Chapter I: A Young Soldier

Kincaid dismisses, as not worth remembering or recording, all the tame days of his life before he became a soldier on active service, and plunges abruptly into his tale:--

"I joined the 2nd Battalion Rifle Brigade (then the 95th), at Hythe Barracks, in the spring of 1809, and, in a month after, we proceeded to form a part of the expedition to Holland, under the Earl of Chatham.

"With the usual quixotic feelings of a youngster, I remember how desirous I was, on the march to Deal, to impress the minds of the natives with a suitable notion of the magnitude of my importance, by carrying a donkey-load of pistols in my belt, and screwing my naturally placid countenance up to a pitch of ferocity beyond what it was calculated to bear.

"We embarked in the Downs, on board the _Hussar_ frigate, and afterwards removed to the _Namur_, a seventy-four, in which we were conveyed to our destination. We landed on the island of South Beeveland, where we remained about three weeks, playing at soldiers, smoking mynheer's long clay pipes, and drinking his vrow's butter-milk, for which I paid liberally with my precious blood to their infernal mosquitoes; not to mention that I had all the extra valour shaken out of me by a horrible ague, which commenced a campaign on my carcass, and compelled me to retire upon Scotland, for the aid of my native air, by virtue of which it was ultimately routed.

"I shall not carry my first chapter beyond my first campaign, as I am anxious that my reader should not expend more than his first breath upon an event which cost too many their last.

"I rejoined the battalion, at Hythe, in the spring of 1810, and, finding that the company to which I belonged had embarked to join the first battalion in the Peninsula, and that they were waiting at Spithead for a fair wind, I immediately applied, and obtained permission, to join them. We anchored in the Tagus in September; no thanks to the ship, for she was a leaky one, and wishing foul winds to the skipper, for he was a bad one.

"To look at Lisbon from the Tagus, there are few cities in the universe that can promise so much, and none, I hope, that can keep it so badly. I only got on shore one day for a few hours, and as I never again had an opportunity of correcting the impression, I have no objection to its being considered an uncharitable one; but I wandered for a time amid the abominations of its streets and squares, in the vain hope that I had got involved among a congregation of stables and out-houses; but I was at length compelled to admit it as the miserable apology for the fair city that I had seen from the harbour.

"It pleased the great disposer of naval events to remove us to another and a better ship, and to send us off for Figuera next day with a foul wind. Sailing at the rate of one mile in two hours, we reached Figuera's Bay at the end of eight days, and were welcomed by about a hundred hideous-looking Portuguese women, whose joy was so excessive that they waded up to their arm-pits through a heavy surf, and insisted on carrying us on shore on their backs! I never clearly ascertained whether they had been actuated by the purity of love or gold."

Kincaid joined Wellington's forces at what might well have seemed a very gloomy juncture. The British army was in full retreat. The star of Massena shone in the ascendant. Talavera and Busaco had been fought, and fought apparently in vain. Spain was abandoned, Portugal invaded. Wellington seemed to be retreating to his ships. The secret of the great lines of Torres Vedras, which were to finally arrest Massena's advance, and save not only Portugal, but the Peninsula--perhaps Europe--had been so well kept that even Wellington's own forces were in ignorance of their existence. Yet Kincaid shows an easy and careless unconsciousness of the disquieting aspect the campaign wore. It was enough for him that he marched and fought with his regiment, and shared all its fortunes. He scarcely looks beyond the files of his own company, and has no doubt whatever that the French will be satisfactorily thrashed in the end!

"We proceeded next morning to join the army; and as our route lay
through the city of Coimbra we came to the magnanimous resolution
of providing ourselves with all manner of comforts and equipments
for the campaign on our arrival there; but when we entered it at
the end of the second day, our disappointment was quite eclipsed by
astonishment at finding ourselves the only living things in the city,
which ought to have been furnished with twenty thousand souls.

"Lord Wellington was then in the course of his retreat from the
frontiers of Spain to the lines of Torres Vedras, and had compelled
the inhabitants on the line of march to abandon their homes, and
to destroy or carry away everything that could be of service to
the enemy. It was a measure that ultimately saved their country,
though ruinous and distressing to those concerned, and on no class
of individuals did it bear harder, for the moment, than our own
little detachment, a company of rosy-cheeked, chubbed youths, who,
after three months' feeding on ship's dumplings, were thus thrust,
at a moment of extreme activity, in the face of an advancing foe,
supported by a pound of raw beef, drawn every day fresh from the
bullock, and a mouldy biscuit.

"The difficulties we encountered were nothing out of the usual course
of old campaigners; but, untrained and unprovided as I was, I still
looked back upon the twelve or fourteen days following the battle
of Busaco as the most trying I have ever experienced, for we were
on our legs from daylight until dark, in daily contact with the
enemy; and, to satisfy the stomach of an ostrich, I had, as already
stated, only a pound of beef, a pound of biscuit, and one glass of
rum. A brother-officer was kind enough to strap my boat-cloak and
portmanteau on the mule carrying his heavy baggage, which, on account
of the proximity of the foe, was never permitted to be within a
day's march of us, so that, in addition to my simple uniform, my
only covering every night was the canopy of heaven, from whence the
dews descended so refreshingly that I generally awoke, at the end of
an hour, chilled, and wet to the skin; and I could only purchase an
equal length of additional repose by jumping up and running about
until I acquired a sleeping quantity of warmth. Nothing in life can
be more ridiculous than seeing a lean, lank fellow start from a
profound sleep at midnight, and begin lashing away at the Highland
fling as if St. Andrew himself had been playing the bagpipes; but it
was a measure that I very often had recourse to, as the cleverest
method of producing heat. In short, though the prudent general may
preach the propriety of light baggage in the enemy's presence, I will
ever maintain that there is marvellous small personal comfort in
travelling so fast and so lightly as I did.

"The Portuguese farmers will tell you that the beauty of their
climate consists in their crops receiving from the nightly dews the
refreshing influence of a summer's shower, and that they ripen in
the daily sun. But they are a sordid set of rascals! Whereas I speak
with the enlightened views of a man of war, and say, that it is poor
consolation to me, after having been deprived of my needful repose,
and kept all night in a fever, dancing wet and cold, to be told that
I shall be warm enough in the morning? It is like frying a person
after he has been boiled; and I insisted upon it, that if their sun
had been milder and their dews lighter I should have found it much
more pleasant.

"Having now brought myself regularly into the field, under the
renowned Wellington, should this narrative, by any accident,
fall into the hands of others who served there, and who may be
unreasonable enough to expect their names to be mentioned in it, let
me tell them that they are most confoundedly mistaken! Every man may
write a book for himself, if he likes; but this is mine; and, as I
borrow no man's story, neither will I give any man a particle of
credit for his deed, as I have got so little for my own that I have
none to spare. Neither will I mention any regiment but my own, if I
can possibly avoid it, for there is none other that I like so much,
and none else so much deserves it; for we were the light regiment of
the Light Division, and fired the first and last shot in almost every
battle, siege, and skirmish in which the army was engaged during the
war.

"In stating the foregoing resolution, however, with regard to
regiments, I beg to be understood as identifying our old and gallant
associates, the 43rd and 52nd, as a part of ourselves, for they bore
their share in everything, and I love them as I hope to do my better
half (when I come to be divided); wherever we were, they were; and
although the nature of our arm generally gave us more employment in
the way of skirmishing, yet, whenever it came to a pinch, independent
of a suitable mixture of them among us, we had only to look behind to
see a line, in which we might place a degree of confidence, almost
equal to our hopes in heaven; nor were we ever disappointed. There
never was a corps of riflemen in the hands of such supporters!"

On October 12, Wellington entered the lines of Torres Vedras, and Massena found his advance barred by frowning lines of trenched and gun-crowned hills, the screen behind which his great antagonist had vanished. During the last few days of the retreat and pursuit the pace of events quickened; the British rearguard was sharply pressed, and Kincaid, for once grows consecutive and orderly in his narrative:--

"_October 1, 1810._--We stood to our arms at daylight this morning,
on a hill in front of Coimbra; and, as the enemy soon after came
on in force, we retired before them through the city. The civil
authorities, in making their own hurried escape, had totally
forgotten that they had left a jail full of rogues unprovided
for, and who, as we were passing near them, made the most hideous
screaming for relief. Our quarter-master-general very humanely took
some men, who broke open the doors, and the whole of them were soon
seen howling along the bridge into the wide world, in the most
delightful delirium, with the French dragoons at their heels.

"We retired the same night through Condacia, where the commissariat
were destroying quantities of stores that they were unable to carry
off. They handed out shoes and shirts to any one that would take
them, and the streets were literally running ankle deep with rum, in
which the soldiers were dipping their cups and helping themselves as
they marched along. The commissariat, some years afterwards, called
for a return of the men who had received shirts and shoes on this
occasion, with a view of making us pay for them, but we very briefly
replied that the one-half were dead, and the other half would be
d----d before they would pay anything.

"We retired this day to Leria, and, at the entrance of the city,
saw an English and a Portuguese soldier dangling by the bough of a
tree--the first summary example I had ever seen of martial law.

"We halted one night near the convent of Batalha, one of the finest
buildings in Portugal. It has, I believe, been clearly established,
that a living man in ever so bad health is better than two dead
ones; but it appears that the latter will vary in value according to
circumstances, for we found here, in very high preservation, the body
of King John of Portugal, who founded the edifice in commemoration
of some victory, God knows how long ago; and though he would have
been reckoned a highly valuable antique, within a glass case, in an
apothecary's hall in England, yet he was held so cheap in his own
house, that the very finger which most probably pointed the way to
the victory alluded to, is now in the baggage of the Rifle Brigade.
Reader, point not thy finger at me, for I am not the man.

"Retired on the morning of a very wet, stormy day to Allenquer, a
small town on the top of a mountain, surrounded by still higher ones;
and, as the enemy had not shown themselves the evening before, we
took possession of the houses, with a tolerable prospect of being
permitted the unusual treat of eating a dinner under cover. But by
the time that the pound of beef was parboiled, and while an officer
of dragoons was in the act of reporting that he had just patrolled
six leagues to the front, without seeing any signs of an enemy,
we saw the indefatigable rascals, on the mountains opposite our
windows, just beginning to wind round us, with a mixture of cavalry
and infantry; the wind blowing so strong that the long tail of
each particular horse stuck as stiffly out in the face of the one
behind, as if the whole had been strung upon a cable and dragged by
the leaders. We turned out a few companies, and kept them in check
while the division was getting under arms, spilt the soup as usual,
and, transferring the smoking solids to the haversack, for future
mastication, we continued our retreat.

"Our long retreat ended at midnight, on our arrival at the handsome
little town of Arruda, which was destined to be the piquet post of
our division, in front of the fortified lines. The quartering of our
division, whether by night or by day, was an affair of about five
minutes. The quarter-master-general preceded the troops, accompanied
by the brigade-majors and the quarter-masters of regiments; and
after marking off certain houses for his general and staff, he split
the remainder of the town between the majors of brigades; they,
in their turn, provided for their generals and staff, and then
made a wholesale division of streets among the quarter-masters of
regiments, who, after providing for their commanding officers and
staff, retailed the remaining houses, in equal proportions, among the
companies; so that, by the time that the regiment arrived, there was
nothing to be done beyond the quarter-master's simply telling each
captain, 'Here's a certain number of houses for you.'

"Like all other places on the line of march, we found Arruda totally
deserted; and its inhabitants had fled in such a hurry, that the
keys of their house doors were the only things they carried away,
so that when we got admission through our usual key--transmitting
a rifle-ball through the keyhole: it opens every lock--we were not
a little gratified to find that the houses were not only regularly
furnished, but most of them had some food in the larder, and a
plentiful supply of good wines in the cellar; and, in short, that
they only required a few lodgers capable of appreciating the good
things which the gods had provided; and the deuce is in it if we were
not the very folks who could!

"Those who wish a description of the lines of Torres Vedras, must
part. I know nothing, excepting that I was told that one end of them
rested on the Tagus, and the other somewhere on the sea; and I saw,
with my own eyes, a variety of redoubts and fieldworks on the various
hills which stand between. This, however, I do know, that we have
since kicked the French out of more formidable-looking and stronger
places; and, with all due deference be it spoken, I think that the
Prince of Essling ought to have tried his luck against them, as he
could only have been beaten by fighting, as he afterwards was without
it! And if he thinks that he would have lost as many men by trying,
as he did by not trying, he must allow me to differ in opinion with
him.

"In very warm or very wet weather it was customary to put us under
cover in the town during the day, but we were always moved back
to our bivouac on the heights during the night; and it was rather
amusing to observe the different notions of individual comfort, in
the selection of furniture, which officers transferred from their
town house to their no house on the heights. A sofa, or a mattress,
one would have thought most likely to be put in requisition; but
it was not unusual to see a full-length looking-glass preferred to
either.

"We certainly lived in clover while we remained here; everything we
saw was our own, seeing no one there who had a more legitimate claim;
and every field was a vineyard. Ultimately it was considered too much
trouble to pluck the grapes, as there were a number of poor native
thieves in the habit of coming from the rear every day to steal some,
so that a soldier had nothing to do but to watch one until he was
marching off with his basket full, when he would very deliberately
place his back against that of the Portuguese, and relieve him of his
load, without wasting any words about the bargain. The poor wretch
would follow the soldier to the camp, in the hope of having his
basket returned, as it generally was, when emptied."

Massena held on to his position in front of the great lines he dared not attack till November 12, then he fell back to Santarem, whence he could still keep Wellington blockaded. He held this position till March 1811, nearly five months in all--months of cold, rain, and hunger--a miracle of stubborn and sullen endurance. Kincaid, acting on his usual principle that all time not occupied in actively doing something is to be counted as non-existent, passes over the tale of these months in a dozen lines. His narrative only becomes full again when Wellington sallies out of his hilly stronghold and presses in pursuit of Massena. We then have graphic pictures of the hardships of a soldier's life:--

"Massena, conceiving any attack upon our lines to be hopeless, as
his troops were rapidly mouldering away with sickness and want, at
length began to withdraw them nearer to the source of his supplies.
He abandoned his position, opposite to us, on the night of November
9, leaving some stuffed-straw gentlemen occupying their usual posts.
Some of them were cavalry, some infantry, and they seemed such
respectable representatives of their spectral predecessors, that,
in the haze of the following morning, we thought that they had been
joined by some well-fed ones from the rear; and it was late in the
day before we discovered the mistake, and advanced in pursuit.

"It was late ere we halted for the night, on the side of the road,
near to Allenquer, and I got under cover in a small house, which
looked as if it had been honoured as the headquarters of the
tailor-general of the French army, for the floor was strewed with
variegated threads, various complexioned buttons, with particles and
remnants of cabbage; and, if it could not boast of the flesh and fowl
of Noah's ark, there was an abundance of the creeping things which it
were to be wished that that commander had not left behind.

"On our arrival at Valle, on November 12, we found the enemy behind
the Rio Maior, occupying the heights of Santarem, and exchanged
some shots with their advanced posts. In the course of the night
we experienced one of those tremendous thunderstorms which used to
precede the Wellington victories, and which induced us to expect a
general action on the following day. I had disposed myself to sleep
in a beautiful green hollow way, and, before I had time even to dream
of the effects of their heavy rains, I found myself floating most
majestically towards the river, in a fair way of becoming food for
the fishes. I ever after gave those inviting-looking spots a wide
berth, as I found that they were regular watercourses.

"Next morning our division crossed the river, and commenced a false
attack on the enemy's left, with a view of making them show their
force; and it was to have been turned into a real attack, if their
position was found to be occupied by a rearguard only; but, after
keeping up a smart skirmishing fire the great part of the day, Lord
Wellington was satisfied that their whole army was present; we were
consequently withdrawn.

"This affair terminated the campaign of 1810. Our division took
possession of the village of Valle and its adjacents, and the rest
of the army was placed in cantonments, under whatever cover the
neighbouring country afforded."

Here are some of Kincaid's pictures of a British army in winter quarters, with one fierce campaign behind it, and another, almost sterner still in character, before it:--

"Our battalion was stationed in some empty farm-houses, near the end
of the bridge of Santarem, which was nearly half a mile long; and our
sentries and those of the enemy were within pistol-shot of each other
on the bridge.

"I do not mean to insinuate that a country is never so much at peace
as when at open war; but I do say that a soldier can nowhere sleep so
soundly, nor is he anywhere so secure from surprise, as when within
musket-shot of his enemy.

"We lay four months in this situation, divided only by a rivulet,
without once exchanging shots. Every evening, at the hour

'When bucks to dinner go, And cits to sup,'

it was our practice to dress for sleep: we saddled our horses,
buckled on our armour, and lay down, with the bare floor for a
bed, and a stone for a pillow, ready for anything, and reckless of
everything but the honour of our corps and country; for I will say
(to save the expense of a trumpeter) that a more devoted set of
fellows were never associated. We stood to our arms every morning at
an hour before daybreak, and remained there until a grey horse could
be seen a mile off (which is the military criterion by which daylight
is acknowledged, and the hour of surprise past), when we proceeded to
unharness and to indulge in such luxuries as our toilet and our table
afforded.

"Our piquet-post, at the bridge, became a regular lounge for the
winter to all manner of folks. I used to be much amused at seeing our
naval officers come up from Lisbon riding on mules, with huge ships'
spy-glasses, like six-pounders, strapped across the backs of their
saddles. Their first question invariably was, 'Who is that fellow
there' (pointing to the enemy's sentry close to us), and, on being
told that he was a Frenchman, 'Then why the devil don't you shoot
him!'

"Repeated acts of civility passed between the French and us during
this tacit suspension of hostilities. The greyhounds of an officer
followed a hare, on one occasion, into their lines, and they very
politely returned them. I was one night on piquet at the end of the
bridge when a ball came from the French sentry and struck the burning
billet of wood round which we were sitting, and they sent in a flag
of truce next morning to apologise for the accident, and to say that
it had been done by a stupid fellow of a sentry, who imagined that
people were advancing upon him. We admitted the apology, though we
knew well enough that it had been done by a malicious rather than a
stupid fellow from the situation we occupied.

"General Junot, one day reconnoitring, was severely wounded by a
sentry, and Lord Wellington, knowing that they were at that time
destitute of everything in the shape of comfort, sent to request his
acceptance of anything that Lisbon afforded that could be of any
service to him; but the French general was too much of a politician
to admit the want of anything."