Chapter I: Front Matter

Transcriber's Note:

Inconsistent hyphenation and spelling in the original document have
been preserved. Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.

The book uses both "Doc." and "Doc".

Italic text is denoted by _underscores_.

EXCUSE ME!

EXCUSE ME!

_By_ RUPERT HUGHES
Author of "The Old Nest"

WITH FIVE ILLUSTRATIONS

A. L. BURT COMPANY
PUBLISHERS NEW YORK

Copyright, 1911, by
THE H. K. FLY COMPANY

CONTENTS

CHAPTER PAGE

I. The Wreck of the Taxicab 9

II. The Early Birds and the Worm 16

III. In Darkest Chicago 26

IV. A Mouse and a Mountain 35

V. A Queen Among Women 47

VI. A Conspiracy in Satin 53

VII. The Masked Minister 60

VIII. A Mixed Pickle 65

IX. All Aboard! 75

X. Excess Baggage 84

XI. A Chance Rencounter 88

XII. The Needle in the Haystack 92

XIII. Hostilities Begin 99

XIV. The Dormitory on Wheels 103

XV. A Premature Divorce 106

XVI. Good Night, All! 115

XVII. Last Call for Breakfast 122

XVIII. In the Composite Car 128

XIX. Foiled! 139

XX. Foiled Again! 142

XXI. Matrimony To and Fro 147

XXII. In the Smoking Room 156

XXIII Through a Tunnel 164

XXIV. The Train Butcher 173

XXV. The Train Wrecker 180

XXVI. Delilah and the Conductor 186

XXVII. The Dog-on Dog Again 191

XXVIII. The Woman-Hater's Relapse 203

XXIX. Jealousy Comes Aboard 213

XXX. A Wedding on Wheels 222

XXXI. Foiled Yet Again 227

XXXII. The Empty Berth 233

XXXIII. Fresh Trouble Daily 237

XXXIV. The Complete Divorcer 252

XXXV. Mr. and Mrs. Little Jimmie 266

XXXVI. A Duel for a Bracelet 273

XXXVII. Down Brakes! 278

XXXVIII. Hands Up! 284

XXXIX. Wolves in the Fold 296

XL. A Hero in Spite of Himself 304

XLI. Clickety-Clickety-Clickety 308

ILLUSTRATIONS

No tips were to be expected from such
transients _Frontispiece_

PAGE

"Now it's my vacation, and I'm going to smoke
up" 62

Marjorie fairly forced the dog on him 94

Down upon the unsuspecting elopers came this
miraculous cloudburst of ironical rice 118

"Why, Richard--Chauncey!--er--Billy! I'm
amazed at you! Let go, or I'll scream!" 276

EXCUSE ME!