Chapter II: Preface

_Before I set about the overhauling of my notes made on this tour--afoot, afloat, awheel--from London to Land’s End, I confided to an old friend my intention of publishing an account of these wanderings. Now, no one has such a mean idea of one’s capacities as an old friend, and so I was by no means surprised when he flouted my project. I have known the man for many years; and as the depth of an old friend’s scorn deepens with time, you may guess how profound by now is his distrust of my powers._

_“Better hadn’t,” said he._

_“And why not?” said I._

_“See how often it has been done,” he replied. “Why should you do it again, after Elihu Burritt, after Walter White, and L’Estrange, and those others who have wearied us so often with their dull records of uneventful days?”_

_“I do it,” I said, “for the reason that poets write poetry, because I must. Out upon your Burritts and the rest of them; I don’t know them, and don’t want to--yet. When the book is finished, then they shall be looked up for the sake of comparison; at present, I keep an open mind on the subject.”_

_And I kept it until to-day. I have just returned from a day with these authors at the British Museum, and I feel weary. Probably most of them are dead by this time, as dead as their books, and nothing I say now can do them any harm; so let me speak my mind._

_First I dipped into the pages of that solemn Yankee prig, Burritt, and presently became bogged in stodgy descriptions of agriculture, and long-drawn parallels between English and American husbandry. Stumbling out of these sloughs, one comes headlong upon that true republican’s awkward raptures over titled aristocracy. The rest is all a welter of cheap facts and interjectional essays in the obvious._

_Then I essayed upon Walter White’s_ “Londoners Walk to the Land’s End”--_horribly informative, and with an appalling poverty of epithet. This dreadful tourist was used (he says) to sing and recite to the rustics whom he met._

_“’Tis a dry day, master,” say the thirsty countrymen to him; while he, heedless of their artful formula, calls not for the flowing bowl, but strikes an attitude, and recites to them a ballad of Macaulay’s!_

_And yet those poor men, robbed of their beer, applauded (says our author), and, like Oliver Twist, asked for more._

_Then an American coach-party had driven over part of our route, following the example of_ “An American Four-in-Hand in Britain,” _by Citizen Carnegie. Indeed, we easily recognise the Citizen again, under the name of Mæcenas, among this party, which produced the_ “Chronicle of the Coach.”

_The same Americanese pervades both books; the same patronage of John Bull, and the same laudation of those States, is common to them; but for choice, the Citizen’s own book is in the viler taste. Both jig through their pages to an abominable “charivari” of their own composing, an amalgam of_ “Yankee Doodle” _and the_ “Marseillaise,” _one with (renegade Scot!) a bagpipe “obbligato.”_

_They anticipate the time when we shall be blessed with a Republic after the model of their own adopted country; the Citizen (I think) commonly wears a cap of liberty for headgear, and a Stars and Stripes for shirt. This last may possibly be an error of mine. But at any rate I should like to see him tucking in the tails of such a star-spangled banner._

_These were the works which were to forbid a newer effort at a book aiming at the same destination, but proceeding by an independent route, and (as it chanced) written upon different lines--written with what I take to be a care rather for personal impressions than for guide-book history._

_We won to the West by no known route, but followed the inclinations of irresponsible tourists, with a strong disinclination for martyrdom on dusty highways and in uninteresting places. This, too, is explanatory of our taking the train at certain points and our long lingering at others. If, unwittingly or by intent, I have here or there in these pages dropped into history, I beg your pardon, I’m sure; for all I intended was to show you personal impressions in two media, pictures and prose._

CHARLES G. HARPER.

LONDON, _October 1893_.

CONTENTS

I.
PAGES
Leaving London--The Spirit of the Silly Season--An Unimportant
Residuum--The Direct Road--And the Indirect--To Richmond
by Boat 1–5

II.

Radical Richmond and its Royal Memories--The Poets’ Chorus--The
Social Degradation implied by Tea and Shrimps--No Water at
Richmond 6–9

III.

Rural Petersham--The Monuments of Petersham Church--Ham House--
Beer, Beauty, and the Peerage--The Earls of Dysart and
their Curious Preferment--Village Hampdens and Litigation--
Ham and the Cabal--Horace Walpole and his Trumpery
Ghosts--Kingston--The Dusty Pother anent Coway Stakes--
The Author “drops the Subject”--The King’s Stone--The
Reader is referred to the Surrey Archæological Society, and
the Tourists pursue their Journey--The Philosophy of the
Thames--To Shepperton 9–17

IV.

Windsor and Eton--The Terrific Keate--Persuasions of Sorts--
Bray and its Most Admirable Vicar--Taplow Bridge--Boulter’s
Lock--Cookham 17–23

V.

An Indignant Man--Advantages of Indignation and a Furious
Manner--_Al fresco_ Meals--Medmenham Abbey--Those unkind
Topographers--The Hell Fire Club--From Hambledon to Henley
23–28

VI.

Regatta Island--Its Shoddy Temple--The Preposterous Naiads and
River Nymphs of the Eighteenth Century Poets--Those Improper
Creatures _v._ County Councils--A Poignant Individual--Mary
Blandy, the Slow Poisoner 28–33

VII.

Picturesque Wargrave--The Loddon River and Patricksbourne--
Sonning--A Typical Riverside Inn--Filthy Kennet Side--
Reading to Basingstoke 33–35

VIII.

Hampshire Characteristics--White of Selborne as a Vandal--Holy
Ghost Chapel 35–38

IX.

A Dreary Road--Micheldever--Hampshire Literary Lights--The
Worthies--“Johēs Kent de Redying” 38–41

X.

Winchester--The City Lamps--The Cathedral--Saint Swithun
41–48

XI.

Wykeham--The Renaissance in the Cathedral--The Puritans--
Winchester Castles, Royal and Episcopal--A Graceless
Corporation--The Military--Saint Catherine’s Hill 48–55

XII.

A Literary Transfiguration--Wyke--An Unique Brass--The
Romance of Lainston--Sparsholt 56–59

XIII.

A Rustic Symposium 60–64

XIV.

Camping-out of Necessity--The Tramp _en amateur_--Soapless
Britons--The Livelong Day 64–65

XV.

Restoration at Romsey--Prout justified--An Unsportsmanlike
Palmerston 66–68

XVI.

The New Forest--The Woodman’s Axe--The coming Social Storm--
Lyndhurst--Brockenhurst--Avon Water 68–74

XVII.

A Superior Pedestrian--Christchurch--An Enigmatical Epitaph
74–76

XVIII.

Bournemouth--The Interesting Invalid--Languorous Romances--
Bournemouth, the Paradise of the Unbeneficed 76–79

XIX.

Our Encounter with an American 79–81

XX.

By the Sea to North Haven--Studland--Our Coldest Welcome at an
Inn--To Swanage 82–83

XXI.

The Isle of Purbeck--Purbeck Marble--Domesticated Swanage--The
Rush for Ground-rents 83–86

XXII.

Corfe--Corfe Castle--Those Ubiquitous Roundheads 86–88

XXIII.

Lulworth Castle--The Dorset Coast--Osmington 88–90

XXIV.

Weymouth and George the Third--An Old-time Jubilee--A Gorgeous
Individual--Railways and Derivatives--Hotel Snobbery 91–93

XXV.

Abbotsbury--The Abbey Ruins--Saint Catherine’s Chapel--
Historic Wessex--The Chesil Beach--West Bay, Bridport--A
Hilly Country 93–97

XXVI.

Chideock--One who fared at Dead of Night--Early Rising 97–99

XXVII.

Charmouth--Concerning Rainy Days by the Sounding Sea--The Devon
Borders--A Humorous Wheelman 99–101

XXVIII.

Axminster--The Battle of Brunenburgh--The “Book of
Remembrance”--Axminster Carpets 102–104

XXIX.

Drakes of Ashe--Axmouth--The Fearful Joys of the Day-tripper--
Seaton 105–107

XXX.

Exeter, a Busy City--Richard the Third--A Chivalric Myth--
Northernhay--The Cathedral: Black but Comely--St. Mary
Steps 108–111

XXXI.

The Suburb of Saint Thomas--Alphington--Exminster 112–116

XXXII.

A Grotesque Saint--The Pious Editor 116–118

XXXIII.

Beside the Exe to Powderham--The Courtenays--The Atmospheric
Railway 118–120

XXXIV.

Starcross and its Aspirations--The Warren--Langstone Point--
Mount Pleasant--The Limitations of Dawlish 120–124

XXXV.

The Legend of the Parson and Clerk 124–127

XXXVI.

Teignmouth--The Sad Tale of the Market House--Doleful
Ratepayers--Teignmouth Harbour--Devon Weather--Society--
To Shaldon 127–133

XXXVII.

The (more or less) True Story of an Artist--Labrador
Tea-gardens--Peripatetic Organ-grinders--The Author’s
Indignation moves him poetically--And he reflects upon
Comic Songs 133–137

XXXVIII.

Devon Combes--Maidencombe--Where the Devil died of the Cold--
Who was Anstey, of Anstey’s Cove?--“Thomas” of Anstey’s 137–140

XXXIX.

Torquay--Still growing--The Witchery of Tor Bay Scenery--
Charter Day--Napoleon on board the “Billy Ruffian” 140–144

XL.

Teutonic Paignton--Thoughts on German Bands--The Present
Author loves a Comely Falsehood, but destroys a Lying
Tradition-- Berry Pomeroy and the Seymours 144–149

XLI.

Totnes--Brutus the Trojan--“Oliver, by the Grace of God”--To
Dartmouth 149–153

XLII.

Down the Dart--Nautical Terms 153–154

XLIII.

Dartmouth--Castles of Dartmouth and Kingswear--Fighting the
Foreigner--An Unrestored Church--Paternal Government 154–159

XLIV.

Dittisham and the Dart--Tea at Dittisham, and so “Home” 159–162

XLV.

Stoke Fleming--A Country Coach--Slapton Sands--To Kingsbridge 163–165

XLVI.

Kingsbridge--Its one Literary Celebrity--“Peter Pindar” upon
his Barn--Kingsbridge Grammar School 165–171

XLVII.

Salcombe River--Voyage to Salcombe--Hotel hunting--Salcombe
Shops--The Castle 171–176

XLVIII.

Voyage to Plymouth--The Tourists are Extremely Ill--Land at
last--The Hoe and its Memorials--Politics and Patriotism--
The Hamoaze--Saltash 176–183

XLIX.

An Old Author on the Characteristics of Cornwall--Saint
Budeaux--The Three Towns--Stained Glass extraordinary 184–187

L.

Antony--Richard Carew: a Seventeenth Century Poet--The
Tourists are entreated despitefully, and quarrel 187–190

LI.

Carew’s Epitaph at Antony--Downderry 191–192

LII.

A Lovely Valley, a Moorland Stream, and what befell there 193–195

LIII.

Looe--Stage-like Picturesqueness--Hotel Visitors’ Books 195–201

LIV.

Talland--Humorous Memorials of the Dead--Epitaph on a
Smuggler--“John Bevyll of Kyllygath”--A Notable
Devil-queller 201–207

LV.

The Road to Polperro--The “Three Pilchards” Inn--Saturday Night
at Polperro--John Wesley’s Experiences of that Place 207–213

LVI.

Lanteglos-juxta-Fowey--A Cornish Cross--Polruan--Again the
Comic Song!--Fowey--Tourists’ Lumber 214–218

LVII.

Par: a Cornish Seaport 219–220

LVIII.

An Old-time Adventure--Deserted Mining Fields--Saint Austell 220–225

LIX.

By Carrier’s Cart to Mevagissey--John Taylor, the “Water
Poet,” on his Adventure there--Exceptional Britons 225–228

LX.

Mevagissey--Gorran Haven--The Inhospitable Hamlet of Saint
Michael Caerhayes--In the Dark to Veryan--Hospitality of
the Village Inn 228–234

LXI.

Treworlas--Philleigh by the Fal--Truro City--Truro Cathedral
234–239

LXII.

A “Lift” to Redruth--Local Tales--Saint Day--Redruth--The
Tourists are taken for “Hactors,” and are sorrowfully
obliged to disclaim the Honour 239–242

LXIII.

A Rainy Day--Available Literature of the Hotel--The
Cornishman and the Church--Cornish Livings 242–245

LXIV.

Cam Brea--The Disillusionments of Exploration--Pool _v._
Poole--Dolcoath Mine--Squalid Camborne 246–249

LXV.

The Hamlet of Barrepper--Cornish Names--Marazion 249–252

LXVI.

Alverton--Mount’s Bay--Penzance--German Band-itti--Pellew’s
Birthplace--Saint Michael’s Mount, and the Loyal Saint
Aubyns--The Newlyn School--Bridges, Potsherds, and Old
Boots 252–262

LXVII.

To Land’s End--Saint Buryan--The First and Last House in
England 262–268

LXVIII.

Home again 268–269

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

“GREAT SHIPS LAY ANCHORED” _Frontispiece_

VIGNETTE _Title-page_

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