Chapter XXIII

_The Religion of the Americans.--Religious Sects.--Why
Jonathan Goes to Church.--Walk in, Ladies and Gentlemen,
"this is the Place to be Saved and Happy."--Irresistible
Invitations.--The Esoterists.--Why Die when Immortality is
Attainable?--The Recipe.--Faith Cure.--A Highly-recommended
Book.--Seventh Day Hypocrisy.--To Choose Goods is not to Buy
Them.--"Great Scott!"--Religion and Republicanism Live Happily
together in America._

The Americans are Christians; that is to say, they attend church on Sundays. Like other Christians, they attend to business on week-days.

In America, religion is served up with sauces to suit all palates. Independently of the Catholic religion, there are 189 different religious sects. England has only 185.

Every good preacher draws a full congregation, no matter to which sect he belongs. The church in itself is not the attraction, and the minister has no other influence over the people than that which he exercises by his oratorical talents. A religious or moral lecture is as popular as a literary lecture, a concert, or a play.

Put a bad preacher into an American pulpit, and he will soon empty the church; replace him by a gifted orator, and soon there will be "standing room" only, and every seat will be at a premium.

The priesthood is not a vocation; it is a profession: no talent, no success. An American will go and listen to the minister of a sect differing from his own, rather than sit and be bored by a tiresome preacher belonging to his own denomination. He will rather go to hear Dr. MacGlyn, the excommunicated Roman Catholic priest, or Dr. Felix Adler, the eloquent agnostic; religious as he is, he will sometimes regret that Colonel Ingersoll does not appear in public on Sundays any longer; Protestant as he is, he has no scruple about going to hear a musical mass in the Catholic cathedral; in fact, you can see him everywhere, except in the churches where dulness prevails, and the mind waits in vain for fresh nourishment.

The churches advertise a preacher in the newspapers as the theatres advertise a "star." In default of a good preacher, other attractions are put forward to draw the public. How resist the two following appeals, posted at the doors of a New York and a Chicago church? I copied them word for word with great care:

"Musical evangelists, solos, short sermons. The place to be happy and saved."

Walk in, ladies and gentlemen, walk in.

The other, more seductive still, was worded thus:

"No reason for not coming. Free seats, cheerful services. Books supplied to the congregation."

The public are requested to leave the books in the seats after use.

* * * * *

Religious sects multiply every day. No doctrine is too absurd to make proselytes.

The latest religious invention in America is Esoterism, which promises immortality to its followers--immortality, that is all! The doctrine of the Esoterists teaches that, if man were really pure, and followed the precepts of the Gospel to the letter, he would become immortal, not in Paradise, but here below. As it is probable that no Christian ever yet succeeded in following minutely the precepts of the Gospel, the Esoterists may be right. To live for ever, say they, you have only to remain virtuous, even in the married state. Celibacy must be embraced. Celibacy pure and simple, however, is not sufficient; for where there is no struggle, there is no victory. Devotees must, therefore, marry; but, in all honour, remain celibates. If you succeed in mastering your passions, no malady will attack you, and you will become immortal.

"But," you will say, "do the Esoterists never die?" Yes, they die--once; but, according to them, this does not prove the fallacy of their belief. If they die, it simply proves that they have failed to attain the necessary degree of perfection.

Now, the Esoterists are safe to continue with us; for either they will arrive at perfection and become immortal, or they will fall away from grace and will have children to swell their ranks. The head of this sect, which is as yet only about two years old, claims that when the Esoterists attain perfection, not only will they be immortal, but they will have a clear insight into the future, a gift which will enable them to amass great riches. And, indeed, the utility of such an accomplishment, on the Stock Exchange, for instance, must be apparent at a glance.

Another sect pretends to be able to cure all disease by faith. The faith of these fanatics is not shaken by the death of their patients. "If they had had more faith, they would have recovered." Doctor Sangrado cured all illnesses by bleedings and hot water. When a patient died, it was because the bleeding had been too copious or not copious enough, and the water administered too hot or too cool. The theory remained excellent.

All these new sects are commercial enterprises, some of them established on the plan of limited liability companies. A room is hired, and supplied with a table and chairs, and a few novelty-hunters are soon attracted to the embryo temple. These in turn draw others, and by-and-by a more imposing meeting-place is secured, and the pockets of the proselytes are appealed to for funds to found what is called "The Lord's Treasury." Many poor simple folk have been persuaded into giving all they possessed to the "Lord's Treasury."

No need to put by a reserved fund: human credulity is an inexhaustible mine.

Fortune-tellers are punished with from six months' to two years' imprisonment. How is it the law allows schemers to found a "Lord's Treasury" by promising immortality to the geese who bring their money to it? It looks as if, in America, as in England, swindling may be practised with impunity in the name of religion.

One meets with just as many cases of the adroit blending of the worship of God and Mammon.

* * * * *

A publisher, who is not above making money by the sale of books stolen from English and French authors, is yet godly enough to build a church with part of the proceeds.

An immense quantity of literary piracies issues from another firm, whose warehouse rejoices in the appellation of "Bible House."

A popular preacher sells his church sittings by auction.

Another furnishes to a syndicate advance sheets of the sermons he preaches on Sunday; so that the principal papers throughout the United States are able to furnish their readers, on Monday morning, with the full discourse delivered the day before in Brooklyn.

During my stay in America, a well-known evangelist published a volume of sermons with the following preface: "God has been kind enough to own the words when I spoke them. I hope He will give His blessing to the book, now that the same words appear in print." Many books are published in France with the remark, "A work approved of by Mgr. the Archbishop of----" A volume, advertised as having been owned and blessed by the Lord Himself, ought to have a wild sale.

* * * * *

Sabbatarian hypocrisy is as flourishing in the eastern States of America as in England and Scotland.

I was visiting the sub-tropical Exhibition at Jacksonville one Sunday, and at a certain stall I chose a few little natural curiosities.

"I cannot sell them to you to-day," said the stall-keeper to me, after well puffing his wares.

"No? Why?"

"Because it is Sunday. I can put them aside for you; but you must _buy_ them to-morrow."

This is the kind of thing one is supposed to admire.

A truly edifying sight is that of the noisy, dirty, blaspheming crowd collected on a Sunday evening outside Madison Square Gardens, New York, on the eve of a "six days' go-as-you-please walking match." From six or seven in the evening there is a betting, swearing match outside the gates. But the walking only begins at one minute past midnight.

Not to take the name of God in vain, the English have invented many euphemisms; some men, imagining, I suppose, that the Deity takes no cognisance of any language but English, venture so far as to say _mon Dieu_ or _mein Gott_.

At this kind of thing the Americans are as clever as the English. They have invented _Great Scott_!

* * * * *

Something admirable in all the main religious sects of America is their national character.

When I hear it said that religion is the sworn enemy of progress, especially of Republican institutions, I turn to America and say to myself, "This is not true."

There is no minister of religion, from the archbishops down to the most unlettered preachers of all the small _isms_, who would dare to tell his congregation that liberty is not the most precious, the most sacred of their possessions, or that the Republic is not the most admirable form of Government--the only possible one--for America.

In France, there is much indifference on the subject of religion; but a great deal of incredulity is affected to satisfy a political bias. I am certain that if, in France, you searched into the hearts of the people, you would find there much less atheism than in many other nations. Religious belief seems to be the apanage of the Royalist party, and other people think they make a show of Republicanism by throwing over the belief of the Royalists. The religious man is rather looked upon as a political enemy than as a religious antagonist. This is the true explanation of much apparent agnosticism in France. It must also be remarked that plenty of Royalists only affect piety, and go regularly to church, as a protest against Republicanism, and that many Republicans may be excused for taking this display of religion for an act of hostility towards their pet institutions.

This state of things is deplorable. Both sides are to blame for it.

In England and America, where the form of Government is questioned by no one, religion does not clash with progress and liberty, but lives with democracy in peace and harmony, as becomes a faith whose grand precept is: "Love ye one another."