Chapter I: Front Matter

PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR

Edited by J. A. HAMMERTON

Designed to provide in a series of volumes, each complete in itself, the cream of our national humour, contributed by the masters of comic draughtsmanship and the leading wits of the age to “Punch,” from its beginning in 1841 to the present day.

MR. PUNCH IN WIG AND GOWN

MR. PUNCH
IN WIG
AND GOWN

THE LIGHTER SIDE OF BENCH
AND BAR

_WITH 120 ILLUSTRATIONS_

BY

H. STACY MARKS, SIR JOHN
TENNIEL, GEORGE DU
MAURIER, CHARLES KEENE,
PHIL MAY, E. T. REED,
L. RAVEN-HILL, J. BERNARD
PARTRIDGE, A. S. BOYD,
TOM BROWNE, G. D.
ARMOUR, W. F. THOMAS,
AND OTHERS.

PUBLISHED BY ARRANGEMENT WITH
THE PROPRIETORS OF “PUNCH”

THE EDUCATIONAL BOOK CO. LTD.

PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR

_Twenty-five volumes, crown 8vo, 192 pages fully illustrated_

LIFE IN LONDON
COUNTRY LIFE
IN THE HIGHLANDS
SCOTTISH HUMOUR
IRISH HUMOUR
COCKNEY HUMOUR
IN SOCIETY
AFTER DINNER STORIES
IN BOHEMIA
AT THE PLAY
MR. PUNCH AT HOME
ON THE CONTINONG
RAILWAY BOOK
AT THE SEASIDE
MR. PUNCH AFLOAT
IN THE HUNTING FIELD
MR. PUNCH ON TOUR
WITH ROD AND GUN
MR. PUNCH AWHEEL
BOOK OF SPORTS
GOLF STORIES
IN WIG AND GOWN
ON THE WARPATH
BOOK OF LOVE
WITH THE CHILDREN

STATING THE CASE

Mr. Punch has done his share towards bringing about various law reforms. We find him hammering away continually for many years at the Law’s delays, its costliness, its inconsistencies, and the evils he has satirised, the inconveniences he has laughed at have largely been remedied. He makes fun of the jesting judge and the bullying barrister, while he is genially amusing at the expense of the timid and blundering witness, and the youthful vanity or elderly pomposity of members of the bench and bar. He is rightly bitter now and then when he touches on the comparatively light sentences inflicted on audacious, but wealthy, swindlers, and the comparatively heavy penalties exacted from lesser, poorer, and more ignorant burglars and pickpockets; but in the main he devotes himself to the lighter side of law and justice and the professions that are concerned in its administration.

Here and there you come across echoes of famous law suits--of the Tichborne trial, the Parnell Commission; here and there you have reminders of Bradlaugh’s fight to get into Parliament without taking the oath; of the days when London was agitated by the Fenian scare and valorous householders were sworn in as special constables, and again when everybody passing into the law courts had to open his bag that the policeman on duty might be assured that he was not carrying a bomb inside it.

The reading matter is particularly apt and good; not a little of it was written by barristers in the intervals of waiting for briefs, and the writers were thus intimately acquainted with the grievances they ventilated, and were often suffering the hardships of the briefless themselves when they sat down to make fun of them.

MR. PUNCH IN WIG AND GOWN

OUR LEGAL CORRESPONDENCE

NOVICE.--(_a_) Don’t, unless you want penal servitude for life. (_b_) Any respectable burglar. (_c_) We do not answer questions on chiropody in this column.

HARD UP.--_Brougham on Conveyances_ will explain whether your contract to purchase the motor-car is binding or not.

FARMER.--It is either an “escrow” or a scarecrow; impossible to state definitely without further information.

B. AND S.--There is no reduction (of the fine) in taking a quantity--generally the reverse.

TRAVELLER.--By travelling in the manner you describe, viz., under the seat, you render yourself liable to “stoppage _in transitu_,” and to completing the rest of your journey on foot “_in custodia legis_.” The authorities on this point are very clear. See _Constable’s Reports_, P.C. X. Y. Z., Vol. XIV., pages 72-85.

JUSTICE.--If the defendant lost, you, being plaintiff would win, and _vice versâ_. Consult a solicitor.

STUDENT.--Can only spare space for half your questions. “Aggravated assault” explains itself, an assault which aggravates or annoys you. “Damage fesant,” a badly shot pheasant. “Simple larceny,” taking an empty purse out of a pocket in which a sovereign is lying loose. “Misdemeanour” is of course the demeanour of an unmarried woman, or in plainer language, the airs she gives herself.

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A BRIEF EXISTENCE.--A barrister’s.

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THE LETTER OF THE LAW.--The “letter of the law” must be _x_. It expresses a quantity that is unknown.

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A LAW SUIT.--Wig, gown, and bands.

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HOW TO MAKE USE OF “THE BLOCK IN THE LAW COURTS.”--Try wigs on it.

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GOOD LEGAL SECURITIES.--De-Benchers of Lincoln’s Inn.

* * * * *

Mr. Blazer, K.C., returns unexpectedly to his chambers in the middle of vacation.]

* * * * *

THE BAR AND ITS MOANING

I am watching, I am waiting,
And my hair is growing grey,
For it is exasperating,
That no business comes my way.

Other men in briefs may revel
When successfully they plead,
I am only a poor “devil,”
Often worked but never fee’d.

E’en the bank-clerk in the city
Has a salary that’s small,
But we juniors, more’s the pity,
Don’t make anything at all.

Living still on false pretences,
Since the truth we dare not own,
Some not earning their expenses
If the facts were truly known.

And meantime the years are flying,
Bringing changes p’raps for some,
Not for me tho’; I’m relying
On the practice that’s to come.

* * * * *

LEGAL MEM.--A barrister is only invited to sit on the Bench when he has had some considerable amount of standing at the Bar.

* * * * *

“A WINDING-UP CASE.”--A watch’s.

* * * * *

In ladies’ winter costumes.]

* * * * *

HELPFUL HINTS TO YOUNG BARRISTERS

(An opportunity often occurs after lunch.)]

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Policeman X 24, drunk and almost incapable, is just able to blow his whistle for help!]

* * * * *

LEGAL EDUCATION

The sons of lawyers, who are intended for their fathers’ profession, cannot too early become familiar with legal phrases and their meanings. Old nursery rhymes might easily be adapted for this purpose. For instance--