Chapter M (16)

At a time of life when the passions are lively and strong, when the reezoning powers scarcely begin to be exercised, and the judgement iz not yet ripened by experience and obzervation, it iz of infinit consequence that yung persons should avail themselves of the advice of their frends. It iz tru that the maxims of old age are sometimes too rigorous to be relished by the yung; but in general they are to be valued az the lessons of infallible experience, and ought to be the guides of youth. The opinions here offered to your consideration hav not the advantage of great age to giv them weight, nor do they claim the authority of long experience: But they are formed from _some_ experience, with much reeding and reflection; and so far az a zeel for your welfare and respectability in future life merits your regard, so far this address haz a claim to your notis.

The first thing recommended to your attention iz, the care of your helth and the prezervation of your bodily constitution. In no particular iz the neglect of parents and guardians more obvious and fatal, than in suffering the bodies of their children to grow without care. My remark applies in particular to thoze who design their children to get a living without manual labor. Let yung persons then attend to facts, which are always before their eyes.

Nature seldom fails to giv both sexes the materials of a good constitution; that iz, a body complete in all its parts. But it depends mostly on persons themselves to manage theze materials, so az to giv them strength and solidity.

The most criticcal period of life, in this respect, iz the age of puberty, which iz usually between thirteen and seventeen, or eighteen. Before this period, you are very much in the power of parents or masters, and if they wish to see you strong and robust, they wil feed you with coarse substantial food of eezy digestion. But at fourteen yeers old, yung persons are capable of exercising their reezon, in some degree, and ought to be instructed in the mode of living, best calculated to secure helth and long life. It iz obzervable that yung persons of both sexes grow tall very rapidly about the age of thirteen, fourteen, fifteen or sixteen; but they do not acquire muscular strength in du proportion. It should then be the bizziness of yung persons to assist nature, and strengthen the growing frame by athletic exercises.

Thoze persons who leed a sedentary life, should practis some amusement which requires considerable exertion of the lims; az running, foot ball, quoit; taking care not to injure themselves by too violent exertion; for this would defeet the salutary purpose of such exercizes. But the exercize I would most recommend, iz _fencing_; for the art itself iz highly useful at times, and the practice tends more to render the body firm and vigorous than almost any exercize whatever. It braces the muscles of the arm, spreds the brest, opens the chest to giv the lungs play; an effect of great consequence to persons about the age of puberty. For, az waz before obzerved, persons of this age, shoot up very fast; the body grows tall, but narrow; the mass of flesh and blood iz increesed much faster than the tone of the vessels and muscular strength; the chest iz two narrow for the lungs to perform their office, and the blood vessels hav not sufficient elasticity to produce a brisk free circulation; the system iz often too week to carry on the necessary secretions of the juices; and the consequence of the whole iz, an obstructed circulation produces ulcers upon the lungs, which bring on a decay, or some infirmities of body, which last for many yeers, and not unfrequently for life.

To avoid theze ills, much exercise of the arms and body iz not only useful, but necessary; and when it iz not the lot of yung persons to labor, in agriculture or mekanic arts, some laborious amusement should be constantly and daily pursued az a substitute, and none iz preferable to fencing. A fencing skool iz perhaps az necessary an institution in a college, az a professorship of mathematics; for yung men usually enter college about the age of puberty; and often leev a laborious occupation, to commence a sedentary life, at the very time when labor or other exercize iz the most necessary to giv firmness and vigor to their constitutions. In consequence of this change and an academic life, they often run up into long, slender, effeminate bodies, which a slight cold may throw into a consumption; or by intense application to books, add, to a debilitated frame of body, a week nervous system, which keeps them always dying, tho it may not end life til old age.

Dancing iz an excellent amusement for yung peeple, especially for thoze of sedentary occupations. Its excellence consists in exciting a cheerfulness of the mind, highly essential to helth; in bracing the muscles of the body, and in producing copious perspiration. Az the two first effects are very visibly beneficial, they are the subject of common obzervation; but the last, which iz perhaps the most generally beneficial, iz rarely mentioned.

Experience haz led me to the following ideas on this subject. Our bodies are so constituted that a large portion of the juices should be thrown off by insensible perspiration; nor can the process be abated without danger, nor wholly obstructed without occasioning diseese. The body must perspire, or must be out of order. A violent cold iz a sudden obstruction of the process, which throws the matter, intended for evacuation thro the pores of the skin, back upon the _intestines_, taking the word, not in a tecknical, but in its original extended sense. All that iz necessary to cure a cold, which iz not attended with symptoms of inflamation, iz to open the pores of the body; which may be done by bracing, az by drinking cold water, which excites circulation by its tonic power; or by relaxing the system, az by the warm bath and warm teas. The first wil answer, where the body haz vigor enough to giv the tonic its full effect; but iz not so efficacious, nor so generally practicable az the last. It iz not so eezy to force thro a wall, az to open a gate.

The common house-wifely remedies, consisting of butter or other oily substances, mixed with spirits, usually hav no effect upon a cold, or a bad one. Flannel, warm teas, or simple warm water, hav the best effect in relaxing; but if they fail of producing a perspiration, the patient should hav recourse to exercise. Dancing in a warm room, or other violent exercise, wil generally throw a person into a copious swet in a few minutes; and this, two or three times repeeted, wil usually releev the person, however obstinate the cold. If every thing else fails, the warm bath should be resorted to az an almost infallible remedy.

But there iz another species of obstructed perspiration more dangerous perhaps than sudden colds, because less perceptible; I meen, that which proceeds from a week habit of body. Whenever the tone of the vessels iz lost, the circulation of the blood becumes languid, the animal heet iz diminished, and the system haz not strength sufficient to throw off the perspirable matter. The consequence iz, the skin becumes dry and rigid, and the person usually feels a dull pain in hiz hed and the back part of hiz neck. Wimen, literary men, clerks, &c. are most expozed to theze symptoms. The remedy for them iz, free perspiration; but the most effectual remedy iz dancing, or other vigorous exercise, which increeses, at the same time, animal heet and the tone of the vessels. Dancing indeed unites to theze, the other advantage of cheerfulness and good spirits, which iz of singular use to persons accustomed to close application to bizziness or contemplation. The only caution to be obzerved iz, not to go into the cold air, without considerable additional clothing.

In cases where persons cannot hav recourse to dancing or other exercize in a warm room, the warm bath may be uzed to great advantage. At first thought, one would imagin, that the cold bath should be prescribed for giving tone to a week system; but on reflection, this would appeer to be generally, tho not always hazardous. The truth iz, a general relaxation of the body checks perspiration; and the first effect of cold, in such cases, iz to brace the exterior parts of the body, and throw the offending matter, lodged in the skin by the debility of the system, back upon the lungs, or other interior parts. If the system haz strength enough, or can receev enough by the operation of cold, to force open the pores and produce a copious perspiration, the cold bath wil hav an excellent effect. But when the person iz of a week frame, the experiment iz extremely dangerous. The safest remedy iz the warm bath, which remooves the obstructing matter by a gentle relaxation of the surface; thus enabling the vessels to recuver their tone, in a degree, and keep up a brisk circulation. The warm bath then iz the most safe and efficacious remedy for obstructed perspiration, occasioned by debility; and this iz an evil to which all sedentary peeple are expozed, and by which most of them suffer.

I hav been often suprized that the moderns hav so generally neglected the meens of prezerving helth, which were uzed by the ancients. A little attention to the structure of the human body, and the effect of heet and cold upon it, led the ancients to the obvious and almost infallable meens of garding themselves from diseeze. Their method waz to bathe almost daily; and then oil their bodies. By bathing, they kept their perspiration free, and their bodies of course, in vigor and clenly; and by the use of oil, they secured the body from the fatal effects of sudden cold. In the later ages of Rome, warm baths indeed became a luxury, and were uzed to excess; but this waz only an abuse of a good thing, the excellent effects of which had been experienced for ages. The neglect of the same meens, of preventing diseese, haz obliged the modern to hav recourse to physic, a substitute, more expensiv and trublesome, and not always effectual.[167]

[167] It iz evident, from the silence of all ancient
monuments, that the heeling art waz not cultivated, and
scarcely known among the old Romans. For several ages from
the bilding of Rome, there iz hardly any mention made of a
physician. Pliny relates, that Rome flurished, six hundred
yeers, without physicians; that iz, the profession waz not
honorable, being confined to servants or other low karacters.
In Seneca's time, many of theze had acquired estates by the
bizziness; but they were stil held in no estimation. "Bona in
arte medendi humillimisque quibus contingere videmus." After
the conquest of Greece and Asia, the manners of the Romans
were corrupted by the luxuries of the eest; diseeses
multiplied, and the practice of physic became more necessary
and more reputable; but the art of surgery waz not separated
from that of medicin, til the times of the emperors.

Whether in bizziness or amusement, let your whole conduct be guided by temperance. Are you students? Eet moderately, and let your food be of the nutritiv kind, but not oily, high seesoned and indigestible. Drink but little, or rather no distilled liquors; wine and fermented liquors are much to be preferred. A good cup of tee, iz sometimes a cordial; coffee may be uzed freely; but the constant use of hot liquors seldom fails to debilitate the system and impair the digestiv powers.

Whether you reed or rite, accustom yourselves to stand at a high desk, rather than indulge an indolent habit of sitting, which always weekens, and sometimes disfigures the body. The neerer you can keep every part of the body to an eezy strait posture, the more equable wil be the circulation of the fluids; and in order to giv them the most unconstrained flow to the extremities of the lims, it iz very useful to loosen thoze parts of dress that bind the lims closely.

There iz another kind of temperance which I would warmly recommend; that iz, temperance in study. Little does a helthy robust yuth reflect upon the delicate texture of the nervous system, which iz immediately affected by close mental application. The full fed muscular man may spurn the caution, that warns him against the danger of hypocondriacs; but it iz next to impossible that the hard student, who clossets himself seven or eight hours a day, in deep meditation, should escape the deplorable evil, which makes men valetudinarians for life, without hope of a radical cure, and with the wretched consolation of being perpetually laughed at.

Four hours of uninterrupted study in a day iz generally sufficient to furnish the mind with az many ideas az can be retained, methodized and applied to practice; and it iz wel if one half of what are run over in this time are not lost. It may sometimes be necessary to study or reed _more_ hours in a day; but it wil az often be found useful to reed _less_.

When you exercize at any diversion, or go into company, forget your studies, and giv up yourselves entirely to the amusement. It wil do you no good to leev your books behind, unless you dismiss your attention or train of thinking. Attend to experience. You find it very fateeging to stand, sit or even to lie in one fixed posture, for any length of time, and change affords releef. The same iz tru of the mind. It iz necessary, if I may indulge the expression, to change the pozition of the mind; that iz, vary the train of thought; for by a variety of ideas, the mind iz releeved, in the same degree az the body by a change of posture.

When you reed, always endevor to reed with some particular object. You wil find many books that ought to be red in course; but in general when you take up a treetis upon any science, or a volum of history, without a view to inform yourself of some _particular_ in that wurk, you are not likely to retain what you reed. The object iz too general; the mind iz not capable of embracing the whole. For instance, if you reed Hume's England in course, with design to acquaint yourself with the whole story, you wil find, at the end of your labor, that you are able to recollect only a few of the most remarkable occurrences; the greatest part of the history haz escaped you. But if you confine yourself to _one point of history_ at a time, for example, the life and policy of Alfred, or the account of Mary, queen of Scots, and reed what every author you can lay your hand on, haz said upon that subject, comparing their different accounts of it, you wil impress the history upon the mind, so az not to be eezily effaced. Law students should attend to theze remarks.

There iz another kind of temperance of more consequence than thoze mentioned, viz. temperance in plezure: For to all the personal evils of an excessiv indulgence of the animal appetite, we may add innumerable evils of a moral and social nature. No intercourse should take place between the sexes, til the body haz attained to full strength and maturity. In this respect, ancient barbarous nations hav set an example, that ought to make moderns blush for their effeminacy of manners, and their juvenile indulgences. The old Germans accounted it shameful and disreputable for yung men to hav any intercourse with the other sex, before the age of twenty.[168] To this continence were they much indetted for their muscular bodies, their helth and longevity. But such an abstinence from plezure waz not maintained by law; the Germans knew that positiv prohibitions would be ineffectual to restrain this indulgence; they had recourse to the only certain method; they made it _dishonorable_. How different iz the case in modern times! So far iz debauchery from being scandalous, that it iz frequently the boast of men in the first offices of state; and a karacter of licentiousness iz little or no objection in a candidate for preferment.[169]

[168] Qui diutissime impuberes permanserunt, maximam inter
suos ferunt laudem: Hôc ali staturam, ali vires, nervosque
confirmari putant. Intra annum vero xx feminæ notitiam
habuisse, in turpissimis habent rebus.---- Cesar De Bel. Gal.
lib. 6. 19.

[169] The ancients were wiser than the moderns in many
respects; and particularly in restraining certain vices by
_opinion_, rather than by _positiv injunctions_. Duelling and
profane swearing are prohibited by the laws of most
countries; yet penalties hav no effect in preventing the
crimes, whilst they are not followed by loss of reputation.
Vices which do not immediately affect the lives, honor or
property of men, which are not _mala in se_, which are eezily
conceeled, or which are supported by a principle of honor or
reputation, are not restrainable by law. Under some of theze
description fall, duelling, profane swearing, gambling, &c.
To check such vices, public opinion must render them
infamous.[j] Thoze who hav the distribution of honors and
offices, may restrain theze vices by making the commission of
them an insuperable bar to preferment. Were the _Prezident_
and the executivs of the several states, to be az particular
in enquiring whether candidates for offices are given to
gambling, swearing or debaucheries; whether they hav ever
given or receeved a challenge, or betrayed an innocent
female; az they are in enquiring whether they are men of
abilities and integrity; and would they, with undeviating
resolution, proscribe from their favor and their company,
every man whoze karacter, in theze particulars, iz not
unimpeechable, they would diminish the number of vices,
exclude some wholly from society, banish others from genteel
company, and confine their contagion to the herd of mankind.
But where iz the man of elevated rank, of great talents, of
unshaken firmness, of heroic virtue, to begin the glorious
reformation? America may now furnish the man, but where shall
hiz successor be found?

[j] See Vattels Law of Nations, b. I. ch. 13.

Oppozed to passion and to false pride, caution wil perhaps be unavailing. But men who wish for permanent happiness, should be persuaded to take the meens for securing it. Wil you then run the risk of erly indulgence in illicit plezure? Some of you _may_ escape the evils which generally follow; but the chances are against you. In nine cases of ten, you wil destroy the vigor of your bodies, and thus impair the ability of enjoyment by excess; or what iz an additional evil, you wil contract diseese. What iz the consequence? Eether your taste for the vilest plezures wil grow into habit and make abandoned rakes of you, averse to the innocent enjoyments of the married life, and of course bad members of society; or you wil perhaps marry amiable wimen, with your strength and helth impaired, and your minds debauched, fickle, prone to jelousy. In this case, you are neether secure of your partners affections, nor wil you be likely to know the valu of their virtues. Having broken over the barriers of virtue, you are forever liable to stray; and the probability iz, you destroy the happiness of your wives, and the peece of your families. Perhaps with some art, and the forgiving temper of your wives, you may conceel the family discord, and the wretched state of your minds, from a censorious world; pride, reputation, every motiv would urge you to this precaution; but iz not this a poor substitute for happiness? A poor consolation for the multiplied evils that follow, in an endless train, from the unreezonable and criminal indulgences of a few yeers? You may be assured also that a woman of good principles cannot feel a pure satisfaction, in the company even of a reformed husband, when she reflects, az she frequently wil, that he haz wasted hiz helth and substance upon the vilest of her sex. My yung frends, it iz idle, it iz weekness and folly to expect any kind of happiness or plezure, which shal indemnify you for the trubble of seeking it, except in the pursuance of the principles which morality prescribes. Whenever you pursu an object, at the expense of any moral principle; when the attainment of your end must injure the person, the property, the reputation or the feelings of one child of Adam, the acquisition of that object wil not giv you happiness; you are pursuing a fantom. This leeds me to say something on one of the most hanous crimes a man can commit, and which the laws of society cannot or at leest do not punish; that iz, seduction.

Fashion, which iz often founded on moral propriety, and oftener on political convenience, iz sometimes an enemy to both; and public opinion, enlisted in the cauze of vice, iz a greater scurge to society than war or pestilence. It iz one of the evils, or rather of the curses of civilization, that certain crimes, az malignant in their nature, and az fatal in their consequence, az murder and robbery, becume fashionable, and to a certain degree, reputable. Of this kind, iz deliberate seduction. It iz az malignant in its nature az murder, for it iz accompanied with the same aggravation, malice pretense, or a premeditated design: It iz az fatal to society; for reputation iz az deer az life; and the wretched victims of deception, if they lay violent hands on themselves, or linger out a life of disgrace, are equally murdered, equally lost to society. And the only reezon why the seducer and the murderer hav not been placed on a footing by the laws of society, must be, the difficulty of proof, or of ascertaining the degrees of gilt, where there iz a possibility or a presumtion of assent on the part of the woman.

There are however certain instances of this crime which are az capable of proof az, arson, burglary or murder; and why the laws of a state, which prohibit under severe penalties, the taking or giving more than six per cent. interest on the loan of money, even on the fairest contract, should yet permit the seducer to take another's reputation, to doom to indelible infamy the helpless female, whoze reputation iz all her portion, iz one of thoze problems in society, which the philosopher wil impute to human imperfection, and the Kristian number among the inscrutable mysteries of providence.

But I am not addressing legislators; I am reezoning with individuals. Waving the baseness of the crime, let us attend to its consequences in families and society. You wil doutless acknowlege, for I do not see how you can deny, that when you deliberately commit a crime that affects your nabor, you explicitly admit that your nabor haz an equal right to commit the same crime against yourselves; for I presume no man wil arrogate to himself an exclusiv privilege of being a villan.

You attempt then to seduce the wife, the sister, or the dawter of your frend; but hav you none of theze relations? Hav you not a wife, a sister, a dawter, whoze reputation iz deer to you; whoze honor you would die to defend? You hav attacked the honor of your nabor; haz he not the same right to assail your family, in the same delicate point? But if you has none of theze neer connections, hav you no female frend whoze reputation iz deer to you? Now by attempting the honor of any woman, you wage war with the whole human race; you break down the barriers which nature and society hav established to gard your _own_ family and frends, and leev _their_ honor and happiness, and consequently your _own_, expozed to the intreegs of every unprincipled retch: You even invite an attempt upon your family and frends; you beet a challenge, and bid defiance to any man who haz the spirit to revenge the rongs of the helpless. Theze are serious considerations, in which men of principle and of no principle are equally interested; for an abandoned rake iz usually az fond of hiz own and hiz family's honor, az the man of the chastest life.

Mingle with your superiors in age and wizdom, whenever you can do it with propriety. If your parents are wize, they wil associate with you az much az possible in your amusements; they wil be cheerful and facetious, and thus make you az happy az you wish to be at home. A morose crabbed old man iz not inviting company for the yung and sprightly; and you ought rather to shun the illnatured, if possible. But whenever your parents are of a cheerful dispozition, and luv their children, they make the most agreeable and most useful companions. They wil find amusements for you at home, and you wil be happier there than any where else. If your parents are thus dispozed to make themselves your principal companions, always indulge their inclination. You wil thus avoid the contagion of vicious company, you wil form a habit of contentment and satisfaction at home; and remember, if you do not find happiness there, you wil never find much satisfaction abroad.

In choosing society however, be careful not to push yourself into company. Yung men are often impatient of the restraints which modesty and decorum impoze upon them. They are anxious to associate with thoze of greater age and rank than themselves; and expect more notis than mankind in general suppoze they dezerv. This proceeds from the ambition and fire of youth; the motivs I beleev to be often innocent and laudable; the ambition therefore should be guverned, rather than repressed. A little experience wil dictate patience and a modest deportment, which, with yeers and information, wil always ensure respectability. I once knew a man of twenty two chagrined even to petulence, becauze he could not be admitted a trustee of a college. I waz surprized at hiz severe remarks on the venerable body of gentlemen who rejected him. He thought himself a man of more science than some of the corporation; and therefore better qualified to direct a literary institution. Admit the fact, that he excelled in scientific attainments, yet the vexation he felt at hiz disappointment waz proof enough that he waz destitute of the first requisits in the overseers of yuth, _coolness_ and _judgement_.

In the world, avoid every species of affectation, and be az fashionable az convenience wil warrant. Yet never be the first to invent novelty, nor run to excess in imitation. This advice, _to be fashionable_, should however be qualified, and restrained to things indifferent, in point of morality. Az the moral karacter of men does not depend on the shape of their garments, it iz generally best to wear our clothes in the model that fashion prescribes; unless your circumstances forbid, or the fashion itself iz inconvenient: For if you are not able to afford the expense, it iz criminal in you to follow the customs of the welthy; and if the shape of a garment makes it uneezy upon you or cumbersome, the fashion iz ridiculous, and none but week peeple, the common coxcombs and butterflies of the world, wil adopt it. For this reezon follow lord Chesterfield's maxims with great caution. His letters contain a strange compound of the _best_ and _worst_ instructions ever given to a yung man; indeed it would be expected of a man, whoze object waz not to make hiz son _good_, but to make him _showy_.

Hiz lordship, I think, recommends to hiz son to wear _long nails_; in consequence of which advice, long nails are very fashionable wherever hiz letters are red. But a man ought to be consistent. Why did he not at the same time recommend long beards? Both are very proper among savages, who hav no ideas of neetness; and one would think, they should always go together; but among civilized peeple, both are equally slovenly. Hiz lordship givs an excellent reezon for hiz advice; that mekanics pare their nails, and _gentlemen_ ought to be distinguished from _laborers_. Why did not he add, that az mekanics walk on two feet, gentlemen, for sake of distinction, ought to walk on all fours? But hiz lordship had better reezons for hiz advice. Long nails are a most commodious substitute, or at leest furnish a reddy alleviation of the evils arizing from a sparing use of ivory. Besides, hiz lordship waz a courtier, fond of royal examples, &c. He found a princely one in the Assyrian monark, who, when he waz a beest, wore hiz nails in the same manner. Nebuchadnezzer however waz under the direction of a divine impulse; an authority that hiz lordship could not claim for _all_ hiz injunctions and maxims.

Never let fashion blind you to convenience and congruity. Do not introduce foreign customs, without reezon, or by the halves. The French feed themselves with forks, uzing knives merely to cut their meet; therefore knives with sharp points, are for them the most convenient. But it iz really laughable to see the Americans adopting the use of sharp pointed knives, without the practice of feeding themselves with forks. They do not see the particular convenience of the custom in France, where it originated; but it iz _the fashion to uze them_, and this iz all they think of. They are however well punished for their servile apishness, especially when they are hungry; for a man may az wel feed himself with a bodkin, az with a knife of the present fashion.

Be equally careful of affectation in the use of language. Uze words that are most common and generally understood. Remember that sublimity and elegance do not consist principally in words; az the modern stile of writing would make us beleev. Sublimity consists in grand and elevated ideas; and elegance iz most generally found in a plain, neet, chaste phraseology. In pronunciation be very cautious of imitating the stage, where indeed nature _should be represented_, but where in fact we find too much strutting, mouthing, rant, and every kind of affectation. The modern pronunciation of our language on the English stage iz, beyond mezure, affected and ridiculous. The change of _t_, _d_ and _s_ into _ch_, _j_ and _sh_, in such words az _nature_, _education_, _superstition_, originated in the theatrical mouthing of words; and iz, in language, what the stage-strut iz in walking. The practice haz indeed spred from the stage among our polite speekers, who hav adopted it, az peeple do other fashions, without knowing why. Were it a matter of indifference, like the shape of a hat, I would recommend it to your imitation; but I hav cleerly prooved in another place,[170] that the practice iz not vindicable on any good principles; that on the contrary, it materially injures the language, both in orthography and the melody of speeking. There iz such a thing az tru and false taste, and the latter az often directs fashion, az the former. The _nachure_ and _edjucation_ of modern times are to purity of language, what red fethers and yellow ribbons are to elegance in dress; and could the practice be represented with a pencil, it would be az boldly caricatured, az the enormous hed-dresses of 1774.

[170] See my Dissertations on the English Language, 4.

Do not adopt such phrases az _averse from_, _agreeably to_, _going past_, and other modern alterations of the usual idiom; for they are gross violations of the principles of the language, az might be eezily prooved, were this the place. If you are a lawyer, do not confound such terms, az, _witness_, _testimony_ and _evidence_, calling a _witness_, an _evidence_. _Witness_ iz the person testifying; _testimony_ iz what he declares in court; and _evidence_ iz the effect of that testimony in producing conviction. Do not confound such words az, _genius_ and _capacity_, or _sense_, _lerning_ and _knowlege_. _Genius_ iz the power of _invention_; _capacity_, the power of _receeving_ ideas. _Sense_ iz the faculty of perception; _lerning_ iz what iz obtained in _books_; _knowlege_ iz what iz acquired by _observation_.

Attach yourselves to bizziness in the erly part of life. Shun idle dissipated karacters az you would the plague. Listen to nature and reezon, and draw just ideas of things from theze pure sources; otherwize you wil imbibe _fashionable sentiments_, than which a more fatal evil cannot happen to you. You wil often heer bizziness condemned az drudgery and disgrace. Despize the sentiment. Nature speeks a different language. Nature tells you, "that she haz given you bodies, which require constant exercize; that labor or some other exercize iz essential to helth; that employment iz necessary to peece of mind; and industry iz the meens of acquiring property." Nature then haz rendered _bizziness_ necessary to _helth and happiness_, az wel az to _interest_; and when men neglect her dictates, they are usually punished with poverty, diseeze and retchedness. It sometimes happens that a man's ancestors hav accumulated such an estate, that he iz wel secured from _poverty_; but the very estate he possesses, iz the meens of entailing upon him diseeze and all its consequential evils: For a rich man iz strongly tempted to be lazy; and indolence, by debilitating the animal system, destroys the power of enjoyment. Besides, a man of eezy circumstances iz very apt to looze the virtu of self denial; he indulges hiz appetite too freely; he becumes an epicure in eeting, and perhaps a bakkanalian; he iz then a slave of the worst kind, a slave to hiz own desires, and hiz faithful services to himself are rewarded with the gout.

In addition to this, he may squander away hiz estate; and then he iz poor indeed! For a man who iz bred in affluence, seldom haz the resolution or the knowlege requisit to repair a broken fortune. The way to _keep an estate_, iz to lern in youth how to _acquire one_; and the way to _enjoy_ an estate, iz to be constantly in some bizziness which shal find employment for the faculties of the mind. Idleness and plezure fateeg az soon az bizziness; and indeed when bizziness haz becume habitual, it iz the first of plezures.

In forming a matrimonial connection, bridle fancy, and reduce it to the control of reezon. You wil perhaps be in luv at sixteen; but remember, you cannot rely on the continuance of the passion. At this erly period of life, a man's passions are too violent to last; he iz in raptures and ecstacy; but _raptures and ecstacy_ never continu _thro life_. While a man talks of raptures and paradise on erth, he iz not fit to be married; for hiz passion, or rather hiz frenzy, warps hiz judgement; he iz az unqualified to form a just estimate of a woman's karacter, az a blind man to judge of colors. The probability iz, in all such cases, that a man wil make a bad choice; at leest the chances are ten to one against him. Before a man marries, he should liv long enuf to experience the fallacy of hope, and to moderate hiz expectations down to real life. He wil then meet with fewer disappointments, and be better prepared to realize the happiness that iz within hiz power.

If you feel a _violent_ passion for a young lady, the chance iz that the first opportunity you hav, you wil discloze it, and assure her you are dying for her. Should passion hurry you to such a declaration, before you hav much acquaintance with her, and before you hav, by your attentions, made some favorable impressions on her hart, you may be sure of a repulse; for your sudden professions frighten the lady, and ladies are never frightened into luv. A widow wil sometimes surrender to the most unexpected attack; but yung coy maidens are to be taken only by gradual approaches. To ensure success, take the advice of a very sensible woman; "first be the frend, and then the luver." Be polite and attentiv; show yourself a particular frend, for ladies are not alarmed at professions of esteem; be neether bashful, nor discuver uncommon solicitude; and the lady's hart wil probably be yours before she knows it.

Do you ask, how you shal discuver the tru karacter of a woman, so az not to be deceeved? I answer, this must depend mostly on obzervations of your own, or of thoze that are more acquainted with the sex than yourself. The virtues of good nature, delicacy, modest rezervedness, prudence, &c. are discuverable only by considerable acquaintance. I would however advize you to be cautious of connecting yourselves with the following karacters: First, wimen who hav been accustomed to indulge familiarities, even in company, such az kissing, playing with their hands, and the like. Secondly, thoze who wil never be seen in the morning; for if a lady runs out of a room, and avoids you in a morning dress, the suspicion iz that she iz a slut, and that she iz conscious of her unfitness to be seen. A neet woman wil never be ashamed of her dishabille, for in this she wil show her neetness to the best advantage. A slut may look tolerably wel in silks; but a neet woman only wil appeer wel in a kitchen or at a brekfast table in her own family.

Thirdly, never connect yourselves with a very loquacious or fretful woman; such a partner wil teeze you thro life. Fourthly, avoid one who haz a slanderous tung; she wil keep your family and the naborhood in perpetual discord. Fifthly, form no connection with a woman, who haz no acquaintance with a kitchen. She wil trust every thing to servants, who wil waste more than you consume; she wil not know how to reform abuses or guvern domestics; the clothes wil be ill washed, the food wil be badly cooked; you wil be harrassed with disorders and irregularity in the family; and you wil be ashamed of your wife, if she iz not ashamed of herself. A master of a vessel should not _come in at the cabin windows_; nor should a man be placed at the hed of an army, without an intimate knowlege of the duty of a private soldier. How then can a lady be qualified for the care of a family, without being acquainted with every part of domestic bizziness? Sixthly, marry, if possible, a lady of virtu and religion; for religion iz her best gard from temptation and the allurements of vice. At any rate, _marry_. A _married man_, especially a _father_, iz a better citizen than a bachelor. Hiz benevolent affections are called in to exercize in hiz family; and he iz thus prepared to luv and to bless society in general.

No. XXX.

NEW YORK, 1788.

_An_ ADDRESS _to_ YUNG LADIES.

MY AMIABLE FRENDS,

Altho men in general are expozed to the suspicion of your sex, and their opinions are often construed into flattery or stratagem, yet the tenor of the following remarks wil, it iz presumed, bear such marks of sincerity az to giv them a place in your confidence. They are not the precepts of a morose instructor, nor the opinions of a hoary sage who haz lost all relish for the joys of life, and wishes to restrain the innocent plezures of sense. They do not proceed from a peevish old bachelor, whom a phlegmatic constitution, or repeeted disappointments, hav changed into a hater of your sex; but they come from a heart capable of being softened by your charms or your misfortunes; a heart that never harbored a wish but to see and make you happy. They are the sentiments of a yung _frend_; one who haz lived long enuf, if not to feel his _own_ faults, at leest to _discuver_ thoze of others; and to form a tolerable estimate of your worth in social life.

Our Saviour, when on erth, took a child in hiz arms and said, "of such iz the kingdom of heaven." I never view a circle of little misses without recollecting the divine comparison. A collection of sweet little beings, with voices az melodious az the notes of the nightingale, whoze cheeks even a whisper wil cuver with blushes, and whoze hearts are az pure az the falling snow drop; iz heaven in miniature. Such iz the description of my little female frends in the bloom of childhood. To prezerve that delicacy of mind, which nature furnishes; which constitutes the glory of your sex, and forms the principal gard of your own virtue, iz the bizziness of education. In this article, you hav an opportunity to display the excellence of your character, and to exert your talents most successfully in benefitting society.

A woman without delicacy, iz a woman without reputation; for chastity really exists in the mind; and when this fountain iz pure, the words and actions that flow from it, wil be chaste and delicate. Yung misses therefore should be remooved az far az possible from all company that can taint their minds, or accustom them to indecency of any kind. Their nurses, their companions, their teechers, should be selected from peeple of at leest uncorrupted morals and amiable manners.

But a more advanced stage of life, the time when yung ladies enter into society, iz, with respect to their future reputation, a period extremely critical. Little, my deer friends, do you reflect, how important iz the manner in which you enter into life. Prudery and coquetry are extremes equally to be shunned, becauze both are equally disagreeable to our sex, and fatal to your reputations. It haz been said that coquetts often looze their reputation, while they retain their virtu; and that prudes often prezerve their reputation, after they hav lost their virtu. I would only add this remark, that coquetts are _generally_, but prudes _almost always_ suspected; and suspicion iz az fatal to a female karacter, az a crime. Iz this unjust? Coquetry and prudery are both affectation; every species of affectation dezerves punishment; and when persons relinquish their own natural karacters for thoze which are borrowed, iz it unjust to suspect their motivs, az a punishment for the offence?

You are taught to suspect the man who flatters you. But your good sense wil very eezily distinguish between expressions of mere civility and declarations of real esteem. In general one rule holds, that the man who iz most lavish in declarations of esteem and admiration, luvs and admires you the leest. A profusion of flattery iz real ground for suspicion. Reel esteem iz evinced by a uniform course of polite respectful behaviour. This iz a proof on which you may depend; it iz a flattery the most grateful to a lady of understanding, because it must proceed from a real respect for her karacter and virtues.

Permit me here to suggest one caution. You are told that unmeening flattery iz an insult to your understandings, and sometimes you are apt to resent it. This should be done with great prudence. Precipitate resentment iz dangerous; it may not be dezerved at the time; it may make you an enemy; it may giv uneeziness to a frend; it may giv your own harts pain; it may injure you by creating a suspicion that it iz all affectation. The common place civilities of dangling beaux may be very trifling and disagreeable, but can rarely amount to an insult, or dezerve more than indifference and neglect. Resentment of such trifles can hardly be a mark of tru dignity of soul.

At this period of life, let the prime excellence of your karacters, _delicacy_, be discuvered in all your words and actions. Permit me, az one acquainted at leest with the sentiments of my own sex, to assure you, that a man never respects a woman, who does not respect herself. The moment a woman suffers to fall from her tung, any expressions that indicate the leest indelicacy of mind; the moment she ceeses to blush at such expressions from our sex, she ceeses to be respected; becauze az a lady, she iz no longer respectable. Whatever familiarity of conversation may be vindicable or pardonable in ether sex alone, there iz, in mixed companies, a sacred decorum that should not be violated by one rude idea. And however dispozed the ladies may be to overlook small transgressions in our sex, yet unforgiving man cannot eezily forget the offences of yours, especially when thoze offences discuver a want of all that renders you lovely.

If your _words_ are to be so strictly watched, how much more attention iz necessary to render your _conduct_ unexceptionable. You charge our sex, with being the seducers, the betrayers of yours. Admit the charge to be partially tru, yet let us be candid. Az profligate az many of our sex are acknowleged to be, it iz but justice to say, that very few are so abandoned az to attempt deliberately the seduction of an artless and innocent lady, who shows, by her conduct, that she iz conscious of the worth of her reputation, and that she respects her own karacter. I hav rarely found a libertine who had impudence enuf to assail virtue, that had not been expozed by some improprieties of conduct. There iz something so commanding in virtu, that even villans respect her, and dare not approach her temples but in the karacter of her votaries.

But when a woman iz incautious, when she iz reddy to fall into the arms of any man that approaches her, when she suffers double entendres, indecent hints and conversation to flow from her lips in mixed companies, she remooves the barriers of her reputation, she disarms herself, and thousands consider themselves at liberty to commence an attack.

When so much depends on your principles and reputation; when we expect to derive all the happiness of the married life from that source, can it be a crime to wish for some proof of your virtu before the indissoluble connection iz formed? Iz that virtu to be trusted which haz never been tempted? Iz it absurd to say that an attack may be made even with honorable intentions? Admit the absurdity; but such attempts are often made, and may end in your ruin. The man may then be retched in hiz mistake becauze he iz disappointed in hiz opinion and expectations. Be assured, my frends, that even vile man cannot but esteem the woman who respects herself. We look to you, in a world of vice, for that delicacy of mind, that innocence of life, which render _you_ lovely and _ourselves_ happy.

Do you wish for admiration? But admiration iz az transient az the blaze of a meteor. Ladies who hav the most admirers, are often the last to find valuable partners.

Do you wish to be esteemed and luved? It iz eezy to render yourselves esteemable and lovely. It iz only by retaining that softness of manners, that obliging and delicate attention to every karacter, which, whether natural or acquired, are at some period of life, the property of almost every female. Beauty and money, without merit, will sometimes command eligible connections; but such connections do not answer the wishes of our hearts; they do not render us happy. Lerning, or an acquaintance with books, may be a very agreeable or a very disagreeable accomplishment, in proportion to the discretion of the lady who possesses it. Properly employed, it iz highly satisfactory to the lady and her connections; but I beleev obzervation wil confirm my conjecture, that a strong attachment to books in a lady, often deters a man from approaching her with the offer of hiz heart. This iz ascribed to the pride of our sex. That the imputation iz always false, I wil not aver; but I undertake to say, that if pride iz the cauze, it iz supported by the order of nature.

One sex iz formed for the more hardy exercizes of the council, the field and the laborious employments of procuring subsistence. The other, for the superintendance of domestic concerns, and for diffusing bliss thro social life. When a woman quits her own department, she offends her husband, not merely becauze she obtrudes herself upon _hiz_ bizziness, but becauze she departs from that sphere which iz assigned _her_ in the order of society; becauze she neglects _her_ duty, and leeves _her own_ department vacant. The same remark wil apply to the man who visits the kitchen and gets the name of a _betty_. The same principle which excludes a man from an attention to domestic bizziness, excludes a woman from law, mathematics and astronomy. Eech sex feels a degree of pride in being best qualified for a particular station, and a degree of resentment when the other encroaches upon their privilege. This iz acting conformably to the constitution of society. A woman would not willingly marry a man who iz strongly inclined to pass hiz time in seeing the house and furniture in order, in superintending the cooks, or in working gauze and tiffany; for she would predict, with some certainty, that he would neglect hiz proper bizziness. In the same manner, a man iz cautious of forming a connection with a woman, whoze predilection for the sciences might take her attention from necessary family concerns.

Ladies however are not generally charged with a too strong attachment to books. It iz necessary that they should be wel acquainted with every thing that respects life and manners; with a knowlege of the human hart and the graceful accomplishments. The greatest misfortune iz, that your erly studies are not always wel directed; and you are permitted to devour a thousand volumes of fictitious nonsense, when a smaller number of books, at less trubble and expense, would furnish you with more valuable trezures of knowlege.

To be _lovely_ then you must be content to be _wimen_; to be mild, social and sentimental; to be acquainted with all that belongs to your department, and leeve the masculine virtues, and the profound researches of study, to the province of the other sex.

That it may be necessary, for political purposes, to consider man az the superior in authority, iz to me probable. I question whether a different maxim would not destroy your own happiness.

A man iz pleezed with the deference hiz wife shows for hiz opinions; he often loves her even for her want of information, when it creates a kind of dependence upon hiz judgement. On the other hand, a woman always despises her husband for hiz inferiority in understanding and knowlege, and blushes at the figure he makes in the company of men who possess superior talents. Do not theze facts justify the order of society, and render some difference in rank between the sexes, necessary to the happiness of both? But this superiority iz comparativ, and in some mezure, mutual. In many things, the woman iz az much superior to her husband, az he iz to her, in any article of information. They depend on eech other, and the assumption of any prerogativ or superiority in domestic life, iz a proof that the union iz not perfect; it iz a strong evidence the parties _are_ not, or _wil_ not be happy.

Ladies are often ridiculed for their loquaciousness. But ridicule iz not the worst punishment of this fault. However witty, sprightly and sentimental your conversation may be, depend on it, az a maxim that holds without exception, that the person who talks incessantly, wil soon ceese to be respected. From congress to private families, the remark iz tru, that a man or woman who talks much, loozes all influence. To your sex, talkativness iz very injurious; for a man wil hardly ever chooze a noizy loquacious woman for hiz companion. A delicate rezerv iz a becuming, a commanding characteristic of an amiable woman; the want of which no brilliant accomplishments wil supply. A want of ability to converse, iz scarcely so much censured, az a want of discretion to know when to speek and when to be silent.

In the choice of husbands, my fair reeders, what shall I say? It haz been said or insinuated, that you prefer men of inferior talents. This iz not tru. You are sensible that a good address and a respectful attention, are the qualities which most generally recommend to the esteem of both sexes. A philosopher, who iz absent and stupid, wil not please az a companion; but of two persons equal in other respects, the man of superior talents iz your choice. If my obzervations hav not deceeved me, you pride yourselves in being connected with men of eminence. I mention this to contradict the opinion maintained in the Lounger, that ladies giv a sort of preference to men of inferior talents. The opinion wants extension and qualification; it extends to both sexes, when tru, but iz never tru, except when men of talents are destitute of social accomplishments.