Chapter IV: Part 4

then in the afternoon i went butterfling with Potter Goram and got sum splendid red and black ones on the nettle flowers by the side of the road. father he came home from Boston good-natured and was glad to see i was so mutch better and we had the roach and pickeril for supper and they was fine. after supper father went down town for sumthing and we was setting round the table. Cele had read the 95nd palsam and was reading Dare Devvil Dave the Ded Shot and i was wateing for father who sed he wood bring me a new novil from Fogg and Fellers store. Keene was reading the Fireside Companion, mother lets her read that insted of the New York Legger. Georgie was putting a picture puzel together and Annie and Franky and the baby had been put to bed when i heard father comin up the steps. as soon as he opened the door i sed have you got my novil and he sed the thing you will get is a thundering good licking insted of a novil and i see i a minit that he was mad. so i sed what have i done and he sed what in thunder did you wright that devilish leter to that infernal idiut Aspinwall for? and i sed i done it to beg his pardon and mother she sed i done rite. then father he sed that is a prety way to beg a mans pardon by telling him i sed he was a dam hippokrit. then i sed i dident say you sed he was a dam hippokrit i only sed you sed when a man tries to be a decon and a plug ugly one at the same time it was the dam hippockerasy of the thing that made you mad. i dident say you sed he was a dam hippokrit.

father he sed for goddlemitys sakes what is the difference? what rite had you to tell him that ennyway and i sed well you did say it dident you? and he sed of coarse i sed it and it is true but if you dont know enny more than to tattle evrything i say at home i will give you a good sound thrashing rite now and i thougt i was going to get it when mother sed wait George to father and then she sed to me what did you wright to decon Aspinwall and i cood remember all of it and i told her jest what i had rote and she leened back in her chair and begun to laff and laffed and laffed until i thought she wood fall out of her chair and Aunt Sarah she laffed almost as hard as mother and father he begun to laff and then we all laffed. i laffed becaus i see father laffin and i sed to my self it is all rite he wont lick me now. so i laffed. after we had stoped laffing mother sed how did you find out about the letter George and father he sed i went into Fogg and Fellers store to get your novil and while i was talking to Jack Fogg up come decon Aspinwall as red as a beat and sed what do you mean George Shute by calling me a dam hippokrit? and i sed i havent called you a dam hippokrit or enny sort of a hippokrit and he sed yes you have and i have it hear in black and white and he shook a leter rite in my face. so i sed i dont know what you meen. i havent rote any leter about you and he sed i know it but your misable son has ritten this atrosius epissle and you shall pay for it sir, you shall pay for it. well all the peeple in the store were lissening and i was a geting mad and so i sed well decon i know you aint drunk for you are to cussed meen to pay for a drink and so i gess you must be crasy but to keep you from going cleer out of your mind i will read the leter and i was sirprized. but i tried to smooth it over and sed now decon do you supose for one minit that i ever thougt that of you, mutch less sed it? and he sed yes sir that is jest what a man like you wood say and think two. well i kep my temper and tride to smooth him down but the more i tride the mader he got and finally he told me i was a defaimer of innosent persens and that he wood maik me proove it in coart. then i got mad and sed look hear you longnosed old vagrant, sue and be damned, but i have heard enuf of your chin musick and if you say 2 words moar i will smash that sankit monious old snout of yours so flat that they wont be able to see your ears. then i told him to go to hell and i come home. but it was the bigest fool performance to wright a leter like that i ever heard of and if you ever do ennything again like that i will tan the hide off of you.

i sed i woodent and i hoaped nobody wood say enny more but jest then mother sed i hoap you were moar cairful about the other leters and father he sed what have you sent enny others and i sed yes sir and he sed who elce did you wright to and i told him and he sed what did you wright to Missis Peezly and i sed i told her i was verry sorry for what i hollered to Beany and asted her to forgive me, and he sed are you sure and i sed yes sir hoap to die and cross my throte. and he sed what did you wright to Rody Shatuck and i sed i rote her jest about the saim as i had rote to Missis Peezly and he asted if i was sure and i sed hoap to die and cross my throte. and he asted me what i rote to the minister and i sed i asked him to forgive me becaus i douted his word and for sassing him and he sed are you sure and i sed hoap to die and cross my throte.

then he asted if i rote the same to the other peeple and i sed yes ser and he sed well thank the good lord you had more sence than you did when you rote the leter to old Aspinwall. and i sed yes sir I am glad i had so i thougt i was all rite when the door bell rang kind of mad. i can always tell how a person feals when he rings our doorbell and when he neerly pulls it out i know he is mad. i felt as if sumthing was going to hapen jest then.

well Cele went to the door and i heard a woman asing if father was in and i reconised Misses Peezlys voice and i gnew she was mad and i wondered what she was mad for. so father he went in and i cood her her yapping away at him and cood hear father talking but coodent hear what they was saying. mother sed i hope you told your father the truth and i sed yes mam. bimeby father come in and called mother and she went in and i cood hear her talking. jest then the door bell rang and Cele let in old Rody Shatuck and a minit afterwerds in come Angelina Annis and Unice and Mary Ann Wilkins and Feeby Derborn all of them jest mad enuf to fite. i cood tell they was mad by the way they asted for father. i tell you i got fealing prety sick but i coodent see what they was mad about. when they went into the parlor you wood have thougt it was a chirch meating when they was voating for the carpet in the vestry. evry woman talked to onct jest as loud as they cood. i never head such a noise in my life before. bimeby father come in and told me to come in and told me not to say a word unless to answer questions that he asked. i hated awful to go in but i had to. when i got in they was all there with there faces as red as beats and mad enuf to bit spikes. Rody Shatuck called me a misable brat and old Missis Peezly called me a low minded retch and made a mosshun as if she was going to paist me one with her old umbrela, but father told me to set down in a chair by mother then Angelina sed to mother that she augt to be ashaimed of herself for incurageing me in my criminallity. that is what she sed but i dident know what she ment. but father who had not yipped a single yip sence i went in sed loud now look hear Misses Shatuck i want you to understand that you must keep Missis Shute out of this discussion. you can say what you like to me or about me and when you are all through i may have sumthing to say but if ennyone of you say a word disrespectful to her why then we will stop this thing to onct. Now if you understan that go ahead. well i gess they understood it for of all the talk you ever heard, you wood have thought to thousand hens was cakling. they jest give it to me and father. father looked stern and serius but i thougt i cood see sumthing in his eys that looked like he wanted to laff, but mother dident look a bit like laffing. bimeby when they had talked about a hour it seamed to me they stoped. then father sed now young ladies i am a grate deel older then you are and have tride to look at the matter on both sides. why father aint within a most a hundred years so old as eny of them but he gnew how to pleese them. mother looked mad but father went on. as for you Missis Peezly nobody here ever heard of you having fits or ennything else. i goke a good deel to home here and i never goke about peeple i dont like. it is always about peeple for which i have the greatest respec and liking. i may have sed sumthing like what he sed and if i did i hadent augt to have did it, and woodent have did it if i had suposed that this boy woodent have gnew better than to have took it serius. i beg your pardon verry sincerely and this boy must do it two. so father he done it and i had to do it a 2th time. well she told father she was sorry she lost her temper with him for evrybody sed he was a perfick gentleman, but she still thougt the boy had augt to be punished verry sevearly for mottifiing her so. father he sed she mite be very sure he wood attend to that and he glore at me when he sed it as if he wood cut me into 40 peaces and she sed good nite to father and good nite to mother and mother looked at her as if she wasent there and old Missis Peezly tirned red and snifed and went out stifleged.

then father he sed to Rody Shatuck now Missis Shatuck the last thing in the wirld that a yung lady shood be ashamed of is to be slite and graiceful. that is one of the menny things you had augt to be proud of. there isnt a fat woman in this town whitch dusent envy you for your graice and activity, of coarse the boy was very infortunate in his choice of words but i asure you that the only thing he did was to call two publick atension to your verry atractive figure. i am real sorry i was not there to taik advantage of a most unusual oportunity. and then old Rody gigled and sed she had been told she had a fine figure but she dident like to be told like i told it and father glore at me again and sed it woodent happen again and she sed goodnite to father and to mother and mother looked at her as if she wasent there at all and she tirned red and snifed and went off stifleged like old Missis Peezly.

then father sed to Mary Ann and Unice Wilkins and Feeby Derborn. young ladies there probly aint enny peeple that do as mutch for the moral uplif of the chirch as those devoted young wimmen whitch do so mutch to help the minister in his menny duties in the chirch and parrish and when the history of the chirch is rote you young ladies will occupy a very high place on the role of onner. they always is and always will be peeple whitch is consoomed with gelousy and probly sum one has sed things and my son has heard them. but i am sure young ladies whitch is so kind harted as you have shew yourselfs to be will not be two sevear on a boy whitch at the time was sufering from poizen ivory and over eating and as for his part he wood punish him sevearly for saying what he did.

so they sed if he wood do that it wood be all rite and they sed it was a pleasure to talk with a man who was so willing to do rite and to maik others do rite and father sed it was a pleasure to meat and talk to ladies of their standing in chirch and in society and he shook hands with them and they sed good nite to father and to mother and mother looked at them jest as if they wasent there, and they all tirned red and snifed and went off mad as time and jest as stifleged as the others.

well after they had went father looked at mother kind of funny and scrached his hed and sed well Joey, he calls mother Joey, you have got about as mutch tack as a fire alarm on resurexion day and mother sed George Shute do you realy mean to say that you are going to whip him for lying to you after what you have sed to them wimmen? and father laffed and sed he had to do sumthing to teech me a lesson and that one moar nite like this wood send him to a mad house. and mother told him he lide to them wimmen wirse than i had lide to him and he sed it wasent lies it was dipplomercy and if she had enny tack he wood have had them gnitting sox and mittens for him, and mother snifed two.

so then he took me up stairs and licked me. not verry hard but moar than i desirved. but the wirst was that i cant go out of the yard for 3 days and nex weak is the last weak of vacation. i think it is prety meen to treat a boy so whitch has lade between life and deth for 3 days. i always get the wirst of it when i try to be good.

i never will try to be good again if i live a million years.

September 4, 186- brite and fair. it mite jest as well rane as not. i cant go out of the yard today and none of the fellers have been up. i saw Beany ride by on Jo Palmers back. i hollered at him but he dident look. then Pewt went down throug the high school yard with 2 oars over his shoulder. me and Pewt aint so frendly now becaus old man Purinton has bougt 2 boats, new ones and is leting them to peeple for less than i get for mine. he has painted them all white with a red rim and a picture on the stirn and they dont enny peeple want my boat. i wasent mad with Pewt but he feals so big over his old boats that it maiks me sick.

ennyway he mite have come over to see me when i was sick and laid between life and deth 3 days. sum other peeple mite have come. Lizzie Tole was one of them. if it had been Beany she wood have went to see him.

i read in a book onct how a feller had a girl whitch took up with another feller whitch had a fine horse and buggy and a silver mounted harnis. so this feller told her he had lost all faith in wimmens consistency and had put them out of his life for ever. so the girl laffed and told him all rite she dident cair. so he went away with his hart curroded with bitterniss and went to wirk in a hotel. He wirked so hard that in 3 years he oaned the hotel and had money in the bank. then the girl rote him that she had always luved him and never had luved the other feller but he rote her that the dye was cast, he shood never marry. and he never did, so his children never gnew a mothers cair.

so i shall never marry like that feller who dident and all on account of Beany. sumhow i cant get mad with Beany. i had augt to menny times and keep mad two but i cant do it.

September 5, 186---i got up erly this morning befoar father went to Boston and took cair of Nellie and swept out the stable and luged in the water and split a lot of wood and blacked fathers boots and set up and had breckfast with him. i was hoaping he wood let me go out of the yard. but he dident say nothing about that but did say i had got to get up evry morning befoar he goes away and do my chores i done them so well this morning. i thougt that was a prety mean thing for him to do. i wished i hadent got up. well tonite father he caime home mad and sed i was the bigest fool he ever see. he sed i had blacked his boots with stove polish and evrybody laffed at him. so i wont have to get up. i had to black his boots over 2 times with Day and Martins blacking befoar i cood get them to shine. it was a awful long day in the yard. Beany brougt his black and tan terrier over and we got Frank Haines dog over and had a fite but jest as they were going good mother come out and poared a pale of water on them and they run off prety quuick. neether licked. that is always the way. sumbody always stops the good fites.

it was Saterday nite and after i had luged in about a milion pales of water and filled all the tubs for the folks to taik there baths in father he sed to mother, Joey, he calls her Joey, becaus her name is Joanna. sumtimes when father wants to plage her he calls her Johanna with a h and says she is irish. she dont like that becaus she is inglish. mother came to America when she was 3 years of aig and so she doesent remember verry much about ingland. father says mother dont understand gokes becaus she is inglish and mother says she is glad of it becaus a good menny of fathers gokes hadent augt to be understood by ennybody. when she says that father always laffs and says she is a goker herself sumtimes.

well i forgot what i was a going to say becaus when i wright about my father and mother i dont think about ennything else they are so bully. My father was the best fiter in Exeter or ennywhere elce. Ed Thursten told me that once he and father went down to newmarket and a feller in the hotel tride to lick father and father hit him a old he one in the snout and gnocked him up 2 flites of stairs and round 3 corners befoar he stoped. i bet they aint many fellers whitch cood do that. ennyway Ed was there and seen him do it and he says he can show me the hotel and the stairs and the corners he went round and the big dent in the wall where he stoped. so i gess it must be so. i bet Beanys father coodent do it. i bet Pewts coodent eether.

evrybody likes father and calls him George and he gokes with them and gets them to say funny things and then he laffs and evrybody laffs. so he dont never have to fite now. i am glad of it for i shoodent like to se father fite even if he can lick evrybody.

gosh it is funny i forgot what i was going to say. you see i think father and mother is about the best peeple in the wirld. i dont know whitch is best. father says mother is wirth 500 of him and he augt to know becaus he has gnew her longer than i have.

well father sed well Joey, he calls her Joey, how has the boy behaived himself today and mother sed he has done verry well indeed. so father he sed to me what do you say if we go in swimming at the gravil and i sed all rite i wood like to. so we went down to the boat and i rew him up to the gravil and we went in and had a grate swim. father dont like to have me swim under water. he says i stay under so long that he gets scart for fear that i wont never come up. after we got back home he let me go down town with him and after he had been to old Tom Conners store and old Nat Weeks and old Josh Getchels and Gid Lyfords we went into Fogg and Fellows store and father bougt a new novil for me. the naim of it is Grissly Ike the Scalp Lifter. i bet it is a riper. i havent read it yet becaus father sed as long as he let me go out befoar my tirm of imprisenment was over i had got to let Cele read it first. so she read it most all the evining. she only read one palsam tonite. she aint so religus as i thougt she was when they is a new novil round.

September 6, 186---brite and fair to-day and cool. it feals like autum. i tell you i dont like to have the summer go. one weak from nex munday school begins. i hait to think of it. we will have to do the old xamples about A. and B. and how many squaire feet there is in 4 ackers 2 roods and 28 rods and New Hamshire is bounded on the north by Maine on the east by long ileand Sound on the south by Rode Iland and Conetticut and on the west by New York, and the capital of Tennysee is Tallyhassy and the capital of New York is Oswego and things we lerned last year. sumtimes i feal like saying to old Francis, who sed it aint, but i know if i did he wood lam time out of me. well i have got one moar weak. i hoap i wont be kep in enny more. i cant spair a single minit.

went to chirch today. the quire coodent sing becaus sumthing was rong with the organ. only the squeel keys wood go and they went as loud as a steam whistle. the base keys woodent maik a single yip. old Chipper Berley clim into the organ after chirch was over and found that sumbody had stufed a old pair of overhals and a old hat all spatered with paint into the big pipe. Chipper told Beany he done it and Beany he sed he dident hoap to die an cross his throte and then Chipper he held up the overhals and the hat and they both had I. M. Watson rote on them and so Beany has lost his gob this time forever so Chipper sed and he waulked Beany out by the ear. Beany told me honest he dident do it. he sed he pumped jest as hard as he cood becaus he dident want to let the wind go out. Chipper sed the reeson he pumped so hard was becaus he gnew that all the wind wood go into the squeel keys and sound awful. Beany feals prety bad over it becaus he needed the money. he has bougt sumthing at old Bill Morrils gewelry store. I knew what it is two and who it is for but Beany dont know i know. Beany will feal prety cheap if he has to give it back to old Bill. praps she wont give it back to Beany. then Beany will be in a scraip. ennyway if she wont give it back Beany wont never forgive her. i hoap she wont. it will be tuf on Beany.

September 7, 186---Beany is fealing prety bad. he asted me if i cood lend him a dollar. honest i coodent becaus i aint got it. he says he has got to get a dollar ennyway. i lent him 40 cents so he aint got to get but 60 cents moar. he tride to get a gob today poasting bills but Cris Staples got it. then Beany he went up to Chipper Berleys to get his pay and Chipper told him he was lucky not to get arested for distirbing a religus meating. so Beany dont know what to do. he aint got ennything to sell and i aint eether. he tride to borrow it of Pewt but Pewt sed he dident have it.

September 8, 186---they is a circus coming to town next Friday. it was going to be in Portsmouth but there was another circus got the the circus grounds ferst and so they are coming to Exeter. me and Pewt and Beany are going to get a gob poasting bills. the bill poaster was in town today with a red and blue and gold cart with 2 calico horses and put up the big bills. he only had 2 big ones and dident have enny others and cant get them until Wensday nite and he wants me and Pewt and Beany to put them up in the nite so that when the peeple get up in the morning they can see them the ferst thing. the way he hapened to get us is becaus Beanys father and Pewts father is painters and paper hangers and so they went to them and they wodent stay up all nite to do it and then he asted if they was enny boys to do it for a dollar a peace and a ticket and so we got the gob. we cant tell ennyone jest what we have got to do but it is bully. he told us that we was to put the pictuers up in the rite places to make a show and atract the attension of the peeple. where they cood see them the best. so we are going to do it. he says the secrit of poasting bills is to get them in the rite places. he give us a list of the pictures. these are them. the hippotymus the behemuth of hoaly rit. the boar constricter whitch can crush and swalow a hole dear or oxx at one meal. the hieener that by stelth repairs to the graive yards at nite and digs up the bodys of the ded and devours them. Jo Jo the dog face man the ofspring of a babboon and a aborrygine, the most repullsive haff human being in the wirld. the stork which brings blessings to the householes in the shape of babies. the cheater or hunting lepard. the spider munkey, and the tapir and the geraft. Pewt has got the list so peraps i havent rote them all rite. we are going to meat and deside where to poast them up as soon as Pewt gets them. peraps tomorrow.

Sept. 9, 186---rany today and cold as time. i tell you it ranes and blows. Aunt Sarah says may be it is the equinoxious storm. that usually comes on the 22th. i hoap it wont rane Wensday nite. we cant poast up bills in a rane storm and if we dont poast up them bills we dont get no dollar and no ticket and what will Beany do then? Beany is in a tite place. if he cant get that dollar he has got to get that present back from Lizzie Tole. if she wont give it back then Beany may have to go to jale and he wont never forgive her. if she has to give it back she will be mad with Beany forever and ever. i almost hoap it will rane. no i dont eether. it will be two tuf on Beany. what ever Beany has did to me i like him and i hoap it wont rane and that Beany will get his dollar. i cant be mutch fairer than that can i?

this afternoon we went up in the barn on the hay, me and Pewt and Beany and talked over where we are going to poat up the bills nex Wensday nite tomorrow. it raned so that Pewt dident dass to bring over the bills. they are in his shop all roled up in a role as big as my leg and tide tite. so we looked at our list and we are going to put the picture of the cheeter on decon Aspinwalls house. he is the bigest cheeter we know and everybody says so.

the stork we are going to put on Mrs. Clarisser Dorsons front door. Pewt says he heard his mother say that the dorsons xpect a baby pretty soon. so we all agreed that wood be the place to put it.

we all got jawing about where we shood put the picture of the elefant. Beany thougt it had augt to go on Horris Cobbs front door. Pewt thougt it had augt to go on old mister Gechels store and i thougt it had augt to go on Fatty Frogs house. Horris Cobb is the fattest man in town but he aint tall. odd mister Gechel is feerful tall, almost ten feet i gess but he aint verry big as Fatty Fogg is lots taller than Horris and 3 times as big round as old mister Gechel. so we decided to put the elefant on Fatty Foggs house and the Giraft on Gechels house.

the hieener we are going to put on the berrying ground gait rite under where it says we are all passing away. you know the hieener digs up people and devours them and Beany says that will go well with the sine. that was a good one for Beany. i bet that circus man will say we are prety smart felers.

the howling munkey we are going to put on the Methydist parsonage. the reverent Josiar Higgins has got white whiskers on his throte jest like the howling munkeys and i bet he can howl as loud sundays. so that is the rite place for that picture. i never gnew befoar how mutch beter it is to have things did rite.

we are going to put the picture of the tapir on my uncle Gilman's house. Pewt thougt it had augt to be put on Ikey Blums house only Ikey aint got any house and his shop is not on enny street. Ikey has a old plug horse and colects bones and rags and iron. he has the longest nose i ever see. it goes way down over his mouth. i dont see how he can eat. my uncle Gilman has got the next longest nose. his nose is a good deal biger than Ikeys but it aint so long. but uncle Gilman is lucky becaus he has got a house to put the picture on. he can blow his nose so it sounds jest like a cornet. not so good as Bruce Briggam can play the cornet but prety good.

i bet he will be pleesed that he beat Ikey and Ikey will be mad, but nobody can have evrything in this wirld.

the picture of the boar constricter we are going to put on the front gait of old decon Eberneaser Petigrew. he goes to all the chirch supers and eats moar than enny man there. one time Charlie Folsom the resterant man whitch makes clam chowder wanted to see how mutch old Eben cood eat and he invited him in and made a hoal wash boiler full of chowder. Charlie sed he put in a peck of clams and 2 galons of milk and a lot of potatoes and onyiuns and he invited old decon Petigrew in and he et and et and et and et. Charlie begun to get scat for feer he wood bust. bimeby he stoped eating becaus he coodent hold enny moar. he had et all but about 4 quats. Charlie dident sleep enny that nite he wurrid so about decon. he thougt sure he wood die befoar morning. so he got up erly the nex morning and come down town. when he went by Ebens house he looked up to see if there was enny craip or a reath on the door. there wasent so he gnew he hadent dide but he gessed he was prety sick. well what do you think when he got to his resterant there stood old Eben all rite wateing for him and he told Charlie that if he dident want the rest of that chowder he wood take it. so Charlie he give it to him and he says he must be jest like a boar constricter.

father has always told me to do evry thing rite that i attempt to do. he tells me that all the time. i gess he will find that i can do things rite as well as the nex one. tonite when we come out of the barn it had stoped raning and the sun come out i hoap it will be good wether tomorrow and nex day two. Pewt is going to make 2 buckets of paist. me and Beany are to get the flour for it and Pewt makes it. he knows how better than we do. he and Beany fernish the brushes to put on the paist. i fernish a lantirn if it is two dark.

September 10, 186---brite and fair and jest bully wether. i got up late today and i am glad of it becaus i have a hard days wirk tonite, father told me this morning that i must distinkly understand that there aint going to be no fooling tonite but jest wirk. i prommised we woodent do nothing but wirk and put the bills in the best places so as to pleese evrybody. that is what the circus man told us not to do enny damige and not to get ennyone mad but to put the bills where they will attrack the most atension. and that is why he is to pay us so mutch money and give us a ticket apeace to the show.

after breckfast i split up enuf wood for today and luged in 2 pales of water and went over to Pewts. Beany was there and we opened the role of pictures and they were old lunkers. gosh the howling munkeys looked jest like the reverent Josier Higgins and the cheeter looked kind of slanty eyd and meen like Decon Aspinwall. the boar constricter was swalowing a live cow hoal. i bet peeple will laff. and the tapir honest he looked kind of like my uncle Gilman.

well we are going to go ferst over the river to uncle Gilmans and then to old mister Gechel and then to Pettigrews and then to Clarisser Dorsons and then to Decon Aspinwalls and then to the reverent Josier Higgins and so on. Pewt thinks it will taik 2 hours to do it good so they cant be toar down if we done it with tacs ennybody whitch dident like it cood yank it off eesy but if we paist it on with a little gum arab in it, it will have to be scrope off with a gnife. so Pewt says and i gess he knows, we carried up 2 paper bags of flour and Pewt made 2 buckits of paist. we paisted a picture of Flora Temple the fastest trotting horse in the wirld on a mahoginy buro that Pewts father is polishing for Doctor Goram Potters grandfather and i bet it will taik a weak to get it off. so i gess Pewts paist is good paist. we are going to meat at Beanys at haff past 12 oh clock. father is going to wake me at 12 oh clock. i hoap he wont forget to wake up. ennyway it wont make enny difference for i shant go to sleep. i bet we will have a good time.

Beany says it is all up with him if he dont get that dollar. he says he will be the ferst of his family to go to jale. that is what a feller gets for being in debt. Beany had augt to have wated. but i supose when a feller gets going with a girl he dont think. Beany is not bad but thinkless. i hoap it will be a lessen to him. he is feerfully wurrid but he needent be for if the wirst comes to wirst i shall sell one of my hens. i havent told him this becaus if he gnew it perhaps he wood spend the dollar for sumthing else for her. but while i have a hen to my naim Beany shall not go to jale. i wood not go to bed at all tonite if father woodent know it but if my lite aint out by 10 oh clock he hollers for me to go to bed lively. so i am going to read Grissly Ike the Scalp Lifter until 10 oh clock and then go to bed and lissen for the clock to strike 12.

September 13, 186---this is saterday. i almost wish i was ded. i havent been out of my room sence Thirsday xcept to split wood and lug water and feed the sheep and horse and hens. father says one moar sumer like this one will make a gibbering manioc of him. he says there must be sumthing rong with me. he dont know wether he had augt to lick it out of me or send me to the reform school or to a place where they keep idjuts. that is the way he talks to me but when old Decon Aspinwall and the reerent Josier Higgins and Clarisser Dorsens husband and old man Pettigrew sed i had augt to be sent to the reform school he told them to go strait to hell and try it if they thougt they cood. Beanys father has kep Beany in his room and Pewts father has kep Pewt in. the only time i can speak to Beany is after father has went to Boston and Beanys father has went down town we holler across from our chamber winders. we havent seen Pewt for his chamber is on the back of his house. i asted Beany what he was going to do about the dollar and he says he xpected the poliseman to come for him enny time. i told him if the poliseman come to tell him to come over and take the best hen i had. Beany felt better and sed i was a trew frend. he says it is a pity things is as they is but he cant help it. a feller cant help they way he feals sumtimes. peraps i am lucky that Beany has cut me out for if i had cut him out i mite be xpecting to go to jale. if i hadent heard father tell them men to go to hell i wood be afrade of going tojale or the reform school. i dont beleeve reform school or jale is enny wirse then staying in your room when a circus paraid is going by on the nex strete.

i think i will wright about what has hapened tomorrow whitch is sunday. i want to finish reading Grissly Ike the Scalp Lifter. Cele tiptode up to my room and threw it in. Cele always stands up for a feller when he is in truble. probly after the hoal thing has bloan over if it ever does Cele will tell mother she done rong in giving me the novil and will ask to be punished that is jest like Cele.

September 14, 186---brite and fair. i am in my room wrighting. most everybody has went to chirch xcept mother who never gets time to go and father who is eether over to Pewts fathers shop or over to Beanys fathers barn talking. Beany has got his gob back becaus they found out that Pewt put the overhals and old hat into the organ. he done it to play a trick on Beany but he dident meen to lose him his gob. so it is all rite. i see Beany going to chirch. i cant go. it is tuf to have to stay in your room and not be aloud to go to chirch. that is a prety way to bring up a boy i shood say. it will be lucky for them if i dont grow up a drunkard and a robber or a berglar. some day father will be sorry for what he has did to me.

well it is a long story. last Thursday nite i fell asleep and father waked me up at 12 oh clock. i went to Beanys and found him and we went to Pewts and got the paist and the pictures. i luged one pale and Beany the other. Pewt luged the paper. we had to change hands lots of times and set the pales down. i tell you they was heavy. it was clowdy but as it was moon time it was prety lite. we dident see nobody and it seamed kind of dreery.

we got to uncle Gilmans and paisted the picture of the tapir up rite on the front side of his house. then we went to Gechels house and paisted up the giraft. we had a long handeled brush and i had to stand on Beanys shoulder to reech the girafs head. the picture reeched nearly to the roof. once we thougt we was cougt but it was only a horse kicking in the barn. we dident make enny noise and when we talked we jest wispered. it was almost as mutch fun as hooking water mellons. then we went to old Pettigrews and paisted up the boar constricter. then we went to Fatty Foggs and his dog woodent let us come near the house. we thougt he wood knaw us and Pewt hit him with a rock and he yelped so loud that old Fatty come down in his shirt tale and a little tin lamp but we was hid behine sum boards.

then we went to Clarisser Dorsens but it was all lit up and doctor Perrys horse and chase was there hiched to a poast. we wated and bimeby old man Dorson come out on the run and went down town. bimeby he came back with a old woman and they went into the house so we coodent put the stork picture on her house without being cougt and we put it on Billy Hansoms house. Billy and his wife have jest been married and last weak the fellers give them a serinaid. so we thougt they wood be pleased to be notised. by that time the town clock struck 2. so we had to hurry and them pales was heavy. so we come over the bridge and throug Clifford strete to Coart strete. Pewt he had to go into his house and while he was gone Beany sed it wood be a good goke on Pewt to put Jo Jo the Dog faced man picture on Pewts house because Pewts father has got long wiskers. so we done it and when Pewt come out we told him we had put it on old Hen Dows house and Pewt thougt that was bully.

Then Beany wanted to go in his house to get sum donuts and while he was in Pewt sed it wood be a good thing to put the Spider Monkey picture on Beanys house. Beanys father is kind of thin and wear awful tite britches and a blew coat and dresses elegant and so we done it and when Beany come out with his donuts we set down and et them and he dident notise ennything.

well after we had et the donuts we paisted up the Cheeter picture on Decon Aspinwalls house and the elefant on Horris Cobbs house and the Hineer one on the berrying yard. we tried verry hard to do a good gob there and we gnew it wood maik a fine apearance rite under the sine we are all passing away. then we come home. father let me in and asted me if i done enny damige and i sed no. he asted me where we paisted up the bills and i told him he cood see in the morning when he went to the trane. so i went to bed.

the nex morning mother come up and waked me and told me to dress and come down stairs jest as quick as i cood. she looked xcited. i asted her if ennybody was sick and she sed wirse than that. i cood hear peeple talking loud down stairs and i run down as quick as i cood get my close on and without washing my face or comeing my hair. when i got down there in the setting room i saw Billy and Mrs. Billy Hanson and old Pettigrew and Beanys father and Pewts father and the reverent Josier Higgins and old man Wiggins the trusty of the berrying ground and Decon Aspinwall and Pewt and Beany and father and mother and Aunt Sarah. and they were all piching in xcept father and mother and Aunt Sarah who dident say ennything. Mrs. Billy Hanson sed she had never been so insulted in her life. she sed she had lived a good cristian life and to have sech a insult paisted on her house was more than flesh and blud cood stand and she boohood like a big baby. and Decon Aspinwall sed he had stood all he was going to and this time the coarts wood take it up and settle it onct for all if peeple was to be insulted and defaimed and there rites trampled on and the reverent Josier sed he thougt the sacrid eddifise of whitch he was a unwerthy paster had augt to be safe from infaimus attacks and that he shood ast the coarts to rite him in the publick ey.

and old man Wiggins he sed that the ded wood tirn in there graives if they see what was on the berrying ground gait. and Beanys father sed he wasent going to be called a spider munkey for nothing and Pewts father sed he was going to find out who poasted up that Jo Jo bill befoar he left, if it took the rest of his lifetime. then they all talked together and made a feerful noise. bimeby father sed now you have all had your chance, less find out sumthing about it. so he told them what he gnew about the circus man asking us to poast the bills and Pewts father and Beanys father sed that was so. then father asted me why i done it and i told him we were told to poast the bills in aproprate places to atrack attension and we done it. i sed we was going to put the stork up on Missis Dorsens house but the doctor was there and we coodent and so we put it on Misses Hansons. and then Missis Hanson saled into me like time again then Pewts father sed Pewt sed he dident know ennything about puting the Jo Jo bill on his house and i sed he was in the house then and Beanys father sed Beany sed he dident know about the spider munkey bill and i sed Beany was in the house then and i done it.

then they all sed i was the ring leeder and had led Pewt and Beany into temptasion and old Decon Aspinwall sed it was mity queer that we dident put up ennything on fathers house and the boy was the father of the man and that he wood see that i was sent to the reform school and that father paid heavy damages.

that was the time father got mad and told him to go to hell and old Decon went off to see his lawyer. then father told the others that he wood do all he cood to make it rite and he took me round to all of them to their houses and made me beg their pardon. peeple were scraping the pictures off and washing them with hot water and evrybody was laffing.

Uncle Gilman and Mister Gechel and Horris Cobb all laffed and sed it was a good goke but the others were all feerful mad with me and father and not very mad with Pewt and Beany. that is all rite but the idea of me leading Pewt and Beany into temtasion makes me sick.

well Pewt got a licking and Beany got a licking and i got a licking and we have all got to stay in the house until school begins. but Beany had to go to chirch to keep his gob.

it is prety tuf to stay in a fellers room and to hear a circus band playing and not go jest becaus we tride to do the best we cood. ennyway i am glad i aint going to the reform school. father jest come in with a paper. he sed he had been arested and had to get bale. he sed old Decon Aspinwall had sewed him for 10 thousand dollars for defaiming his caracter. father sed old Decon had to go to Portsmouth for a lawyer, and that Amos Tuck and General Marstin and Judg Stickney and Alvy Wood all come up and sed they wood see him throug without paying a dam cent. father feals prety good tonite. Aunt Sarah says he always does when there is a chane for a fite.

this is the ferst time in my life i ever hoaped school wood begin. ennything is beter than staying in your room.

September 15, 186---school begun today and i went. i dident supose i ever wood ruther go to school than stay in my room espeshully a school whitch is taugt by old Francis. but they is always sumthing lively taiking place in old Francis school. sumtimes Micky Guold is setting down on tacts or the points of pens whitch has been stuck in his seet so they wont fall over like a bent pin whitch aint mutch good enyway most of the time and hollering bludy merder and geting snached baldheaded for it by old Francis, or Beany or Bug Chadwick is being ferriled with a hard wood ruler with 2 hairs in the pam of there hand to splitt the old ruler into fraggments whitch i have never seen did yet in this life or licked sumwhere else whare nuthing will do enny good xcept a peace of paistboard or the Exeter Newsleter in the set of their britches, or Pop Clark is maid to eat a apple before the hoal school as fast as he can with rot and wirm holes and wirms and the stem and seeds and the coar or Skinny Bruce is being snaiked over 2 seets and put in the woodbox with the cuvver down because Gim Erly whitch sits behine Skinny put a pin in the toe of his shue and reeched over and kicked Tady Finton whitch sits in front of Skinny and old Francis wont believe Skinny but licks him onct for doing it and twict for liing about it whitch he says is twict as wirse as doing it, or Fatty Gilman is down on all foars and howling while old Francis lams him with the haff of the broom stick he stirs the fire with while Fatty is triing hard to crawl throug a chair whitch he cant do enny moar than the cammel cood crawl throug the ey of the needle in the bible.