Chapter VI: Part 6

Feb. 22. Only 3s. 9d. came in yesterday by sale of Reports. When this morning the letter bag was sent from the Orphan-Houses for supplies, I found a note in it, containing this: "For today there is no need of mentioning any sum, as we can make that do, which the Lord may please to send." The 3s. 9d. was all I had to send, waiting upon the Lord for more--There came in further in the course of the morning by sale of stockings 3s., and by sale of other articles, given for that purpose, 2s. 6d. Our need also led us to open the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, in which we found 11s. 6d. Thus we had a altogether, 1l. 0s. 9d., whereby we were helped through this day.

Feb. 23. Last evening I received from Bath a small parcel, containing a small telescope, a set of mother-o-pearl counters, 7 silver buckles, and a broken silver brooch. This morning the bag was brought for money, but I had nothing in hand. WHILST THE BOY WHO BROUGHT THE LETTER BAG WAS WAITING, to receive the answer, the sister who disposes of the articles which are given for sale, (and who was no more acquainted with the state of our funds than any other person), brought 11s. 4d. With this we began the day, again trusting in the Lord for further help.

Feb. 24. Nothing more came in, in the course of yesterday morning; but a little after four oclock I received a letter from Jersey, containing a post-office-order for 1l. for the Orphans. The donor writes thus: "Herewith you will find a post-office-order for 1l., being this years subscription. I had a desire to defer it to the 1st of June; but owing to my mind having been deeply worked on the present day, that this was the acceptable time, I make no scruple of availing myself of this evenings post, which I hope will be acceptable." Jersey, 20 Feb. 1843--How manifest is the hand of the Lord in this matter! He stirs up this donor, who lives at such a distance, to remember our need, whose money indeed came in a most acceptable time.--Thus we were again helped for yesterday. A few minutes after having received the 1l. from Jersey, a brother near Bruton sent me 15s. The money, given by this donor, being always left entirely to my disposal, I took this 15s. towards the need of the Orphans for today. This mornings post brought me half-a-sovereign from London. The letter contained only these words: "London, Feb. 22, 1843. Psalm xxvii. 14." I put this half-sovereign to the Orphan-Fund. There came in also by knitting 1s. 4d., and through the boxes in my house 6 1/2d. Thus we had for the need of this day again, by the good hand of our Lord upon us, 1l. 6s. 10 1/2d.

Feb. 25. Saturday. Yesterday afternoon and evening 12s. 8d. came in by knitting, and 1s. 9d. besides. This was all we had wherewith to begin the day. There came in still further in the course of today: by the boxes in the Orphan-Houses 5d., by knitting 7s. 8d., by a donation 1s., by sale of Reports 4s., by sale of an article, given for that purpose, 10s., and one of the labourers gave 6s. Thus the Lord gave us again 2l. 5s. 6d. for todays need, and we are helped to the close of another week.--As a fresh proof, that our loving Father is still mindful of us, we received this evening a parcel and a box from Plymouth: the former contained a musical box and a piece of worsted work, the latter 10 china ornaments: all to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans.

Feb. 27. Monday. Nothing at all has come in since Saturday. When therefore this day began, we had no means to provide what was needed. My comfort, however, was, that our Father knew that we were needy, and that kept me at this time also in peace. Between 10 and 11 oclock this morning I received 1l. 10s. from Guernsey. The brother, who sent the money, writes, that he had delayed in sending it, and hoped that "this was the Lords time," which indeed it is, for we are thus supplied for this day.

Feb. 28. Yesterday afternoon. 3s. were put into the box in my room, which our need brought out, as again this day began without our having anything in hand. I received still further to day from a brother at Crediton. 2l., being the produce of an Orphan-box in his house.--This evening I was at a Scripture-Reading-Meeting, at a brothers house. On leaving I found half-a-crown in one of my gloves, evidently put there on purpose, which I put to the Orphan-Fund, and it was immediately taken to the Orphan-Houses. Thus we were helped through this day also, but have nothing in hand towards tomorrow. There came in also for knitting 2s. 11d. Thus we had 2l. 8s. 5d. for this day.

March 1. There came in this morning by sale of some articles 1l. 5s. About dinner time a clergyman, who had had one of my Narratives lent to him by one of the labourers in the Orphan-Houses, returned it with 1l. 10s. for the Orphans, from himself and his two sisters. Thus we were again provided with all we needed for today.--This evening the Lord helped still further. I received with Eccles. ix. 10, 3l. From sister M. B. came in 1l., by knitting of the Infant-Orphans 3s. 6d., and by two donations 6s.

March 2. This day the Lord has again looked upon us in His faithful love, and sent us help, whereby I am enabled to replenish our stores with rice, peas, and Scotch barley, and am also able to put by the rent. There was found in the boxes in the Orphan-Houses 2l. 3s. 7d., which had been put in by some visitors, who saw the Orphan-Houses yesterday afternoon. There were also given to me 63 old silver coins, the greater part of them old English coins, the others old Spanish and French coins, also one crown piece current. There came in also by sale of articles and donations, besides the money for the silver coins, l6s. 10d. Thus the Lord has dealt bountifully with us these two days, after many days of poverty.

March 6. Monday. The last money had been given out last Saturday, and only 6d. had come in yesterday, whilst our need for today, I knew, would be about 2l. About a quarter of am hour before I was called on for money, I received from a brother at Plymouth a post-office-order for 2l. 11s. 6d., and by the same post, anonymously, a French cambric handkerchief and half-a-crown. Thus our present need was again more than met.

March 7. There came in today 2l. l3s. 10d.

March 8. Today we required 3l. 10s. to supply comfortably all that was needed in the Orphan-Houses, but only 2l. 1s. 10d. was in hand. How kind therefore of the Lord to send me a large donation, whereby we were richly supplied! The particulars of it are these:--On Oct. 25, 1842, I had a long conversation with a sister in the Lord, who opened her heart to me. On leaving me I told her, (because I thought it might prove a comfort to her at some future time,) that my house and my purse were hers, and that I should be glad if she would have one purse with me. This I said, I repeat, because I judged that at some future time it might prove a comfort to her in an hour of trial, having at the same time, (to judge from a circumstance which had occurred two days before,) every reason to believe, that she had not 5l. of her own. This sister, after I had said so, readily took me at my word, and said, I shall be glad of it, adding presently that she had 500l. The moment I heard that, I drew back, and said, that had I known that she had any money, I should not have made her this offer, and then gave her my reason why I had supposed she had no property at all. She then assured me that she possessed 500l., and that she had never seen it right, to give up this money, else she would have done so; but that as God had put this sum into her hands, without her seeking, she thought that it was a provision which the Lord had made for her. I replied scarcely any thing to this; but she asked me to pray for her with reference to this matter. This whole conversation about the money occupied but very few minutes, and it all took place after the sister had risen and was on the point of leaving me.--After she was gone, I asked the Lord, that He would be pleased to make this dear sister so happy in Himself and enable her so to realize her true riches and inheritance in the Lord Jesus, and the reality of her heavenly calling, that she might be constrained by the love of Christ, cheerfully to lay down this 500l. at His feet. From that time I repeated this my request before the Lord daily, and often two, three, or four times a day; but not a single word or line passed between me and this sister on the subject, nor did I even see her; for I judged that it would be far better that she retained this money, than that by persuasion she should give it up, and afterwards perhaps regret the step she had taken, and thereby more dishonour than honour be brought on the name of the Lord. After I had thus for 24 days daily besought the Lord on behalf of this sister, I found her one day, on returning home, at my house, when she told me, that she wished to see me alone. She then said to me, that from the time she had last conversed with me, she had sought to ascertain the Lords will with reference to the 500l., and had examined the Scriptures, and prayed about it, and that she was now assured that it was the will of the Lord, she should give up this money. After she had told me this, I exhorted her, well to count the cost, and to do nothing rashly, lest she should regret the step she had taken, and to wait at least a fortnight longer before she carried out her intention. Thus we separated. On the 18th day after this conversation. I received the following letter.

"Dear Brother,

"I believe the Lord has not permitted you to grow weary of remembering me, but that He has still enabled you to bear me upon your heart in His presence. All is well with me, dear brother. Your petitions have been heard and answered; I am happy and at peace. The Lord has indeed manifested His tender care of and His great love towards me in Jesus, in inclining my heart cheerfully to lay all I have hitherto called my own, at His feet. It is a high privilege.

I write in haste to ask you (as we have now one purse) to receive the money at a bank in Bristol; I will direct it to be sent in my name, to be delivered into your hands. Etc."

As this whole circumstance is related only for the profit of the reader, and as I knew that the sister still had my letters on the subject in her possession, I wrote to her, requesting her to send them to me, at the time when I published the last account about the Orphan-House, etc. and extracts of them were given in the last Report, in so far as they might refer to the subject or tend to edification. These extracts are here reprinted. My reply to the above was this:

21, Paul Street, Kingsdown, Bristol,

Dec. 6, 1842.

"My dear Sister,

"Your letter found me in peace, and did not in the least surprise me. Dealing with God is a reality. Saints have power with Him through Jesus. It is now forty-two days since you first mentioned this matter to me. I cannot but admire the wisdom of God and His love to you in allowing me to speak to you as I did [i.e. offering her to have one purse with me; when I thought she had no earthly possessions at all], that thus this great privilege might be bestowed upon you, to give up this little sum for Him. Since that hour I have daily prayed for you, and often thrice or more in the course of the day, that the Lord would make you so happy in Himself, and help you with such faith to lay hold on all which He has given you in Jesus, that you might be constrained by love cheerfully to lay down this little sum at his feet. Thus I prayed again at six oclock this morning for you. Nor have I had the least doubt from the commencement, that the Lord did hear my prayer; yea, so fully have I been assured that I had the petition, that again and again I have thanked Him that He had answered my prayer, before I saw you eighteen days since, and before your letter came this morning. Moreover, I have been fully assured since you were last here, that He was carrying on His work in your soul with reference to this matter, and that no subtle suggestions of Satan, nor educational prejudices, nor misinterpretations of the Scriptures were able to prevail; for I had asked the Lord, by His Spirit to overcome them in you, and that, if a brothers word should be needed, He would be pleased to incline your heart to write to me: and, as no letter came, I felt fully confident, you were going forward in this matter in peace. When I had seen you this day six weeks, and learned about this little sum, I determined, never to say or write to you another word on the subject, but to leave you in the hands of the Lord. Thus I purposed again during the last eighteen days; for it was not the money given up, that I cared for in you, but the money given up unto the Lord, and from right motives. On this very account I advised you to wait one fortnight longer, though you had come to the conclusion; but now, having done so, and seeing that you are fully purposed in the Lord to be poor in this world indeed, that the more abundantly you may enjoy His riches, His inexhaustible riches, I change my advice. My word now, beloved sister, is this: "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might," and "If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them."

Delay then no longer, even as also you have no desire to delay: and the Lord will bless you abundantly in doing so, inasmuch as you do it unto Him. As you desire to intrust me with this money, I do not refuse it, knowing many ways to lay it out for Him. Etc." Then only follows the direction how the money is to be paid into my bankers hands.

On Dec. 18, 1842, I received a reply to my letter, which answer was begun to be written on Dec. 8th, but finished on the 16th. I give a few extracts of the letter: "Since I last saw you, dear brother, I have not had the slightest doubt as to what I ought to do: the word of God has been so clear to me on this head, that I have been kept resting on it; and, in answer to your prayers, no temptation has been allowed to prevail, indeed, I think I may add to arise. But I feel that temptations may come, and that I may in seasons of trial not always have faith to be able to rejoice in this privilege. My heart is so deceitful and my faith so weak, that I shall greatly need your prayers still. Will you then, if the Lord enables you, pray that I may never offend my Father by regretting in the least measure this act of obedience, which He has by His grace inclined me to carry out. I shall pray the Lord still to lay me on your heart. I felt so sure, that you were helped to pray for me, that I had thanked the Lord for His grace. I am glad you did not write, although I much value your advice; but I wished to be led by the Lord alone, after He had used you as the instrument in the first instance, and in such a way too, that I am quite sure He intended to bless you to my soul in this matter. I have asked my heart whether I am really doing this to Him. My heart assures me that I am, and not from any other motive than obedience to the written word. Before I ever saw you I had asked the Lord to make me willing to give this little sum into your hands, if it were His will I should; but His time to make me willing had not then come; even then I had, in a measure given it to you, having written a paper, desiring in case I should fall asleep in Jesus, that you might get possession of it; I had it signed by two witnesses, and I always carried it about with me when I travelled, sealed and directed to you. When I wrote this, I little thought what grace the Lord had in store for me. You will forgive my being thus tedious, but I am sure you will praise the Lord with me for His gracious dealings with me. Etc."--At the end of this letter, which was finished on Dec. 16, the sister tells me, that unexpectedly a hindrance had arisen to her having possession of the money, so that it was not likely it could be paid over to me till about the end of January, 1843.

When this letter came, it would have been naturally a great disappointment to me, as the sister had told me in a previous letter that the money should be paid into my hands, and as just at that time in a variety of ways it was desirable that I should have considerable sums. The Lord, however, enabled me immediately to lay hold on that word, "We know that all things work together for good to them that love God," Rom. viii. 28, and my soul was in peace, though we had only enough money in hand to provide for one or at the most for two days the necessary provisions in the Orphan-Houses. It was but the next day, Dec. 19, 1842, when I received 100l. from A. B., and on Dec. 22, I received 50l. from a brother in Bristol, besides other donations: so that within one week, after I had had grace to delight myself in the will of God, He gave me about 200l., whereby I was able to meet all the heavy expenses of replenishing the stores, &c., on account of which I should naturally have been tried in the payment of the money being delayed.

In reply to the letter, which I received from this sister on Dec. 18, I wrote another on. December 31, 1842, of which I give an extract on this subject. "The hand of the Lord is indeed most manifestly to be seen in this matter, concerning the money: the way in which your own mind was led; my speaking under the circumstances under which I did, when you were already risen to leave the room; the reason why I did so, i.e., mere sympathy with your circumstances, and thinking that some day or other my brotherly offer might be a comfort to you, though you should never need it, and all this when I believed that at that time you did not possess 5l.--I have continued to pray for you, or rather the Lord has enabled me every day once, twice, thrice, or even more, to remember you. The burden of my prayer still has been, that He would be pleased to make you very happy in Himself and enable you to enter into the inheritance which awaits you; further, that you may not be permitted in the least to regret the step which you have taken, but rather consider it a privilege to be permitted to give this little sum back to Him who gave it to you, and who gave Himself for you.--With reference to the delay, I cannot but rejoice. This gives you abundant opportunity to ponder the matter, and afterwards to state to any (who, judging as those who know not how rich the saints are, might blame you,) that you did not do the thing in haste. I consider this delay to be for the furtherance of the honour of the Lord. You know my advice to you, to wait at least a fortnight. That you have seen much of your unfaithfulness, &c., I consider to be an especial blessing which the Lord has bestowed upon you, lest this step you have taken should become a snare to you. Humblings last our whole life. Jesus came not to save painted but real sinners; but He has saved us, and will surely make it manifest. I have a passage laid on my heart for you, read the whole of it carefully: 2 Corinth. viii. 1-9, especially verse 9. Etc."

Day after day now passed away and the money did not come. The month of January was come to an end, and February also, and the money had not come. Thus more than one hundred and twenty days were gone by, whilst day by day I brought my petition before the Lord, that He would bless this sister, keep her steadfast in her purpose and intrust me with this money for His work in my hands. Amidst it all my heart was assured (judging from the earnestness which He had given me in prayer, and that I had only desired this matter to the praise of His name), that in His own time He would bring it about. But I never wrote one single line to the sister on the subject all this time. At last, on the one hundred and thirty-fourth day after I had daily besought the Lord about this matter, on March 8th, 1843,1 received a letter from the sister, informing me that the 500l. had been paid into the hands of my bankers.

I now wrote to the sister to inquire, whether she wished the money to be expended upon any particular objects, or whether she would leave me altogether free to expend it, as I might be led.

In reply to this she wrote me: "Dear Brother, I would still leave this little sum in the hands of Him to whom it has been given. May He alone be your guide in disposing of it. If I did express one wish, it would be, that you would make use of a part for your own or your familys present necessity." This latter point I declined entirely, thinking it not wise to take a part of this money for myself, to avoid even the appearance as if in any measure I had sought my own things in this matter, instead of the things of Jesus Christ.

The 500l. were thus portioned out: 100l. for the School-Bible-Tract and Missionary Fund. 50l. for the Employment Fund.8 50l. was taken at once for the Orphan-Fund, and afterwards also the remaining 300l. when, as I shall presently relate, the Lord pointed out to me to go forward in the Orphan work, and to establish a fourth Orphan-house.

I have related the particulars connected with this donation so minutely, in order to show, that though we may have long to wait upon the Lord, yea, though for one hundred and thirty-four days we may have daily the same petition to bring before Him, yet at last He will give us the desire of our hearts, if our petitions are according to His mind. And now I only give a few lines of a letter which I received on. July 3, 1844, from the sister who gave this donation, together with my letters for which I had asked her, in order that I may show her state of mind on the subject, after she had had it more than twenty months before her, and after she had for sixteen months actually given up the money. She writes thus: "I am thankful to say that I have never for one moment had the slightest feeling of regret; but it is wholly of the Lords abounding grace. I speak it to His praise."

On March 31, 1843, I called at the Orphan-Houses, to make certain arrangements, and one of the sisters told me by the way, that she had been asked by Miss G, who with her father occupied the house, No. 4, Wilson Street, to let me know that they wished to give up their house, if I would like to take it; but she had replied that it was of no use to tell me about it, for she was sure that I had no thought of opening another Orphan-House. When I came home, this matter greatly occupied my mind. I could not but ask the Lord again and again whether He would have me to open another Orphan-House, and whether the time was now come that I should serve Him still more extensively in this way. The more I pondered the matter, the more it appeared to me that this was the hand of God moving me onwards in this service. The following remarkable combination of circumstances struck me in particular. 1, There are more applications made for the admission of Orphans, especially of late, than we are at all able to meet, though we fill the houses as much as the health of the children and of the labourers will possibly admit. 2, If I did take another house for Orphans, it would be most desirable it should be in the same street where the other three are, as thus the labour is less, and in times of great need we are near together for prayer, the distribution of the money, &c. But since the third Orphan-House was opened in Nov. 1837, there never has been one of the larger houses in the street to be let. 3, There are about fifteen children in the Infant-Orphan-House, whom it would have been well some time ago to have removed to the house for the older girls, had there been room; but when a vacancy happened to occur in that house, there were generally several waiting to fill it up, so that unintentionally the female children in the Infant-Orphan-House remained where they were; but this is not well, nor is it according to my original intention for the Infants were intended only to be left till they are seven years old, and then to be removed to the houses for older boys and girls. This my original plan could be executed better for the future, and at once for the present, were I to open another Orphan-House. 4, I know two sisters who seem suitable labourers for this fourth Orphan-House, and who have a desire thus to be engaged. 5, There are 300l. remaining of the 500l. which I so lately received. This money may be used for the furnishing and fitting up of a new Orphan-House. So much money I have never had in hand at one time during the last five years. This seemed to me a remarkable thing, in connexion with the four other reasons. 6, The establishing of a fourth Orphan-House, which would increase our expenses several hundred pounds a year, would be, after we have gone for five years almost uninterruptedly through trials of faith, a plain proof that I have not regretted this service, and that I am not tired of this precious way of depending upon the Lord from day to day; and thus the faith of other children of God might be strengthened.--But most important, yea decidedly conclusive, as these points were; yet they did not convince me that I ought to go forward in this service, if the Spirits leading were not in connexion with them. I therefore gave myself to prayer. I prayed day after day, without saying anything to any human being. I prayed two and twenty days, without even mentioning it to my dear wife. On that very day, when I did mention it to her, and on which I had come to the conclusion, after three weeks prayer and consideration in the fear of God, to establish another Orphan-House, I received from A. B. 50l. and 1l. through him from a sister. What a striking confirmation that the Lord will help, though the necessities should increase more and more. At last, on the 24th day, having been now for several days fully assured, that God would have me go forward in this service, I went to inquire whether Mr. and Miss G. still wished to give up the house. But here I found an apparent hinderance. Having heard no wish expressed on my part to take the house, and the sister in the Orphan-Houses, with whom Miss G. had communicated, not having given her the least reason to think that I should do so, Mr. and Miss G. their altered their plans, and now purposed to remain in the house. However, I was to call again in a week, when I should receive an answer. I was not in the least discomforted by this obstacle. "Lord, if Thou hast no need of another Orphan-House, I have none," was the burden of my prayer. I was willing to do Gods will, yea to delight myself in His will. And just on this very ground, because I knew I sought not my own honour but the Lords; because I knew I was not serving myself, but the Lord in this thing; and because I knew that with so much calm, quiet, prayerful, self-questioning consideration I had gone about this business, and had only after many days, during which I had been thus waiting upon the Lord, come to the conclusion that it was the will of God I should go forward in this service: for, these reasons I felt sure (notwithstanding what Mr. and Miss G. had told me), that I should have the house. I also especially judged, that thus it would be, because I was quite in peace, when I heard of the obstacle: a plain proof that I was not in self-will going on in this matter, but according to the leading of the Holy Ghost; for if according to my natural mind I had sought to enlarge the work, I should have been excited and uncomfortable when I met with this obstacle. After a week I called again on Mr. G. And now see how God had wrought! On the same day on which I had seen Mr. G., he went out and met with a suitable house, so that when I came the second time, he was willing to let me have the one which he then occupied in Wilson Street, and as the owner accepted me as a tenant, all the difficulties were removed, so that after the first of June we began fitting up the house, and in July the first Orphans were received.

Of the donations which came in from March 8 to the end of May, 1843, and which were many, I only notice:

on April 10 a brother gave 5l., which had been saved out of house furnishing, by doing it in a plainer way.

At the end of May, 1843, I entered upon a remarkable part of my life, upon which I must dwell somewhat at length, especially as it will, by Gods blessing, still further show the Reader the preciousness of depending upon God for every thing.

It was in September or October 1841, that one day a German lady, a native of Wirtemberg, called on me. She said that she had come to England to perfect herself in English, and purposed afterwards to return to Germany to establish a boarding school for young ladies, and especially for English young ladies. Having heard that I was a German, she came to obtain my advice, and to request me to interest myself for her in getting her pupils to instruct in German, in order thus to support herself while in England. After having conversed with her for some time about these things, and given her the information which she desired, I then spoke to her about the things of God, in which conversation I soon found, that though she might have had some religious feelings from time to time, yet that she did not know the Lord. On leaving me I gave her the first and second part of my Narrative, which I thought she would read because it contained the experience of a German, and thus she would also have exercise in English. I then followed with my prayers the reading of the book, that God would be pleased to bless it to the conversion of her soul. After some time she called on me again, telling me that she had been deeply interested in reading my Narrative, and asked me whether I had any objection to her translating the book into German, with the view of getting it published on her return to Germany. My reply was that I had no right to object to it; for, in so far as translation into another language was concerned, the book was everyones property. I might have mentioned that I did not think her yet sufficiently acquainted either with the English language or the state of things in England, especially religiously, and that, as she was not converted herself, she could not give the exact translation of the book, though she were qualified with reference to the two former points; but, as I had the spiritual benefit of the individual in view, I thought thus with myself; this person has no employment at present, and by translating this book she will be kept from the many snares connected with idleness; she will by this means also make progress in English, which she is desirous of doing; but, most of all, the fact of translating a book for the press will oblige her more accurately and attentively to consider what is contained in it, than she would be obliged to do, were she simply to read it through several times, and therefore this work may, with Gods blessing, be instrumental in doing good to her soul. The last point weighed particularly with me; I therefore did not discourage her, though at the same time I did not encourage her, but left the matter to herself. As, however, she left me with the impression that she was going to translate the book, I asked the Lord to convert her soul in doing so. After a time Mrs. G. called on me again, and brought me a part of the manuscript, that I might read it over. I took it, but could not promise her to read it; for I had little prospect of doing so, for want of time. Nevertheless I read a few pages, which I found rather better translated than I had expected. After this she brought me at two or three other times considerable parts of the translation, which, however, I had never time to read. By this time the winter had passed away, and it was come to March, 1842, when all of a sudden, one Wednesday afternoon, I was seized with sharp pains, something like spasms, which were so acute that, though they passed off after about an hour, they left me so weak, that I was not able to go out to our usual meeting on that evening. About seven oclock, just when I should have been at the meeting but for this illness, Mrs. G., who for several weeks had been at Trowbridge, to finish the translation, and to instruct a young lady in German, came to take leave of me. She said she now purposed to return to Wirtemberg. Though I was very weak, yet, under these circumstances, I could not decline seeing her, as it would be in all human probability the last time that I should do so. I therefore besought the Lord to strengthen me for this service (which I soon perceived He had done), and, after a short conversation with her about her circumstances, I began to speak to her about her soul, and soon found she was heavy laden, burdened under her sins, and broken in heart. With many tears, she told me that she was a great sinner, an exceedingly great sinner. Every word she spoke gave me the impression, that all she now needed was to have the work of Christ pointed out to her, i.e. the power of His blood in cleansing from all sin, by faith in His name. I spent about two hours with her, and she left me with many tears.--I also had said to her at the beginning of the conversation with reference to the translation of my Narrative, that if she still desired to publish it, she should seek to get the assistance of a pious clergyman in Germany, who understood English well--On the next morning about nine Mrs. G. called again upon me, telling me that she could not leave Bristol without seeing me once more. She now spent about three hours more with me, in which she told me that, during the night, which she had chiefly spent in prayer and reading the word of God, she had found peace in the Lord Jesus, and that she was now happy in Him. She further told me, that, after she had translated a part of my Narrative, the Spirit of God began to work upon her heart, by convincing her that she was a great sinner. The further she went on, the more she felt what a sinner she was, till at last, when she was come towards the end of the book, she came to the conclusion to return to Germany. I now gave her some advice in reference to her return, and also what she should do with reference to her spiritual welfare, after her return to Wirtemberg. After this she left me. About two or three weeks after (in April, 1842) I received a long letter from her, written on her way homeward, by which I was still further confirmed that, although Mrs. G. was only a mere babe in Christ, yet that she was a babe, and that a real work of grace had been begun in her heart. I then wrote to her, but from that time till towards the end of May, 1843, I heard no more of her. Towards the end of May, 1843, however, I received a long letter from her, dated Stuttgart (capital of the kingdom of Wirtemberg). In this letter Mrs. G. gave me an outline of her history during the year after she had returned to her country. Suffice it here to say, that she had sought in vain to find Christians with whom she could be united in fellowship according to the truths she thought she saw in my Narrative, and according to what she had seen and heard at our meetings in. Bristol. At last, about New-year, 1843, she became acquainted with a little baptist church, which was separated from the State church, and she was after a time baptized and received into fellowship among them, which took place in Feb. 1843. Soon, however, she found things different, as to church order, etc., from what she had seen amongst us in Bristol, or from what she had learnt from my Narrative, especially with reference to close baptist principles, which in the highest and strongest degree were practised among the brethren at Stuttgart: and she wrote to me, to ask my view about that point, as she felt pained at separating from true believers, because they might not be instructed about believers baptism. Her letter was accompanied by another letter from one of the brethren of the baptist church, Dr. R--, a solicitor or barrister to the upper tribunal of the kingdom of Wirtemberg. The letter of the latter testified of the gracious spirit of the writer, but also that he likewise held the separating views of close communion, and that he, having read the translation of my Narrative in manuscript, seemed to be drawn and knit to me affectionately, but wished to have, upon Scriptural ground, my views about open communion.

Before I received these letters, I had been repeatedly asked, during my fourteen years residence in England, why I did not labour in my native country. The importance also of doing so had been pointed out to me; nor was I myself insensible to this; but my answer had always been: "I must labour where the Lord will have me to be, and as I have never seen it to be the Lords will, that I should labour in Germany, I ought not to do so." About fourteen months before I received these letters, it had been also more than ever laid on my heart by brother R. C. He had seen something of the religious state of the Continent, and he had heard still more about it, and he had found, almost every where, that when he set truth before brethren, they said, It is Scriptural, you are right; but if we were to practice this, what would be the consequences? what would become of us and our wives and children? or something of that kind. Brother C. therefore came on purpose to see me, on his return from Denmark, to lay it on my heart to visit Germany, on account of my being a native and having been led by the Lord as I had. He told me especially that he considered it of importance that I should publish my Narrative in German, in order that thus the faith of the brethren., with the Lords blessing, might be strengthened, and that they might be led to act according to the light which they had. All this seemed to me very important: but my answer was as before; I cannot go till the Lord calls me. Scarcely had I read the letters from Mrs. G. and Dr. R--, but I felt: now is the time come when I am to go to Germany; and from that time I gave myself to prayer about it. When I afterwards communicated my feeling on the subject to brother R. C. he said; I am not surprised about it, for from the time that I spoke to you on the subject, I have been constantly asking the Lord to bring it about.

--The reasons that pointed it out to me as the Lords will, that I ought to go to Germany to labour there for a season, were these. 1, I knew not of one single body of believers, who were gathered on scriptural principles. In all the States of Germany, with scarcely any exception, believers are connected with the State Churches, and the very few believers of whom I had heard that they were separated, I knew to be close Baptists, who, generally, by their most exclusive separate views, only confirmed believers in remaining in the Establishment. Especially of the Baptist Church at Stuttgart I had much reason to believe this. It seemed to me therefore important to go to Germany, and labour there for a season., if it might please the Lord to condescend to use me to put a light on a candlestick, howsoever dimly it might be burning at the first, so that by means thereof the light might be spread in other parts of Germany. 2, As I am a German, and therefore familiar with the language, there seemed to me an especial call that I should take on myself this service, particularly as my experience in connexion with several bodies of believers, during the 13 1/2 years previous to this time, would be of great help in this service. 3, It seemed further to me to be the Lords will that I should go to Germany, in order that I might publish my Narrative of the Lords dealings with me (which Mrs. G. had not been able to accomplish), and that not simply in the form of a translation, but so that it should be prepared for the press just as the necessities of the believers in Germany (who, with scarcely any exceptions, are not only connected with the Establishment, but have no idea that there is any where else any thing besides Establishment) might require it. Thus, I judged, something would be given to Germany of the practical working of labouring out of the Establishment; of meeting only as believers in the name of the Lord Jesus, irrespective of any particular religious party or sect, and that in dependence upon the power and presence of the Holy Ghost in the Church of Christ; of dependence upon the Lord alone for every thing; of recognising no other book but the Holy Scriptures for our rule concerning every thing, &c.; and thus my Narrative, if the Lord allowed me to publish it, might be working still, after I had left Germany. 4, Up to that time I had never known an open door for me to labour on the Continent, at least not in Germany; for in the Establishment I neither could labour with a good conscience, according to the light which the Lord had been pleased to give me, nor should I have been permitted to have done so; and I was not acquainted with believers on the Continent out of the Establishment; and as to preaching in the open air, or going somewhere and taking a place for preaching, any thing of this sort was out of the question; for I was too well acquainted with the police of Germany, not to know that that would not be permitted. But now I heard of an open door. At Stuttgart, I judged, I might labour in expounding the truth in this close Baptist Church, and seek to bring these dear brethren out of their sectarian views. 5, But that which in connexion with these four reasons had likewise much influence upon me, was this: During the fourteen years that I had been in England, I had never had my mind drawn to labour on the Continent, and now the very opposite was the case. It was but two or three days before I received those letters from Stuttgart, that I had again expressed my mind as to labouring in Germany, i.e. that I felt no call from the Lord to do it, and had no drawing towards it. Now the case was altogether otherwise. I could not but pray about it; I could not but feel drawn to go to Germany in love to the Lord and in pity towards the poor Church of Christ in that country. Naturally there was nothing inviting; for I saw a hard struggle before me with reference to the brethren who were to be won for the truth, and to be brought out of their errors; in the Continental manners and the long and beautiful journey on the Rhine I saw, through grace, no charm, and certainly I saw nothing in them which would induce me to leave home, but the reverse; the fourth Orphan-House was on the point of being opened, and I, naturally, was very reluctant to be absent from it just then; the labour would be great in Germany, and work would heap up greatly for me in Bristol, during my absence. But with all this:--the leading of my mind to Germany still remained.

The more I prayed about these points, the more I judged it to be from the Lord, that I should go for a season to Germany. It was but a few days, before I had the fullest assurance in my soul, (after much prayer, much self-examination in the fear of God, and after much looking at these five points), that it was the will of God I should go; yet even then I did not speak publicly about it.