Chapter I: Fished and Fished and Fished 237 (2)

'To cut a long story short, I soon realised that here was the object I was in search of, and that if this dreamy creature did not sufficiently astonish old De Trevor, and compel him to consent to my marrying his daughter, nothing on this earth would do the deed, so I resolved to leave the island with my treasure as soon as I could make it possible to do so. I set about making a raft, which I quickly succeeded in completing, having since my childhood had a great knack at the making of rafts, and, without undue delay, I embarked with my prize, provisioned with as many shell-fish and branches of the succulent sea-weed as the raft would carry.

'After some few months, and just as we had finished our last limpet, we had the good fortune to be picked up by a tramp-steamer, bound for Saskatchewan from Mombasa, with a cargo of periwinkles. The captain was such a kind-hearted man that, on hearing my story he decided to go out of his course, and land us at Cherry Garden Pier; and so, my good friends, after sixty years' sailing all over the globe, I arrived home again, a poorer but a kinder man.

'You may be sure that I lost no time in seeking out Jane herself, with every hope of at last being able to claim her hand, but alas! gentlemen,' said the Ancient Mariner, with a large, salt tear about to fall from each eye, and as he once more tenderly lifted his burden, 'I was to find that Jane had become a very, very old woman, with many little grandchildren of her own, and that she had entirely forgotten my existence. She had me turned away from her doorstep as a raving madman, even with my interesting, absent-minded, and inseparable companion.

'Thus, Good Sirs, I have to start life anew, and if my great experience should be of any service to you, believe me, it is yours to command.'

* * * * *

THE TRIPLETS

Right gladly were the services of the plucky old salt accepted by the gallant little band, and taking it in turns to relieve him of his burden, they jovially marched along. The way was enlivened by many a good chorus, until the old King complained of a headache, when every one had to be quiet and talk only in quite a low tone, while Boadicea soothed the old fidget, and lulled him to sleep, by removing his crown and gently stroking the top of his head with a mint leaf, rolled into a little ball, and fastened to the end of a stem of sweet-briar. He awakened shortly after tea, very much refreshed for his nap, and every one grew merry again.

He now, however, considerably delayed the progress of the expedition by insisting on running after butterflies, and trying to catch them in his crown. Though anxious enough to continue their journey, all the army awaited with great patience the pleasure of the old sportsman. At length Knut, who had been eagerly watching the King for some time, as he frisked about the fields after the brightly-coloured insects, could not restrain himself from doing likewise. Now Hannibal joined in the sport, then Quentin, then Noah, then Ratchett, and, so exciting did the chase become, soon all the force were frantically running about the fields with the lively monarch, while Boadicea remained by the carriage and darned his old stockings.

At last the King grew tired, and they all came back to the road and resumed their march. The tiresome sovereign now insisted on the Ancient Mariner removing his burden to the rear, complaining that the absent-minded creature would stare at him, and that he did not wish to be gazed at or wondered at. 'Time enough for that,' said he, 'when I'm on my throne again.' Having effected this change in the order of the procession, they now marched on without further interruption from the King.

Towards nightfall they drew near to the sea, on the shores of which they hoped to spend the night. Bill being, as usual, a little in advance of the others, was the first to descend to the sands, seated on which he discovered, to his great astonishment, three young children weeping bitterly, and near to them, in the same state of grief, he beheld an old gentleman seated upon a rock. But what aroused his astonishment even more than their extreme wretchedness, was the fact that the three children were all exactly alike in every particular,--the same size, the same hair, the same eyes,--in fact, there was no perceptible difference of any kind between them. Now and again, one of the children would endeavour to comfort the old man, and he again would attempt to perform the like kindly office for them. Wondering what could so upset such worthy creatures, Bill approached and besought them to confide to him their troubles, that he might try to relieve them to the best of his ability. Their tears, however, effectually prevented them from replying at once to him. Giving them a little time to recover, Bill again addressed them. 'Who are you?' said he, and they all answered between their sobs, 'We are the Duchess of Blowdripping and her two sisters, Mellinid and Edil.'

'Which of you,' asked Bill, 'is the Duchess?'

'That's what we don't know,' they replied. 'We only know that she is neither Mellinid nor Edil.'

'Then who of you is Mellinid, and who Edil?' again queried the puzzled Bill.

'That's what all the trouble's about,' they tearfully rejoined. 'All we can tell you for certain is that neither of them is the Duchess,' and the poor little creatures redoubled their cries.

More puzzled than ever, and quite at a loss to find any clue to their troubles, Bill again besought them to relieve their minds by confiding in him. Then one of the little creatures stood up and, after drying her eyes, addressed Bill in the following way:--

'As you have most likely guessed, we are triplets, and were christened Blaura, Mellinid and Edil, after three great-aunts renowned for their intelligence and their many virtues. From our earliest days we were so much alike that each had to wear a different coloured hair-ribbon to distinguish her from her sisters. Blaura wore red, Mellinid blue, and Edil green. Our affectionate parents, the late Duke and Duchess of Blowdripping, died when we were barely six months old, and we were all left in charge of our uncle, the benevolent gentleman you see weeping on my left. Before the thoughtful creatures expired, feeling that their end was drawing near, they were faced with the difficult problem as to which of us should be the new Duchess; all of us, as I have said before, being of the same age. Of course, I need not tell you that it was quite out of the question we should all inherit the title; three young ladies trying to be one duchess would be absurd in the extreme. So our intelligent and resourceful mother and father decided, after much deliberation with the family solicitor, and the vicar of the parish, that Blaura should succeed to the title and all the dignities of the Duchy of Blowdripping when she arrived at the age of eight years, and that, at the same time, Mellinid should become the owner of Blowdripping Hall, with its priceless collections of pictures, old china, fossils and foreign stamps, and Edil become the possessor of the Blowdripping Park, in which the Hall is so pleasantly situated, with its herds of hedgehogs, elands and gnu. I am sure you will agree with me that no more just division of their great possessions could have been devised by the fair-minded couple. Our uncle was kindness itself, ever watching us with the affectionate care of a mother. He was always at hand to look to our comforts, and to see that no danger drew nigh, whether we were bathing in the marble fountains of the courtyard, taking the air in the park, or sleeping in our tastefully-decorated bedroom.

'One beautiful summer's afternoon, when we were about one year old, we had been taken on to the verandah to enjoy our afternoon nap, in order that we might have advantage of the delightful breeze that blew across the woods from the sea. As usual our uncle was near by, and so soothing was the air that, unable to resist its drowsy influence, he, too, soon dozed off. Unfortunately we awakened before our unconscious nurse, and immediately rolled out of our cradles, and crawled along the pavement of the verandah. Great sport we had, I have no doubt, as children will, and certain it is that, attracted by their brilliant colours, we lost no time in removing from each other's heads our distinguishing ribbons, and speedily mixing them up. However, at length, and too late, our baby laughter awakened the old gentleman from his sleep. Too great for words was the astonishment of the unhappy man when he beheld us all shuffled up and mixed in this deplorable way upon the pavement. Bitterly he accused himself of wicked negligence for allowing such a thing to happen, for so alike were we without our distinguishing ribbons, that he could never hope to know one from the other again. He thought, and thought, and thought for the whole afternoon, but at the end he was no nearer discovering again which was the future Duchess, which Mellinid, and which Edil. At last, he gave it up in despair. Henceforth we were known only collectively as the future Duchess and her two sisters, but which is the Duchess, and which the two sisters, will remain for ever a mystery.

'Nevertheless, we grew up in comparative happiness until yesterday, the fateful day when we all became eight years of age. Before breakfast, and with all due solemnity, our faithful uncle handed over to us the control and guardianship of the Blowdripping possessions, which had been entrusted to him until we should arrive at our present age, but, alas! we could not avail ourselves of the good provision made for us by our thoughtful parents, as neither one of us knew which of us we were. The Duchess, as head of the family, could not give her consent to anything, or advance any money for the housekeeping as, for all she knew, she might be one of her own sisters, in which case she would have been touching that which did not rightly belong to her. For the same reason Mellinid, not knowing who she herself was, could not give her consent to our remaining at the Hall, and likewise Edil could not allow the magnificent house still to occupy its lovely situation in the Blowdripping Park. After talking the matter over, and over again, we have come to the conclusion that, without the permission of the proper owners, which, you will see, it is impossible for us to obtain, the only course open to us was to abandon our riches, and to leave the park and the castle for ever. Our good uncle, putting all the blame for our troubles upon his own negligence, insisted on accompanying us.'

At the conclusion of this strange story Bill was certainly aghast at the very difficult problem put before him, and quite at a loss to offer any solution. He therefore conducted the trembling triplets and their grief-stricken uncle before the King, who had in the meantime arrived upon the shore. Bill explained the difficult position in which the poor young things found themselves; but, wise as he undoubtedly was, the King for some time could make nothing whatever of it. He called all his officers and soldiers round him, and they formed one great semicircle, of which he was the centre; the triplets were then placed before him, and he at once proceeded to question them.

'Have you,' said he, addressing the first triplet, 'any idea as to which of the three of you you really are?'

'None whatever,' answered the child.

He then repeated the same question to the other triplets, and received the same answer.

'Come now,' continued the King, in a cheerful voice, 'does any one of you feel at all like a duchess?'

'We don't know how a duchess should feel,' they all replied.

The King here frowned severely and ground his teeth.

'Now, one of you must be telling an untruth,' said he, 'for one of you, as you say, is the Duchess, and must know exactly how she feels, which must be how a duchess feels. Come now, which of you is she?' And the quick-tempered monarch knit his brows into the most terrible folds. 'Unless that one is one of her own sisters and not the Duchess,' he roared, 'she ought to be ashamed of her deceit, and severely punished; and if, indeed, she is not the Duchess, then she ought to be punished all the same. I've half a mind to have the three of you smacked hard, that I may at least be certain of punishing the right one.'

Bill suggested timidly that perhaps this would be rather unfair, as two of them at least would be unjustly punished.

'But which two?' snapped the irritated King. 'How can any of them feel unjustly treated if she doesn't know whether she's the guilty one or not?' And he worked himself into a terrible fury, and strode up and down the sands, no one daring to approach him. Suddenly, without any warning of his intention, he ran down to the sea, and removing his shoes and stockings, cooled his temper by paddling his feet in the sea-water. In a little time he returned, his excitement much allayed, and soon the cries of the distracted and unhappy triplets, together with the pitiful sighs of the dejected uncle, entirely assuaged the wrath of the sympathetic, though quick-tempered, old man.

When he once more resumed his place before the three children the storm had passed, and a sweet, good-natured smile enlivened his homely old face, and charmed all beholders.

'Well, well, well,' said he, 'triplets will be triplets after all, and uncles uncles, all the world over.'

He at once resumed the inquiry, and placing his hand kindly on the head of the second triplet he now addressed the first in the following way:--

'Let us suppose for the moment that you happen to know which of your sisters this particular one really is, who, in that case, would the third one be, if she (the third) were not Mellinid?'

'Either Edil or the Duchess,' promptly replied the intelligent child.

'Quite right,' said the King encouragingly, 'Now as this is not so, and you certainly do not know which of your sisters this one happens to be, the reverse must be true, so that if your other sister is neither Edil nor the Duchess, who must she be?'

'Mellinid, of course,' readily answered the child, and every one applauded and wondered at the wisdom of the King.

'It only now remains,' proceeded the King, addressing the first and second triplets 'to discover which of you is Edil and which the Duchess.' Placing his hand once more upon the head of the second triplet, he again addressed the first.

'Suppose, for the sake of argument, that this sister of yours whom we now know not to be Mellinid were Mellinid and Mellinid the Duchess, in that case you would assuredly be Edil. Now as you cannot suppose this sister to be Mellinid when you know she is not, and the Duchess is the Duchess and not Mellinid, then our supposition must be wrong and the reverse true, so that Mellinid remains Mellinid and, as we say you are not Edil, then this little girl must be she.' Then shaking the first triplet by the hand, the complacent old potentate said in conclusion:--'And you, my dear creature, are thus proved to be neither Edil nor Mellinid but Blaura, the charming Duchess of Blowdripping, to whom I offer my hearty congratulations.' The cheerful soul now embraced the three children, and when he had a hand free he slapped the old uncle, who now looked the very picture of happiness, several times upon the back.

Cheers were raised again and again at the unheard-of wisdom of the King of Troy. The old uncle completely exhausted himself by leaping high into the air over and over again, while the triplets were beyond themselves with joy at such a successful end to their troubles.

So delighted were the triplets with their new friends that, during breakfast the next morning, they announced their intention of accompanying them to their journey's end, and entrusted the care of the Blowdripping estate to their old uncle until they should return. The camp packed up and when every one was ready to continue the journey, they all took an affectionate leave of the old man and marched on.

* * * * *

GOOD AUNT GALLADIA

At first the King seemed disposed to be not a little irritable towards the triplets, murmuring something to himself about the extra expense. A good lunch, however, soon put him to rights, and he was his old cheerful self again.

In the afternoon they met upon the road a long thin man with a grin of the greatest self-satisfaction widening his otherwise narrow face. In one hand he carried a cage containing a miserable old bird that could hardly boast an egg-cupful of feathers on its whole shrivelled body; in the other he carried a large wooden box. He very good-naturedly stood aside for the army to move on, but the King, whose curiosity had been aroused, would not allow him to be passed unquestioned, so he rang a little bell he always carried with him for the purpose, and the whole force at once stopped short. In obedience to a signal from the King, the long man stepped jauntily before him. 'Anything wrong, old chirpy?' said he, addressing the King rather rudely as some thought. 'Not with me,' the King replied with much dignity. 'My only reason for calling you before me is to learn why you are so extremely pleased with yourself. Such a secret would be of the greatest value to us all.' 'Because she's given these back to me,' answered the long fellow as he opened his box and disclosed, all neatly arranged, a beautiful collection of birds' eggs. Every kind appeared to be there, and all of the most beautiful colours imaginable.

'But who is she?' queried the King.

'Why, my good Aunt Galladia, of course, but it's too long a story to tell standing up, so let us sit down by the roadside, and you shall hear all about it.'

Every one now seated themselves on the grass by the side of the road and over a comforting cup of tea, speedily brewed by Boadicea, the long man began his story:--

'My good aunt's full name was Galladia Glowmutton, and she was the only daughter of that gallant general, Sir Francis Melville Glowmutton, who distinguished himself so greatly in the defence of his country.

'It was my good fortune to spend my earliest days in this good creature's company, she, noble soul that she was, having undertaken to look after me when my poor father and mother disappeared in a sand-storm many years before.

'The greater part of her life this good woman had devoted to brightening the declining years of her well-loved father, whose arduous life, poor man, had left him in his old age, truth to tell, rather a tiresome, and sometimes a difficult, subject to get on with. However, thanks to her devotion and patience, he led a tolerably happy life. In the course of time the old warrior died and left the sorrowing lady well provided for,--that is, over and beyond necessaries, with sufficient money to keep up appearances, and even enough for her simple pleasures and hobbies.

'For some months my good aunt could not fill the blank in her life left by the loss of her father. So much kindness, however, could not be kept back for long, and was bound in the course of time to find its object. Always with a love for every feathered creature, she at last set about gathering around her as complete a collection of them as she could obtain. Soon she had in her aviaries the most marvellous assembly of birds ever brought together even at the Zoo. There were specimens of the Paraguay gull, Borneo parrots, Australian gheck ghees, the laughing grete, Malay anchovy wren that only feeds upon anchovies (and very amusing indeed it is, too, to watch them spearing the little fish with their beaks and then trying to shake them off again), and the golden-crested mussel hawk, that swoops down from an incredible height and, snatching its prey from the rocks, again disappears in the sky. Without wearying you with a long list, nearly every known bird was represented in my aunt's collection, from the fierce saw-beaked stork of Tuscaroca to the mild and pretty little Gossawary chick.

'Much as she prized every one of her pets, she loved most of all the very rare and beautiful green-toed button crane of Baraboo. So fond was she of the stately creature, and so careful of its every comfort, that she employed a maid to wait on it alone, and a special cook to prepare its meal of Peruvian yap beans, the delicious and tender kernels of which the dainty creature was inordinately fond of,--and, indeed, they were the only food upon which it throve.

'Now, with your permission, a few words about myself. Like my aunt I, too, had birdish leanings, but unlike her in this, that instead of birds I collected birds' eggs, of which I had a vast number of every conceivable variety. Ashamed as I am to state it, little did my good Aunt Galladia know how many of the valuable specimens in my collection were taken from her aviaries. Nevertheless she viewed my specimens with growing suspicion, until at last she implicitly forbade me to collect any more. For a time I desisted, and merely contented myself with gloating over my already vast collection, but in a little while temptation became too strong for me and I resumed my pursuits.

'One afternoon about this time I had mounted a tall tree in the Glowmutton Park, intent on obtaining the contents of a nest built in its highest branches. For some time I was unable to approach the nest, but at length, by dint of much perseverance, I just managed to reach my hand over the top, and took therefrom three beautiful eggs, of a kind as yet unrepresented in my collection. So occupied was I with my prize, that I did not at first observe what was taking place beneath the tree. But on beginning to descend, I saw to my horror immediately below me, my Aunt Galladia and her pet crane seated at tea, with the crane's maid in attendance.

'Needless to say I did not continue my descent, but climbed out to the end of a branch, high over the group. I waited in dreadful suspense in the hope that my aunt would not look up, and that they would soon finish their meal and depart as quickly as they had arrived, but, alas! they were in no hurry. I trembled now so much that I could hear the leaves rustling on the branch, and whether it was that in my fear I loosened my hold, or that the branch shook so under my trembling form, or whether the sight of a beautiful plum cake, directly over which I was poised, made me lose my nerve, I know not, but certain it is that I fell from my position right on to the table. Both my aunt and the maid fainted at once quite away, and the timid green-toed button crane of Baraboo was in such a terrible flutter that in its excitement it snapped the slender gold chain that held it and flew into the sky, where it was soon lost to view. "Now I've done it," thought I, and, no doubt, should have run away had I been able to move, but I was so bruised that I was compelled to remain among the shattered remains of the table and tea things. Presently the maid came to, and then my aunt, and nothing could exceed her rage and grief at losing her valuable pet. They took me home between them and put me to bed, and the severest punishment they could devise was to take away from me my lovely collection of eggs. "Never," shrieked my wrathful aunt, "shall you have these again until you bring back to me my beautiful crane."

'After a while I recovered, but no one dared to speak to me, and I moped about the house in solitary wretchedness without a single egg to contemplate.

'At last I could bear it no longer, and one night I left the house determined never to return again without the crane. I took with me an old perambulator, in which I had been wheeled about as a child, and in this I placed six of the delicious kernels of the Peruvian yap bean, besides a hatchet and other things which I thought might be useful on my journey. I slept in the forest and, on the following morning I cut down the straightest tree I could find for my purpose, trimmed it to a fine long pole, and on the very top of this I fastened a pin, bent to the form of a fish-hook, which I now baited with one of the yap kernels.

'"If anything will attract the bird, this will," thought I, having fastened the foot of the pole to my perambulator. I now proceeded to angle the air for the lost crane. Carefully following the direction I had observed the bird to take when it broke away from its chain, I travelled for weeks and weeks, without seeing any sign of it. In time, without even a nibble, the first kernel was dissolved and worn away by the wind and rain, and, in like manner the same fate overcame the second, with which I baited my hook; then the third, then the fourth, and then the fifth.

'Still keeping the same direction, by this time I had arrived at the very edge of the world, beyond which there is nothing but sea and sky. Believing that the poor creature had flown out over this lonely sea, and hoping that it might return when it realised that there was no land beyond, I determined to wait on the desolate shore.

'I now erected my pole on the sands, after once more baiting my hook, this time with a piece of my last kernel, having taken the precaution of cutting it into six pieces. I now waited patiently, week after week, subsisting on the oysters, the starfish, and the edible crustaceans, that wandered tamely about the shore. Months now passed by, and, one by one, the five pieces of my last yap kernel had followed the other five kernels with which I had set out from home. I am not easily beaten, however, and though many months had passed by without my meeting with any success, I would not give in, but husbanded my last piece of bait with the greatest care. I cut a chip of wood from my angling pole, and shaped it in the form of a kernel of the Peruvian yap bean. This I rubbed well all over with the tiny piece of the real kernel that yet remained to me, until it assumed somewhat the colour of the original bean and, certainly, when applied to the tip of the tongue, it appeared to partake, though very slightly, it is true, of the original flavour, and with this I once more baited my hook.

'By this means I made my last piece of bean last for some years, for as soon as the artificial bean had lost its flavour, I rubbed it up again with the real one. But even this could not go on for ever, and, at last, the true piece was worn right away; so, to preserve what little flavour there yet remained of the true bean in the false bean, on which it had been so often rubbed, I soaked it for six days in a large shell of rain-water. In the meantime I cut another chip from my pole, and spent nearly six days in carving out another artificial kernel. Before baiting my hook with this, I dipped it into the fluid in which the old wooden kernel was still soaking, whence it received a very very faint suggestion of the original flavour, but so faint was this that it had to be redipped three times a day. This went on for some time, until the precious liquor began to run low, and I was compelled to dilute it still further, in the proportion of about five drops to a mussel-shellful of water, into which the wooden kernel was now dipped ten or twelve times a day.

'Well, I had been at this game, I should say, getting on for twenty years, and now resolved to have done with it, after risking all on one throw. So I dropped my wooden kernel, all rotted and weather-beaten as it was, into what little there remained over of the pure liquor, this time without diluting it at all, and then let it stew all day in the sun.

'In the evening the liquor was all evaporated, and the wooden bean seemed to the taste as though it possibly might have been in the vicinity of a real one some time before. On that evening, for the last time, I baited my hook and slept soundly at the foot of the pole.

'I was awakened next morning by the wind that had arisen during the night, and a great wrenching noise, as it tore my poor old angling-pole from its place in the sand, and carried it out to sea.

'"That settles it once and for all," thought I, much relieved, "and I'm off home," and I set about getting my things together. While I was thus engaged, it occurred to me that the old pole might be useful for fires, so I swam out for it. Already it had been blown some way out to sea, and, as the tide was against me, it was only with a very great exertion of strength that I gained at all upon it, and I was just about to give it up when I beheld, fastened to the bent pin at the end of the pole, the wretched crane. The sight lent me greater strength, and, after incredible exertions, I reached the pole almost exhausted. We were now too far from the shore to attempt to return, so I got astride the pole, and immediately proceeded to unfasten the unhappy fowl from my bent pin. At first I thought the poor thing dead, but I nursed it in my arms all through the ensuing night, and, on the following morning, happening to glance down its half-opened beak, I could just see that my wooden imitation of the kernel of the Peruvian yap bean had become lodged in its throat. This I at once removed, and, to my great joy, the dejected fowl almost immediately opened its eyes. Soon it became its old stately self again, though now I could see that the poor thing had aged very considerably since it left home.

'Well, to cut a long story short, at length the gale ceased, and we landed safely on the shore, much nearer to our home, and, after many vicissitudes and adventures, of which I shall have great pleasure in telling you at another time, we eventually arrived at Glowmutton Castle.

'To my grief I learnt that my good aunt, Galladia, had died many years before of old age, and that, true to her own good-nature, her last commands were that if ever I should return with her dearly-loved fowl, my collection of eggs was to be handed back to me, and in recompense for all my privations and exertions to recover the bird, I was to have the care of it and the comfort of its society as long as it lived. So, now you see why I am so pleased with myself.'

The King and the whole army were charmed with the recital, and the long man, whose many noble qualities had already endeared him to them, was cordially invited to join the forces.

'It's all one to me, my cronies,' said the good-natured creature, and they all trudged on.

* * * * *

THE DOCTOR

For many days they had now travelled without meeting with any adventure, when one evening they saw coming towards them a bright young lad, who was leading by the hand an exceedingly learned-looking old gentleman. Their appearance was such as to arouse the King's curiosity to such a degree that he asked the boy the time as he was passing, and then, when all stood still in the road, he led the talk from one thing to another until at last, emboldened by their friendliness, the King came to the point, and asked the lad who he was and whence he had come.

The two strangers then sat down at the side of the road, and the lad thus addressed the King:--

'You may not believe it, but I am the original Ptolemy Jenkinson, the only and well-beloved nephew of that great and celebrated doctor, Ebenezer Scrout, whom you now see at my side. When, a trembling orphan, I was thrown upon an unfeeling world, he alone of my numerous uncles, aunts, so-called friends and guardians, undertook to find me a comfortable and even luxurious home, and so to educate me that I might prove worthy of occupying the exalted position for which I am destined.

'Uncle Ebenezer was my mother's brother and, a true Scrout, he inherited all his good qualities from my grandfather, Phelim Scrout, the well-known turfcutter, from whom, by the way, I inherit most of mine--but of these it does not become me to speak.

'Many people, jealous perhaps of his great fame, have ridiculed my uncle's claim to be a member of this ancient family, but to set this matter for ever at rest, I have here copied a few notes from the Scroutean genealogical tree, preserved in the archives of the family.' Ptolemy Jenkinson here took from his pocket and handed to Bill a sheet of paper upon which the following notes were written in a clear bold hand:--

MISTS OF THE PAST

PHELIM SCROUT = MOLLY?
(The well-known turfcutter) |
|
----------------------------------
| |
TOD SCROUT = MANDY M'GUIRE PEARL (died of
| megrims at an
| early age)
|
------------------------------------------------------
| | | | | |
LU EBENEZER MANDY CASSANDRA = WAT LIL
TOM JENKINSON
|
PTOLEMY

When these had been examined by the company, Ptolemy resumed his tale:--

'Uncle Eb, as I very soon learned to call him, was ever the victim of his own generous heart. Continually adopting people, both old and young, he was doomed to be taken advantage of by those to whom he was most kind. How well can I remember, amongst many another ungrateful adopted son, uncle, aunt or cousin, young Sigurd, the birthday-monger, who entered the family about the same time as myself. It was he who secretly wrote his name on each page of Uncle Eb's birthday-book and received a present every day from the absent-minded old gentleman until he was discovered writing his name twice on some pages and was straightway disadopted.

'Not alone to his own family circle was the doctor's kindness confined; it extended to all with whom he came in contact. Before sending in his bills he always provided his patients with enough money to pay them, and promptly returned the cash with the receipts, deducting only one penny for the stamp in each case.

'Invariably most sympathetic with his suffering patients, he spent many years of his noble life in studying how to make his medicines as pleasant and sweet to the taste as the most delightful confections ever placed upon the Lord Mayor's table, while his greatest endeavour was always to make a period of sickness one also of pleasurable relaxation for his patients.

'In time the children went mad with excitement, and jumped for very joy on learning that they had contracted measles, and would far sooner, any day, have the mumps than a birthday every week. And oh! what thrills of joy would pass through their little frames on learning that they would have to lie up for a bilious attack and be attended by the good-natured Doctor Ebenezer Scrout, and treated with his delicious jalaps and powders.

'Unfortunately, however, so pleasant was the treatment, that the children in time were even tempted to make themselves ill on purpose, by eating as many jam puffs as they could buy with their Saturday monies, and soon nearly every child was down with a bad bilious attack, and all the schools had to be closed.

'Even the grown-ups began to indulge in these jam puffs, buying them in large quantities and falling ill one by one, much preferring to be tucked up snugly in bed with a comfortable bilious attack and the good-natured doctor in attendance, to ordinary good health and hard work, with the many disappointments and trials of everyday life.

'First the Lord Mayor was taken bad--then the leader of the town band and all his bandsmen. Now the shopmen began to feel queer, and one by one the aldermen toddled to their beds. In time everybody was laid up, and no one was left to do the work of the town. All the shops, theatres, markets, and railway stations were closed, and the streets quite deserted except for the doctor and the puff baker, each trying to undo the work of the other.

'Hardly a sound could be heard in the streets except perhaps the clink of a spoon against a bottle from a room above, as some patient prepared his evening dose, or the shuffling footsteps of the old doctor as he went his daily round, and sometimes the loud rat-tat of the puff baker would awaken the echoes of the lonely streets as he called from door to door for orders in the morning.

'Strange grasses and sweet-scented wild flowers began to grow in the streets, and mushrooms and straggling carrots forced a way between the crevices of the pavements. Sprays of wild spinach hung from the lamp-posts, and the market-place became one waving jungle of broccoli. The very sparrows, deprived of their daily crumbs, grew thin and nervy with the green diet they were compelled to subsist upon. Croaking and griding, instead of chirruping musically to their young as is their wont, they so affected the good-hearted doctor that he could never pass them without some cheering word, and never could he withstand the beseeching look in their eyes. Within doors the prospect was hardly more encouraging. Strong vegetable-marrows twined their branches and their many tendrils round the table legs and the chairs; great turnips stoutened and burst upon the stairs; spring onions bristled in the corners of the Lord Mayor's dining-hall, while his grand piano was completely hidden in the gorgeous festoons of mint that, unchecked, had run a ragged riot about the place.

'At last, after two months of sickness, and despite every attention and kindness on the part of the doctor, the patients began to weary of being ill and kept to their beds for so long. The Lord Mayor was the first to arise and, although very weak in the legs, he managed to crawl to the top of the stairs, and looking down, beheld, to his dismay, the dreadful state of ruin in which everything was involved. He called for his servants as loudly as his weakness would allow him, and, obtaining no reply, he scrambled down the stairs on his hands and knees, and clamoured shrilly for a cut from the joint. As, of course, there was no one to procure this for him nor, indeed, any joint from which to procure a cut, he boiled himself an egg, and was able to survey the scene more calmly.

'Presently the aldermen crawled down one by one, then the shopmen, then the bandsmen, and, finally, the rest of the inhabitants, disturbed by the weeping and yells of those already arisen, struggled downstairs, and in agony beheld the general devastation.

'Resolved not to touch another drop of the doctor's medicine, they satisfied the cravings of their hunger, which now began to be felt, on the wild marrows, turnips, and mushrooms that everywhere abounded, and by degrees regained a little of their former vigour.

'The Lord Mayor and aldermen, already feeling a little more comfortable, held a long council, at which it was decided that it would be less expensive to burn the old town, and to build a new one on its site, than to try and clear up the old one. It was also decided to arrest the unfortunate doctor, whom they all now joined in accusing as the cause of their trouble, and bring him to trial.

'In the course of time the town was rebuilt, and the doctor was the first prisoner to stand on his trial at the new Town Hall.

'On the appointed day the Hall was crammed to its utmost, as at one time the prisoner had been much loved and looked up to by his fellow-townsmen.

'When the Lord Mayor arrived in state, between two Admirals of the Fleet, and took his seat, the foreman of the jury awakened his brother-jurors, who had been dozing off, and called for three cheers for the Lord Mayor, in which everybody joined. The Lord Mayor made no reply, except to frown severely at the foreman, and proceeded at once with the business in hand. "Lock all the doors and bring in the prisoner," cried he in a loud voice, after clearing his throat. The doors were instantly locked, but some confusion arose when it was discovered that they could not bring in the prisoner unless one were unlocked again. On this being very politely pointed out to the Lord Mayor (who did not seem quite to like being corrected), he altered his order, and cried out: "Bring in the prisoner, and lock all the doors." Immediately the band struck up the most martial music and the prisoner was brought in, tied tightly with twine, sealed with red sealing-wax, and guarded by a squad of infantry, who at once formed fours, and marked time for the rest of the afternoon.

'When the music had ceased, and the general excitement caused by the entrance of the prisoner had subsided, the Lord Mayor politely requested him to take a seat, which he very gladly did, on being untied by the policeman.

'Now, as every one knew that the doctor had really been the cause of all the trouble, the only point to be decided at the trial was whether he had done it intentionally or not, and the Lord Mayor addressed him accordingly, asking him if he had anything to say upon the subject. The doctor happened to be thinking of something else at the moment and, moreover, had his head turned in another direction, watching a fly on the window of the hall, so that he did not hear the question. The Lord Mayor waited about a quarter of an hour for an answer, and receiving none, he called, in an annoyed tone, for the witnesses for the prosecution.

'The principal witness for the prosecution was a Sicilian char-woman, whose evidence was translated by one of the many aldermen present to assist in case of need. It appeared that in her young days she had made the acquaintance of a young and handsome Sicilian waiter, a distant cousin, and a native of the village in which she was born. So friendly did they become in time that he had confided to her many of the secrets of his life, and, amongst others, one that had weighed very heavily upon his mind. Some time previously, when employed at a well-known refreshment hall, on the coast of Lombardy, he had waited upon a distinguished young gentleman of considerable means, and had overheard him whisper to a chance acquaintance, seated at the next table, that a friend of his, a tall dark man, had met a young lady at a whist-party, whose greatest friend had an aunt, formerly engaged to a well-meaning curate, who averred that his brother knew for certain that IT WAS DONE QUITE INTENTIONALLY BY ---- Here the waiter was called away to another client, and did not hear the rest of the sentence.

'Now the Sicilian char-woman, on hearing this from her good friend, was much puzzled, and not knowing to whom the words might refer, made a mental note of it at the time. On reading of the arrest of the doctor, however, and of what he was accused, she concluded that there must be some connection between him and the man mentioned by the brother of the well-meaning curate formerly engaged to the aunt of the greatest friend of the young lady who was met at the whist party by the tall dark friend of the young gentleman of considerable means who, as you know, was waited upon by the Sicilian waiter at the well-known refreshment hall in Lombardy, so she had hastened from Sicily to tell her tale. At the conclusion of her evidence a murmur of admiration was heard all over the court, and the Lord Mayor was so charmed with her and the really pleasant way in which she had told her tale, that he lightly threw a half-crown to her across the hall, which she very neatly caught. She then sat down, amidst the cheers of the crowd.

'The principal witness for the defence was a young journeyman tailor, who stated that on cleaning out the pockets of an old coat which had been left at his house for repairs by a dark gentleman of mysterious appearance, he had discovered an old envelope upon which he could just trace the figures 56--6.30 A.M. The coat was never called for, and the tailor pondered over the envelope, but could make nothing of it. He showed it to every policeman of his acquaintance, but not one could unravel the mystery, and, as a last resource, he procured an introduction to the principal policeman in the British Museum Library. This great man examined the envelope very carefully, but with no result, and the only advice he could give him was to call at every house numbered 56 at 6.30 in the morning and see what would happen.

'The tailor followed this advice diligently for some time and met with many rebuffs, as he had nothing to say on the door being opened to him. At length one morning he came to an empty house numbered 56, the steps of which were littered with straw. Gazing hopelessly at this for some time, he noticed that three pieces pointed distinctly in one direction to the corner of the street, and you may well imagine his surprise when, on following the direction indicated by the straw, he came across this postcard.'

Ptolemy Jenkinson here handed this torn postcard to the company.

Ptolemy again proceeded with his story:--

'Now the tailor, more puzzled than ever, took the card home, and, after weeks of deep thinking, decided that the card must have been completed thus.'

Ptolemy here handed the remaining portion of card, with the tailor's suggested completion, to the company.

'You may guess the surprise of every one present when the tailor produced the completed card. The Lord Mayor gazed at it in astonishment. He turned it over and over, and suddenly noticing that there was a foreign stamp on the other side, he became more excited than ever, and asked if he might tear it off, as his son had rather a good collection. This the tailor readily allowed him to do, and this put the Lord Mayor in a good temper for the rest of the afternoon, and gave a more cheerful aspect to the case altogether.

'After the tailor's evidence, which, of course, proved that the doctor had not intended to bring about the harm of which he had been the unfortunate cause, there was nothing for the Lord Mayor to do but to acquit the prisoner, which he did, much to everybody's relief.

'The Lord Mayor then retired, after ordering a new suit of clothes from the journeyman tailor, and inviting the Sicilian charwoman and the other witnesses to progressive whist and to be introduced to his family.

'So, Gentlemen,' said Ptolemy in conclusion, 'my uncle and myself are quite free at last, and entirely at your service.'

Such a valuable offer could not very well be refused, so, after explaining the object of the expedition to their new friends, the whole force moved joyfully on.

* * * * *

THE RESPECTABLE GENTLEMAN AND THE BOY SCOUT

In due time the gallant army arrived at the little town of Killgruel, a very respectable place indeed, at which they spent the pleasantest of week-ends, entertained at 'At Homes,' soirees, and receptions, to any number of which every member of the expedition was invited during their brief stay. Bill and the King were the guests of the very respectable and Right Honourable Hesketh Fitzgreynib, the Mayor of Killgruel, who entertained them with the extremest gentility imaginable. So respectable and genteel was their host, that it had been said of him that never had he been known to don the same suit twice, having at the very least a new one every day; nor had he ever been seen to remove his lavender gloves even at meal times. It was also reported that, not content with bowing most politely to every one he met in the street, he behaved in a like genteel manner to all the pillar-boxes and lamp-posts that he passed upon his way, and that he always walked sideways down the street with his back to the wall, in order that he should not be compelled to turn it upon the passers-by. Whether these reports are true or not, it is certain that he was the most gentlemanly gentleman in all Killgruel, a town which could boast more elegant and refined people than any other town in the whole world.

He was indeed the pride of Killgruel, and so respected by his fellow-townsmen, who valued him greatly for his exceptional gentlemanliness, that he was not allowed to soil his hands by so much as a stroke of work, but only to be respectable from morning to night. An intelligent boy scout was employed to look after him, and even to think for him, with orders never on any account to leave him, so that in time this respectable gentleman became very respectable indeed, and relying for almost everything on the intelligence and affection of the boy scout, who now performed for him even his duties as Mayor of Killgruel, the good man was enabled to devote his whole thoughts to the cultivation of his respectability.

His good wife, the Lady Lilian Leankettle, who was extravagantly devoted to her husband, shone in the same brilliant manner, and was quoted as a model of gentility by all the good wives of the little community, while Bildith, their charming and handsome daughter, gave every promise of inheriting their interesting ways.

But delightful as all this was to the band of warriors, on Monday morning they were compelled to resume their journey. It was, however, so early when they were ready to start that the gates of the town were not unlocked, so the Honourable Hesketh, with whom, as Mayor of Killgruel, the keys were always left at night, allowed the scout to take the keys and let the wanderers out. After a charmingly polite farewell from the Right Honourable Hesketh and others of their entertainers who had gathered by the town hall to see them off, the gallant band marched down the high street towards the only gate of the town, headed by the intelligent boy scout. From the first the King showed symptoms of being rather unmanageable, and Bill had great difficulty in getting him past the shops, which were now all taking down their shutters, and when they arrived at the sweet-stuff shop there was nothing for it but to go in and buy him some cocoanut ice.

At length they managed to get clear of the gates, which were then closed with a bang behind them, and the last they saw of the intelligent boy scout was with the great town keys held firmly between his teeth, in order that he might hold with one hand the top of the wall to which he had hastily climbed, while with the other he waved a fond good-bye to the departing wanderers.

With a great gurgling cry, which all took to be one of grief at their departure, the affectionate lad suddenly disappeared and the brave fellows resumed their march.