Chapter XXI: Twentieth Century Inventions

The Wonderful Automatic Valet,--a faithful servant and
silent friend. A Balloon-car Accident,--twelve thrown out and
killed. Excursion to the Moon. Woman Worship in France. Ready
Digested Dinners. Highly nutritious pellets for noon lunch. Ice
cream pills become popular; also delicious fruit pellets.

If some wide-awake American genius in 1999 had invented an electrical breathing machine his invention would have been well patronized. By the use of electrical appliances, manual labor had been reduced to a minimum. The electric automobiles, ærodromes, ærocycles, electric bicycles and hundreds of mechanical appliances used as labor saving machinery, really invited laziness. If a breathing apparatus had been invented in 1999 its sales would have been phenomenal.

In support of this statement we reproduce, herewith, an article taken from the Scientific American, under date of May 28, 1999, as follows:

THE UNIQUE MECHANICAL FIGURE THAT DOES EVERYTHING BUT FEED
ITS OWNER.

Some years ago the need of a machine which would dress persons on
arising from bed, make their toilet and prepare them for breakfast,
or a stroll on the street, was generally felt.

Several attempts were made to supply this want, but nothing
was perfected until M. Pantalon announced the completion of
his automatic valet. This machine was shaped very much like an
ordinary man, except that it was built on an absolutely square
plan. There were two upholstered legs, on which reposed a heavy,
square chest, and above the chest was the head, also square and
resembling a block.

Mechanism of the Valet.

The machinery was directly in the center of the body-chest,
controlling the movement of the legs and arms, the latter being
round, four jointed and twenty-seven inches long. Instead of a
face, the head bore a dial, on which the hour was depicted. The
whole valet was wound up by a small crank in the back. If a man
wished to be aroused, at, let it be said, 8 o'clock in the morning,
he adjusted the alarm button on a small dial on the face of the
large clock at that hour.

Promptly at 8 o'clock the alarm in the head of the valet exploded,
waking the sleeper. The first movement on the part of the valet
after the alarm had sounded was to move quickly but noiselessly in
the direction of the bath-room, where, by automatic stoppers, the
water is set running, stopping instantly on the tub being filled.

An Automatic Bath.

After turning on the water the valet moved back to the bed, threw
the covers aside, and with one of its automatic arms gently lifted
the man from his resting place, conveyed him to the bath-room,
laid his night robes aside and immersed him. The bath completed,
the valet drew from its chest-cupboard two fresh-towels, with
which it briskly rubbed the bather, and then again lifting him up
carried him back into the bedroom, where it proceeded to dress him
in clothes which had been laid in a certain place the night before.

From its automatic chest the valet took comb, brush and whisk
broom, and in less time than would be ordinarily consumed in
telling about it, the toilet was completed. A feature of the
invention, as perfected by Pantalon, was the arrangement on the
time dial by which the speed of the valet could be regulated,
and a man could be dressed quickly or slowly, as he preferred. For
busy men, M. Pantalon has invented valets that do the business in
less than three minutes, including bath. The chief value of these
valets is that, not being human, they cannot gossip, and every man
may become a hero to his valet, provided the valet is automatic.

In 1999 the mania for saving time and obtaining rapid results simply knew no bounds. It is a wonder that the inventive genius of the Yankees was not applied to the perfection of some machine that would compel the universe to rotate more rapidly upon its axis. So great was the rush of human affairs that people found little time [Nutritious Pellets for Lunch.] to eat. The feverish, mad rush of the age was intense. No better proof of this can be found than in the success of a peculiar enterprise, which in 1899 would have proved a flat failure. In the good old days of 1899 people at least took time to eat, but in 1999 a big company was capitalized to manufacture and sell Ready Digested Dinners. In order to save time, people often dined on a pill,--a small pellet which contained highly nutritious food. They had little inclination to stretch their legs under a table for an hour at a time while masticating an eight-course dinner.

The busy man in 1999 took a soup-pill or a concentrated meat-pill for his noon day lunch. He dispatched these while working at his desk. His fair typewriter enjoyed her office lunch in the same manner. Ice-cream pills were very popular,--all flavors, also the fruit pellets. These the blonde and brunette typewriters of 1999 preferred to the bouillon or consommé pellets.