Chapter II: Part 2

_Socrates_ goes on with his Lecture of Divinity and declares very roundly that there is no such thing as _Jupiter_.[69] Afterwards he advances farther, and endeavours to get _Strepsiades_ under Articles to acknowledge no other Gods, but _Chaos_, the _Clouds_, and the _Tongue_.[70] At last the _Poet_ brings the Philosopher to publick Pennance for his Singularities. He sets fire to his _School_ for teaching Young People (as he pretends) to dispute against Law and Justice; for advancing Atheistick Notions, and burlesquing the Religion of the Country.[71]

That _Socrates_ was no Atheist is clear from Instances enough. To mention but one. The Confidence he had in his _Dæmon_, or _Genius_ by which he governed his Affairs puts it beyond all dispute.[72] However 'tis plain _Aristophanes_ was not of his Religion. The _Comedian_ was by no means for correcting the Common Perswasion. So that he must either be an Orthodox Heathen or nothing at all. Let us see then with what Respect he treats the Receiv'd _Divinities_. This _Play_, where one would not expect it, discovers somewhat of his Devotion. In the beginning of it _Phidippides_, who was a sort or _New-Market_ Spark, swears by _Jocky Neptune_,[73] that he had a strange Kindness for his Father _Strepsiades_. upon this the old Man replies; _No Jocky, if you love me; that Deity has almost undone me_. This was making somewhat bold with _Neptune_ who was _Jupiters_ Brother, _Soveraign_ of a whole _Element_, and had no less than the Third Share of the Universe! Certainly _Aristophanes_ had no Venture at Sea, or else must think the _Trident_ signified but very little. But this is meer Ceremony to what follows. In his first _Play_ _Plutus_ pretends he had a mind to oblige only Men of Probity, but _Jupiter_ had made him blind on purpose that he might not distinguish Honest men from Knaves: For to be plain _Jupiter_ had a Pique against Good people. Towards the end of this _Comedy Mercury_ is abused by _Cario_,[74] and acts a ridiculous, and lessening part himself. Afterwards he complains heavily that since _Plutus_ was cured of his Blindness, the business of Sacrifing fell off, and the Gods were ready to starve. This _Mercury_ has the same ill Usage with the _Poets_ Knaves, Informers, and Lewd Women; From all this stuff put together, his meaning is pretty plain, _viz._ That Religion was no better than an Imposture supported by Art, and Ignorance: And that when Men's Understandings were awake, and their Eyes a little open, they would have more discretion than to be at any expence about the Gods.

This I take to be part of the Moral of his Fable. If we look farther into him we shall see more of his Mind. His _Ranæ_ makes Merry with the Heathen Scheme of Heaven and Hell. Here _Charon_ and the _Stygian Frogs_ are brought in Comically enough. And that you may understand his opinion more perfectly we are told, that He that Bilks his _Catamite_ after a _Sodomitical_ Abuse, is thrown into the Common shore of _Hades_. And what Company do you think he is lodg'd with? Why with those who Perjure themselves, with those who Kick their Fathers and Mothers? It seems in the _Poets_ Justice a Man might as good be false to his Oath, as to his Lewdness.[75] To disappoint the _Stews_, is every jot as great a Crime; as to fly in the Face of Nature, and outrage our Parents. His Quartering his Malefactors thus critically, was without question on purpose to Banter the perswasion of future Punishment. In the same _Play_ _Xanthias_ bids _Æacus_ answer him by _Jove_, [Greek: Hos hêmin estin homomastigias]. This little Scoundrel of a Slave has the Manners to make _Jupiters_ Quality no better than his own. To go on with him: In his _Aves_ he speaks out to purpose. Here _Pisthetærus_ tells _Epops_ that if the _Birds_ would build a Castle in the Air, they might intercept the Fumes of the Sacrifices, and starve the Gods unless they would come too, and be Tributary. It seems the _Birds_ had very good Pretences to execute this project; for they were ancienter than _Jupiter_ and _Saturn_, and Govern'd before the Gods. And to speak truth were more capable of the Function. Their Adviser goes on to inform them,[76] that after they had built their pensile City, and fortifyed the Air, their next business was to demand their ancient Soveragnity: If _Jupiter_ refused to quit, they were to declare a Holy War against Him, and the rest of the Confederate Gods, and to cut off the Communication between Heaven and Earth. _Pisthæterus_[77] grows very warm in his new Interest, and swears by _Jove_ that Men ought to Sacrifice to the _Birds_, and not to _Jupiter_. And if things came to a Rupture, and _Jupiter_ grew Troublesome, he undertakes[78] to send a Detachement of Eagles against Him; with Orders to storm his Palace with Flambeaux, and fire it about his Ears. At last to prevent the Calamities of a War, _Hercules_ proposes an Accomodation,[79] and is willing _Jupiter_ should Resign. _Neptune_ calls him a Block-head for his pains, because he was Heir at _Law_, and after _Jupiters_ Decease was of Course to succeed in his Dominions: Once more, and I have done: In _Eirene_, _Trygæus_ speaks in a menacing way.[80] That unless _Jupiter_ gave him Satisfaction in his business, he would inform against Him as a disaffected Person, and a betrayer of the Liberties of _Greece_.[81] I might add many other Instances, and some more Scandalous than any I have mentioned; But these are sufficient to shew the Authors Sentiment: And is it any wonder an Atheist should misbehave himself in point of Modesty? What can we expect less from those who laugh at the Being of a God, at the Doctrines of Providence, and the Distinctions of Good and Evil? A _Sceptick_ has no notion of Conscience, no Relish for Virtue, nor is under any Moral restraints from Hope or Fear. Such a one has nothing to do but to consult his Ease, and gratifie his Vanity, and fill his Pocket. But how these Ends are compassed, he has no squeamishness, or Scruples about it. 'Tis true when the Methods of Lewdness will Take, they are generally most agreeable. This way suits their Talent, and screens their practise, and obliges their Malice. For nothing is a greater Eye-sore to these Men, then Virtue and Regularity. What a pleasure is it then to be admired for Mischeif, to be reveng'd on Religion, and to see Vice prosper and improve under our Hands! To return: Beside _Aristophanes_ Atheisme, I have a Second objection to his Authority, and that is want of Judgment. If we examine his _Plays_ we shall find his Characters improper, or ununiform; either wrong at first, or unsteady in the Right. For the purpose. In his _Nubes. A. 3. S. 3. p. 146. 150_. He puts dirty expressions in the Mouth of his Man of Probity, makes him declaim vitiously against Vice, and Corrects scurrility with Impudence; Now what can be more idle and senceless, than such Conduct as this? Epecially when this _Justus_ as he calls him had told them in the beginning of his speech, that People used to be well slash'd for such Fooling, when Government and Discipline were in their due Force. The _Chorus_ of his _Ranæ_ slides[82] into the same Inconsistency of Precept, and Practise. Farther, in the Progress of this _Play_; _Æschylus_ falls a rallying contrary to his Humour, and jests away his own Arguments at a very unseasonable Juncture, when he was disputing for no less prize than the Laureatship. This _Tragedian_ after he had play'd a little with the Story of _Bellerophon_,[83] goes on in the same strain; And charges _Euripides_ that he had furnish'd all sorts of People with Sawciness and Prattle. The _Schools_ and _Academies_ were spoil'd by this means; So that the Boys were often whip'd, and the Boatswains drubb'd, for their Chattering.[84] These Comical Levities come with an ill Grace from _Æschylus_. His Character was quite different both in Reality, and in the _Play_ before us. He is all along represented as a Person of a serious Temper, of a reserv'd Loftiness, Cholerick, and tender of his Honour to an Excess, and almost in a rage at the Affront of a Rival, and being forc'd to enter the Lists with _Euripides_. The case standing thus, neither the Man, nor the Business, would admit of Drolling. Another Instance of his want of Conduct we have in his _Concionatores_. Here _Blepyrus_ and some others of his Legislative Assembly, talk at a very dirty insipid rate. The Lowest of the _Mob_, can hardly jest with less Wit, and more Lewdness. And to make their Discourse more remarkable; These douty Members were just going to the _House_, and had their Heads full of the Good of the Nation, when they entertain'd themselves thus decently[85]. And are these little Buffoons fit to consult _de Arduis Regni, &c._ to give Authority to Law, and Rules for publick Life? Do's Ribaldry and Nonsence become the Dignity of their Station, and the Solemnity of their Office? To make his _Parliament-Men_ play the Fool thus egregiously, must needs have a great deal of Decorum, and State-Policy in the Contrivance; And is just as wise as if a _Painter_ should have Drawn them in the Habit of _Jack-Puddings_, and _Merry-Andrews_. But _Aristophanes_ has still higher Flights of Absurdity. He won't so much as spare the Gods but makes them act these little Parts of Clownishness and Infamy. _Bacchus_ and _Hercules_ in his _Ranæ_ are forced to talk Smut and rally like _Link-boys_, and do almost all the Tricks of _Bartholomew-Fair_. To mention something that will bear the quoting. _Bacchus_ enquires of _Hercules_ the readiest way to _Hades_, or the other World. He bids him either Hang, or Poyson himself, and he can't miss the Road. This is _Hercules's_ Humour to a Tittle! And represents him as much to the Life, as an _Ape_ would do the _Grand Signior_ at a publick Audience! This with a short Sentence or two of Lewdness,[86] is the hardest of _Hercules_ his Usage: And 'tis well he escaped so; for _Bacchus_ is treated much worse. He appears under the disadvantages of a Clownish Debauchee, and a Coward. And is terribly afraid of a _Spectre_.[87] When he comes before _Æacus_, this Judge is very rough with him; and tries his pretences to a Deity by Bastinado: _Bacchus_ howls in the drubbing and had almost spoil'd all.[88] Now do's this paultry Behaviour agree with the Heathen Theology, with the Common Opinion concerning _Bacchus_ and _Hercules_? Do's a _Blew-Cap_ and a _Ladle_, become the Sons of _Jupiter_ and the Objects of Religious Worship? Those who at the lowest, were counted the Conquerors of the World, and more than Men both by Birth and Enterprize? _Sophocles_ and _Euripides_ make these two Persons manage at a quite different rate of Decency. 'Tis no defence to say _Aristophanes_ wrot Comedy, and so was obliged to make his Scenes more diverting. This excuse I say is defective; for a Comedian ought to imitate Life and Probability, no less than a Tragedian. To Metomorphose _Characters_, and present Contradictions to Common Belief, is to write, _Farce_ instead of _Plays_. Such Comedians like _Thespis_ ought to have a travelling _Stage_, and take the Air with _Porcupines_ and _Dromedaryes_. If 'tis said that Gravity and greatness do's not suit the Complection and Entertainment of Comedy. To this I answer, that therefore the _Persons_ should be chosen accordingly. They should have nothing in their known Humour, and Condition too Noble, and solemn for Trifling. 'Tis _Horaces_ advice.

_Aut famam sequere, aut convenientia finge Scriptor._ De. Art. Poet.

Let us remember that Operations always resemble the Nature from whence they flow. Great Persons should therefore have a correspondent Behaviour assign'd them. To make _Beings_ much Superior to the Biggest of Mankind, talk below the Least, is absurd and ridiculous. This _Aristophanes_ seems sensible of in his defence of _Æschylus_. Here _Euripides_ objects to _Æschylus_,[89] that he was too rumbling, noisy, and bombastick, over affecting that which _Horace_ calls

_Ampulla, & sesquipedalia Verba._

To this _Æschylus_ Answers, that the Thoughts, and Designs of _Heroes_ must be deliver'd in Expressions proportioned to their Greatness. It being likely that the Demi-Gods spoke up to their Dignity and Stature: And as they were distinguish'd by the richness of their Habit, so they had a more Magnificent Language than other Mortals. To this _Euripides_ replys nothing; from whence you may conclude the _Poet_ thought the Apology not unreasonable. In short _Aristophanes_ had Sense but he does not always use it. He is not equal, and uniforme. Sometimes you have him flat and foolish a good while together. And where he has Spirit, 'tis oftentimes lavished away to little purpose.[90] His Buffoonery is commonly too strong for his Judgment. This makes him let fly his jests without regard to Person or occasion: And thus by Springing the _Game_ too soon, the Diversion is lost. I could make several other Material Objections against the Conduct of his _Plays_; But this being not necessary I shall observe in the

_3d._ Place. That notwithstanding the scandalous Liberty for which _Aristophanes_ is so remarkable; yet in his Lucid Intervalls, when Sence and Sobriety return upon him, he pronounces against his own Practise. In the contest between _Æschylus_ and _Euripides_, _Bacchus_ is made the Umpire of the Controversie. _Æschylus_ begins with a Question,[91] and asks _Euripides_ what 'tis which makes a _Poet_ admired? He answers. 'Tis for the address of his Conduct, and the handsome Turns of Morality in his Poems. 'Tis because his performance has a tendency to form the Audience to Virtue, and Improvement, _Æschylus_ demands of him farther; But suppose you debauched the Age, and made an Honest and a brave People Lewd, and good for nothing, what do you deserve then? Here _Bacchus_ interposes, and crys out, what does he deserve? A Halter! pray don't ask so plain a question. And afterwards we are told, that _Poets_ are valuable only for describing Things useful, in Life and Religion, for polishing Inventions, and setting off great Examples with Lustre, and Advantage.[92] In the progress of the Dispute, _Æschylus_ taxes _Euripides_ with being too uncautious in his Representations; And tells him that Poets ought to conceal that which is vicious in Story; And entertain with nothing but Virtue, and Sobriety: He goes on reprimanding _Euripides_ for his Dramatick incests, Strumpets, and Amours: And as for himself, to his best remembrance, He never brought any Love-Intrigues upon the Stage.[93]

This is very significant expostulation: and contains very good Rules for the Trial of the _Muses_: But if the English _Stage_, should be obliged to this Test; _Aristophanes_ must set fire to it, and that with much more reason than to _Socrates_ his _School_. Now that _Æschylus_ spoke _Aristophanes_'s Sense is pretty plain: For first; As to the Business of Love, _Aristophanes_ always declines it; He never patches up a _Play_ with _Courtship_, and _Whining_, tho' he wrote nothing but _Comedy_. In the next place the _Chorus_ which is usually the _Poets_ Interpreter, speaks honourably of _Æschylus_ even to a Preference;[94] And at last Judge _Bacchus_ gives Sentence for him.

Thus we see _Aristophanes_ Confutes his own Lewdness, and comes in Evidence against himself. This with the other two Exceptions I have made good against him, are sufficient to take off the Force of the _Precedent_, and make him an insignificant Authority.

To what I have observ'd from the _Stage_ of the Antients, I could add the Authorities of _Aristotle_, and _Quintilian_, both extraordinary Persons, but I shall reserve their Testimony till Afterwards.

To come Home, and near our own Times: The English Theatre from Queen _Elizabeth_ to King _Charles_ II. will afford us something not inconsiderable to our purpose.

As for _Shakespear_, he is too guilty to make an Evidence: But I think he gains not much by his Misbehaviour; He has commonly _Plautus's Fate_, where there is most Smut, there is least Sense.

_Ben. Johnson_ is much more reserv'd in his _Plays_, and declares plainly for Modesty in his _Discoveries_, some of his Words are these.

A just Writer whom he calls a _True Artificer_, will avoid _Obscene_ and _Effeminate Phrase. Where Manners and Fashions are Corrupted, Language is so too.[95] The excess of Feasts and Apparel, are the Notes of A Sick State, and the Wantonness of Language of a sick Mind_.[96] A little after he returns to the Argument, and applies his Reasoning more particularly to the Stage. _Poetry_, (says he) _and Picture, both behold Pleasure, and profit, as their common Object, but should abstain from all base Pleasures, least they should wholly Err from their End; And while they seek to better Men's Minds, Destroy their Manners, Insolent and obscene Speeches, and Jests upon the best Men, are most likely to excite Laughter. But this is truly leaping from the Stage to the Tumbrill again, reducing all Wit to the Original Dung-Cart_.[97] More might be cited to this purpose, but that may serve for an other Occasion: In the mean time I shall go on to _Beaumont_ and _Fletcher_.

_Fletchers Faithfull Shepheardess_ is remarkably Moral, and a sort of Exhortation to Chastity. This _Play_ met with ill Judges, 'twas Hiss'd before half _Acted_, and seems to have suffer'd on the account of its Innocence.[98] Soon after _Ben. Johnson_ and _Beaumont_ appear and justifie the Author in a Copy of Verses. And as _Beaumont_ commends Modesty in _Fletcher_, so he is commended himself by Mr. _Earl_ for the same Quality.[99]

_Such Passions, Such Expressions meet my Eye,
Such Wit untainted with Obscenity._

And as I remember _Jasper Main_ has some stroaks to the same purpose.[100] _Fletcher_ is still more full for the Cause. Indeed nothing can be more express. He delivers himself by way of _Prologue_; where the _Poet_ speaks in his own Person. The _Prologue_ to the _Woman-Hater_, very frankly lets the Audience know what they are to expect. _If there be any amongst you, (says he) that come to hear Lascivious Scenes, let them depart; For I do pronounce this, to the utter discomfort of all two-penny Gallery Men, you shall no Bawdry in it._ We find in those days Smut was the expectation of a Coarse Palate, and relish'd by none but two-penny Customers. In the _Knight_ of the _Burning Pestle_, part of the _Prologue_ runs thus. _They were banish'd the Theatre at_ Athens, _and from_ Rome _hiss'd, that brought Parasites on the Stage with Apish Actions, or Fools with uncivil Habits, or Courtezans with immodest words_. Afterwards _Prologue_, who represents a Person, gives us more to the same purpose.

----_Fly far from hence.
All private taxes, immodest phrases,
Whatever way but look like Vitious.
For wicked mirth, never true Pleasure brings;
For honest Minds, are pleas'd with honest things._

I have quoted nothing but Comedy in this Author. The _Coronation_ is another. And the _Prologue_ tells you there is

_No Undermirth such as does lard the Scene,
For Coarse Delight, the Language here is clean.
And confident our Poet bad me say,
He'll bate you but the Folly of a Play.
For which altho' dull Souls his Pen despise;
Who think it yet too early to be wise.
The Nobles yet will thank his Muse, at least
Excuse him, cause his Thought aim'd at the Best._

Thus these _Poets_ are in their Judgments clearly ours. 'Tis true their Hand was not always steady. But thus much may be aver'd, that _Fletcher's_ later _Plays_ are the most inoffensive. This is either a sign of the _Poets_ Reformation; or that the exceptionable Passages belonged to _Beaumont_, who dyed first.

To these Authorities of our own Nation, I shall add a considerable Testimony out of Mr. _Corneille_. This Author was sensible that tho' the Expression of his _Theodore_ was altogether unsmutty,[101] 'Yet the bare Idea of Prostitution uneffected, shock'd the Audience, and made the Play miscarry. The _Poet_ protests he took great care to alter the natural Complexion of the Image, and to convey it decently to the Fancy; and delivered only some part of the History as inoffensively as possible. And after all his Screening and Conduct, the Modesty of the Audience would not endure that little, the Subject forced him upon. He is positive 'the Comedies St. _Augustine_ declaim'd against, were not such as the _French_. For theirs are not spectacles of Turpitude, as that Father justly calls those of his Time. The _French_ generally speaking, containing nothing but examples of Innocence, Piety and Virtue.'

In this Citation we have the Opinion of the _Poet_, the Practise of the _French_ Theatre, and the Sense of that _Nation_, and all very full to our purpose.

To conclude this _Chapter_. By what has been offer'd, it appears that the _Present English Stage_ is superlatively Scandalous. It exceeds the Liberties of all Times and Countries: It has not so much as the poor plea of a _Precedent_, to which most other ill Things may claim a pretence. 'Tis mostly meer Discovery and Invention: A new World of Vice found out, and planted with all the Industry imaginable. _Aristophanes_ himself, how bad soever in other respects, does not amplyfie, and flourish, and run through all the Topicks of Lewdness like these Men. The _Miscellany Poems_ are likewise horribly Licentious. They are sometimes Collections from Antiquity, and often, the worst parts of the worst _Poets_. And to mend the Matter, the Christian _Translation_, is more nauseous than the _Pagan_ Original. Such stuff I believe was never seen, and suffer'd before. In a word, If Poverty and Diseases, the Dishonour of Families, and the Debauching of Kingdoms, are such valuable Advantages, then I confess these Books deserve encouragement. But if the Case is otherwise, I humbly conceive the Proceeding should be so too.

CHAP. II.

_The Profaness of the_ Stage.

An other Instance of the Disorders of the _Stage_ is their _Profaness_: This Charge may come under these two particulars.

_1st. Their Cursing and Swearing._
_2dly. Their Abuse of Religion and Holy Scripture._

_1st Their Cursing and Swearing._

What is more frequent then their wishes of Hell, and Confusion, Devils, and Diseases, all the Plagues of this World, and the next, to each other? And as for Swearing; 'tis used by all Persons, and upon all Occasions: By Heroes, and Paltroons; by Gentlemen, and Clowns: Love, and Quarrels, Success, and Disappointment, Temper, and Passion, must be varnish'd, and set off with _Oaths_. At some times, and with some _Poets_ Swearing is no ordinary Releif. It stands up in the room of Sense, gives Spirit to a flat Expression, and makes a Period Musical and Round. In short, 'tis almost all the Rhetorick, and Reason some People are Masters of: The manner of performance is different. Some times they mince the matter; change the Letter, and keep the Sense,[102] as if they had a mind to steal a Swearing, and break the Commandement without Sin. At another time the Oaths are clipt, but not so much within the Ring, but that the _Image and Superscription_ are visible. These expedients, I conceive are more for variety, then Conscience: For when the fit comes on them, they make no difficulty of Swearing at Length. Instances of all these kinds may be met with in the _Old Batchelour_, _Double Dealer_, and _Love for Love_. And to mention no more, _Don Quixot_, the _Provok'd Wife_, and the _Relapse_, are particularly rampant and scandalous. The _English Stage_ exceed their predecessors in this, as well as other Branches of immorality. _Shakespear_ is comparatively sober, _Ben Jonson_ is still more regular; And as for _Beaument_ and _Fletcher_, In their _Plays_ they are commonly Profligate Persons that Swear, and even those are reprov'd for't. Besides, the Oaths are not so full of Hell and Defiance, as in the Moderns.

So much for matter of Fact: And as for point of Law, I hope there needs not many words to prove Swearing a Sin: For what is more provoking than contempt, and what Sin more contemptuous than common Swearing? what can be more Insolent and Irreligious, than to bring in God to attest our Trifles, to give Security for our Follies, and to make part of our Diversion? To Play with Majesty and Omnipotence in this manner, is to render it cheap and despicable. How can such Customes as these consist with the belief of Providence or Revelation? The _Poets_ are of all People most to blame. They want even the Plea of _Bullies_ and _Sharpers_. There's no Rencounters, no starts of Passion, no suddain Accidents to discompose them. They swear in Solitude and cool Blood, under Thought and Deliberation, for Business, and for Exercise: This is a terrible Circumstance; It makes all _Malice Prepence_, and enflames the Guilt, and the Reckoning.

And if Religion signifies nothing, (as I am afraid it does with some People) there is Law, as well as Gospel against _Swearing_. _3d Jac. 1 cap. 21._ is expresly against the _Playhouse_. It runs thus.

For the preventing and avoiding of the great abuse of the holy Name of
God, in Stage Plays, Enterludes &c. Be it enacted by our Sovereign Lord
&c. That if at any time, or times, after the End of this present Session
of Parliament; any Person or Persons do, or shall in any Stage Play,
Enterlude, Show, &c. Jeastingly or Profanly, speak or use the Holy Name
of God, or of Christ Jesus, or of the Holy Ghost, or of the Trinity,
which are not to be spoken, but with Fear and Reverence; shall forfeit
for every such offence, by him or them committed, ten pounds: The one
Moity thereof to the King's Majesty, his Heirs; and Successors, the other
Moity thereof to him, or them, that will sue for the same in any Court of
Record at Westminster, wherein no essoin, protection, or wager of Law
shall be allow'd.

By this _Act_ not only direct Swearing, but all vain Invocation of the Name of God is forbidden. This _Statute_ well executed would mend the _Poets_, or sweep the _Box_: And the _Stage_ must either reform, or not thrive upon Profaness.

_3dly_ Swearing in the _Playhouse_ is an ungentlemanly, as well as an unchristian Practice. The _Ladies_ make a considerable part of the _Audience_. Now Swearing before Women is reckon'd a Breach of good Behaviour, and therefore a civil Atheist will forbear it. The custom seems to go upon this Presumption; that the Impressions of Religion are strongest in Women, and more generally spread. And that it must be very disagreeable to them, to hear the Majesty of God treated with so little respect. Besides: Oaths are a boistrous and tempestuous sort of Conversation; Generally the effects of Passion, and spoken with Noise, and Heat. Swearing looks like the beginning of a Quarrel, to which Women have an aversion: As being neither armed by Nature, nor disciplin'd by Custome for such rough Disputes. A Woman will start at a Soldiers Oath, almost as much as at the Report of his Pistol: And therefore a well Bred Man will no more Swear, than Fight in the Company of Ladies.

A _Second_ Branch of the Profaness of the _Stage_ is their Abuse of Religion, and _Holy Scripture_. And here sometimes they don't stop short of Blasphemy. To cite all that might be Collected of this kind would be tedious. I shall give the _Reader_ enough to justifie the Charge, and I hope to abhor the Practice.

To begin with the _Mock-Astrologer_. In the First _Act_ the _Scene_ is a _Chappel_; And that the Use of such Consecrated places may be the better understood, the time is taken up in Courtship, Raillery, and ridiculing Devotion. _Jacinta_ takes her turn among the rest. She Interrupts _Theodosia_, and cries out: _why Sister, Sister----will you pray? what injury have I ever done you that you should pray in my Company?_

_Wildblood_ Swears by _Mahomet_, rallies smuttily upon the other World, and gives the preference to the Turkish Paradise[103]! This Gentleman to incourage _Jacinta_ to a Complyance in Debauchery, tells her _Heaven is all Eyes and no Tongue._[104] That is, it sees Wickedness but conceals it. He Courts much at the same rate a little before. _When a Man comes to a great Lady, he is fain to approach her with Fear, and Reverence, methinks there's something of Godliness in't_.[105] Here you have the Scripture burlesqu'd, and the Pulpit Admonition apply'd to Whoring.[106] Afterwards _Jacinta_ out of her great Breeding and Christianity, swears by _Alla_, and _Mahomet_, and makes a Jest upon Hell.[107] _Wildblood_ tells his Man that _such undesigning Rogues as he, make a Drudge of poor Providence_. And _Maskall_ to show his proficiency under his Masters, replies to _Bellamy_, who would have had him told a Lie.[108] _Sir upon the Faith of a Sinner you have had my last Lie already. I have not one more to do me Credit, as I hope to be saved Sir._

In the close of the _Play_, They make sport with Apparitions and Fiends. One of the Devils sneezes, upon this they give him the Blessing of the Occasion, and conclude _he has got cold by being too long out of the Fire_.[109]

The _Orphan_ lays the Scene in Christendom, and takes the same care of Religion. _Castalio_ Complements his Mistress to Adoration.

_No Tongue my Pleasure and my Pain can tell:
'Tis Heaven to have thee, and without thee Hell._ [110]

_Polydor_ when upon the attempt to debauch _Monimia_, puts up this ejaculation.

_Blessed Heaven assist me but in this dear Hour_: [111]

Thus the _Stage_ worships the true God in Blasphemy, as the _Lindians_ did _Hercules_ by Cursing and throwing stones.[112] This _Polydor_ has another Flight of Profaness, but that has got a certain _Protection_, and therefore must not be disturb'd.

In the _Old Batchelour_, _Vain-love_ asks _Belmour_, _could you be content to go to Heaven_?

_Bell. Hum, not immediatly in my Conscence, not heartily._[113]----This is playing I take it with Edge-Tools. To go to Heaven in jeast, is the way to go to Hell in earnest. In the Fourth _Act_, Lewdness is represented with that Gaity, as if the Crime was purely imaginary, and lay only in ignorance and preciseness. _Have you throughly consider'd (says Fondlewife) how detestable, how Heinous, and how crying a Sin the Sin of Adultery is? have you weighed I say? For it is a very weighty Sin: and, altho' it may lie----yet thy Husband must also bear his part; For thy iniquity will fall on his Head_.[114] I suppose this fit of Buffoonry and profaness, was to settle the Conscience of young Beginners, and to make the Terrors of Religion insignificant. _Bellmour_ desires _Lætitia to give him leave to swear by her Eyes and her Lips_: He kisses the Strumpet, and tells her, _Eternity was in that Moment_.[115] _Lætitia_ is horibly profane in her Apology to her Husband; but having the _Stage-Protection_ of Smut for her Guard, we must let her alone.[116] _Fondlewife_ stalks under the same shelter, and abuses a plain Text of Scripture to an impudent Meaning.[117] A little before, _Lætitia_ when her Intrigue with _Bellmour_ was almost discover'd, supports her self with this Consideration. _All my comfort lies in his impudence, and Heaven be prais'd, he has a Considerable Portion_.[118] This is the _Play-house_ Grace, and thus Lewdness is made a part of Devotion! Ther's another Instance still behind: 'Tis that of _Sharper_ to _Vain-Love_, and lies thus.

_I have been a kind of God Father to you, yonder: I have promis'd and vow'd something in your Name, which I think you are bound to Perform_.[119] For Christians to droll upon their Baptism is somewhat extraordinary; But since the _Bible_ can't escape, 'tis the less wonder to make bold with the _Catechisme_.

In the _Double Dealer_, Lady _Plyant_ cries out _Jesu_ and talks Smut in the same Sentence.[120] Sr. _Paul Plyant_ whom the Poet dub'd a Fool when he made him a Knight, talks very Piously! _Blessed be Providence, a Poor unworthy Sinner, I am mightily beholden to Providence_[121]: And the same word is thrice repeated upon an odd occasion.[122] The meaning must be that _Providence_ is a ridiculous supposition, and that none but Blockheads pretend to Religion. But the Poet can discover himself farther if need be. Lady _Froth_ is pleas'd to call _Jehu_ _a Hackney Coachman_.[123] Upon this, _Brisk_ replies, _If Jehu was a Hackney Coachman, I am answer'd----you may put that into the Marginal Notes tho', to prevent Criticisms----only mark it with a small Asterisme and say----Jehu was formerly a Hackney Coachman._ This for a heavy Piece of Profaness, is no doubt thought a lucky one, because it burlesques the Text, and the Comment, all under one. I could go on with the _Double Dealer_ but he'll come in my way afterwards, and so I shall part with him at present. Let us now take a veiw of _Don Sebastian_. And here the _Reader_ can't be long unfurnish'd. _Dorax_ shall speak first.

_Shall I trust Heaven
With my revenge? then where's my satisfaction?
No, it must be my own, I scorn a Proxy._[124]

But _Dorax_ was a Renegado, what then? He had renounc'd Christianity, but not Providence. Besides; such hideous Sentences ought not to be put in the Mouth of the Devil. For that which is not fit to be heard, is not fit to be spoken. But to some people an Atheistical Rant is as good as a Flourish of Trumpets. To proceed. _Antonio_ tho' a profess'd Christian, mends the matter very little. He is looking on a Lot which he had drawn for his Life: This proving unlucky, after the preamble of a Curse or two, he calls it,

_As black as Hell, an other lucky saying!
I think the Devils in me:----good again,
I cannot speak one syllable but tends
To Death or to Damnation._[125]

Thus the Poet prepares his Bullies for the other World! Hell and Damnation are strange entertaining words upon the _Stage_! Were it otherwise, the Sense in these Lines, would be almost as bad as the Conscience. The _Poem_ warms and rises in the working: And the next Flight is extreamly remarkable:

_Not the last sounding could surprize me more,
That summons drowsy Mortals to their doom,
When call'd in hast they fumble for their Limbs:_[126]

Very Solemnly and Religiously express'd! _Lucian_ and _Celsus_ could not have ridiculed the Resurrection better! Certainly the Poet never expects to be there. Such a light Turn would have agreed much better to a Man who was in the Dark, and was feeling for his Stockings. But let those who talk of _Fumbling_ for their Limbs, take care they don't find them too fast. In the Fourth _Act_ _Mustapha_ dates his _Exaltation to Tumult_, _from the second Night of the Month_ Abib.[127] Thus you have the Holy Text abused by Captain _Tom_; And the Bible torn by the Rabble! The Design of this Liberty I can't understand, unless it be to make _Mustapha_ as considerable as _Moses_; and the prevalence of a Tumult, as much a Miracle as the Deliverance out of _Ægypt_. We have heard this Author hitherto in his _Characters_, let us hear him now in his own Person. In his _Dedication of Aurenge Zebe_ he is so hardy as to affirm that _he who is too lightly reconciled after high Provocation, may Recommend himself to the World for a Christian, but I should hardly trust him for a Friend_. And why is a Christian not fit to make a Friend of? Are the Principles of Christianity defective, and the Laws of it Ill contriv'd? Are the Interests and Capacities of Mankind overlook'd? Did our Great Master bind us to Disadvantage, and make our Duty our Misfortune? And did he grudge us all the Pleasures and Securities of Friendship? Are not all these horrid Suppositions? Are they not a flat Contradiction to the _Bible_, and a Satyr on the Attributes of the Deity? Our Saviour tells us we must _forgive until Seventy times Seven_; That is, we must never be tired out of Clemency and Good Nature. He has taught us to pray for the Forgiveness of our own Sins, only upon the Condition of forgiving others. Here is no exception upon the Repetition of the Fault, or the Quality of the Provocation. Mr. _Dryden_ to do him right, do's not dispute the Precept. He confesses this is the way to be a Christian: But for all that he _should hardly trust him for a Friend_. And why so? Because the Italian Proverb says, _He that forgives the second time is a Fool._[128] This Lewd Proverb comes in for Authority, and is a piece of very pertinent Blasphemy! Thus in some Peoples _Logick_ one proof from Atheism, is worth Ten from the _New Testament_. But here the _Poet_ argues no better than he Believes. For most certainly, a Christian of all others is best qualified for Friendship. For He that loves his Neighbour as himself, and carries Benevolence and Good Nature beyond the Heights of Philosophy: He that is not govern'd by Vanity, or Design; He that prefers his Conscience to his Life, and has Courage to Maintain his Reason; He that is thus qualified must be a good Friend; And he that falls short, is no good Christian. And since the _Poet_ is pleas'd to find fault with Christianity, let us examine his own Scheme. _Our Minds (says he) are perpetually wrought on by the Temperament of our Bodies, which makes me suspect they are nearer Allyed than either our Philosophers, or School Divines will allow them to be._[129] The meaning is, he suspects our Souls are nothing but Organiz'd Matter. Or in plain English, our _Souls_ are nothing but our Bodies. And then when the Body dies you may guess what becomes of them! Thus the Authorities of Religion are weaken'd, and the prospect of the other World almost shut up. And is this a likely Supposition for Sincerity and good Nature? Do's Honour use to rise upon the Ruines of Conscience? And are People the best Friends where they have the least Reason to be so? But not only the Inclinations to Friendship must Languish upon this Scheme, but the very Powers of it are as it were destroy'd. By this Systeme no Man can say his Soul is his own. He can't be assured the same Colours of Reason and Desire will last. Any little Accident from _without_ may metamorphose his Fancy, and push him upon a new set of Thoughts. _Matter_ and _Motion_ are the most Humorsom Capricious Things in Nature; and withall, the most Arbitrary and uncontroll'd. And can Constancy proceed from Chance, Choice from Fate, and Virtue from Necessity? In short a Man at this rate must be a Friend or an Enemy in spite of his Teeth, and just as long as the _Atoms_ please and no longer. Every Change in _Figure_ and _Impulse_, must alter the Idea, and wear off the former Impression. So that by these Principles, Friendship will depend on the _Seasons_, and we must look in the _Weather Glass_ for our Inclinations. But this 'tis to Refine upon Revelation, and grow wiser than Wisdom! The same Author in his Dedication of _Juvenal_ and _Persius_, has these words: _My Lord, I am come to the last Petition of_ Abraham;[130] _If there be ten Righteous Lines in this vast Preface, spare it for their sake; and also spare the next City because it is but a little one_. Here the Poet stands for _Abraham_; and the Patron for God Almighty: And where lies the Wit of all this? In the Decency of the Comparison? I doubt not. And for the _next City_ he would have spared, he is out in the Allusion. 'Tis no _Zoar_, but much rather _Sodom_ and _Gomorrah_, Let them take care the Fire and Brimstone does not follow: And that those who are so bold with _Abraham_'s Petition, are not forced to that of _Dives_. To beg Protection for a Lewd Book in _Scripture Phrase_, is very extraordinary! 'Tis in effect to Prostitute the Holy Rhetorick, and send the _Bible_ to the _Brothell_! I can hardly imagin why these Tombs of Antiquity were raked in, and disturb'd? Unless it were to conjure up a departed Vice, and revive the Pagan Impurities: Unless it were to raise the Stench of the Vault, and Poyson the Living with the Dead. Indeed _Juvenal_ has a very untoward way with him in some of his Satyrs. His Pen has such a Libertine stroak that 'tis a Question whether the Practise, or the Reproof, the Age, or the Author, were the more Licentious. He teaches those Vices he would correct, and writes more like a Pimp, than a _Poet_. And truly I think there is but little of Lewdness lost in the _Translation_. The Sixth and Eleventh _Satyrs_ are Particularly remarkable. Such nauseous stuff is almost enough to debauch the _Alphabet_, and make the Language scandalous. One would almost be sorry for the privilege of _Speech_, and the Invention of _Letters_, to see them thus wretchedly abused. And since the Business must be undertaken, why was not the Thought Blanched, the Expression made remote, and the ill Features cast into shadows? I'm mistaken if we have not Lewdness enough of our own Growth, without Importing from our Neighbours. No. This can't be. An Author must have Right done him, and be shown in his own shape, and Complexion. Yes by all means! Vice must be disrobed, and People poyson'd, and all for the sake of Justice! To do Right to such an Author is to burn him. I hope Modesty is much better than Resemblance. The Imitation of an ill Thing is the worse for being exact: And sometimes to report a Fault is to repeat it.

To return to his _Plays_. In _Love Triumphant_, _Garcia_ makes _Veramond_ this Compliment:

_May Heaven and your brave Son, and above all,
Your own prevailing Genius guard your Age._[131]

What is meant by his Genius, in this place, is not easy to Discover, only that 'tis something which is a better Guard than Heaven. But 'tis no Matter for the Sense, as long as the Profaness is clear. In this _Act_, Colonel _Sancho_ lets _Carlos_ know the old Jew is dead, which he calls good news.

Carl. _What Jew?_

Sanch. _Why the rich Jew my Father. He is gone to the Bosom, of_ Abraham _his Father, and I his Christian Son am left sole Heir_.[132] A very mannerly Story! But why does the Poet acquaint us with _Sanchos_ Religion? The case is pretty plain: 'tis to give a lustre to his Profaness, and make him burlesque St. _Luke_ with the better Grace. _Alphonso_ complains to _Victoria_ that _Nature doats with Age_.[133] His reason is, because Brother and Sister can't Marry as they did at first: 'Tis very well! We know what _Nature_ means in the Language of Christianity, and especially under the Notion of a Law-giver. _Alphonso_ goes on, and compares the Possession of Incestuous Love to Heaven. Yes, 'tis _Eternity in Little_.[134]

It seems Lovers must be distracted or there's no diversion. A Flight of Madness like a Faulcons _Lessening_, makes them the more gaz'd at! I am now coming to some of the Poets Divinity. And here _Vengeance is said to be so sweet a Morsel_,

_That Heaven reserves it for its proper Tast._[135]

This belike is the meaning of those Texts, _that God is good and Gracious, and slow to anger, and does not willingly afflict the Children of Men_! From expounding the Bible he goes to the _Common Prayer_. And as _Carlos_ interprets the _Office_ of _Matrimony_, For Better, for Worse, is _for Virgin for Whore_;[136] And that the Reference might not be mistaken, the Poet is careful to put the Words in _Italick_, and great Letters. And by the way, He falls under the _Penalty_ of the Statute for Depraving the _Common Prayer_.[137]

_Sancho_ upon reading a Letter which he did not like, cries _Damn it, it must be all Orthodox_.[138] _Damn_ and _Orthodox_ clapt together, make a lively Rant, because it looks like Cursing the _Creeds_. The most extraordinary passage is behind; _Sancho_ was unhappily Married: _Carlos tells him, For your Comfort, Marriage they say is Holy. Sancho_ replies: _Ay, and so is Martyrdom as they say, but both of them are good for just nothing, but to make an end of a Mans Life_.[139] I shall make no Reflections upon This: There needs no Reading upon a Monster: 'Tis shown enough by its own Deformity. _Love for Love_ has a Strain like this, and therefore I shall put them together: _Scandal_ solicits Mrs. _Foresight_; She threatens to tell her Husband. He replys, _He will die a Martyr rather then disclaim his Passion_.[140] Here we have Adultery dignified with the stile of Martyrdom: As if 'twas as Honourable to perish in Defence of Whoring, as to dye for the Faith of Christianity. But these _Martyrs_ will be a great while in burning, And therefore let no body strive to grace the Adventure, or encrease the Number. And now I am in this _Play_ the Reader shall have more. _Jeremy_ who was bred at the University, calls the Natural Inclinations to Eating and Drinking, _Whoreson Appetites_. This is strange Language! The _Manicheans_ who made Creation the work of the Devil, could scarcely have been thus Coarse.[141] But the _Poet_ was _Jeremy's_ Tutor, and so that Mystery is at an end. Sr. _Samson_ carries on the Expostulation, rails at the Structure of Human Bodies, and says,[142] _Nature has been Provident only to Bears, and Spiders_; This is the Authors Paraphrase on the 139 _Psalm_; And thus he gives God thanks for the Advantage of his Being! The _Play_ advances from one wickedness to another, from the _Works_ of God, to the Abuse of his Word. Foresight _confesses 'tis Natural for Men to mistake_.[143] Scandal _replies, You say true, Man will err, meer Man will err----but you are something more----There have been wise Men; but they were such as you----Men who consulted the Stars, and, were observers of Omens_----Solomon _was wise but how?----by his judgment in Astrology._ 'Tis very well! _Solomon_ and _Foresight_ had their Understandings qualified alike. And pray what was _Foresight_? Why an _Illiterate Fellow_. _A pretender to Dreams, Astrology, Palmistry_ &c. This is the _Poets_ account of _Solomon's_ Supernatural Knowledge![144] Thus the wisest Prince is dwindled into a Gypsie! And the Glorious Miracle resolved into Dotage, and Figure-flinging! _Scandal_ continues his Banter, and says, the _wise Men of the East owed their Instruction to a Star; which is rightly observ'd by_ Gregory _the Great in favour of Astrology_. This was the Star which shone at our Saviour's Birth. Now who could imagine by the Levity of the occasion, that the Author thought it any better than an _Ignis Fatuus_, or _Sydrophel's_ Kite in _Hudibras_? Sr. _Sampson_ and the fine _Angelica_, after some lewd raillery continue the Allegory, and drive it up into Profaness. For this reason the Citation must be imperfect.

_Sr._ Samps. Sampson'_s a very good Name for----your_ Sampsons _were strong Dogs from the Beginning_.[145]

Angel. _Have a care----If you remember the strongest_ Sampson _of your Name, pull'd an old House over his Head at last_. Here you have the Sacred History burlesqu'd, and _Sampson_ once more brought into the House of _Dagon_, to make sport for the _Philistines_! To draw towards an end of this _Play. Tattle_ would have carried off _Valentine_'s Mistress. This later, expresses his Resentment in a most Divine manner! Tattle _I thank you, you would have interposed between me and Heaven, but Providence has laid Purgatory in your way_.[146] Thus Heaven is debas'd into an Amour, and Providence brought in to direct the Paultry concerns of the _Stage! Angelica_ concludes much in the same strain: _Men are generally Hypocrites And Infidels, they pretend to Worship, but have neither Zeal, nor Faith; How few like_ Valentine _would persevere unto Martyrdom? &c._[147] Here you have the Language of the _Scriptures_, and the most solemn Instances of Religion, prostituted to Courtship and Romance! Here you have a Mistress made God Almighty, Ador'd with Zeal and Faith, and Worship'd up to Martyrdom! This if 'twere only for the Modesty, is strange stuff for a Lady to say of her self. And had it not been for the profane Allusion, would have been cold enough in all Conscience.

The _Provok'd Wife_ furnishes the Audience with a Drunken Atheistical Catch: 'Tis true this Song is afterwards said to be _Full of Sin and Impudence_.[148] But why then was it made? This Confession is a miserable _Salvo_; And the Antidote is much weaker than the Poyson: 'Tis just as if a Man should set a House in a Flame, and think to make amends by crying _Fire_ in the Streets. In the last _Act Rasor_ makes his Discovery of the Plot against _Belinda_ in _Scripture_ phrase. I'le give it the _Reader_ in the Authors Dialogue.

Belind. _I must know who put you upon all this Mischief._[149]

Rasor. _Sathan And his Equipage. Woman tempted me, Lust weaken'd,----And so the Devil overcame me: As fell_ Adam _so fell I_.

Belind. _Then pray Mr._ Adam _will you make us acquainted with your_ Eve?

_Rasor_ unmasks _Madamoselle_ and says, _This is the Woman that tempted me: But this is the Serpent_ (meaning Lady _Fanciful_) _that tempted the Woman; And if my Prayers might be heard, her punishment for so doing should be like the Serpents of old, &c._ This _Rasor_ in what we hear of him before, is all Roguery, and Debauch: But now he enters in _Sackcloth_; and talks like _Tribulation_ in the _Alchemist_. His Character is chang'd to make him the more profane; And his Habit, as well as Discourse, is a Jest upon Religion. I am forced to omit one Line of his Confession. The Design of it is to make the _Bible_ deliver an obscene Thought: And because the Text would not bend into a Lewd Application; He alters the words for his purpose, but passes it for Scripture still. This sort of Entertainment is frequent in the _Relapse_. Lord _Foplington_ laughs at the publick Solemnities of Religion, as if 'twas a ridiculous piece of Ignorance, to pretend to the Worship of a God. He discourses with _Berinthia_ and _Amanda_ in this manner[150]: _Why Faith Madam,----Sunday is a vile Day, I must confess. A man must have very little to do at Church that can give an account of the Sermon._ And a little after: _is to mind what one should not do. Lory_ tells young _Fashion, I have been in a lamentable Fright ever since that Conscience had the Impudence to intrude into your Company_. His Master makes him this Comfortable Answer. _Be at peace, it will come no more:----I have kick'd it down stairs._ A little before he breaks out into this Rapture. Now Conscience I defie thee![151] By the way we may observe, that this young _Fashion_ is the _Poets_ Favorite.[152] _Berinthia_ and _Worthy_, two _Characters_ of Figure, determine the point thus in defence of Pimping.

Berinth. _Well, I would be glad to have no Bodies Sins to answer for but my own. But where there is a necessity_----[153]

Worth. _Right as you say, where there is a Necessity; A Christian is bound to help his Neighbour._

_Nurse_, after a great deal of Profane Stuff concludes her expostulation in these words: _But his Worship_ (_Young_ Fashion) _over-flows with his Mercy and his Bounty; He is not only pleas'd to forgive us our Sins----but which is more than all, has prevail'd with me to become the Wife of thy Bosom_:[154] This is very heavy, and ill dress'd. And an Atheist must be sharp set to relish it. The Vertuous _Amanda_, makes no scruple to charge the Bible with untruths.

--_What Slippery stuff are Men compos'd of?
Sure the Account of their Creation's false,
And 'twas the Womans Rib that they were form'd of._[155]

Thus this Lady abuses her self, together with the Scripture, and shews her Sense, and her Religion, to be much of a Size.

_Berinthia_, after she has given in a Scheme for the debauching _Amanda_, is thus accosted by _Worthy_: _Thou Angel of Light, let me fall down and, adore thee_![156] A most Seraphick Compliment to a Procuress! And 'tis possible some Angel or other, may thank him for't in due time.