Chapter VIII: Part III: Mediæval Ages (2)

10. A religious sitting by the highway, the king passed by; but the religious took no notice of him. A courtier saying “Do not you see the king?” was answered, _I want nothing of him. Kings are made for subjects, not subjects for kings. Why then should I respect him who is the publick servant?_ This anecdote from Sadi differs much from present Eastern despotism.

11. A courtier went to his master, SUELNUN, king of Egypt, and begged permission to retire; saying, “Though I am night and day anxious in thy service; yet the fear of once displeasing thee makes me wretched.” Suelnun, in tears, exclaimed, _Ah, did I serve God, as thou thy king, I should be one of the just_.

12. A king condemned an innocent man to death, who said, _O king, thy anger rages against me, but will injure thyself_. “How?” rejoined the king. _Because my pain lasts but for a moment; but thine for ever._ Pardon followed.

13. The courtiers of king Nourshivan consulting with him on important business, when the king had spoken, one of them assented to his opinion, against the rest. Being asked the cause, he said, _Human affairs depend on chance, not on wisdom: and, if we err with the king, who shall condemn us?_ ...

17. A king saying to a Dervise, “Do you never think on me?” was answered, _Yes: but it is when I forget God_.

18. A Dervise, in a dream, saw a king in paradise, but a religious in hell, and thought that, upon enquiring the cause, he was told, _The king used to keep company with Dervises; and the Dervise with kings_.

19. LOCMAN, the sage, being asked, where he learned virtue, he answered, _Of the vicious, for they taught me what to shun_.

20. Abu Hurura used often to visit MUSTAPHA, who one day said to him, _O Abu Hurura, visiting seldom feeds love and friendship_.

21. SADI, being taken prisoner by the Franks, or Christians, was redeemed for ten pieces of gold, by one, who also gave him his daughter in marriage, with one hundred pieces of gold as a dower. The lady, being a termagant, once reproached him with this; and he said, _Yes, I was redeemed for ten pieces, and made a slave for a hundred_.

22. Some wicked men using a religious very ill, he went to an old dervise, and complained much. The elder told him, _Son, our habit is that of patience. Why do you wear it, if it does not fit you?_

23. A sage seeing a strong man in a passion, asked the cause, and being told that it was on account of an affronting word, he exclaimed, _O strong man, with a weak mind! who could bear an elephant’s load, yet cannot bear a word_.

24. A lawyer gave his daughter, who was very deformed in marriage to a blind man. A celebrated oculist coming to the place, the lawyer was asked why he did not employ him for his son-in-law? To which he answered, _Why should I endeavour to procure the divorce of my daughter?_

25. Ardeschir enquiring of a physician, how much food was necessary for a day? was answered, eight ounces. Ardeschir said, “How can so little support a man?” The physician replied, _That will support him; if he takes more, he must support it_....

27. A robber said to a beggar, “Art thou not ashamed to stretch out thy hand to all for a piece of copper?” The beggar answered, _It is better to stretch it out for a piece of copper, than have it cut off for a piece of gold_.

29. SADI being about to purchase a house, a Jew came up and said, “I am an old neighbour, and know the house to be good and sufficient. Buy it by all means.” Sadi answered, _The house must be bad if thou art a neighbour_....

31. An old man being asked, why he did not take a wife, answered, _I do not like old women: and a young woman, I judge from that, can never like me_.

32. A courtier sent a foolish son to be educated by a sage. He made no progress, and some time after the sage brought him back, saying, _This boy will never be wiser; and he has even made me foolish in teaching him_.

33. A king sent his son to an instructor, desiring him to educate the boy, as he did his own sons. The preceptor laboured in vain to teach the young prince, though his own sons made great progress. The king sending for him and reproaching him for this; he answered, _O king, the education was the same, but the capacity differed. We find gold in the soil! yet gold is not found in every soil_.

34. A man having sore eyes went to a mule-doctor, who gave him an ointment that struck him blind. The man brought his doctor before the cadi, who acquitted him; saying to the patient, _If you had not been an ass, you would not have applied to a mule-doctor_.

35. Sadi saw two boys, one the son of a rich man, the other of a poor, sitting in a cemetery. The former said “My father’s tomb is marble, marked with letters of gold: but what is your father’s? two turfs and a handful of dust spread over them.” The poor boy answered, _Be silent. Before your father shall have moved his marble! mine shall be already in paradise_.

36. MUHAMMED, the learned priest of Gasala, being asked, how he had acquired so much science? answered, _I never was ashamed to ask and learn what I did not know_....

Jalal uddin Rumi was another Persian who wrote a series of stories conveying moral maxims.

_THE SICK SCHOOLMASTER_

The boys of a certain school were tired of their teacher, as he was very strict in the exaction of diligence; so they consulted together for the best means of getting rid of him for a time. Said they, “Why does he not fall ill, so that he may be obliged to be away from school, and we be released from confinement and work? Alas! he stands as firm as a rock.” One of them, who was wiser than the rest, suggested this plan: “I shall go to the teacher, and ask him why he looks so pale, saying, ‘May it turn out well! But your face has not its usual color. Is it due to the weather, or to fever?’ This will create some alarm in his mind. Then you, brother,” he continued, turning to another boy, “must assist me by using similar words. When you come into the schoolroom you must say to the teacher, ‘I hope, sir, you are well.’ This will tend to increase his apprehension, even though in a slight degree; and you know that even slight doubts are often enough to drive a man mad. Then a third, a fourth, and a fifth boy must one after another express his sympathy in similar words, till at last, when thirty boys successively have given expression to words of like nature, the teacher’s apprehension will be confirmed.”

The boys praised his ingenuity, and wished each other success; and they bound themselves by solemn promises not to shirk doing what was expected of them. Then the first boy bade them take oaths of secrecy, lest some telltale should let the matter out.

Next morning the boys came to school in a cheerful mood, having resolved on adopting the foregoing plan. They all stood outside the schoolhouse, waiting for the arrival of the friend who had helped them in the time of need--since it was he who had originated the plan: it is the head that is the governor of the legs. The first boy arrived, entered the schoolroom, and greeted the teacher with “I hope you are well, sir, but the color of your face is very pale.”

“Nonsense!” said the teacher; “there is nothing the matter with me. Go and take your seat.” But inwardly he was somewhat apprehensive. Another boy came in, and in similar words greeted the teacher, whose misgivings were thereby somewhat increased. And so on, one boy after another greeted him, till his worst apprehensions seemed to be confirmed, and he was in great anxiety regarding the state of his health.

He got enraged at his wife. “Her love for me is waning,” he thought. “I am in this bad state of health, and she did not even ask what was the matter with me. She did not draw my attention to the color of my face. Perhaps she is not unwilling that I should die.”

Full of such thoughts, he came to his home, followed by the boys, and flung open the door. His wife exclaimed, “I hope nothing is the matter with you! Why have you returned so soon?”

“Are you blind?” he answered. “Look at the color of my face, and at my condition! Even strangers show sympathetic alarm about my health.”

“Well, I see nothing wrong,” said the wife. “You must be laboring under some senseless delusion.”

“Woman,” he rejoined impatiently, “you are most obstinate! Can you not perceive the altered hue of my face and the shivering of my body? Go and get my bed made, that I may lie down, for my head is dizzy.”

The bed was prepared, and the teacher lay down on it, giving vent to sighs and groans. The boys he ordered to sit there and read the lessons, which they did with much vexation. They said to themselves, “We did so much to be free, and still we are in confinement. The foundation was not well laid; we are bad architects. Some other plan must now be adopted, so that we may be rid of this annoyance.”

The clever boy who had instigated the first plot advised the others to read their lessons very loudly; and when they did so, he said, in a tone to be overheard by the teacher, “Boys, your voices disturb our teacher. Loud voices will only increase his headache. Is it proper that he should be made to suffer pain for the sake of the trifling fees he gets from us?”

The teacher said, “He is right. Boys, you may go. My headache has increased. Be off with you!” And the boys scampered away home as eagerly as birds fly toward a spot where they see grain.

The mothers of the boys, on seeing them return, got angry, and thus challenged them, “This is the time for you to learn writing, and you are engaged in play. This is the time for acquiring knowledge, and you fly from your books and your teacher.”

The boys urged that it was no fault of theirs, and that they were in no way to blame, for, by the decree of fate, their teacher had become very ill.

The mothers, disbelieving, said, “This is all deceit and falsehood. You would not scruple to tell a hundred lies to get a little quantity of buttermilk. To-morrow morning we shall go to the teacher’s house, and shall ascertain what truth there is in your assertions.”

So the next morning the mothers went to visit the teacher, whom they found lying in bed like a very sick person. He had perspired freely, owing to his having covered himself with blankets. His head was bandaged, and his face was covered with a kerchief. He was groaning in a feeble voice.

The ladies expressed their sympathy, hoped his headache was getting less, and swore by his soul that they had been unaware until quite lately that he was so ill.

“I, too,” said the teacher, “was unaware of my illness. It was through those little bastards that I learned of it.”

--_Stories in Rime (Masnavi)._

_THE INVALID AND HIS DEAF VISITOR_

A deaf man was informed that an neighbor of his was ill, so he resolved upon going to see him. “But,” said he to himself, “owing to my deafness I shall not be able to catch the words of the sick man, whose voice must be very feeble at this time. However, go I must. When I see his lips moving I shall be able to make a reasonably good conjecture of what he is saying. When I ask him, ‘How are you, oh, my afflicted friend?’ he will probably reply, ‘I am well,’ or ‘I am better.’ I shall then say, ‘Thanks be to God! Tell me, what have you taken for food?’ He will probably mention some liquid food or gruel. I shall then wish that the food may agree with him, and shall ask him the name of the physician under whose treatment he is. On his naming the man, I shall say, ‘He is a skilful leech. Since it is he who is attending upon you, you will soon be well. I have had experience of him. Wherever he goes, his patients very soon recover.”

So the deaf man, having prepared himself for the visit, went to the invalid’s bedside, and sat down near the pillow. Then, rubbing his hands together with assumed cheerfulness, he inquired, “How are you?” “I am dying,” replied the patient. “Thanks be to God!” rejoined the deaf man.

The sick man was troubled in his heart, and said to himself, “What kind of thanksgiving is this? Surely he must be an enemy of mine!”--little thinking that his visitor’s remark was but the result of wrong conjecture.

“What have you been eating?” was the next question; to which the reply was, “Poison!” “May it agree with you,” was the wish expressed by the deaf man which only increased the other’s vexation.

“And pray, who is your physician?” again asked the visitor, “Azrael, the Angel of Death. And now, be-gone with you!” growled the invalid. “Oh, is he?” pursued the deaf man. “Then you ought to rejoice, for he is a man of auspicious footsteps. I saw him only just now, and asked him to devote to you his best possible attention.”

With these words he bade the sick man good-by, and withdrew, rejoicing that he had satisfactorily performed a neighborly duty. Meanwhile, the other man was angrily muttering to himself, “This fellow is an implacable foe of mine. I did not know his heart was so full of malignity.”

--_Stories in Rime (Masnavi)._

_OLD AGE--DIALOGUE_

_Old Man._ I am in sore trouble owing to my brain.

_Physician._ The weakness of the brain is due to old age.

_Old Man._ Dark spots are floating before my eyes.

_Physician._ That, too, comes from old age, oh, venerable sheikh!

_Old Man._ My back aches very much.

_Physician._ The result of old age, oh, lean sheikh!

_Old Man._ No food that I take agrees with me.

_Physician._ The failure of the digestive organs is also due to old age.

_Old Man._ I am afflicted with hard breathing.

_Physician._ Yes, the breathing ought to be affected in that manner. When old age comes, it brings a hundred complaints in its train.

_Old Man._ My legs are getting feeble, and I am unable to walk much.

_Physician._ It is nothing but old age which obliges you to sit in a corner.

_Old Man._ My back has become bent like a bow.

_Physician._ This trouble is merely the consequence of old age.

_Old Man._ My eyesight is quite dim, oh, sage physician!

_Physician._ Nothing but old age, oh, wise man!

_Old Man._ Oh, you idiot, always harping on the same theme! Is this all you know of the science of medicine? Fool, does not your reason tell you that God has assigned a remedy to every ailment? You are a stupid ass, and with your paltry stock of learning are still fumbling in the mire!

_Physician._ Oh, you dotard past sixty, know, then, that even this rage and fury is due to old age!

From Abu Ishak we glean this delightful bit of parody on Hafiz.

_PARODY ON HAFIZ_

HAFIZ ABU-ISHAK

Will those who can transmute Will those who sell cooked
dust into gold by looking sheep’s-head give us a sidelong
at it ever give a sidelong glance, when they open
glance at us? their pots in the morning?

The beauteous Turk, who The cook has to-day
is the cause of death to her bought onions for giving a
lovers, has to-day gone forth relish to minced meat. Let
intoxicated. Let us see from us see, now, from whose
whose eyes the heart’s blood eyes tears shall begin to
shall begin to flow. flow.

I have a yearning for se- I have an inclination for
clusion and peace. But, oh! abstinent living and observing
those narcissus-like eyes! fasts. But, oh! in what
The commotion they cause a tempting way doth the
me is inexpressible! roasted lamb wink at me!

No one should give up his No one should partake of
heart and his religion in the sauce to accompany sweetened
expectation of faithfulness rice colored with saffron.
from his sweetheart. My My having done so
having done so has resulted has given me cause for infinite
to me in lifelong repentance. regret.
And from

DO-PYAZAH

_THESE DEFINITIONS_

_Angel._ A hidden telltale.

_King._ The idlest man in the country.

_Minister of State._ The target for the arrows of the sighs of the oppressed.

_Flatterer._ One who drives a profitable trade.

_Lawyer._ One ready to tell any lie.

_Fool._ An official, for instance, who is honest.

_Physician._ The herald of death.

_Widow._ A woman in the habit of praising her husband when he is gone.

_Poet._ A proud beggar.

_Mirror._ One that laughs at you to your face.

_Bribe._ The resource of him who knows he has a bad cause.

_National Calamity._ A ruler who cares for nothing but the pleasures of the harem.

_Salutation._ A polite hint to others to get up and greet you with respect.

_Priest Calling to Prayers._ A disturber of the indolent.

_Faithful Friend._ Money.

_Truthful Man._ One who is regarded as an enemy by every one.

_Silence._ Half consent.

_Service._ Selling one’s independence.

_Hunting._ The occupation of those who have no work to do.

_Mother-in-Law._ A spy domiciled in your house.

_Debtor._ An ass in a quagmire.

_Liar._ A person making frequent use of the expression, “I swear to God it is true!”

_Guest._ One in your house who is impatient to hear the dishes clatter.

_Poverty._ The consequence of marriage.

_Hunger._ Something which falls to the lot of those out of employment.

_Soporific._ Reading the verses of a dull poet.

_Druggist._ One who wishes everybody to be ill.

_Learned Man._ One who does not know how to earn his livelihood.

_Miser’s Eye._ A vessel which is never full.

_DIVING FOR AN EGG--ANECDOTE_

The Emperor Akbar was one day sitting with his attendants in the garden of the palace, close to a large cistern full of water. At the suggestion of a courtier, the emperor commanded some of the men present to procure an egg each, and to place it in the cistern in such a manner that it could easily be found when searched for.

Soon after the order had been obeyed, the Mollah Do-pyazah came to this spot. Akbar then turned to his attendants, saying he had dreamed the night before that there were eggs in the cistern, and that all who were his faithful servants had dived in, and brought out an egg. Whereupon the attendants one by one dived into the water, each one issuing forth with an egg in his hand. Do-pyazah, not disposed himself to enter the water, the emperor asked why he alone held aloof. The mollah, thus pressed, divested himself of his outer garments and plunged in.

He searched for a long time, but could not find a single egg. At length he emerged from the cistern, and, moving his arms in the manner of a cock flapping his wings, he cried aloud, “Cock-a-doodle-doo!”

“What,” asked Akbar, “is the meaning of this?”

“Your Majesty,” came the reply, “those who brought you the eggs were hens, but I am a cock, and you must not expect an egg from me.”

At which Akbar laughed heartily, and had Do-pyazah well rewarded.

* * * * *

The Chinese are more noted for their wit that is wisdom, than for their humor.

Confucius, doubtless the greatest of their philosophers, born 551 B.C., left many sayings which became proverbs, yet which embodied only the elementary morality of all ages and races.

These are some of the sayings from _The Analects of Confucius_.

“While a man’s father is alive, look at the bent of his will; when his father is dead, look at his conduct.”

“An accomplished scholar is not a cooking-pot.”

“When good order prevailed in his country, Ning Wu acted the part of a wise man; when his country was in disorder, he acted the part of a fool. Others may equal his wisdom, but they cannot equal his folly.”

“How can one know about death, when one does not understand life?”

“Four horses cannot overtake the tongue.”

“If you were not covetous, you could not even bribe a man to steal from you.”

“When their betters love the _Rules_ [_of Propriety_], then the folk are easy tools.”

“Why use an ox-knife to kill a hen?”

“There are two classes that never change: the supremely wise and the profoundly stupid.”

“If a man is disliked at forty, he always will be.”

“When driving with a woman, hold the reins in one hand and keep the other behind your back.”

Chwang Tze, another ancient, wrote much of life, death and immortality, but showed little sense of humor therein.

One of his anecdotes, in lighter vein, follows.

_THE PLEASURE OF FISHES--ANECDOTE_

Chwang Tze and a friend had strolled on to a bridge over the Hao, when the former observed, “Look how the minnows are darting about! That is the pleasure of fishes.”

“Not being a fish yourself,” objected the friend, “how can you possibly know in what the pleasure of fishes consists?”

“And you not being I,” retorted Chwang Tze, “how can you know that I do not know?”

To which the friend replied, “If I, not being you, cannot know what you know, it follows that you, not being a fish, cannot know in what the pleasure of fishes consists.”

“Let us go back,” rejoined Chwang Tze, “to your original question. You ask me how I know in what the pleasure of fishes consists. Well, I know that I am enjoying myself over the Hao, and from this I infer that the fishes are enjoying themselves in it.”--_Autumn Floods._

Sung Yu gives us this satirical outburst about

_POPULARITY_

The eagle is king of the birds; among fishes
Leviathan holds the first place.
Cleaving the far, crimson clouds,
The eagle soars upward apace,
With only the blue sky above,
Into remote realms of space;
But the grandeur of heaven and earth
Is naught to the hedge-sparrow race.
The whale through one oceans swims,
To take its course through a second;
While the minnow measures a puddle
As the width of the sea might be reckoned.
And just as with birds and fishes,
Is the case, to be sure, with man.
Here soars a resplendent eagle,
There swims one huge leviathan:
Behold the philosopher sapient,
Whose fame will never grow dim;
Alone in the might of his wisdom--
Can the rabble understand him?

Yuan Mei, however, possessed a satiric humor so keen as to place him among the true wits.

His letter to a friend might have been written today and his Cookery Notes are such as are found in our current comics.

_A STANZA FOR A TOBACCO-POUCH_

DEAR FRIEND:

I have received your letter of congratulation, and am much obliged. At the end of the letter, however, you mention that you have a tobacco-pouch for me, which will be forwarded upon the receipt of a stanza. But such an exchange would seem to establish a curious precedent. If for a tobacco pouch you expect in return a stanza, for a hat or a pair of boots you would demand a whole poem; while your brother might bestow a cloak or coat upon me, and believe himself entitled to an epic. At this rate, dear friend, your congratulations would become rather costly to me.

Let me instruct you, on the other hand, that a man once gave a thousand yards of silk for a phrase, and another man a beautiful girl for a stanza--which makes your tobacco-pouch look like a slight inducement, does it not?

Mencius forbids the taking advantage of people on the ground of one’s rank or merits. How much worse, therefore, to do so by virtue of a mere tobacco-pouch! Elegant as a tobacco-pouch may be, it is only the work of a sempstress; but my poetry, poor as it may be, is the work of my brain. The exchange would evidently be complimentary to the sempstress, and the reverse to me.

Now, if you had taken needle and thread and made the pouch yourself--ah, then what a difference! Then, indeed, a dozen stanzas would not have been too great a return. But it would hardly be proper to ask a famous warrior like yourself to lay down sword and shield for needle and thread. Nor, dear friend, am I likely to get the pouch at all, if you take offense at these little jokes of mine. What I advise you to do is, to bear with me patiently, send the tobacco-pouch, and wait for the stanza until it comes.

--_Letters._

_RECIPES_

Birds’ nests and water-slugs have no particular flavor of their own, and are therefore not worth eating.

The best cook cannot prepare artistically more than five or six different dishes in one day. A host of mine once had forty courses served at a meal, and as soon as I got home I called for a bowl of rice to still my hunger.

In order to enjoy the pleasures of the palate to the fullest degree, you must be sober. If you are drunk, you cannot tell one flavor from another.

The ingredients of a dish should always harmonize with one another--like two people in marriage.

Some cooks use the flesh of chickens and pigs for one soup, and as chickens and pigs have souls, they will hold those cooks to account, in the next world, for their treatment of them in this.

Bamboo-shoots ought never to be cut with a knife which has just been used on onions.

While cooking, do not allow ashes from your pipe, perspiration from your face, soot from the fuel, or beetles from the ceiling to drop into the saucepan: the guests would be likely to pass the dish by.--_Cookery Book_

* * * * *

The following proverbs are generally attributed to the Chinese, some of them being the wisdom of Confucius.

_PROVERBS_

An avaricious man, who can never get enough, is like a snake trying to swallow an elephant.

To draw the picture of a tiger, and make a dog out of it, is to imitate a masterpiece and spoil it.

Human pleasures are like the flittings of sparrows.

A narrow-minded man resembles a frog in a well.

Do not pull up your stockings in a melon-patch, or straighten your hat in a peach orchard; any one seeing you may think you are stealing.

To talk much and arrive nowhere is the same as climbing a tree to catch a fish.

One thread does not make a rope.

The tiger does not walk with the hind.

You can neither buy wood in the forest nor fish by the lake.

If a blind man leads another blind man, they will both fall into a hole.

No maker of idols worships the gods; he knows their composition too well.

A man with a purple nose may be very temperate in drink, only no one will believe it.

Money makes the blind man see.

We admire our own writings, but other men’s wives.

If you are afraid of being found out, leave it alone.

Bend your neck if the eaves are low.

It’s not the wine that makes a man drunk; it’s the man himself.

A whisper on earth sounds like thunder in heaven.

To get a favor granted is harder than to kill a tiger.

Sweep the snow from your own door.

If there were no error there could be no truth.

A needle never pricks with both ends.

Don’t put two saddles on one horse.

Trust nature rather than a bad doctor.

* * * * *

The Japanese offer little that can be quoted. Their comedies are long and not very funny, their wit is heavy and bitterly satirical.

One specimen is given from _The Land of Dreams_ by Kiokutei Bakin.

_ON CLOTHES AND COMFORTS_

However much money you have, you will not keep it long; it will leave you, just like a traveler who has stayed overnight at an inn. The only substantial things in life are food and drink. Any little house you can just crawl into is large enough. The only difference between an emperor’s palace and a straw hut is in their size and their situation, one being in town and the other in the country. A single room, with a mat long enough for you to stretch out your whole body, is quite sufficient lodging. As for the clothes which you dress your carcass in, the richest brocades and the commonest sackcloth differ only in being clean or dirty. After you are dead, no one can tell, from looking at your naked body, what sort of clothes you wore while alive. If these facts were to become recognized, our clothes would be patched with any sort of material or color. Now, however, a man will buy new, expensive garments which he does not really want, owe the money for them, strut about in these borrowed plumes, and finally pawn them.

--_The Land of Dreams._

_COLLECTIONS_

Apologues and stories, now common to all the world, had their origin in remote antiquity. Eastern narratives were for the most part brought to Europe orally, but some were later translated from the Oriental writings.

Since at first, Religion and Learning went hand in hand, these stories were of a moral and instructive nature. Their wit was the wit of wisdom, the pithiness of graphic representation of truth.

But with the development of the wit of amusement, the rise of ribald laughter and the supremacy of priests and monks, the stories took on a mirthful character which may or may not have added to their efficacy as cautionary teachings.

Humor, then, as now, was founded on the feeling of superiority which comes from knowledge. The stories were invariably of the discomfiture of some foolish person, and thereby, either definitely or tacitly advised against that particular foolishness.

Narrative fiction was entirely in parables or apologues, the latter term having come to be used exclusively for the tales in which animals are invested with human traits.

Fables, also, is a term usually restricted to moral lessons taught by anecdotes of beasts in human conditions.

As usual in the matter of legendary literature various countries contend for the honor of producing the first fables.

The bestowal of the palm rests between the Hindus and the Hebrews, but the decision may never be made.

A plausible assumption for the necessity of fables lies in the fact that it was not the part of wisdom openly to administer reproof or advice to the Asiatic potentates, wherefore it was done by the device of speaking through the mouths of the fictitious characters.

And, through the ages, this plan has been found to work with intractables of less celebrity.

But the question of the origin of these stories is outside our Outline,--we may merely state that before, during and after the Crusades, the flood of stories and tales from the Orient into Europe was continuous.

Which accounts for the fact that among the oldest stories of the various countries, duplicates are always found, and the ancient jests of the Far East have raised and will raise appreciative laughter as they are translated into all European tongues, including the Scandinavian.

As religion gave rise to laughter, so religion was the medium for disseminating mirth.

The preachers of the mediæval ages used many amusing stories in their sermons and the monks often preserved these, with additions of their own, in enduring literature.

But literature then was not in the form of circulating libraries, so the tales traveled from mouth to mouth, gaining sometimes in interest and sometimes losing charm or worth.

Perhaps about the tenth century translations began to be grouped into collections, in Europe, and among the first was the Greek version of the Fables of Pilpay. Soon after came the _Book of Sindibad_, which would seem to be the original form of the story of Scheherazade.

But in most cases the monks were the go-between.

Their zeal and indefatigability produced masses of material, primarily designed for the use of preachers, but easily adopted by the laymen.

The _Sermones_ of Jacques de Vitry, Crusader and prelate, and the _Liber de Donis_ of Etienne de Bourbon are both remarkable collections that predated and later gave material to the Gesta Romanorum.

As an instance of the ubiquity of stories, it may be mentioned here that in both the books above noticed, occurs the old tale of the husband who had two wives, the younger one of whom plucked out all his gray-white hairs, the older one plucked out all his black hairs, leaving the poor chap entirely bald. This story is also in the Talmud, in Chinese Jestbooks and in innumerable others.

So with many of the ancient tales. They come down through the Fabliaux, Gesta Romanorum, the Heptameron, the Decameron and on to our own dinner tables, where many of the “latest” are merely rehashed witticisms of the ancient monks and priests.

Nor are the stories fastened on to celebrities often authentic. Many of Sydney Smith’s witticisms hark back to the Eastern Tales, most of Joe Miller’s jests have similar paternity.

Hierocles made a famous collection of old stories translated into Greek. Others followed rapidly even before the invention of printing.

After that achievement, collections of stories flooded the book mart even as they do today.

Selections from various collections follow.

Perhaps the oldest collection of tales in the world is that known as the _Fables of Bidpai or Pilpay_. Both author and date of production are unknown, but tradition tells us that they were written in Sanscrit and were the work of one Vishnu Sarma, who wrote them for the advice and edification of certain princes. The book is enormously long and though not of humorous intent shows much of the native wit of the country.

FABLES

_THE GREEDY AND AMBITIOUS CAT_

There was formerly an old Woman in a village, extremely thin, half-starved, and meager. She lived in a little cottage as dark and gloomy as a fool’s heart, and withal as close shut up as a miser’s hand. This miserable creature had for the companion of her wretched retirements a Cat meager and lean as herself; the poor creature never saw bread, nor beheld the face of a stranger, and was forced to be contented with only smelling the mice in their holes, or seeing the prints of their feet in the dust. If by some extraordinary lucky chance this miserable animal happened to catch a mouse, she was like a beggar that discovers a treasure; her visage and her eyes were inflamed with joy, and that booty served her for a whole week; and out of the excess of her admiration, and distrust of her own happiness, she would cry out to herself, “Heavens! Is this a dream, or is it real?” One day, however, ready to die for hunger, she got upon the ridge of her enchanted castle, which had long been the mansion of famine for cats, and spied from thence another Cat, that was stalking upon a neighbour’s wall like a Lion, walking along as if she had been counting her steps, and so fat that she could hardly go. The old Woman’s Cat, astonished to see a creature of her own species so plump and so large, with a loud voice, cries out to her pursy neighbour, “In the name of pity, speak to me, thou happiest of the Cat kind! why, you look as if you came from one of the Khan of Kathai’s feasts; I conjure ye, to tell me how, or in what region it is that you get your skin so well stuffed?” “Where?” replied the fat one; “why, where should one feed well but at a King’s table? I go to the house,” continued she, “every day about dinner-time, and there I lay my paws upon some delicious morsel or other, which serves me till the next, and then leave enough for an army of mice, which under me live in peace and tranquillity; for why should I commit murder for a piece of tough and skinny mouse flesh, when I can live on venison at a much easier rate?” The lean Cat, on this, eagerly inquired the way to this house of plenty, and entreated her plump neighbour to carry her one day along with her. “Most willingly,” said the fat Puss; “for thou seest I am naturally charitable, and thou art so lean that I heartily pity thy condition.” On this promise they parted; and the lean Cat returned to the old Woman’s chamber, where she told her dame the story of what had befallen her. The old Woman prudently endeavoured to dissuade her Cat from prosecuting her design, admonishing her withal to have a care of being deceived. “For, believe me,” said she, “the desires of the ambitious are never to be satiated, but when their mouths are stuffed with the dirt of their graves. Sobriety and temperance are the only things that truly enrich people. I must tell thee, poor silly Cat, that they who travel to satisfy their ambition, have no knowledge of the good things they possess, nor are they truly thankful to Heaven for what they enjoy, who are not contented with their fortune.”

The poor starved Cat, however, had conceived so fair an idea of the King’s table, that the old Woman’s good morals and judicious remonstrances entered in at one ear and went out at the other; in short, she departed the next day with the fat Puss to go to the King’s house; but alas! before she got thither, her destiny had laid a snare for her. For being a house of good cheer, it was so haunted with cats, that the servants had, just at this time, orders to kill all the cats that came near it, by reason of a great robbery committed the night before in the King’s larder by several grimalkins. The old Woman’s Cat, however, pushed on by hunger, entered the house, and no sooner saw a dish of meat unobserved by the cooks, but she made a seizure of it, and was doing what for many years she had not done before, that is, heartily filling her belly; but as she was enjoying herself under the dresser-board, and feeding heartily upon her stolen morsels, one of the testy officers of the kitchen, missing his breakfast, and seeing where the poor Cat was solacing herself with it, threw his knife at her with such an unlucky hand, that he stuck her full in the breast. However, as it has been the providence of Nature to give his creature nine lives instead of one, poor Puss made a shift to crawl away, after she had for some time shammed dead: but, in her flight, observing the blood come streaming from her wound; “Well,” said she, “let me but escape this accident, and if ever I quit my old hold and my own mice for all the rarities in the King’s kitchen, may I lose all my nine lives at once.”

_A RAVEN, A FOX, AND A SERPENT_

A Raven had once built her nest for many seasons together in a convenient cleft of a mountain, but however pleasing the place was to her, she had always reason enough to resolve to lay there no more; for every time she hatched, a Serpent came and devoured her young ones. The Raven complaining to a Fox that was one of her friends, said to him, “Pray tell me, what would you advise me to do to be rid of this Serpent?” “What do you think to do?” answered the Fox. “Why, my present intent is,” replied the Raven, “to go and peck out his eyes when he is asleep, that so he may no longer find the way to my nest.” The Fox disapproved this design, and told the Raven, that it became a prudent person to manage his revenge in such a manner, that no mischief might befall himself in taking it: “Never run yourself,” says he, “into the misfortune that once befell the Crane, of which I will tell you the Fable.”

_THE CRANE AND THE CRAY-FISH_

A Crane had once settled her habitation by the side of a broad and deep lake, and lived upon such fish as she could catch in it; these she got in plenty enough for many years; but at length being become old and feeble, she could fish no longer. In this afflicting circumstance she began to reflect, with sorrow, on the carelessness of her past years; “I did ill,” said she to herself, “in not making in my youth necessary provision to support me in my old age; but, as it is, I must now make the best of a bad market, and use cunning to get a livelihood as I can”: with this resolution she placed herself by the waterside, and began to sigh and look mighty melancholy. A Cray-fish, perceiving her at a distance, accosted her, and asked her why she appeared so sad? “Alas,” said she, “how can I otherwise choose but grieve, seeing my daily nourishment is like to be taken from me? for I just now heard this talk between two fishermen passing this way: said the one to the other, Here is great store of fish, what think you of clearing this pond? to whom his companion answered, no; there is more in such a lake: let us go thither first, and then come hither the day afterwards. This they will certainly perform; and then,” added the Crane, “I must soon prepare for death.”

The Cray-fish, on this, went to the fish, and told them what she had heard: upon which the poor fish, in great perplexity, swam immediately to the Crane, and addressing themselves to her, told her what they had heard, and added, “We are now in so great a consternation, that we are come to desire your protection. Though you are our enemy, yet the wise tell us, that they who make their enemy their sanctuary, may be assured of being well received: you know full well that we are your daily food; and if we are destroyed, you, who are now too old to travel in search of food, must also perish; we pray you, therefore, for your own sake, as well as ours, to consider, and tell us what you think is the best course for us to take.” To which the Crane replied, “That which you acquaint me with, I heard myself from the mouths of the fishermen; we have no power sufficient to withstand them; nor do I know any other way to secure you, but this: it will be many months before they can clear the other pond they are to go about first: and, in the mean time, I can at times, and as my strength will permit me, remove you one after another into a little pond here hard by, where there is very good water, and where the fishermen can never catch you, by reason of the extraordinary depth.” The fish approved this counsel, and desired the Crane to carry them one by one into this pond. Nor did she fail to fish up three or four every morning, but she carried them no farther than to the top of a small hill, where she eat them: and thus she feasted herself for a while.

But one day, the Cray-fish, having a desire to see this delicate pond, made known her curiosity to the Crane, who, bethinking herself that the Cray-fish was her most mortal enemy, resolved to get rid of her at once, and murder her as she had done the rest; with this design she flung the Cray-fish upon her neck, and flew towards the hill. But when they came near the place, the Cray-fish, spying at a distance the small bones of her slaughtered companions, mistrusted the Crane’s intention, and laying hold of a fair opportunity, got her neck in her claw, and grasped it so hard, that she fairly saved herself, and strangled the Crane.

* * * * *

“This example,” says the Fox, “shows you, that crafty tricking people often become victims to their own cunning.” The Raven, returning thanks to the Fox for his good advice, said, “I shall not by any means neglect your wholesome instructions; but what shall I do?” “Why,” replied the Fox, “you must snatch up something that belongs to some stout man or other, and let him see what you do, to the end he may follow you. Which that he may easily do, do you fly slowly; and when you are just over the Serpent’s hole, let fall the thing that you hold in your beak or talons whatever it be, for then the person that follows you, seeing the Serpent come forth, will not fail to knock him on the head.” The Raven did as the Fox advised him, and by that means was delivered from the Serpent.

_THE MERCHANT AND HIS FRIEND_

A Certain Merchant, said Kalila, pursuing her discourse, had once a great desire to make a long journey. Now in regard that he was not very wealthy, it is requisite, said he to himself, that before my departure I should leave some part of my estate in the city, to the end that if I meet with ill luck in my travels, I may have wherewithal to keep me at my return. To this purpose he delivered a great number of bars of iron, which were a principal part of his wealth, in trust to one of his friends, desiring him to keep them during his absence; and then taking his leave, away he went. Some time after, having had but ill luck in his travels, he returned home; and the first thing he did was to go to his Friend, and demand his iron: but his Friend, who owed several sums of money, having sold the iron to pay his own debts, made him this answer: “Truly friend,” said he, “I put your iron into a room that was close locked, imagining it would have been there as secure as my own gold; but an accident has happened which nobody could have suspected, for there was a rat in the room eat it all up.” The Merchant, pretending ignorance, replied, “It is a terrible misfortune to me indeed; but I know of old that rats love iron extremely; I have suffered by them many times before in the same manner, and therefore can the better bear my present affliction.” This answer extremely pleased the Friend, who was glad to hear the Merchant so well inclined to believe that the rats had eaten his iron; and to remove all suspicions, desired him to dine with him the next day. The Merchant promised he would, but in the mean time he met in the middle of the city one of his Friend’s children; the child he carried home, and locked up in a room. The next day he went to his Friend, who seemed to be in great affliction, which he asked him the cause of, as if he had been perfectly ignorant of what had happened. “Oh, my dear friend,” answered the other, “I beg you to excuse me, if you do not see me so cheerful as otherwise I would be; I have lost one of my children; I have had him cried by sound of trumpet, but I know not what is become of him.” “Oh!” replied the Merchant, “I am grieved to hear this; for yesterday in the evening, as I parted from hence, I saw an owl in the air with a child in his claws; but whether it were yours I cannot tell.” “Why, you most foolish and absurd creature!” replied the Friend, “are you not ashamed to tell such an egregious lie? An owl, that weighs at most not above two or three pounds, can he carry a boy that weighs above fifty?” “Why,” replied the merchant, “do you make such a wonder at that? as if in a country where one rat can eat an hundred ton weight of iron, it were such a wonder for an owl to carry a child that weighs not above fifty pounds in all.” The Friend, upon this, found that the Merchant was no such fool as he took him to be, begged his pardon for the cheat which he designed to have put upon him, restored him the value of his iron, and so had his son again.

* * * * *

Other and very ancient Hindoo stories follow.

_THE MAID, THE MONKEY, AND THE MENDICANT_