Chapter I: Front Matter

Wisdom While
You Wait

BEING A FORETASTE OF
THE GLORIES OF THE
‘INSIDECOMPLETUAR
BRITANNIAWARE’....

PRINTED FOR PRIVATE CIRCULATION
1902

Guten Morgan! Have you used PIERPONT’S SOAP?

=PIERPONT’S SOAP= defies Competition.
=PIERPONT’S SOAP= knocks spots off the Leopard.
=PIERPONT’S SOAP= lubricates the Universe.
=PIERPONT’S SOAP= makes a Lather of the Milky Way.
=PIERPONT’S SOAP= makes the Stars White.

_TESTIMONIAL._

MR. YERKES writes: ‘What a Soap!’

* * * * *

DR. BILL’S PALE PILLS for PINK PEOPLE

_TESTIMONIALS._

‘Before I tried Dr. Bill’s remedy I lived in Reading; now I live in the Isle of White.’

‘Before taking your Pills I could never write a testimonial without blushing. Now I can write fifty a day without changing colour.’--THE BARONESS ROUGEMONT.

PALE PILLS for PINK PEOPLE

YOU are old, Father Thunderer, old and austere;
Where learnt you such juvenile capers?’
‘It’s part of the Yankee Invasion, my dear,
To galvanise threepenny papers.’

The Editors.

WILLIAM HOHENZOLLERN.
MR. C. F. MOBERLY BELL.
MESSRS. WOOLLAND, BROS.
MR. WILLIAM WHITELEY.
MR. DANIEL LENO.
MESSRS. DERRY & TOMS.
MESSRS. SALMON & GLUCKSTEIN.
MR. ALFRED HARMSWORTH.
BISHOP WELLDON.
DR. GARNETT.
SIR GEORGE NEWNES.
DATAS.

American Editors.

MR. JOHN A. WANAMAKER.
BUFFALO BILL.
MR. DOOLEY.
MRS. EDDY.
MAJOR POND.

Departmental Editors.

FOR OBITUARIES--
Professor Algernon Ashton.

FOR NAPOLEON--
Count Balmain Harmsworth.

FOR TOBACCO--
Dr. Barrie.

FOR TRUSTS--
Mr. Pierpont Morgan.

FOR PHILANTHROPY--
Lady Warwick.

FOR OOLOGY--
Dr. Robertson Nicoll.

FOR MUSIC--
Mr. J. P. Sousa.

FOR DRAMA--
Messrs. Klaw and Erlanger.

FOR EFFICIENCY--
Mr. Arnold White.

FOR DRESS--
Lady Harberton.

FOR MEDICINE--Dr. Williams.

Female Associate Editors.

MRS. KENDAL.
MRS. ARIA.
MADAME SARAH GRAND.
KATE REILY.
LADY JEUNE.
MISS LOUIE FREEAR.
MISS MARIE CORELLI.

Sub-Editors.

THERE ARE TWENTY OF THESE.

Sub-Sub-Editors.

THERE ARE TWENTY OF THESE TOO.

Circular Addresser.

THE EDITOR OF ‘THE SPHERE.’