Chapter II: Part 2

_Uncle (who is rather proud of his cellar)._ "NOW, GEORGE, MY BOY, THERE'S A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE FOR YOU--DON'T GET SUCH STUFF AT SCHOOL, EH? EH? EH?"

_George._ "H'M--AWFULLY SWEET! VERY GOOD SORT FOR LADIES--BUT I'VE ARRIVED AT A TIME OF LIFE, WHEN I CONFESS I LIKE MY WINE _DRY_!" (_Sensation._)]

HUNTING UNDER DIFFICULTIES.--A MOUNT IN THE MIDLANDS.]

_Fare (who has driven rather a hard bargain and is settling)._ "BUT WHY, MY GOOD MAN, DO YOU PUT THAT CLOTH OVER THE HORSE'S HEAD?"

_Car-Driver._ "SHURE, YER HONOUR, THIN--I SHOULDN'T LIKE HIM TO SEE HOW LITTLE YE PAY FOR SUCH A HARD DAYS WOR-RK!"]

_Brown (excited)._ "HI, JONES!--NET! NET! NET!--MAKE HASTE, OR I SHALL LOSE HIM!"

_Jones (who is rather giddy and nervous)._ "EH!--AH!--RIGHT!--TO BE SURE!--YES!--I--I--I--I'M COMING--AS FAST--AS--OH DEAR!--AS POSSIBLE!"]

_Old Wurzel._ "WELL, MUSTER CHAWLES, SO YOU'VE BEEN A RIDING THE YOUNG UN.--HOW DOES HE GO?"

_Muster Chawles._ "OH, SPLENDID! NEVER CARRIED BETTER IN MY LIFE! IT WAS HIS FIRST RUN, AND WE ONLY CAME DOWN FIVE TIMES!"]

PATERFAMILIAS, WITH HIS USUAL PRUDENCE AND FORESIGHT, ORDERS A QUANTITY OF BEER OF THE OCTOBER BREWING. HE HAS JUST BEEN INFORMED THAT ALL THE BARRELS ARE "A-WORKIN' AND A-BUSTIN'!"]

_Butcher Boy (and Butcher Boys are so impudent)._ "NOW THEN, SWIPEY! ARE YOU GOING TO STOP THERE TILL YOU GET _FINE_, AFORE YOU _DRAW YOURSELF OFF_?"]

_Flora._ "THERE! I DON'T THINK THE STUPID MEN CAN LAUGH AT US NOW!"]

_Georgina._ "DO YOU KNOW, DEAR, I'M SO UNHAPPY NOW DEAR CHARLES HAS GONE!"

_Gertrude._ "AND I MISS DEAR PERCY DREADFULLY--I DO HOPE THEY'LL GET HOME SAFELY!"]

_Customer._ "WHY, YOU DON'T CALL _THAT_ A HUNTER, DO YOU?"

_Dealer._ "WELL, SIR, I'LL TELL YOU ALL I KNOW ABOUT THE 'ORSE. HAD HIM DOWN FROM 'ORNCASTLE FAIR LAST WEEK--PUT JIMMY ON HIM, WOULDN'T 'ACK A YARD--PUT HIM IN THE BREAK, WOULDN'T DRAW A BOUNCE. NOW, THE 'ORSE NEVER COULD HAVE BEEN CREATED FOR NOTHING; SO HE MUST BE A HUNTER!"]

_Itinerant Oyster Man._ "NOW, THEN--HAVE ANOTHER DOZEN, IF YOU'VE GOT ANY MORE MONEY!!"]

_Testy Old Gent (to Butler)._ "CLARET! YES! PUT IT DOWN; AND PRAY, SIMPSON, DON'T BLOW UPON MY HEAD SO."]

AS SLEEP IS OUT OF THE QUESTION, OWING TO THOSE CONFOUNDED WAITS, MR. BANGS, LIKE A SENSIBLE PERSON, ACCOMMODATES HIMSELF TO CIRCUMSTANCES, AND PRACTISES HIS DANCING!]

_Guard._ "NOW, MISS! ARE YOU GOING BY THIS TRAIN?"

_Miss Rebecca._ "YES! BUT I MUST HAVE A CARRIAGE WHERE THERE ARE NO YOUNG MEN LIKELY TO BE RUDE TO ONE."]

_First Street Boy (without veneration, or sense of propriety)._ "HOLLA! BILL! WHAT'S ALL THIS 'ERE?"

_Second Street Boy (without ditto, ditto, ditto)._ "WHY--DON'T YER SEE?--IT'S ONLY A KITTEN GOING TO BE 'UNG!"]

_Darling (in straw hat)._ "WHAT ARE YOU BUYING, DEAR?"

_Darling (in black hat)._ "WHY, I'M BUYING A _PUNCH_. THE IMPUDENT THING HAS PUT ME IN AS ONE OF HIS GIRLS!"]

_Housemaid._ "OH--BUT IT COULDN'T A BIN 'ER!"

_Cook._ "I TELL YER IT WERE--SHE CALLED UPON MISSUS THIS MORNING, AND SHE 'AD ON A PORK PIE 'AT, AND HALF A PHEASANT STUCK IN IT!"]

_Impertinent Page (late from the dining-room)._ "I SAY, COOKEY AND SOOSAN, YOU MAKE A PRECIOUS FUSS ABOUT A FLEA,--HOW'D YER LIKE TO BE WHERE THE BLACK SEA SAILORS IS NOW?"

_Susan._ "WHERE'S THAT, IMPERANCE?"

_Page._ "WHY, MASTER SAYS IT'S WHERE THE BUG AND THE NIPPER (DNIEPER) MEET IN ONE BED!"

(_Sensation and loud cries of "Oh!"_)]

_Fair Equestrian._ "NOW, DON'T BE A CROSS OLD PUNCH; WE REALLY WON'T SPOIL THE BEAUTY OF THE GARDENS."]

ILL! OH, DEAR NO! ONLY INDISPOSED--TO WALK.]

_Clara._ "HOW DO YOU LIKE MY NEW WAISTCOAT, DEAR?"

_Harriette._ "WELL, I DECLARE IT'S SWEETLY PRETTY!--THE MOST--A--A--THE MOST SLAP UP THING I'VE SEEN FOR A LONG TIME."]

_Mild Youth._ "HAVE YOU SEEN 'THE COLLEEN BAWN'?"

_Horrid Girl (with extreme velocity)._ "SEEN 'THE COLLEEN BAWN'! DEAR, DEAR! YES, OF COURSE. SAW IT LAST OCTOBER! AND I'VE BEEN TO THE CRYSTAL PALACE, AND I'VE READ THE GORILLA BOOK!"

(_Mild Youth is shut up._)]

_Mamma and Aunt Ellen (to Old Woman)._ "PRAY, HAVE YOU MET TWO LADIES AND A GENTLEMAN?"

_Old Woman._ "WELL, I MET THREE PEOPLE--BUT, LA! THERE, I CAN'T TELL LADIES FROM GENTLEMEN NOW-A-DAYS--WHEN I WAS A GAL," &c. &c.]

_Bumpkin, No. 1._ "WA-AT--ARE THEY A-GWOANG TO JOOMP THIS?"

_Bumpkin, No. 2._ "YA-AS!"

_Bumpkin, No. 1._ "THEN, I'D RAYTHER WALK THREW!"]

_Old Party (in Hansom)._ "HERE! HOLLO! HI! WHAT ARE YOU DRIVING LIKE THAT, FOR? STOP! LET ME OUT!"

_Cabby._ "ALL RIGHT, SIR! I'LL STOP 'IM DIRECTLY, SIR--I _DRUV_ A FIRE-ENGINE FOR TWO YEAR!!"]

_Cook._ "DO YOU CALL THIS CREAM? WHY IT'S THINNER THAN MILK!"

_Milkman._ "OH, ALL IT WANTS IS WELL STIRRING UP--THE CREAM'S AT THE BOTTOM!!"]

_Railway Porter (reflectively)._ "EARLY TRAIN! LET'S SEE! LITTLE BAY 'OSS, AND A BROWN 'OSS WITH A BIG KNEE? HAH! THEN YOU MAY DEPEND THEY'RE THE 'OSSES AS WENT ON TO YORK!"]

THE FEROCIOUS PHEASANTS THINK THEY ARE GOING TO BE FED, AND SURROUND THE HONOURABLE MR. BATTUE ACCORDINGLY.]

_Boy._ "NOW, MISSUS, THERE'S NO BUSSES, KITCH 'OLD OF MY HARM, AND I'LL TAKE YER OVER!"]

_Friend (to Novice at Salmon fishing)._ "I SAY, OLD BOY, MIND HOW YOU WADE; THERE ARE SOME TREMENDOUS HOLES, FOURTEEN OR FIFTEEN FEET DEEP."]

_Old--what shall we call her?_--"RUN, ROBERT! RUN! THERE'S THAT DARLING PLAYING WITH A STRANGE CHILD!"]

_Augustus._ "I SAY, LAURA, JUST TELL US BEFORE ANY ONE COMES, WHETHER MY BACK HAIR'S PARTED STRAIGHT!"]

_Clara (reads)._ "EXCUSE, DEAREST, THE PAPER ON WHICH I WRITE--I HAVE NOT MY DESK WITH ME, SO I SEND YOU THESE FEW HURRIED LINES ON ONE OF MY COLLARS."]

_Wife._ "CHARLES, DEAR. THERE'S A PERSON AT THE DOOR WANTS TO KNOW WHETHER YOU WANT ANY ORNAMENT FOR YOUR FIREPLACE."

_Charles._ "MY DARLING! WHAT BETTER ORNAMENT CAN I HAVE THAN YOUR OWN SWEET SELF?"

(_The wretch is going to dine at Greenwich with some bachelor friends,
for all that._)]

_Vision of the Night._ "ANY FRESH PRAWNS THIS MARNIN?"]

_Mary (maliciously, to her Cousin on leave)._ "HENRY, DEAR! HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ORDER ABOUT REDUCING THE OFFICERS' WHISKERS AT ALDERSHOT? WHAT A SHAME! I'M SURE IF I WERE YOU I SHOULD RESIST IT!"

(_Haw_--HENRY _doesn't see the point._)]

_Master Harry (loq.)._ "QUICK THING, THAT! DID YOU FELLOWS SEE IT? I GOT POUNDED!"]

_Novice._ "OH, YES--HE'S A FINE HORSE; BUT ISN'T HE RATHER BENT ABOUT THE LEGS?"

_Dealer._ "BENT ABOUT THE LEGS? STANDS A LITTLE OVER, P'RAPS--BUT THAT AIN'T NO DETTERMENT TO HIM. THE BEST OF OSSES IS SOMETIMES FOALED SO!"]

OLD MR. WIGGLES TRIES HIS NEW SEWING-MACHINE, AND FINDS HIS GARMENTS THROW OUT BUTTONS IN A VERY INDISCRIMINATE MANNER.]

THE HOUR BEFORE DINNER--NOT THE WORST PART OF A DAY'S HUNTING.]

DELIGHT OF THE HON. TOM RASPER (WHO HAS PROMISED HIMSELF A DAY WITH THE PYTCHLEY), ON FINDING THAT THE BOX WITH HIS HUNTER HAS BEEN LEFT AT GOWLEIGH STATION, WHILE A FINE YOUNG BULL, INTENDED FOR THAT PLACE, HAS BEEN BROUGHT ON TO--HARBOROUGH, SHALL WE SAY?]

_Groom._ "YE SEE, SIR! THE LADIES KNOCKS 'OSSES ABOUT SO! THEY GETS UPON A 'OSS, SIR, AND THEY SAYS, 'MY EYES! HE'S A 'OSS, AND HE MUST GO!'"]

_Cabby (to impudent Boy at Gate)._ "AH! YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN A SAUCY YOUNG DOG; BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE DONE AWAY WITH, THAT'S ONE COMFORT--AND YOU CAN'T GROW INTO A TURNPIKE _MAN_!"]

_Rude Boy._ "OH, IF 'ERE AIN'T A GAL BEEN AND PUT ON A DUSTMAN'S 'AT!"]

"COME ALONG, JACK, MY HEARTY; NOTHING LIKE LAYING UP FOR A RAINY DAY."]

_Volunteer._ "I SAY, LUCY, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE VIV_AN_DIERES IN OUR CORPS. NOW, IF YOU LIKE, I'LL APPOINT YOU TO ATTEND UPON ME!"]

_Col._ "NO, SIR! YOU CAN'T HAVE FOUR IN YOUR HUT!--WHIST, INDEED!"

_Lieut._ "VERY HARD! THEN, WE MUST PLAY DUMMY!"]

_Excited but rather behind-hand Party._ "NOW, THEN, MY MAN, HAVE YOU SEEN 'EM? WHICH WAY HAVE THEY GONE?"

_Man._ "ALL RIGHT, SIR. THEY'RE DOWN 'ERE; FOX AN' 'OUNDS IS JUST RUN INTO _TH' INFANT SCHOOL_!"]

WHATEVER MAY BE A FRENCHMAN'S DEFECTS, HE AT LEAST KNOWS HOW TO DRESS--AND ISN'T THE HAT HE WEARS A SWEET THING?]

"THE POLICE HAVE STRICT ORDERS TO BONNET, PUT IN A SACK, AND LOCK UP ALL URCHINS WHO DISTURB THE PEACE OF THE METROPOLIS BY SCREAMING OUT 'DIXIES' LAND.'"]

_Cabby._ "WELL! WE AIN'T ALLOWED TO _SAY_ MUCH, BUT I'M _THINKING_ A DOOSE OF A LOT!"]

_Gent._ "OH, AH! AND WHAT DO YOU FEED THE HORSES ON?"

_Driver._ "BUTTER-TUBS--DON'T YER SEE THE HOOPS?"]

_Gent (in Photographic Studio)._ "A--LOOK 'ERE, YOU KNOW, MISTER, I DON'T WANT MY CART PUBLISHED, YOU KNOW, BUT IF ANY NICE GAL OR LADY OF RANK SHOULD WANT A COPY, WHY, YOU CAN SELL IT HER, YOU KNOW!"]

_Monthly Nurse._ "BUT I CAN'T FIND MY BOX, SIR!"

_Paterfamilias (furious)._ "CONFOUND YOUR BOX! YOU MUST GET IN AND LEAVE IT, AND WE'LL TELEGRAPH FOR IT.--COME! THE TRAIN'S STARTING!"

_Monthly Nurse._ "OH YES, SIR, THAT'S ALL VERY WELL. ONLY I THOUGHT AS MY BOX HAS GOT ALL YOUR PLATE AND LINEN IN IT," &C., &C., &C.]

_Economical Peer (with feeling)._ "GOOD GRACIOUS, THOMPSON! HAVEN'T YOU MEN GOT AN UMBRELLA OUTSIDE?"

_Thompson._ "NO, MY LORD!"

_Peer._ "DEAR! DEAR! DEAR!--THEN GIVE ME THOSE NEW HATS INSIDE!"]

PROPOSED NEW UNIFORM FOR THE POLICE.]

_Country Friend (apropos of Cockney Ditto)._ "UPON MY WORD, THOMAS, IF I THOUGHT HE HAD BEEN SO DANGEROUS, I WOULDN'T HAVE BROUGHT HIM OUT."

_Keeper._ "WELL, HE DU SHOOT A LEETLE WILD, SIR--BUT IT AIN'T O' MUCH CONSEQUENCE--I LOAD FOR UN--AND I DON'T PUT NO SHOT IN!"]

_Master G. O'Rilla._ "DEAW! HOW SHOCKING! THERE'S ANOTHER GOOD FELLAH DONE FOR!"

_Cousins._ "WHY, WHAT HAS HAPPENED, GUS?"

_Gus._ "HAPPENED! WHY, CHARLEY BAGSHOT _GONE MARRIED_!"]

_Voices in the Wood._ "NOW THEN, GET ON IN FRONT!"]

THE LADY HONORIA D----, AS SHE APPEARED TAKING LEAVE OF HER MAMMA, PREVIOUS TO GOING INTO ACTION!

THE LADY HONORIA AS SHE APPEARED WHEN THE ENGAGEMENT WAS OVER!]

WITH A PARDONABLE VANITY, TOMKINS, WHO HAS JUST JOINED HIS RIFLE CORPS, INVITES ARABELLA (TO WHOM HE IS ENGAGED) AND HER SISTER TO SEE HIM DRILLED. EVERYTHING MUST HAVE A BEGINNING, AND HE IS PUT THROUGH THE "GOOSE STEP" BEFORE THE NOT-ADMIRING EYES OF HIS DARLING!]

_Small Swell._ "MOST 'BSURD ROW THEY'RE KICKING UP ABOUT EQUESTRIANS IN KENSINGTON GARDENS! WHY THEY OUGHT TO BE DEUCED GLAD OF ANYTHING THAT ADDS TO THE BEAUTY OF THE PLACE--MY 'PINION."]

_Englishman (to Fair New-Yorker)._ "MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF DANCING WITH YOU!"

_Darling._ "I GUESS YOU MAY--FOR I CALC'LATE THAT IF I SIT MUCH LONGER HERE, _I SHALL BE TAKING ROOT_!"]

_Coster (with hideous yell)_. "YA! HO!--CAULIFLOWERS--HO!"]

_AND_

_Coster (blandly and politely)._ "CAULIFLOWER, MA'AM. YES, MA'AM! IS THERE ANY OTHER ARTICLE?"]

"LAW! CHARLES! ISN'T THERE A GREAT BLACK ON MY NOSE?"]

FEARFUL POSITION OF AN OLD LADY FROM THE COUNTRY, WHOM LOW IMPUDENT LITTLE BOYS WILL TUMBLE BEFORE ALL THE WAY FROM THE STRAND TO THE CRYSTAL PALACE.]

"COME, TOMPKINS, YOU'VE BEEN TITTUPPING UP AND DOWN THE PARADE FOR THE LAST HOUR AND FORTY MINUTES. IF YOU'RE GOING OUT HUNTING, YOU HAD BETTER GO."]

_Frank (to Captain Brother, poking him in the ribs with a cue)._ "OH, COME, TOM, THAT WAS A FLUKE--A BEASTLY FLUKE!"

(_N.B. The Captain having scored very neatly._)]

_Lady._ "INDEED, SMITH, I CANNOT BEAR THE LAUGHING AND NOISE DOWNSTAIRS--IT IS QUITE INTOLERABLE!"

_Cook._ "WELL, MAM! SOMETHING MUST BE DONE TO DEADEN THE SOUND; FOR THE NOISE UP-STAIRS IS EQUALLY ANNOYING TO HUS!"]

_Stout Equestrian._ "DO YOU KNOW, LOVE, I'M RATHER SORRY I GOT THIS HAT; FOR SUPPOSE I SHOULD BE TAKEN FOR A PRETTY HORSEBREAKER!"]

_Piscator._ "NOW THEN! I THINK I SHALL GET A _RISE_ HERE!"]

_Mrs. T. (to T., who has been reading the popular novel)._ "PRAY, MR. TOMKINS, ARE YOU NEVER COMING UP-STAIRS? HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GOING TO SIT UP WITH THAT 'WOMAN IN WHITE'?"]

_Noble Swell (in scarlet)._ "HARK! BY JOVE, THAT'S A FIND!"

_Party (in black)._ "'COURSE IT IS, MY LORD! JUST THE WAY WITH THEM 'OUNDS. DRAW--DRAW--DRAW--ALL THE MORNING, AND THEN DROP ON A FOX JUST AS VUN'S 'AVIN' VUN'S LUNCH!"]

YOUNG NIMROD AS HE APPEARED BEFORE THE FROST--PERFECTLY DISENGAGED!]

YOUNG DITTO, AFTER FOUR WEEKS' FROST IN A COUNTRY HOUSE--MOST PARTICULARLY ENGAGED!]

_Mrs. T._ "WHAT A WRETCH YOU MUST BE, T.! WHY DON'T YOU TAKE ME OFF? DON'T YOU SEE I'M OVERTOOK WITH THE TIDE, AND I SHALL BE DROWNDED!"

_T._ "WELL, THEN--WILL YOU PROMISE NOT TO KICK UP SUCH A ROW WHEN I STOP OUT LATE OF A SATURDAY?"]

_Emily._ "DO LOOK HERE, ARTHUR DEAR--SUCH A LOVELY VIEW, AND SOME MORE SUCH BEAUTIFUL CASTLES!" (_Arthur gives a prolonged grunt and snore._)]

_Augustus._ "HAW! NEAT STYLE OF COB THAT, CHARLES!"

_Charles._ "YAAS! SEVERE AIN'T IT? YOU SEE I'M WEADING FOR EXAMINATION. A'VE GOT A DOOCED GOOD COACH, AND WITH CLASSICAL PONY THINK A SHALL PULL THROUGH!"]

_Leonora._ "DEAR, DEAR! HOW THE ARROW STICKS!"

_Captain Blank (with a sigh of the deepest)._ "IT DOES, INDEED!"]

_Lady (looking at her watch)._ "DEAR ME, I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS SO LATE. I THINK, PERHAPS, PARKER, YOU HAD BETTER GO AND DRESS THE YOUNG LADIES' HAIR."

_Parker._ "OH, MAM, I DID THAT THIS MORNING, AND IT'S ON THE DRESSING-TABLE READY TO BE PINNED ON!"]

_Hard-riding Young Lady._ "CUT MISS GEORGINA DOWN THAT TIME, I FANCY, AND HAVE GOT INTO THE SAME FIELD WITH GUS!"]

LITTLE TOM NODDY, WHO IS STILL FOND OF HUNTING, HAS A DAY WITH HIS FRIEND HOLLYOAK, WHO NOT ONLY MOUNTS HIM, BUT RIGS HIM UP IN A SUIT OF CLOTHES THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MADE FOR HIM.]

_Emily (sotto voce)._ "MY GOODNESS, EDITH, WHAT SHALL I DO?--MY NOSE ITCHES SO DREADFULLY, AND WE ARE COMING TO THE MOST DIFFICULT PART."]

JONES PREPARES A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR HIS MARY ANN, AND HAS HIS EQUESTRIAN PORTRAIT TAKEN. HE REMARKS, "'ANG IT, YOU KNOW, IF I DO HAVE MY CARTE DONE, I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULDN'T 'AVE MY 'ORSE!"]

THE MODERN GOVERNESS.--A YOUNG LADY'S IDEA OF THE USE OF CRINOLINE.]

DISCOMFITURE OF OLD MR. J--N--S, WHO, ON VISITING A PRIVATE COLLECTION, MISTAKES "PETER," THE GREAT HORNED OWL, FOR A STUFFED CAT.]

_Ramoneur on Donkey._ "FITCH US OUT ANOTHER PEN'NORTH O' STRAWBERRY ICE, WITH A DOLLOP OF LEMON WATER IN IT."]

THE LATEST IMPROVEMENT(?) IN GUARDS' CAPS.]

_Piscator_. "OHO! THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE THE BIG TROUT ARE, IS IT? THEN THIS IS THE SORT OF _FLY_, I THINK!"]

_Mrs. Buncher Greens._ "DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT GOING TO HEPSOM; IT AIN'T A FIT PLACE FOR FEMALES. GIVE ME HASCOT, IN YER OWN CARRIDGE."

_Mr. B. G._ "WELL, I TELL YER WHAT IT IS, SARER--YOU MUST TRIM THE BARRER A BIT, OR YOU'LL NEVER BE IN TIME FOR THE CUP!"]

"HERE, MARIA, HOLD MY CLOAK WHILE I HAVE A FLING WITH STRANGER!"]

WISH EXPRESSED BY LITTLE TOM TIT, AS HE WALKED IN THE TIGHTEST OF BOOTS, ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE STREET.]

_Youth._ "WHAT! NO SMOKING CARRIAGE! WHY, WHAT'S A FELLAH TO DO FOR THREE HOURS?"]

_Papa._ "LUCY! HERE! HERE'S A GATE!"

_Lucy._ "ALL RIGHT, PAPA, DEAR. YOU GO THROUGH THE GATE, I THINK 'CRUSADER' PREFERS THE FENCE."]

_Ferocious Looking Passenger (to Old Gent, who objects to Smoking)._ "THAT'S A PRETTY KNIFE; AIN'T IT? THAT'S THE SORT O' THING WE USE IN CALIFORNIA! JOLLY THING TO STICK INTO A FELLOW, EH?" (OLD GENT _fears his Companion is not "quite right," and changes his Carriage at the next Station_.)]

WHO CAN THEY BE? CAN THEY BE "MOSSOOS" GOING TO MAKE A PROMENADE TO RICHMOND!]

_Dealer (to Nervous Rider)._ "QUIET! THERE NOW! HE'S A COB AS YOU MAY JUST CHUCK YER LEG OVER, AND SPRING A RATTLE, OR FIRE OFF PISTOLS BY THE HOUR TOGETHER, AND HE WON'T TAKE NO NOTICE!"]

GRAND NURSERY STEEPLE-CHACE.--_Steward, Clerk of the Course, &c., &c._, MASTER TOM.]

OUR FRIEND, GRIGGS, RECEIVES A PRESSING INVITATION TO COME OVER AGAIN TO IRELAND DURING THE HUNTING SEASON, AND HAVE A WEEK WITH THE GALWAY BLAZERS!

(MR. B. _says he should like it extremely, as he has never ridden in a
stone-wall country_.)]

(WE CAN ASSURE THE DARLINGS IT BY NO MEANS IMPROVES THEIR DEAR LITTLE ANKLES.)]

_Fox-Hunter._ "THERE, DO YOU SEE THAT FELLOW?--WELL! TO MY CERTAIN KNOWLEDGE, HE HAS DESTROYED TWO FOXES--AND YET HE WALKS ABOUT WITH A HYMN-BOOK UNDER HIS ARM!"]

_Ossy and very talkative Party (who is not going to ride, however)._ "CALL THAT A FENCE! WHY, ME AND MY LITTLE PONY WOULD 'OP OVER IT LIKE A BIRD!"]

(_Passenger in Train, who naturally objects to having a nasty, odoriferous, useless pet dog in the carriage, suggests to the Guard that the animal should be put in the Van._)

_Stupid Old Lady (dashing out of the carriage)._ "DID IT, THEN, A DARLING! A PRETTY SWEET!--DID IT GET INTO A CARRIAGE WITH A BREE-UTE?"]

THIS IS THE EIGHTEENTH OLD FISH-FAG WHO HAS SCREAMED AND SHRIEKED, BUT BY NO MEANS THE LAST WHO WILL SHRIEK AND SCREAM, UNDER POOR OLD MR. TOMKINS'S WINDOW.]

_Young Hopeful (to Old Indian, whose digestion isn't first-rate)._ "I TELL YOU WHAT, UNCLE, I'D RECOMMEND YOU TO GO WITH ME ACROSS COUNTRY THREE TIMES A WEEK. IT WOULD SOON PUT YOU TO-RIGHTS!"]

"THE CHESTNUT HAS SURELY BOLTED, JOE?"

"AY! AY! SIR, HE B'LONGED TO A COSSACK IN THE CRIMEA, AND THERE AIN'T NO HOLDING OF HIM WITH BRITISH CAVALRY IN HIS REAR."]

_First Juvenile._ "MY WORD, FRED! ISN'T BESSIE TRAVERS A STUNNING GIRL?"

_Second Ditto._ "WELL, FOR MY PART, I DON'T CARE MUCH ABOUT CHITS. NOW THE MOTHER'S A FINE WOMAN, IF YOU LIKE. SHE'S MORE IN MY WAY!"]

_Mr. Ochre (through whose frame a thrill of horror is supposed to be passing)._ "UGH! MIND WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT, CHARLEY. MIND MY OPHELIA; MIND MY OPHELIA! YOU'LL KNOCK HER OVER, AND SPOIL ALL HER FOLDS!"]

THIS IS THE WAY THOSE POOR YOUNG SWELLS, HIPPS AND FIPPS, ARE OBLIGED TO GO OUT TO DINNER, IN CONSEQUENCE OF THE SCARCITY OF THE CABS.]

_First Elegant Creature._ "A--DON'T YOU DANCE, CHARLES!"

_Second Ditto, Ditto._ "A--NO--NOT AT PWESENT! I ALWAYS LET THE GIRLS LOOK AND LONG FOR ME FIRST!"]

_Grandpapa._ "BLESS HIS HEART--JUST LIKE ME!--SPARE THE _NIM_ROD--SPOIL THE CHILD, I SAY."]

_Juvenile._ "WHY DO THEY CALL THOSE THINGS COUSIN CHARLES SMOKES CIGARETTES? EH, POLLY?"

_Polly._ "WELL, DEAR; BECAUSE THEY ARE LITTLE CIGARS, I SUPPOSE!"

_Juvenile._ "OH THEN, WOULD COUSIN CHARLES BE CALLED A CAPTAINETTE, BECAUSE HE'S A LITTLE CAPTAIN?"

(JONES, _who is a Volunteer, but is six feet high, twirls his
moustachios with mild complacency._)]

HARRY BULLFINCHER, WHO IS EVER SO MUCH BETTER ACROSS COUNTRY THAN WHEN HE MIXES IN THE MERRY DANCE (ESPECIALLY AFTER SUPPER) HAS COME TO GRIEF OVER A STOOL DURING A POLKA, AND IS SHOUTING FOR SOME ONE TO "_CATCH HIS HORSE!_"]

_Enthusiastic Nimrod._ "THERE'S ANOTHER THING TOO ABOUT FOX-HUNTING WHICH I ALWAYS THINK DELIGHTFUL--YOU COME UPON SUCH PICTURESQUE NOOKS AND CORNERS. NOW, WHO WOULD EVER THINK OF COMING OUT HERE FOR A _MERE WALK_!"]

GOING OUT TO TEA IN THE SUBURBS.--A PRETTY STATE OF THINGS.]

_Snooks._ "SPLENDID CREECHUR--AIN'T HE? BLESS YOU, HE'S A PERFECT BROKE CHARGER. WAS IN THE HORSE GUARDS ONCE. YOU SHOULD SEE HIM IN HIS ACCOUTREMENTS. _GOES IN HARNESS TOO, I BELIEVE!_"]

OLD MR. SQUEAMISH, WHO HAS BEEN ON DECK FOR HIS WRAPPER, FINDS HIS COMFORTABLE PLACE OCCUPIED BY A HAIRY MOSSOO!]

_Horrid Boy (to his Cousin)._ "I SAY, ROSE! WASN'T THAT MAJOR DE VERE WHO JUST LEFT YOU?"

_Rose._ "YES!"

_Horrid Boy._ "AH, THEN, I THINK HE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE TOLD YOU WHAT A TREMENDOUS BLACK SMUDGE YOU'VE GOT ON YOUR NOSE!"

(_N.B.--Of course there is no smudge; but there's no looking-glass
within miles for poor Rose to satisfy herself._)]

_Distinguished Foreigner (who does not comprehend why a frost should stop Hounds.)_ "AHA! NO HONT ZIS MORNING--MON DIEU!--ZEN ZERE IS NO _DOG'S MEET_ TO-DAY!"]

_Clara._ "YES, DEAR, I'VE GOT THE LAST ONE DOWN, AND IT'S PERFECTLY DELICIOUS. A MAN MARRIES HIS GRANDMOTHER--FOURTEEN PERSONS ARE POISONED BY A YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL GIRL--FORGERIES BY THE DOZEN--ROBBERIES, HANGINGS; IN FACT, FULL OF DELIGHTFUL HORRORS!"]

_Keeper._ "STOP A BIT, MESTER REGINALD, AND I'LL LIFT ONE ON 'EM UP!"

_Mester Reginald._ "NOW YOU JUST LET THEM ALONE, I'M COMING OVER!"]

"OUT AGAIN, JACK?"

"YES! I ALWAYS LIKE TO GET AS MUCH HUNTING AS I CAN BEFORE CHRISTMAS--THE WEATHER IS SO NICE AND OPEN!"]

_Mr. S._ "MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF WALTZING WITH YOU, MISS JONES?"

_Miss J._ "I WOULD WITH PLEASURE, _BUT UNFORTUNATELY I'M QUITE FULL_!"]

_Old Lady._ "BUT, GOING IN FOUR-WHEEL CABS! I'M SO AFRAID OF SMALL-POX!"

_Cabby._ "YOU'VE NO CALL TO BE AFEARED O' MY CAB, MUM, FOR I'VE 'AD THE HIND WHEEL WACCINATED, AND IT TOOK BEAUTIFUL."]

_John Thomas._ "HOLLO! COACHMAN! MR. BLINKERS! STOP! HERE'S A COSTERMONGER'S DONKEY GOT HOLD OF MY LEG, AND PULLING THE HAY OUT THAT I'VE PUT IN FOR CALVES!"]

_Sporting Enthusiast (who has with difficulty caught the Hounds)._ "WHAT THE DEUCE ARE YOU HOLLOAING AT--DON'T YOU SEE IT'S A FRESH FOX?"

_Whip._ "SHOULD THINK IT WAS; WE'VE BROKE UP T'OTHER THIS QUARTER OF AN HOUR!"]

NOW WE DARE SAY YOU WONDER WHAT THE DEUCE THIS MEANS. THE FACT IS, THAT SMITH AND TOMKINS HAVE GOT A PLACE IN SCOTLAND THIS YEAR, AND THEY ARE DOING ALL THEY POSSIBLY CAN TO ACCUSTOM THEMSELVES TO DIZZY MOUNTAIN HEIGHTS, AND TO GET THEIR FACES AND LEGS THE PROPER TONE FOR THE NORTH.]

THE NEW AND DELIGHTFUL METHOD OF BRUSHING THE HAIR WITH MACHINERY.]

_First Swell._ "A-A-WAW! WAW! WAW! HOW DID YOU LIKE HIM?"

_Second Do._ "WAW-WAW-WAW.--NO FELLAW EVAW SAW SUCH A FELLAW. GWOSS CAWICATURE-WAW!"]

_Housemaid._ "JAMES! DON'T YOU HEAR YOUR LIBERY BELL A-RINGING?"

_James._ "BOTHER THE LIBERY BELL! I AIN'T GOING TO ANSWER NO LIBERY BELLS--IT'S MY SUNDAY OUT, AND I'M AT CHURCH!"]

_Elderly Lady._ "BUT I MUST REALLY BEG THAT YOU WILL TELL ME YOUR FARE. I CANNOT BE SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOUR BUSINESS!"

_Cabby._ "WELL, MUM--I DON'T THINK WE SHALL FALL HOUT. LET'S SAY, THREE BOB AND A KICK!"]

_First Volunteer (to Second Volunteer on the Barrel)._ "MAY I TROUBLE YE TO MOVE FOR A BIT, FOR YE'RE JUST SITTING ON THE AMUNEE-TION!"]

ADOLPHUS, GEORGE, AND LOUISA, ARE PLAYING IN KENSINGTON GARDENS--TO THEM THE FAMILY DOCTOR UNEXPECTEDLY. A. AND G. AND L. GO THROUGH THE EXPRESSIVE PANTOMIME OF PUTTING OUT THEIR TONGUES AS A MATTER OF COURSE.]

WILKINSON WONDERS WHY THE DOOCE THEY CAN'T GO OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.]

_Young Swell (who has just received promise of a Commission in a Highland Regiment)._ "NOW, GIRLS, WILL THE KILT SUIT MY CALVES?"

_Sisters (tittering)._ "REALLY, DEAR, YOU ARE TOO ABSURD!"]

IT WAS VERY UNPLEASANT! BUT WHAT JENKYNNES HAD TO SAY TO HIS FLORA, WAS SAID UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.]

_John Thomas Gorgeous._ "I TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, COOK! I'M A'MOST WORE OUT WITH THEM LEGS O' MUTTON AND LEGS O' PORK, AND I THINK IT'S 'IGH TIME SOME NEW HANIMAL WAS INWENTED!"]

_Inquiring Youth._ "PLEASE, MAMMA, WHY IS UNCLE'S HORSE CALLED A COB?"

_Mamma._ "OH, MY DEAR! BECAUSE--BECAUSE--WHY BECAUSE HE HAS A THICK BODY AND SHORT LEGS!"

_Inquiring Youth._ "WHAT, LIKE YOU, MAMMA?"]

MOSSOO AS HE APPEARED WHEN VIEWED THROUGH A TELESCOPE.]

_Driver (of the Herring Mould, to Party inclining to embonpoint)._ "HOLLO, BILL! HOW MANY SACKS O' PERTATERS AND HOGSHEADS O' SUGAR 'AVE YER GOT THERE?"]

_Maid._ "OH, COACHMAN! MISSUS SAY, YOU'RE TO COVER YOURSELF WITH THIS RUG, AND NOT TO MOVE OFF THE BOX; BECAUSE YOUR GAITERS AND LEGS AND THINGS ARE REALLY SO VERY SHOCKING."]

_Driving Lady (loq.)_ "OH, FRANK DEAR, ONLY FANCY, GEORGE HAS GOT SO TIPSY AT THE ARCHERY MEETING, THAT WE'VE BEEN OBLIGED TO PUT HIM INSIDE, AND DRIVE HOME OURSELVES--AND POOR CLARA HAS PINCHED HER FINGERS DREADFULLY PUTTING ON THE DRAG COMING DOWN BLUNSDEN HILL."]

_T·mpk·ns (who has just come down to breakfast)._ "HERE! I SAY, GARSONG! I WANT A KELKCHOSE FOR DEJEWNAY! DER KORFEE, AND DES HOOFS, YOU KNOW!"

(_N.B. The Stout Party T. pokes in the ribs is a wealthy Belgian
Swell!_)]

_Mr. Wuzzel (who the last time he weighed was Nineteen Stone, a sack of Guano, and a Barrowful of Bricks)._ "'FOR-RAD--AWAY!' OH, YES! THAT'S ALL VERY WELL--BUT NOT WITH THE COUNTRY(?) AS HEAVY AS THIS!"]

_Gardener (triumphantly)._ "THAT DOG'S BEEN AND GONE AND DONE IT NOW, MA'AM, I THINK!"]

_Wife of his Bussum (to Vanquished Hero)._ "TERENCE, YE GREAT UMMADAWN, WHAT DO YER GIT INTO THIS THRUBBLE FOR?"

_Vanquished Hero (to Wife of his Bussum)._ "D'YE CALL IT THRUBBLE, NOW? WHY, IT'S ENGYEMENT!"]

_Inebriated Snob (to party with paper lamp)._ "WHICH IS THE WAY--TO--TO--THE P--P--POSES PLASTIQUES? WHY, HALLO! IS THAT YOU, JIM? HOW THE DOOCE DID YOU COME TO THIS?"

_Jim._ "WELL--ALL ALONG O' THEM NIGHT PUBLICS. AND HERE I AM--AN 'ILLUMINATED ADVERTISEMENT'!"]

_Bacon Fancier._ "THERE, NOW!--THAT'S MY STYLE!"]

_Horse Critic._ "WELL, WILLIAM, THAT'S A NICE-LOOKING COLT, WHOSE IS IT?"

_Horse Breaker._ "WELL, SIR, THAT DEPENDS UPON CIRCUMSTANCES."

_Critic._ "HOW SO?"

_Breaker._ "IF IT TURNS OUT WELL, IT BELONGS TO MR. B. (_the Steward_); BUT YOU KNOW, SIR _(with a sly look)_, IF IT TURNS OUT BAD, IT BELONGS TO MY LORD."]

_Fare._ "HOW MUCH? NOW I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY! 'YOU'LL LEAVE IT TO ME,' BUT I WON'T HAVE IT. _I'LL LEAVE IT TO YOU!_"]

"DON'T CHECK HER, JACK; GIVE HER HER HEAD."]

THINGS HAVE COME TO A PRETTY PASS INDEED, WHEN A DRAWING-ROOM TABLE JUMPS UP, AND AFTER PLAYING A TUNE ON ITS ACCORDION, OFFERS ITS HAND TO THE HOUSEMAID!----

(NOW, WITHOUT ANY OF THE GAMMON OF PUTTING LIGHTS OUT, AND DARKENING THE ROOM, THIS REALLY DID HAPPEN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT--YOU NEEDN'T BELIEVE IT, OF COURSE, UNLESS YOU LIKE.)]

_Eleanor._ "YOU HAD BETTER BUY SOME OF MY CIGARS--COME, TAKE ONE!"

_Young Swell._ "A--A--THANKS, NO--I NEVER SMOKE!"

_Eleanor._ "WHAT! NOT IF I BITE OFF THE END?"]

JOHN CHINAMAN WEEPING OVER HIS TAIL.]

_Starter._ "YOU'D BETTER BE GOING, SIR; ITS A START!"

_Gentleman Rider._ "OH, I'M ORDERED TO RIDE A WAITING RACE, AND I MAY AS WELL WAIT HERE AS ANYWHERE ELSE!"]

HANG UP THE CRINOLINES, AND HAVE A GAME OF CROQUET IN THE DINING-ROOM.]

_Dreadful Boy._ "MY EYE, TOMMY, IF I CAN'T SEE THE OLD GAL'S LEGS THROUGH THE PEEP-HOLES!"]

_Miss Stout._ "YOU SEE, DEAR, I THOUGHT YOUR SWISS DRESS SO PRETTY, THAT I HAVE MADE ONE EXACTLY LIKE IT. WHY, WE SHALL BE TAKEN FOR SISTERS!"]

_Rough Rider._ "BY YER LEAVE, SIR! MY YOUNG HORSE RUSHES SO IF HE'S KEPT WAITING!"]

JEMIMER HANN IS STARING AT SOLDIER--YOUNG SPOFFINGTON IS BOWING TO GEORGINA MARTINGALE--PERAMBULATOR CHARGES THROUGH YOUNG S.'S LEGS.--SENSATION!]

_1st Fancier._ "NOW ISN'T HE, GEORGIE!--FOR BREED AND SHAPE AND MAKE, THE MOST LOVELY LITTLE CREATURE?"

_2nd Ditto._ "WELL, DEAR, HE CERTAINLY IS VERY HANDSOME, BUT TO MY TASTE MY LITTLE TREASURE PUGGY IS PERFECTION, AND SO AFFECTIONATE!"

_3rd Ditto._ "DID THEY PRAISE THE OTHER DOGS?--LITTLE CHARLIE WAS A DARLING; HE WAS, HE WAS, HE WAS!!!"]

(_Dedicated to those Farmers and others in the Shires, who use that treacherous and unsportsmanlike contrivance._)]

_Attentive Swell (to elegant and fascinating American Young Lady, who has been monopolising the adjacent Gentlemen all through Dinner)._ "LET ME GIVE YOU SOME OF THIS" (_handing Article of Dessert_).

_Belle Américaine._ "NO, THANKS!--WELL, THEN, A VERY LITTLE; FOR _I GUESS I'M PRETTY CROWDED NOW_."

(_Horror of Swells; triumph of neighbouring Female British
Contingent._)]

TO SIT UPON A CHAIR, AND HAVE ONE'S HORSE HELD, IS NOW A VEWY FASHIONABLE WAY OF WIDING IN "WOTTON WOW."]

_Mary._ "DID YOU CALL, MUM?"

_Lady._ "YES, MARY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO WEAR YOUR HOOP BEFORE YOU HAD DONE YOUR ROOMS, BECAUSE YOU BROKE THE JUGS AND BASINS WITH IT!"

_Mary._ "OH, MUM! YOU SEE THE _SWEEPS_ WERE COMING THIS MORNING, AND, REALLY, I COULD NOT THINK OF OPENING THE DOOR TO THEM SUCH A FIGGER AS I SHOULD HA' BEEN WITHOUT MY CRINOLINE!"]

_Irritable Elderly Gentleman._ "HOLLO--HOY--CATCH THAT DOG! I'VE A COMPLAINT--WHERE'S THE STATION-MASTER?--UNDER THE BYE-LAWS--IT'S A DOG--HERE, I GIVE THIS MAN INTO CUSTODY."]

THE "KNEE PLUSH ULTRA" OF SENTIMENT.]

AT THE DOOR PATERFAMILIAS IS EXPOSTULATING WITH AN ORGAN-GRINDER, WHO IS DEFYING HIM WITH EXTREME INSOLENCE, ALTERNATED WITH PERFORMANCES ON THE INSTRUMENT OF TORTURE. POLICEMAN (UNSEEN) IS IN THE KITCHEN, CONSIDERING WHETHER SUSAN'S COOKING OR MARY'S SAVINGS' BANK MONEY WOULD BE THE BETTER INVESTMENT.]

IN A BED-ROOM A MOTHER IS TENDING A SICK BOY, WHO IS SUFFERING FROM NERVOUS FEVER.]

_Keeper (who has never seen a breech-loader)._ "I DON'T THINK WERRY MUCH OF 'IM; WHY HE'S BEEN AND BROKE HIS GUN THE WERRY FUST SHOT!"]

_Dealer._ "THERE, SIR! HE'S A RARE TOPPED UN. WHY, WHAT A MANE AND TAIL HE'S GOT! HE'D MAKE A CHARGER, HE WOULD!"

_Mr. Green._ "BUT AIN'T HIS LEGS A LITTLE TOO THIN FOR HIS BODY?"

_Dealer._ "THIN FOR HIS BODY! BLESS YER! YOU COME TO HACK HIM ABOUT FOR A FEW DAYS, HIS LEGS 'LL _FILL OUT_ ENOUGH, THEY WILL!"]

_Domestic._ "IF YOU PLEASE, 'M, I HAVE AN HOUR TO SPARE, AND I'M A GOIN' TO TRY MY NEW 'ORSE!"]

FROM THE GRAND PUGILISTIC BALLET OF THE FIGHT FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP, WHICH MIGHT, COULD, SHOULD, AND OUGHT TO BE PLAYED AT ONE OF THE OPERAS.]

_Farmer._ "MORNIN', MR. BLANK! NEVER SAW YOU GO SO WELL BEFORE."

_Mr. Blank._ "WHY, WHAT DO YER MEAN? WE'VE NEVER FOUND A FOX!"

_Farmer._ "AH! BUT I MEAN SO WELL FROM COVER TO COVER, YOU KNOW!"]

MR. SPENCER POFFINGTON MAKES A MORNING CALL. HE WILL WEAR AN EYE-GLASS--AND SKIPS LIKE LORD DUNDREARY--AND COMES TO GRIEF OVER A CROQUET IRON, TAKING A HEADER INTO THE ARMS OF LADY HONORIA BOUNCER!]

NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MATTER HERE? WHY, ALPHONSE, IN A BOAT ON THE RIVER, HAS JUST CAUGHT A GOUJON ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS LITTLE FINGER!]

_Human._ "HAH! YOU'D BE A NICE CUSTOMER TO MEET ON THE LOOSE, ANYWHERES AFTER DARK, YOU WOULD!"]

"HANSOM, MISS! YES, MISS! CATTLE OR DOG SHOW?"]

_Old Gent._ "HOW MUCH?"

_Hansom Cabman (boldly)._ "SIX SHILLINGS, SIR!"

_Old Gent._ "WHAT! WHY HOW MANY MILES DO YOU CALL IT FROM TEMPLE BAR TO THE BANK?"

_Cabman._ "OH! IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT A MERE MERCAN-TILE TRANSACTION, YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR RIDE FOR NOTHING. ONLY DON'T GIT INTO AN ANSOM CAB AGAIN, THAT'S ALL."

(_Old Gentleman is speechless with indignation and astonishment._)]

JONES, WHO CAN'T SLEEP WELL IN LONDON DURING THE HOT WEATHER, GOES TO HAVE A QUIET NIGHT IN A VILLAGE!!

(_Portrait of one of the Village Cochins, &c._)]

THEY OUGHT NOT, FOR ONE THING, TO STAGGER THROUGH QUIET STREETS, DRUMMING AND TRUMPETING LIKE SAVAGES, AT MIDNIGHT.]

_First languid Swell._ "HAW! THEY'RE GOING ON STILL WITH THAT DUNDREARY!"

_Second Ditto._ "AW----YA'AS! IT MUST BE A--A--A--A--VEWY HARD WORK FOR A FELLAH TO PERFORM SUCH A--A--CAWACTER EVEWY EVENING."]

_English Stable boy (to his Pal)._ "I SAY, JONES, ISN'T IT A PITY MOUNSEER HAS NOT GOT ANOTHER HAND FOR THE WHIP?"]

_Mr. Dunup._ "I KNOW THAT KNOCK! IT IS! IT MUST BE! YES, IT IS A CREDITOR!!"]

"NOW, CLARA--WHAT A SHAME! YOU ALWAYS TAKE THE PRETTY ONES!"]

DREADFUL OLD FEMALE, WHO, ALTHOUGH SHE WOULD BE HORRIFIED AT THE IDEA OF A CIGAR IN A CARRIAGE, SOLACES HERSELF BY CONSUMING NO END OF PEPPERMINT LOZENGES DURING HER JOURNEY.]

A CURE FOR THE BAWLING FISH-SELLERS AT WATERING-PLACES.]

_Jones (who has accepted a mount with the Harriers, because it is all galloping and no obstacles)._ "OH, YES, LET HIM COME! THAT'S ALL VERY WELL. WHY, IT'S LIKE THE SIDE OF A HOUSE."]

UPON ONE OF THESE CREATURES MR. RAREY'S METHOD CAN MAKE NO IMPRESSION.]

_Infuriate Captain._ "YOU SCOUNDREL, I'LL HAVE YOU UP AS SURE AS YOU ARE BORN!"

_Cabby._ "WHAT! SUMMONS ME! OH, NO, YOU WON'T, MY LORD.--YOU'LL NEVER TAKE THE TROUBLE."

(_Exit_ CABBY _with three-and-sixpence over his fare._)]

_Missus._ "MARY! GO AND TAKE OFF THAT THING DIRECTLY! PRAY, ARE YOU AWARE WHAT A RIDICULOUS OBJECT YOU ARE?"]

_Mamma._ "YES, DOCTOR. SHE WILL SIT FOR HOURS WITHOUT SPEAKING A WORD. SHE PERSISTS IN WEARING THE SAME DRESS, AND WON'T PART WITH THE BOUQUET!"

_Doctor._ "H'M--WELL, LET'S SEE, WE MUST FIRST GET _THE BALL OUT OF HER HEAD_, AND THEN PERHAPS THE NERVOUS SYSTEM MAY RIGHT ITSELF!"]

_Second Life Guardsman._ "LOR, JEMIMER, WHY WE ARE OUR OWN MASTERS, AND NEVER SHOW NO RESPECT TO NOBODY!"

_Jemimer._ "THEN I SUPPOSE YOU'VE SEEN A DEAL OF BATTLES THAT MAKES YOU SO PROUD!"]

_Alice (to Rodolph, or rather, we should say, Jones)._ "NOW MIND, SIR! YOU ARE A VOLUNTEER RIFLEMAN, AND IT ENTIRELY DEPENDS UPON YOUR ATTENTION TO DRILL, WHETHER I GIVE YOU THAT LOCK OF HAIR, OR NOT!"]

_Mamma (coming down the steps)._ "WHY, CORNBYN! WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS? MISS ALICE PERCHED ON HER PAPA'S BIG HORSE, AND THE PONY BROUGHT FOR ME!"

_Cornbyn._ "YES, MA'AM! YOU SEE, MA'AM, MISS ALICE SAID AS YOU WAS RATHER NERVOUS, AND SHE THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD GET ON BETTER WITH TOM TIT."]

AND HOW MUCH BETTER THAN IDLING IN A PUBLIC-HOUSE, OR FLIRTING WITH MAID SERVANTS.]

_Boy (about fourteen)._ "HALF TO BRIGHTON."

_Clerk._ "ARE YOU ABOVE THIRTEEN?"

_Boy._ "NO. ONLY TWELVE LAST----"

_Clerk (interrupting)._ "THEN YOU ARE WHOLE PRICE!"

(_Sold._)]

THREE CHEERS FOR BASS AND HIS BARREL OF BEER, AND OUT WITH THE FOREIGN RUFFIAN AND HIS BARREL-ORGAN!]

THESE ARE THE LITTLE CHILDREN WHO CONVERT THE PARK RAILINGS INTO GYMNASTIC POLES. TO THE CONSTERNATION OF VOKINS'S HORSE!----]

AND THIS IS ONE OF THE HYDE PARK KEEPERS HAVING HIS CARTE DE VISITE TAKEN.

(MORAL. _Would it not be better if the Park Keeper attended to his
duties a little?_)]

_First Cabby._ "I'M WAITIN' FOR THE MEEGER, YOUR HONOR!"

_Second Ditto (in an audible whisper)._ "B'LIEVE ME, 'TIS THE GINERAL, AND I'M HIS KYAR."

_Green (?) Ensign._ "AW--BORE THAT--CAN'T TAKE ME, I SUPPOSE? I'M ONLY A CAPTAIN."

(_Hibernians decidedly sold._)]

_Sarah Jane._ "LAWKS! WHY, IT'S HEXACT LIKE OUR HEMMER!"]

TRYING THE TOP OF THE MONUMENT ON A WET AFTERNOON.]

FOR DOWNRIGHT HEALTHY EXCITEMENT, WE RECOMMEND A DAY'S HUNTING IN A GALE OF WIND.]

_Old Equestrian._ "WELL BUT--YOU'RE NOT THE BOY I LEFT MY HORSE WITH!"

_Boy._ "NO, SIR, I JIST SPEKILATED, AND BOUGHT 'IM OF T'OTHER BOY FOR A HARPENNY?"]

SHALL OUR PRIVACY BE INVADED? SHALL OUR CHILDREN BE RIDDEN DOWN BY A BLOODTHIRSTY AND A BLOATED ARISTOCRACY? ARE OUR WIVES, DAUGHTERS, AND DOMESTICS TO BE TORN TO PIECES BY FEROCIOUS MASTIFFS? NEVER! UP THEN! MARROWBONES TO THE RESCUE!]

A NICE SENSATION FOR BRIGHTON.--POP OVER THE RAILS AND HAVE A GALLOP ON THE RACECOURSE.]

ARRIVAL OF THOSE DISTINGUISHED "LIONS," THE HIPPOPOTAMUS, AND THE GREAT TORTOISE.]

WE WANT TO KNOW WHY THE AUTHORITIES AT BRIGHTON, SO SENSIBLE AND CONSIDERATE IN KEEPING THE PLACE FREE FROM THE DETESTABLE ORGAN-GRINDERS, SHOULD PERMIT THE TERRIBLE NUISANCES INDICATED ABOVE? FRESH PRAWNS, WHITING, OYSTERS, OR WATER-CRESS, ARE CAPITAL THINGS IN THEIR WAY, AND WE SHOULD THINK THAT THE JADED MAN OF OCCUPATION, OR THE INVALID, WOULD VERY MUCH RATHER SEND TO A RESPECTABLE SHOP FOR SUCH DELICACIES, THAN HAVE THEM "BELLOWED" INTO HIS EARS MORNING, NOON, AND NIGHT.]

THE RAILWAY ENGINE AND THE FOXHUNTER--WHAT IT MUST COME TO.]

_Captain Limber, R.A._ "HAVING PLACED OUR BURSTER AND PREPARED OUR PERCUSSION FUSE, WHICH, YOU REMEMBER, EXPLODES BY THE SIMPLE FALL OF THE NEEDLE--WE PROCEED TO * * * *."

(PROFESSOR DABBLES _quite sees that the Artillery is a Service of
itself, and having an appointment at the Megatherium, hurries off by
the train._)]

_Enter Bachelor Brother (who has come from a long day of business)._ "THAT CONFOUNDED ORGAN, AGAIN! ALTHOUGH I TOLD HIM TO GO! BUT--PHEW!!--MY DEAR REBECCA, WHAT DREADFUL ODOUR IS THIS IN THE ROOM?"

(_The truth is, Rebecca has had the Grinding Ruffian to sketch from._)]

TOM NODDY DOESN'T TAKE HIS OWN HORSE WITH HIM, AS HE THINKS IT IS BETTER TO HIRE A HORSE ACCUSTOMED TO THE COUNTRY. THE GROOM ASSURES HIM THAT HE COULDN'T BE BETTER MOUNTED, FOR THE HORSE IS VERY FAST, WITH TRE_MEN_DJUS JUMPING POWER.

No. II.

* * * IT IS A BEAUTIFUL FIND, AND T. N. GETS WELL AWAY WITH THE HOUNDS. THE FIRST FIELD IS A LARGE PASTURE, AND HE AND HIS HORSE AGREE WONDERFULLY. OUR LITTLE FRIEND THINKS THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A GRASS COUNTRY--UNTIL HE COMES.

No. III.

TO THIS PRETTY THING--OVER WHICH HE AND THE HORSE (WITH TRE_MEN_DJUS JUMPING POWER) GO, AND ENTER THE NEXT FIELD IN.

No. IV.

THE FOLLOWING ORDER:--T. N. 1
HIS HORSE 2]

_Little T. N._ "SHALL YOU TAKE A SINGLE, OR RETURN?"

_Friend._ "WELL, I SHALL TAKE A RETURN, BECAUSE I KNOW THE HORSE I'M GOING TO RIDE,--BUT YOU'D BETTER TAKE A SINGLE AND AN INSURANCE TICKET!"]

_Old Lady (l)._ "BOTHER OVER THE WAY! WE LIKE THE HORGINS!]"

OVER THE WAY--THE INVALID.]

THAT AWFUL SWELL PERCY DE GOSLING FINDS HIMSELF BY ACCIDENT AT BRIGHTON ON WHIT-MONDAY. HIS NERVES HAVE BEEN TERRIBLY SHOCKED. ALREADY HE HAS BEEN ASKED IF HE WANTED ANY TEA-ACCOMMODATION; AND NOW A BOATMAN REQUESTS HIM TO "JINE THIS PARTY, AND MAKE UP THE 'ARF DOZEN FOR A ROW."]

HOORAY! MOSSOO GOES TO THE DERBY, AND IN HIS FAVOURITE COSTUME OF "BRITISH SPORTMAN!"]

OH DEAR NO! OLD BR--GGS IS _NOT_ DEAD--HE HAS TAKEN TO YACHTING FOR THE BENEFIT OF HIS HEALTH.]

MR. BRIGGS'S HORSE-TAMING EXPERIENCES.

OUR FRIEND B. GOES WITH A PARTY TO SEE THE MECHANICAL HORSE. HE OF COURSE TRIES ITS POWERS. FIRST, THE SLOW AND GENTLE MOVEMENT!----]

FANCY PORTRAIT OF THE NOBLE LORD WHO FINDS ORGAN-GRINDING AN "AGREEABLE RELIEF."]

MR. BRIGGS'S HORSE-TAMING EXPERIENCES.

AND THEN THE QUICK AND STRONG!]

HORROR OF JOHN THOMAS ON FINDING THAT UPPER SERVANTS ARE TO PAY THE INCOME TAX.]

MR. BRIGGS'S HORSE-TAMING EXPERIENCES.

OUR DEAR OLD FRIEND BR--GGS, WHO HAS BECOME VERY PARTICULAR ABOUT THE HORSE HE RIDES, PURCHASES ONE OF THOSE EXTRAORDINARY COBS, UP TO WEIGHT, WARRANTED NEVER TO TRIP NOR SHY, AND WHICH ARE SO INVALUABLE TO AN ELDERLY OR A TIMID RIDER! THE ANIMAL HAS, HOWEVER, AMONGST A FEW OTHER PLAYFUL PECULIARITIES, A HABIT OF TRYING TO JAM HIS RIDER'S LEG AGAINST THE WALL, TO SAY NOTHING OF WALKING ABOUT ON HIS HIND LEGS, AS IF HE WERE A BIPED!

(_Tableau. Mr. B. as he appeared on the pavement._)]

_Sailor (confidentially)._ "I SAY, JACK, ISN'T IT QUITE MELANCHOLY TO SEE THEM POOR FELLOWS DRESSED UP LIKE THAT 'ERE?"]

MR. BRIGGS'S HORSE-TAMING EXPERIENCES.

TO SHOW WHAT PERFECT CONTROL HE HAS OVER HIS ANIMAL, HE SEATS HIMSELF ON ITS BACK WITH HIS FACE TO ITS TAIL, AND--SUDDENLY OPENS AN UMBRELLA.]

THE VOLUNTEER MOVEMENT--CHAIRING THE BEST SHOT IN ENGLAND.]

LONDON

BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO., PRINTERS, WHITEFRIARS.

INDEX.

YEAR PAGE

ABUSE of the Aspirate, The 1863 21

Accepting a Situation 1856 40

Across Country 1864 181

Advice Gratis 1863 187

After Dundreary 1862 201

After Supper--Strange Admission 1861 198

All the Difference 1863 199

Ambition 1863 39

An Afflicted One 1853 214

An Idea for a Wet Day 1863 215

An Interesting Question 1859 204

An Old Friend 1853 257

Ancient Britons, The 1861 1

Another Pretty Little Americanism 1864 167

Anxious Inquirers 1863 143

Anxious to Preserve our Figure, we take a Turkish Bath 1861 212

Aquatics--When the Bees are Swarming 1858 59

Aristocratic Hotel Company, The 1863 41-4

Art Treasures 1860 119

At a Rifle Competee-tion in the North 1863 202

At Dieppe 1862 118

Attempted Fraud on the Railway 1863 241

Awful Apparition 1861 171

Awful Tale of an Eel 1858 208

Awkward for Papa 1863 22

BADLY Hit During the Recent Engagement with the Guards 1863 236

Ball, The 1862 191

Battue, The 1862 125

Beach, The--A Sketch for Warm Weather 1862 161-4

Bear Baiting 1862 211

Benevolence 1860 61

Beware of Artillery Whiskers 1861 11

Billiards 1864 169

Bit of Household Stuff, A 1862 238

Biter Bit, The 1864 243

Black Diamond, The--The Real Mountain of Light 1851 246

Bores of the Beach, The 1860 101

Bouncer, A 1860 94

Board and Lodging 1864 64

Bois de Boulogne--For Cavaliers only 1863 118

Box of Books from London, The 1856 233

Breaking the Bye-Laws 1852 220

Brighton Jewels 1860 237

Brilliant Suggestion, A, Presented gratis to the Horse
Guards by Mr. Punch 1858 261

Broken Country, A 1864 234

Brook Jump, The 1863 145

By the Fast Train, 1861 115

By your Leave, 1859 49

CABMAN GUIDE, The, 1861 52

Canine, 1863 48

Capillary Attractions, 1858 35

Capital Finish, A, 1860 156

Carte de Visite, The, 1862 157

Cause and Effect, 1864 57

Caution to the Unwary, A, 1859 14

Chaff, 1862 103

Chamber Practice, 1860 129

Chance for Jeames, A, 1860 53

Channel Passage, The, 1862 206

Chip of the Old Block, A, 1862 190

Christening of Jones's First, The, 1863 142

Clerical Beard Movement, The, 1861 49

Cockney at Dieppe, A, 1851 254

Coincidence, A, 1860 32

Collar Mania, The, 1854 64

Comfortable Quarters, 1859 152

Comforter, A, 1862 19

Complimentary, 1864 225

Complimentary to Paterfamilias, 1860 16

Confirmed Bachelor, 1861 159

Connoisseur, A, 1859 135

Considerate Attention, 1860 26

Consolation, 1859 94

Consolation, 1861 130

Consoling from Consols, 1862 96

Consummation devoutly to be wished, A, 1862 21

Contemplative Man's Recreation, The, 1860 137

Contented Mind, A, 1860 138

Cook's Morning Service, The, 1863 220

Costermonger as he is, and as he might be, The, 1863 167

Country Races--Amateur Professionals, 1855 215

Courtesies of Travel, The, 1859 123

Cricket--The Pride of the Village, 1863 58

Crinoline for Domestic use, 1862 132

Crinoline for Domestic use, 1862 235

Croquet, 1863 106

Crossing-Sweeper Nuisance, The, 1856 8

Cruel, 1861 4

Cruel Joke at a Fête, 1859 193

Cub-Hunting, 1862 203

Curious Echo at a Railway Station, 1861 127

Curious effect of Relaxing Air, 1849 104

DABBLING, 1861 24

Darlings, The, come out to see the 38th Othersex
Volunteers Drilled, 1861 2

Day at Biarritz, A 1863 244-5

Day with the Stag, A 1856 252

Day's Amusement, A 1864 208

Day's Pleasure, A 1860 25

Deal, A 1863 152

Debate on the New Ministry 1858 88

Decidedly 1860 166

De Gustibus, &c. 1858 258

Delicate Hint, A 1863 13

Delicious 1862 136

Difference in Opinion, A 1863 12

Difficult Task, A 1850 127

Dignity and Impudence 1861 60

Dignity and Impudence 1858 150

Dignity of Age, The 1856 15

Diner à la Russe 1862 126

Dining under Difficulties 1861 3

Dinner-Bell, The 1849 259

Dip in French Waters, A 1862 68

Dissenters in the University 1855 127

District Telegraph, The 1863 23

Disturbed Imagination, A 1859 230

Diving Belles 1862 118

Dog-days, The 1864 218

Doing a little Business 1864 247

Doosed aggravating for Cornet Flinders 1863 55

Doubtful Compliment, A 1862 126

Dramatic 1863 231

Drawing Room, A 1858 127

Drawing Room, The 1863 14

Dried Up 1859 86

Duet under Difficulties, A 1863 176

Dust Ho! The Long Dress Nuisance 1863 184

EFFECT of Sixpence a Mile 1857 157

Effect of Stopping the Grog 1849 154

Effects of the Weather on a Sensitive Plant 1861 172

Emphatic 1861 4

End of a Friend of the Family 1862 116

Engaged Ones, The 1847 168

English Darlings reflected in a French Mirror 1862 98

English Gold Field, An 1854 36

English Soldiers according to French Notions 1860 98

Escort, An 1862 148

Excess of Cleanliness, An 1860 28

Exhausted Student, The 1862 65

Express 1864 66

Experiment on a Vile Body, An 1859 29

Extravagance 1858 29

FACETIOUS Inference, A 1861 7

Fact, A 1860 18

Fact, A 1860 153

False Alarm, surely! 1861 52

Family Box at the Theatre, A 1857 257

Fancy Fair, The 1864 214

Fancy Scene, A--Winning the Gloves 1860 224

Fancy Sketch 1860 31

Farewell 1856 264

Fashion for next Summer, The 1860 139

Fashions in Hair 1862 107

Fatuous Fashion, A 1858 219

Fellow Martyrs 1864 193

Feminine Rivalry 1864 175

Financial Difficulty, A 1861 11

Financial Question, The 1862 259

Fine Polish, A 1852 96

First Beginnings 1863 194

First Day of the Season 1861 35

First of September 1852 70

Fitting Hospitality 1863 176

Flagrant Attempt, A 1862 177

Flattering Proposal 1860 155

Flunkeiana 1848 104

Flunkeiana 1864 205

Flunkey in Trouble, A 1864 199

Fly-Fishing 1863 170

Fond Delusion 1860 111

Force of Habit 1864 146

Force of Habit (for Family People only) 1861 203

Foreign Infliction, A 1859 222

For-rad,--For-rad--Away! 1861 209

Freaks of a Pet Dog 1852 210

Freshener on the Downs, A 1857 120

Friendly Offer, A 1859 71

Friendly Prescription 1856 21

Frivolity 1858 99

Frolic Home after a Blank Day, A 1859 196

Furniture Removal Agency, A 1860 214

GALE, The 1862 73

Garotte Effect, A 1863 119

Generous Offer 1860 45

Gent at Cost Price, A 1856 155

Geographical Joke, A 1855 143

Going North 1862 81

Going Out of Town 1860 16

Going through the Alphabet 1860 166

Going to Court 1863 144

Going to Cover 1861 124

Gold Field in the "Diggins," A 1854 37

Gone Away! 1861 30

Good Blacking 1853 102

Gordian Knot for Robinson, A 1862 17

Grand National Rose Show 1858 232

Great Bonnet Question, The 1857 254

Great Exhibition 1862 243

Great Whisker Cutting Movement, The 1861 116

Grievance, A 1863 141

Ground Swell, A 1861 28

Groundless Alarm 1861 170

Groundless Alarm 1862 142

Guardian of the Field, The 1855 111

HAIR Dressing Nowadays 1864 175

Harry takes his Cousins to see the Hounds Meet 1862 145

Haymarket and Thereabout, The 1862 88

Healthy and Amusing Game 1860 45

Held in Cheek 1858 33

Helping Him On 1861 61

Hero Worship 1850 221

Hill at Epsom, The 1861 72

Hint to the Engaged Ones of England, A 1859 239

Hint to Travellers 1860 48

History--The Ancient Britons 1861 1

Holidays at Home 1860 183

Honour to the Brave 1855 114

Hopeful Prospect, A 1863 10

Horrid Girl 1861 144

Horse Dealer's Logic, A 1863 140

Hot Chestnut, A, is very Good after Dinner, but not
just as the Fox breaks 1862 217

Household Economy 1861 138

How Not to Do It 1863 242

How to Bother Cabby 1863 213

How to Clear a Carriage for a Cigar 1864 182

How to Make a Watering Place Pleasant 1861 24

How Would it be Without Crinoline? 1864 197

Humour of the Streets, The 1860 90

Humour of the Streets, The 1861 139

Hunting from Town 1862 147

Hurrah! 1860 263

Hush! Hush! 1863 122

Hygienic Pleasure, A 1863 200

IDLE Servant, The 1863 99

Immense Treat for the Party Concerned 1861 102

Important Matter 1860 149

Impostor, An 1863 150

Improving the Time 1857 141

Impudence 1849 230

In Barracks 1860 94

Incident of Travel, An 1859 88

Incident of Travel, An 1864 158

Influence of the Railway on the Rhine 1864 173

In Good Society 1851 249

Injured Brother, An 1861 15

In Search of Excitement 1850 246

"In the Bay of Biscay, O!" 1862 115

Innocent Delusions 1863 139

Inquiring Mind, An 1861 45

In Search of a Victim 1860 11

In State 1844 146

In the Volunteers 1862 25

Invalid, The 1860 103

Irresistible 1860 99

It is Safer to go with your Animal 1862 147

JOHN Bull à la Française 1855 262

John Tomkins and 'Arry Bloater 1862 68

Jolly Anglers 1864 125

Jolly Game, A 1857 221

Jumping to a Conclusion 1864 206

Junior Counsel, A 1848 257

KNOWING Animal, A 1857 187

LADIES' Lap Dog Show, The 1862 254

Lady Audley's Secret 1863 9
Accepting a Situation 1856 40

La Mode 1860 154

La Mode--The Zouave Jacket 1860 56

Last Day at the Seaside, The--Packing Up 1861 27

Last New Thing in Cloaks, The 1859 107

Last Sweet Thing in Hats, The 1859 28

Late from the Nursery 1860 96

Late from the School-room 1860 12

Latest Fashion, The 1857 111

Latest Fast Thing, The 1863 39

Latest Improvement, The 1856 69

Latest from Abroad--Powder and all the Rest of it 1862 48

Latest Style, The 1856 106

Legal Solfeggio, The 1846 116

Le Sport 1862 256

Lesson, The 1862 2

Lesson in French, A 1855 86

Like unto Like 1862 211

Likely Bait, A 1860 178

Likely Case, A 1855 50

Linguist, The 1863 65

Little Bit of Yorkshire, A 1864 212

Little Family Breeze, A 1864 173

Little Farce at a Railway Station, A 1859 63

Little Railway Drama, A 1863 186

Little Rowlands' Macassar Wanted Somewhere, A 1863 99

Little Scene at Brussels, A 1864 209

Little Smoke-Jack, A 1863 131

London Cream 1864 146

London Highlanders 1861 200

Looking at it Pleasantly 1864 123

"Love's Course Never Did" You Know 1864 205

Loving Cup, A 1858 104

Lowest Depth, The 1864 211

Lucid Explanation, A 1852 63

MAKING it Intelligible 1864 202

Making the Best of It 1858 7

Malvern Hills, The 1864 262

Man of Discrimination, A 1863 188

Man of Ideas, A 1861 174

Man's Rooms at the Temple, A 1863 106

Marriage Question, The 1858 47

Master and Man--A Pretty State of Things 1861 64

Matter of Opinion, A 1862 71

Medium, A 1861 79

Mere Trifle, A 1862 134

Mermaid, A 1854 58

Militia Man, A 1854 76

Mistaking a Title 1860 65

Moral of it, The 1862 235

Morning Ride, The 1863 248

Mossoo Learning to Swim 1862 118

Most Flattering 1861 216

Most Offensive 1859 21

Mr. Briggs's Adventures in the Highlands 1861 81,
83, 85, 87, 89, 91, 93, 95, 97

Mr. Briggs's Horse Taming Experiences 1863 258,
261

Mrs. J. has the Best of It 1860 55

Muscular Education--The Private Tutor 1860 110

NATURAL Impatience 1860 46

Nature when Unadorned, &c. 1861 54

New Leathers, too! 1861 31

New Ride, The, Frightful Scene in Kensington Gardens 1860 247

New School, The 1862 136

Nice Game for Two or More, A 1861 110

Nice Little Dinner, The 1853 63

Nightmare, A 1862 150

No Doubt of It 1860 73

Not a bad Judge 1859 101

Not a doubtful Race 1845 250

Nothing like doing it Thoroughly 1864 179

Nothing like Mountain Air 1860 47

Not so bad as he seems 1860 159

Not so Easy 1853 160

Not such a bad Thing in a Shower 1860 57

Novel Suggestion 1863 78

Now I'm Papa 1860 108

No. 999 Government Transport 1855 114

OBJECT of Attraction, An 1860 189

Ocular Demonstration 1857 157

Office Incident, An 1863 124

Old School 1862 23

On Duty 1844 134

Oh, how Jolly! 1859 101

Oh, that I were in that Balcony! 1864 180

On a Parisian Boulevard 1861 109

One Night from Home 1861 6

One of the Right Sort 1860 34

One-sided View, A 1846 260

On the Racecourse 1852 109

On the Sands 1860 74

On the Way to Parade 1860 68

On the Way to the Park 1855 34

Opportunity, An 1862 128

Opposite Opinions 1859 56

Order we hope to see issued, An 1861 156

Organ Grinding Nuisance, The 1864 255

Our Foreign Visitors 1861 156

Our Indolent Young Man 1859 79

Our National Defences 1860 102

Our Volunteers 1860 19

Out of his Element 1862 256

Outrage upon a Gallant Turk 1856 253

Oysters 1864 140

PAINFUL Subject, A 1861 121

Partridge Shooting 1860 97

Partridge Shooting 1863 223

Persuasive 1863 60

Pet-Love 1862 149

Philosophy in Sport 1859 171

Photograph, The 1861 132

Picked up from the Beach 1863 59

Picture for the Intemperate, A 1860 72

Pious Public-House, The 1855 112

Pitiable Objects 1862 53

Pheasant Shooting, A Warm Corner 1858 117

Pleasant 1863 148

Pleasant Intelligence 1863 76

Pleasant Prospect, A 1864 253

Pleasures of the Country, The 1863 191

Pleasures of the Sea, The 1857 241

Pleasures of Vegetarianism 1852 86

Pluck! 1863 104

Polite Attention 1861 22

Politeness 1860 72

Political Prospects 1859 20

Poor Cousin Charles 1864 190

Poor Fellow 1863 108

Poor Little Fellow 1861 33

Portrait, The,--Finishing Touch to the Dress 1862 74

Portrait of a certain Student who is Reading so
hard at the Seaside 1861 26

Poser, A 1861 3

Posing a Customer 1861 84

Positive Fact, of Course 1862 13

Practising for a Match 1862 174

Practising on a Patient 1858 124

Preliminary Canter, A 1862 168

Prepared for Garotters 1863 192

Prevention is Better than Cure 1863 198

Pretty Exhibition near Brompton, A 1862 189

Private Theatricals--The Moustaches 1860 66

Probability, A--"Hold your Zebra, Sir?" 1858 70

Problem for Young Ladies, A 1862 32

Professional 1859 5

Profligate Pastrycook's, The 1855 113

Progress of Civilization 1854 178

Proper Precaution, A 1862 31

Prudence 1862 121

Prudential Assurance 1859 75

Putting his Foot in it 1864 225

Putting it Blandly 1863 109

Putting Principle into Practice 1861 58

QUIET Rebuke, A 1864 137

Quip Modest, The 1862 122

Quite Exhausted 1856 140

RACE for a Fare, A 1859 107

Raillery 1864 207

Railway Grievance 1864 233

Railway Morals 1864 141

Rather a Kitcheny way of Putting it 1863 143

Rather a Knowing Thing in Nets 1860 46

Rather Keen 1859 195

Rather 'Ossy 1863 223

Rather Vulgar, but Perfectly True 1862 51

Ready when Wanted, or Militia Volunteers 1854 228-9

Real Enjoyment 1861 76

Real Independence 1863 201

Real Tragedy 1864 134

Real Treasure, A 1859 1

Recreation for the Horse Guards 1851 240

Relaxation 1861 23

Repose 1862 77

Resources of the Establishment 1860 50

Retaliation 1864 233

Return from the Races--Bois de Boulogne 1864 232

Riding-hat Question, The 1861 100

Rival Barrels, The 1864 241

SAGACIOUS Cabby, A 1862 227

Salmon Fishing 1863 133

Scarborough, At 1862 227

Scene--A Certain gay Watering Place 1859 69

Scene at Sandbath 1861 80

Scene in a Modern Studio 1856 29

Scene on a Bridge at Paris 1863 226

Scene--The Row 1863 217

School for Old Gentlemen, A 1858 193

Sea-fishing 1863 5

Sea-side Studies 1860 25

Sea-side Subject, A, Jolly for the Party in
Search of Repose 1862 54

Secular Pursuit, A 1857 92

Self Importance 1861 11

Sensation Ball, The 1862 88

Sensation Novel, The 1864 194

Serious Complaint, A 1855 155

Serious Drawback, A 1861 9

Servantgalism, No. XIII. 1863 10

Servantgalism, No. XIV. 1860 128

Servantgalism, No. XV. 1864 169

Servantgalism, &c., No. XVI. 1863 220

Servantgalism in Australia--A Fact 1864 224

Severe 1860 12

Serving Him Out 1862 84

Shocking Incident in Real Life 1864 251

Shocking Young Lady Indeed, A 1860 67

Shoeburyness 1864 251

Short Cut through the Wood, A 1862 117

Sign of Progress, A 1864 131