Chapter III: Part 3

In de vorld if dere's not enough veat,
For to make all de beeples some pread,
Den de poor vill get notting to eat,
Und dey all vill go britty soon dead,
So John Bull some potatoes vill sow,
Vere dose rabbits und pheasants haf stayed,
Und de veat, oats und barley vill grow
Vere de tennis und cricket vas blayed.

To pe oudt on de land it seems good,
Vere dose onions and cabbages grow,
Vere de pigs fall ashleep in de mud
Und de ducks in de vater vill go;
But I vork so hard now efry day,
Und I gets so beeg tired py night,
To dose friends dat I luf far avay
Den I hafn't no courage to write.

I shoost vork, und I shleep, und I eat,
So I hafn't much news for to send;
You vould hear of de Sherman redreat,
Vell I hopes dis beeg var vill soon end.
All mine troubles I hardly can't bear,
How is tings in de Faderland now?
If ve lose yet, or vin, I don't care,
So I only get back to mine frau.

Yours ever.
Fritz.

INDEX TO WAR RHYMES

Foreword Page

Modern Diplomacy 5

The Allied Forces 6

The Modern Good Samaritan 8

Satan's Soliloquy 9

The Canadian Way 10

The English Woman's Complaint 11

Unemployed 12

The Hate of Hans 13

Hans Begins to Wonder 14

=Recruiting Appeals=

Jack Canuck 18

What Owest Thou? 19

A Call to the Colors 20

Choose Ye 21

The Slacker's Son 22

Blasted Hopes 23

Langemark 24

The Canadian Army 25

Fight or Pay 26

=Rhymes for Children=

Hunting the Were-Wolf 30

Johnnie's Grouch 31

The Trench that Fritz Built 32

=Nursery Rhymes--Up-to-Date=

Ten Little Slackers 34

Jingles 35

=Miscellaneous=

Bedlam 38

The Certainties 39

The Friendly Spies 40

Jack Canuck to Uncle Sam 41

Sammy 42

France to Columbia 43

Jim's Sacrifice 44

The Orgy of Thor 45

Motes and Beams 46

Nurse Cavell 47

'Twas Ever Thus 48

Ego 49

Freedom 50

Twenty Years After 50

Faith 51

Everybody Helping 52

The World's Overdraft 53

Slackers 54

The Loyal Blacks 55

The Troubles of Tino 56

Has the World Gone Mad? 57

The Trees 57

Who Knows 58

Afterwards 59

German Securities Fall 60

Trouble in the Trenches 61

The Worshippers 62

To Jean Baptiste 63

The Lost Tribes 63

Reliability 65

The McLeans 65

Farmer John Speaks 66

When the Game Isn't Fair 67

Heinies' Holler 68

What We Won 69

The Home Coming 69

=The Opinions of Fritz=

Fritz Finds Fault 72

Fritz Has Another Grouch 73

The Kaiser Consults Fritz 74

Fritz in the Hospital 75

Fritz Philosophizes 76

Fritz Writes to His Frau 77

Katrina's Reply 78

Fritz Writes Again 79

Katrina Replies 80

Fritz Learns About Canada 81

Fritz Can't Furshtay 82

Fritz Is Learning 83

Fritz Hears from the Kaiser 84

Fritz Advises the Kaiser 85

Fritz Admits Ignorance 86

Fritz on the English 87

When Will It End 88

The Kaiser Again Consults Fritz 89

Fritz Warns the Kaiser 90

Fritz Goes Farming 91

* * * * *

Transcriber's Notes:

"Wayfarer" is a pseudonym of Abner Cosens.

Left one instance of Alsace-Lorraine and one of Alsace-Loraine
Left one instance of out-classed and one of outclassed
Left one instance of saur-kraut and four of saurkraut
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