Chapter IV: Part I: Puzzles and Oddities (2)

Of this word ’tis the mission
To be a preposition,
Giving you a notion
Of onward, inward, motion.

III.

This charm to blend,
The myriad roses of Cashmere you ask
Their subtle essences to one small flask
Freely to lend.

IV.

The middy, to his labor trained,
The sun by sextant viewed;
And said that Phœbus had attained
His greatest altitude.

305.

A prophet exists, whose generation was before Adam; who was with Noah in the Ark, and was present at the trial of our Lord. The only sermon he preached, was so convincing as to bring tears to the eyes and repentance to the heart of a sinner. He neither lies in a bed nor sits in a chair; his clothing is neither dyed, spun nor woven, but is of finest texture and most brilliant hue. His warning cry ought to call all sluggards from their slumbers: he utters it in every land and every age; and yet he is not the Wandering Jew.

306.

I have but six letters; I’m little, you see;
Yet millions of people have wondered at me;
My 2, 6, 5, 1, you possess, and yet seek;
My 6, 4, 1, renders the strongest man weak;
My 5, 3, 2, 1, is both pronoun and noun,
And my 5, 1, 2, often have builded a town;
To my 3, 5, 6, 4, 1, men sometimes have prayed,
And my 4, 6, 5, 1, through most forests have strayed;
My 6, 3, 5, _has_ been to mystify you,
And devout men oft utter my 6, 5, 1, 2.

307.

(Fill the blanks with the names of British Authors.)

A ---- upon the ---- shore was seen,
I looked again, and it no ---- was seen.

308.

A ---- who of riches had great store,
Was fain to keep a ---- upon his door.

309.

A ---- trod the desert, ---- and ----,
And, slow but sure of ---- made good his way.

310.

I see with every man a thing
No man on earth hath ever seen;
Yet calm reflection still would bring
It face to face with him, I ween;
’Twould be before him plain as day,
Yet not be what he saw, I say.

311.

1. I have wings and I fly, though I’m not called a bird;
2. I am part of a hundred, e’en more than a third;
3. I am “A No. 1” with the most of mankind;
4. In France and in Germany me you will find;
5. My FIFTH in your hand you may frequently see;
6. And my WHOLE it is dreary and wretched to be.

312.

_Blanks to be filled with the names of noted authors._

A little child, ----, ----, and full of grace,
Threw back her ---- and showed her smiling face;
Meek as the ---- she by a ribbon led,
As o’er the ---- in the ---- dawn she sped;
Fleet as the ---- when to the ---- the ----
Called, and the sportsman ---- not at morn;
Against her ---- more than paltry gold,
I could not ---- my heart, however cold.

313.

You need not ---- my inquiring friend,
If, asking me if I am on the mend,
You find me still in no ---- frame;
Upon an ---- lay all the blame;
And though it may not ---- seem to mope,
I could not ---- my pain to please the ----.

314.

Than myself in my normal condition, nothing could be lighter or more airy. I am composed of six letters and four syllables. Deprived of my first two and transposed, I am the haunt of wild beasts; transposed, I am a human being more dangerous than a wild beast; transposed again, I am part of a fence; robbed of my last letter, and again transposed, I am a melody; or I am that noun without which there would be no such adjective as my WHOLE.

315.

CHRISTMAS DINNER.

The first course consisted of a linden tree, and some poles. The second, of a red-hot bar of iron, a country in Asia, and an ornament worn by Roman ladies, accompanied by a vegetable carefully prepared as follows: one-sixth of a carrot, one-fourth of a bean, one-half of a leaf of lettuce, and one-third of a cherry. For dessert, a pudding made of the interment of a tailor’s implement; some points of time, and small cannon-shot from Hamburg.

316.

My FIRST can be a useful slave,
Obedient to your will;
Yet let him once the master be,
He’ll ruin, rage, and kill.
To do my SECOND through the air,
Oft men have tried in vain,
Yet, if you look, you’ll find it there,
Upon your window-pane.
My WHOLE on summer nights is seen
A fairy lamp to light the green.

317.

Seen more by day; heard more by night:
I help the old to better sight;
Chameleon-like, my food is air,
And dust to me is dainty fare.

NUTS TO CRACK.

318.

What nuts were essential to the safety of ancient cities?

319.

What nut is a garden vegetable?

320.

What nut is a dairy product?

321.

What nut is dear to bathers?

322.

What nut is used to store away things in?

323.

What nut is a breakfast beverage?

FOR AMATEUR GARDENERS.

324.

Plant the early dawn, and what flower will appear?

325.

What spring flowers are found in the track of an avalanche?

326.

What early vegetable most resembles a pain in the back?

327.

What flower is most cultivated by bad-tempered persons?

328.

If a dandy be planted, what tree will come up?

329.

Why is a gardener a most fortunate antiquary?

330.

What herbs will spoil your brood of chickens?

331.

Man cannot live without my FIRST;
By day and night ’tis used,
My SECOND, though disliked by all,
By none can be refused.
My WHOLE is never seen by day,
Nor ever seen by night;
Yet shows in eyes suffused with tears,
In faces wan and white.

332.

FIRST.

Something we too early sigh for;
What, through life, too hard we try for;
What, alas! too many die for.

SECOND.

Upon my SECOND, in a boat,
We lightly toss or idly float;
Or bathe within its wavelets clear,--
(The word to Tennyson is dear.)

THE WHOLE.

A lovely vale well known to fame,
Of which a fabric bears the name,
Well worthy of the proudest dame.

333.

My SECOND went to the side of my FIRST,
And stayed through the WHOLE for the air;
There were croquet and singing
And bathing and swinging,
And chatting with maidens so fair.

334.

Two heads I have, and when my voice
Is heard afar like thunder,
The lads and maids arrested stand,
And watch and wait with wonder.

Quite promptly I’m obeyed, and yet
’Tis only fair to say
My master bangs me right and left,
And him I must obey.

335.

I am useful on a farm, and on shipboard. Transpose me and I am not out of place on your tables, though I am most at home on the other side of the world. Change me to my original form, and remove my middle, and I become a part of your face.

POSITIVES AND COMPARATIVES.

336.

He brings his bill for service done
And straightway mounts his steed.

337.

The little rascal plays his pranks,
Then runs away with speed.

338.

Now see the youth with nimble tread
As step by step he mounts!

339.

How well the story he’ll relate!
How rapidly he counts!

340.

Then give me but my Arab steed,
And well I’ll shave his head.

341.

Oh! what a horrid, noisy bell!
The noontide meal is spread.

342.

It was myself--mistake me not--
Whose wrath was kindled at the thought.

343.

The sombre tree grew at the foot of the mountain:
Just where the pitcher we filled at the fountain.

344.

The debts he’s contracted to you and to me,
By the silver that’s in it, will canceled be.

345.

Beside the brook one summer day
When Nature all was merry,
I saw a gypsy maiden stray,
As brown as any berry.
She, with the limpid waters quenched her thirst,
And picked a simple salad of my FIRST.

The woodbine and the eglantine,
The clematis and mallow,
Delight to twine and interwine
Beside that streamlet shallow;
And, kissed by sunlight, and caressed by dews,
My SECOND in the ambient air diffuse.

The sun went down; the twilight fell;
Out shone the stars unnumbered;
Each flowret closed its honeyed cell,
And Nature softly slumbered.
While, pale and cold, across the heavens stole
In modest, maiden majesty, my WHOLE.

346.

The following puzzle was first published in 1628, and was reprinted in _Hone’s Every-Day Book_ for 1826:

A vessel sailed from a port in the Mediterranean, with thirty passengers, consisting of fifteen Jews and fifteen Christians. During the voyage a heavy storm arose, and it was found necessary to throw overboard one-half the passengers, in order to lighten the ship. After consultation, they agreed to a proposal from the captain, that he should place them all in a circle, and throw overboard every ninth man until only fifteen should be left. The treacherous wretch then arranged them in such a way, that all the Jews were thrown overboard, and all the Christians saved. In what order were they placed?

347.

~pO^l ^Po++l++ p^o^l

P~ol POL P^oL
ST

348.

A man building a barn, wished to place in it a window 3 ft. high by 3 ft. wide. But, finding there was not room enough, he had it made half the size intended, without altering height or width.

349.

PERSIAN RIDDLE.

Between a thickset hedge of bones,
A small, red dog now barks, now moans.

350.

I contain only two syllables. My FIRST implies plurality; my SECOND, sound health. My WHOLE is the name of a profligate earl who was the third husband of a queen noted alike for her beauty and her misfortunes. He died insane and in exile; and the beautiful queen, after being queen consort in one country, and reigning sovereign in another, spent nineteen years in captivity, and was finally beheaded on the 8th of January, 1587.

351.

A celebrated line from Shakespeare.

352.

The blacksmith with hammer of musical ----
Forges a chain of a ponderous ----
His hands are brawny and black as ----
But he loves his work as well
As his neighbor goldsmith at ease in a ----
Twisting fine gold to the size of a ----
And weaving a trifle light as ----
For the delicate ear of a belle.

353.

TRANSMUTATIONS.

1. A letter made crazy by being placed in order.

2. A letter becomes an island when surrounded by a belt.

3. A letter is pleased when set on fire.

4. A letter falls in love when it is beaten.

5. A letter is hated when it is examined.

6. A letter becomes a sailor when it leaves the house.

7. A letter is filled with crystals when it becomes a creditor.

8. A letter becomes musical when it is made thick.

9. A letter changes its shape when empty.

10. A letter is seen when it is spotted.

11. Another is seen when taken in hand.

12. When a letter is perforated it draws near the ocean.

13. It costs money for a letter to be thoughtful.

14. A letter is always slandered when it becomes noted.

What letters are they?

354.

My FIRST a liquid path is made
By something used in foreign trade.
My SECOND pours from out his throat
To weary ones a welcome note,
Coming, a sure and pleasant token
That winter’s icy chain is broken.
My WHOLE I’ve found in purple bloom,
Or clothed in white ’mid forest gloom,
Leaves, petals, sepals, all in threes--
A triple triplet, if you please.

355.

On muster-day the boys were ----
Each nerve to show a splendid ----
When suddenly the cry, ’Tis ----
Proclaims ill luck begun;
From fine cockades the beauty ----
Adown their uniforms are ----
The streams that spoil their fun.
Crestfallen, homeward they are ----
When lo! a bright bow over ----
Tells that the rain is done.

356.

Brilliant with white and golden light
I blossom in the shade;
Emblem of purity and truth,
Though of two falsehoods made.

357.

The egotist my FIRST employs
To consummate his bliss,
The school-boy finds it in a noise,
The lover in a kiss.
When on the field, in dread array,
Opposing legions wait the fray,
When trumpets sound and banners wave,
The watchword “Victory or the Grave”
Where’er my SECOND may be found,
The bravest knights will there abound.
What though my THIRD the soldier spurns
With undisguised disdain,
To it the farmer gladly turns
To cultivate the plain.
My WHOLE a gallant warrior’s name,
The idol of the fair;
A wizard celebrates his fame--
You’ll find my subject there.

358.

_A little word of syllables three,
Holds in its heart a mystery._

I walk the earth; I climb the sky;
Full fierce below, serene on high;
I lead the field, I lead the fold,
I call to mind the fleece of gold.

Four times ten centuries ago,
When Abraham’s shepherds watched by night,
Their flocks upon the fields below,
Above, the stars’ mysterious light,
The heavenly host all followed one
Whose name proclaimed his mission high,
He “went before and led the way,”
We joined his train submissively.

At length, as centuries rolled on,
His leadership and prestige gone,
In turn _I_ led the flocks on high,--
As on the earth, so in the sky.

When many centuries again
Had joined the eternal past,
I found the fate of all create
Was mine--was mine--at last!
And while, my ancient honors lost,
I yield to my changed destiny,
Another chief the starry host
In stately march precedes on high.

(To make the enigma more complete,
If to this word of syllables three,
A personal pronoun be prefixed,
The _three_ reduced to _two_ you’ll see:
And this new word will just express
What everything earthly does in time,
Life’s bitter sooner than its sweets,--
So end the riddle and the rhyme.)

359.

What kind of paper is most like a sneeze?

360.

Why did Edward Everett like to write his own name?

361.

Why would not the same name be a good exercise in writing?

362.

A farmer had ten apple trees to plant. He desired to place them in five rows, having four in each row. This he succeeded in doing. How?

363.

Quotation from Shakespeare:

M
x A
10 & L
u I
8 C
(⬭)
E.
]

364.

One little boy said to another: “I have an own and only sister, but she has no brother.” How was that?

365.

If stately Edith give her ----
To Reginald, ’twill end my ----
For it transcends my utmost ----
To make a hero of a ----

366.

On grassy upland chirps the ----
Sad in the valley roams the ----
Thinking of bright hours too soon ----
Humming in misery “Non è ----”
He thinks not of the west so brightly ----
Nor listens to the faint and distant ----
But dreams of the false fair to whom is ----
The wo which never, never, will take ----.

367.

Convert the following into a couplet, perfect in rhyme and rhythm, without adding or omitting a single letter:

“O Deborah, Deborah! wo unto thee
For thou art as deaf as a post.”

368.

One and the same word of two syllables, answers each of the following triplets:

I. MY FIRST springs in the mountains;
MY SECOND springs out of the mountains;
MY WHOLE comes with a spring over the mountains.

II. MY FIRST runs up the trees;
MY SECOND runs past the trees;
MY WHOLE spreads over the trees.

III. MY FIRST runs on two feet;
MY SECOND runs without feet;
MY WHOLE just glides away.

IV. To catch MY FIRST, men march after it;
To capture MY SECOND, they march over it;
To possess MY WHOLE, they go through a march before it.

369.

Said the Moon to the Sun:
“Is the daylight begun?”
Said the Sun to the Moon:
“Not a moment too soon.
You’re a full Moon,” said he;
She replied, with a frown,
“Well! I never did see
So uncivil a clown!”

Query: Why was the Moon so angry?

370.

It is as high as all the stars,
No well was ever sunk so low;
It is in age five thousand years,
It was not born an hour ago.

It is as wet as water is;
No red-hot iron e’er was drier;
As dark as night, as cold as ice,
Shines like the sun, and burns like fire.

No soul, nor body to consume--
No fox more cunning, dunce more dull;
’Tis not on earth, ’tis in this room,
Hard as a stone, and soft as wool.

’Tis of no color, but of snow,
Outside and inside black as ink;
All red, all yellow, green and blue--
This moment you upon it think.

In every noise, this strikes your ear,
’Twill soon expire, ’twill ne’er decay;
Does always in the light appear,
And yet was never seen by day.

Than the whole earth it larger is,
Yet, than a small pin’s point, ’tis less;
I’ll tell you ten times what it is,
Yet after all, you shall not guess!

’Tis in your mouth, ’twas never nigh--
Where’er you look, you see it still;
’Twill make you laugh, ’twill make you cry;
You feel it plain, touch what you will.

371.

My FIRST, so faithful, fond and true,
Will ne’er forsake or injure you;
My SECOND, coming from the street
You often trample under feet;
My THIRD you sleep on every night,
Serene and calm, without affright;
My WHOLE is what you should not be
When talking with your friends or me.

372.

My FIRST is a little river in England that gave name to a celebrated university; my SECOND is always near; my THIRD sounds like several large bodies of water; and my WHOLE is the name of a Persian monarch, the neighing of whose horse gave him a kingdom and a crown.

373.

A horse in the midst of a meadow suppose,
Made fast to a stake by a line from his nose;
How long must this line be, that, feeding all ’round,
Permits him to graze just an acre of ground?

374.

FIRST, A house where man and beast
Find themselves at home;
SECOND, Greatest have and least
Wheresoe’er you roam;
THIRD, A pronoun, meaning many,
(You must add an L);
ALL, The manner of our meeting
When you ring my bell.

375.

A DINNER PARTY.

THE GUESTS,

(Who are chiefly Anachronisms and other Incongruities.)

The First: Escaped his foes by having his horse shod backward.

Second: Surnamed, The Wizard of the North.

3d: Dissolved pearls in wine; “herself being dissolved in love.”

4th: Was first tutor to Alexander the Great.

5th: Said “There are no longer Pyrenees.”

6th: The Puritan Poet.

7th: The Locksmith King.

8th: The woman “who drank up her husband.”

9th: The Architect of St. Peter’s, Rome.

10th: The Miner King.

11th: Surnamed The King Maker.

12th: The woman who married the murderer of her husband, and of her husband’s father.

13th: The Architect of St. Paul’s, London.

14th: The man who spoke fifty-eight languages; whom Byron called “a Walking Polyglot.”

15th: A death-note, and a father’s pride.

16th: The Bard of Ayrshire.

17th: The Knight “without fear, and without reproach.”

18th: Refused, because he dared not accept, the crown of England.

19th: Whose vile maxim was “every man has his own price.”

20th: The king who had an emperor for his foot-stool.

21st: The conqueror of the conqueror of Napoleon.

22d: The inventor of gunpowder.

23d: The king who entered the enemy’s camp, disguised as a harper.

24th: The greatest English navigator of the eighteenth century.

25th: The inventor of the art of printing.

26th: Whom Napoleon called “the bravest of the brave.”

27th: Who first discovered that the earth is round.

28th: The diplomatic conqueror of Napoleon.

29th: The inventor of the reflecting telescope.

30th: The conqueror of Pharsalia.

31st: The inventor of the safety lamp.

32d: First introduced tobacco into England.

33d: Discovered the Antarctic Continent.

34th: The present poet laureate of England.

35th: His immediate predecessor.

36th: The first of the line.

37th: Surnamed “the Madman of the North.”

38th: The young prince who carried a king captive to England.

39th: First sailed around the world.

40th: Said “language was given us to enable us to conceal our thoughts.”

41st: The Father of History.

* * * * *

DISHES, RELISHES, DESSERT.

1: Natural caskets of valuable gems.

2: Material and immaterial.

3: The possessive case of a pronoun and an ornament.

4: A sign of the zodiac, (pluralized).

5: One-third of Cesar’s celebrated letter, and the centre of the solar system.

6: Where Charles XII. went after the battle of Pultowa.

7: Whose English namesake Pope called “the brightest, wisest, meanest of mankind.”

8: A celebrated English essayist.

9: Formerly a workman’s implement.

10: The ornamental part of the head.

11: An island in Lake Ontario.

12: Timber, and the herald of the morning.

13: A share in a rocky pathway.

14: The unruly member.

15: The earth, and a useful article.

16: An iron vessel, and eight ciphers.

17: A letter placed before what sufferers long for.

18: Like values, and odd ends.

19: A preposition, a piece of furniture, and a vowel, (pluralized).

20: An insect, followed by a letter, (pluralized).

21: The employment of some women, and the dread of all.

22: A kind of carriage, and a period of time.

23: A net for the head, an organ of sense, an emblem of beauty.

24: By adding two letters, you’ll have an Eastern conqueror.

25: Five-sevenths of a name not wholly unconnected with Bleak House and Borrioboola Gha.

26: An underground room, and a vowel.

27: Skill, part of a needle, and to suffocate, (pluralized).

28: Antics.

29: An intimation burdens.

30: What if it should lose its savor?

31: Where you live a contented life; a hotel, and a vowel.

32: The staff of life.

33: What England will never become.

34: Scourges.

35: Running streams.

36: A domestic fowl, and the fruit of shrubs.

37: Married people.

38: A Holland prince serene, (pluralized).

39: To waste away, and Eve’s temptation, (pluralized).

40: Four-fifths of a month, and a dwelling, (pluralized).

41: Busybodies.

42: What Jeremiah saw in a vision.

43: Very old monkeys.

44: Approach convulsions.

45: Small blocks for holding bolts.

* * * * *

UNGUESSED RIDDLES.

As, on Louis Gaylord Clarke’s authority, “no museum is complete without the club that killed Captain Cook”--he had seen it in six--so no collection of riddles can be considered even presentable without the famous enigma so often republished, and always with the promise of “£50 reward for a solution.” It was first printed in the _Gentlemen’s Magazine_, London, in March, 1757.

The compiler of this little book has no hope of winning the prize, and leaves the lists open to her readers, with a hope that some one of them may succeed in “guessing” not only this, but the next riddle, of whose true answer she has not the faintest idea.

The noblest object in the works of art;
The brightest scenes which Nature can impart;
The well-known signal in the time of peace;
The point essential in a tenant’s lease;
The farmer’s comfort as he drives the plough;
A soldier’s duty, and a lover’s vow;
A contract made before the nuptial tie;
A blessing riches never can supply;
A spot that adds new charms to pretty faces;
An engine used in fundamental cases;
A planet seen between the earth and sun;
A prize that merit never yet has won;
A loss which prudence seldom can retrieve;
The death of Judas, and the fall of Eve;
A part between the ancle and the knee;
A Papist’s toast, and a physician’s fee;
A wife’s ambition, and a parson’s dues;
A miser’s idol, and the badge of Jews.
If now, your happy genius can divine
The corresponding word in every line,
By the first letter plainly may be found
An ancient city that is much renowned.

The other unguessed, if not unguessable, riddle claims to come from Cambridge, and is as follows:

A Headless man had a letter to write;
It was read by one who had lost his sight;
The Dumb repeated it, word for word;
And he was Deaf who listened and heard.

(See Key.)

* * * * *

QUESTIONS NOT TO BE ANSWERED UNTIL THE WORLD IS WISER.

Considering how useful the ocean is to mankind, are poets justified in calling it “a _waste_ of waters”?

How can we catch _soft_ water when it is raining hard?

Where is the chair that “Verbum sat” in?

How does it happen that _Fast_ days are always provokingly _slow_ days?

How is it that a storm looks heavy when it keeps lightening? And the darker it grows, the more it lightens?

When it is said of a man that “he never forgets himself,” are we to understand that his conduct is absolute perfection, or that it is the perfection of selfishness?

* * * * *

PARADOXES.

1st. Polus instructed Ctesiphon in the art of pleading. Teacher and pupil agreed that the tuition-fee should be paid when the latter should win his first case. Some time having gone by, and the young man being still without case or client, Polus, in despair of his fee, brought the matter before the Court, each party pleading his own cause. Polus spoke first, as follows:

“It is indifferent to me how the Court may decide this case. For, if the decision be in my favor, I recover my fee by virtue of the judgment; but, if my opponent wins the case, this being his first, I obtain my fee according to the contract.”

Ctesiphon, being called on for his defense, said:

“The decision of the Court is indifferent to _me_. For, if in my favor, I am thereby released from my debt to Polus. But, if I lose the case, the fee cannot be demanded, according to our contract.”

2d. A certain king once built a bridge, and decreed that all persons about to cross it, should be interrogated as to their destination. If they told the truth they should be permitted to pass unharmed; but, if they answered falsely, they should be hanged on a gallows erected at the centre of the bridge. One day a man, about to cross, was asked the usual question, and replied:

“I am going to be hanged on that gallows!”

Now, if they hanged him, he had told the truth, and ought to have escaped; but, if they did not hang him, he had “answered falsely,” and ought to have suffered the penalty of the law.