Chapter V: Act II: Scene I

_The last of the First Act repeated; but the distance now presents a richly cultivated country.—The bramble is grown into a lofty tree, and all that remains of_ RIP’S _gun is its rusty barrel, which is at the foot of the tree._

_Bird Music._—RIP _discovered extended on the ground, asleep; his hair grey, and beard grown to an unusual length.—The hour of __ the scene is gray dawn and birds from sky and hill are chirping._(133)

RIP.

[_Speaking in his sleep._] Mother Van Winkle! [Dame](134) Van Winkle!
what are you arter? Don’t be always badgering; will you never allow poor
Rip a moment’s quiet? Curse it! don’t throw de hot water about so,
you’ll scald one’s eyes, and so you will, and no mistake; and so you
have. [_He awakens in sudden emotion._] Eh! by dunder! what’s all
dis,—where am I—in the name of goodness where am I? [_Gazing around._]
On the Catskill Mountains, by all that’s miraculous! Egad! my rib will
play the very devil with me for stopping out all night. There will be a
fine peal sounded when I get home. [_Rises._](135) How confoundedly
stiff and sore my joints do feel; surely I must have been sleeping for a
pretty long time! Asleep! [no;](136) I was awake and enjoying myself
with as jolly a rum set of codgers as ever helped to toom out a keg of
Hollands. I danced, and egad, drank with them, till I was pretty blue,
and dat’s no mistake;—but confound it, they shouldn’t have caught me
napping, for ’tis plain they have taken themselves off [like an
unceremonious pack of—pack of—give an eye tooth to know who they
were.(137) [_Looking around._] Where is my gun? I left it on a little
bush. [_On examining he finds the rusty barrel of his gun._] Hillo!
[come up, here’s a grab!](138) the unmannerly set of sharpers! stolen
one of the best fowling-pieces that ever made a crack; and left this
[worthless,](139) rusty barrel, by way of exchange! What will Dame Van
Winkle say to this! By the hookey! but she’ll comb my hair finely! Now,
I went to sleep beneath that hickory;—’twas a mere bush. Can I be
dreaming still? Is there any one who will be [good](140) enough to tell
me whether it is so or not? Be blowed if I can make head or tail
[o’nt.](141) One course only now remains,—to pluck up resolution, go
back to Dame Van Winkle, and by dunder! she’ll soon let me know whether
I’m awake or not!(142)

[_Music.—Exit._

*Footnotes*

133 In K., the scene opens thus:

_The_ AERIAL SPIRITS _in Tableau._—_Dance of the_ SPIRITS _to the
gleams of the rising sun._—_Tableau._

SPIRIT OF THE MOUNTAIN. [_Speaks._]

Wake, sleeper, wake, rouse from thy slumbers.
The rosy cheeked dawn is beginning to break,
The dream-spell no longer thy spirit encumbers.
Gone is its power, then wake, sleeper, wake.

The Spirits of Night can no longer enchain thee,
The breeze of the morn now is striving to shake
Sweet dewdrops like gems from the copsewood and forest
tree.
All nature is smiling, then wake, sleeper, wake.

_Tableau.—They disappear as the clouds gradually pass away
and a full burst of bright sunshine illumines the scene._]

134 “Frau” in K.

135 In K., stage direction reads,“_Rises with difficulty._” All through
this speech in K., the dialect is pronounced.

136 “nein” in K.

137 Not in K.

138 In K., “donner unt blitzen.”

139 Not in K.

140 “goot” in K.

141 In K., “of him.”

142 In K., speech ends, [_Moves painfully._] “My legs do seem as if they
vould not come after me.”

SCENE II.(143)

_A well-furnished apartment in the house of_ KNICKERBOCKER.

LORRENNA, _now a woman, enters._

LORRENNA.

Alas, what a fate is mine! Left an orphan at an early age,—a relation’s
bounty made me rich, but, to-day, this fatal day—poverty again awaits me
unless I bestow my hand without my heart! Oh, my poor father! little did
you know the misery you have entailed upon your child.

KNICKERBOCKER _and_ ALICE _enter, arm in arm. They are much more corpulent than when seen in Act I and dressed in modern attire_,—ALICE _in the extreme of former fashion._

KNICKERBOCKER.

Decided that cause in the most judgematical like manner. White wasn’t
black. Saw that in a twinkling; no one disputed my argument. [_Speaking
as entering._] Come along, spouse! Lauks! how you do waddle up and down,
side to side, like one of our butter-laden luggers in a squall, as the
Dutchmen have it. Ah, Lorrenna, you here? but you appear more depressed
than customary. Those saddened looks are by no means pleasing to those
who would ever wish to see you cheerful. What the dickens prevents your
being otherwise when all around are so anxious for your happiness!

LORRENNA.

Truly, am I beholden for your protection and ever grateful. But to place
a smile on the brow whilst sorrow lingers in the bosom is a deceptive
penance to the wearer—painful to those around who mark and must perceive
the vizard; to say that I am happy would be inconsistent with truth. The
persecutions of Herman Van Slaus—

ALICE.

Ah! my dear Lorrenna, many a restless night have I had on that varlet’s
account, as spouse knows.

KNICKERBOCKER.

That’s as true as there’s ghosts in the Catskills, as Dutchmen have it;
for be darned if a single night passes that Alice suffers me to go to
sleep peaceably.

ALICE.

Well, well; cheer thee, my niece; there is bounteous intelligence in
store; nor think there is any idle fiction in this brain, as our divine
poets picture.

KNICKERBOCKER.

There, there, Alice is getting into her romance again,—plain as my
fist—she has been moonified ever since she became a subscriber for books
at the new library! Planet struck, by gum, as philosophers have it, and—

ALICE.

And you have said so little to the purpose, that I must now interpose.
My dear Lorrenna—Gustaffe—’tis your aunt who speaks—

KNICKERBOCKER.

There, now, pops in her word before a magistrate.

LORRENNA.

My Gustaffe! ha! say!—

KNICKERBOCKER.

Would have told you in a brace of shakes, as gamblers have it, if she
hadn’t thrown the dice first. Yes, my pretty chicky—Gustaffe’s vessel is
now making up the Hudson; so, cheer thee! cheer thee, I say! your lover
is not far off.

LORRENNA.

Gustaffe so near? blessed intelligence! Oh, the happiest wishes of my
heart are gratified! But are you certain? Do not raise my hopes without
cause. Are you quite certain? speak, dear aunt; are you indeed assured,
Gustaffe’s vessel has arrived?

KNICKERBOCKER.

Didn’t think fit to break the news too suddenly, but you have it.

ALICE.

“The ship with wide-expanded canvas glides along and soon”—I forget the
remainder of the quotation; but ’tis in the delectable work, “Robinson
Crusoe”—soon will you hear him hail. [_A knock is heard._] My stars
foretell that this is either him—

KNICKERBOCKER.

Or somebody else, as I suppose.

_Enter_ SOPHIA.

SOPHIA.

Oh, sir; Squire Knickerbocker, Herman, son of the late Derric Van Slaus,
is in the hall.

ALICE.

That’s not the him whom I expected, at all events.

KNICKERBOCKER.

Son of the individual whom I succeeded as burgomaster? Talk of the
devil—now, I don’t know how it is, but I’m always squalmish when in
company of these lawyers that’s of his cast. _Qui Tam._

SOPHIA.

He wishes to be introduced. What is your pleasure?

KNICKERBOCKER.

Let him be so, by all means. An honest man needn’t fear the devil.
[_Exit_ SOPHIA.

LORRENNA.

Excuse my presence, uncle. To hear him repeat his claims, would but
afflict a heart already agonized: and with your leave, I will withdraw.
[_Exit._

KNICKERBOCKER.

Aye, aye; let me alone to manage him, as a barrister says to his client
when he cross-questions a witness. See Miss Lorrenna to her chamber,
Mrs. Knickerbocker. This Herman is a d——d rogue, as the English have it;
and he’ll go to the dominions below, as the devil will have it, and as I
have had it for the last twenty years.

ALICE.

And I tell you, to your comfort, if you don’t send the varlet quick off
with a flea in his ear, you shall have it. Yes, Squire Knickerbocker,
you shall have it, be assured. So says Mrs. Knickerbocker, you shall
have it. [_Exit._

KNICKERBOCKER.

Truly, I’ve had plenty of it from you for the last eighteen years.

_Enter_ HERMAN.

HERMAN.

Sir, I wait upon you once more. The period is now expired when my just
claim, which you have so long protracted, can be vainly disputed. A vain
and idle dispute of justice.

KNICKERBOCKER.

Precious fine, indeed, sir,—but, my ward has a mighty strong reluctance
to part with her fortune, and much more so to make you her partner for
life. You are not exactly to her liking, nor to her in the world’s
generally.

HERMAN.

One or the other she is compelled to. You are aware, sir, that the law
is on my side! the law, sir—the law, sir!

KNICKERBOCKER.

Oh, yes! And, no doubt, every quibble that it offers will be twisted to
the best purpose for your interest. You’re a dabster at chicane, or
you’re preciously belied.

HERMAN.

You will not, I presume, dispute the signature of the individual who
formed the contract?

KNICKERBOCKER.

Oh, no! not dispute Rip’s signature, but his error in judgement. I
happened to be a cabinet councillor at the very moment my deceased
relative, who was _non compos mentis_, at the time, clapped his pen to a
writing, artfully extracted from him by your defunct father, whose
memory is better forgotten than remembered.

HERMAN.

Sir, I came here, not to meet insult; I came hither, persuaded you would
acknowledge my right, and to prevent a publicity that may be painful to
both parties. You are inclined to dispute them; before a tribunal shall
they be arbitrated; and, knowing my claims, Mr. Knickerbocker, know well
that Lorrenna or her fortune must be mine. [_Exit._

KNICKERBOCKER.

You go to Davy Jones, as the seamen have it. Lorrenna shall never be
yours, and if ever she wants a cent whilst I have one, my name isn’t
Knickerbocker;—damme, as the dandies have it.

LORRENNA _enters, with_ ALICE.

LORRENNA.

My dear guardian, you have got rid of Herman, I perceive.

KNICKERBOCKER.

I wish I had, with all my soul; but he sticks to his rascally
undertaking like a crab to its shell; egad, there will be no dislodging
him unless he’s clapped into a cauldron of boiling water, as fishmongers
have it.

ALICE.

And boiled to rags. But, husband! husband, I say!

KNICKERBOCKER.

Mr. Knickerbocker, my dear, if you please.

ALICE.

Well, then, Mr. Knickerbocker, my dear, if you please, we have been
looking out at the window to ascertain who came and went, and have
discovered a fine, handsome fellow galloping towards the town, and I
shouldn’t at all wonder if it wasn’t—

GUSTAFFE _rushes in._

LORRENNA.

[_Hurries to him._] My dear, dear Gustaffe!

GUSTAFFE.

[_Embracing her._] My tender, charming Lorrenna!

KNICKERBOCKER.

Why, Gustaffe! Bless us! why, how the spark has grown.

ALICE.

Not quite so corpulent as you, spouse.

KNICKERBOCKER.

Spouse! Mr. Knickerbocker, if you please. Truly, wife, we have both
increased somewhat in corporal, as well as temporal substance, since
Gustaffe went to sea. But you know, Alice—

ALICE.

Mrs. Knickerbocker, if you please.

KNICKERBOCKER.

Well, Mrs. Knickerbocker—

GUSTAFFE.

Why, Knickerbocker, you have thriven well of late.

KNICKERBOCKER.

I belong to the corporation, and we must support our corporation as well
as it. But not a word about the pig, as the butchers have it, when you
were a little boy, and Alice courting me.

ALICE.

I court you, sirrah? what mean you?

KNICKERBOCKER.

Sirrah! Mr. Knickerbocker, if you please. Why, then, deary—we didn’t
like anyone to intrude on our society; do you take the hint? as the
gamblers have it. Come along, Alice—Mrs. Knickerbocker, I would say—let
us leave the lovers to themselves.

ALICE.

Again they meet, and sweet’s the love that meets return.

_Exeunt_ KNICKERBOCKER _and_ ALICE, _singing in concert_, “Again they meet.”

GUSTAFFE.

My dear Lorrenna, why this dejected look?—It is your own Gustaffe
enfolds you in his arms.

LORRENNA.

Alas! I am no longer worthy of your love,—your friendship. A fatal bond
extracted from my lamented father has severed us forever—I am devoid of
fortune.

GUSTAFFE.

Lorrenna, you have been the star that has guided my bark,—thee, my
compass—my north pole,—and when the magnet refuses its aid to the
seaman, then will he believe that you have foundered in affection, or
think that I would prove faithless from the loss of earthly pittance.

LORRENNA.

Shoals,—to speak in your nautical language—have long, on every side,
surrounded me; but, by my kind uncle’s advice, must we be guided.
[_Exit._

*Footnotes*

143 Scene II, in K., reads as follows:

SCENE SECOND.—_Chamber._

Enter NICHOLAS VEDDER and DAME VEDDER (_formerly_ DAME VAN WINKLE).

DAME. ’Tis very hard for the poor girl.
VEDDER. Yes; but ’tis your fault. You shouldn’t have had a fool and
a sot for your first husband.
DAME. [_Aside._] And I didn’t ought to have had a bear for my
second.
VEDDER. What did you say?
DAME. Nothing—nothing.
VEDDER. Well, don’t say it again. Because Lowena will have to be the
wife of Herman Van Slaus, that’s settled!
DAME. But he’s a most disreputable man, and my poor child detests
him.
VEDDER. Well, she won’t be the first wife that has detested her
husband.
DAME. No; I should think not, indeed.
VEDDER. You should think not! What do you mean by that?
DAME. Nothing!
VEDDER. Well, don’t mean it again. What, do you suppose that I’ll
suffer my daughter-in-law to sacrifice her fortune—a
fortune of which we shall have our share?—Herman has
promised that.
DAME. Herman will promise anything; and you know that my poor girl
is doatingly fond of young Gustaffe.
VEDDER. Well, I can’t help that; but I am not going to allow her to
make a beggar of herself and us too, for any nonsense
about the man of her heart.
DAME. Hers will break if she is compelled to—
VEDDER. Nonsense—a woman’s heart is about the toughest object in
creation.
DAME. You have given me plenty of proof that you think so.
VEDDER. What do you intend to imply by that?
DAME. Nothing!
VEDDER. Well, don’t imply it again—don’t, because—

_Enter_ Knickerbocker _and_ ALICE, _arm-in-arm—both grown stout._

KNICKERBOCKER. Halloa! what’s going on—a matrimonial tiff? My wife
has just been giving me a few words, because I told her
that she waddles up and down, and rolls about like one
of our butter-laden luggers in a squall, as the Dutchmen
have it.
ALICE. You have no occasion to talk, Mr. Knickerbocker, for, I am
sure, your corporation—
KNICKERBOCKER. Yes, I belong to the town corporation, and to look
respectable, am obliged to have one of my own. Master
Vedder, a word with you. [_Talks aside with him._
ALICE. [_Going to_ DAME.] You wish now, that my poor brother Rip
hadn’t died, don’t you?
DAME. [_Sighing._] But I thought Nicholas Vedder would have been
just as easy to manage: he was as mild as a dove before
our marriage.
ALICE. You ought to have known that to be allowed to wear the
inexpressibles by two husbands was more than the most
deserving of our sex had any right to expect.
DAME. Oh, dear me! I never thought that I should live to be any
man’s slave.
ALICE. Ah, we never know what we may come to! but your fate will be
a warning and example for me, if Mr. Knickerbocker
should take it into his head to leave me a widow.
VEDDER. Mrs. Vedder, what are you whispering about there?
DAME. Nothing!
VEDDER. Well, don’t whisper it any more.
ALICE. [_Aside_, to DAME.] Come along with me.
VEDDER. Mrs. Vedder, take yourself out of the room.
ALICE. Mr. Knickerbocker, I shall expect you to follow me
immediately.

[_Exeunt_ ALICE _and_ DAME.

KNICKERBOCKER. And this is the last day of the term fixed on by the
agreement!
VEDDER. Yes; and Herman is resolute, and so am I.
KNICKERBOCKER. I am sorry for poor Lowena.
VEDDER. She shouldn’t have had a fool for a father.
KNICKERBOCKER. It was unfortunate, but I can’t exactly see that it
was her fault. [_Exeunt._

SCENE III.

_The Town of_ RIP’S _nativity, instead of the Village as presented in first scene of the drama.—It is now a populous and flourishing settlement.—On the spot where_ RORY’S _tap-house formerly stood, is a handsome hotel, and the sign of_ “George III” _is altered into that of_ “George Washington.” _A settee in front, with table.—The harbour is filled with shipping.—Music at the opening of the scene._

SETH

[SLOUGH,](144) _the landlord, enters from the Hotel.—Loud shouts._

SETH.

Well, I reckon the election’s about bustin’ up. If that temperance
feller gets in I’m bound to sell out; for a rum-seller will stand no
more chance with him than a bob-tail cow in fly time.—[_Laugh._]—Hollo!
who is this outlandish critter? he looks as if he had been dead for
fifty years and was dug up to vote against the temperance ticket.—

_Music.—Enter_ MALE _and_ FEMALE VILLAGERS, _laughing._(_145_)_—Enter_ RIP,—_they gather round him._

RIP.

Where I was I wonder? my neiber frints, “knost you ty spricken?”(146)

VILLAGERS.

Ha, ha, ha!

1ST VILLAGER.

I say, old feller, you ain’t seed nothing of no old butter firkin with
no kiver on, no place about here?

RIP.

No butter firkin mit no kiver no place, no I ain’t seen him.

VILLAGERS.

Ha, ha, ha!

1ST VILLAGER.

Who’s your barber?—[_Strokes his chin.—All laugh and exeunt._

RIP.

I can’t understand dis: everything seems changed.—[_Strokes his
chin._]—Why, I’m changed too; why, my beard’s as long as a goat’s.

SETH.

[_Coming down._] Look here, old sucker, I guess you had better go home
and get shaved.

RIP.

My old woman will shave me when I gets home! Home, where is my home? I
went to the place where it used to was, and it wasn’t dere. Do you live
in Catskill?

SETH.

Well, I rather guess I dus—

RIP.

Do you know where I live?

SETH.

Well, to look at you, I should think you didn’t live nowhere in
particular, but stayed round in spots.

RIP.

You live in Catskill?

SETH.

Certain.

RIP.

You don’t know dat I belong here?

SETH.

No, I’m darned if I do. I should say you belonged to Noah’s ark—-

RIP.

Did you never hear in Catskill of one Rip Van Winkle?

SETH.

What, Rip Van Winkle, the greatest rum-sucker in the country?

RIP.

Dat is a fact—dat is him! ha! ha! now we shall see.

SETH.

Oh, yes, I’ve heard of him; the old coon’s been dead these twenty years.

RIP.

Den I am dead and dat is a fact. Well, poor Rip is dead. I’m sorry for
dat.—Rip was a goot fellow.

SETH.

I wish there was a whole grist just like him in Catskill. Why, they say
he could drink rum enough in one day to swim in.

RIP.

Don’t talk so much about rum; you makes me so dry as never was.

SETH.

Hold on a spell then, and I’ll fetch you something to wet your whistle.
[_Exit into house._

RIP.

Why, here is another change! dis was Rory’s house last night, [SETH
_re-enters._] mit de sign of George the Third.

SETH.

[The alteration of my sign is no bad sign for the country, I
reckon.](147)

RIP.

[_Reading._] “George Washington,”—who is he? [I remember a shoot of dat
name, dat served under Braddock, before I went to sleep.

SETH.

[_Giving him jug._] Well, if you’ve been asleep I guess he ar’n’t: his
enemies always found him wide awake and kicking; and that shoot, as you
call him, has planted the tree of liberty so everlasting tight in
Yankeeland, that all the kingdoms of the earth can’t root it out.](148)

RIP.

Well, here is General Washington’s goot health, and his family’s goot
health, ant may dey all live long ant prosper. So poor Rip Van Winkle is
dead, eh? [Now comes de poser;](149) if Rip is dead, [what has become of
his old woman?](150)

SETH.

She busted a blood-vessel swearing at a Yankee pedlar, and has gone to
kingdom come long ago.

RIP.

De old woman dead too? den her clapper is stopped at last. [_Pause._] So
de old woman is dead; well, she led me a hard life—she was de wife of my
bosom, she was mine frow for all dat. [_Whimpering._] I’m dead too, unt
dat is a fact. Tell me my frient—

SETH.

I can’t stop any longer—the polls are almost closing, and I must spread
the game for the boys. Hurrah, for rum drinking and cheap licence for
the retailers! that’s my ticket. [_Re-enter_ VILLAGERS,
_shouting._](151) Here, boys, see what you can make of this old
critter.—I give him up for the awfulest specimen of human nature in the
States. [_Exit into
house._

2D VILLAGER.

Are you a Federal or a Democrat?

RIP.

Fiddle who? damn who’s cat?

2D VILLAGER.

What’s your politics?

RIP.

Oh, I am on de safe side dere; I am a faithful subject of King George!

2D VILLAGER.

He’s a Tory! Kill him! Duck him!

VILLAGERS.

[To the horse pond! Duck him.](152)

_Music.—They seize_ RIP _and are about hurrying him off when_ GUSTAFFE _rushes in and throws them off._(153)

GUSTAFFE.

Stand back, [cowards.](154)

OMNES.

Cowards!

GUSTAFFE.

Yes, cowards! who but cowards would rush in numbers one grey-haired man?

RIP.

Yah, yah, dat’s a fact!

GUSTAFFE.

Sheer off! you won’t? then damme, here’s at ye. [_Drives them off._]
Tell me, old man, what cause had you given them to attack you?

RIP.

I don’t know; do you?

GUSTAFFE.

You appear bewildered: can I assist you?

RIP.

Just tell me where I live, dat’s all I want to know.

GUSTAFFE.

And don’t you know?

RIP.

I’m d——d fun I does.

GUSTAFFE.

What is your name?

RIP.

Why, I was Rip Van Winkle.

GUSTAFFE.

Rip Van Winkle? impossible!

RIP.

Well, I won’t swear to it myself.

GUSTAFFE.

Stay,—you have a daughter?

RIP.

To be sure I has: a pretty little girl about so old—Lorrenna; and I have
a son too, a lublicka boy, but my daughter is a girl.

GUSTAFFE.

Do you remember entering into a contract, binding your daughter to marry
Herman Van Slaus?

RIP.

Oh! I remember, de burgomaster came to my house last night mit a paper,
and I wrote my name down on it, but I was drunk.

GUSTAFFE.

Last night! His brain wanders: yet it must be he; come, come with me,
old man.

RIP.

Where are you going to take me to?

GUSTAFFE.

Your daughter.

RIP.

Yes, yes, take me to my child. Stop, my gracious!—I am so
changed,—suppose she should forget me too; no, no, she can’t forget her
poor father. Come, come!
[_Exeunt._

*Footnotes*

144 In K., “Kilderkin.”

145 In K., “_and pointing at_ RIP, _who comes_ on.”

146 In K., “Vhere I was I wonder? my kneiber freunds, sprechen sie
deutsch?”

147 Not in K.

148 Not in K. After “who is he,” read, “I do not know him, but—” and
continue with next Rip speech.

149 “But, now, I’m going to ask a ticklish question” in K. This speech
is in dialect in K.

150 In K., “is his old voman dead too?”
SETH. No. She’s alive and kicking.
RIP. Kicking—yes, she always vas dat.
SETH. And she’s married agin.
RIP. She’s done what agin?
SETH. She’s got a second husband.
RIP. Second husband!—I pities the poor creetur. But there vas—vill
you tell me, my friend—
SETH. I can’t stop any longer, because—

151 In K., the stage directions are, “VILLAGERS _hurry on, shouting._”

152 In K., read, “Duck him—duck him.”

153 In K., read, “_Music. All are rushing on_ RIP.—GUSTAVE _enters._”

154 In K., read, are you not ashamed—a score of you to attack a
single man?
RIP. [_Aside._] Yes. I am a single man—now my vife is marry agin;
dat is a fact!
From this point, the two plays differ so that what remains in Kerr
is here reproduced.
GUSTAVE. And a poor old, gray-haired man.
RIP. Yes, I am poor, dat is a fact; but I know I’m not old, and I
can’t be gray-haired.
GUSTAVE. Take yourselves off! What cause had you given them to
attack you?
VILLAGERS _sneak off._
RIP. I don’t know—do you?
GUSTAVE. [_Smiling._] How should I—
RIP. I say—vhere do I live?
GUSTAVE. Don’t you know?
RIP. I’m stewed fun I does. But, young man, you seems to know
somezing, so, perhaps you knows Rip Van Winkle?
GUSTAVE. Young Rip Van Winkle—I should think I do.
RIP. [_Aside._] Here is von vhat knows me! dat is goot!
GUSTAVE. I only wish his father hadn’t gone away and died, twenty
years ago.
RIP. [_Aside._] His fader! Ah! he means my young Rip, and I’m dead
myself arter all—dat is a fact.
GUSTAVE. Poor old Rip Van Winkle—perhaps you know his daughter?
RIP. His daughter—yes, I tink I—and she is not dead, like her fader?
GUSTAVE. No, thank heaven! and she would have been my wife before
this but for—
RIP. But for what, young man?
_Enter_ LOWENA.
LOWENA. Gustave. [_Moving to him._
GUSTAVE. Ah! dear Lowena!
RIP. Lowena! Ah! dat is my daughter—and I have a son too, a lublicka
boy; but my daughter is a girl, and I always lub my
leetle girl so much, ven she vas only so big—and I must
not hug her now to my poor heart, because she—she has
got another fader—and I am dead—yes, dey all tell me dat
is a fact! I am dead to meinself and—and I am dead to my
leetle girl.
LOWENA. Oh, yes, Gustave, it is indeed a sad misfortune for us both,
that my father should have entered into a contract which
had for its object to coerce me into becoming the wife
of Herman Van Slaus.
RIP. [_Aside._] Yes, dat is a fact. I remember, de burgomaster come
to my house last night mit a paper, and I wrote my name
down on it; but I vas trunk.
GUSTAVE. And having loved you so long, is it now impossible that you
can become my wife?
LOWENA. No, not impossible; but—oh, my poor dear father, if you had
but survived to see this day!
RIP. [_Aside._] I wish what I had—but I am dead, dat is a fact.
_Enter_ HERMAN VAN SLAUS.
LOWENA. Oh, Gustave! see, protect me from that wicked man—I will be
thine, and only thine!
HERMAN. No, Lowena; you will be _mine_, for you will not be suffered
to resign into my hands that fortune of which I covet
the possession, but which would lose half its value to
me if you come not with it.
RIP. [_Aside._] Dat is young Slaus; and he is as big a tam rascal as
vas his resbectable fader.
HERMAN. Hereafter, Lowena, I will cause you to repent that you have
given a rival to the man to whom, from your very
childhood, you have been pledged and bound.
RIP. Herman Van Slaus, _you_ are bledged to old Nick, and vill never
be redeemed.
HERMAN. Who is this miserable old wretch?
GUSTAVE. I would kill you sooner than you should become the husband
of my heart’s adored.
_Enter_ KNICKERBOCKER _and_ ALICE.
KNICKERBOCKER. So, there you are, Master Herman, sticking to your
rascally work like a crab to its shell, as fishmongers
have it.
ALICE. I should like to throw him into a saucepan of boiling water
till he was done to rags.
RIP. [_Aside._] Dat is my sister Alice—and dat is Knickerbocker—how
fat they both is got since last night! What great big
suppers they must have eat!
_Enter_ NICHOLAS VEDDER _and_ DAME VEDDER.
DAME. Oh, do try if you cannot save my poor girl!
RIP. [_Aside._] Tonner unt blitzen! dat is mein frau!
[_Retreating._] No, no! I forget—she not is mine frau
now! [_Chuckles._
DAME. Let him take half the fortune and—
VEDDER. What is that you observe?
DAME. Nothing—nothing!
VEDDER. Then don’t observe it any more.
DAME. I—I only—
VEDDER. [_Shouting._] Silence!
RIP. [_Aside._] Dat is goot! [_Laughing._] Mine frau have caught a
Tartar. De second one make her pay for de virst. Ha, ha,
ha! I’m stewed fun dat is a fact!
HERMAN. Nicholas Von Vedder, say—[_Producing paper._]—is this
contract to be fulfilled?
VEDDER. Certainly. Lowena, the time for trifling is past; you have
delayed until the very last hour, and must now at once
consent to become Herman’s wife.
LOWENA. Never! Welcome poverty, if I may be wealthy only with that
man for my husband. Whatever privations I may be made to
endure, I shall not repine; for he whom I love will
share them with me.
RIP. [_Aside._] Dat is mine own girl, I vill swear to dat.
GUSTAVE. I am poor, Lowena, but my love will give me courage to toil
manfully, and heaven will smile upon my efforts and
enable me to replace that fortune which, for my sake,
you so readily sacrifice.
HERMAN. Well, be it as you will. This document gives me a claim
which may not be evaded. [_Reads._] “We, Deidrich Van
Slous, Burgomaster, and Rip Van Winkle, desirous of
providing for the prosperity of our offspring, do hereby
mutually agree that Herman Van Slous, and Lowena Van
Winkle, shall be united on the demand of either.
Whosoever of those contracted fails in fulfilling the
agreement shall forfeit their fortune to the party
complaining.—Rip Van Winkle—Deidrich Van Slous.”
RIP. [_Aside._] Yes, dat is a fact—I remember dat baber, and I’ve
got him somevheres. [_Feels in his
pockets._
VEDDER. Lowena, I command that you consent to become Herman’s wife—I
will not suffer that your fortune be sacrificed to—
HERMAN. And here is the now useless codicil.
RIP. [_Advancing, paper in hand._] Let me read it. [_All turn
amazedly towards him._] “Should the said Rip Van Winkle
tink fit to annul dis contract vithin twenty years and a
day, he shall be at full liberty to do so.”
HERMAN. How came you by that document?
RIP. You see I’ve got it, and dat is a fact.
HERMAN. Who gave it to you?
RIP. Your old blackguard of a fader.
DAME. Oh, you are—you are—
RIP. Yes, I am—I am Rip Van Winkle! [_All start._—DAME, _with a loud
scream, falls into_ Knickerbocker’s _arms._] Dere! for
de first time in my life, I have doubled up my old
woman!
KNICKERBOCKER _carries off_ DAME.
LOWENA. Oh, it is my father—my dear, dear father! [_Runs into his
arms._
RIP. Yes, and you are mein taughter, my darling dat I always was
love so! Oh, bless your heart, how you have grown since
last night as you was a little girl.
ALICE. [_Embracing him._] Oh, my poor dear brother.
RIP. Yes, I tink I am your broder ’cos you is my sister.
KNICKERBOCKER _returns._
ALICE. And here is my husband.
RIP. He is a much deal uglier, dan he used to vas before.
KNICKERBOCKER. [_Embracing him._] My blessed brother-in-law.
VEDDER. Ah! and now you have come back, I suppose you want your
wife!
RIP. No, I’ll be tam if I do! You’ve got her, and you keep her—I
von’t never have her no more.
VEDDER. I sha’n’t have her—I have done with her, and glad to be rid
of her.
[_Exit._
RIP. Ha, ha! Then my poor frau is a vidder, with two husbands, an’
she ain’t got none at all.
HERMAN. It is Rip Van Winkle, and alive!
RIP. Yes, and to the best of my belief, I have not never been dead
at all.
HERMAN. And I am left to poverty and despair. [_Exit._
RIP. And serve you right too—I’m stewed fun dat is fact. [_Looking
round._] But I had a leetle boy, last night—vhere is my
young baby boy, my leetle Rip?
ALICE. I saw him just now—oh, here he is.
_Enter, young Rip Van Winkle, a very tall young man._
RIP. Is dat my leetle baby boy? How he is grown since last night.
Come here, you young Rip. I am your fader. Vell, he is
much like me—he is a beautiful leetle boy.
KNICKERBOCKER. But tell us, Rip, where have you hid yourself for the
last twenty years?
RIP. Ech woll! ech woll! Vhen I take mine glass, I vill tell mine
strange story, and drink the health of mine friends—and,
ladies and gentlemen, I will drink to your good hells
and your future families, and may you all—and may Rip
Van Winkle too—live long and brosber.
_Curtain._

SCENE IV.

KNICKERBOCKER’S _House as before._

KNICKERBOCKER, ALICE _and_ LORRENNA _enter._

KNICKERBOCKER.

Give me joy, dears; I’m elected unanimously—elected a member of the
Legislature.

ALICE.

Why, spouse!

KNICKERBOCKER.

Mr. Knickerbocker, if you please, my dear; damme! I’m so happy I could
fly to the moon, jump over a steeple, dance a new fandango on stilts.
[_Dances._] Fal, lal, la.

_Enter_ HERMAN.

KNICKERBOCKER.

Well, sir, what the devil do you want?

HERMAN.

I came to claim this lady’s fortune or her hand.

ALICE.

Knock him down, spouse.

KNICKERBOCKER.

Mr. Knickerbocker, my dear.

ALICE.

Oh, bother! I know if he comes near my niece, woman as I am, I’ll
scratch his eyes out.

HERMAN.

Mr. Knickerbocker.

KNICKERBOCKER.

The honourable member from —— County, if you please.

HERMAN.

The judge of the district will this day arrive and give judgement on my
appeal: my rights are definitive, and I question the whole world to
controvert them. We shall meet before the tribunal; then presume to
contend longer if you dare.
[_Exit._

KNICKERBOCKER.

’Twill be difficult, no doubt, but we’ll have a wrangle for the bone, as
the dog’s have it; there will be no curs found in our party, I’ll be
sworn. [_Aside._] Hang me, but I’m really a little chop fallen and there
is a strange sense of dizziness in my head which almost overcomes me.

LORRENNA.

My dear uncle, what is to be done in this emergency?

KNICKERBOCKER.

Done! your fortune is done for: but if you ever want a cent whilst I
have one, may I be sent to the devil, that’s all.

GUSTAFFE.

[_Entering._] Bravo! Nunkey Knickerbocker! you are no blind pilot. Awake
to breakers and quicksand, Knickerbocker.

KNICKERBOCKER.

Knickerbocker! the honourable Mr. Knickerbocker, if you please; I’m now
a member of the Legislature and, curse me, if I’d change my dignified
station as representative of an independent people, for that of the
proudest potentate who holds supremacy by corruption or the bayonet.
[_Exeunt._

SCENE LAST.

_The Court House.—An arm-chair at the back, in front of which is a large table, covered with baize.—On each side a gallery.—On the right of table are chairs._

_Music.—The_ JUDGE _discovered, seated.—The galleries filled with auditors_.—HERMAN.—KNICKERBOCKER.

JUDGE.

Mr. Knickerbocker, you will please to bring your client into court.

KNICKERBOCKER _goes off, and returns with_ Lorrenna _and_ ALICE.

JUDGE.

Be pleased to let your ladies take seats. [LORRENNA _and_ ALICE _sit._

HERMAN.

And now, sir, I presume ’tis time to enter on my cause. Twenty years
have elapsed since this contract, this bond was signed by the father of
that lady, by which she or her fortune were made mine. Be pleased to
peruse. [_Presenting the document to the_ JUDGE.

JUDGE.

[_Reading._] “We, Derric Van Slaus, Burgomaster, and Rip Van Winkle,
desirous of providing for the prosperity of our offspring, do hereby
mutually agree that Herman Van Slaus and Lorrenna Van Winkle shall be
united on the demand of either. Whosoever of those contracted, fails in
fulfilling this agreement, shall forfeit their fortune to the party
complaining.

“Rip Van Winkle”
“Derric Van Slaus.”

But here’s a codicil. “Should the said Rip Van Winkle think fit to annul
this contract within twenty years and a day, he shall be at full liberty
to do so. (Signed) Derric Van Slaus.” The document is perfect in every
form. Rip Van Winkle, ’tis stated, is defunct. Is there any one present
to prove his signature?

HERMAN.

Mr. Knickerbocker, if he dare be honest, will attest it.

KNICKERBOCKER.

Dare be honest, sir! presume you to question my veracity? How was that
bond obtained?

HERMAN.

Why should you ask? The late Rip Van Winkle, anxious for the prosperity
of his offspring, though too indolent to provide for their subsistence,
persuaded my deceased father to form this alliance.

KNICKERBOCKER.

It’s a lie! Hum!—

JUDGE.

Restrain this violence! a court of justice must not be swayed by such
proceedings.

HERMAN.

Behold! sir, a picture of their general effrontery. In a public tribunal
to threaten those, who, in pleading their own rights, but advocate the
cause of justice.

LORRENNA.

[_Comes down stage._] All my hopes vanish—bleak and dreary is the
perspective.

HERMAN.

[_Advances._] At last I triumph! Now, lady, your hand or your
inheritance.

LORRENNA.

My hand! never! Welcome were every privation to an union with one so
base.

JUDGE.

It appears, then, that this signature is not denied by the defendant,
and in that case the contract must stand in full force against her.

LORRENNA.

Oh, Alice, take me home: poverty, death, anything rather than wed the
man I cannot love. [_She is led off by_
ALICE.

KNICKERBOCKER.

Why, damn it, Judge!

JUDGE.

Mr. Knickerbocker!

KNICKERBOCKER.

I beg pardon, I meant no disrespect to the court, but I had thought
after—

JUDGE.

I have decided, Mr. Knickerbocker.

KNICKERBOCKER.

Oh! you have decided. Yes, and a damned pretty mess you’ve made of it.
But I sha’n’t abide by your decision; I’ll appeal to a higher court. I
am now a member of the Legislature, and if they allow such blocks as you
on the bench, I’ll have a tax upon timber, sir—yes, sir, a tax upon
timber. [_Exit, in a rage._

JUDGE.

Twenty years and a day is the period within which the contract could be
cancelled by the negature of Rip Van Winkle, and as he has rendered no
opposition during this lengthened time—

HERMAN.

’Tis not very probable, sir, that he will alter his intentions by
appearing to do so within the few brief hours that will complete the
day. Can the grave give up its inmates? No, no! Who dare pretend to
dispute my rights? The only one who could do so has been dead these
twenty years.

_Enter_ GUSTAFFE _and_ RIP.

GUSTAFFE.

’Tis false! Rip Van Winkle stands before you!

OMNES.

Rip Van Winkle!

HERMAN.

You, Rip Van Winkle! Van Winkle come back after such a lapse of time?
Impossible!

RIP.

Nothing at all impossible in anything Rip Van Winkle undertakes, and,
though all of you are in the same story, dat he has been gone so long,
he is nevertheless back soon enough, to your sorrow, my chap.

HERMAN.

If this, indeed, be Rip Van Winkle, where has he hid himself for twenty
years?

JUDGE.

What answer do you make to this?

RIP.

Why, dat I went up in de mountains last night, and got drunk mit some
jolly dogs, and when I come back dis morning I found myself dead for
twenty years.

HERMAN.

You hear him, sir.

JUDGE.

This is evidently an impostor; take him into custody.

GUSTAFFE.

Stay! delay your judgement one moment till I bring the best of
proofs—his child and sister. [_Exit._

HERMAN.

If you are Rip Van Winkle, some one here would surely recognize you.

RIP.

To be sure dey will! every one knows me in Catskill. [_All gather round
him and shake their heads._] No, no, I don’t know dese peoples—dey don’t
know me neither, and yesterday dere was not a dog in the village but
would have wagged his tail at me; now dey bark. Dere’s not a child but
would have scrambled on my knees—now dey run from me. Are we so soon
forgotten when we’re gone? Already dere is no one wot knows poor Rip Van
Winkle.

HERMAN.

So, indeed, it seems.

RIP.

And have you forgot de time I saved your life?

HERMAN.

Why, I—I—I—

RIP.

In course you have! a short memory is convenient for you, Herman.

HERMAN.

[_Aside_] Should this indeed be he! [_Aloud._] I demand judgement.

JUDGE.

Stay! If you be Rip Van Winkle you should have a counterpart of this
agreement. Have you such a paper?

RIP.

Paper! I don’t know; de burgomaster gave me a paper last night. I put it
in my breast, but I must have loosed him. No, no—here he is! here is de
paper! [_Gives it to_ JUDGE, _who reads it._

JUDGE.

’Tis Rip Van Winkle! [_All gather round and shake hands with him._

RIP.

Oh! everybody knows me now!

HERMAN.

Rip Van Winkle alive! then I am dead to fortune and to fame; the fiends
have marred my brightest prospects, and nought is left but poverty and
despair. [_Exit._

GUSTAFFE.

[_Without._] Room there! who will keep a child from a long lost father’s
arms?

_Enter_ GUSTAFFE, _with_ LORRENNA, ALICE _and_ KNICKERBOCKER.

LORRENNA.

My father! [_Embraces_ RIP.

RIP.

Are you mine daughter? let’s look at you. Oh, my child—but how you have
grown since you was a little gal. But who is dis?

ALICE.

Why, brother!—

RIP.

Alice! give us a hug. Who is dat?

ALICE.

Why, my husband—Knickerbocker.

RIP.

Why Knick, [_Shakes hands._] Alice has grown as big round as a tub; she
hasn’t been living on pumpkins. But where is young Rip, my baby?

KNICKERBOCKER.

Oh, he was in the court-house just now. Ah! here he comes!

_Enter_ RIP VAN WINKLE, JR.

RIP.

Is dat my baby? come here, Rip, come here, you dog; I am your father.
What an interesting brat it is.

KNICKERBOCKER.

But tell us, Rip, where have you hid yourself for the last twenty years?

RIP.

Ech woll—ech woll. I will take mine glass and tell mine strange story
and drink the health of mine frients. Unt, ladies and gents, here is
your goot health and your future families and may you all live long and
prosper.

THE END.

TRANSCRIBERS’ NOTES

The following substitutions were applied to the text by Project Gutenberg proofers and transcribers—

On page 43, Rory speaking:

though, for its full of emptiness.—Ha, ha, ha! though, for it’s full of emptiness.—Ha, ha, ha!

In the long footnote on page 62, Dame speaking:

Her’s will break if she is compelled to— Hers will break if she is compelled to—