Chapter IV: Part 4

Feb. 26. My prayer this morning was in particular, that the Lord would be pleased now to look in pity upon us, and take off His hand. Indeed, for several days my prayer has been that He would enable us to continue to trust in Him, and not lay more upon us than He would enable us to bear. This is now again Saturday. There having been given yesterday a rich supply to the matrons, I knew that not so much as usual would be required this Saturday; still I thought that 1l. 10s. would be needed. Between ten and eleven oclock this morning a parcel came from Clapham, containing 2l. 2s., with 2 frocks, 2 petticoats, 2 chemises, 2 pinafores, and 6 handkerchiefs (all new.) Thus we were richly supplied for today, for only 1l. 10s. was needed. There was moreover half-a-sovereign put into the box at my house this day by a little boy, and 2s. 6d. came in by sale of articles. Thus we were brought to the close of a week in which more than at any previous time the Lord has been pleased to try our faith. To Him most manifestly we owe it that our faith has not failed completely.

Feb. 28. Yesterday Q. Q. gave me an order for 8l. As it was left to me to lay out the money as I thought well, I put 4l. of it to the School-Fund, and 4l. to the Orphan-Fund. Thus both parts of the work have been again most seasonably helped, as today the teachers in the Day-Schools greatly needed some money for themselves. Today 13s. was received for the Orphans.

March 2. Yesterday I found a sovereign in the Orphan-box at my house; received 9s. 2 3/4d. from three little boys, being the produce of their Orphan-box; 2s. 6d. for Reports; and 1l. 10s., being the profit of the sale of ladies baskets. Thus we were again supplied for yesterday and today. This evening were also sent, by order of an Irish sister, 33 1/2 lbs. of woollen yarn. Respecting this donation it is to be remarked, that last Saturday we had asked the Lord in our prayer-meeting, that He would be pleased to send us means to purchase worsted, in order that the boys might go on with their knitting.

March 3. Yesterday 5s. came in, and this evening a sovereign, when there was now again great need, there being no money in hand.

March 5. Saturday. It was not a small deliverance, that the Lord sent this morning, between ten and eleven oclock, 2l. 10s. from Edinburgh, when there were no means in hand to meet this days necessities, nay, not even the means to procure a dinner, as only 4s. had come in yesterday.--Evening. About eight oclock a gentleman called on me. He said "I come at a late hour, but I trust not the less acceptable on that account. I bring you a little money for the Orphans." He then gave me two sovereigns. When I requested him to give me his name, he told me, that if the giving of his name would be of any benefit he would do so, but as it would not, I might simply put down in the Report "Sent," for he was sure that the Lord had sent him.--I believe it, for the help came most seasonably and in answer to prayer. There was likewise taken out of the box in my house half-a-sovereign.

March 9. At a time of the greatest need, both with regard to the Day-Schools and the Orphans, so much so that we could not have gone on any longer without help, I received this day 10l. from a brother who lives near Dublin. The money was divided between the Day-Schools and the Orphan-Houses. The following little circumstance is to be noticed respecting this donation:--As our need was so great, and my soul was, through grace, truly waiting upon the Lord, I looked out for supplies in the course of this morning. The post, however, was out, and no supplies had come. This did not in the least discourage me. I said to myself, the Lord can send means without the post, or even now, though the post is out, by this very delivery of letters He may have sent means, though the money is not yet in my hands. It was not long after I had thus spoken to myself, when, according to my hope in God, we were helped; for the brother who sent us the 10l., had this time directed his letter to the Boys-Orphan-House, whence it was sent to me.

March 11. Yesterday a box arrived from one of the Northern Counties, respecting which the donor had requested that neither the articles which it contained, nor the name of the place whence it came, should be mentioned in the public account. I, therefore, only state here that thus the Lord has again most seasonably helped us, besides giving us a fresh proof, in raising up this new and anonymous donor, that He does not cease to care for us. It is intended to apply the produce of the articles contained in the box partly for the Orphans, and partly for the other objects. Though the box arrived only yesterday, we are even this day helped through means of it; for we disposed today of some of the articles to the amount of 9l. 6s. 6d. Of this sum 7l. 6s. 6d. was divided among the teachers, who much needed it; and 2l. was taken for the Orphan-Fund, without which the need of this day could not have been supplied in the Orphan-Houses.

March 17. From the 12th to the 16th had come in 4l. 5s. 1l 1/2d. for the Orphans. This morning our poverty, which now has lasted more or less for several months, had become exceedingly great. I left my house a few minutes after seven to go to the Orphan-Houses, to see whether there was money enough to take in the milk, which is brought about eight oclock. On my way it was especially my request, that the Lord would be pleased to pity us, even as a father pitieth his children, and that He would not lay more upon us than He would enable us to bear. I especially entreated him that He would now be pleased to refresh our hearts by sending us help. I likewise reminded Him of the consequences that would result, both in reference to believers and unbelievers, if we should have to give up the work because of want of means, and that He therefore would not permit its coming to nought. I moreover again confessed before the Lord that I deserved not that He should continue to use me in this work any longer. While I was thus in prayer, about two minutes walk from the Orphan-Houses, I met a brother who was going at this early hour to his business. After having exchanged a few words with him, I went on; but he presently ran after me, and gave me 1l. for the Orphans. Thus the Lord speedily answered my prayer. Truly, it is worth being poor and greatly tried in faith, for the sake of having day by day such precious proofs of the loving interest which our kind Father takes in every thing that concerns us. And how should our Father do otherwise? He that has given us the greatest possible proof of His love which He could have done, in giving us His own Son, surely He will with Him also freely give us all things. It is worth also being poor and greatly tried in faith, if but thereby the hearts of the children of God may be comforted and their faith strengthened; and if but those who do not know God, and who may read or hear of His dealings with us, should be led thereby to see, that faith in God is more than a mere notion, and that there is indeed reality in Christianity. In the course of this day there came in still further 13s.

March 19. Saturday. As it has often been the case on Saturdays, so it was this day in particular. We began the day in very great poverty, as only 7s. had come in since the day before yesterday. There was not one ray of light as to natural prospects. The heart would be overwhelmed, at such seasons, were there not an abundance of repose to be found by trusting in God. The trial having continued so long, and our poverty having now come to such a degree, that it was necessary we should have help, in order that the name of the Lord might not be dishonoured, I had proposed to my fellow-labourers that we should set apart this day especially for prayer. We met accordingly at half-past ten in the morning. By that time had come in 4s. 6d., 7s. 6d., and 10s. In the afternoon we met again at three, when 10s. came in. In the evening at seven we met once more, there being yet about three shillings needed, to provide all that was required. This also we received, and even 3s. more than was actually needed came in, just when we were about to separate.

Today we were also very poor with reference to our own personal necessities. In the morning we had only 2 1/2d. left, when a sister in the Lord, who knew nothing about our need, gave us the contents of her purse, being 1l. 7s.

March 23. This afternoon, when we had no money at all of our own, a brother gave us 3s. for ourselves.

March 25. During the last four days we received 6l. 12s. 2d. for the Orphans. This morning, when we were now again without any thing, a parcel arrived from Clapham, containing 1l. 10s., with a frock, a chemise, 2 petticoats, 2 pinafores, and 2 handkerchiefs (all new). About the same time was sent a post-office order from Bath for 2l. This is no small deliverance. The need has been so great during this week that the matrons, in order that there might be no lack in the way of provisions for the children, have been unable to order even half-a-ton of coals at once, and have been obliged to buy them in very small quantities.

When again we had only 6d. Left for our own personal necessities, I received 9s.

March 26. We are helped to the close of one more week with reference to our own personal necessities. During this week we have had several times not one single penny for ourselves; yet during this week also we have had all that was needed in the way of nourishing food, etc., and we have 3d. left.

March 30. From the 25th up to this day we were poor, with reference to the Orphans but the Lord helped us. This morning a brother from Devonshire came to stay for a few days with me. He gave me two sovereigns for the Orphans, and told me the following facts in connexion with them. Last year he portioned out a piece of ground, for the benefit of the Orphans. Having done so, all the members of the family were gathered together, and he asked with them the Lords blessing upon the crop that was to be planted. This prayer was often repeated afterwards, while the crop was known to belong to the Orphans; and the ground yielded a good crop. The potatoes were to have been sent, but it was considered better to sell them for the benefit of the Orphans, and now this brother brought the produce. These two sovereigns came in most seasonably, as they were only just in time to supply the dinner and other necessaries of this day; for when I came with the brother from the railway station to my house, I found an Orphan boy waiting for money, and I had nothing in hand. This evening I received still further from a sister 1l. 1s. 5 1/2d.

This morning we had not one single halfpenny left for our own necessities, when two brethren arrived to stay with us for some days, the one from Somersetshire and the other from the North of Devon. The brother from the North of Devon brought 12s. for my own use from Barnstaple, and also gave 1l. to my dear wife this afternoon for our own need. Thus we were again supplied. My mind has been quite in peace on account of our own need, and the only inconvenience that we had in this case was, that our dinner was about half an hour later than usual. Such a thing, as far as I remember, scarcely ever occurred before, and has never occurred since; but suppose it had, it is well, in some little measure, to know from ones own experience the meaning of that word, "I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need." Philip iv. 12.

March 31. This afternoon 5s. came in from Bath, and from a sister in the Lord in one of the Northern counties 5l. for the Orphans and 15l. for the other objects; and through the same donor l2s. This money arrived when there was again only 5s. in hand for the Orphans, which had come in this afternoon, and when there was particular need of means, as many pairs of shoes needed to be mended, and other extra expenses were to be met. When this money came, there was also great need of fresh supplies for the Day-Schools, on account of which this donation was a precious help from the Lord.

April 2. We received 1l. 19s. 6d. for the Orphans.

April 4. When again our little stock had been exhausted, the Lord was pleased to send in yesterday 5l. through a sister of Bristol; also by sale of articles 10s., and by Reports 5s. Today came in from Kensington 1l.

April 6. As only 3s. more had come in yesterday, the money was now again all gone, when this evening was sent from a distance a post office order for 2l.

April 8. This afternoon, when again much money was needed, we received from Plymouth 1l., and from a donor in Bristol 1l.

April 9. Saturday. Only 1s. 6d. had come in since yesterday afternoon. We needed more money than there was in hand, especially as it was Saturday, but the Lord was pleased particularly to try our faith. In the course of the morning came from some sisters in Dublin, 18 yards of calico, 34 yards of print, 43 balls of cotton, and a pair of worn ladys boots. This donation came most seasonably, as we had been mentioning repeatedly the need of calico and print in our prayers; and the sewing cotton and the pair of boots came at once into use. Moreover, this donation was a sweet encouragement to me to continue waiting upon the Lord. Evening was now approaching, and no money had yet come in for provisions, etc., which would be needed on the Lords day. About six oclock, I gave myself once more to prayer with my wife, and requested the Lord in my prayer that if the sister, who in love to Him has taken upon her the service of disposing of the articles which are given for sale, had any money in hand, He would be pleased to incline her heart to bring or send the money this evening. After this I sat down peacefully to read the Scriptures, being assured that this time also the Lord would stretch out His hand on our behalf. About half-past seven oclock the sister to whom reference has just now been made, came and brought 1l. 10s. 4d., for articles which she had sold, stating that though she was unwell, yet she felt herself constrained not to delay bringing this money. Thus we had all that was needed, and 6s. more. When I arrived with the money at the Infant-Orphan-House, about eight oclock, I found my fellow labourers in prayer, and while we still continued in prayer a sister sent a large basket of stale bread, being five brown loaves, seven bread cakes, and five French loaves.

April 11. It is this day six years since the first children were taken in, and, as usual, we are poor this day also; for only l3s. 10 1/2d. has come in since Saturday evening.

April 12. We were never in greater need than today, perhaps never in so much, when I received this morning 100l. from the East Indies. It is impossible to describe the real joy in God it gave me. My prayer had been again this morning particularly, that our Father would pity us, and now at last send larger sums. I was not in the least surprised or excited when this donation came, for I took it as that which came in answer to prayer, and had been long looked for. As it was left to me to use the money as might be most needed, I took one half of it for the Orphan Fund, and the other half for the other funds. We have thus also an answer to our prayer for oatmeal, new shoes, and for means to enable us to have the old shoes mended, means for replenishing somewhat our stores, money for some articles of clothing for the children, and also a little money for the sisters who labour in the Orphan-Houses. How precious to look to the Lord! I was always sure that He would at last send larger sums, therefore had my heart been kept in peace, though my faith had never been more tried than during the last months.

April 14. There was half-a-sovereign taken out of the box at the Boys-Orphan-House this morning. This afternoon three individuals called on me. One of them gave 6l., 3 collars, and 2 veils, and brought likewise 3 gold rings. Another of them gave me 2s. 6d. After they had left I found in my room on the mantelpiece in a paper 2 sovereigns for my own personal expenses, and in three papers 3 sovereigns for the three Orphan-Houses, and also a fourpenny piece on the floor.

April 30. As since the 14th only little more than 16l. had come in, there was again this day not quite enough in hand to supply all that was needed. However, the Lord sent from Clapham a parcel which contained 10s., 2 frocks, 2 pinafores, 2 handkerchiefs, 2 nightcaps, and 2 pieces of list.

May 1. Today was given by a brother a gold watch with a small gold chain and key. The gift was accompanied by the following note to me:

"Beloved Brother,

"A pilgrim does not want such a watch as this to make him happy; one of an inferior kind will do to show him how swiftly his time flies, and how fast he is hastening on to that Canaan where time will be no more: so that it is for you to do with this what seemeth good to you. It is the last relic of earthly vanity, and, while I am in the body, may I be kept from all idolatry.

"Your affectionate brother,

*****"

May 2. There was now again no money in hand, not even the few shillings which were required to take in the milk tomorrow morning, when a sister gave a sovereign to brother R. B. for the Orphans, whereby we are helped.

May 6. Only 3l. 10s. 2 1/2d. had been received since the 2nd, on which account there would have been only enough means in hand to provide for the breakfast tomorrow morning, when in this our fresh need 80l. was sent by the same brother who has been spoken of under "June 4, 1841," in the details respecting the other funds; and also 6l. from Great Malvern. The half of this 80l. was put to the Orphan Fund, and the other half to the other funds: the donation from Great Malvern was put to the fund for the other objects. There arrived at the same time from the East Indies by post a small parcel, containing 2 pairs of gold ear-rings, a brooch, and 2 rupees. These donations came especially in season, as they enable me to give supplies to the brethren and sisters who labour in the Day Schools and Orphan-Houses for their own personal necessities, besides meeting the wants in other respects.

May 10. 6l. l5s. 10d. more has come in since the 6th. Today, in closing the accounts, we have left at the end of this period of seventeen months, in which we have been so often penniless, the sum of 16l. 18s. 10 1/2d. for the Orphans, and 48l. 12s. 5 1/4d. for the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.

The time now seemed to us to have come, when, for the profit of the church at large, the Lords dealings with us, with reference to the various objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, should be made known by publishing another Report. For, whilst we, on purpose, had delayed it at this time five months longer than during the previous years, and that during a period when we were in deeper poverty than during any previous time; yet, as from the commencement it had appeared to me important, from time to time to make known the Lords dealings with us, so I judged it profitable still, to seek to comfort, to encourage, to exhort, to instruct, and to warn the dear children of God by the printed accounts of the Lords goodness to us.

The following are a few additional remarks with reference to the period of the seventeen months previous to May 10, 1842.

1. Though our trials of faith during these seventeen months lasted longer, and were sharper than during any previous period, yet during all this time the Orphans had every thing that was needful in the way of nourishing food, the necessary articles of clothing, etc. Indeed I should rather at once send the children back to their relations than keep them without sufficient maintenance.

2. I desire that all the children of God who may read these details may thereby be led to increased and more simple confidence in God for every thing which they may need under any circumstances, and that these many answers to prayer may encourage them to pray, particularly as it regards the conversion of their friends and relations, their own progress in grace and knowledge, the state of the saints whom they may know personally, the state of the church of Christ at large, and the success of the preaching of the Gospel. Especially I affectionately warn them against being led away by the device of Satan, to think that these things are peculiar to me, and cannot be enjoyed by all the children of God; for though, as has been stated before, every believer is not called upon to establish Orphan-Houses, Charity Schools, etc., and trust in the Lord for means, yet all believers are called upon, in the simple confidence of faith, to cast all their burdens upon Him, to trust in him for every thing, and not only to make every thing a subject of prayer, but to expect answers to their petitions which they have asked according to His will, and in the name of the Lord Jesus.--Think not, dear reader, that I have the gift of faith, that is, that gift of which we read in 1 Cor. xii. 9, and which is mentioned along with "the gifts of healing," "the working of miracles," "prophecy," and that on that account I am able to trust in the Lord. It is true that the faith, which I am enabled to exercise, is altogether Gods own gift; it is true that He alone supports it, and that He alone can increase it; it is true that, moment by moment, I depend upon Him for it, and that, if I were only one moment left to myself, my faith would utterly fail; but it is not true that my faith is that gift of faith which is spoken of in 1 Cor. xii. 9, for the following reasons.

1, The faith which I am enabled to exercise with reference to the Orphan-Houses and my own temporal necessities, is not that "faith" of which it is said in 1 Cor. xiii. 2 (evidently in allusion to the faith spoken of in 1 Cor. xii. 9), "Though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity (love), I am nothing"; but it is the self-same faith which is found in every believer, and the growth of which I am most sensible of to myself; for, by little and little, it has been increasing for the last fifty-six years.

2, This faith which is exercised respecting the Orphan-Houses and my own temporal necessities, shows itself in the same measure, for instance, concerning the following points: I have never been permitted to doubt during the last fifty-six years that my sins are forgiven, that I am a child of God, that I am beloved of God, and that I shall be finally saved; because I am enabled, by the grace of God, to exercise faith upon the word of God, and believe what God says in those passages which settle these matters (1 John v. 1-Gal. iii. 26-Acts x. 43-Romans x. 9, 10-John iii. 16, etc.)--Further, at the time when I thought I should be insane (though there was not the least ground for thinking so), as recorded on pages 209, 210, and 223, I was in peace, quite in peace; because my soul believed the truth of that word, "We know that all things work together for good to them that love God." Rom. viii. 28.--Further, When my brother in the flesh, and my dear aged father died, and when concerning both of them I had no evidence whatever that they were saved (though I dare not say that they are lost, for I know it not); yet my soul was at peace, perfectly at peace, under this great trial, this exceedingly great trial, this trial which is one of the greatest perhaps which can befall a believer. And what was it that gave me peace? My soul laid hold on that word, "Shall not the judge of all the earth do right!" This word, together with the whole character of God, as He has revealed Himself in His holy word, settled all questionings. I believed what He has said concerning Himself, and I was at peace, and have been at peace ever since, concerning this matter.--Further, When the Lord took from me a beloved infant, my soul was at peace, perfectly at peace; I could only weep tears of joy when I did weep. And why? Because my soul laid hold in faith on that word: "Of such is the kingdom of Heaven." Matthew xix. 14. Believing, therefore, as I did, upon the ground of this word, my soul rejoiced, instead of mourning, that my beloved infant was far happier with the Lord, than with me.--Further, When sometimes all has been dark, exceedingly dark, with reference to my service among the saints, judging from natural appearances yea, when I should have been overwhelmed indeed in grief and despair, had I looked at things after the outward appearance: at such times I have sought to encourage myself in God, by laying hold in faith on His mighty power, His unchangeable love, and His infinite wisdom, and I have said to myself: God is able and willing to deliver me, if it be good for me; for it is written: "He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?" Rom. viii. 32. This, this it was which, being believed by me through grace, kept my soul in peace.--Further, When in connection with the Orphan-Houses, Day Schools, etc., trials have come upon me which were far heavier than the want of means, when lying reports were spread that the Orphans had not enough to eat, or that they were cruelly treated in other respects, and the like; or when other trials, still greater, but which I cannot mention, have befallen me in connexion with this work, and that at a time when I was nearly a thousand miles absent from Bristol, and had to remain absent week after week: at such times my soul was stayed upon God; I believed His word of promise which was applicable to such cases; I poured out my soul before God, and arose from my knees in peace, because the trouble that was in the soul was in believing prayer cast upon God, and thus I was kept in peace, though I saw it to be the will of God to remain far away from the work.

--Further, When I needed houses, fellow-labourers, masters and mistresses for the Orphans or for the Day Schools, I have been enabled to look for all to the Lord, and trust in Him for help.--Dear reader, I may seem to boast; but, by the Grace of God, I do not boast in thus speaking. From my inmost soul I do ascribe it to God alone that He has enabled me to trust in Him, and that hitherto He has not suffered my confidence in Him to fail. But I thought it needful to make these remarks, lest any one should think that my depending upon God was a particular gift given to me, which other saints have no right to look for; or lest it should be thought that this my depending upon Him had only to do with the obtaining of MONEY by prayer and faith. By the grace of God I desire that my faith in God should extend towards EVERY thing, the smallest of my own temporal and spiritual concerns, and the smallest of the temporal and spiritual concerns of my family, towards the saints among whom I labour, the church at large, everything that has to do with the temporal and spiritual prosperity of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, etc. Dear reader, do not think that I have attained in faith (and how much less in other respects!) to that degree to which I might and ought to attain; but thank God for the faith which He has given me, and ask Him to uphold and increase it. And lastly, once more, let not Satan deceive you in making you think that you could not have the same faith, but that it is only for persons who are situated as I am. When I lose such a thing as a key, I ask the Lord to direct me to it, and I look for an answer to my prayer; when a person with whom I have made an appointment does not come, according to the fixed time, and I begin to be inconvenienced by it, I ask the Lord to be pleased to hasten him to me, and I look for an answer; when I do not understand a passage of the word of God, I lift up my heart to the Lord, that He would be pleased, by His holy Spirit, to instruct me, and I expect to be taught, though I do not fix the time when, and the manner how it should be; when I am going to minister in the Word, I seek help from the Lord, and while I in the consciousness of natural inability as well as utter unworthiness, begin this His service, I am not cast down, but of good cheer, because I look for His assistance, and believe that He, for His dear Sons sake, will help me. And thus in other of my temporal and spiritual concerns I pray to the Lord, and expect an answer to my requests; and may not you do the same, dear believing reader? Oh! I beseech you, do not think me an extraordinary believer, having privileges above other of Gods dear children, which they cannot have; nor look on my way of acting as something that would not do for other believers. Make but trial! Do but stand still in the hour of trial, and you will see the help of God, if you trust in Him. But there is so often a forsaking the ways of the Lord in the hour of trial, and thus the food of faith, the means whereby our faith may be increased, is lost. This leads me to the following important point. You ask, How may I, a true believer, have my faith strengthened? The answer is this

I. "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." James i. 17. As the increase of faith is a good gift, it must come from God, and therefore He ought to be asked for this blessing.

II. The following means, however, ought to be used: 1, The careful reading of the word of God, combined with meditation on it. Through reading of the word of God, and especially through meditation on the word of God, the believer becomes more and more acquainted with the nature and character of God, and thus sees more and more, besides His holiness and justice, what a kind, loving, gracious, merciful, mighty, wise, and faithful Being He is, and, therefore, in poverty, affliction of body, bereavement in his family, difficulty in his service, want of a situation or employment, he will repose upon the ability of God to help him, because he has not only learned from His word that He is of almighty power and infinite wisdom, but he has also seen instance upon instance in the Holy Scriptures in which His almighty power and infinite wisdom have been actually exercised in helping and delivering His people; and he will repose upon the willingness of God to help him, because he has not only learned from the Scriptures what a kind, good, merciful, gracious, and faithful being God is, but because he has also seen in the word of God, how in a great variety of instances He has proved Himself to be so. And the consideration of this, if God has become known to us through prayer and meditation on His own word, will lead us, in general at least, with a measure of confidence to rely upon Him: and thus the reading of the word of God, together with meditation on it, will be one especial means to strengthen our faith. 2, As with reference to the growth of every grace of the Spirit, it is of the utmost importance that we seek to maintain an upright heart and a good conscience, and, therefore, do not knowingly and habitually indulge in those things which are contrary to the mind of God, so it is also particularly the case with reference to the growth in faith. How can I possibly continue to act faith upon God, concerning any thing, if I am habitually grieving Him, and seek to detract from the glory and honour of Him in whom I profess to trust, upon whom I profess to depend? All my confidence towards God, all my leaning upon Him in the hour of trial will be gone, if I have a guilty conscience, and do not seek to put away this guilty conscience, but still continue to do things which are contrary to the mind of God. And if, in any particular instance, I cannot trust in God, because of the guilty conscience, then my faith is weakened by that instance of distrust; for faith with every fresh trial of it either increases by trusting God, and thus getting help, or it decreases by not trusting Him; and then there is less and less power of looking simply and directly to Him, and a habit of self-dependence is begotten or encouraged. One or other of these will always be the case in each particular instance. Either we trust in God, and in that case we neither trust in ourselves, nor in our fellowmen, nor in circumstances, nor in any thing besides; or we no trust in one or more of these, and in that case do NOT trust in God. 3, If we, indeed, desire our faith to be strengthened, we should not shrink from opportunities where our faith may be tried, and, therefore, through the trial, be strengthened. In our natural state we dislike dealing with God alone. Through our natural alienation from God we shrink from Him, and from eternal realities. This cleaves to us more or less, even after our regeneration. Hence it is, that, more or less, even as believers, we have the same shrinking from standing with God alone,--from depending upon Him alone,--from looking to Him alone:--and yet this is the very position in which we ought to be, if we wish our faith to be strengthened. The more I am in a position to be tried in faith with reference to my body, my family, my service for the Lord, my business, etc., the more shall I have opportunity of seeing Gods help and deliverance; and every fresh instance, in which He helps and delivers me, will tend towards the increase of my faith. On this account, therefore, the believer should not shrink from situations, positions, circumstances, in which his faith may be tried; but should cheerfully embrace them as opportunities where he may see the hand of God stretched out on his behalf, to help and deliver him, and whereby he may thus have his faith strengthened. 4, The last important point for the strengthening of our faith is, That we let God work for us, when the hour of the trial of oar faith comes, and do not work a deliverance of our own. Wherever God has given faith, it is given, among other reasons, for the very purpose of being tried. Yea, however weak our faith may be, God will try it; only with this restriction, that as, in every way, He leads on gently, gradually, patiently, so also with reference to the trial of our faith. At first our faith will be tried very little in comparison with what it may be afterwards; for God never lays more upon us than He is willing to enable us to bear. Now when the trial of faith comes, we are naturally inclined to distrust God, and to trust rather in ourselves, or in our friends, or in circumstances. We will rather work a deliverance of our own somehow or other, than simply look to God and wait for His help. But if we do not patiently wait for Gods help, if we work a deliverance of our own, then at the next trial of our faith it will be thus again, we shall be again inclined to deliver ourselves; and thus with every fresh instance of that kind, our faith will decrease; whilst, on the contrary, were we to stand still in order to see the salvation of God, to see His hand stretched out on our behalf, trusting in Him alone, then our faith would be increased, and with every fresh case in which the hand of God is stretched out on our behalf in the hour of the trial of our faith, our faith would be increased yet more. Would the believer, therefore, have his faith strengthened, he must especially, give time to God, who tries his faith in order to prove to His child, in the end, how willing he is to help and deliver him, the moment it is good for him.

I now return, dear reader, to the Narrative, giving you some further information with reference to the 17 months, from December 10, 1840, to May 18, 1842, as it respects the Orphan-Houses, and other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad, besides the facts of which mention has been already made.

During this period also--1, Two Sunday Schools were entirely supported by the funds of the Institution. 2, There were two adult schools, one for females, and one for males, entirely supported during these 17 months, in which on two evenings of the week the males, and on two evenings the females were instructed, quite gratuitously, in reading and writing, and were furnished with books and writing materials gratuitously. There were, during these 17 months, 344 adults taught in these two schools, and on May 10, 1842, the number under instruction amounted to 110. The chief object of these adult schools is, to teach grown up persons to read, in order that they may themselves be able to read the Holy Scriptures; but, at the same time, those who teach them take opportunity to point out the way of salvation to them, and, while the word of God is read, they seek to make remarks on the portions which are read.--3, There were, during these 17 months, also six Day Schools entirely supported by the funds of the Institution, three for boys and three for girls. These schools are principally intended to enable persons of the poorer classes of the inhabitants of Bristol, to send their children to school, either entirely free, or on paying only the fifth or sixth part of the expenses connected with the instruction which the children receive; they are also, especially, intended to keep believing parents, who have not much means, from the necessity of sending their children to unbelievers for instruction. On May 10, 1842, the number of the children, who attended these Day Schools, was 363; and the total number, who from the formation of the Institution on. March 5, 1834, up to May 10, 1842, had been instructed in the Day Schools, which are supported by the funds of the Institution, amounts to 2616.--4, During these 17 months, 798 copies of the Holy Scriptures were circulated, and from the commencement of the Institution, up to May 10, 1842, 6,842 copies. 5, During these 17 months was spent for Missionary purposes, the sum of 126l. 15s. 3d. of the funds of the Institution, whereby assistance was rendered to the work of God in Jamaica, in Australia, in Canada, and in the East Indies. 6, At the commencement of these 17 months, i.e. on December 10, 1840, a new object was begun., the circulation of such publications as may be instrumental, with the blessing of God, to benefit both unbelievers and believers. We laid out for this object, during these 17 months, from December 10, 1840, to May 10, 1842, the sum of 62l. 17s. 4d., for which twenty-two thousand one hundred and ninety such little publications were purchased, and of which number nineteen thousand six hundred and nine were actually given away.--7, There were received into the three Orphan-Houses, from Dec. 10, 1840, to May 10, 1842, 15 Orphans, who, together with those who were in the houses on Dec. 10, 1840, make up 106 in all. Of these, five girls were sent out to service, two boys and one girl were apprenticed, one girl was removed by a lady who had placed her for a time under our care, and one was sent back to his relations, as he was injurious to the other children.

There were on May 10, 1842, 96 Orphans in the three houses, i.e. 30 in the Girls-Orphan-House, 37 in the Infant-Orphan-House, and 29 in the Boys-Orphan-House. Besides this, three apprentices were supported by the funds of the Institution, so that the total number was 99. The number of Orphans who were under our care from April, 1836, to May 10, 1842, amounts to 144.

I notice further the following points in connexion with the Orphan-Houses.

Without any one having been asked for any thing by me, the sum of 5,276l. 14s. 8d. was given to me from the beginning of the work up to May 16, 1842, as the result of prayer to God. Besides this, also, many articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, &c.--During these 17 months we had very little sickness in the three houses, and not one of the children died. I desire publicly to state this, and in it to acknowledge the hand of God.

The total of the expenditure for the various objects of the Institution, exclusive of the Orphan-Houses, during these 17 months, amounted to 710l. 11s. 5d.; the total of the income amounted to 746l. 1s. 0 1/2d. The total of the expenditure for the three Orphan-Houses, from December 10, 1840, to May 10, 1842, amounted to 1,337l. 15s. 2 3/4d.; the total of the income amounted to 1,339l. 13s. 7d.

May 11, 1842. When the accounts were closed last evening, the balance in hand for the Orphans was 16l. 18s. 10 1/2d., though the actual amount for use at present is only 6l. 8s. 10 1/2d. as 10l. 10s. is put by for the rent.--With this 6l. 8s. 10 1/2d. therefore we had to begin again the work, whilst there were 107 persons to be provided for with all they required.

From May 11 to May 27, we were always so provided for by the Lord, that we received fresh donations before the last money was spent, for there came in 28l. 15s. 8 1/2d.; but now we should not have had sufficient for the need of tomorrow, May 28th, when today there arrived a parcel from Kendal, containing 6 frocks, 5 tippets, 6 pinafores, 6 chemises, 2 shirts, 3 aprons, and the following donations in money: with Ps. xxvii., 10s.; Proverbs iii. 5, 6, 2s. 6d.; from a sister who earns her own, bread by her daily exertions, 10s.; from another individual 10s. There came in also by sale of articles, given for that purpose, 2l. 1s.

May 28. There came in still further today 3l. 4s. 4d., so that we are richly provided, with all we need, and have more than enough.

June 3. For several days past I had not been particularly led to pray for means for the Orphans. Last evening, however, I did so, as we had now again no money in hand, there having come in only 10l. 2s. 2d. during the last five days; and in answer to my request 2l. 19s. 6d. came in this morning.

June 6. Monday. There was now no money at all in hand. I had therefore asked the Lord for fresh supplies, and since Saturday afternoon the following sums have come in: By sale of articles 1l. 4s., FROM AN AGED SERVANT, ILL IN A MORTAL DISEASE, 4l.; anonymously put into the boxes at Bethesda yesterday, in a small parcel, 11s., a gold ring, 3 small Spanish silver coins, and a small American silver coin; ditto 4d.; by a sister was given 6d., and by another sister 5s.; anonymously put into the box at Callow-hill Street Chapel 2s.

This morning I received from A. B. 50l., to be laid out as it might be most useful. I took the whole of this sum for the other objects, as the disposal of it was left to me, whereby I am enabled to order a fresh supply of tracts, some Bibles and Testaments, and to give something to the brethren and sisters who labour in the Day Schools, who are much in need of some supply. The stock of Bibles, as far as I remember, has never been smaller than it is now, for several years; there is likewise only a small quantity of tracts left, and the demand for them is great on the part of brethren who gratuitously circulate them. How kind therefore of the Lord to give us this supply! If our work be His work, He is sure to provide the means for it!

June 9. On the 7th came in 3s. for the Orphans,--on the 8th 2l. 6s. 2d. Today was sent anonymously from Bath 5l., with the words "Jehovah Jireh." These words are very appropriate; for the money came after I had asked the Lord for some, and is required for our need tomorrow.

June 11. Saturday afternoon. As only 6s. 10d. had come in since the 9th for the Orphans, there remains no money in hand for Monday.--Saturday evening. The Lord has already sent a little towards the need of next week, as an earnest, that during the coming week also He will be mindful of us for this evening came in by sale of articles, 1l. 8s. 7d., and a little boy gave 3s. 7 1/4d.

June 12. There came in further today 7s. 6d.; anonymously 10s.; ditto 2l.; and with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, was given. 10s.

June 15. As since the 12th only 1l. 13s. 6d. had come in, there was now again no money in hand for the need of to-morrow. I gave myself therefore to prayer. Immediately after I had risen from my knees, I was told that some money had been put into the box at my house. I opened the box, and found it to be a sovereign.

June 16. The sovereign which yesterday had been put into the box at my house was not enough. On my morning walk I asked the Lord, therefore, for more means, and when I came home I found that 1l. 16s. had been sent for articles given for sale, There came in still further by sale of articles, 1l. 1s. 6d., and by a donation from Leeds, 2l. 10s. 3d.

June 17. 1l. 18s. 9d. came in today.

June 18. Having had to meet the expenses of the funeral of a dear Orphan boy, who, after having been two years in fellowship with the saints, and walked consistently, had fallen asleep, all means were now again gone, when an Irish lady sent this morning 10l., of which 8l. is to be used for the Orphans, and 2l. for my own personal necessities. Thus we are again supplied for the-present.

June 25. As, besides the 8l. which came in on the 18th, only 9l. 14s. 10 1/2d. had been received since, there was now not sufficient in hand for the expenses of the day; but the Lord, as usual, made it manifest, that He is mindful of our need, and that He hears our prayers. For there was sent today from Clapham a parcel, containing a frock, a pinafore, and 13s. 4d. Also, through the same donors, in the same parcel, were sent from Brighton, 8 frocks, 6 pinafores, 6 handkerchiefs, 3 chemises, 2 petticoats, and 10s. Likewise a Christian lady sent a sovereign; and 1s. 6d. came in by sale of Reports, and 1l. 18s. 0 1/2d. by sale of articles. Thus we were abundantly supplied for the need of today.

July 1. All our money was again spent, as only 8l. l5s. 4d. had come in since the 25th, when last evening an Orphan arrived from Barnstaple, with whom there was sent 2l. 5s. 10d. The Lord has repeatedly ordered it so, that when Orphans have been brought, money has been sent with them, whereby our present necessities have been supplied.--I add here, that we do not require any money to be sent with them, nor is there any interest required to get the children admitted, and much less is the Institution of a sectarian spirit, so that only persons of certain religious views could succeed in making application for the admission of Orphans; but without respect of persons, from all parts of the kingdom, so long as there is room, needy children, bereaved of both parents, may be admitted.--I received today still further 10l. And likewise, by six other donations, came in 1l. 10s. 2d. We are now again for a few days supplied.

July 6, On July 2nd came in 10s.; on the 3rd 2l. 2s. 9d.; on the 4th 1l. 18s.; on the 5th came in four donations from Hackney, amounting to 3l. 6s.; a donation of 2l. from Plymouth; a donation of 4s. from a brother in Bristol; by sale of Reports 5s. 3d.; anonymously was sent from Fairford 3l.; a Christian lady gave 1l., and the following articles were sent from Tottenham: a two-guinea piece, a quarter-guinea piece, a half doubloon, (a Portuguese gold coin), a gold coin of James I., and two gold chains. Likewise this evening came in with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, 3l. 1s. 6d., and 3s. 6d. by sale of stockings. By the donations of yesterday and today I am enabled to meet many needful expenses, such as ordering oatmeal from Scotland, buying peas, rice, Scotch barley, materials for boys clothes, &c.

July 9. On July 7, 8, 9, had only come in 3l. 11s., so that now today, Saturday, after I had supplied the matrons with what they needed for today and for tomorrow, all the money was again spent; yet we had been, by the good hand of the Lord, brought through another week, and nothing, that had been needed during the week, had been lacking.

July 11. Monday. Yesterday and today came in 3l. 9s. 6d. This money was quite enough for the need of today; and when now again, after this days need had been met, scarcely any thing was left, the boxes in the Orphan-Houses were opened, which contained 2l. 3s. 4 1/2d.

July 12. 13s. 9d. came in today.

July 13. When our purse was now again empty, the Lord kindly sent 5l. this morning from Glasgow.