Chapter VIII: A Third Term for Our Emperor 63

IX. Hon. Modesty: Is it a Disease? 71

X. Spring 80

XI. Education in American Language 90

XII. The Visit of the Fleet to San Francisco 98

XIII. Flighty Navigation of Air 107

XIV. The Conventional Meeting of Reps in Chicago 118

XV. America’s Bang up Ceremony 128

XVI. Can Africa Wait till March 4th? 138

XVII. The Hon. Gasolene 149

XVIII. America’s Base Game of Ball 159

XIX. Is a Vice-Pres Nearly a King? 169

XX. My Conception of the Presidency 179

XXI. How American Advertisement Does It 189

XXII. Olympus Games and International Cement 196

XXIII. Outside Exercises for Health 207

XXIV. Can Hon. North Pole be Detected? 218

XXV. High Tariff on Princes 227

XXVI. The Servant Problemb 237

XXVII. The Feetsteps of Science 247

XXVIII. The Hon. Mars 256

XXIX. Standard Oiling across Party Lines 265

XXX. The Hon. Bomb 275

XXXI. Enjoyment of Hunger Among Poor Mans 285

XXXII. The Alcoholic Temperance Movement 295

XXXIII. The Saloon in Our Town 304

XXXIV. Election Day 313

XXXV. Fall Hats and the Ladies Inside of Them 323

XXXVI. Feetball for Mollycuddles 333

XXXVII. Will Hon. So. Dakota Be a Blissful Married State? 342

XXXVIII. Hon. Mary Christmas 352

XXXIX. The Annual New Year 363

CHARACTERS CAST UP BY THIS BOOK

HASHIMURA TOGO—35-year aged Japanese Schoolboy.

COUSIN NOGI—educated in horseracing & relidgeon.

ARTHUR KICKAHAJAMA—missionary boy.

HON. STRUNSKY—Irish salooner.

UNCLE NICHI—Japanese strawseed who come to America to be less
so.

MRS. LUSY MACDONALD—complete angel of 286 pounds beauty.

LITTLE ANNIE ANAZUMA—of kindergarten intelligence.