Chapter M: F. D (2)

Things were brought to a bearing, howsoever, sooner than either themselves, I dare say, or anybody else present, seemed to have the least glimpse of: for, just in the middle of their fine goings-on, the sound of a coming foot was heard; and the lassie, taking guilt to her, cried out, "Hide me, hide me, for the sake of goodness! for yonder comes my old father!"

No sooner said than done. In he stappit her into a closet; and, after shutting the door on her, he sat down upon a chair, pretending to be asleep, in the twinkling of a walking-stick. The old father came bouncing in; and, seeing the fellow as sound as a top, he ran forward and gave him such a shake as if he would have shooken him all sundry; which soon made him open his eyes as fast as he had steeked them. After blackguarding the chield at no allowance, cursing him up hill and down dale, and calling him by every name but a gentleman, he held his staff over his crown, and, gripping him by the cuff of the neck, asked him, in a fierce tone, what he had made of his daughter. Never since I was born did I ever see such brazen-faced impudence! The rascal had the brass to say at once, that he had not seen word or wittens of the lassie for a month, though more than a hundred folk sitting in his company had beheld him dauting her with his arm round her jimpy waist not five minutes before. As a man, as a father, as an elder of our kirk, my corruption was raised; for I aye hated lying as a poor cowardly sin, and an inbreak on the Ten Commandments; and I found my neighbor, Mr. Glen, fidgeting on the seat as well as me. So I thought that whoever spoke first would have the best right to be entitled to the reward: whereupon, just as he was in the act of rising up, I took the word out of his mouth, saying, "Dinna believe him, auld gentleman; dinna believe him, friend: he's telling a parcel of lees. Never saw her for a month! It's no worth arguing, or calling witnesses: just open that press-door, and ye'll see whether I'm speaking truth or not!"

The old man stared, and looked dumfoundered; and the young one, instead of running forward with his double nieves to strike me, the only thing I was feared for, began a-laughing, as if I had done him a good turn. But never since I had a being did I ever witness such an uproar and noise as immediately took place. The whole house was so glad that the scoundrel had been exposed, that they set up siccan a roar of laughter, and thumped away at siccan a rate at the boards with their feet, that at long and last, with pushing and fidgeting, clapping their hands, and holding their sides, down fell the place they call the gallery, all the folk in't being hurled topsy-turvy, headforemost, among the sawdust on the floor below; their guffawing soon being turned to howling, each one crying louder than another at the top note of their voices, "Murder! murder! hold off me! murder! my ribs are in! murder! I'm killed! I'm speechless!" and other lamentations to that effect: so that a rush to the door took place, in the which every thing was overturned; the door-keeper being wheeled away like wildfire; the furms stramped to pieces; the lights knocked out; and the two blind fiddlers dung headforemost over the stage, the bass-fiddle cracking like thunder at every bruise. Such tearing and swearing, and tumbling and squealing, was never witnessed in the memory of man since the building of Babel; legs being likely to be broken, sides staved in, eyes knocked out, and lives lost,--there being only one door, and that a small one: so that, when we had been earned off our feet that length, my wind was fairly gone; and a sick dwalm came over me, lights of all manner of colors, red, blue, green, and orange, dancing before me, that entirely deprived me of common sense; till, on opening my eyes in the dark, I found myself leaning with my broadside against the wall on the opposite side of the close. It was some time before I minded what had happened: so, dreading skaith, I found first the one arm, and then the other, to see if they were broken; syne my head; and finally both of my legs; but all, as well as I could discover, was skin-whole and scart-free. On perceiving this, my joy was without bounds, having a great notion that I had been killed on the spot. So I reached round my hand very thankfully to take out my pocket-napkin, to give my brow a wipe, when, lo and behold! the tail of my Sunday's coat was fairly off and away, docked by the hainch buttons.

So much for plays and play-actors,--the first and last, I trust in grace, that I shall ever see. But indeed I could expect no better, after the warning that Maister Wiggie had more than once given us from the pulpit on the subject. Instead, therefore, of getting my grand reward for finding the old man's daughter, the whole covey of them, no better than a set of swindlers, took leg-bail, and made that very night a moonlight flitting; and Johnny Hammer, honest man, that had wrought from sunrise to sunset for two days, fitting up their place by contract, instead of being well paid for his trouble, as he deserved, got nothing left him but a ruckle of his own good deals, all dung to shivers.

AN IRISH LOVE-LETTER.

A SCENE FROM GEORGE M. BAKER'S NEW PLAY (FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS
ONLY) IN THREE ACTS, ENTITLED "REBECCA'S TRIUMPH."

_Characters_: KATY, _an Irish servant_, GYP, _a colored girl_; DORA, _a young lady_.

(_Enter_ KATY, _with a letter in her hand_.)

KATY (_turning letter over and over_). An' sure I got a love-lether frum Patsy; an' phat will I do wid it I dunno. I can't rade, and the misthress is away wid the company girls. How will I find out phat's inside it? It's bothered I am intirely.

(_Enter from_ L., _through_ C. _door_, DORA.)

DORA. Ah, Katy! Is it ther yees are? Where's Mrs. Delaine's shawl? I see it. (_Goes towards window_ R.)

KATY. If yees plase, Miss Dora, might I be after troubling yees?

DORA (_comes down_). Certainly, Katy. What's the trouble?

KATY. If yees plase, I have a lether.

DORA. From the ould counthry?

KATY. No, indade: it's from--it's from--sure you'll be afther laughin' if I tole yees.

DORA. Then you needn't tell me, Katy; I can guess. It's a love-letter.

KATY. An' who towld yees that?

DORA. Yourself, Katy, by the blushes on your cheeks and the sparkle in your eyes. You want me to read it for you?

KATY. If yees plase, Miss Dora. (_Hands letter._)

DORA (_opening letter_). I shall learn all your secrets, Katy. Perhaps the young man would not like that.

KATY. Thin yees moight shkip the sacrets.

DORA (_laughs_). All right, Katy. (_Reads._) "Lovely Katy."

KATY. That's me. Sure that's no sacret.

DORA (_reads_). "I take me pin in hand wid a bating heart, to till yees uv the sthrong wakeniss I have for yees."

KATY. Yees moight shkip that.

DORA (_reads_). "I have nather ate, dhrunk, nor slipt, for a wake."

KATY. Will, that jist accounts for the wakeniss.

DORA (_reads_). "Barrin' my thray males a day, an 'me pipe an' tobacyer."

KATY. An' he wid the hearty appetite!

DORA (_reads_). "An' all me slapeliss nights are fill wid drames of yees, Katy mavourneen."

KATY. Sure he's the darlin'.

DORA (_reads_). "I have yees phortygraff nailed to the hid uv me bid; and ivery night, afther I've blown out the candle wid me fingers, I tak a good look at it, an' if ye'll belave me, there's not a dry thread in me eyes."

KATY. Sure he was alwus tinder-hearted.

DORA (_reads_). "If yees don't belave me, tak a good look at yees own face before yees open the lether, and see if I have not cause to wape."

KATY. Sure I ought to have known that before the lether came.

DORA (_reads_). "If yees foind these tinder loins blotted wid tears, it's all owing to the bad quality uv the ink, which has compilled me to pin this wid a pincil."

KATY. That's no mather.

DORA (_reads_). "If yees don't recave this lether, or can't rade it, niver moind: ye'll know that all that's in it is the truth, an' nades nather radin' or writin' to till the same. So name the day, Katy darlin', whin me single blissidniss is to exphire, an' the mathrimoonial noose shlipped over the hid of yees lovin' and consolin'

PATSY DOLAN.

"P.S.--These last lines are the poethry uv love.

"SECOND P.S.--To be rid fhirst. I inclose a ring for yees finger, which same yees will find in me nixt lether." That's all, Katy. (_Hands back letter._)

KATY. It's jist illigant. I'm obleeged to yees.

DORA (_takes shawl from chair_). Quite welcome, Katy. When you get ready to name the day, I'll answer it for you. But be quick, Katy; for the poor fellow will not live long on "only his thray males a day, an' his pipe an' tobacyer." (_Runs off_ C. _to_ L.)

KATY (_looks at letter_). Sure it's a darlin' lether, an' Patsy Dolan's a broth uv a bye.

_Enter_ R., GYP.

GYP. Ah, dar you is, Katy! Whar's de misses? Whar's Miss Becky? Whar's eberybody?

KATY. In the garden, sure. Yees may coom in, if yees wipe yers fate.

GYP. Yas, indeed! How yer was? And how's Patsy Dolan?

KATY. He's will. I've jist recaved a lether from him.

GYP. Dat so? Dat's good! Lub-letters am bery consolin' to de flutterin' heart. Got a letter, hab you? S'pose you red it frough and frough.

KATY. Sure I can't rade at all, at all.

GYP. Dat so? Well, well! De ignoramance ob de foreign poperlation am distressin'.

KATY. Can you rade?

GYP. Read? What you take me for? How else could I debour de heaps and heaps ob lub-letters dat I constantly receibe from my adorers?

KATY (_Aside._) Faith, I'd loike to hear Patsy's lether again. (_Aloud._) Thin plase rade this for me. (_Hands letter._)

GYP (_confused_). Wh-wh-what you take me fur? (_Aside._) Golly! she cotch me den. (_Aloud._) No, chile: dose tender confections am fur you alone, and dey shouldn't be composed to de world.

KATY. An' sure yees can't rade.

GYP. What's that? Can't read? (_Takes letter, and turns it round several times._) Berry long letter. Want to hear it all?

KATY. Ivery word.

GYP (_Aside._) Mussn't gib in. Spec dase all alike. (_Aloud._) Ob course, ob course. (_Pretends to read._) "Lubliest ob your sexes."

KATY. Sure that's not there.

GYP (_shows letter_). See fur yerself, see fur yerself.

KATY. Go on wid the lether.

GYP. "Sublimest ob de fair sexes, dis am a whale ob tears. Dar ain't no sunshine of moonshine widout you."

KATY. That's not thrue at all, at all.

GYP (_shows letter_). Read it yerself, read yerself.

KATY. Go on wid the lether.

GYP. "De moon on de lake am beamin', de lubly sunflower perfumeries in de garden, de tuneful frogs meliferously warble in de riber, an' de breezes blow fro' de treeses; but my lub, my lub, whar, oh, whar am she?"

KATY. I don't belave--

GYP (AS BEFORE). See fur yerself, see fur yerself!

KATY. Oh, quit yees talkin' an' talkin'. Go on wid the lether.

GYP. "My lub she isn't hansum,
My lub she isn't fair;
But to cook de beef and 'taters
Can't beat her anywhar."

Dat's potry, Katy, dat is; alwus find lots ob dat in lub-letters: it gibs dem a flabor.

KATY. I don't belave it's there.

GYP (_as before_). See fur yerself, see fur yerself!

KATY. Go on wid the lether.

GYP. Luf me see, wha was I? "Come rest on dis yere head your aching breast." Dey all got dat, Katy, an'--an' (_aside_), well, I'se jest puzzled fur more: guess we'll hab some more poetry (_aloud_) an'--an'--

"We'll dance all night till broad daylight,
An' go home with de girls in de morning."

KATY. It's no such thing! Yer desavin' me, so yees are! Me Patsy wouldn't go home wid the girls at all, at all.

GYP. See fur yerself, see fur yerself!

KATY (_snatching letter_). So I will. It's false and desateful yees are, for Miss Dora rid the lether, an'--an'--it was jist illegant, so it was an' it's yersilf.--bad luck to the loikes ov yees, whin yees can't rade! an' it's the blissid troth I'm tillin',--invintin' a bit uv blarney to make trouble betwane a poor girl an' her Patsy. Away wid yees!

[_Exit door_ R.

GYP. Well, I guess she fooled me dat time. No use. Dar's alwus trubble interferin' in lub affairs, jest like domestic affairs: when man and wife am fighting, ef you try to be a messenger ob peace, ef you don't look out, you'll git de broomstick onto yer own head. [_Exit._

YANKEE DIALECT RECITATIONS.

Edited by GEORGE M. BAKER.

_BOARDS 50 CENTS PAPER 30 CENTS._

LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston.

CONTENTS.

PAGE

Goin' Somewhere _M. Quod_ 5

Old Farmer Grey Gets Photographed _John H. Yates_ 8

Speech of the Hon. Perverse Peabody
on the Acquisition of Cuba 10

Widder Green's Last Words 13

Widow Stebbins on Homœopathy _C. F. Adams_ 14

Farmer Bent's Sheep-Washing 16

The Little Peach 17

Mr. Pickwick's Romantic Adventure
with a Middle-aged Lady in Yellow
Curl-Papers _Dickens_ 18

Goin' Home To-day _W. M. Carleton_ 24

Jakie on Watermelon Pickle 25

Putty and Varnish _Josh Billings_ 26

London Zoölogical Gardens 28

Aurelia's Unfortunate Young Man _Mark Twain_ 29

The Old Ways and the New _John H. Yates_ 31

The Bumpkin's Courtship 33

The Ballad of the Oysterman _Oliver Wendell Holmes_ 35

The Deck Hand and the Mule 36

A Lay of Real Life _Thomas Hood_ 37

Middlerib's Rheumatic Cure _R. J. Burdette_ 39

Two Fishers _Harper's Weekly_ 43

Jim Wolfe and the Cats _Mark Twain_ 44

Mr. Stiver's Horse _J. M. Bailey_ 46

Mosquitoes _Kaleb Keating_ 50

The City Man and the Setting Hen 51

The Owl Critic _James T. Fields_ 53

The Man with a Cold in His Head 54

Forcible Entry _J. M. Bailey_ 5?

The Village Sewing Society 57

Yankee Courtship 59

The Patter of the Shingle 63

The Paper Don't Say 64

The Jonesville Singin' Quire _Betsey Bobbitt_ 65

The Knife-Grinder _George Canning_ 69

Malaria 70

The Story of the Bad Little Boy who
Didn't Come to Grief _Mark Twain_ 72

Mr. Caudle and His Second Wife _Douglas Jerrold_ 75

Mollie or Sadie 78

The Baffled Book Agent 79

She Would Be a Mason _James C. Leighton_ 80

The Loves of Lucinda _Mark Melville_ 83

Something Split 87

From the Sublime to the Ridiculous 88

A Howl in Rome _Bill Nye_ 89

Butterwick's Weakness 93

The Old Man Goes to Town _J. G. Swinnerton_ 95

Mr. Watkins Celebrates _Detroit Press_ 98

The Squire's Story _John Phœnix_ 99

The Conversion of Colonel Quagg _George Augustus Sala_ 100

In the Surf 105

Variegated Dogs _Peck_ 107

Judge Pitman's Watch _Max Adeler_ 110

An Æsthetic Housekeeper 111

"Mebbe" Joe's True Fish Story 112

Aunt Sophronia Tabor at the Opera 114

The Village Choir _Andre's Journal_ 117

The Light From Over the Range 118

The Christening _E. T. Corbett_ 121

Mr. Covill Proves Mathematics _J. M. Bailey_ 123

Mary's Lamb on a New Principle 124

Address of Spottycus 125

Our Visitor, and What He Came For 128

In the Catacombs _H. H. Ballard_ 130

The Showman's Courtship _A. Ward_ 132

Clerical Wit 134

Greely's Ride _Mark Twain_ 135

No Yearning for the Beautiful _Max Adeler_ 138

A Very Naughty Little Girl's View of
Life 141

Burdock's Goat 142

Awfully Lovely Philosophy 145

Aunt Parsons' Story _Presbyterian Journal_ 146

The National Game 151

A Disturbance in Church _Max Adeler_ 153

The Engineer's Story _Eugene J. Hall_ 155

The Judge's Search for a Waterfall _Harper's Magazine_ 156

The Railroad Crossing 158

Asking the Gov'nor 159

Intensely Utter _Albany Chronicle_ 162

The Way Astors Are Made _J. M. Bailey_ 164

A Mysterious Disappearance _Dickens_ 166

THE GRAND ARMY SPEAKER.

Edited by GEORGE M. BAKER.

_BOARDS 50 CENTS_ _PAPER 30 CENTS._

LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston.

CONTENTS.

PAGE

The Rescue _John Brownjohn_ 5

Decoration _T. W. Higginson_ 8

The Little Black-eyed Rebel _Will Carleton_ 9

The Palmetto and the Pine _Mrs. Virginia L. French_ 11

Battle Hymn _Korner_ 13

The Song of the Dying 14

By the Alma River _Miss Mulock_ 15

At the Soldiers' Graves _Robert Collyer_ 17

The Sergeant of the Fiftieth 18

The Minute-men of '75 _George William Curtis_ 19

Blue and Gray 21

Custer's Last Charge _Frederick Whittaker_ 23

The Pride of Battery B _F. H. Gassaway_ 25

The Cavalry Charge _F. A. Durivage_ 27

The Last Redoubt 28

Kelly's Ferry _Benjamin F. Taylor_ 30

Noble Revenge 34

Civil War _Anonymous_ 35

"Dashing Rod," Trooper _S. Conant Foster_ 36

The Tramp of Shiloh _Joaquin Miller_ 38

The Sharpshooter's Miss _Frank H. Gassaway_ 40

The Fight at Lookout _R. L. Cary, jun._ 44

The Countersign was "Mary" _Margaret Eytinge_ 46

A Second Review of the Grand
Army _Bret Harte_ 47

The Bivouac of the Dead 49

The Tramp _George M. Baker_ 52

The Canteen 55

The Charge by the Ford 56

Harry Brandon _Edmund E. Price_ 58

Post Number Three _Sherman D. Richardson_ 59

The Patriot Spy _F. M. Finch_ 62

The Dandy Fifth _Frank H. Gassaway_ 63

The American Flag _Joseph Rodman Drake_ 66

Somebody's Darling _Anonymous_ 68

"Little Potter's" Story 69

The Bravest Boy in Town _Emma Huntington Nason_ 71

Our Folks _Ethel Lynn_ 74

"Picciola" 76

"Fall in" _Mary Clemmer_ 78

"The Boys who Never Got Home" _George W. Peck_ 79

Abraham Lincoln and the Poor
Woman 80

Elizabeth Zane _John S. Adams_ 82

Keenan's Charge 84

The Old Canteen 86

Mobile Bay 88

Ravenswood's Oath _A. Wallace Thaxter_ 90

The Story of the Swords _Adelaide Cilley Waldron_ 91

"Only a Crippled Soldier!" _J. Russell Fisher_ 93

Somebody's Pride _Clement Scott_ 97

My Wife and Child _Henry Rootes Jackson_ 98

The Song of the Drum _I. E. Diekenga_ 99

"Bay Billy" _Frank H. Gassaway_ 102

Sheridan's Ride 106

"Them Yankee Blankits" _Samuel W. Small_ 108

The Soldiers' Monument _John L. Swift_ 110

The Crutch in the Corner _John McIntosh_ 112

Roll-call 113

The Cruise of the Monitor _George M. Baker_ 115

Missing 117

Decoration Day _Mary Bassett Hussey_ 118

Back from the War _T. De Witt Talmage_ 120

A Piece of Bunting _Hon. F. W. Palmer_ 121

Grant's Strategy _Judge Veazey_ 123

The Charge at Valley Maloy 124

The Hero-woman _George Lippard_ 126

Union of Blue and Gray _Paul H. Hayne_ 130

After "Taps" _Horace Binney Sargent_ 131

The Soldier's Reprieve _Rosa Hartwick Thorpe_ 133

At Arlington _James R. Randall_ 135

The Man with the Musket _H. S. Taylor_ 137

A Baby Peacemaker _Herbert W. Collingwood_ 138

The Veterans _General Sherman_ 141

Barbara Frietchie _Whittier_ 142

What Saved the Union 144

Re-enlisted _Lucy Larcom_ 145

The Soldier's Dream _C. G. Fall_ 147

IRISH DIALECT RECITATIONS.

Edited by GEORGE M. BAKER.

_BOARDS 50 CENTS_ _PAPER 30 CENTS._

LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston.

CONTENTS.

PAGE

How Teddy Saved His Bacon 5

Mr. O'Hoolahan's Mistake 7

The Last of the Sarpints 9

The Irish Boy and the Priest 11

An Irish Wake 12

Biddy's Philosophy _R. H. Stoddard_ 14

Reflections on the Needle _Cormac O'Leary_ 15

The Red O'Neil _Thomas S. Collier_ 16

Deaf and Dumb _Anna F. Burnham_ 20

Mr. Murphy Explains His Son's Conduct 21

A Ram for Ould Oireland 22

The Gridiron _William B. Fowle_ 23

The "O'Meara Consolidated" _Va. City Enterprise_ 26

Paddy's Metamorphosis _Moore_ 28

The Widow O'Shane's Rent 29

Why Biddy and Pat Got Married 30

Don Squixet's Ghost _Harry Bolingbroke_ 31

Mr. O'Gallagher's Three Roads to
Learning _Captain Marryat_ 33

Two Irish Idyls _Alfred Perceval Graves_ 37

The Broken Pitcher 39

Paddy's Excelsior _Harper's Magazine_ 40

The Irish Philosopher 41

Mary Maloney's Philosophy _Philadelphia Bulletin_ 42

Bridget McRae's Wedding Anniversary _Nina Gray_ 44

Paddy O'Rafther _Samuel Lover_ 45

Pat's Reason 47

O'Branigan's Drill _W. W. Fink_ 47

Pat and the Pig 48

Pat and the Oysters 50

A Penitent _Margaret Eytinge_ 51

Mike McGaffaty's Dog _Mark Melville_ 51

Jimmy Butler and the Owl 53

Tipperary 56

Pat's Dream of Heaven 58

Biddy's Troubles 61

Make It Four, Yer Honor 62

The Post-Boy _Mrs C. J. Despard_ 64

That Fire at the Nolans' _Life_ 67

Ninety-Eight 70

Pat's Bondsman _Lilian A. Moulton_ 71

Washee, Washee _Joaquin Miller_ 73

Annie's Ticket 74

O'Thello _Harper's Magazine_ 76

Lanty Leary _Samuel Lover_ 77

Katie's Answer 78

Paddy's Dream 79

Lessons in Cookery _Detroit Free Press_ 80

The Irish Traveller 82

Teddy's Six Bulls 82

A Miracle _Charles H. Webber_ 84

Pat and Miss Skitty _Bessie Bently_ 84

At the Rising of the Moon _Leo Casey_ 86

The Irish Schoolmaster 87

How Dennis Took the Pledge 89

When McGue Puts the Baby to Sleep 90

The Confession _Samuel Lover_ 91

Father Phil's Collection _Samuel Lover_ 92

St. Patrick's Martyrs 100

Pat's Correspondence _W. M. Giffin_ 102

Little Pat and the Parson 104

Patrick O'Rouke and the Frogs _George W. Bungay_ 105

Widow Malone _Charles Lever_ 108

The Birth of St. Patrick _Samuel Lover_ 109

Murphy's Mystery of the Pork Barrel 110

Paddy Blake's Echo _Samuel Lover_ 111

A Cook of the Period 112

Larry's on the Force _Irwin Russell_ 113

Pat and the Frogs _R. M. T._ 114

Paddy's Courting _W. A. Eaton_ 116

A Bit of Gossip _Josephine Pollard_ 118

Paddy and His Pig 120

Teddy McGuire and Paddy O'Flynn _Amanda T. Jones_ 121

Paudeen O'Rafferty's Say-Voyage 125

Irish Astronomy _Charles G. Halpine_ 128

Paddy McGrath's Introduction to Mr.
Bruin 129

Larrie O'Dee _W. W. Fink_ 131

Irish Coquetry 132

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prose and verse. Boards, 50 cents; paper, 30 cents.

THE GRAND ARMY SPEAKER. A collection of the best Readings and
Recitations on the Civil War. Boards, 50 cents; paper, 30 cents.

YANKEE DIALECT RECITATIONS. A humorous collection of the best
Stories and Poems for Reading and Recitations. Boards, 50 cents;
paper, 30 cents.

MEDLEY DIALECT RECITATIONS. A series of the most popular German,
French, and Scotch Readings. Boards, 50 cents; paper, 30 cents.

THE READING CLUB and Handy Speaker, No. 18. Paper, 15 cents.
Uniform with Nos. 1 to 17.

BAKER'S HUMOROUS SPEAKER. A compilation of popular selections in
prose and verse in Irish, Dutch, Negro, and Yankee dialect.
Uniform with "The Handy Speaker," "The Prize Speaker," "The
Popular Speaker," "The Premium Speaker." Cloth, $1.00.

Sold by all Booksellers, and sent by mail, postpaid, on receipt of
price, by the publishers,

LEE & SHEPARD, Boston.

TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES

TEACHING HIM THE BUSINESS on p. 67 is virtually identical to THE
VAY RUBE HOFFENSTEIN SELLS on p. 45.

On p. 137, the second digit is missing from the page number for the
line "Forcible Entry _J. M. Bailey_ 5".

Silently corrected simple spelling, grammar, and typographical
errors.

Retained anachronistic and non-standard spellings as printed.

Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.

Enclosed bold font in =equals=.