Chapter XXVII: Sir Moses Mainchance

OUR friend Billy, as the foregoing letter shows, was now very
comfortably installed in his quarters, and his presence brought
sundry visitors, as well to pay their respects to him and the
family, as to see how matters were progressing.

Mr. and Mrs. Rocket Larkspur, Mrs. Blurkins, and Mrs.
Dotherington, also Mrs. Crickleton came after their castor-oil
entertainment, and Mrs. and Miss Wasperton, accompanied by their
stiff friend Miss Freezer, who had the reputation of being very
satirical. Then there were Mr. Tight and Miss Neate, chaperoned
by fat Mrs. Plumberry, of Hollingdale Lodge, and several others.
In fact Billy had created a sensation in the country, such
godsends as a London dandy not being of every-day occurrence in
the country, and everybody wanted to see the great “catch.” How
they magnified him! His own mother wouldn’t have known him under
the garbs he assumed; now a Lord’s son, now a Baronet’s, now the
Richest Commoner in England; with, oh glorious recommendation! no
Papa to consult in the matter of a wife. Some said not even a
Mamma, but there the reader knows they were wrong. In proportion
as they lauded Billy they decried Mrs. Yammerton; she was a
nasty, cunning, designing woman, always looking after somebody.

Mrs. Wasperton, alluding to Billy’s age, declared that it was
just like kidnapping a child, and she inwardly congratulated
herself that she had never been guilty of such meanness. Billy,
on his part, was airified and gay, showing off to the greatest
advantage, perfectly unconscious that he was the observed of all
observers. Like Mrs. Moffatt he never had the same dress on
twice, and was splendid in his jewelry.

Among the carriage company who came to greet him was the sporting
Baronet, Sir Moses Mainchance, whose existence we have already
indicated, being the same generous gentleman that presented Major
Yammerton with a horse, and then made him pay for it.

Sir Moses had heard of Billy’s opulence, and being a man of great
versatility, he saw no reason why he should not endeavour to
partake of it. He now came grinding up in his dog cart, with his
tawdry cockaded groom (for he was a Deputy-Lieutenant of Hit-im
and Holt-im shire), to lay the foundation of an invitation, and
was received with the usual _wow, wow, wow, wow_, of Fury, the
terrier, and the coat shuffling of the Bumbler.

If the late handsome Recorder of London had to present this ugly
old file to the Judges as one of the Sheriffs of London and
Middlesex, he would most likely introduce him in such terms as
the following:—

“My Lords, I have the honour to present to your Lordships’ (hem)
notice Sir Moses Mainchance, (cough) Baronet, and (hem)
foxhunter, who has been unanimously chosen by the (hem) livery of
London to fill the high and important (cough) office of Sheriff
of that ancient and opulent city. My Lords, Sir Moses, as his
name indicates, is of Jewish origin. His great-grandfather, Mr.
Moses Levy, I believe dealt in complicated penknives,
dog-collars, and street sponges. His grandfather, more ambitious,
enlarged his sphere of action, and embarked in the old-clothes
line. He had a very extensive shop in the Minories, and dealt in
rhubarb and gum arabic as well. He married a lady of the name of
Smith, not an uncommon one in this country, who inheriting a
large fortune from her uncle, Mr. Mainchance, Mr. Moses Levy
embraced Christianity, and dropping the name of Levy became Mr.
Mainchance, Mr. Moses Mainchance, the founder of the present most
important and distinguished family. His son, the Sheriff elect’s
father, also carried on the business in the Minories, adding very
largely to his already abundant wealth, and espousing a lady of
the name of Brown.

“In addition to the hereditary trade he opened a curiosity shop
in the west end of London, where, being of a highly benevolent
disposition, he accommodated young gentlemen whose parents were
penurious,—unjustly penurious of course,—with such sums of money
as their stations in life seemed likely to enable them to repay.

“But, my Lords, the usury laws, as your Lordships will doubtless
recollect, being then in full operation, to the great detriment
of heirs-at-law, Mr. Mainchance, feeling for the difficulties of
the young, introduced an ingenious mode of evading them, whereby
_some_ article of _vertu_—generally a picture or something of
that sort—was taken as half, or perhaps three-quarters of the
loan, and having passed into the hands of the borrower was again
returned to Mr. Mainchance at its real worth, a Carlo Dolce, or a
Coal Pit, as your Lordships doubtless know, being capable of
representing any given sum of money. This gentleman, my Lords,
the Sheriff elect’s father, having at length paid the debt of
nature—the only debt I believe that he was ever slow in
discharging—the opulent gentleman who now stands at my side, and
whom I have the honour of presenting to the Court, was enabled
through one of those monetary transactions to claim the services
of a distinguished politician now no more, and obtain that
hereditary rank which he so greatly adorns. On becoming a baronet
Sir Moses Mainchance withdrew from commercial pursuits, and set
up for a gentleman, purchasing the magnificent estate of Pangburn
Park, in Hit-im and Hold-im shire, of which county he is a
Deputy-Lieutenant, getting together an unrivalled pack of
foxhounds—second to none as I am instructed—and hunting the
country with great circumspection; and he requests me to add, he
will be most proud and happy to see your Lordships to take a day
with his hounds whenever it suits you, and also to dine with him
this evening in the splendid Guildhall of the ancient and
renowned City of London.’”

The foregoing outline, coupled with Sir Moses’ treatment of the
Major, will give the reader some idea of the character of the
gentleman who had sought the society of our hero. In truth, if
nature had not made him the meanest, Sir Moses would have been
the most liberal of mankind, for his life was a continual
struggle between the magnificence of his offers and the penury of
his performances. He was perpetually forcing favours upon people,
and then backing out when he saw they were going to be accepted.
It required no little face to encounter the victim of such a
recent “do” as the Major’s, but Sir Moses was not to be foiled
when he had an object in view. Telling his groom to stay at the
door, and asking in a stentorian voice if Mr. Pringle is at home,
so that there may be no mistake as to whom he is calling upon,
the Baronet is now ushered into the drawing-room, where the
dandified Billy sits in all the dangerous proximity of three
pretty girls without their Mamma. Mrs. Yammerton knew when to be
out. “Good morning, young ladies!” exclaims Sir Moses gaily,
greeting them all round—“Mr. Pringle,” continued he, turning to
Billy, “allow me to introduce myself—I believe I have the
pleasure of addressing a nephew of my excellent old friend Sir
Jonathan Pringle, and I shall be most happy if I can contribute
in any way to your amusement while in this neighbourhood. Tell me
now,” continued he, without waiting for Billy’s admission or
rejection of kindred with Sir Jonathan, “tell me now, when you
are not engaged in this delightful way,” smiling round on the
beauties, “would you like to come and have a day with my hounds?”

Billy shuddered at the very thought, but quickly recovering his
equanimity, he replied, “Yarse, he should like it very much.

“Oh, Mr. Pringle’s a mighty hunter!” exclaimed Miss Yammerton,
who really thought he was.—“Very good!” exclaimed Sir Moses,
“very good! Then I’ll tell you what we’ll do. We meet on Monday
at the Crooked Billet on the Bushmead Road—Tuesday at Stubbington
Hill—Thursday, Woolerton, by Heckfield—Saturday, the Kennels.
S’pose now you come to me on Sunday, I would have said Saturday,
only I’m engaged to dine with Lord Oilcake, but you wouldn’t mind
coming over on a Sunday, I dare say, would you?” and without
waiting for an answer he went on to say, “Come on Sunday, I’ll
send my dogcart for you, the thing I have at the door, we’ll then
hunt Monday and Tuesday, dine at the Club at Hinton on Wednesday,
where we always have a capital dinner, and a party of excellent
fellows, good singing and all sorts of fun, and take Thursday at
Woolerton, in your way home—draw Shawley Moss, the Withy beds at
Langton, Tangleton Brake, and so on, but sure to find before we
get to the Brake, for there were swarms of foxes on the moss the
last time we were there, and capital good ones they are. Dom’d if
they aren’t. So know I think you couldn’t be better Thursday, and
I’ll have a two-stalled stable ready for you on Sunday, so that’s
a bargain—ay, young ladies, isn’t it?” appealing to our fair
friends. And now fine Billy, who had been anxiously waiting to
get a word in sideways while all this dread enjoyment was
paraded, proceeded to make a vigorous effort to deliver himself
from it. He was very much obliged to this unknown friend of his
unknown uncle, Sir Jonathan, but he had only one horse, and was
afraid he must decline. “Only one horse!” exclaimed Sir Moses,
“only one horse!” who had heard he had ten, “ah, well, never
mind,” thinking he would sell him one. “I’ll tell you what I’ll
do, I’ll mount you on the Tuesday—I’ll mount you on the
Tuesday—dom’d if I won’t—and that’ll make it all right—and
that’ll make all right.” So extending his hand he said, “Come on
Sunday then, come on Sunday,” and, bowing round to the ladies, he
backed out of the room lest his friend the Major might appear and
open his grievance about the horse. Billy then accompanied him to
the door, where Sir Moses, pointing to the gaudy vehicle, said,
“Ah, there’s the dog-cart you see, there’s the dog-cart, much at
your service, much at your service,” adding, as he placed his
foot upon the step to ascend, “Our friend the Major here I make
no doubt will lend you a horse to put in it, and between
ourselves,” concluded he in a lower tone, “you may as well try if
you can’t get him to lend you a second horse to bring with you.”
So saying, Sir Moses again shook hands most fervently with his
young friend, the nephew of Sir Jonathan, and mounting the
vehicle soused down in his seat and drove off with the air of a
Jew bailiff in his Sunday best.

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Of course, when Billy returned to the drawing-room the young
ladies were busy discussing the Baronet, aided by Mamma, who had
gone up stairs on the sound of wheels to reconnoitre her person,
and was disappointed on coming down to find she had had her
trouble for nothing.

If Sir Moses had been a married man instead of a widower, without
incumbrance as the saying is, fine Billy would have been more
likely to have heard the truth respecting him, than he was as
matters stood. As it was, the ladies had always run Sir Moses up,
and did not depart from that course on the present occasion. Mrs.
Yammerton, indeed, always said that he looked a great deal older
than he really was, and had no objection to his being talked of
for one of her daughters, and as courtships generally go by
contraries, the fair lady of the glove with her light sunny hair,
and lambent blue eyes, rather admired Sir Moses’ hook-nose and
clear olive complexion than otherwise. His jewelry, too, had
always delighted her, for he had a stock equal to that of any
retired pawnbroker. So they impressed Billy very favourably with
the Baronet’s pretensions, far more favourably the reader may be
sure than the Recorder did the Barons of the Court of Exchequer.