Chapter XXVII: Children (2)

Babies do not thrive without good air. Keep the room well ventilated at all times by admitting fresh air from a source that will produce no draughts. It is not necessary to have the baby's room warm. In fact a cool room is better. When the child is to be exposed to the air, take it into a warm room. Soft coverings will keep the infant warm. The limbs should be free so that exercise can be had through unrestricted movements.

The baby should not be bothered unnecessarily. Young parents make the mistake of using the baby for show purposes. For the sake of politeness, others praise the "only baby in the world" unduly, though there are millions of others just as good. Let the child alone, thus giving it an opportunity to become as superior as the parents think it is. The showing off process creates excitement and lays the foundation for fretfulness, irritability and nervousness. The child thrives in a peaceful atmosphere. When it is awake it is well to talk to it quietly and soothingly, for thus the infant begins to learn its mother's tongue. Good language should be employed. Those who teach their children baby-talk are handicapping them, for they will soon have to unlearn this and learn real language. Baby-talk may be "cute" at eighteen months, but when children retain that mode of expression beyond the age of four or five it sounds silly.

At about the age of nine or ten months the breast-fed babe should be weaned. Gradual weaning is perhaps the best. First give one feeding of cow's milk a day and two breast feeds; then two feedings of cow's milk and one at the breast, and at last cow's milk entirely. Between the ages of nine and twelve months begin giving starchy foods. At first the child will take very little, and gradually increase. Give bread so stale that the child has to soak it with its saliva before it can swallow the bread. Working away this way, sucking the stale bread, the child learns to go through the motions of chewing, and this is valuable training. Never give bread soaked in milk and never feed milk while bread is being eaten. If the meal is to be bread and milk, give the bread either before any milk is taken, or afterwards. Starches are not to be washed down with liquids. Instead of giving stale bread, zwieback may be used. Occasionally feed a few spoons of very thin and well cooked oatmeal or whole wheat gruel, but the less sloppy food given the better, for it does not get the proper mouth treatment. The wheat products fed the child should be made from whole wheat flour, or at least three-fourths whole wheat and only one-fourth of the white flour. The refined flour is lacking in the salts that the child needs for health and growth.

Many mothers begin feeding starches when the baby is four or five months old. The child is given potatoes, bread or any other starchy food that may be on the table. This is a mistake, for the child is not prepared to digest starches at that early age. Some of the digestive ferments are practically absent during the first few months of life. Such feeding will invariably cause trouble. The baby should not be taken to the table.

It is quite generally believed that a baby should cry to exercise its lungs. A healthy, comfortable baby will do little or no crying, and it is not necessary. It is not difficult to give the little ones some exercise to fill their lungs. Babies can hang on to a finger or a thin rod tenaciously. Elevate the infant that does not cry thus a few times above the bed and let it hang for a few seconds each time. This throws the chest forward and exercises the lungs. What is more, this small amount of gymnastic work is thoroughly enjoyed. It helps to build strength and good temper. The crying helps to make the baby ill-tempered and fretful. A little crying now and then is all right, but much indicates discomfort, disease or a spoiled child. It would surprise most mothers how good babies are when they have a chance to be good.

After reading this, some are sure to ask how many ounces to feed the baby. I don't know. No one else knows. Different babies have different requirements. The key is given above. If the babies become ill it is nearly always due to overfeeding and poor food, so the proper thing to do is to reduce the food intake.

A healthy baby is a source of unending joy, while a sick one saps the mother's vitality. It is too bad that the art of efficient child culture is so little known.

CHILDHOOD.

Children may roughly be divided into two types, the robust and the more delicate or nervous ones. The robust children can stand almost all kinds of abuse with no apparent harm resulting, but the immunity is only apparent. The growing child naturally throws off disease influences easily and quickly, but if the handicap is too great the child loses out in the race.

The nervous type can not be abused with impunity, for the bodies of these delicately balanced children are easily disturbed. They must have more intelligent care than is usually bestowed upon the robust type. If the care is not forthcoming they become weak in body, with an unstable nervous system, or perish early.

Some parents complain because other people's children can do what their own can not and they wonder why. No time should be wasted in making such comparisons, for no two children are exactly alike, as no two leaves and not even two such apparently similar objects as grains of wheat are exactly alike. Therefore the care necessary varies somewhat, though it is basically the same.

If the nervous type is given proper care, good health will be the result. These children do not tolerate as much exposure or as much food as do the robust children. The important thing is to learn what they require and then see that there is no excess, and in this way allow the child to grow physically strong and mentally efficient.

The delicate children are perhaps more fortunate than the stronger ones, for they learn early in life that they have limitations. If they commit excesses the results are so disagreeable that they soon learn to be prudent. This prudence serves as protection so long as life lasts.

The robust children on the other hand soon learn that they are strong. They hear their parents boast about it. They get the idea that because they are strong they will always remain so, that nothing will do them any serious harm. By living up to this fallacy they undermine their constitutions. Parents should teach their children about the law of compensation as applied to health, that is, he has permanent health who deserves it, and no one else. The children will not always heed true teachings after they have left the parental influence, but the parents have at least done the best they could.

The robust children have their troubles, such as chicken-pox, mumps, fevers and measles, but these are thrown off so quickly and with so little inconvenience that they are soon forgotten. As a rule the parents do not realize that these diseases are due to faulty nutrition, and that faulty nutrition is caused by improper feeding. It is generally believed that children must have all the so-called children's diseases. Some mothers expose their infants to all of these that may happen to be in the neighborhood, hoping that the children will take them and be through with them.

Every time a child is sick it is a reflection on either the intelligence or the performance of the parents. It is natural for children to be perfectly well, and they will remain in that happy state if they are given the opportunity. If they are properly fed they will not take any of the children's diseases in spite of repeated exposure. There is not a disease germ known to medical science strong enough to establish itself in the system of an uninjured, healthy child and do damage. The child's health must first be impaired, through poor care, and then the so-called disease germs will find a hospitable dwelling place. If children are given natural food in normal quantities they are disease-proof. Feeding them on refined sugar and white flour products, pasteurized or sterilized milk, potatoes fried in grease pickled meats, and various other ruined foods breaks down their resistance and then they fall an easy prey to disease.

Some parents make the mistake of believing that they can feed their children improperly and ward off disease by vaccinations or inoculations of the products of disease taken from various animals. This is contrary to reason, common sense and nature and it is impossible. Any individual who is continually abused in any way, be he infant or adult, will deteriorate. If the disease is not the one that has been feared, it will be some other one.

The robust children generally develop into careless adults. That is why so many of them, in fact the vast majority, die before they are fifty years old, although they are equipped with constitutions that were intended to last over a century. They are shining marks for typhoid fever, Bright's disease, various forms of heart and liver troubles, rheumatism and pneumonia, all of which are largely caused by too hearty eating. These diseases often come without apparent warning. That is, the victims have thought themselves healthy. However, they have not known what real health is. They have been in a state of tolerable health, not suffering any very annoying aches or pains, but they have lacked the normal state of body which results in a clear, keen mind. As a rule there is enough indigestion present to cause gas in the bowels and a coated tongue. Enough food is generally eaten to produce excessive blood pressure.

The foundation for such a state of affairs is laid in childhood, yes, often before the child is born. It can readily be seen how important it is for parents to impart a little sound health information to the children. At least, they should teach them what health really is, which many people do not know.

When these strong people become sick it is often difficult, or even impossible, to do anything for them, for their habits are so gross and have gained such a mastery that the patients will not or can not change their ways.

The weaklings have a better chance to survive to old age, because many of them learn to be careful early in life. In reading the lives of eminent men who have lived long it is common to find that they were never strong.

At the age of one year the baby is generally weaned. The ordinary child needs the mother's milk no longer, for by this time the digestive power is great enough to cope with cow's milk and various starches. The most important problem now is how to feed the child. If no errors of importance are made it will enjoy uninterrupted growth and health. If the errors are many and serious there will surely be disease and too often the abuse is so great that death comes and ends the suffering.

Until the child reaches the age of two years the best foods are milk, whole wheat products and fruits. No other foods are necessary. The simpler the baby's food, and the more naturally and plainly prepared, the better. Adults who overeat until they suffer from jaded appetites, may think that they need great variety of food, but it is never necessary for infants or normal adults. Milk, whole wheat and fruits contain all the elements needed for growth and strength and health. By all means feed simply. Children are perfectly satisfied with bread and milk or simply one kind of fruit at a meal, if they are properly trained. The craving for a great variety of foods at each meal is due to parental mismanagement.

Children should not be fed more than three times a day. There should be no lunching. The children will get all that is good for them, all they need in three meals. Candy should not be given between meals, and fruit is to be looked upon as a food, not as a dainty to be consumed at all hours of the day. If they are not accustomed to lunching, there will be no craving for lunches. If children are used to four or five meals a day they want them and raise annoying objections when deprived of one or two of them. It is easy to get children into bad habits. We can not blame the average mother for giving her children lunches, for she knows no better and sees other mothers doing the same.

The children who do not get lunches thrive better than those who always have candy, fruit or bread and jam at their command. It is the same with adults. In the Dakotas and Minnesota are many Scandinavians and Germans. During the haying and harvest these people, who are naturally very strong, eat four and five times a day. The heat, the excessive amount of food and the great quantities of coffee consumed cause much sickness during and after the season of hard work and heroic eating. The so-called Americans in these communities are generally satisfied with three meals a day, and they are as well nourished and capable of working as those who eat much more.

Refined sugar made from cane and beets should be given to children sparingly. Refined sugar is the chemical which is largely responsible for the perversion of children's tastes. A normal taste is very desirable, for it protects the possessor. A perverted taste, on the contrary, leads him into trouble. Sugar is not a good food. It is an extract. It is easy to cultivate a desire for sugar, but to people who are not accustomed to it, concentrated sugar has an unpleasant taste.

The perversion of the sense of taste, generally begun with sugar, is made worse by the use of much salt, pepper and various condiments and spices. If the child is fed on unnatural food, highly seasoned, at the age of a few years its taste is so perverted that it does not know how most of the common foods really taste, and refuses to eat the best of them when the health-destroying concoctions to which it has been accustomed can be had.

It is natural for children to relish fruit, but some are so perverted in taste that they object to a meal of it if they can get pancakes or waffles with butter and syrup, mushes with sugar and cream, ham or bacon with fried potatoes, or fresh bread and meat with pickles. Many parents allow their children to live on this class of food to the exclusion of all natural foods. Children need a great deal of the natural salts, and when they live so largely on denatured foods there is always physical deterioration. It is true that to the average eye such children may appear healthy, but they are not in one-half as good physical condition as they could be.

Tea and coffee should never be given to children. They are bad enough for adults. In children they retard bodily development. The stimulation and sedation are bad for the nervous system. Coffee is as harmful as tobacco for the growing child.

To warn against alcohol may seem foolish, but some parents really give beer and whiskey to their infants. The beer is given as a beverage and the whiskey as medicine to kill pain and soothe the children. Those who have not seen children abused in this way may find it difficult to believe that there is such a profundity of ignorance. These children die easily.

Others quiet their children with the various soothing syrups. The last analyses that came under my eyes showed that these remedies contained considerable opium, laudanum, morphine and other deadly poisons. Morphine and opium are not well borne by children and these "mother's friends" have soothed many a baby into the sleep from which there is no waking. Make it a rule to give the children no medicines, either patent or those prescribed by physicians. Please remember that any remedy that quiets a child is poisonous. Children who get proper care require no medical quieting.

Condiments should not be used. Salt is not necessary despite the popular belief to the contrary, though a small amount does no harm. Salt eating is a habit and when carried to excess it is a bad one. Salt is a good preservative, but there is little excuse for our using preserved foods extensively. There are so many foods that can be had without being preserved in this country that it would not be difficult to exclude these inferior foods from the dietary. Children whose foods are not seasoned do not desire seasoning, provided they are fed on natural foods from the start. They want the seasoning because they are taught to eat their food that way. If they are given fresh fruit every day, such as apples, oranges, cherries, grapes and berries, they get all the seasoning they need and they get it in natural form.

The objection is made that such feeding deprives children of many of the good things of life. This is not true. Natural foods taste better than the doctored ones every time. Nature imparts a flavor to food products which man has never been able to equal, to say nothing of surpassing it. Children are taught to like abnormal foods. What is better, to give children good foods upon which they thrive, or denatured foods which taste well to a perverted palate, but are injurious?

Instead of giving sugar or candy, give raisins, figs, dates or sweet prunes. Small children may be given the strained juices of these fruits, obtained either by soaking the raw fruits several hours or by stewing them. Children who are given these fruits do not crave refined sugar. They like these natural sugars better than the artificial extract. These sweet fruits take the place of starchy food.

Very few people know anything definite about food values. Those who have studied foods and their values in order to be able to feed children properly generally make the mistake of believing that they should have all the necessary elements at each meal in about the proper proportion. This is a grave mistake and leads to trouble. The child needs salts, protein, sugar and fat, and in the absence of sugar some starch. Milk contains all these substances except starch. Give one fruit meal and two meals of starch daily. Milk may be given with all the meals or it may be given but once or twice. Do not overfeed on milk, for it is a rich food.

Until the child is two years old, confine it in its starch eating pretty much to the products of whole wheat. Give no white bread. White bread is an unsatisfying form of food. It is so tasteless and insipid and so deprived of the natural wheat salts that too much has to be eaten to satisfy. Children who would be satisfied with a reasonable amount of whole wheat bread eat more white bread and still do not feel satisfied. The same is true of rice, the natural brown rice being so superior to the polished article that there is no comparison.

The bread should be toasted in the oven until it is crisp clear through, or else it should be stale. Let the bread for toast get stale, and then place it in the oven when this is cooling off. Make the slices moderately thin. This is an easy and satisfactory way of making toast. Scorched bread--what is usually called toast--is not fit food for young children.

After the second year is completed gradually increase the variety of starch. Some of the better forms of starch that are easy to obtain are: Puffed rice or puffed wheat; brown, unpolished rice; triscuit or shredded wheat biscuit; the prepared corn and wheat flakes; baked potatoes; occasionally well cooked oatmeal or whole wheatmeal gruel. Mushes are to be given seldom or never. Children seldom chew them well, and they require thorough mastication. The rice is not to be sugared but after the child has had enough, milk may be given. A small amount of butter may be served with either rice or baked potato. The cereal foods should be eaten dry. Let the children masticate them, as they should, and as they will not if the starches are moistened with milk. When they have had sufficient of these starches, and but one kind is to be served at a meal, give milk, if milk is to be a part of the meal. To observe the suggestions here given for the manner of feeding starches to children may mean the difference between success and failure in raising them. It is the little things that are important in the care of children.

The acid fruits should not be given in the meals containing starchy foods. Strong children who have plenty of opportunity to be in the fresh air and who are very active can stand this combination, but it is injurious to the nervous type. It is not a good thing to make such combinations habitually for robust children. A good meal can be made of fruit followed by milk. Do not slice the fruit, sprinkle it with sugar and cover it with cream. Give the child the fruit and nothing else. Neither oranges nor grapefruits are to be sugared. Their flavor is better without. If the children want sweets, give them a meal of sweet fruits.

When the child is eighteen months old it should have learned to masticate well enough to eat various fruits. Apples, oranges, grapefruits, berries, cherries, grapes and melons are among the foods that may be given. If the child does not masticate well, either grind the fruit or scrape it very fine. The sweet fruits require so much mastication that only their juices should be fed until the child is old enough to masticate thoroughly. Bananas should also be withheld until there is no doubt about the mastication. They must be thoroughly ripe, the skin being dark in spots and the flesh firm and sweet. A green banana is very starchy, but a ripe one contains hardly any starch and digests easily.

At first the meal is fruit, followed with milk. Buttermilk or clabbered milk may be substituted for sweet milk. A little later, begin giving cottage cheese occasionally in place of milk, if the child likes it.

The succulent vegetables may be given quite early. At the age of two years stewed onions, green peas, cauliflower, egg plant and summer squash may be given. Gradually increase the variety until all the succulent vegetables are used. At first it may be necessary to mash these vegetables.

The longer children go without meat the better, and if they never acquired the meat-eating habit it would be a blessing. If the parents believe in feeding their children meat, they should wait until the little ones are at least four years old before beginning. Meats are digestible enough, but too stimulating for young people. Chicken and other fowls may be used at first, and it is best to use young birds. Beef and pork should not be on the children's menu. At the age of seven or eight the variety may be increased. However, parents who wish to do the best by their children will give them little or no meat. Many of the sorrows that parents suffer through their wayward children would be done away with if the young people were fed on less stimulating foods.

Eggs are better for children than meat. However, it is not necessary to give them. The children get enough milk to supply all the protein they need. Eggs may be given earlier than meat. At the age of two and one-half years an egg may be given occasionally. At three they may be given every other day, one egg at a meal. At five or six years of age, an egg may be given daily, but not more than one at a time. If they are soft boiled, three and one-half minutes will suffice. If hard boiled, cook them fifteen to twenty minutes. An egg boiled seven or eight minutes is not only hard but tough. Longer boiling makes the albumin mellow. Always prepare eggs simply without using grease.

Eggs may be given in combination with either fruits or vegetables. Milk is not to be taken in the egg meal, for if such combinations are made the child gets more protein than necessary. Eggs are easy to digest and the chief objection to their free use in feeding children is that the protein intake will be too great, which causes disease.

Nuts should not be given until the children are old enough to masticate them thoroughly. The best combination is the same as for eggs. Children under six years of age should not have much more than one-half of an ounce of nut meats at a meal. The pecans are the best. Children rarely chew nuts well enough, so they should seldom be used. They may be ground very fine and made into nut butter, which may be substituted for ordinary butter.

Give no butter until the child has completed his second year. The whole milk contains all the fat necessary. Butter should always be used in moderation, for although it digests easily, it is a very concentrated food.

Again the question will be asked: "How much shall I feed my child?" I do not know, but I do know that most children get at least three times as much food as is good for them. People can establish a toleration to a certain poison, and seemingly take it with impunity for a while. Some arsenic eaters and morphine addicts take enough of their respective drugs daily to kill a dozen normal men. However, the drugs, if not stopped, always ruin the user in the end. It is the same way with food. Children seem to establish a toleration for an excess for a shorter or longer period of time, but the overeating always produces discomfort and disease in the end, and if it is continued it will cause premature death.

About one-third or one-fourth of what children eat is needed to nourish them. The rest makes trouble. Read the chapters in this book on overeating and on normal food intake. They give valuable pointers. Parents know their children best, and the mother can, or should be able to tell when there are signs of impending danger. If there is a decided change in the child's disposition it generally denotes illness. Some children become very sweet when they are about to be ill, but most of them are so cranky that they make life miserable for the family. A foul, feverish breath nearly always comes before the attack. A common danger signal is a white line around the mouth. Another one is a white, pinched appearance of the nose. A flushed face is quite common. The tongue never looks normal. Except the abnormal tongue, these symptoms are not all present before every attack, but one or more of them generally are. No matter what the signs of trouble may be, stop all feeding immediately. If this is done, the disease generally fails to develop, but if feeding is continued there is sure to be illness. These symptoms indicate that the digestion is seriously disturbed. It is folly to feed when there is an acute attack of indigestion. Besides, it is very cruel, for it causes much suffering.

Such symptoms in children are caused by improper eating, and overeating is generally the chief fault. The remedy is very simple: Feed less.

A coated tongue indicates too much food. A clean tongue shows that the digestive organs are working well. If the tongue is not smooth and a pretty pink in color, it means that the child has had too much food and the meals must be reduced in quantity until the tongue does become normal, which may take a few months in chronic cases. Peculiar little protruding spots when red and prominent on the tip and edges of the tongue indicate irritation of the alimentary tract and call for reduction of food intake.

The parents can soon learn how much to feed the children if they will be guided by these hints. Poor health in the children indicates parental failure, and this is one place where they can not afford to fail. Parents must be honest with themselves and not put the blame where the doctors put it--on bacteria, draughts, the weather, etc. Sometimes the climate is very trying on the babies, but it never kills those who have intelligent care.

If it is found that the child next door, of the same age, eats three or four times as much as your child, do not become alarmed about your little one, but give the neighbor's child a little silent sympathy because its parents are ignorant enough to punish the little one so cruelly.

For those who desire more definite hints regarding feeding of children, an outline has been prepared for several days. This is very simple feeding, but it is the kind of feeding that will make a rose bloom in each cheek. The child will be happy and contented and bring joy to the hearts of the parents.

Breakfast: Whole wheat toast, butter and a glass of milk.

Lunch: A baked apple and a dish of cottage cheese.

Supper: Steamed or boiled brown rice and milk.

Breakfast: Puffed wheat and milk.

Lunch: Oranges and milk.

Supper: An egg, parsnips and onions, both stewed.

Breakfast: Oatmeal or whole wheat porridge and milk.

Lunch: Berries and milk.

Supper: Baked potato, spinach and a plate of lettuce.

Breakfast: Shredded wheat biscuit and milk.

Lunch: Stewed prunes and milk or cottage cheese.

Supper: Whole wheat toast and milk.

These are merely hints. Where one juicy fruit is suggested, another may be substituted. In place of the succulent vegetables named, others may be used. Any of the starches may be selected in place of the ones given. However, no mistake will be made in using the whole wheat products as the starch mainstay.

Desserts should not be fed to children often. Rich cakes and all kinds of pies should be omitted from the bill of fare. It is true that some children can take care of them, but what is the use of taking chances? A plain custard, lightly flavored, may be given with toast. If ice cream is above suspicion a moderate dish of this with some form of starch may be given, but milk is not to be taken in the same meal with either ice cream or custard.

At the end of the third year it is time enough to begin to feed the salad vegetables, though they may be given earlier to children who masticate well. The dressing should be very plain, nothing more than a little salt and olive oil, or some clabbered cream. No dressing is necessary. The salad vegetables may be eaten with the meal containing eggs and the stewed succulent vegetables.

At the age of about seven or eight the child may be put on the same diet as the parents, provided they live simply. Otherwise, continue in the old way a little longer. For the best results in raising children, simplicity is absolutely necessary.

Children who are early put on a stimulating diet develop mental and sexual precocity, both of which are detrimental to physical welfare. The first desideratum is to give the children healthy bodies, and then there will be no trouble in giving them what knowledge they need.

In overfed boys the sex urge is so strong that they acquire secret habits, and sometimes commit overt acts. Too much protein is especially to blame. These facts are not understood by many and the result is that the parents fail in their duty to their children.

It is best not to bring young children to the table, if there is anything on it that they should not have, for it nearly always results in improper feeding. The children are curious and they beg for a little of this and a little of that. Unthinkingly the parents give them little tastes and bites and before the meal is over they have had from six to twelve different kinds of food, some of them not fit for adult consumption. If the child understands that it is not to ask for these things and abides by this rule, it is all right, but such children are rare. A child that fretfully begs for this and that at the table upsets itself and the parents.

Make no sudden changes in the manner of feeding, unless the feeding is decidedly wrong.

Active children get all the exercise they need. They should spend a large part of the day in the open, and this is even more important for the delicate ones. The bedroom should be well ventilated, but the children must be kept cozy and warm or they do not sleep well.

After the child is old enough not to soil itself, one or two baths a week are sufficient. There is no virtue in soaking. Swimming is different, for here the child is active in the water and it does not weaken him so. Swimming should be a part of every child's education.

Bed time should be early. The children should be tucked in and the light turned off by 8 o'clock, and 7 o'clock is better for children under five. If they want to get up early in the morning, let them, but put them to bed early at night.

Infants should not be exposed long to the direct rays of the summer sun, for it is liable to cause illness. It upsets the stomach and then there is a feverish spell. If nothing is fed that will generally be all, but it is unnecessary to make babies ill in this way. They should not be chilled either.

Husband and wife do not agree at all times, but they make a mistake when they disagree in the presence of their children. Young people are quick to take advantage of such a state of affairs and they begin to play the parents against each other. When a point comes up where there is a difference of opinion, the decision of the parent who speaks first should stand, at least for the time being. Then when they are by themselves, man and wife can discuss the matter if it is not satisfactory, and even quarrel about it, if that gives them pleasure. Parents who do not control themselves can not long retain the full respect of their children. Lost respect is not very far distant from lost love.

People often object to a change in methods, for, they say, the new plan will cause too much trouble. The plan here outlined causes less trouble than the conventional method of caring for children. It is simpler and gives better results. If it were followed out the mortality of children under ten years of age in this country would be reduced from over 400,000 annually to less than 25,000. In spite of everything, a number of young people will get into fatal pranks.

There are difficulties in the way of raising children properly, but a healthy child is such a great reward that the efforts are paid for a hundred times over. Nothing wears the parents out more quickly than a child who is always fretting and crying, always on the brink of disease or in its grasp. In raising children the best way is the easiest way.

THE CHILD'S MENTAL TRAINING.

A healthy body is the child's first requirement. However, if the mental training is poor, giving wrong views of life, a good physique is of but little service.

It is quite generally agreed among observers that the first seven years of life leave the mental impressions which guide the whole life, and that after the age of fourteen the mental trend rarely changes. There are a few individuals with strength enough to make themselves over mentally after reaching adult life, but these are so few that they are almost negligible, and even they are largely influenced by their youth and infancy. It is as easy to form good mental habits as bad ones. It is within the power of all parents to give their children healthy bodies and healthy minds, and this is a duty, which should prove a pleasure. The reason such heritage is so rare is that it requires considerable self-control and most parents live chaotic lives.

Upon the mentality depends the success in life. "It is the mind that makes the body rich." No matter how great an individual's success may seem in the eyes of the public, if the person lacks the proper perspective, the proper vision and the right understanding, his success is an empty thing. Wealth and success are considered synonymous, but I have found more misery in the homes of the rich than among the poor. Physical wants can be supplied and the suffering is over, but mental wants can only be satisfied through understanding, which should be cultivated in childhood.

"All our problems go back to the child--corrupt politics, dishonesty and greed in commerce, war, anarchism, drunkenness, incompetence and criminality."--Moxom.

Given a healthy body and a good mind, every individual is able to become a useful member of society, and that is all that can be expected of the average individual. All can not be eminent, and it is not necessary.

Upon the child's mental impressions and the habits formed in infancy and youth depend the mental workings and the habits of later life. Therefore it is necessary to nurture the little people in the right kind of atmosphere. If the child is trained properly from infancy there will be no serious bad habits to overcome during later years, and, as all know, habits are the hardest of all bonds to break. To overcome the coffee and alcohol habits is hard, but to overcome bad mental habits is even more difficult.

First of all, let the infant alone most of the time. Some mothers are so full of love and nonsense that they take their babies up to cuddle and love them at short intervals, and then there are the admiring relatives who like to flatter the parents by telling them that the baby is the finest one they have seen; it is an exceptional baby. So the relatives have to bother the infant and kiss it. This should not be. The child should be kept in a quiet room and should not be disturbed. There are no exceptional babies. They are all much alike, except that some are a little healthier than others. If they are let alone, they have the best opportunity to develop into exceptional men and women.

Paying too much attention to babies makes them cross and irritable. They soon learn to like and then to demand attention. If they do not get it at once they become ill-tempered and cry until attention is given. Thus the foundation of bad temper is laid in the very cradle. They gain their ends in infancy by crying. Later on they develop the whining habit. When they grow older they fret and worry. Such dispositions are the faults of the parents.

It does not take long for children to learn how to get their way, and if they can do it by being disagreeable, you may be sure that they will develop the worst side of their nature. Let the child understand that being disagreeable buys nothing, and there will soon be an end of it. Children who are well and well cared for are happy. They cause their elders almost no trouble. To lavish an excessive amount of care on a baby may be agreeable to the mother at first, but it is different when it comes to caring for an ill-tempered, spoiled child of eight or nine years.

Many crimes are committed in the name of love. Many babies are killed by love. Unless love is tempered by understanding it is as lethal as poison. Many parents think they are showing love when they indulge their children, but instead they are putting them onto the road that leads to physical and mental decay. True love is helpful, kind and patient. The spurious kind is noisy, demonstrative and impatient.

Do what is necessary for children, but do not allow them to cause unnecessary work. What they can do for themselves they should do. They can be taught to be helpful very early. They should be taught to be neat and tidy. They should learn to dress themselves and how to keep their rooms and personal effects in good order early in life, no matter how many servants there may be. These little things are reflected in their later lives. They help to form the individual's character. It is what we do that largely make us what we are, and every little act and every thought has a little influence in shaping our lives. An orderly body helps to make an orderly mind and vice versa.

Many of the rich children are unfortunate indeed. Some times poor parents have so many children that each one gets scant attention, but the children of many of the rich get no parental attention. The parents are too busy accumulating or preserving a fortune and climbing a social ladder to bother with their children. Their raising is delegated to servants. At times the little ones are put on display for a few minutes and then the parents are as proud of them as they are of the expensive paintings that adorn the walls or the blooded dogs and horses in kennels and stables. No amount of paid service can compensate for the lack of parental love.

The ideal today, especially for female children, seems to be to make ornaments of them, to train them to be useless. Girls, as well as boys, should be taught to be useful. They should be taught that those who do not labor are parasites. If some do not work, others have to work too hard. The story is told of Mark Twain that he dined with an English nobleman who boasted that he was an earl and did not labor. "In our country," said Mark Twain, "we do not call people of your class earls; we call them hoboes."

It does not matter how wealthy parents are, they should teach their children how to earn a living, and they should instill into them the ideal of service, for a life of idleness is a failure. The shirkers and wasters are not happy. The greatest contentment in life comes from the performance of good work. Ecstatic love and riotous pleasure can not last. Work with love and pleasure is good. But love and pleasure without work are corroding.

Children who are waited upon much become selfish. They soon become grafters, expecting and taking everything and giving nothing. This is immoral, for life is a matter of compensation, and consists in giving as well as in taking. Children should be taught consideration for others, and should not be allowed to order the servants around; not that it harms the servants, but it has a bad effect on the children.

Because the child's period of development is so long, it is important to have a proper adjustment in the home between parents and the children. Lack of adjustment wears out the parents, especially the mother, and gives false impressions to the young people. To prevent friction and get good results, children should be taught obedience. Obedience is one of the stepping stones to ability to command.

In those homes where the words of the parents are law there is but little friction. Obedience should be taught from the very start. As soon as the child realizes that the parents mean what they say and that it is useless to fret and complain about a command, that is the end of the matter. How different it is with disobedient children! The parents have to tell them what to do several times and then the bidding often remains undone.

Begin to teach obedience and promptness as soon as the children understand, for it is more difficult later. The older the children the harder it is. Children know so little and are so conceited that they do not realize that because of lack of experience, observation and reflection they can not safely guide themselves at all times. When they are allowed to act so that they are a nuisance to others and harmful to themselves, they do not give up this license with good grace. There are times to be firm and then firmness should be used. It is necessary for the parents to cooperate.

Various parents have different ways of correcting their children, and it is not difficult to make them realize that obedience is a part of the plan of early life. To illustrate: If the children are called for a meal, they should come promptly. If there is a tendency to lag, tell them that if they do not come when called they will get nothing to eat until next mealtime, and act accordingly. This is no cruelty, for no one is harmed by missing a meal. It generally proves very effective.

At the table, serve the children what your experience has told you they can take with benefit, without saying anything about it. If they ask for anything else, give it if you think proper. If not, say no. If they start to beg and whine, tell them that such conduct will result in their being sent away from the table, and if they still continue, do as you have said, and let there be no weakening. This may cause a few very disagreeable experiences at first, but it is much better to have a few of them and be through, than to continue year after year to have such trouble. Some children can eat everything with apparent impunity and their parents usually pay no attention to what they eat. But there are others who become ill if they are improperly fed. Children who are often feverish and take all the diseases peculiar to the young, are maltreated. They are not properly fed. Those who are prone to convulsions must be fed with great care, or there is danger of their becoming epileptics. Firmness in such cases generally means the difference between health and disease or even death.

By all means be firm in such matters. Indulging the children to excess is invariably harmful. When your children become ill and die, you can truly say, "Behold my handiwork."

In the same way teach the children to do promptly whatever they are told to do. If they are told to go to bed, it should be done without delay or protest. All the little duties that fall to their lot should likewise be accomplished promptly. However, the parents should be reasonable and they should avoid bombarding their children with commands to do or not to do a thousand and one things that do not matter at all. Let the children alone except when it is really necessary to direct them.

Unfortunately, most of the parents are blind to their own faults, but see very clearly those of others. The mistakes they make in their own families open their eyes to those of others, and then they are often very impatient. I know one gentleman who has excellent knowledge of the proper training of the young, but as a parent he is a total failure. He is so explosive and lacking in patience and firmness, perhaps also in love, that his knowledge has not helped him. It is not what we know, but what we apply, that makes or mars.

Obedience reduces friction and trains the children into habits of efficiency. It is not only valuable in preserving the health of the parents, but in increasing the child's earning capacity when the time comes to labor in earnest.

Plato said that democracies are governed as well as they deserve to be. Likewise, parents get as much obedience, respect, affection and love as they deserve, and the three latter are largely dependent upon the former. It would be difficult to overemphasize the importance of obedience.

In nature we find that the animals teach their young how to live independently as soon as they have the strength to care for themselves. This is what parents should teach their children. This may cause the mother pain, for many mothers like to keep their children helpless, dependent and away from contact with the world as long as possible. Wise mothers do not handicap their children thus. The best parents are those who teach their children early how to make their own way.

Doubtless the greatest happiness is to be found in a congenial family, where the parents understand and love each other and their children. Those parents who are so busy that they lack the time to become acquainted with their infants and keep up this intimacy, are losing a part of life that neither money nor social position can give them. Many wait until too late to get on intimate terms with their children. When young, the children are naturally loving and then the beautiful ties which neither time nor misfortune can sunder are formed. When the children are grown it is too late to establish such a relation. Then they look at their parents with as critical eyes as they use toward other people, and though they may become very good friends, the tender love is lacking. Love between man and woman is unstable, but the beautiful love that springs from companionship of children and parents lasts until the end.

While some mothers neglect their children, many become too absorbed in them. The children become all of the mother's life. As the young people become older, their horizon naturally widens. During infancy the parents can fill the child's whole life, but soon other interests crave attention. There is always a tragedy in store for the mother who refuses to see that her children, as they grow older, will demand the human experience necessary for individual growth and development. If the mother has no other interest than her children she will one day be left with a heart as empty as the home from which the children are gone. There are so many interesting things in this world, and every mother should have her hobby. She should have at least one hour each day sacred to herself, in which she can relax and cultivate the mind. This will help to fill the coming years, which too often prove barren. Loving parents get all the reward they should expect from the beautiful intimacy that exists between them and their growing children. So-called ungrateful children have incompetent parents. Parents have no right to demand gratitude. They do no more for their children than was done for themselves in the morning of their lives. The right kind of parents never want for rewards. They are repaid every day so long as they live. Children grow under the care of their parents, but the parents also grow and expand in understanding, sympathy and love through association with their children.

Today society does not treat the mothers with the proper consideration. The mothers deserve well, for they have to give many of their best years to the children. These are the productive years, and generally unfit the women to go into economic competition with the rest of the world afterwards. Society owes it to the mothers of the race to see that they are not made to suffer for fulfilling their destiny. Motherhood today is as dangerous as the soldier's life, though it ought not to be, and it is more difficult to raise children than to conduct a successful business. However, the financial rewards for motherhood are generally nil. The least society can do is to see that these women do not want for the necessities of life.

Most children are interrogation points. This is well, for they learn through curiosity. The questions should be answered honestly, or not at all. It is common to give untrue answers. This is poor policy, for the answers are a part of the child's education and untruths make the young people ignorant and superstitious. It takes considerable patience to raise a child and he who is unwilling to exercise a little patience has no right to become a parent.