Chapter IV: Part 4

Rose at eight: went and took a bath. After breakfast, went to rehearsal: Venice Preserved, with Mr. Keppel, who did not appear to me to know the words even, and seemed perfectly bewildered at being asked to do the common business of the piece. "Mercy on me! what will he do to-night?" thought I. Came home and got things ready for the theatre. Received a visit from poor Mr. ----, who has got the lumbago, as Sir Peter would say, "on purpose," I believe, to prevent my riding out to-morrow. Dined at three: after dinner, played and sang through Cinderella; wrote journal: at six, went to the theatre. My gown was horribly ill-plaited, and I looked like a blue bag. The house was very full, and they received Mr. K---- with acclamations and shouts of applause. When I went on, I was all but tumbling down at the sight of my Jaffier, who looked like the apothecary in Romeo and Juliet, with the addition of some devilish red slashes along his thighs and arms. The first scene passed well and so: but, oh, the next, and the next, and the next to that! Whenever he was not glued to my side (and that was seldom), he stood three yards behind me; he did nothing but seize my hand, and grapple to it so hard, that unless I had knocked him down (which I felt much inclined to try), I could not disengage myself. In the senate scene, when I was entreating for mercy, and _struggling_, as Otway has it, for my life, he was prancing round the stage in every direction, flourishing his dagger in the air: I wish to Heaven I had got up and run away: it would but have been natural, and have served him extremely right. In the parting scene,--oh what a scene it was!--instead of going away from me when he said "farewell for ever," he stuck to my skirts, though in the same breath that I adjured him, in the words of my part, not to leave me, I added, aside, "Get away from me, oh _do_!" When I exclaimed, "Not one kiss at parting," he kept embracing and kissing me like mad: and when I ought to have been pursuing him, and calling after him, "Leave thy dagger with me," he hung himself up against the wing, and remained dangling there for five minutes. I was half crazy! and the good people sat and swallowed it all: they deserved it, by my troth, they did. I prompted him constantly; and once, after struggling in vain to free myself from him, was obliged, in the middle of my part, to exclaim, "You hurt me dreadfully, Mr. Keppel!" He clung to me, cramped me, crumpled me,--dreadful! I never experienced any thing like this before, and made up my mind that I never would again. I played of course like a wretch, finished my part as well as I could, and, as soon as the play was over, went to my father and Mr. Simpson, and declared to them both my determination not to go upon the stage again, with that gentleman for a hero. Three trials are as many as, in reason, any body can demand, and, come what come may, _I_ will not be subjected to this sort of experiment again. At the end of the play, the clever New Yorkians actually called for Mr. Keppel! and this most worthless clapping of hands, most worthlessly bestowed upon such a worthless object, is what, by the nature of my craft, I am bound to care for; I spit at it from the bottom of my soul! Talking of applause, the man who acted Bedamar to-night thought fit to be two hours dragging me off the stage; in consequence of which I had to scream, "Jaffier, Jaffier," till I thought I should have broken a blood-vessel. On my remonstrating with him upon this, he said, "Well, you are rewarded, listen:" the people were clapping and shouting vehemently: this is the whole history of acting and actors. We came home tired, and thoroughly disgusted, and found no supper. The cooks, who do not live in the house, but come and do their work, and depart home whenever it suits their convenience, had not thought proper to stay to prepare any supper for us: so we had to wait for the readiest things that could be procured out of doors for us--this was pleasant[18]--very! At last appeared a cold boiled fowl, and some monstrous oysters, that looked for all the world like an antediluvian race of oysters, "for in those days there were giants." Six mouthfuls each: they were well-flavoured; but their size displeased my eye, and I swallowed but one, and came to bed.

_Friday, 28th._

A letter from England, the first from dear ----. D---- brought it me while I was dressing, and oh, how welcome, how welcome it was!

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After breakfast went to rehearsal: Much Ado about Nothing. Came home, wrote journal, put out things for the theatre, dined at three. After dinner, ---- called.

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Mr. ---- called, and sat with us till six o'clock.

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I constantly sit thunderstruck at the amazing number of unceremonious questions which people here think fit to ask one, and, moreover, expect one to answer. Went to the theatre; the house was not good. The Italians were expected to sing for the first time; they did not, however, but in the mean time thinned our house.

I would give the world to see Mr. ---- directing the public taste, by an oeillade, and leading the public approbation, by a gracious tapping of his supreme hand upon his ineffable snuff-box; he reminds me of high life below stairs. The play went off very well; I played well, and my dresses looked beautiful; my father acted to perfection. I never saw any thing so gallant, gay, so like a gentlemen, so full of brilliant, buoyant, refined spirit; he looked admirably, too. Mr. ---- was behind the scenes; speaking to me of my father's appearance in Pierre, he said he reminded him of Lord ----. I could not forbear asking him how long he had been away from England? he replied, four years. Truly, four years will furnish him matter of astonishment when he returns. Swallow Street is grown into a line of palaces; the Strand is a broad magnificent avenue, where all the wealth of the world seems gathered together; and Lord ----, the "observed of all observers," is become a red-faced fat old man. "Och, Time! can't ye be aisy now!"

_Sunday, 30th._

Rose late, did not go to church; sat writing letters all the morning. Mr. ---- and Mr. ---- called. What a character that Mr. ---- is! Colonel ---- called, and wanted to take my father out; but we were all inditing espistles to go to-morrow by the dear old Pacific. At three o'clock, went to church with Mrs. ---- and Mr. ----. I like Dr. ---- most extremely. His mild, benevolent, Christian view of the duties and blessings of life is very delightful; and the sound practical doctrine he preaches "good for edification."

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It poured with rain, but they sent a coach for us from the inn; came home, dressed for dinner. D---- and I dined _tête-à-tête_. After dinner, sat writing letters for Mr. ----'s bag till ten o'clock: came to my own room, undressed, and began a volume to dear ----.

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I did not get to bed till three o'clock: in spite of all which I am as fat as an overstuffed pincushion.

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Select specimens of American pronunciation:--

vaggaries, vagaries.
ad infinnitum, ad infinitum.
vitupperate, vituperate.

_Monday, October 1st._

While I was out, Captain ---- called for our letters. Saw Mr. ----, and bade him good-by: they are going away to-day to Havre, to Europe; I wish I was a nail in one of their trunks. After breakfast, went to rehearse King John: what a lovely mess they will make of it, to be sure! When my sorrows were ended, my father brought me home: found a most lovely nosegay from Mr. ---- awaiting me. Bless it! how sweet it smelt, and how pretty it looked. Spent an hour delightfully in putting it into water. Got things ready for to-night, practised till dinner, and wrote journal. My father received a letter to-day, informing him that a cabal was forming by the friends of Miss Vincent and Miss Clifton (native talent!) to hiss us off the New York stage, if possible; if not, to send people in every night to create a disturbance during our best scenes: the letter is anonymous, and therefore little deserving of attention. After dinner, practised till time to go to the theatre. The house was very full; but what a cast! what a play! what botchers! what butchers! In his very first scene, the most christian king stuck fast; and there he stood, shifting his truncheon from hand to hand, rolling his eyes, gasping for breath, and struggling for words, like a man in the night-mare. I thought of Hamlet--"Leave thy damnable faces"--and was obliged to turn away. In the scene before Angiers, when the French and English heralds summon the citizens to the walls, the Frenchman applied his instrument to his mouth, uplifted his chest, distended his cheeks, and appeared to blow furiously; not a sound! he dropped his arm, and looked off the stage in discomfiture and indignation, when the perverse trumpet set up a blast fit to waken the dead,--the audience roared: it reminded me of the harp in the old ballad, that "began to play alone." Chatillon, on his return from England, begged to assure us that with King John was come the mother queen, an _Anty_ stirring him to blood and war. When Cardinal Pandulph came on, the people set up a shout, as usual: he was dreadfully terrified, poor thing; and all the time he spoke kept giving little nervous twitches to his sacred petticoat, in a fashion that was enough to make one die of laughter. He was as obstinate, too, in his bewilderment as a stuttering man in his incoherency; for once, when he stuck fast, having twitched his skirts, and thumped his breast in vain for some time, I thought it best, having to speak next, to go on; when, lo and behold! in the middle of my speech, the "scarlet sin" recovers his memory, and shouts forth the end of his own, to the utter confusion of my august self and the audience. I thought they never would have got through my last scene: king gazed at cardinal, and cardinal gazed at king; king nodded and winked at the prompter, spread out his hands, and remained with his mouth open: cardinal nodded and winked at the prompter, crossed his hands on his breast, and remained with his mouth open; neither of them uttering a syllable! What a scene! O, what a glorious scene! Came home as soon as my part was over. Supped, and sat up for my father. Heard his account of the end, and came to bed.[19]

_Wednesday, 3d._

Rose late. After breakfast, went to rehearsal: what a mess I do make of Bizarre! Ellen Tree and Mrs. Chatterly were angels to what I shall be, yet I remember thinking them both bad enough. After all, if people generally did but know the difficulty of doing well, they would be less damnatory upon those who do ill. It is not easy to act well. After rehearsal, went to Stewart's with D----. As we were proceeding up Broadway to Bonfanti's,[20] I saw a man in the strangest attitude imaginable, absolutely setting at us: presently he pounced, and who should it be but ----. He came into Bonfanti's with us, and afterwards insisted on escorting us to our various destinations; not, however, without manifold and deep lamentations on his slovenly appearance and dirty gloves. The latter, however, he managed to exchange, _chemin faisant_, for a pair of new ones, which he extracted from his pocket and drew on, without letting go our arms, which he squeezed most unmercifully during the operation. We went through a part of the town which I had never seen before. The shops have all a strange fair-like appearance, and exhibit a spectacle of heterogeneous disorder, which greatly amazes the eye of a Londoner. The comparative infancy in which most of the adornments of life are yet in this country, renders it impossible for the number of distinct trades to exist that do among us, where the population is so much denser, and where the luxurious indulgences of the few find ample occupation for the penurious industry of the many. But here, one man drives several trades; and in every shop you meet with a strange incongruous mixture of articles for sale, which would be found nowhere in England, but in the veriest village huckster's. Comparatively few of the objects for sale can be exposed in the windows, which are, unlike our shop windows, narrow and ill adapted for the display of goods: but piles of them lie outside the doors, choking up the pathway, and coloured cloths, flannels, shawls, etc., are suspended about in long draperies, whose vivid colours flying over the face of the houses give them an untidy, but at the same time a gay, flaunting appearance. We went into a shop to buy some stockings, and missing our _preux chevalier_, I turned round to look for him; when I perceived him beautifying most busily before a glass in a further corner of the shop. He had seized on a sort of house brush, and began brooming his hat: the next operation was to produce a small pocket-comb and arrange his disordered locks; lastly, he transferred the services of the brush of all work from his head to his feet, and having dusted his boots, drawn himself up in his surtout, buttoned its two lower buttons, and given a reforming grasp to his neckcloth, he approached us, evidently much advanced in his own good graces. We went to the furrier's, and brought away my dark boa. Came home, put out things for packing up, and remained so engaged till time to dress for dinner. Mr. and Mrs. ---- and Mr. ---- dined with us.

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Mr. ---- is an Englishman of the high breed, and sufficiently pleasant. After dinner we had to withdraw into our bed-room, for the house is so full that they can't cram any thing more into an inch of it.

Joined the gentlemen at tea. Mr. ---- had gone to the theatre: Mr. ---- and I had some music. He plays delightfully, and knows every note of music that ever was written; but he had the barbarity to make me sing a song of his own composing to him, which is a cruel thing in a man to do. He went away at about eleven, and we then came to bed. My father went to see Miss Clifton, at the Bowery theatre.

_Thursday, 4th._

Rose late. After breakfast, went to rehearsal: my Bizarre is getting a little more into shape. After rehearsal, came home. Mr. ---- and Mr. ---- called, and sat some time with me. The former is tolerably pleasant, but a little too fond of telling good stories that he has told before. Put out things for the theatre: dined at three. Colonel ---- called. Wrote journal: while doing so, was called out to look at my gown, which the worthy milliner had sent home.

I am, I am an angel! Witness it, heaven!
Witness it earth, and every being witness it!
The gown was spoil'd! Yet by immortal patience
I did not even fly into a passion.

She took it back to alter it. Presently arrived my wreath, and that had also to be taken back; for 't was nothing like what I had ordered. Now all this does not provoke me; but the thing that does, is the dreadful want of manners of the tradespeople here. They bolt into your room without knocking, nod to you, sit down, and without the preface of either Sir, Ma'am, or Miss, start off into "Well now, I'm come to speak about so and so." At six, went to the theatre; play, the Hunchback: the house was crammed from floor to ceiling. I had an intense headach, but played tolerably well. I wore my red satin, and looked like a bonfire. Came home and found Smith's Virginia, and two volumes of Graham's America, which I want to read. They charge twelve dollars for these: every thing is horribly dear here. Came to bed with my head splitting.

_Friday, 5th._

Played Bizarre for the first time. Acted so-so, looked very pretty, the house was very fine, and my father incomparable: they called for him after the play. Colonel ---- and Mr. ---- called in while we were at supper.

_Saturday, 6th._

Rose late: when I came in to breakfast, found Colonel ---- sitting in the parlour. He remained for a long time, and we had sundry discussions on topics manifold. It seems that the blessed people here were shocked at my having to hear the coarseness of Farquhar's Inconstant--humbug![21]

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At twelve, went out shopping, and paying bills; called upon Mrs. ----, and sat some time with her and Mrs. ----; left a card at Mrs. ----'s, and came home, prepared things for our journey, and dressed for dinner. On our way to Mr. ----'s, my father told me he had been seeing Miss Clifton, the girl they want him to teach to act; (to _teach_ to act, quotha!!!) He says, she is very pretty indeed, with fine eyes, a fair delicate skin, and a handsome mouth; moreover, a tall woman, and yet from the front of the house her effect is nought. What a pity, and a provoking! A pleasant dinner, very. Mr. ---- the poet, one Dr. ----, Colonel ----, and Mr. ----: the only woman was a Miss ----.

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----'s face reminded me of young ----: the countenance was not quite so good, but there was the same radiant look about the eyes and forehead. His expression was strongly sarcastic; I liked him very much notwithstanding. When we left the men, we had the pleasure of the children's society, and that of an unhappy kitten, whom a little pitiless urchin of three years old was carrying crumpled under her arm like a pincushion. The people here make me mad by abusing Lawrence's drawing of me. If ever there was a refined and intellectual work, where the might of genius triumphing over every material impediment has enshrined and embodied spirit itself, it is that. Talking of Lawrence, (poor Lawrence!) Mrs. ---- said, "Ah, yes! your picture by--a--Sir--something--Lawrence!" Oh, fame! oh, fame! Oh, vanity and vexation of spirit! does your eternity and your infinitude amount to this? There are lands where Shakspeare's name was never heard, where Raphael and Handel are unknown; to be sure, for the matter of that, there are regions (and those wide ones too) where Jesus Christ is unknown. At nine o'clock, went to the Richmond Hill theatre, to see the opening of the Italian company. The house itself is a pretty little box enough, but as bad as a box to sing in. We went to Mr. ----'s box, where he was kind enough to give us seats. The first act was over, but we had all the benefit of the second. I had much ado not to laugh: and when Mr. ----, that everlasting giggler, came and sat down beside me, I gave myself up for lost. However, I did behave, in spite of two blue-bottles of women, who by way of the sisters buzzed about the stage, singing enough to set one's teeth on edge. Then came a very tall Dandini; by the by, that man had a good bass voice, but Mr. ---- said it was the finest he had heard since _Zucchelli_. O tempora! O mores! Zucchelli, that prince of delicious baritones! However, as I said, the man has a good bass voice; there was also a sufficiently good Pompolino. Montresor banged himself about, broke his time, and made some execrable flourishes in the Prince, whereat the enlightened New Yorkians applauded mightily. But the Prima Donna! but the Cenerentola! Cospetto di Venere, what a figure, and what a face! Indeed she was the very thing for a lower housemaid, and I think the Prince was highly to blame for removing her from the station nature had evidently intended her for. She was old and ugly, and worse than ugly, unpardonably common-looking, with a cast in her eye, and a foot that, as Mr. ---- observed, it would require a _pretty considerable_ large glass slipper to fit. Then she sang--discords and dismay, how she did sing! I could not forbear stealing a glance at ----: he applauded the sestett vehemently; but when it came to that most touching "_nacqui al' affanno_," he wisely interposed his handkerchief between the stage and his gracious countenance. I thought of poor dear ----, and her sweet voice, and her refined taste, and shuddered to hear this favourite of hers bedevilled by such a Squalini. Now is it possible that people can be such fools as to fancy this good in spite of their senses, or such earless asses (that's a bull I suppose), as to suffer themselves to be persuaded that it is? Though why do I ask it? Oh yes, "very easily possible." Do not half the people in London spend money and time without end, enduring nightly penances--listening to what they can't understand, and couldn't appreciate if they did? I suppose if I shall allow a hundred out of the whole King's Theatre audience to know any thing whatever about music, I am wide in my grant of comprehension. There was that virtuous youth, Mr. ----, who evidently ranks as one of the cognoscenti here, who exclaimed triumphantly at the end of one of the perpetrations, "Well, after all, there's nothing like Rossini." Handel, Haydn, Mozart, Beethoven, and Weber, are _not_, that is certain.[22] I wish I could have seen Mr. ---- during that finale. Coming out, were joined by Mr. ----: brought him home in the carriage with us. Gave him "Ye mariners of Spain," and some cold tongue, to take the taste of the Cenerentola out of his mouth. He stayed some time. I like him enough: he is evidently a clever man, though he does murder the King's English. (By the by, does _English_, the tongue, belong, in America, to the King or the President--I wonder? I should rather think, from my limited observations, that it was the individual property of every freeborn citizen of the United States.) Now, what on earth can I say to the worthy citizens, if they ask me what I thought of the Italian opera? That it was very amusing--yes, that will do nicely; that will be true, and not too direct a condemnation of their good taste.

_Sunday, 7th._

Rose late. Young ---- breakfasted with us. How unfortunately plain he is! His voice is marvellously like his father's, and it pleased me to hear him speak therefore. He was talking to my father about the various southern and western theatres, and bidding us expect to meet strange coadjutors in those lost lands beyond the world. On one occasion, he said, when he was acting Richard the Third, some of the underlings kept their hats on while he was on the stage, whereat ---- remonstrated, requesting them in a whisper to uncover, as they were in the presence of a king; to which admonition he received the following characteristic reply: "Fiddlestick! I guess we know nothing about kings in this country." Colonel ---- called too; but D---- and I went off to church, and left my father to entertain them. Met Mr. ---- and Mr. ----, who were coming to fetch us: went to Mr. ----'s pew. The music was very delightful; but decidedly I do not like music in church. The less my senses are appealed to in the house of prayer, the better for me and my devotions. Although I have experienced excitement of a stern and martial, and sometimes of a solemn, nature, from music, yet these melt away, and its abiding influence with me is of a much softer kind: therefore, in church, I had rather dispense with it, particularly when they sing psalms, as they did to-day, to the tune of "Come dwell with me, and be my love." I did not like the sermon much; there was effect in it, painting, which I dislike. Staid the sacrament, the first I have taken in this strange land. Mr. ---- walked home with us: when he was gone, Mr. ---- and Mr. ---- called. When they had all taken their departure, settled accounts, wrote journal, wrote to my mother, came and put away sundry things, and dressed for dinner. My father dined with Mr. ----: D---- and I dined _tête-à-tête_. Colonel ---- came twice through the pouring rain to look after our baggage for to-morrow; such charity is unexampled.

_Monday, 8th._

Rose (oh, horror!) at a quarter to five. Night was still brooding over the earth. Long before I was dressed, the first voice I heard was that of Colonel ----, come to look after our luggage, and see us off. To lend my friend a thousand pounds (if I had it) I could--to lend him my horse, perhaps I might; but to get up in the middle of the night, and come dawdling in the grey cold hour of the morning upon damp quays, and among dusty packages, except for my own flesh and blood, I could not. Yet this worthy man did it for us; whence I pronounce that he must be half a Quaker himself, for no common episcopal benevolence could stretch this pitch. Dressed, and gathered together my things, and at six o'clock, just as the night was folding its soft black wings, and rising slowly from the earth, we took our departure from that mansion of little ease, the American, and our fellow-lodgers the ants, and proceeded to the Philadelphia steam-boat, which started from the bottom of Barclay Street. We were recommended to this American Hotel as the best and most comfortable in New York; and truly the charges were as high as one could have paid at the Clarendon, in the land of comfort and taxation. The wine was exorbitantly dear; champagne and claret about eleven shillings sterling a bottle; sherry, port, and madeira, from nine to thirteen. The rooms were a mixture of French finery and Irish disorder and dirt; the living was by no means good; the whole house being conducted on a close scraping system of inferior accommodations and extravagant charges. On a sudden influx of visiters, sitting-rooms were converted into bed-rooms, containing four and five beds. The number of servants was totally inadequate to the work; and the articles of common use, such as knives and spoons, were so scantily provided, that when the public table was very full one day, the knives and forks for our dinner were obliged to be washed from theirs; and the luxury of a carving-knife was not to be procured at all on that occasion: it is true that they had sometimes as many as two hundred and fifty guests at the ordinary. The servants, who, as I said before, were just a quarter as many as the house required, had no bed-rooms allotted to them, but slept _about_ any where, in the public rooms, or on sofas in drawing-rooms, let to private families. In short, nothing can exceed the want of order, propriety, and comfort in this establishment, except the enormity of the tribute it levies upon pilgrims and wayfarers through the land.[23] And so, as I said, we departed therefrom nothing loath.

The morning was dull, dreary, and damp, which I regretted very much. The steam-boat was very large and commodious, as all these conveyances are. I enquired of one of the passengers what the power of the engine was: he replied that he did not exactly know, but that he thought it was about forty-horse power; and that, when going at speed, the engine struck thirty times in a minute: this appeared to me a great number in so short a time; but the weather shortly became wet and drizzly, and I did not remain on deck to observe. My early rising had made me very sleepy, so I came down to the third deck to sleep. These steam-boats have three stories; the upper one is, as it were, a roofing or terrace on the leads of the second, a very desirable station when the weather is neither too foul nor too fair; a burning sun being, I should think, as little desirable there as a shower of rain. The second floor or deck has the advantage of the ceiling above, and yet, the sides being completely open, it is airy, and allows free sight of the shores on either hand. Chairs, stools, and benches, are the furniture of these two decks. The one below, or third floor downwards, in fact, the _ground floor_, being the one near the water, is a spacious room completely roofed and walled in, where the passengers take their meals, and resort if the weather is unfavourable. At the end of this room is a smaller cabin for the use of the ladies, with beds and a sofa, and all the conveniences necessary, if they should like to be sick; whither I came and slept till breakfast time. Vigne's account of the pushing, thrusting, rushing, and devouring on board a western steam-boat at meal times had prepared me for rather an awful spectacle; but this, I find, is by no means the case in these more civilised parts, and every thing was conducted with perfect order, propriety, and civility. The breakfast was good, and served and eaten with decency enough. Came up on the upper deck, and walked about with my father. The width of the river struck me as remarkable; but the shores were flat, and for the most part uninteresting, except for the rich and various tints which the thickets of wood presented, and which are as superior in brilliancy and intenseness to our autumnal colouring as their gorgeous skies are to ours. Opposite the town of Amboy, the Raritan opens into a magnificent lake-like expanse round the extreme point of Staten Island.[24] As the shores on either side, however, were not very interesting, I finished reading Combe's book. There is much sound philosophy in it; but I do not think it altogether establishes the main point that he wishes to make good--the truth of phrenology, and the necessity of its being adopted as the only science of the human mind. His general assertions admit of strong individual exceptions, which, I think, go far towards invalidating the generality. However, 'tis not a full development of his own system, but, as it were, only an introduction to it; and his own admissions of the obscurity and uncertainty in which that system is still involved necessarily enforces a suspension of judgment, until its practical results have become more manifest, and in some measure borne witness to the truth of his theory. At about half-past ten we reached the place where we leave the river, to proceed across a part of the State of New Jersey to the Delaware. The landing was beyond measure wretched: the shore shelved down to the water's edge; and its marshy, clayey, sticky soil, rendered doubly soft and squashy by the damp weather, was strewn over with broken potsherds, stones, and bricks, by way of pathway; these, however, presently failed, and some slippery planks half immersed in mud were the only roads to the coaches that stood ready to receive the passengers of the steam-boat. Oh, these coaches! English eye hath not seen, English ear hath not heard, nor hath it entered into the heart of Englishmen to conceive the surpassing clumsiness and wretchedness of these leathern inconveniences. They are shaped something like boats, the sides being merely leathern pieces, removable at pleasure, but which, in bad weather, are buttoned down, to protect the inmates from the wet. There are three seats in this machine; the middle one, having a movable leathern strap, by way of a dossier, runs between the carriage doors, and lifts away to permit the egress and ingress of the occupants of the other seats. Into the one facing the horses D---- and I put ourselves; presently two young ladies occupied the opposite one; a third lady, and a gentleman of the same party, sat in the middle seat, into which my father's huge bulk was also squeezed; finally, another man belonging to the same party ensconced himself between the two young ladies. Thus the two seats were filled, each with three persons, and there should by rights have been a third on ours; for this nefarious black hole on wheels is intended to carry nine. However, we profited little by the space, for, letting alone that there is not really and truly room for more than two human beings of common growth and proportions on each of these seats, the third place was amply filled up with baskets and packages of ours, and huge _undoubleableup_ coats and cloaks of my father's.

For the first few minutes I thought I must have fainted from the intolerable sensation of smothering which I experienced. However, the leathers having been removed, and a little more air obtained, I took heart of grace, and resigned myself to my fate. Away wallopped the four horses, trotting with their front and galloping with their hind legs; and away went we after them, bumping, thumping, jumping, jolting, shaking, tossing, and tumbling, over the wickedest road, I do think the cruellest hard-heartedest road, that ever wheel rumbled upon. Thorough bog and marsh, and ruts wider and deeper than any christian ruts I ever saw, with the roots of trees protruding across our path; their boughs every now and then giving us an affectionate scratch through the windows; and, more than once, a half-demolished trunk or stump lying in the middle of the road lifting us up, and letting us down again, with most awful variations of our poor coach body from its natural position. Bones of me! what a road![25] Even my father's solid proportions could not keep their level, but were jerked up to the roof and down again every three minutes. Our companions seemed nothing dismayed by these wondrous performances of a coach and four, but laughed and talked incessantly, the young ladies, at the very top of their voices, and with the national nasal twang.[26] The conversation was much of the _genteel_ shopkeeper kind; the wit of the ladies, and the gallantry of the gentlemen, savouring strongly of tapes and yard measures, and the shrieks of laughter of the whole set enough to drive one into a frenzy. The ladies were all pretty; two of them particularly so, with delicate fair complexions, and beautiful grey eyes: how I wish they could have held their tongues for two minutes! We had not long been in the coach before one of them complained of being dreadfully sick.[27] This, in such a space, and with seven near neighbours! Fortunately she was near the window; and during our whole fourteen miles of purgatory she alternately leaned from it overcome with sickness, then reclined languishingly in the arms of her next neighbour, and then, starting up with amazing vivacity, joined her voice to the treble duet of her two pretty companions, with a superiority of shrillness that might have been the pride and envy of Billingsgate. 'Twas enough to bother a rookery! The country through which we passed was woodland, flat, and without variety, save what it derived from the wondrous richness and brilliancy of the autumnal foliage. Here indeed decay is beautiful; and nature appears more gorgeously clad in this her fading mantle, than in all the summer's flush of bloom in our less-favoured climates.[28] I noted several beautiful wild flowers growing among the underwood; some of which I have seen adorning with great dignity our most cultivated gardens.[29] None of the trees had any size or appearance of age: they are the second growth, which have sprung from the soil once possessed by a mightier race of vegetables. The quantity of mere underwood, and the number of huge black stumps rising in every direction a foot or two from the soil, bear witness to the existence of fine forest timber. The few cottages and farm-houses which we passed reminded me of similar dwellings in France and Ireland; yet the peasantry here have not the same excuse for disorder and dilapidation as either the Irish or French. The farms had the same desolate, untidy, untended look: the gates broken, the fences carelessly put up, or ill repaired; the farming-utensils sluttishly scattered about a littered yard, where the pigs seemed to preside by undisputed right; house-windows broken, and stuffed with paper or clothes; dishevelled women, and barefooted anomalous-looking human young things; none of the stirring life and activity which such places present in England and Scotland; above all, none of the enchanting mixture of neatness, order, and rustic elegance and comfort, which render so picturesque the surroundings of a farm, and the various belongings of agricultural labour in my own dear country.[30] The fences struck me as peculiar; I never saw any such in England. They are made of rails of wood placed horizontally, and meeting at obtuse angles, so forming a zig-zag wall of wood, which runs over the country like the herring-bone seams of a flannel petticoat. At each of the angles two slanting stakes, considerably higher than the rest of the fence, were driven into the ground, crossing each other at the top, so as to secure the horizontal rails in their position.[31]

There was every now and then a soft vivid strip of turf, along the road-side, that made me long for a horse. Indeed the whole road would have been a delightful ride, and was a most bitter drive. At the end of fourteen miles we turned into a swampy field, the whole fourteen coachfuls of us, and, by the help of Heaven, bag and baggage were packed into the coaches which stood on the rail-way ready to receive us. The carriages were not drawn by steam, like those on the Liverpool rail-way, but by horses, with the mere advantage in speed afforded by the iron ledges, which, to be sure, compared with our previous progress through the ruts, was considerable. Our coachful got into the first carriage of the train, escaping, by way of especial grace, the dust which one's predecessors occasion. This vehicle had but two seats, in the usual fashion; each of which held four of us. The whole inside was lined with blazing scarlet leather, and the windows _shaded_ with stuff curtains of the same refreshing colour; which, with full complement of passengers, on a fine, sunny, American summer's day, must make as pretty a little miniature hell as may be, I should think. The baggage-waggon, which went before us, a little obstructed the view. The road was neither pretty nor picturesque; but still fringed on each side with the many-coloured woods, whose rich tints made variety even in sameness. This rail-road is an infinite blessing; 'tis not yet finished, but shortly will be so, and then the whole of that horrible fourteen miles will be performed in comfort and decency in less than half the time. In about an hour and a half we reached the end of our rail-road part of the journey, and found another steam-boat waiting for us, when we all embarked on the Delaware. Again, the enormous width of the river struck me with astonishment and admiration. Such huge bodies of water mark out the country through which they run, as the future abode of the most extensive commerce and greatest maritime power in the universe. The banks presented much the same features as those of the Raritan, though they were not quite so flat, and more diversified with scattered dwellings, villages, and towns. We passed Bristol and Burlington, stopping at each of them to take up passengers.[32] I sat working, having finished my book, not a little discomfited by the pertinacious staring of some of my fellow-travellers. One woman, in particular, after wandering round me in every direction, at last came and sat down opposite me, and literally gazed me out of countenance. One improvement they have adopted on board these boats is to forbid smoking, except in the fore part of the vessel. I wish they would suggest that, if the gentlemen would refrain from spitting about too, it would be highly agreeable to the female part of the community. The universal practice here of this disgusting trick makes me absolutely sick: every place is made a perfect piggery of--street, stairs, steam-boat, everywhere--and behind the scenes; on the stage at rehearsal I have been shocked and annoyed beyond expression by this horrible custom. To-day, on board the boat, it was a perfect shower of saliva all the time; and I longed to be released from my fellowship with these very obnoxious chewers of tobacco.[33] At about four o'clock we reached Philadelphia, having performed the journey between that and New York (a distance of a hundred miles) in less than ten hours, in spite of bogs, ruts, and all other impediments. The manager came to look after us and our goods; and we were presently stowed into a coach, which conveyed us to the Mansion House, the best-reputed inn in Philadelphia. On asking for our bed-rooms, they showed D---- and myself into a double-bedded room. On my remonstrating against this, the chambermaid replied, that they were not accustomed to allow lodgers so _much room_ as a room apiece. However, upon my insisting, they gave me a little nest just big enough to turn about in, but where, at least, I can be by myself. Dressed, and dined at five; after dinner, wrote journal till tea-time, and then came to bed.

_Tuesday, 9th._

Rose at half-past eight. Went and took a bath. On my way thither, drove through two melancholy-looking squares, which reminded me a little of poor old Queen Square in Bristol. The ladies' baths were closed, but, as I was not particular, they gave me one in the part of the house usually allotted to the men's use. I was much surprised to find two baths in one room, but it seems to me that the people of this country have an aversion to solitude, whether eating, sleeping, or under any other circumstances.

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I made acquaintance with a bewitching Newfoundland puppy, whom I greatly coveted. Came home, dressed, and breakfasted. After breakfast, righted my things, and wrote journal. Took a walk with my father through some of the principal streets. The town is perfect silence and solitude, compared with New York; there is a greater air of age about it too, which pleases me. The red houses are not so fiercely red, nor the white facings so glaringly white; in short, it has not so new and flaunting a look, which is a great recommendation to me. The city is regularly built, the streets intersecting each other at right angles. We passed one or two pretty buildings in pure white marble, and the Bank in Chestnut Street, which is a beautiful little copy of the Parthenon. The pure, cold, clear-looking marble suits well with the severe and unadorned style of architecture; and is in harmony, too, with the extreme brilliancy of the sky, and clearness of the atmosphere of this country.[34] We passed another larger building, also a bank, in the Corinthian style, which did not please me so much. The shops here are much better looking than those at New York: the windows are larger, and more advantageously constructed for the display of goods; and there did not appear to be the same anomalous mixture of vendibles, as in the New York shops. The streets were very full of men hurrying to the town-house, to give their votes. It is election time, and much excitement subsists with regard to the choice of the future President.[35] The democrats or radicals are for the re-election of General Jackson, but the aristocratic party, which here at all events is the strongest, are in favour of Henry Clay. Here is the usual quantity of shouting and breaking windows that we are accustomed to on these occasions. I saw a caricature of Jackson and Van Buren, his chief supporter, which was entitled "The King and his Minister." Van Buren held a crown in his hand, and the devil was approaching Jackson with a sceptre.--Came in at half-past four, dressed for dinner: they gave us an excellent one. The master of this house was, it seems, once a man of independent fortune, and a great _bon vivant_. He has retained from thence a fellow-feeling for his guests, and does by them as he would be done by. After dinner, worked till tea-time; after tea, wrote journal, and now I'll go to bed. We are attended here by a fat old lively negro, by name Henry, who canters about in our behalf with great alacrity, and seems wrapt in much wonderment at many of our proceedings. By the by, the black who protected our baggage from the steam-boat was ycleped _Oliver Cromwell_. I have begun Grahame's History of America, and like it "mainly," as the old plays say.

_Wednesday, 10th._

Rose at eight. After breakfast, trimmed a cap, and wrote to dear ----. The streets were in an uproar all night, people shouting and bonfires blazing; in short, electioneering fun, which seems to be pretty much the same all the world over. Clay has it hollow here, they say: I wonder what Colonel ---- will say to that. At twelve o'clock, sallied forth with D---- to rehearsal. The theatre is very pretty; not large but well sized, and, I should think, favourably constructed for the voice.

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