Chapter II: The Original Appointment of Marriage

The Author of our being, when he formed the first pair of human beings, left them not to the mere instincts of nature, as he did in the case of the inferior animals; but for them he especially instituted the contract of marriage; so that marriage is a divine appointment. At the Almighty’s command the waters brought forth in abundance; myriads of fishes swam in the sea; innumerable birds of every description winged their way in the firmament; animals of all kinds, from the gigantic elephant to the smallest creature imaginable, wandered up and down on the earth, and every kind of creeping thing; the largest of the feathered tribe built nests on the inaccessible cliffs; the lion and the tiger, with other ferocious beasts, prowled the forests; cattle and sheep and the mild animals cropped the herbage; the dove chose her mate; the nightingale warbled her song; the small insects, to which the leaf was a world, and the minute animalcule, whose universe was a water-drop—all were formed by the Almighty—and He commanded that they were to “Be fruitful, and multiply, in the earth.”

It was different, however, with regard to the human family. As the members of that family were formed with an elaboration not displayed in other departments of creation, as their structure was different from that of any other creature, as man was formed from the dust of the earth, and God breathed into him the breath of life, as the woman was made from a portion of the man—bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh,—consequently there was a difference in the way in which they were directed to fulfil the great purpose of their creation, namely, to replenish the earth.

The Almighty declared that it was not good for man to be alone, therefore woman was formed for an helpmeet for him. Throughout the teeming earth, the blue expanse, and the deep water, there was not a creature but what had found a mate; our first parent stood alone, without the society of one bearing his nature—isolated from the company of one with whom he could hold converse, and who could share in the enjoyments of the happy sphere in which he was at first placed. The Great Creator made woman, brought them together, and instituted marriage. Equal power and dominion over the inferior creatures was given to the woman, as that exercised by the man; and it was not until the disobedience and sin of our first parents, that the original order of things was changed, and that anything was heard of the subjection of Eve to Adam.

The institution of Marriage was a wise and judicious arrangement, and peculiarly adapted to the position of the human race. It was of the greatest consequence to man that he should have a companion, a friend, a wife; and for this purpose it was ordained that a man should leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his own wife, and they twain should be one flesh.

In what emphatic language is the union of husband and wife enforced: “they twain shall be one flesh.” For the future their joys and their sorrows are to be identical. They are not separate individuals as two male persons are considered, but male and female—wife and husband—one. Alas! how frequently is this oneness marred and broken—a diversity of interest and feeling appears to exist between many married couples, and how often the adage of, “a house divided against itself cannot stand,” is verified. It would be well if such couples would oftener remember the solemn injunction—“they twain shall be one flesh.” It seems to an observer, that if such couples ever loved one another, they lavished and exhausted that love in the early days of marriage, and filled up the void by feelings of enmity and strife. This ought not to be the state of a domestic household; for though the wife may be possessed of the key of every drawer and cupboard in the house, if she does not possess the key of her husband’s heart, she is destitute of that which is of more value to her than every other earthly treasure. The husband may be affectionate, kind, and respectful to his wife, but if she is not identical with himself, the depository and confidante of all his feelings and aspirations, there is something amiss. It is an impossibility for married people to love and trust each other too much, and as impossible for them to feel a strong and deep affection for each other, if they do not consider their interests to be identical.

When Adam awoke out of the deep sleep into which he had been cast by the Almighty, and beheld the lovely being in his presence, he was told by his and her maker, that the woman was given to be _with_ him, not given _to_ him; for so we understand by the words of Adam, when he would have framed an excuse for his sin—“The woman that thou gavest to be with me.” Therefore the inference is plain that woman was not given to man to be his slave, nor the victim of his caprice or violence, nor the plaything of an hour, but a partner and confidante in all that concerned him; the sharer of his joys and sorrows, of his prosperity and adversity. Woman was not to be subjected to harsh and cruel treatment, but to be cherished and protected; and to be on an equality in every way with man. There is great force and truth in what was penned by an aged writer—“Man and wife are equally concerned to avoid all offences to each other in the beginning of their conversation; a very little thing can blast an infant blossom; and the breath of the south can shake the little rings of the vine, when first they begin to curl like the locks of a new-weaned boy; but when by age and consolidation they stiffen into the hardness of a stem, and have by the warm embraces of the sun, and the kisses of heaven, brought forth their clusters they can endure the storms of the north, and the loud noise of the tempest, and yet never be broken.”

Peculiar scope is given for the exercise of the highest qualities of the heart, through the obligations which belong to the state of matrimony. The presence of our Lord and Saviour at a marriage feast, and the example of the early Christians, give force to the statement that marriage is a divine institution. Marriage was held in great esteem by the venerable fathers of ancient days, and considered highly honourable, whilst celibacy was discountenanced by them.

Among the Jews, marriage was held in the greatest esteem and favour, and it is said that the early Christians would never allow any one to sustain the office of a magistrate except those who were married. Laws were made by the Pagans to promote the institution of marriage. A festival was instituted by the Lacedæmonians, at which those men, who were unmarried, were reviled and scourged by the women, and deemed unworthy to serve the republic. Among the Romans, those who had been several times married were distinguished, and received great honour from their fellow countrymen, crowns and wreaths, were placed on their heads, and in their public rejoicings they appeared with palms in their hands, signifying that they had been instrumental in adding to the glory of the empire. It is related by St. Jerome, that they covered a man with bays, and ordered him to accompany his wife’s corpse in funeral pomp, with a crown on his head, and a palm branch in his hand, it being considered highly necessary that he should be thus honoured and carried in triumph, seeing that he had been married _twenty times_, and his wife _twenty-two_.

The marriage ceremony being solemnized in accordance with the rites of the early Christian Church, the veil (a Pagan custom of former times) was preserved, and from this observance of veiling the word nuptials is derived. The use of the ring was also a matter of importance in the ceremony; the solemn kiss was imparted, and the practice of joining hands was observed. Usually, at the conclusion of the ceremony, the bride was crowned—occasionally both the bride and the bridegroom—with wreaths of myrtle.—The lace veil and the wreath of orange blossoms, which is now such a necessary adornment in bridal attire, may be traced to the practice pursued by bridal parties in former times.

The wedding ring is an emblem of many significant qualifications. Gold being the noblest and purest, as well as the most enduring—it is made of that metal.—Its circular form denotes that form to be the most perfect of all figures, and the hieroglyphic of eternity. Its being entirely free from ornament denotes the perfect simplicity and plainness of wedded life. The ring is put on the left hand because of its being nearest the heart; and on the fourth finger on account of some supposed connection between that finger, more than the others, with the seat of life. The ring is the acknowledged pledge of the bestowal of authority, as in former times the giving of it was regarded as the delegation of all the husband’s authority, and conferred upon the person receiving it, entire supremacy over every thing in the husband’s possession.

It would be an easy task to continue this chapter much farther, by attempting to pourtray the beauty and virtue of marriage, and endeavouring to enforce the obligation of it on all who are proper subjects to engage in it, but we will now close the chapter by saying, that the instincts of nature yearn towards the opposite sex. We long to love and be loved. We feel that within us which inclines us to seek the society of the other sex; a monitor that warns us to refrain from unhallowed love: and a voice which invites us to seek that state of matrimony, which is sanctioned by human and divine law.