Chapter I: Part 1

Yorkshire Ditties

by

John Hartley Born 1839 Died 1915

to which is added the Cream of Wit and Humour from his popular writings.

First Series

London W. Nicholson & Sons, Limited, 26, Paternoster Square, E.C
and Albion Works, Wakefield.

[entered at stationers' hall]

Introduction

As the First Volume of the Yorkshire Ditties has been for some time out of print, and as there is a great demand for the very humorous productions of Mr. Hartley's pen, it has been decided to reprint that Volume, and also a Second One; both to be considerably enlarged and enriched by Selections from Mr. Hartley's other humorous writings.

The Publishers would also intimate that for this purpose they have purchased of Mr. Hartley the copyright of the DITTIES, and other Pieces appended to each Volume.

The Publishers presume that both Volumes will, on account of their great humour, be favourably received by the Public.

CONTENTS OF FIRST SERIES.

Poetry.

Bite Bigger
To th' Swallow
Plenty o' Brass
Th' Little Stranger
Babby Burds
Wayvin Mewsic
That's a Fact
Stop at Hooam
The Short Timer
Th' First o'th' Soart
Lines, on Finding a Butterfly in a Weaving Shed
Uncle Ben
The New Year's Resolve
The Old Bachelor's Story
Aght o' Wark
Another Babby
The Little Black Hand
Lily's Gooan
My Native Twang
Shoo's thi' Sister
Persevere
To a Roadside Flower

Prose Pieces. Cream of Wit and Humour from his popular writings

The New Year
Valentine Day
March Winds
April Fooils
Policeman's Scrape
Information
Watterin' Places
Flaar Shows
October Ale
Force of Example
Gunpaader Plot
Th' Last Month
Meditated Strike
New Year's Parties
Smiles, Tears, Getting on
Mysterious Disappearance
Sam it up
Fooils
Cleanin' Daan Month
Hay-making
Hollingworth Lake
Plagues
End o'th' Year
Scientific
Valentine Dream

Bite Bigger

As aw hurried throo th' taan to mi wark,
(Aw wur lat, for all th' whistles had gooan,)
Aw happen'd to hear a remark,
'At ud fotch tears throo th' heart ov a stooan--
It wur raanin, an' snawin, and cowd,
An' th' flagstoans wur covered wi' muck,
An' th' east wind booath whistled an' howl'd,
It saanded like nowt but ill luck;
When two little lads, donn'd i' rags,
Baght stockins or shoes o' ther feet,
Coom trapesin away ower th' flags,
Booath on 'em sodden'd wi th' weet.--
Th' owdest mud happen be ten,
Th' young en be hauf on't,--noa moor;
As aw luk'd on, aw sed to misen,
God help fowk this weather 'at's poor!
Th' big en sam'd summat off th' graand,
An' aw luk'd just to see what 't could be;
'Twur a few wizend flaars he'd faand,
An' they seem'd to ha fill'd him wi glee:
An' he sed, "Come on, Billy, may be
We shall find summat else by an by,
An' if net, tha mun share thease wi me
When we get to some spot where its dry."
Leet-hearted they trotted away,
An' aw follow'd, coss 'twur i' mi rooad;
But aw thowt awd nee'er seen sich a day--
It worn't fit ta be aght for a tooad.
Sooin th' big en agean slipt away,
An' sam'd summat else aght o'th' muck,
An' he cried aght, "Luk here, Bill! to-day
Arn't we blest wi' a seet o' gooid luck?
Here's a apple! an' th' mooast on it's saand:
What's rotten aw'll throw into th' street--
Worn't it gooid to ligg thear to be faand?
Nah booath on us con have a treat."
Soa he wiped it, an' rubb'd it, an' then
Sed, Billy, "thee bite off a bit;
If tha hasn't been lucky thisen
Tha shall share wi' me sich as aw get."
Soa th' little en bate off a touch,
T'other's face beamed wi' pleasur all throo,
An' he said, "Nay, tha hasn't taen much,
Bite agean, an' bite bigger; nah do!"
Aw waited to hear nowt noa moor,--
Thinks aw, thear's a lesson for me!
Tha's a heart i' thi breast, if tha'rt poor:
Th' world wur richer wi' moor sich as thee!
Tuppince wur all th' brass aw had,
An' awd ment it for ale when coom nooin,
But aw thowt aw'll goa give it yond lad,
He desarves it for what he's been dooin;
Soa aw sed, "Lad, here's tuppince for thee,
For thi sen,"--an' they stared like two geese,
But he sed, woll th' tear stood in his e'e,
"Nah, it'll just be a penny a piece."
"God bless thi! do just as tha will,
An' may better days speedily come;
Tho' clam'd, an' hauf donn'd, mi lad, still
Tha'rt a deal nearer Heaven nur some."

To th' Swallow

Bonny burd! aw'm fain to see thee,
For tha tells ov breeter weather;
But aw connot quite forgi thee,
Connot love thee altogether.

'Tisn't thee aw fondly welcome--
'Tis the cheerin news tha brings,
Tellin us fine weather will come,
When we see thi dappled wings.

But aw'd rayther have a sparrow,
Rayther hear a robin twitter;
Tho' they may net be thi marrow,
May net fly wi' sich a glitter;

But they niver leeav us, niver--
Storms may come, but still they stay;
But th' first wind 'at ma's thee shiver,
Up tha mounts an' flies away.

Ther's too mony like thee, swallow,
'At when fortun's sun shines breet,
Like a silly buzzard follow,
Doncin raand a bit o' leet.

But ther's few like Robin redbreast,
Cling throo days o' gloom an' care;
Soa aw love mi old tried friends best--
Fickle hearts aw'll freely spare.

Plenty o' Brass

A'a! it's grand to ha' plenty o' brass!
It's grand to be able to spend
A trifle sometimes on a glass
For yorsen, or sometimes for a friend
To be able to bury yor neive
Up to th' shackle i' silver an' gowd
An', 'baght pinchin', be able to save
A wee bit for th' time when yor owd.

A'a! it's grand to ha', plenty o' brass!
To be able to set daan yor fooit
Withaght ivver thinkin'--bith' mass!
'At yor wearin' soa mitch off yor booit;
To be able to walk along th' street,
An' stand at shop windows to stare,
An' net ha' to beat a retreat
If yo' scent a "bum bailey" i' th' air.

A'a I it's grand to ha' plenty o' brass!
To be able to goa hoam at neet,
An' sit i'th' arm-cheer bith' owd lass,
An' want nawther foir nor leet;
To tak' th' childer a paper o' spice,
Or a pictur' to hing up o' th' wall;
Or a taste ov a summat 'at's nice
For yor friends, if they happen to call.

A'a! it's grand to ha' plenty o' brass!
Then th' parsons'll know where yo' live:
If yo'r' poor, it's mooast likely they'll pass,
An' call where fowk's summat to give.
Yo' may have a trifle o' sense,
An' yo' may be both upright an' true
But that's nowt, if yo' can't stand th' expense
Ov a hoal or a pairt ov a pew.

A'a! it's grand to ha' plenty o' brass!
An' to them fowk at's getten a hoard,
This world seems as smooth as a glass,
An' ther's flaars o' boath sides o'th' road;
But him 'at's as poor as a maase,
Or, happen, a little i' debt,
He mun point his noas up to th' big haase,
An' be thankful for what he can get.

A'a! it's grand to ha' plenty o' chink!
But doan't let it harden yor heart:
Yo' 'at's blessed wi' abundance should think
An' try ta do gooid wi' a part!
An' then, as yor totterin' daan,
An' th' last grains o' sand are i'th glass,
Yo' may find 'at yo've purchased a craan
Wi' makkin gooid use o' yor brass.

Th' Little Stranger

Little bonny, bonny babby,
How tha stares, an' weel tha may,
For its but an haar, or hardly,
Sin' tha furst saw th' leet o' day.

A'a! tha little knows, young moppet, Ha aw'st have to tew for thee; May be when aw'm forced to drop it, 'At tha'll do a bit for me.

Are ta maddled, mun, amang it? Does ta wonder what aw mean? Aw should think tha does, but dang it! Where's ta been to leearn to scream?

That's noa sooart o' mewsic, bless thee! Dunnot peawt thi lip like that! Mun, aw hardly dar to nurse thee, Feared awst hurt thee, little brat.

Come, aw'll tak thee to thi mother; Shoo's moor used to sich nor me: Hands like mine worn't made to bother Wi sich ginger-breead as thee.

Innocent an' helpless craytur, All soa pure an' undefiled! If ther's ought belangs to heaven Lives o'th' eearth, it is a child.

An its hard to think, 'at some day, If tha'rt spared to weather throo, 'At tha'll be a man, an' someway Have to feight life's battles too.

Kings an' Queens, an' lords an' ladies, Once wor nowt noa moor to see; An' th' warst wretch 'at hung o'th' gallows, Once wor born as pure as thee.

An' what tha at last may come to, God aboon us all can tell; But aw hope 'at tha'll be lucky, Even tho aw fail mysel.

Do aw ooin thee? its a pity! Hush! nah prathi dunnot freat! Goa an' snoozle to thi titty Tha'rt too young for trouble yet.

Babby Burds

Aw wander'd aght one summer's morn, Across a meadow newly shorn; Th' sun wor shinin' breet and clear, An' fragrant scents rose up i'th' air, An' all wor still. When, as my steps wor idly rovin, Aw coom upon a seet soa lovin! It fill'd mi heart wi' tender feelin, As daan aw sank beside it, kneelin O'th' edge o'th' hill.

It wor a little skylark's nest, An' two young babby burds, undrest, Wor gapin wi' ther beaks soa wide, Callin' for mammy to provide Ther mornin's meal; An' high aboon ther little hooam, Th' saand o' daddy's warblin coom, Ringin' soa sweetly o' mi ear, Like breathins thro' a purer sphere, He sang soa weel.

Ther mammy, a few yards away, Wor hoppin' on a bit o' hay, Too feard to come, too bold to flee; An' watchin me wi' troubled e'e, Shoo seem'd to say: "Dooant touch my bonny babs, young man! Ther daddy does the best he can To cheer yo with his sweetest song; An' thoase 'll sing as weel, ere long, Soa let 'em stay."

"Tha needn't think aw'd do 'em harm-- Come shelter 'em and keep 'em warm! For aw've a little nest misel, An' two young babs, aw'm praad to tell, 'At's precious too; An' they've a mammy watching thear, 'At howds them little ens as dear, An' dearer still, if that can be, Nor what thease youngens are to thee, Soa come,--nah do!

"A'a well!--tha'rt shy, tha hops away,-- Tha doesn't trust a word aw say; Tha thinks aw'm here to rob an' plunder, An' aw confess aw dunnot wonder-- But tha's noa need; Aw'll leave yo to yorsels,--gooid bye! For nah aw see yor daddy's nigh; He's dropt that strain soa sweet and strong; He loves yo better nor his song-- He does indeed."

Aw walk'd away, and sooin mi ear Caught up the saand o' warblin clear; Thinks aw, they're happy once agean; Aw'm glad aw didn't prove so mean To rob that nest; For they're contented wi ther lot, Nor envied me mi little cot; An' in this world, as we goa throo, It is'nt mich gooid we can do, An' do awr best.

Then let us do as little wrong To ony as we pass along, An' never seek a joy to gain At's purchased wi another's pain, It isn't reet. Aw shall goa hooam wi' leeter heart, To mend awr Johnny's little cart: (He allus finds me wark enough To piecen up his brocken stuff, For every neet.)

An' Sally--a'a! if yo could see her! When aw sit daan to get mi teah, Shoo puts her dolly o' mi knee, An' maks me sing it "Hush a bee," I'th' rocking chear; Then begs some sugar for it too; What it can't ait shoo tries to do; An' turnin up her cunnin e'e,, Shoo rubs th' doll maath, an says, "yo see, It gets its share.",

Sometimes aw'm rayther cross? aw fear! Then starts a little tremblin tear, 'At, like a drop o' glitt'rin dew Swimmin within a wild flaar blue, Falls fro ther e'e; But as the sun in April shaars Revives the little droopin flaars, A kind word brings ther sweet smile back: Aw raylee think mi brain ud crack If they'd ta dee.

Then if aw love my bairns soa weel, May net a skylark's bosom feel As mich consarn for th' little things 'At snooze i'th' shelter which her wings Soa weel affoards? If fowk wod nobbut bear i' mind How mich is gained by bein' kind, Ther's fewer breasts wi' grief ud swell, An' fewer fowk ud thoughtless mell Even o'th' burds.

Wayvin Mewsic

Ther's mewsic i'th' shuttle, i'th' loom, an i'th frame, Ther's melody mingled i'th' noise, For th' active ther's praises, for th' idle ther's blame, If they'd hearken to th' saand of its voice; An' when flaggin a bit, ha refreshin to feel As yo pause an luk raand on the throng, At the clank o' the tappet, the hum o' the wheel, Sing this plain unmistakable song:-- Nick a ting, nock a ting; Wages keep pocketing; Workin for little is better nor laiking; Twist an' twine, reel an' wind; Keep a contented mind; Troubles are oft ov a body's own making.

To see workin fowk wi' a smile o' ther face As they labor thear day after day; An' hear 'th women's voices float sweetly throo 'th place, As they join i' some favorite lay; It saands amang th' din, as the violet seems 'At peeps aght th' green dockens among, An' spreading a charm over th' rest by its means, Thus it blends i' that steady old song; Nick a ting, nock a ting; Wages keep pocketing; Workin for little is better nor laiking; Twist an' twine, reel an' wind; Keep a contented mind; Troubles are oft ov a body's own making.

An' then see what lessons are laid out anent us, As pick after pick follows time after time, An' warns us tho' silent, to let nowt prevent us From strivin by little endeavours to climb; Th' world's made o' trifles! its dust forms a mountain! Then niver despair as you're trudgin along; If troubles will come an' yor spirits dishearten, Yo'll find ther's relief i' that steady old song; Nick a ting, nock a ting; Wages keep pocketing; Working for little is better nor laiking; Twist an' twine, reel an' wind; Keep a contented mind; Troubles are oft ov a body's own making.

Life's warp comes throo Heaven, th' weft's fun bi us sen; To finish a piece we're compell'd to ha booath. Th' warp's reight, but if th' weft should be faulty--ha then? Noa wayver i' th' world can produce a gooid clooath; Then let us endeavour, bi working and striving, To finish awr piece soa's noa fault can be fun; An' then i' return for awr pains an contriving, Th' takker in 'll reward us an' whisper' well done.' Clink a clank, clink a clank, Workin withaat a thank, May be awr fortun--if soa never mind it! Striving to do awr best, We shall be reight at last, If we lack comfort nah, then shall we find it.

That's a Fact

A'a Mary aw'm glad 'at that's thee! Aw need thy advice, lass, aw'm sure; Aw'm all ov a mooild tha can see, Aw wor never i' this way afoor, Aw've net slept a wink all th' neet throo; Aw've been twirling abaght like a worm, An' th' blankets gate felter'd, lass, too-- Tha niver saw cloas i' sich form. Aw'll tell thee what 't all wor abaght-- But promise tha'll keep it reight squat, For aw wodn't for th' world let it aght; But aw can't keep it in--tha knows that. We'd a meetin at the schooil yesterneet, An' Jimmy wor thear,--tha's seen Jim? An' he hutch'd cloise to me in a bit, To ax me for th' number o'th' hymn; Aw thowt 't wor a gaumless trick, For he heeard it geen aght th' same as me; An' he just did th' same thing tother wick,-- It made fowk tak noatice, dos't see. An' when aw wor gooin towards hooam Aw heeard som'dy comin behund: 'Twor pitch dark, an' aw thowt if they coom, Aw should varry near sink into th' graund. Aw knew it wor Jim bi his traid, An' aw tried to get aght ov his gate; But a'a! tha minds, lass, aw wor flaid, Aw wor niver i' sich en a state. Then aw felt som'dy's arm raand my shawl, An' aw said, "nah, leave loise or aw'll screeam! Can't ta let daycent lasses alooan, Consarn thi up! what does ta mean?" But he stuck to mi arm like a leach, An' he whispered a word i' mi ear; It took booath my breeath an' my speech, For aw'm varry sooin thrown aght o' gear. Then he squeezed me cloise up to his sel, An' he kussed me, i' spite o' mi teeth: Aw says, "Jimmy, forshame o' thisel!" As sooin as aw'd getten mi breeath: But he wodn't be quiet, for he said 'At he'd loved me soa true an' soa long-- Aw'd ha' geen a ear off my yed To get loise--but tha knows he's so a strong-- Then he tell'd me he wanted a wife, An' he begged 'at aw wodn't say nay;-- Aw'd ne'er heeard sich a tale i' mi life, Aw wor fesen'd whativer to say; Cos tha knows aw've a likin' for Jim; But yo can't allus say what yo mean, For aw tremeld i' ivery limb, But at last aw began to give way, For, raylee, he made sich a fuss, An aw kussed him an' all--for they say, Ther's nowt costs mich less nor a kuss. Then he left me at th' end o' awr street, An' aw've felt like a fooil all th' neet throo; But if aw should see him to neet, What wod ta advise me to do? But dooant spaik a word--tha's noa need, For aw've made up mi mind ha to act, For he's th' grandest lad iver aw seed, An' aw like him th' best too--that's a fact!

Stop at Hooam

"Tha wodn't goa an leave me, Jim,
All lonely by mysel?
My een at th' varry thowts grow dim--
Aw connot say farewell.

Tha vow'd tha couldn't live unless
Tha saw me every day,
An' said tha knew noa happiness
When aw wor foorced a way.

An th' tales tha towld, I know full weel,
Wor true as gospel then;
What is it, lad, 'at ma's thee feel
Soa strange--unlike thisen?

Ther's raam enuff, aw think tha'll find,
I'th taan whear tha wor born,
To mak a livin, if tha'll mind
To ha' faith i' to-morn.

Aw've mony a time goan to mi wark
Throo claads o' rain and sleet;
All's seem'd soa dull, soa drear, an' dark,
It ommust mud be neet.

But then, when braikfast time's come raand,
Aw've seen th' sun's cheerin ray,
An' th' heavy lukkin claads have slunk
Like skulkin lads away.

An' then bi nooin it's shooan soa breet
Aw've sowt some shade to rest,
An' as aw've paddled hooam at neet,
Glorious it's sunk i'th west.

An' tho' a claad hangs ovver thee,
(An' trouble's hard to bide),
Have patience, lad, an' wait an' see
What's hid o'th' tother side.

If aw wor free to please mi mind,
Aw'st niver mak this stur;
But aw've a mother ommust blind,
What mud become o' her?

Tha knows shoo cared for me, when waik
An' helpless ivery limb,
Aw'm feeard her poor owd heart ud braik
If aw'd to leave her, Jim.

Aw like to hear thee talk o' th' trees
'At tower up to th' sky,
An' th' burds 'at flutterin i'th' breeze,
Lie glitterin' jewels fly.

Woll th' music of a shepherd's reed
May gently float along,
Lendin its tender notes to lead
Some fair maid's simple song;

An' flaars 'at grow o' ivery side,
Such as we niver see;
But here at hooam, at ivery stride,
There's flaars for thee an' me.

Aw care net for ther suns soa breet,
Nor warblin melody;
Th' clink o' thi clogs o' th' flags at neet
Saands sweeter, lad, to me.

An' tho' aw wear a gingham gaan,
A claat is noa disgrace;
Tha'll niver find a heart moor warm
Beat under silk or lace.

Then settle daan, tak my advice,
Give up this wish to rooam!
An' if tha luks, tha'll find lots nice
Worth stoppin' for at hooam."

"God bless thee, Jenny! dry that e'e,
An' gi'e us howd thi hand!
For words like thoase, throo sich as thee,
What mortal could withstand!

It isn't mich o'th' world aw know,
But aw con truly say,
A faithful heart's too rich to throw
Withaat a thowt away.

So here aw'll stay, and should fate fraan,
Aw'll tew for thine and thee,
An' seek for comfort when cast daan,
I'th' sunleet o' thi e'e."

The Short-Timer

Some poets sing o' gipsy queens,
An' some o' ladies fine;
Aw'll sing a song o' other scenes,
A humbler muse is mine:
Jewels, an' gold, an' silken frills,
Are things too heigh for me,
But woll mi harp wi' vigour thrills,
Aw'll strike a chord for thee.
Poor lassie wan,
Do th' best tha can,
Although thi fate be hard;
A time ther'll be
When sich as thee
Shall have yor full reward.

At hauf-past five tha leaves thi bed,
An' off tha goes to wark;
An' gropes thi way to mill or shed,
Six months o'th' year i'th' dark.
Tha gets but little for thi pains,
But that's noa fault o' thine;
Thi maister reckons up his gains,
An' ligs i' bed till nine.
Poor lassie wan, &c.

He's little childer ov his own
'At's quite as old as thee;
They ride i' cushioned carriages
'At's beautiful to see;
They'd fear to spoil ther little hand,
To touch thy greasy brat:
It's wark like thine 'as maks 'em grand
They niver think o' that.
Poor lassie wan, &c.

I' summer time they romp an' play
Where flowers grow wild and sweet;
Ther bodies strong, ther spirits gay,
They thrive throo morn to neet.
But tha's a cough, aw hear tha has;
An' oft aw've known thee sick;
But tha mun work, poor little lass,
For hauf-a-craan a wick.
Poor lassie wan, &c.

Aw envy net fowks' better lot--
Aw should'nt like to swap.
Aw'm quite contented wi'mi cot;
Aw'm but a warkin chap.
But if aw had a lot o' brass
Aw'd think o' them 'at's poor;
Aw'd have yo' childer workin' less,
An' mak yor wages moor.
Poor lassie wan, &c.

"There is a land of pure delight,
Where saints immortal reign,
Infinite day excludes the night,
And pleasures banish pain."
Noa fact'ry bell shall greet thi ear,
I' that sweet home ov love;
An' those 'at scorn thi sufferins here
May envy thee above.
Poor lassie wan, &c.

Th' First o'th Sooart

Aw heeard a funny tale last neet-- Aw could'nt howd fro' laffin-- 'Twor at th' Bull's Heead we chonced to meet, An' spent an haar i' chaffin. Some sang a song, some cracked a joak, An' all seem'd full o' larkin; An' th' raam war blue wi' bacca smook, An' ivery e'e'd a spark in.

Long Joa 'at comes thro th' Jumples cluff, Wor gettin rayther mazy; An' Warkus Ned had supped enuff To turn they're Betty crazy;-- An Bob at lives at th' Bogeggs farm, Wi' Nan throo th' Buttress Bottom, Wor treating her to summat wanm, (It's just his way,--"odd drot em!")

An' Jack o'th' Slade wor theear as weel, An' Joa o' Abe's throo Waerley; An' Lijah off o'th' Lavver Hill, Wor passing th' ale raand rarely.-- Throo raand and square they seem'd to meet, To hear or tell a stoory; But th' gem o' all aw heard last neet Wor one bi Dooad o'th' gloory.

He bet his booits 'at it wor true, An' all seem'd to believe him; Tho' if he'd lost he need'nt rue-- But 't wodn't ha done to grieve him His uncle lived i' Pudsey taan, An' practised local praichin; An' if he 're lucky, he wor baan To start a schooil for taichin.

But he wor takken varry ill; He felt his time wor comin: (They say he brought it on hissel Wi' studdyin his summin.) He call'd his wife an' neighbors in To hear his deein sarmon, An' tell'd 'em if they liv'd i' sin Ther lot ud be a warm en.

Then turin raand unto his wife, Said--"Mal, tha knows, owd craytur, If awd been bless'd wi' longer life, Aw might ha' left things straighter. Joa Sooitill owes me eighteen pence-- Aw lent it him last lovefeast." Says Mal--"He has'nt lost his sense-- Thank God for that at least!"

"An Ben o'th' top o'th' bank tha knows, We owe him one paand ten.".-- "Just hark!" says Mally, "there he goas! He's ramellin agean! Dooant tak a bit o' noatice, fowk! Yo see, poor thing, he's ravin! It cuts me up to hear sich talk-- He spent his life i' savin!

"An, Mally, lass," he said agean, "Tak heed o' my direction: Th' schooil owes us hauf a craan--aw mean My share o'th' last collection.-- Tha'll see to that, an have what's fair When my poor life is past."-- Says Mally, "listen, aw declare, He's sensible to th' last."

He shut his een an' sank to rest-- Deeath seldom claimed a better: They put him by,--but what wor th' best, He sent 'em back a letter, To tell 'em all ha he'd gooan on; An' ha he gate to enter; An' gave 'em rules to act upon If ever they should ventur.

Theear Peter stood wi' keys i' hand: Says he, "What do you want, sir? If to goa in--yo understand Unknown to me yo can't sir.-- Pray what's your name? where are yo throo? Just make your business clear." Says he, "They call me Parson Drew, Aw've come throo Pudsey here."

"You've come throo Pudsey, do you say? Doant try sich jokes o' me, sir; Aw've kept thease doors too long a day, Aw can't be fooiled bi thee, sir." Says Drew, "aw wodn't tell a lie, For th' sake o' all ther's in it: If yo've a map o' England by, Aw'll show yo in a minit."

Soa Peter gate a time-table-- They gloored o'er th' map together: Drew did all at he wor able, But could'nt find a stiver. At last says he, "Thear's Leeds Taan Hall, An thear stands Braforth mission: It's just between them two--that's all: Your map's an old edition.

But thear it is, aw'll lay a craan, An' if yo've niver known it, Yo've miss'd a bonny Yorksher taan, Tho mony be 'at scorn it." He oppen'd th' gate,--says he, "It's time Some body coom--aw'll trust thee. Tha'll find inside noa friends o' thine-- Tha'rt th' furst 'at's come throo Pudsey."

Lines, on finding a butterfly in a weaving shed.

Nay surelee tha's made a mistak;
Tha'rt aght o' thi element here;
Tha may weel goa an' peark up oth' thack,
Thi bonny wings shakin wi fear.

Aw should think 'at theease rattlin looms
Saand queer sooart o' music to thee;
An' tha'll hardly quite relish th' perfumes
O' miln-grease,--what th' quality be.

Maybe' tha'rt disgusted wi' us,
An' thinks we're a low offald set
But tha'rt sadly mistaen if tha does,
For ther's hooap an' ther's pride in us yet.

Tha wor nobbut a worm once thisen,
An' as humble as humble could be;
An' tho we nah are like tha wor then,
We may yet be as nobby as thee.

Tha'd to see thi own livin when young,
An' when tha grew up tha'd to spin;
An' if labor like that worn't wrong,
Tha con hardly call wayvin 'a sin.'

But tha longs to be off aw con tell;
For tha shows 'at tha ar'nt content:
Soa aw'll oppen thee th' window--farewell!
Off tha goas, bonny fly!--An' it went.

Uncle Ben

A gradely chap wor uncle Ben
As iver lived ith' fowd:
He made a fortun for hissen,
An' lived on't when he'r owd.
His yed wor like a snow drift,
An' his face wor red an' breet,
An' his heart wor like a feather,
For he did the thing 'at's reet.

He wore th' same suit o' fustian clooas
He'd worn sin aw wor bred;
An' th' same owd booits, wi' cappel'd tooas,
An' th' same hat for his yed;
His cot wor lowly, yet he'd sing
Throo braik o' day till neet;
His conscience niver felt a sting,
For he did the thing 'at's reet.

He wod'nt swap his humble state
Wi' th' grandest fowk i' th' land;
He niver wanted silver plate,
Nor owt 'at's rich and grand;
He did'nt sleep wi' curtained silk
Drawn raand him ov a neet,
But he slept noa war for th' want o' that,
For he'd done the thing 'at's reet.

Owd fowk called him "awr Benny,"
Young fowk, "mi uncle Ben,"--
An' th' childer, "gronfather," or "dad,"
Or what best pleased thersen.
A gleam o' joy coom o'er his face
When he heeard ther patterin feet,
For he loved to laik wi' th' little bairns
An' he did the thing 'at's reet.

He niver turned poor fowk away
Uncared for throo his door;
He ne'er forgate ther wor a day
When he hissen wor poor;
An' mony a face has turned to Heaven,
All glistenin wi' weet,
An' prayed for blessins on owd Ben,
For he did th' thing 'at's reet.

He knew his lease wor ommost spent,
He'd sooin be called away;
Yet he wor happy an' content,
An' waited th' comin day;
But one dark neet he shut his e'en,
An' slept soa calm an' sweet,
when mornin coom, th' world held one less,
'At did the thing 'at's reet.

The New Year's Resolve

Says Dick, "ther's a' notion sprung up i' mi yed,
For th' furst time i' th' whole coorse o' mi life,
An' aw've takken a fancy aw'st like to be wed,
If aw knew who to get for a wife.

Aw dooant want a woman wi' beauty, nor brass,
For aw've nawther to booast on misel;
What aw want is a warm-hearted, hard-workin' lass,
An' ther's lots to be fun, aw've heeard tell.

To be single is all weel enuf nah an' then,
But it's awk'ard when th' weshin' day comes;
For aw nivver think sooapsuds agree weel wi' men;
They turn all mi ten fingers to thumbs.

An' awm sure it's a fact, long afoor aw get done,
Aw'm slopt throo mi waist to mi fit;
An' th' floor's in' a pond, as if th' peggy-tub run,
An' mi back warks as if it 'ud split.

Aw fancied aw'st manage at breead-bakin' best;
Soa one day aw bethowt me to try,
But aw gate soa flustered, aw ne'er thowt o'th' yeast,
Soa aw mud as weel offered to fly.

Aw did mak a dumplin', but a'a! dear a me!
Abaght that lot aw hardly dar think;
Aw ne'er fan th' mistak' till aw missed th' sooap, yo see,
An' saw th' suet i'th' sooap-box o'th' sink.

But a new-year's just startin', an' soa aw declare
Aw'll be wed if a wife's to be had;
For mi clooas is soa ragg'd woll aw'm ommost hauf bare,
An' thease mullucks, they're drivin' me mad.

Soa, if yo should know, or should chonce to hear tell,
Ov a lass 'at to wed is inclined,
Talegraft me at once, an' aw'll see her misel
Afoor shoo can alter her mind."

The Old Bachelor's Story

It was an humble cottage,
Snug in a rustic lane,
Geraniums and fuschias peep'd
From every window-pane;

The dark-leaved ivy dressed its walls,
Houseleek adorned the thatch;
The door was standing open wide,
They had no need of latch.

And close besides the corner
There stood an old stone well,
Which caught a mimic waterfall,
That warbled as it fell.

The cat, crouched on the well-worn steps,
Was blinking in the sun;
The birds sang out a welcome
To the morning just begun.

An air of peace and happiness
Pervaded all the scene;
The tall trees formed a back ground
Of rich and varied green;

And all was steeped in quietness,
Save nature's music wild,
When all at once, methought I heard
The sobbing of a child.--

I listened, and the sound again
Smote clearly on my ear:
"Can there,"--I wondering asked myself--
"Can there be sorrow here?"--

I looked within, and on the floor
Was sat a little boy,
Striving to soothe his sister's grief
By giving her a toy.

"Why weeps your sister thus?" I asked;
"What is her cause of grief?
Come tell me, little man," I said,
"Come tell me, and be brief."

Clasping his sister closer still,
He kissed her tear-stained face,
And thus, in homely Yorkshire phrase,
He told their mournful case.

------

"Mi mammy, sir, shoos liggin thear,
I' th' shut-up bed i' th' nook;
An' tho aw've tried to wakken her,
Shoo'll nawther spaik nor look.

Mi sissy wants her poridge,
An' its time shoo had em too,
But th' foir's gooan aght an' th' mail's all done--
Aw dooant know what to do.

An' O, my mammy's varry cold--
Just come an' touch her arm:
Aw've done mi best to hap her up,
But connot mak her warm.

Mi daddy he once fell asleep,
An' niver wakken'd moor:
Aw saw 'em put him in a box,
An' tak him aght o' th' door.

He niver comes to see us nah,
As once he used to do,
An' let'mi ride upon his back--
Me, an' mi sissy too.

An' if they know mi mammy sleeps,
Soa cold, an' white, an' still,
Aw'm feeard they'll come an' fotch her, sir;
O, sir, aw'm feard they will!

Aw happen could get on misen,
For aw con work a bit,
But little sissy, sir, yo see,
Shoo's' varra young as yet.

Oh! dunnot let fowk tak mi mam!
Help me to rouse her up!
An' if shoo wants her physic,
See,--it's in this little cup.

Aw know her heead war bad last neet,
When putting us to bed;
Shoo said, 'God bless yo, little things!'
An' that wor all shoo said.

Aw saw a tear wor in her e'e--
In fact, it's seldom dry:
Sin daddy went shoo allus cries,
But niver tells us why.

Aw think it's coss he isn't here,
'At maks her e'en soa dim;
Shoo says, he'll niver come to us,
But we may goa to him.

But if shoo's gooan an' left us here,
What mun we do or say?--
We cannot follow her unless,
Somebody 'll show us th' way."

----

My heart was full to bursting,
When I heard the woeful tale;
I gazed a moment on the face
Which death had left so pale;

Then clasping to my heaving breast
The little orphan pair,
I sank upon my bended knees,
And offered up a prayer,

That God would give me power to aid
Those children in distress,
That I might as a father be
Unto the fatherless.

Then coaxingly I led them forth;
And as the road was long,
I bore them in my arms by turns--
Their tears had made me strong.

I took them to my humble home,
Where now they may be seen,
The lad,--a noble-minded youth,--
His "sissy,"--beauty's queen.

And now if you should chance to see,
Far from the bustling throng,
An old man, whom a youth and maid
Lead tenderly along;--

And if you, wondering, long to know
The history of the three,--
They are the little orphan pair--
The poor old man is me:

And on the little grassy mound
'Neath which their parents sleep,
They bend the knee, and pray for me;
I pray for them and weep.

Aght o' Wark

Aw've been laikin for ommost eight wick,
An' aw can't get a day's wark to do!
Aw've trailed abaght th' streets wol awm sick
An' aw've worn mi clog-soils ommost through.

Aw've a wife an' three childer at hooam,
An' aw know they're all lukkin at th' clock,
For they think it's high time aw should come,
An' bring 'em a morsel 'o jock.

A'a dear! it's a pitiful case
When th' cubbord is empty an' bare;
When want's stamped o' ivery face,
An' yo hav'nt a meal yo can share.

Today as aw walked into th' street,
Th' squire's carriage went rattlin past;
An' aw thout 'at it hardly luk'd reet,
For aw had'nt brokken mi fast.

Them horses, aw knew varry weel,
Wi' ther trappins all shinin i' gold,
Had nivver known th' want of a meal,
Or a shelter to keep 'em thro' th' cold.

Even th' dogs have enuff an' to spare,
Tho' they ne'er worked a day i' ther life;
But ther maisters forget they should care
For a chap 'at's three bairns an' a wife.

They give dinners at th' hall ivery neet,
An' ther's carriages stand in bi'th scoor,
An' all th' windows are blazin wi leet,
But they seldom give dinners to th' poor.

I' mi pocket aw hav'nt a rap,
Nor a crust, nor a handful o' mail;
An' unless we can get it o'th strap,
We mun pine, or mun beg, or else stail.

But hoamwards aw'll point mi owd clogs
To them three little lambs an' ther dam;--
Aw wish they wor horses or dogs,
For its nobbut poor fowk 'at's to clam.

But they say ther is One 'at can see,
An' has promised to guide us safe through;
Soa aw'll live on i'hopes, an' surelee,
He'll find a chap summat to do.

Another Babby

Another!--well, my bonny lad,
A'w wodn't send thee back;
Altho' we thowt we hadn't raam,
Tha's fun some in a crack.

It maks me feel as pleased as punch
To see thi pratty face;
Ther's net another child i'th bunch
Moor welcome to a place

Aw'st ha' to fit a peark for thee,
I' some nook o' mi cage;
But if another comes, raylee!
Aw'st want a bigger wage.

But aw'm noan feard tha'll ha' to want--
We'll try to pool thee throo,
For Him who has mi laddie sent,
He'll send his baggin too.

He hears the little sparrows chirp,
An' answers th' raven's call;
He'll never see one want for owt,
'At's worth aboon 'em all.

But if one on us mun goa short,
(Although it's hard to pine,)
Thy little belly shall be fill'd
Whativer comes o' mine.

A chap con nobbut do his best,
An' that aw'll do for thee,
Leavin to providence all th' rest,
An' we'st get help'd, tha'll see.

An' if thi lot's as bright an' fair
As aw could wish it, lad,
Tha'll come in for a better share
Nor iver blessed thi dad.

Aw think aw'st net ha' lived for nowt,
If, when deeath comes, aw find
Aw leave some virtuous lasses
An' some honest lads behind.

An' tho' noa coat ov arms may grace
For me, a sculptor'd stooan,
Aw hope to leave a noble race,
Wi arms o' flesh an' booan.

Then cheer up, lad, tho' things luk black,
Wi' health, we'll persevere,
An' try to find a brighter track--
We'll conquer, niver fear!

An may God shield thee wi' his wing,
Along life's stormy way,
An' keep thi heart as free throo sin,
As what it is to-day.

Th' Little Black Hand

Ther's a spark just o'th tip o' mi pen, An' it may be poetical fire; An' suppoase 'at it is'nt--what then? Wod yo bawk a chap ov his desire?

Aw'm detarmined to scribble away-- Soa's them 'at's a fancy con read; An' tho aw turn neet into day, If aw'm suitin an odd en, neer heed!

Aw own ther's mich pleasure i' life; But then ther's abundance o' care, An' them 'at's contented wi' strife May allus mak sure o' ther share.

But aw'll laff woll mi galluses braik, Tho mi bed's net as soft as spun silk; An' if butter be aght o' mi raik, Aw'll ma' th' best ov a drop o' churn milk.

It's nooan them 'at's getten all th' brass 'At's getten all th' pleasure, net it! When aw'm smookin a pipe wi' th' owd lass, Aw con thoil 'em whativer they get.

But sometimes when aw'm walkin throo th' street, An' aw see fowk hauf-clam'd, an' i' rags, Wi noa bed to lig daan on at neet But i'th' warkus, or th' cold-lukkin flags;

Then aw think, if rich fowk nobbut' knew What ther brothers i' poverty feel, They'd a trifle moor charity show, An' help 'em sometimes to a meal.

But we're all far too fond of ussen, To bother wi' things aght o'th' seet; An' we leeav to ther fate sich as them 'At's noa bed nor noa supper' at neet.

But ther's mony a honest heart throbs, Tho' it throbs under rags an' i' pains, 'At wod'nt disgrace one o'th' nobs, 'At booasts better blooid in his veins.

See that child thear! 'at's working away, An' sweepin that crossin i'th' street: He's been thear iver sin it coom day, An' yo'll find him thear far into th' neet.

See what hundreds goa thowtlessly by, An' ne'er think o' that child wi' his broom! What care they tho' he smothered a sigh, Or wiped off a tear as they coom.

But luk! thear's a man wi' a heart! He's gien th' poor child summat at last: Ha his een seem to twinkle an' start, As he watches th' kind gentleman past!

An' thear in his little black hand He sees a gold sovereign shine! He thinks he ne'er saw owt soa grand, An' he says, "Sure it connot be mine!"

An' all th' lads cluther raand him i' glee, An' tell him to cut aght o'th seet; But he clutches it fast,--an' nah see Ha he's threedin his way along th' street,

Till he comes to that varry same man, An' he touches him gently o'th' back, An' he tells him as weel as he can, 'At he fancies he's made a mistak.

An' th' chap luks at that poor honest lad, With his little naked feet, as he stands, An' his heart oppens wide--he's soa glad Woll he taks one o'th little black hands,

An' he begs him to tell him his name: But th' child glances timidly raand-- Poor craytur! he connot forshame To lift up his een off o'th graand.

But at last he finds courage to spaik, An' he tells him they call him poor Joa; 'At his mother is sickly an' waik; An' his father went deead long ago;

An' he's th' only one able to work Aght o' four; an' he does what he can, Thro' early at morn till it's dark: An' he hopes 'at he'll sooin be a man.

An' he tells him his mother's last word, As he starts for his labour for th' day, Is to put 'all his trust in the Lord, An' He'll net send him empty away.--

See that man! nah he's wipin his een, An' he gives him that bright piece o' gowd; An' th' lad sees i' that image o'th Queen What 'll keep his poor mother thro' th' cowd.

An' mony a time too, after then, Did that gentleman tak up his stand At that crossing an' watch for hissen The work ov that little black hand.

An' when-years had gone by, he expressed 'At i'th' spite ov all th' taichin he'd had, An' all th' lessons he'd leearn'd, that wor th' best 'At wor towt by that poor little lad.

Tho' the proud an' the wealthy may prate, An' booast o' ther riches and land, Some o'th' laadest ul sink second-rate To that lad with his little black hand.

Lilly's Gooan

"Well, Robert! what's th' matter! nah mun, Aw see 'at ther's summat nooan sweet; Thi een luk as red as a sun-- Aw saw that across th' width of a street; Aw hope 'at yor Lily's noa war-- Surelee--th' little thing is'nt deead? Tha wod roor, aw think, if tha dar-- What means ta bi shakin thi heead? Well, aw see bi thi sorrowful e'e At shoo's gooan, an' aw'm soory, but yet, When youngens like her hap ta dee, They miss troubles as some live to hit. Tha mun try an' put up wi' thi loss, Tha's been praad o' that child, aw mun say, But give over freatin, becoss It's for th' best if shoo's been taen away." "A'a! Daniel, it's easy for thee To talk soa, becoss th' loss is'nt thine; But its ommost deeath-blow to me, Shoo wor prized moor nor owt else 'at's mine; An' when aw bethink me shoo's gooan, Mi feelins noa mortal can tell; Mi heart sinks wi' th' weight ov a stooan, An' aw'm capped 'at aw'm livin mysel. Aw shall think on it wor aw to live To be th' age o' Methusla or moor; Tho' shoo said 'at aw had'nt to grieve, We should booath meet agean, shoo wor sure: An' when shoo'd been dreamin one day, Shoo said shoo could hear th' angels call; But shoo could'nt for th' life goa away Till they call'd for her daddy an' all. An' as sooin as aw coom thro' my wark, Shoo'd ha' me to sit bi her bed; An' thear aw've watched haars i'th' dark, An' listened to all 'at shoo's said; Shoo's repeated all th' pieces shoo's learnt, When shoo's been ov a Sundy to th' schooil, An ax'd me what dift'rent things meant, Woll aw felt aw wor nobbut a fooill An' when aw've been gloomy an' sad, Shoo's smiled an' taen hold o' mi hand, An whispered, 'yo munnot freat, dad; Aw'm gooin to a happier land; An' aw'll tell Jesus when aw get thear, 'At aw've left yo here waitin his call; An' He'll find yo a place, niver fear, For ther's room up i' heaven for all. An' this mornin, when watchin th' sun rise, Shoo said, 'daddy, come nearer to me, Thers a mist comin ovver mi eyes, An' aw find at aw hardly can see.-- Gooid bye!--kiss yor Lily agean,-- Let me pillow mi heead o' yor breast! Aw feel now aw'm freed thro' mi pain; Then Lily shoo went to her rest."

My Native Twang

They tell me aw'm a vulgar chap, An owt to goa to th' schooil To leearn to talk like other fowk, An' net be sich a fooil; But aw've a noashun, do yo see, Although it may be wrang, The sweetest music is to me, Mi own, mi native twang.

An' when away throo all mi friends, I' other taans aw rooam, Aw find ther's nowt con mak amends For what aw've left at hooam; But as aw hurry throo ther streets Noa matter tho aw'm thrang, Ha welcome if mi ear but greets Mi own, mi native twang.

Why some despise it, aw can't tell, It's plain to understand; An' sure aw am it saands as weel, Tho happen net soa grand. Tell fowk they're courtin, they're enraged, They call that vulgar slang; But if aw tell 'em they're engaged, That's net mi native twang.

Mi father, tho' he may be poor, Aw'm net ashamed o' him; Aw love mi mother tho' shoo's deeaf, An tho' her een are dim; Aw love th' owd taan; aw love to walk Its crucken'd streets amang; For thear it is aw hear fooak tawk Mi own, mi native twang.

Aw like to hear hard-workin' fowk Say boldly what they meean; For tho' ther hands are smeared wi' muck, May be ther hearts are cleean, An' them 'at country fowk despise, Aw say, "Why, let' em hang;" They'll niver rob mi sympathies Throo thee, mi native twang,

Aw like to see grand ladies, When they're donn'd i' silks soa fine; Aw like to see ther dazzlin' e'en Throo th' carriage winders shine: Mi mother wor a woman, An' tho' it may be wrang, Aw love 'em all, but mooastly them 'At tawk mi native twang.

Aw wish gooid luck to ivery one; Gooid luck to them 'ats brass; Gooid luck an' better times to come To them 'ats poor--alas! An' may health, wealth, an' sweet content For iver dwell amang True, honest-hearted, Yorkshire fowk, At tawk mi native twang.

Shoo's thi Sister

(Written on seeing a wealthy townsman rudely push a poor little girl off the pavement.)

Gently, gently, shoo's thi sister, Tho' her clooas are nowt but rags; On her feet ther's monny a blister: See ha painfully shoo drags Her tired limbs to some quiet corner: Shoo's thi sister--dunnot scorn her.

Daan her cheeks noa tears are runnin, Shoo's been shov'd aside befoor; Used to scoffs, an' sneers, an'shunnin-- Shoo expects it, coss shoo's poor; Schooil'd for years her grief to smother, Still shoos human--tha'rt her brother.

Tho' tha'rt donn'd i' fine black cloathin, A kid glove o' awther hand, Dunnot touch her roughly, loathin-- Shoo's thi sister, understand: Th' wind maks merry wi' her tatters, Poor lost pilgrim!--but what matters?

Lulk ha sharp her elbow's growin, An' ha pale her little face, An' her hair neglected, showin Her's has been a sorry case; O, mi heart felt sad at th' seet, When tha shov'd her into th' street

Ther wor once a "Man," mich greater Nor thisen wi' all thi brass, Him, awr blessed Mediator,-- Wod He scorn that little lass? Noa, He called 'em, an' He blessed 'em, An' His hands divine caress'd 'em.

Goa thi ways I an' if tha bears net Some regret for what tha's done, If tha con pass on, an' cares net For that sufferin' little one; Then ha'iver poor shoo be, Yet shoos rich compared wi' thee.

Oh! 'at this breet gold should blind us, To awr duties here below! For we're forced to leave behind us All awr pomp, an' all awr show: Why then should we slight another? Shoo's thi sister, unkind brother.

Persevere.

What tho' th' claads aboon luk dark,
Th' sun's just waitin to peep throo,
Let us buckle to awr wark,
For ther's lots o' jobs to do:
Tho' all th' world luks dark an' drear,
Let's ha' faith, an' persevere.

He's a fooil 'at sits an' mumps
'Coss some troubles hem him raand!
Man mud allus be i'th dumps,
If he sulk'd coss fortun fraand;
Th' time 'll come for th' sky to clear:--
Let's ha' faith, an' persevere.

If we think awr lot is hard, Niver let us mak a fuss; Lukkin raand, at ivery yard, We'st find others war nor us; We have still noa cause to fear! Let's ha' faith, an' persevere.

A faint heart, aw've heeard 'em say, Niver won a lady fair: Have a will! yo'll find a way! Honest men ne'er need despair. Better days are drawin' near:-- Then ha' faith, an' persevere.

Workin men,--nah we've a voice, An' con help to mak new laws; Let us iver show awr choice Lains to strengthen virtue's cause, Wrangs to reighten,--griefs to cheer; This awr motto--'persevere.'

Let us show to foreign empires Loyalty's noa empty booast; We can scorn the thirsty vampires If they dar molest awr cooast: To awr Queen an' country dear Still we'll cling an' persevere.

But as on throo life we hurry, By whativer path we rooam, Let us ne'er forget i'th' worry, True reform begins at hooam: Then, to prove yorsens sincere, Start at once; an' persevere.

Hard wark, happen yo may find it, Some dear folly to forsake, Be detarmined ne'er to mind it! Think, yor honor's nah at stake. Th' gooid time's drawin varry near! Then ha' faith, an' persevere.

To a Roadside Flower

Tha bonny little pooasy! aw'm inclined To tak thee wi' me: But yet aw think if tha could spaik thi mind, Tha'd ne'er forgie me; For I' mi jacket button-hoil tha'd quickly dee, An' life is short enough, boath for mi-sen an' thee.

Here, if aw leeave thee bi th' rooadside to flourish, Whear scoors may pass thee, Some heart 'at has few other joys to cherish May stop an' bless thee: Then bloom, mi little pooasy! Tha'rt a beauty, Sent here to bless: Smile on--tha does thi duty.

Aw wodn't rob another of a joy Sich as tha's gien me; For aw felt varry sad, mi little doy Until aw'd seen thee. An' may each passin', careworn, lowly brother, Feel cheered like me, an' leave thee for another.

Prose. Hartley's Cream of Wit and Humour

The New Year

What a charm ther is abaat owt new; whether it's a new year or a new waist-coit. Aw sometimes try to fancy what sooart ov a world ther'd be if ther wor nowt new.