Chapter I: Front Matter

[** Transcriber's Note:
The [oe] ligature has been replaced with simply "oe".
The cross symbols have been replaced by [cross].
Greek words have been transliterated, and enclosed in square
brackets, e.g. [Greek: kala reethra]
In the original, the Signs of the Zodiac song on page 397 contains
astrological symbols after each mention of the signs of the
zodiac. The symbols have been omitted in this text version. ]

BENTLEY'S
MISCELLANY

VOL. I.

LONDON:
RICHARD BENTLEY,
NEW BURLINGTON STREET.
1837.

LONDON:
PRINTED BY SAMUEL BENTLEY,
Dormet Street, Fleet Street.

EDITOR'S ADDRESS
ON THE COMPLETION OF THE
FIRST VOLUME.

At the end of a theatrical season it is customary for the manager to step forward, and, in as few words as may be, to say how very much obliged he feels for all past favours, and how very ready he is to incur fresh obligations.

With a degree of candour which few managers would display, we cheerfully confess that we have been fairly inundated with _orders_ during our six months' campaign; but so liberal are we, notwithstanding, that we place many of the very first authors of the day on our free list, and invite them to write for our establishment just as much paper as they think proper.

We have produced a great variety of novelties, some of which we humbly hope may become stock pieces, and all of which we may venture to say have been must successful; and, although we are not subject to the control of a licenser, we have eschewed everything political, personal, or ill-natured, with perhaps as much care as we could possibly have shown, even had we been under the watchful eye of the Lord Chamberlain himself.

We shall open our Second Volume, ladies and gentlemen, on the first day of July, One thousand eight hundred and thirty-seven, when we shall have the pleasure of submitting a great variety of entirely new pieces for your judgment and approval. The company will be numerous, first-rate, and complete. The scenery will continue to be supplied by the creative pencil of Mr. George Cruikshank; the whole of the extensive and beautiful machinery will be, as heretofore, under the immediate superintendence of Mr. Samuel Bentley, of Dorset-street, Fleet-street; and Mr. Richard Bentley, of New Burlington-street, has kindly consented to preside over the Treasury department, where he has already conducted himself with uncommon ability.

The stage management will again be confided, ladies and gentlemen, to the humble individual with the short name, who has now the honour to address you, and who hopes, for very many years to come, to appear before you in the same capacity. Permit him to add in sober seriousness, that it has been the constant and unremitting endeavour of himself and the proprietor to render this undertaking worthy of your patronage. That they have not altogether failed in their attempt, its splendid success sufficiently demonstrates; that they have no intention of relaxing in their efforts, its future Volumes we trust will abundantly testify.

"BOZ."
_London,_
_June, 1837._

CONTENTS
OF THE FIRST VOLUME.
Page

Songs of the Month--January, by "Father Prout;" 1
February, by Dr. Maginn; 105
March, by Samuel Lover; 325
April, by W. H. Ainsworth; 429
May and June, by J. A. Wade 533

Prologue, by Dr. Maginn 2
Opening Chaunt 6
Recollections of the late George Colman, by Theodore Hook 7
The "Monstre" Balloon 17
Handy Andy, by Samuel Lover 20,169,373
Legend of Manor Hall, by the Author of "Headlong Hall" 29
Terence O'Shaughnessy, by the Author of "Stories of Waterloo" 33
The Sabine Farmer's Serenade, by Father Prout 45
Public Life of Mr. Tulrumble, by Boz 49
The Hot Wells of Clifton, by Father Prout 63
The Marine Ghost, by the Author of "Rattlin the Reefer" 65
Old Age and Youth, by T. Haynes Bayly 79
An Evening of Visits, by the Author of "The Pilot" 80
Who are you?--Metastasio, Fontenelle, and Samuel Lover 88
Metropolitan Men of Science 89
Kyan's Patent--the Nine Muses and the Dry-rot 93
The Original of "Not a Drum was heard," by Father Prout 96
A Gossip with some old English Poets, by C. Ollier 98
The Rising Periodical; Mr. Verdant's Account of the last
aërial ascent, by T. Haynes Bayly 101
An Italian Anecdote, by the Author of "Hajji Baba" 103
Oliver Twist, or the Parish Boy's Progress, by Boz 105,218,326,430
Richie Barter 116
Plunder Creek, by the Author of "Tales of an Antiquary" 121
The Spectre 131
Authors and Actors, a dramatic sketch 132
A Gossip with Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, by Hamilton Reynolds 138
A Lament over the Bannister 151
Theatrical Advertisement Extraordinary 152
The Abbess and Duchess, by T. Haynes Bayly 153
Edward Saville, by C. Whitehead 155
A Fragment of Romance 165
Lines on John Bannister, by Sir George Rose 168
Lines to a Lyric and Artist 177
Biographical Sketch of Richardson, by W. Jerdan 178
Paddy Blake's Echo, by J. A. Wade 186
Recollections of Childhood, by the author of "Headlong Hall" 187
Epigrams 190,409,493,508
540,564,583,590
Family Stories, by Thomas Ingoldsby:
No. I. Spectre of Tappington 191
II. Legend of Hamilton Tighe 266
III. Grey Dolphin 341
IV. The Squire's Story 529
V. The Execution, a Sporting Anecdote 561
The Wide-awake Club 208
A Remnant of the Time of Izaak Walton 230
The "Original" Dragon, by C. J. Davids 231
A Passage in the Life of Beaumarchais, by George Hogarth 233
Mars and Venus, by C. F. Le Gros 247
An Evening Meditation 250
The Devil and Johnny Dixon,
by the Author of "Stories of Waterloo" 251
A Merry Christmas, by T. Haynes Bayly 260
Nights at Sea, by the Old Sailor:
No. I. The Captain's Cabin 269
II. The White Squall 474
III. The Chase and the Forecastle Yarn 621
Remains of Hajji Baba, by the Author of "Zohrab" 280,364,487
The Portrait Gallery, by the Author of "The Bee Hive" 286,442
The Sorrows of Life 290
Stray Chapters, by Boz:
No. I. The Pantomime of Life 291
II. Particulars concerning a Lion 515
Memoirs of Samuel Foote 298
The Two Butlers of Kilkenny 306
The Little Bit of Tape, by Richard Johns 313
Hippothanasia, or the last of Tails,
a lamentable Tale, by W. Jerdan 319
The Grand Cham of Tartary, by C. J. Davids 339
The Dumb Waiter 340
Friar Laurence and Juliet, by T. Haynes Bayly 354
Unpublished Letters of Addison 356
Sonnet to a Fog, by Egerton Webbe 371
Biography of Aunt Jemima, by F. H. Rankin 382
Scenes in the Life of a Gambler, by Captain Medwin 387
Les Poissons d'Avril; a Gastronomical Chaunt, by Father Prout 397
The Anatomy of Courage, by Prince Puckler Muskau 398
Song of the Cover 402
The Cobbler of Dort 403
Hero and Leander, by T. Chapman 410
The Admirable Crichton 416
Memoirs of Sheridan 419
Summer Night's Reverie, by J. A. Wade 428
Peter Plumbago's Correspondence 448
The Blue Wonder 450
The Youth's Vade Mecum, by C. Whitehead 461
A Visit to the Madrigal Society 465
Love and Poverty 469
Reflections in a Horse-pond 470
Inscription for a Cemetery 473
The Useful Young Man, by W. Collier 485
A London Fog 492
Shakspeare Papers, by Dr. Maginn:
No. I. Sir John Falstaff 495
II. Jaques 550
Steam Trip to Hamburgh 509
Legend of Bohis Head 519
Bob Burns and Beranger; Sam Lover and Ovidius Naso;
by "Father Prout" 525
Periodical Literature of the North American Indians 534
An Epitaph 540
Darby the Swift, by J. A. Wade 541
The Romance of a Day, by "The Bashful Irishman" 565
The Man with the Tuft, by T. Haynes Bayly 576
The Minister's Fate; from "Recollections of H. T." 577
Love in the City, by the Author of "Stories of Waterloo" 584
Mrs. Jennings 591
Hints for an Historical Play, by Thomas Ingoldsby 597
John Pooledoune, the Victim of Improvements, by W. Jerdan 599
The Legend of Mount Pilate, by G. Dance 608
Glorvina, the Maid of Meath, by J. Sheridan Knowles 614
Ode upon the Birth-day of the Princess Victoria, by J. A. Wade 620

ILLUSTRATIONS.

Portrait of George Colman _Frontispiece_
Handy Andy, No. I. by S. Lover Page 20
Procession at the Inauguration of Mr. Tulrumble
as Mayor of Mudfog, by George Cruikshank 49
Who are you? by S. Lover 88
Oliver Twist, by George Cruikshank 105
Handy Andy, No. II. by S. Lover 169
Spectre of Tappington, by Buss 191
Oliver Twist, No. II. by George Cruikshank 218
Portrait of Samuel Foote, by Sir Joshua Reynolds 298
The Little Bit of Tape, by Phiz 313
Oliver Twist, No. III. by George Cruikshank 326
Portrait of Richard Brinsley Sheridan, by Ozias Humphreys 419
Oliver Twist, No. IV. by George Cruikshank 430
Nights at Sea, by George Cruikshank 474
The Romance of a Day, by George Cruikshank 565
Nights at Sea, by George Cruikshank 621

BENTLEY'S MISCELLANY.

OUR SONG OF THE MONTH.
No. I. January, 1837.

THE BOTTLE OF ST. JANUARIUS.

I.
In the land of the citron and myrtle, we're told
That the blood of a MARTYR is kept in a phial,
Which, though all the year round, it lie torpid and cold,
Yet grasp but the crystal, 'twill _warm_ the first trial ...
Be it fiction or truth, with your favourite FACT,
O, profound LAZZARONI! I seek not to quarrel;
But indulge an old priest who would simply extract
From your legend, a lay--from your martyr, a moral.

II.
Lo! with icicled beard JANUARIUS comes!
And the blood in his veins is all frozen and gelid,
And he beareth a bottle; but TORPOR benumbs
Every limb of the saint:--Would ye wish to dispel it?
With the hand of good-fellowship grasp the hoar sage--
Soon his joints will relax and his pulse will beat quicker;
Grasp the _bottle_ he brings--'twill grow warm. I'll engage,
Till the frost of each heart lies dissolved in the LIQUOR!

_Probatum est._ P. PROUT.

WATER-GRASS-HILL, _Kal. Januarii_.