Chapter VII: Part 7

Such were my reflections before I had reached the last stile next to Samson's Ribs. Early visions of Duddingston Loch had haunted me through the day; and hence I had sought again the scene that so sweetly combines the Alpine and champaign, as if they here met to embrace. I had passed up through the valley between the Craigs and Arthur Seat, and continued sauntering along the narrow road, like one cast forth by all the world, gloomy and dissatisfied--my head leaning forward, my eyes fixed vacantly upon the ground, and my hands at my back. Some maidens and their swains were dancing beneath at the Wells of Weary,[3] to the measure of their own "wood-notes wild." My heart was touched almost to tears. The demon that drove enjoyment from my walks fled, and a flood of tender recollections flowed in upon it. On that verdant spot, thirty-two years before, I had been as happy and as joyous as the group before me, dancing to the same heart-stirring air, with one I had loved with all the fervour of a youthful heart, until the chilling influence of what the world calls prudence damped my flame, but could not extinguish it. She was now the dispenser of happiness and comfort to another, and the mother of a lovely family--not so rich in what the world calls wealth; how much richer was she in peace and joy! I had for years kept her heart in suspense, until it sickened at my undecided courtship and shuffling delays. I know she loved me better than all the world beside, and would have consented to be mine, whatever had been my lot--faithful and kind to me, also a soother of my soul, in all conditions, she would have been. To riches I had sacrificed her and myself. Alas! I found now their heart-searing consolations. Again and again have I striven to persuade myself that I acted wisely in delaying our union. I at the time even took praise for vanquishing the warmth of my love, that we might feel less the delay. Alas! I knew not woman's heart. My coolness pained and piqued her; and while I was all-intent upon acquiring wealth which she was to enjoy with me, another was warming that heart which I had chilled. She was wed unknown to me. I met the marriage party in the church. What would I have given, to have been able to roll back the wheels of Time, and throw upon them all my hopes of wealth, with the curse which they deserved.

[Footnote 3: The Wells of Weary are now numbered with the things that were. The terminus of the Dalkeith and Edinburgh Railway tunnel, at the eastern end, has swept them away. They were the favourite resort, in the olden time, of the love-sick swains and maidens of the city. Many a soft tale of love was breathed there. It was a wild, sequestered spot--in our recollection like an oasis in a desert, rendered lovely by the neighbouring stillness and desolation.]

In this reverie I stumbled upon an artist. He was drawing the scene of my dreams. A few words passed. He resumed; and I gazed upon the happy group which he was ably sketching, till early recollections raised a sigh almost amounting to a groan. The stranger started, and inquired if I was unwell. The sincere and sympathising tone of his voice interested me, and I requested to have the pleasure of looking at his sketch.

"You are most welcome," he replied: "but it is a mere scratch. I will be enabled to do much better soon. I mean it for the foreground of a picture I am painting, sir. I am one of the most fortunate fellows in the world; I always get what I wish just at the moment I want it, or at least soon after it."

This speech struck me as a most singular one from the person who made it. He was apparently about thirty years of age, with an open, generous countenance, which, though not handsome, exhibited the glance of the eye and lofty brow that spoke intellect and feeling.

"I am no judge of painting or drawing further than of what gives me pleasure," said I; and I looked upon his sketch with a melancholy delight; for he had drawn the group as they really were--true to nature--and fancy enabled me to see, in one of the females, her I had lost. I spoke my praise in the warmth of my feelings; for I again enjoyed the scene so much, that it conquered my love of money, and I at once, and for the first time in my life, resolved to purchase a picture.

I looked from the sketch to the artist, to examine the man I was to deal with, that I might judge how to make my bargain; for, strong as my inclination was to have the picture, my mercantile habits were equally strong. His dress was much the worse for the service it had seen; and there was an appearance of penury about him that made me anticipate a good bargain.

"Do you paint for amusement only," said I, "or do you dispose of them?"

"I paint for fame and fortune, my good sir," said he; "but I am yet only a novice in the noble art, however long I may have been an admirer."

"Is your present work bespoke?" again said I.

"Oh no, sir," replied he; "but I will soon get it off my hands when it is finished; for I am, as I told you, a fortunate man."

"How much do you expect for it?"

"If I had as much money as purchase a frame for it," said he, "I might get five pounds; but, as that is not the case, I must take what I can get from a dealer--perhaps a pound, or less."

For the first time for many years, I felt the generous glow of doing good to a fellow-creature at the expense of my cash; but, if the truth will be told, it was the recollection of the good and gentle Helen that at this moment operated upon me.

"Well, sir, if you will sell me this sketch and the finished picture for two pounds, I will be the purchaser," said I.

"I accept your offer," was his reply, "and I feel grateful for your patronage, as I am yet unknown; but I feel confident I shall succeed at length in this my present aim at fame and fortune. The goddess has eluded me often, doubtless even when I was sure I held her in my grasp. But that is nothing. I was happy, as I am at present, in the pursuit; for all my life has been a series of anticipations supremely happy."

We had stood during this discourse; my eye was on him; and I could see the glow that was upon his face. How strange to me it seemed: I, too, had lived in anticipation of being rich, yet never felt the thrill, the full joy, of hope which possession banishes. How justly may anticipation and fruition be compared to youth and age!--the one, joyous and buoyant, moves along the rough walks of life, with hope pointing the way and smoothing his path; fruition, like an aged traveller, feeble and spent, sees ever a length of way before him, rendered rougher by cares for what he has attained, while all behind him is nothing. One of my gloomy fits was coming over me--my mind was turning in upon itself, when he aroused me, by inquiring where he should have the pleasure of bringing his work to me. I gave him my address, and we began to return to the city. Long before we reached the last stile, he had so won upon my regard, that I invited him home with me to supper, under promise that he should give me an outline of his life. He redeemed his pledge thus:--

My father, Andrew Elder (said he), lived in one of the villages not far from town, where I was born. He was not rich, but well enough to do; by trade a joiner, tolerably well read, of a shrewd and argumentative turn of mind, and the oracle of the village, at a time when it was distracted by the politics of the period, which ran high between the aristocrats and democrats. The French Revolution had attained the climax of its horrors, and the best blood of France was poured forth as water. Once a democrat, he had changed his former opinions, and his antipathy was as intense against the bloody miscreants who, in the public commotion, had wriggled themselves into their bad pre-eminence, as his sympathy had been strong at the commencement in favour of an enslaved people. I was scarce seventeen--an anxious listener to all that passed in the shop between my father and his opponents. All he said was to me true as holy writ; and those hearers who doubted one word he said were deemed worthy only of my pity. Well do I recollect--it was the beginning of May, 1794, and our dinner hour; the newspaper had just arrived; a number of neighbours were seated on or standing around the bench on which the all-engrossing paper was spread. My father gave a shout of triumph, and looked contempt upon the democratic part of his audience, who were ranged on the opposite side. They again looked, their anxiety not unmixed with fear.

"Hurrah!" cried my father, "the bloody monsters will soon be put down and die by their own accursed guillotine. James, run into the house and bring me my Gazetteer; I wish to see the map."

I was not slow to obey, for I was as eager to learn the cause of my father's joy as the oldest politician present.

He read, with exultation, the arrival of the Emperor of Germany at Brussels on the 9th of April, and his advance to Valenciennes, to join the Duke of York, who lay there with the Allied Army under his command. Then, opening Guthrie's well-thumbed volume, and laying it before his auditors, he seized his compasses, as a marshal would his truncheon, waved them in triumph, then spread out the map, measuring on the scale a number of leagues to illustrate his demonstration.

"Now, attention, you blacknebs," he said, "and do not interrupt me;" and immediately all eyes were bent upon the map. "Now, here is Valenciennes," said he; "and here is Paris, the den of the murderers. The Allies will be there in three weeks at farthest; what can stay them? Tell me, ye democrats!" They hung their heads, as he struck the bench, to give his demonstration force. "In four months," he continued, "the king, Louis XVII., will be in Paris, to avenge his brother's blood; and peace will be restored before the corn is off the ground. Hurrah!"

There might have been some grave humour in his earnestness, but his prophecy made an impression on me he little dreamed of; while he spoke, a voice seemed to sound in my ear that made me start--"Here is an opportunity for you to see the world you have often wished for. The contest will not last four months; you may enter the navy, which will be paid off at the end of the war; be home before winter, and boast to your father of all you have seen and done." The impulse was so strong that I left the politicians in keen debate--for the dinner hour was not expired--and, putting on my coat and hat, set off for Leith as quick as I could walk. My only fear was that I might be too late to be received; the account of the Allies having entered Paris might have arrived; peace might be made before I could join, and my golden dreams be dissipated.

It was nearly dark before I reached the rendezvous upon the shore. A throb of joy gave new spirit to me when I saw the union-jack hanging over the door. I entered at once, and inquired if I was not too late to go on board of a man-of-war?

"By no means," said the active Captain Nash, who was present at the time. "Were you ever at sea, my spirited lad?"

"No, sir," said I; "but I hope that will be no objection."

"Oh, none in the least," said he. "You shall, in an hour or two, be put on board the tender which sails for the Nore to-morrow. Here, mate, give this volunteer something to drink his majesty's health."

I was now seated at a long table, at which were some of the most forbidding individuals I had ever seen: several were evidently intoxicated, spoke in phrases I could not comprehend, and uttered oaths that made my heart tremble. I became bewildered; the situation in which I had placed myself was not what I had anticipated. I loathed the liquor they offered me, began to think I had done a foolish action, and wished to be at my bench again, a free agent.

How long my mind continued in this state I know not; but I was soon roused to a fuller sense of the situation in which I had so rashly placed myself. I soon saw enough to make me weep. Six of the gang entered, swearing, and threatening two young sailors, whom they dragged in with them, and who, as well as several of their captors, were severely cut, bruised, and bleeding. They had, doubtless, fought stoutly to escape the gang. I was there a voluntary victim, and any little fortitude that had until now sustained me fled, as I gazed upon the painful sight. They were both about the same age, and stout, active young men; they spoke not one word; but their countenances were sad, gloomy, and desponding; and, at times, I could perceive a shade of sullenness, bordering on ferocity, pass over their faces, as they lifted their eyes from the floor towards the men who were busy removing the stains of the conflict. In a short time after, we were taken to the Ferry Stairs, and put into their boat. It was now, for the first time, that I began to doubt if my father was correct in his eulogiums of British liberty. I soon understood that the cases of these lads were peculiarly hard; yet, after all, not so very hard as that of many I afterwards knew. They were brothers, and belonged to Leith, where their parents still lived. They had been absent three years upon a whaling expedition in the South Seas; and, anxious to see their father and mother (the former of whom was stretched on a sick-bed), had, with circumspection, and in disguise, reached their home, when, only after a few hours, some unfeeling wretch, for the paltry reward, became informer, and the gang secured their prey. The sick, if not dying, parent entreated in vain; and the mother's tears and groans, as she saw her loved and manly sons struggling against an overwhelming force (for what, my father oft had said, was the birthright of every British subject), were equally unavailing. I kept my eyes on the two youths who, for no offence, were thus treated as felons, and compelled, against their wills and interests, to leave their homes, and all that they held dear; yet, so strangely are we constituted, this train of thought passed off, as I surveyed the clear night, with the full moon shining in a cloudless sky, and reflected by the waters of the placid Frith. My young heart even felt a glow of pleasure: I hoped the worst of my new life was past, and that I would soon be again with my father, to recount to him the sights I had seen.

When we reached the tall dark sides of the (to my inexperienced mind) gigantic tender, all my regrets were fled, and expectation again filled my breast. Having hailed, and been answered by the watch on board, the two pressed men were forced to ascend from the boat, which they did with an ease and facility that astonished me. I attempted to stand up, but fell across the thwarts--the motion of the boat, inconsiderable as it was, throwing me off my balance at every effort. Forced to hold on by one of the gang, I had my ears filled with a volley of oaths. A rope was at last lowered from the deck, and made fast under my arms, and thus I partly climbed, and was partly hoisted up, until I could hold on by the bulwarks--furnishing merriment to those on board, and greeted by no kindly voice, my feelings were again damped. For the first time in my life I felt that I was alone in the world, and must rely upon my own energies for protection. Ordered below, I staggered, as I moved upon the deck, like one intoxicated, still grasping at everything to prevent me falling, and bewildered at all I saw and heard. How unlike were these things to what I had found in books, or dreamed of in my enthusiasm, of the noble navy of my country. My mind was all confusion. My native language, spoken by those around me, was mixed with such terms and phrases, that it was all but incomprehensible. When I reached the hatch, and was in the act of descending the ladder, I missed my hold, fell to the deck, and a laugh sounded in my ears--all the pity I received, though I lay sick, stunned, and bruised among my fellow-creatures. I crawled out of the way, lest I should be trampled upon by those who had occasion to pass up and down. No kindly hand was held out to me; and there upon the bare boards I passed my first night from home. Youth and health triumphed, and I soon fell sound asleep.

Well, not to be too circumstantial, this rough initiation into my naval adventures was of immense advantage to me. Follow out my course I must, whether I now willed or not. I had the consolation of my father's prophecy, that the war would terminate before the winter commenced; and if I wished to see the world, I must take things as they come. It has ever been my nature to look upon every event on the sunny side. I anticipate pleasure even amidst privations and discomfort; and I have thus enjoyed hours and days of happiness, when those who suffered with me have been driven almost to despair. When day dawned, I was awakened by the noise and bustle around me. I looked at the murky den in which I had passed the night close by a gun-carriage. Some were extended on the deck here and there; a greater number snugly hung in their hammocks were the regular seamen; the others were landsmen like myself, unprovided with anything--their all on their backs, and as ignorant of life at sea as their purses were empty. I will not say that I was pleased with the turn my adventure had assumed; yet I was not discouraged; I knew that thousands passed their lives in the navy, and I would not be worse off than my equals in rank. I arose, and, seated upon the gun-carriage, began to be amused by what was passing around. As the day advanced, my interest began to increase, and I formed a few friendships with my fellows. One of these, a young seaman who had been impressed a few days before out of a West Indiaman, was of vast service to me, in giving me instruction how to conduct myself, and allowed me to sleep with him. I had left home without one shilling; was provided with nothing, and must remain so until rated in some ship after we reached the Nore.

No person who has not seen, can conceive the scenes of wickedness and folly that are acted on board a tender, where all are crowded together with no regular messes formed, and no routine of duty laid down to engage the mind or dispel the tedium. The careless act their parts, but the thoughts are forced in upon the serious thinker. Some sat in deep abstraction, unconscious of all that was passing around them, fetching a deep sigh occasionally, and looking mournfully at their merry mates; others were walking backwards and forwards, with a restless cast of countenance, like a caged animal; while here and there were small groups, deep plunged in the excitement of gambling for small sums, and swearing over their well-thumbed dirty cards; others were carousing in secret, with ardent spirits, brought secretly on board, by boats which were continually arriving from or departing for the shore with the friends of those on board; and very many passed their time listlessly leaning over the nettings, gazing upon the shore they were so soon to see, perhaps, for the last time, yet caring not whether they ever saw it again or not. At length the boatswain piped to weigh anchor. The foresheet was shaken out, and we stood down the Frith. As the shores receded from us, some became more sad, but the greater number seemed as if a load had been taken from their minds. As for myself, I felt my spirits increase as we gallantly bounded over the waters.

When we reached the Nore, I, along with several others, was draughted into a frigate, which had received orders to sail for the West Indies. As soon as I was rated, I received from the purser what necessaries I required, which was placed to my account to be deducted from my wages. I felt my importance much increased as I put on my new dress and got my station on board; yet a qualm of disappointment came over me as I thought of the distance I was to be carried from home, and I began to doubt if I could return to Scotland before winter, when the peace I had anticipated would take place. My sailor life presented many features that belied my expectations. At this time a war-ship was managed in the most tyrannical manner, by the caprice of the captain and first-lieutenant. The rattan of the boatswain was in constant play; and it often seemed as if he struck the men more for his own gratification than their correction. Standing at the foot of the rattlins when they were ordered aloft, he invariably struck the last, whether in ascending or descending. This was to make them look sharp. The same course was followed in regard to every duty to which he called them; and a dozen or more of lashes were often given for what the most microscopic eye could not have detected as a fault: the cat was seldom out of use, and never a day passed without several punishments. A chit of a midshipman, if he took an umbrage at a man, would order him to stand while he mounted a gun-carriage to strike him about the head or face; and if the gallant fellow moved on, he was reported to the officer on duty as mutinous, tied to the grating, and received a dozen or two. Our provisions too were very scanty, and not of the best quality; while a complaint would have been mutiny. Before we reached the Island of Jamaica, custom overcame disgust. I saw, besides, that it was the rule of the service--officers were not, in their station, better off than the men; midshipmen were cobbed or ordered aloft with as little compunction or inquiry as the men were flogged. The only individual on board who stood not in fear of some other alongside was the captain; yet he feared the admiral, and the admiral crouched to the Lords of the Admiralty, who succumbed to the ministry, who crouched to the king; and, as a landsman on board a man-of-war, all being in a circle, I was next to him again to complete it. The whole I saw to be an intricate system of coercion and discipline; and I submitted with all the cheerfulness I could; but there was a messmate of mine, who claimed the sympathy I disregarded. Poor James! I am to this hour sad when I think of him. Who or what he was I never knew; for his years, he was the best learned and most intelligent person I have ever met with in the world. Every genteel accomplishment was his. About two years my senior, he was an age in advance of me; and I looked up to him with a reverence I have never felt since for any human being, as we have sat on a gun-carriage, I listening to the knowledge that flowed from his lips, and which he took a pleasure in imparting to me. Thus, when it was not our watch, he stored my mind with truths and information, both ancient and modern, the benefit of which I feel even now. An exquisite draughtsman, he taught me the rudiments of the art, and practice has done the rest. Yet he was secret as the grave as to the cause of his sorrows; and though he knew that I wished to be acquainted with his history, not through idle curiosity, but to console him, if in my power, he shunned the subject. That he was born to a rank far above that in which I knew him, both the officers and the men allowed. He was prompt in his duties from an innate sense of honour; and there was a lofty bearing in all he did--not the effect of an effort, but of natural impulse--that extorted the respect of his shipmates; though, of all men, sailors are the quickest at perceiving peculiarity of character among themselves, and an appropriate sobriquet is generally the consequence. To his officers he was as politely humble as the strictest rules could require; but this manner was so different from the uncouth and crouching humility of the other men, that a stranger would have conceived he was the superior returning the civility. His soul was, indeed, truly Roman, and superior to his fate. Whether that fall was the effect of circumstances over which he had no control, or voluntarily chosen, from some secret reason, he would never avow. Once I heard him sigh heavily in his sleep, and murmur the name Matilda; from which I suspected he had been crossed in love, and was now a victim of consuming melancholy, which seemed only lightened by his activity, or when he was storing my mind with information. Books we had none; but I felt not the want. His memory was well stored and tenacious, and he was always ready for whatever subject was the study of the time for which we were at leisure. I feel conscious I learned much more, and infinitely faster, by this oral method, than if I had had the volumes, and read them myself. His vigorous and intelligent mind epitomised and digested my mental food--imparting to me thus the spirit of volumes, which I might in vain have endeavoured to comprehend after long study. But, to proceed:--

With this mixture of pleasure and suffering, we reached Kingston and cast anchor off the harbour, where we had remained only for a few days, when we sailed to cruise in quest of a French frigate, which had taken several of our merchantmen. We continued to range the seas for nearly three weeks, in quest of the enemy, without gaining either sight or intelligence of him, and had almost given up all hope, when, one afternoon, a dense fog came on, which obscured the horizon, and we could not see two lengths of the ship from her decks. It continued thus until a little after sunrise next morning, when a gentle breeze sprung up, which cleared all around, and, to our surprise, we saw a French forty-gun frigate about six or seven leagues to windward. We mounted only thirty guns. The odds were fearfully against us; but the captain resolved to engage the enemy. The boatswain piped all hands to quarters, the drum beat to arms, the bulkheads were taken down, and all was clear for action in a few minutes--every gun double-shotted, and the match waiting the orders to fire. James and I were stationed at the same gun on the quarterdeck, when I saw the enemy, under a cloud of sail, bearing down, with his formidable range of guns bristling his sides. I felt my breathing become short, and a strange sensation took hold of me, as if I doubted whether I could command another full respiration. I looked at James--there was a melancholy shade of satisfaction on his countenance, and I thought I saw a languid smile lurking around his lips, along with a sternness in his eye, that imparted to me a bold feeling of assurance. I stood with the ramrod in my hand. The interval of suspense was short. The Frenchman, as he ranged alongside, within pistol-shot, hailed us in good English to strike. The captain, who stood near me, looking over the nettings, with his speaking-trumpet in his hand, lifted it to his mouth, and roared--

"Ay! ay! I'll strike by and by;" then passed the word--"Now, my lads, give them a broadside."

Scarcely was the order given, when our little frigate quivered from the recoil, and we were enveloped in smoke; but I could hear the crash of our shot on the sides and rigging of the Frenchman, which did not return the fire for a minute or two.

"Well done," shouted the captain. "Another of the same."

And by the time the Frenchman fired his first volley, we were ready. The salute was simultaneous and fearful. The enemy did awful execution: five of our gun-ports were torn into one, and several of our men killed and wounded. I have little recollection of what followed for some time--the smoke was too dense for observation, and my exertions in working our gun were too unremitting to allow of extraneous attentions. At length the shot in the locker being expended, I called for more; and, on looking round, saw my companion, James, lying extended behind the gun, bleeding. There was not one moment to spare--the balls were supplied as quick as called for--and, at the sight of my wounded friend, my dogged resolution was roused to revenge. I urged those who were still able for duty to redouble their fire.

"Well done, Elder!" said the captain; "you are a noble fellow."

At this moment, a small splinter struck my hand, as I withdrew the rammer, and almost divided my forefinger and thumb. I plucked it out--the blood poured--but I felt less pain from that source than from my mouth, which was so dry and parched, that I would have given worlds for a drop of water.

"For God's sake," I cried, "bring me a mouthful of water, for I will not leave my gun."

You may smile at my folly, for who was there to serve me? Yet, patience--the captain, who kept the quarterdeck, as cool as if we had been lying at anchor; nay, cooler, for he was then always finding fault, or in a passion--heard me, and taking a lime from his pocket, cut it in two, and put one-half into my mouth, as I was ramming home the charge.

"Here, my lad," said he, "you deserve it, were it a diamond;" and put the other half into my cut hand. The sting of the pain almost made me cry out. He smiled, and said it would cure it; then remarked to the first lieutenant, who had just come up to him, "I have often heard that the Scots fight best when they are hungry, or see their own blood; there is an instance; look at Elder's hand, and see how he works at his gun."

At this moment I heard a crash--it was our foremast nearly gone by the board.

"These Frenchmen fire well," he said, with the greatest coolness.

"That stroke is very unfortunate," replied the first lieutenant; "but it cannot last long."

"No," said the captain; "they must either strike soon, or blow us out of the water. How is my ship below."

"Much cut up, sir; but our remaining hands work their guns well. The enemy must have suffered severely."

I can convey no impression of the calmness with which these few words were spoken in the middle of this carnage and noise. We had already, as I afterwards learned, been engaged two glasses. All conception of the time, from the first broadside until the last gun was fired, seemed to have been banished from our minds. Scarcely had the conversation between the captain and lieutenant finished, when the Frenchman's mizzenmast fell forward, their fire began to slacken, and we, in a clear interval, could see a bustling on board.

"Boarders, arm," shouted the captain; then, in a lower voice, to one of the officers--"They are either going to run for it, or board us; were our rigging not so much cut up, she might be ours." It was at this moment he first showed his impatience:--"Aim at her rigging," he cried--"she shuns the contest--ten guineas to the gun that disables her;" but her sails began to fill, and she bore away before the wind, leaving us too much disabled to follow her.

When the first firing ceased, I felt so fatigued and faint, from the loss of blood and the pain of my hand, that I leaned upon my gun, almost incapable of exertion. A double allowance of grog was now served out to the survivors. I felt revived, though still unable for duty, and went to the cockpit to see James, who had been carried there, and to have my own hand dressed. A cockpit scene has been often described, but description is a burlesque of the reality. We had twelve killed, and twenty wounded, more or less severely. I found my poor friend lying upon a mattress, calm and resigned--no groan or sob escaped him. One of his legs had been broken and cut by a splinter, and there was a wound from a musket-ball in his shoulder. Both had been dressed by the surgeon, who was a humane, active, and skilful man. When my own scratch was cleaned and dressed, all my attention was bestowed upon James and others. An hospital was rigged out, and every care humanity could suggest paid to the wounded; and our otherwise austere captain was as mild and kindly by the side of the victims as a nurse. James lay, for the most part, silent and in deep thought. When he did speak, it was of indifferent subjects; and, to my frequent inquiries how he felt his wounds, he replied, that they engaged not his thoughts further than that he feared he might recover.

"That I do not wish," said he. "It is long since I received the wound that is destined to prove mortal, independently of these disruptions of the flesh, which merely confine me to this sick-bed, and are come rather as a remedy. Elder, think not I am ungrateful for your kindness: I thank you from my heart. There is one favour you must promise to do me; and I feel assured I may trust you."

"Name it," answered I; "and if I should die in the attempt, I shall not fail to do all in my power to accomplish your smallest wish." He pressed my hand, which was grasped in his.

"Enough, Elder," said he; "all I request is easily done; yet I was not the less anxious to find one whom I could confide in. As soon as this oppressed heart ceases to beat, you must take this locket and ring"--and he uncovered his bosom, upon which they lay, besmeared with his blood. Smiling, he continued: "The blood is a proper envelope for them; and I am only so far happy that I was not killed out-right--for then they might have fallen into hands which would have done them no justice. These baubles and I must be forgotten together, whether I die here at sea, or survive until we reach Jamaica. You must, when I am to be consigned to my abode of peace and rest, place them where they lie at present. You will do this for me?"

I pressed his hand, for words were denied me. My tears fell upon his pale face, as I stooped to kiss his forehead; a sigh was all that passed between us; but our eyes told more than our lips could have uttered. I left him alone, to enjoy his own reflections, and went upon deck. In a few hours the surgeon's worst fears were realised; tetanus came on, and he died the following morning in my arms. I fulfilled his last request, and his body was launched into the restless ocean on the day before we reached Kingston. His man-of-war's name, as the seamen call it, when one--a different from their real one--is assumed for any reason that requires concealment, was James Walden, by which he was rated in the ship's books. Next day, when his effects, scanty as they were, were put up for sale, I bought a small prayer-book, which I had often seen him use, for less money than I have seen a few needles and a little thread bring at the mainmast. Amongst all that he possessed, there was not a single scrap of paper, or anything by which I could be led to guess who he was. On a blank page of the prayer-book there was written, in a small, beautiful female hand, "Matilda Everard;" but whether it was written by the individual he had once mentioned in his sleep, or some other, it was impossible to say.

We had spoken, on our return to Jamaica, several merchant vessels, so that the account of our action with the French frigate was before us. We were, accordingly, received as conquerors--the sailors complimented in the streets, and our officers invited to all entertainments. As for myself, I felt alone after the loss of my friend, and fretted a little at the news of peace not having been yet received. I had not yet called my father's political sagacity in question. It was now the month of September; our frigate was once more, if possible, in better trim than she was before the action; we had our water on board, and everything ready for sea to cruise amongst the French islands. All was joy and hope of prize-money. We were to have sailed next morning, when the accounts of Admiral Howe's glorious victory of the first of June arrived, when all became a scene of excitement and exultation. Salutes were fired; every vessel was hung with as many flags as she could muster, along her stays, from the bowsprit to the taffrail. Kingston was to be illuminated in the evening; and we requested leave, and were allowed, to have an illumination on board of our ship. My spirits recovered in some degree--every one was of opinion that the republicans of France never could recover the blow they had received--my father's prediction was verified--and I would soon be free, and at home. During the afternoon, which was as lovely as a warm day in Jamaica can be, all was bustle on board, each mess procuring candles, and each striving who could exhibit the greatest number. The ingenuity of one of our number was exercised on some empty barrels, which, with their bottoms pierced, filled with lights, and placed opposite the port-holes, shamed the bottles and candles of the others, and gave us the victory. Just before sundown, all was ready. As soon as all the candles were lit, every port was opened; and our little frigate and the other ships of war produced a sight truly beautiful--sitting upon the waters, which reflected the glare like glowing furnaces, and sending all around their so regular and intense beams. Meanwhile our decks were crowded with dancers, who, footing it away to the music of our fiddles, exhibited, in the strange mixture of white European and dark Kingston girls, all brought out in full relief by the lights, one of the most extraordinary scenes I had ever seen. At a late hour the lights were doused, and all was as still as death; and the late refulgent vessels floated a number of black masses under the moonbeams.

Next morning found us under weigh, and the Island of Jamaica sinking under our stern. I missed my friend sadly, having formed no new intimacy; for there was not one on board, in my estimation, to supply his place. He had formed my mind for higher enjoyments than could have been relished or shared with me by any of my shipmates; yet we had on board a mass of talent, in all its variety, debased, no doubt, by evil passions and low dissipation. There were, indeed, among us some rough but honest, unsophisticated children of nature; but they were like jewels dug from the mine, placed in a package with flints, and shaken on a rough road, losing by attrition their asperities, but taking no polish. A few, too, there were who had, with care, been bred by their parents for higher objects, but had sunk from their station, by vice and folly, even to a lower level than the standard of our crew. I had thus small choice, and fell back on the memory of the pleasures I had enjoyed in the conversation of my friend. We had been out from port about three weeks, without seeing anything save one or two of our merchant ships, and one from Liverpool bound for New York, with passengers, from the latter of which we impressed six stout young men, who were on their way for the New World. Such are the miseries of war, that liberty is invaded and all human ties severed by the necessity it engenders. The case of one of these young men was truly hard. He was on his way to New York, to take possession of some property left him by an uncle, who had died there the year before; and his intention was to remain and settle upon his late uncle's farm. A few days before he had left his native village, in Ayrshire, with a young woman whom he had long loved, and at last married. Their all had been expended in their passage money and outfit, but young hope, love, and joy, were the companions of their voyage, until our boat, under the command of our second lieutenant, appeared as the demon that was to put these to flight. The crew and passengers were mustered upon the deck, and many forced from their hiding-places, where they had stowed themselves away below among the cargo. George Wilson (for that was his name), fearful for his Jane, had remained by her side; he was ordered into the boat; his supplications were as nothing; and the tears and agonies of his young wife, if possible, less. It is a fact worthy of the consideration of the philosopher, that the actions of men, forced to perform an unpleasant duty, are often fretted into greater harshness by appeals to feeling. We were short of hands, and, goaded by necessity and duty, I verily believe that some who seized the youth more sharply when he was attempted to be taken from them by the female, would not have been slow to weep for her in other circumstances. There was another case not less cruel--that of an only son of a family, called Grant, who were emigrating, consisting of a father and mother, two sisters, and this young lad, their hope and stay. He too was ordered into the boat. I noticed the two as they came up the ship's side. It is seldom that human nature is exhibited under such circumstances of trial. Description, in such cases, is almost impertinent. It may be doubted if the young men themselves are then conscious of one-half of the evil that had befallen them: they were stupid with despair.

But I did not know what was awaiting myself. Some few days after this event, we were standing under easy sail, listlessly gazing over the immense expanse of waters, with all eyes sharp for a sail of some kind or other, to break the monotony of our listless life. The look-out from the mast-head sang out--

"Sail, ahoy!"

"Where away?" cried the officer on duty.

"Nor-west, on our lee-beam."

"Can you make her out?"

"Nay, sir; she is yet hull down; but she appears English rig, as her top-royals rise out of the water."

"Stretch every inch of canvas; haul taut," cried the officer.

And her bows were crowded by the anxious seamen. There was now an object to engage their attention, while the captain and officers kept their glasses steady in the direction pointed out. In a short time, the points of her masts and sails began to appear above the horizon, like black patches, where the bounding line between the ocean and sky terminates. We continued our progress for several hours, manifestly not making fast on her; yet we could see that her sails rose almost imperceptibly out of the water. She kept her distance so well that the captain became excited and piqued. The wind blew pretty fresh, and we were both on a wind. She was now made out to be either a privateer or a merchant vessel; but her superior sailing led strongly to the opinion that she was the former. Our deck guns were now run aft to raise our bows, and every effort that skill could put to account was tried. Still we gained but slowly upon her; and the afternoon was far advanced without our being satisfied of more than that she was an enemy; for she must have seen us for some hours, and our ensign was flying at our royal mast-head. Now great masses of gorgeously-coloured clouds began to gather around the brilliant luminary in the far west. It was close upon sundown, when the darkness almost immediately follows in the twilightless latitudes. The tall masts of the chase were between us and the brilliant scene, like a dark spirit crossing the path of heaven. The captain, striking the bulwarks of the quarterdeck with his hand, said aloud--

"I'd give a hundred guineas to have her within range of my long eighteens at this moment, or when I shall see your beams again in the morning." He looked to the broad disk of the sun, which was just sinking in the dense mass of resplendent clouds, while his last rays shot like long broad ribands over the edge of the highest, and undulated upon the long swell that was raised by the breeze, which covered its top with masses of white foam, resembling flocks at play in an immense meadow.

Anxious to obtain the last glance of this magnificent panorama, I had got upon the nettings in which the hammocks are stowed, and stood so long holding on by the mizzen-rattlins, absorbed in pleasing dreamy thoughts, not unmixed with regret, that it was quite dark before I was conscious of the change. My mind had again turned in upon itself, and the lovely harvest nights of my regretted home came before me, more chastened in their grandeur, but not the less lovely on that account. Wilson and Grant were conversing in whispers near the spot where I stood, talking of their blighted hopes, as if they felt that nature, in the grand aspect she now exhibited, looked lovely in mockery of their woes. We still held on as we had done through the afternoon--the surges rising and sprinkling our foredeck as we passed swiftly through the waters, urged on by an increasing gale. Weary of my position, I was in the act of descending to the deck, when, by some accident, I lost my hold, and fell overboard, striking against the dead-eyes, and wounding my tongue so severely in my fall that it was bit through. When I rose to the surface, stunned and confused, the water was hissing in my ears, and my mouth full of blood. I attempted to call out for help; but my efforts were vain. My tongue was unfit for its office; I only uttered unintelligible sounds, not to be distinguished amidst the noise of the waves. Still hope was strong in me, for I could hear the cries on deck, "A man overboard!" though I could distinguish no object in the darkness. The sounds became faint and more faint. The vessel's way was so great, she shot from the spot like a bird; and I could at intervals see the lights that they had hung out as I rose to the top of the waves, which I buffeted with all my energies. The frigate had evidently laid to. I strove to make for the lights. I saw, far astern, a boat had been lowered, and hope again braced my nerves. Could I have called out, I had been saved; for I heard their voices shouting for me, and even the plash of their oars; but I was dumb. My tongue had almost instantly swelled so as to fill my mouth; yet still I struggled amidst the waves to reach the source of the sounds. At that moment they could not have been many yards distant from me, if I could have judged from the distinctness with which I heard them call. At last they ceased for a few minutes, as if in consultation. Moment of horrid agony! I was in the grasp of inevitable death, and those who were anxious for my rescue were within hail, and that hail I could not utter. The struggle for life is not easily terminated, and my exertions were almost superhuman. A flash, and the report of a gun now fell on my ears, and it came as my doom; it was a signal for the boats to return. I felt as if my arms had become powerless. My heart failed, and I was sinking, when again the stroke of the oars revived me. Again I attempted to shout--vain effort! "Poor Elder!" I heard uttered by my shipmates, amidst the sweltering of the waves that were about to engulf me. The oar-dip gradually died away--and where was I?

Tired and exhausted, and almost suffocated by the water and blood that flowed from my tongue, I turned upon my back, but sunk deep in the water from the weight of my jacket and trousers, and thus floated at the will of the swell, that often almost turned me over. I attempted to pray, but could not collect my thoughts. All I could say was, "Lord be merciful to me--a sinner!" I almost felt as if already dead; for all energy had fled, both mental and bodily; and the little I did to place me on my back, when the surge turned me over, seemed the involuntary efforts of sinking nature. In this state I was aroused from my stupor by my coming in contact with a hard body. I stretched forth one of my hands, which had been crossed upon my breast, and grasped it with the energy of despair. It was a large hencoop, which had been thrown over in the hope that I might reach it until the boat arrived. New life began to revive in my heart. I got upon it; and, taking my silk neckerchief from my neck, which I fortunately had on when I fell, lashed myself to it. My thoughts now became, in some degree, collected, and a slight beam cheered the gloom of that fearful night, as I floated, a miserable speck of human nature, on that boundless, unfathomable waste of troubled waters. I thought that I was not forgot by my Creator, who had in his mercy sent me this assurance in my last extremity, frail as it was, to be the means of my deliverance. It was now that my whole soul poured forth in prayer; and tears, not of anguish, but of love and gratitude, flowed from my eyes, as I was drifted along before the wind, and tossed by the waves. Through that long and dreadful night, nothing but this pious feeling could have sustained me; for my limbs were benumbed and cramped; my tongue still almost filled my mouth, and pained me.