Chapter I: Front Matter

EDITED BY R. BRIMLEY JOHNSON

BY W. B. RAND ILLUSTRATED BY CHAS. ROBINSON

JOHN LANE

THE BODLEY HEAD.

LONDON & NEW YORK. 1899]

Lillput Lyrics

THE EDITOR’S NOTE

_The following verses have been selected from “Lilliput Levee,” 1868, and from W. B. Rands’ numerous contributions to magazines.[A] He wrote_ _under many signatures, never enumerated; but--with the generous assistance of his son, Mr. Paul W. Rands, and his publisher, Mr. Alexander Strahan--I have been able to identify and examine all his work. Three poems are included, by permission, from the reprint of “Lilliput Lectures,” which I lately edited for Mr. James Bowden. Messrs. Dalziel have allowed me to use one from “Hood’s Comic Annual.” All other rights belonged to Mr. Strahan, and have been transferred, with the full concurrence of Mr. P. W. Rands, to Mr. John Lane for this volume. Nothing has been included from “Innocent’s Island,” which we hope to reprint shortly with some of the “Lilliput Revels.”

These are poems for children, with whom Rands was always at his best, and have been chosen in remembrance of their tastes and understandings. As many of them are printed from magazines and never received the author’s final revision, I have occasionally edited the text, without scruple, by omitting weak lines or even altering a word._

_R. B. J._

The End of the Editor’s Note

[A] _A portion of the Introductory Verses to “Lilliput Legends” is also included._

_RAT-TAT! the postman knocks!_
_This is the Lilliput letter-box._
_A penny for your thoughts, my dear!_
_So said the Raven in Odin’s ear._
_Here comes a letter from Thing-a-my-Bob,_
_A letter from Ruth, a letter from Rob._
_Rat-tat! the postman knocks!_
_This is the Lilliput letter-box._

CONTENTS

_LYRICS_

_Lilliput Levee_ _Page_ 17

_Doll Poems_

1. _The Picture_ 24

2. _The Love Story_ 25

3. _Dressing Her_ 27

_The Little Doll’s House in Arcady_ 30

_The Pedlar’s Caravan_ 35

_The First Tooth_ 37

_Praise and Love_ 40

_Two Pictures_ 43

_The Ship that Sailed into the Sun_ 46

_The Young Exile_ 48

_The Coming Storm_ 51

_The Discontented Yew-Tree_ 52

_The Little Brother_ 55

_Cuckoo in the Pear-Tree_ 57

_Madcap_ 59

_The Bewitched Toys; or, Queen Mab in Child-World_ 65

_The New World_ 72

_Lina and her Lamb_ 75

_The Boy that Loves a Baby_ 78

_Harold and Alice; or, The Reformed Giant_ 81

_Prince Philibert_ 91

_Gold-Boy and Green-Girl_ 94

_At Harvest-Time_ 97

_See-Saw_ 99

_Great, Wide, Beautiful, Wonderful World_ 101

_Kittens and Chickens_ 103

_The Making of the Music_ 106

_The Race of the Flowers_ 109

_Polly_ 112

_The Windmill_ 116

_The Girl that Garibaldi Kissed_ 118

_Seeing God_ 122

_Fair Lady, Rare Lady_ 124

_The Absent Boy_ 126

_Morning_ 129

_The Rising, Watching Moon_ 131

_The Flowers_ 133

_The Penance of the Little Maid_ 135

_Frodgedobbulum’s Fancy_ 137

_The Guinea-Pig_ 148

_Little Boy Blue_ 150

_Miss Hooper_ 152

_A Shooting Song_ 156

_A Fishing Song_ 158

_Shockheaded Cicely and the Two Bears_ 161

_Mother’s Joy_ 168

_The Baby_ 170

_What will Auntie send?_ 173

_Lords-and-Ladies_ 176

_The Dog and the Patch of Moonshine_ 178

_Autumn Song_ 182

_The Drummer-Boy and the Shepherdess_ 184

_Lullaby_ 186

_Clean Clara_ 188

_The Lavender Beds_ 191

_LITTLE DITTIES_ 194

_BABY’S BELLS_ 237

_NONSENSE RHYMES_

_Tuesday_ 279

_Jolly Jack_ 281

_The Duck and her Ducklings_ 282

_Little Ben Bute_ 284

_The Dream of a Girl who Lived at Seven-Oaks_ 286

_The Dream of a Boy who Lived at Nine-Elms_ 287

_Four Little Histories_ 289

_A Big Noise_ 294

_The Alarm_ 295

_Cicero Brick_ 297

_The Obstinate Cow_ 301

_Lavender Lady_ 304

_Odd Rhymes_ 311

_Topsyturvey-World_ 316

_Miss Waver_ 319

_Jeremy Jangle_ 320

_Stalky Jack_ 322

_The Fiddler and the Crocodile_ 324

_L’Envoi_ 330

Lyrics

LILLIPUT LEVEE

Where does Pinafore Palace stand?
Right in the middle of Lilliput-land!
There the Queen eats bread-and-honey,
There the King counts up his money!

Oh, the Glorious Revolution!
Oh, the Provisional Constitution!
Now that the children, clever bold folks,
Have turned the tables upon the Old Folks!

Easily the thing was done,
For the children were more than two to one;
Brave as lions, quick as foxes,
With hoards of wealth in their money-boxes!

They seized the keys, they patrolled the street,
They drove the policeman off his beat,
They built barricades, they stationed sentries--
You must give the word, when you come to the entries!

They dressed themselves, in the Riflemen’s clothes,
They had pea-shooters, they had arrows and bows,
So as to put resistance down--
Order regions in Lilliput-town!

They made the baker bake hot rolls,
They made the wharfinger send in coals,
They made the butcher kill the calf,
They cut the telegraph-wires in half.

They went to the chemists, and with their feet
They kicked the physic all down the street;
They went to the schoolroom and tore the books,
They munched the puffs at the pastrycook’s.

They sucked the jam, they lost the spoons,
They sent up several fire-balloons,
They let off crackers, they burnt a guy,
They piled a bonfire ever so high.

They offered a prize for the laziest boy,
And one for the most Magnificent toy;
They split or burnt the canes offhand,
They made new laws in Lilliput-land.

_Never do to-day what you can
Put off till to-morrow_, one of them ran;
_Late to bed and late to rise_
Was another law which they did devise.

They passed a law to have always plenty
Of beautiful things: we shall mention twenty:
A magic lantern for all to see,
Rabbits to keep, and a Christmas-tree,

A boat, a house that went on wheels,
An organ to grind, and sherry at meals,
Drums and wheelbarrows, Roman candles,
Whips with whistles let into the handles,

A real live giant, a roc to fly,
A goat to tease, a copper to sky,
A garret of apples, a box of paints,
A saw and a hammer, and no complaints.

Nail up the door, slide down the stairs,
Saw off the legs of the parlour chairs--
That was the way in Lilliput-land,
The children having the upper hand.

They made the Old Folks come to school,
And in pinafores,--that was the rule,--
Saying, _Eener-deener-diner-duss,
Kattler-wheeler-whiler-wuss_;

They made them learn all sorts of things
That nobody liked. They had catechisings;
They kept them in, they sent them down
In class, in school, in Lilliput-town.

O but they gave them tit-for-tat!
Thick bread-and-butter, and all that;
Stick-jaw pudding that tires your chin,
With the marmalade spread ever so thin!

They governed the clock in Lilliput-land,
They altered the hour or the minute-hand,
They made the day fast, they made the day slow,
Just as they wished the time to go.

They never waited for king or for cat;
They never wiped their shoes on the mat;
Their joy was great; their joy was greater;
They rode in the baby’s perambulator!

There was a Levee in Lilliput-town,
At Pinafore Palace. Smith and Brown,
Jones and Robinson had to attend--
All to whom they cards did send.

Every one rode in a cab to the door;
Every one came in a pinafore;
Lady and gentleman, rat-tat-tat,
Loud knock, proud knock, opera hat!

The place was covered with silver and gold,
The place was as full as it ever could hold;
The ladies kissed her Majesty’s hand,
Such was the custom in Lilliput-land.

His Majesty knighted eight or ten,
Perhaps a score, of the gentlemen,
Some of them short and some of them tall--
_Arise, Sir What’s-a-name What-do-you-call_!

Nuts and nutmeg (that’s in the negus);
The bill of fare would perhaps fatigue us;
Forty-five fiddlers to play the fiddle;
Right foot, left foot, down the middle.

Conjuring tricks with the poker and tongs,
Riddles and forfeits, singing of songs;
One fat man, too fat by far,
Tried “Twinkle, twinkle, little star.”

His voice was gruff, his pinafore tight,
His wife said, “Mind, dear, sing it right,”
But he forgot, and said Fa-la-la!
The Queen of Lilliput’s own papa!

She frowned, and ordered him up to bed:
He said he was sorry; she shook her head;
His clean shirt-front with his tears was stained--
But discipline had to be maintained.

The Constitution! The Law! The Crown!
Order reigns in Lilliput-town!
The Queen is Jill, and the King is John;
I trust the Government will get on.

I noticed, being a man of rhymes,
An advertisement in the _Lilliput Times_:--
“PINAFORE PALACE. This is to state
That the Court is in want of a Laureate.

“Nothing menial required.
Poets, willing to be hired,
May send in Specimens at once,
Care of the Chamberlain DOUBLEDUNCE.”

Said I to myself Here’s a chance for me
The Lilliput Laureate for to be!
And these are the Specimens I sent in
To Pinafore Palace. Shall I win?

PUBLIC NOTICE.--_This is to state_
_That these are the specimens left at the gate_
_Of Pinafore Palace, exact to date,_
_In the hands of the porter, Curlypate,_
_Who sits in his plush on a chair of state,_
_By the gentleman who is a candidate_
_For the office of_ LILLIPUT LAUREATE.

DOLL POEMS

I

THE PICTURE

This is her picture--Dolladine--
The beautifullest doll that ever was seen!
Oh, what nosegays! Oh, what sashes!
Oh, what beautiful eyes and lashes!

Oh, what a precious perfect pet!
On each instep a pink rosette;
Little blue shoes for her little blue tots;
Elegant ribbons in bows and knots.

Her hair is powdered; her arms are straight,
Only feel--she is quite a weight!
Her legs are limp, though;--stand up, miss!--
What a beautiful buttoned-up mouth to kiss!