Chapter XXXI: Letter 185: To Mr. Rogers

"June 19. 1814.

"I am always obliged to trouble you with my awkwardnesses, and now
I have a fresh one. Mr. W.[36] called on me several times, and I
have missed the honour of making his acquaintance, which I regret,
but which _you_, who know my desultory and uncertain habits, will
not wonder at, and will, I am sure, attribute to any thing but a
wish to offend a person who has shown me much kindness, and
possesses character and talents entitled to general respect. My
mornings are late, and passed in fencing and boxing, and a variety
of most unpoetical exercises, very wholesome, &c., but would be
very disagreeable to my friends, whom I am obliged to exclude
during their operation. I never go out till the evening, and I
have not been fortunate enough to meet Mr. W. at Lord Lansdowne's
or Lord Jersey's, where I had hoped to pay him my respects.

"I would have written to him, but a few words from you will go
further than all the apologetical sesquipedalities I could muster
on the occasion. It is only to say that, without intending it, I
contrive to behave very ill to every body, and am very sorry for
it.

"Ever, dear R.," &c.

[Footnote 36: Mr. Wrangham.]

* * * * *

The following undated notes to Mr. Rogers must have been written about the same time:--

"Sunday.

"Your non-attendance at Corinne's is very _à propos_, as I was on
the eve of sending you an excuse. I do not feel well enough to go
there this evening, and have been obliged to despatch an apology. I
believe I need not add one for not accepting Mr. Sheridan's
invitation on Wednesday, which I fancy both you and I understood in
the same sense:--with him the saying of Mirabeau, that '_words_ are
_things_,' is not to be taken literally.

"Ever," &c.

"I will call for you at a quarter before _seven_, if that will suit
you. I return you Sir Proteus[37], and shall merely add in return,
as Johnson said of, and to, somebody or other, 'Are we alive after
all this censure?'

"Believe me," &c.

[Footnote 37: A satirical pamphlet, in which all the writers of the day were attacked.]

"Tuesday.

"Sheridan was yesterday, at first, too sober to remember your
invitation, but in the dregs of the third bottle he fished up his
memory. The Staël out-talked Whitbread, was _ironed_ by Sheridan,
confounded Sir Humphry, and utterly perplexed your slave. The rest
(great names in the red book, nevertheless,) were mere segments of
the circle. Ma'mselle danced a Russ saraband with great vigour,
grace, and expression.

"Ever," &c.

* * * * *

TO MR. MURRAY.

"June 21. 1814.

"I suppose 'Lara' is gone to the devil,--which is no great matter,
only let me know, that I may be saved the trouble of copying the
rest, and put the first part into the fire. I really have no
anxiety about it, and shall not be sorry to be saved the copying,
which goes on very slowly, and may prove to you that you may _speak
out_--or I should be less sluggish. Yours," &c.

* * * * *