Chapter II: Part 2

In the course of another year or two, Baulin not only had shown an interest in the gospel, but had a desire to take up her abode in the mission compound to assist with the cooking for the other natives who lived there. In this capacity she faithfully labored a few months, during which time she came for prayer for salvation. The missionaries in charge had found difficulty in obtaining native help for their own kitchen. One day it suddenly dawned upon the mistress of the house that Baulin might be trained for the culinary department. When the idea was suggested, this dear young girl was delighted at the thought of promotion in usefulness. Arrangements were immediately made, and the new plan proved successful. Though she did not so much as know how to pare potatoes, fry eggs, nor set the table for foreign food, yet her eager willingness to learn made her easy to teach. Her natural inability to take responsibility, to manage, and to exercise her own judgment, were points greatly against her becoming a competent cook. However, by the mistress continuing to plan the meals and to bear the general responsibility, Baulin soon developed into a very reliable and useful worker.

Two years later when the missionaries moved to another station, she was pleased to accompany them and to continue as their cook. In the meantime, however, a serious change came over her uncle, which made Baulin entertain fears concerning her former engagement for marriage. This man, who was so dependable before, gradually became entangled in business matters, swindled others out of a considerable amount of money, resulting in his utter spiritual downfall. Instead of making efforts to rise again, he seemed to sink deeper and deeper into sin, until all hope was given up for his return. Baulin was exceedingly fond of her own people, and her relatives were not a few. But after her uncle had backslidden, she began to receive more or less persecution from her people. It so happened that the new station to which she accompanied the new missionaries was the city in which her mother lived. She was employed there as servant for a high-class family. The mother, though having been in contact with the Christian religion for many years, still remained a rank heathen, having great faith in the worship of idols. The time came when the missionaries were about to depart on furlough to the homeland, and now a serious question confronted Baulin: "What shall I do, or what can I do?"

But before continuing this narrative, let me say here that during the three years that she was employed as cook, she made a perfect record of honesty and uprightness--something which probably can not be said of one out of a hundred of Chinese cooks. Not once was she even suspected of taking without permission, so much as a crust of bread or a spoonful of anything belonging to the foreign kitchen. When other natives of the compound would ask her for a bit of food which happened to be left in the dishes, she would never give it without first asking permission to do so. She seldom broke dishes, but when she did, she lost no time in making acknowledgment. Thus her honesty, conscientiousness, and modesty won a warm place in the hearts of those whom she served, and when she appealed to them for help in solving the problem which so perplexed her mind about the time that she must be separated from them, they gladly shared her burden. It was by seeing her stedfastness through this trial that her real worth could be appreciated more than ever before.

From a Chinese point of view, she was still under age, though she was now about eighteen. Her mother had never given up the idea that she should be married to her cousin when they both became old enough. At this time her uncle was in a backslidden state, and in all probability would insist on the marriage. The boy himself, her cousin, was growing up rather a worthless young man. He had been in school more or less, but was not extra bright. Recently his father had placed him as an apprentice in a shoeshop. He had shown no inclination whatsoever toward spiritual things, though he had had many advantages of hearing the gospel. Baulin knew that she would soon be out of employment, and this meant much to the young girl; for she was now fully self-supporting and, besides, had helped her uncle more than once in his financial straits. To return to the former mission station, at which city most of her people lived, seemed the only open door before her. Yet this meant more persecution, and should she have to return to the silk-factory to work, she would be deprived of attending meeting, for the girls and women employed there must toil on from early morn till late at night, seven days a week.

It was when she heard that her uncle was making a business trip to the city where she was now living and where her mother also lived, that she became more anxious concerning a quick settlement of that marriage question, and it was in this that she earnestly begged the missionary to help. A meeting was called at which Baulin, her mother, her uncle, the missionary, and a few others were present. Baulin requested a written agreement signed by her mother and uncle, that the engagement to her cousin was broken, and that they should have no power to compel her engagement to any one else, but that she should have the right herself to make choice of her life companion. The question was discussed, but met with extreme opposition at first by the mother, insomuch that the girl finally declared that because she was a Christian and desired to do the right she would die rather than be compelled to marry a man who was not a Christian and one whom she did not love. The uncle's greatest objection was that he had no money to buy another girl for his son, and the son would blame his father for not having a wife ready for him, according to Chinese custom.

After several meetings, hours of discussion, and much prayer on the part of the Christians, a paper and a duplicate were finally signed, which set this dear young Christian free from her childhood engagement, and oh, what a beaming countenance she wore! Keenly did she realize it would not be easy to return to her home city and face her heathen relatives, who would all be against her on account of the step she had taken, but she was very happy in knowing that her persecution was for righteousness' sake. Well able did she feel, through the grace of God, to meet the worst that might come.

Her joy was increased some days later, when word was received that the mission station in the same city where her people lived would be glad to use her as cook and general helper in the house. Thus she would not need to go back to the factory to earn a living, but could be employed more directly in the service of God and be under the care of the church.

I hope all who read this true story will not forget to breathe a prayer for this dear young girl, who so boldly took her stand for the truth and right, in the midst of opposition from heathen relatives. We can not but hope that she may some day be as reliable a spiritual worker as she is today a temporal worker.

Persecutions and Victories of an Evangelist

EXPERIENCE NUMBER 5

It is with pleasure and gratitude that I take advantage of this opportunity of telling of God's wonderful dealings with me. It is now a little over ten years since I was converted. I had the advantage of being reared in a Christian home. My parents having been saved for a good many years.

When I first heard of people who believed the entire Word of God as it was preached in the days of the apostles, I wondered what kind of people they were. Some of the ministers were conducting some meetings not far from where we lived, and, hearing of these people, I asked my father if it would not be possible for them to come to our community. Being surprized at my question and glad to hear that I was interested in hearing those people, he suggested that I should speak to them personally and ask them to come. These meetings were conducted about eight miles from our home.

It was a cold October day when I drove to the place with horse and buggy and asked the people to come to our town. They were glad for the invitation, and we returned to my home the same day. There was especially one thing about them which surprized me, and that was how happy and contented they seemed to be; but I was a little unwilling to believe that it was really possible for a person to enjoy religion, for my association with so-called Christian people had made the impression upon my mind that Christianity, or salvation, was only for those who could not enjoy themselves in the world.

When the company that were to hold the meeting came to our home, I decided to study and examine their lives to find out whether they really possessed the joy and satisfaction that I was longing for. Their quiet, devoted lives convinced me of the fact that I ought to become a Christian. Deep conviction settled down upon me in the meetings. My mother and father, whose lives had made a deep impression upon me, pleaded with me to yield to God, but I was still unwilling to surrender.

After the meetings closed I tried to quench the Spirit by indulging in worldly pleasures and associating with my old friends, but it seemed that the Spirit of God was working so powerfully upon me that it was impossible to resist him. I remember especially an experience one afternoon. I was brought face to face with the supreme question, Are you ready to meet God? I decided that I would not yield, but that I would enjoy the pleasure of sin and the world for some years and later become a Christian.

Not being able to quench the convictions that the Spirit of God had wrought upon me, I deliberately indulged in blasphemy, determined to make the Holy Spirit leave me, but I am glad to say that God was merciful to me in not permitting my soul to be lost. For a moment I felt as though I had committed the unpardonable sin, that heaven was closed, and that my soul was lost forever. But I turned to God with tears and a broken heart, the Spirit of God again strove with me, and my sins were mercifully forgiven. The joy of heaven filled my soul, and I received the assurance that my name was written in the Book of Life. This was November 5, 1905.

SANCTIFICATION

My soul was perfectly satisfied, and for some time I felt as though all that heaven could give to a human being in this world had been given to me. But later I began to realize the need of something more. I heard teaching on the doctrine of entire sanctification and began to study about it in the Bible. The knowledge thus obtained caused me to seek for the experience, but I did not receive it as soon as I had expected. After some very hard struggles and much disappointment I finally concluded that the teaching was wrong in regard to this matter and that it was impossible to obtain the experience as it had been presented to me. Trying to comfort myself with this thought, I let the matter rest for a while, but I was not satisfied.

About two years after my conversion I decided that this matter should be settled between God and my soul. Going to the Lord in earnest prayer, I made a perfect consecration of all to God. The Lord began talking to my soul, and he made it clear to me that the reason why I had not obtained the experience sooner was not because the doctrine I had heard was wrong, but because I had an exaggerated idea of what sanctification really would do. I was under the impression that everything in my human nature which had caused me trouble would be removed in sanctification. I had failed to see that in sanctification human desires are not taken away but sanctified. I saw clearly that the cause for the most of my troubles was that I had failed to discriminate between carnality and humanity.

While I was consecrating, the Lord spoke to me, not audibly but by his Spirit, and asked me if I was willing to go to Denmark with the gospel. I was able to surrender on all points but this one, seeing that going to a foreign country would conflict with all my plans for the future. I felt very much like Abraham when he went to Mount Moriah with his only son to offer him there upon God's altar. But seeing that this was the only way and desiring to obtain the experience, I surrendered, placed all on the altar, and immediately I was sanctified and baptized with the Holy Ghost. Praise the Lord!

There were no outward demonstrations, no special manifestations of the power of God; but the Holy Ghost, being enthroned in my heart, gave me a power over the world and self which I had not experienced heretofore. This glorious experience I have now enjoyed for several years, and it never was more precious to me than it is at the present time. Halleluiah!

GOING TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY

For a while I did not think more about my call to the work of God in Europe, but there was a deep longing in my soul to see people saved, and whenever time permitted I would do all the personal work I could, distributing literature, visiting people in their homes, helping in meetings, etc.

My parents being Danish, they naturally made me think more of the Scandinavian people than I otherwise would have thought, and my heart was often burdened that this glorious truth might be brought to them. These thoughts I kept to myself, speaking only to God about the matter. At last the burden became so heavy that I opened my heart to a minister in whom I had very much confidence, and he told me that a year before that time the Lord had clearly shown that I should go to Denmark with the gospel.

Next I opened my heart to my parents. Naturally they felt sorry that I should leave them, but in another sense they were glad to see me enter the work of the Lord. The Lord had revealed to my mother the evening of my conversion that I should preach the gospel, but she did not think that my field of labor would be in a foreign country.

An older minister, who had for some time been thinking of going to Scandinavia, asked me if it would not be possible for me to accompany him; and when the matter was brought before the church, it was finally decided that I should go. We sailed from New York Dec. 18, 1909, and arrived in Denmark, Jan. 3, 1910. This brother and his wife stayed with relatives, while I made my home with different people, some of them unsaved; and the most disagreeable thing that I met at the beginning was that I was often obliged to stay in homes where I knew I was not welcome. But in all the trials and disappointments there was one thing that especially encouraged and comforted me, and that was that I knew God had sent me to Scandinavia.

I shall never forget the first time God gave me a little favor among the people. An old gentleman expressed his desire to have me give my testimony after the sermon. I was at that time unable to express my thoughts in the Danish language, but in my heart I carried a very heavy burden for the people. With this burden on my soul I arose, and the feelings I could not express in words I expressed in tears. That evening four souls came to the altar and were gloriously saved. From that time on my services were in demand, and it was not long until a goodly number sought the Lord in the meetings.

About a year from this time a Baptist minister asked me to come to his town and hold a four days' meeting. After earnestly praying over the matter I decided to break my engagement at another place (something I do not do unless specially directed of the Lord) and to hold these meetings. Instead of holding four meetings, I held one hundred and thirty meetings, and about one hundred souls were gloriously saved. There were a number of young men in the town who determined that they would break up the meetings, but we asked them to come and take part in the song-service, which generally commenced about a half hour before the preaching-service. Often the stores would be closed early in order that the people might be able to attend the meetings, and it was not long until nearly all the young men of the town were sitting on the front seats listening to the word with tears in their eyes.

An intoxicated man, who was sent out by a saloon-keeper to make disturbance, attacked me in front of the congregation. A young man who also was under the influence of liquor but who was in sympathy with the work I was doing, stepped to my side and offered to defend me with his fist. In anger he said to the other man, "I want to tell you that we are not going to let you disturb =our= meetings." I tried to calm them, but in spite of all I did, the man was unmercifully treated as soon as he got outside by the people whose sympathies had been won by the gospel.

PERSECUTED FOR THE GOSPEL'S SAKE

The saloon-keeper mentioned above, who almost failed in business because of the revival, tried to work out a plot against me. He had a friend who lived in the State of Michigan, to whom he wrote for information concerning my life. This man wrote back: "The minister who is preaching in your town is a professional white-slave trader, and has escaped the authorities here in America and fled to Europe." This letter was taken to the officials in Denmark, and immediately I was arrested. One of the best detectives in the kingdom and several state officials were working on the case. A number of impressions were taken of my fingers and my picture was hung up in police stations among those of professional thieves and criminals.

A very bitter persecution also broke out in the Scandinavian press. Among the people I was generally known as "The Prophet." My aunt and cousin in Copenhagen were nearly dumbfounded one day, when, as they passed one of the large printing-houses in the city, they saw on the news bulletin of a prominent daily in large bold type, which could be read at a long distance, the following:

"The Prophet Morris Johnson--White-Slave Trader--Baptized
Naked Women--Stole Church's Money-Box--Went to America
with Fifty Young Girls and Sold Them to the Houses of
Ill-Fame--Escaped the Hands of the Authorities."

None of these things were true, however; but wherever I went I was carefully watched by the authorities. My name was associated with the most ignoble, immoral, and dishonorable things, and the matter was given such publicity that I could not board a train or a steamer without its being made known to those around me.

Finally the people of God to whom I had been preaching considered it their duty to encourage me to appeal to the law for protection, one brother offering to spend five thousand crowns on the case. This I could not do, for it would have conflicted with my Christian principles; but at last I saw that the only way I could satisfy them was to do something to prove that I was not guilty of the accusations.

Accordingly I went to Copenhagen, spoke to the United States Minister and to a prominent lawyer about the matter. They encouraged me to take up a law suit against the parties who had so inhumanly treated me, but feeling that I should grieve God by doing so, I decided to patiently suffer, knowing that God would stand by me and that in the end his name would be glorified. I must admit that had it not been for the fact that the people of God were praying for me and that God in a special way comforted and strengthened me, I should not have been able to stand through this trial.

About three months after the time I had been in Copenhagen, a state official published in the paper an article in which he made known to the public that after a thorough examination of my case they were satisfied that I was innocent and was worthy of the moral support of the people.

REVIVALS

I am glad to say that this persecution resulted in a wonderful outbreak of spiritual life in Scandinavia. Hundreds of people came out to the meetings and a large number of souls were saved. The State Bishop, a very influential man, was called upon to oppose the meetings. In a public discourse he mentioned my name twenty times, but this only aroused a greater curiosity in the hearts of the people to hear the word, and in this way people were brought under the influence of the gospel who would never have been reached any other way.

I shall never forget an experience I had in a revival in Hjorring, Denmark. We had rented a large hall, and the first evening there were about five hundred people present. I had been passing through some very hard trials just before this meeting, but the trial reached its climax as I stood before that audience. I did not feel the help of the Holy Spirit at all as I was preaching. I went to my room that evening with a heavy heart and spent some time on my knees in earnest prayer.

Later it was made clear to me why God permitted me to pass through this trial. The following Sunday evening the power of the Holy Spirit was poured out upon that audience in such a measure that it was almost impossible for the people to resist it. There were about 750 people present, and most of them stayed for the altar-service. There was not room at the altar for those who wanted to seek God, so the people fell on their knees and began to pray, and all over the hall one could hear sinners crying to God for mercy. Many of them were saved. The meeting did not close until after midnight. I then saw that the reason why God had permitted me to pass through that test was that he might prepare me for the great blessing presently to be poured out upon the meeting.

ALL-NIGHT MEETING

In Lokken, Denmark, the people of God gathered one evening for a special meeting. The word of God became so precious to us that we could not leave the place. A large number testified and after midnight we had an ordinance-meeting, which was followed by a sermon, and that by an altar-call. Several came forward and sought the Lord for sanctification, and a few who were so much interested that they could not leave, came and were saved. The altar-service was broken up when a brother came in and exclaimed, "Hurry up, or you'll miss the train." This was the morning train, which left at five o'clock. The good work continued at this place, and there were open doors for me to preach the gospel in all parts of the kingdom where before warnings had been published against me.

MEETING A PHILOSOPHER

During my stay in Copenhagen it was my privilege to become acquainted with an educated young man, a doctor of philosophy, who had been influenced by higher critics, such as have doubted the miraculous accounts given in the Holy Scriptures. When I was introduced to him, I noticed that he thought it would not be very difficult for him to weaken my faith and confidence in regard to religious matters. He immediately expressed his desire to have some private talks on religious questions, to which I gladly consented, but greatly feeling my need of special wisdom and grace from God. We would often sit up until after midnight, but I enjoyed these conversations and discussions, for they gave me an understanding of the position that such persons generally take in regard to religion.

One evening he accompanied me to the country, where I held a meeting in a private home. About fifteen minutes after I had entered the pulpit, I noticed that a deep conviction settled down upon him. Tears filled his eyes, and he was unable to hide his emotions. One night at one-thirty in the morning he said to me: "I have a question I want to ask you. I have had your life under my microscope for a while and have come to the conclusion that you are one of the happiest and most contented young men I have ever met. Still I have noticed that you have no interest whatever in the enjoyments and pleasures that other young men of your age seem to be so taken up with. Tell me, what is the source of your happiness?" My reply was, "The source of my joy and happiness is the Christ that you are trying to deny." Tears filled his eyes, and he said to me, "In my public lectures and discourses and with my pen I have tried to influence people against Christianity, but now I have found that Christianity can satisfy and make happy; so I will never use my influence in that way any more." I did not have the privilege of seeing this young man converted, but I am sure that some day I shall meet him in heaven.

TRUSTING THE LORD

When I entered the gospel field, I decided that I should trust God to supply all my needs. My father upon bidding me good-by said, "Now, my son, if you ever need help financially, you must let me know, and I shall be glad to help you." I thanked my father, but told him that he should not feel under obligations to me more than to any other missionary and that it was my intention to trust God.

I paid my own fare to Europe with the exception of one dollar, which was given me by a kind brother. For a while I got along well, for I had a little personal money; but the time came when I needed help. I especially remember one occasion when I needed some means. I prayed and wept before the Lord as a child before its father, asking the Lord what he was going to do with me now. After I had prayed a while, the Lord assured me that my prayer was heard. Two days later I received a money-order from a brother in South Dakota and was able to meet all my obligations and even had some to spare. Praise the Lord!

Another time during my stay in Norway I needed a certain amount of money and began to pray to God concerning the matter. The amount needed was about twenty dollars. A few days from that time I received a money-order for eleven dollars from some one in Copenhagen from whom it would have been altogether unreasonable for me to expect financial help. But this person wrote that God had made it clear that this money should be sent to me. I also received a letter from a man in America with a money-order for ten dollars. He wrote: "I am sending you ten dollars, and feel that I must send it off immediately. Hope you will receive it in time." My needs were supplied, and you can be sure I was a happy man. I have learned by experience that there is no life happier or nobler than the life that is fully surrendered and consecrated to God.

The Secret of a Perfect Life

EXPERIENCE NUMBER 6

A little more than half a century ago I drew my first breath of life. It was a day in early May, so I have been told: the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the early flowers were in bloom. It is not to be supposed that my environment in life's early hour had any influence upon the passions of my soul; nevertheless, from my earliest recollection I have been an ardent lover of the esthetical in nature. Many of the days of my childhood were spent wandering through the fields in the bright sunshine, admiring and culling the flowers; rambling through the leafy wood, listening with glad heart to the songs of birds; or sitting on the mossy bank of the rippling brooklet delighted by the music made by its crystal waters as they played among the rocks.

But the happy, innocent days of childhood do not last always: the sun does not always shine, nor the birds sing; neither do the flowers always bloom along our way. Oh, if we could only have been overlooked--many of us have thought in the dreary days of after-life--by Father Time and been left behind to be always in the green, sun-lit fields of childhood, how happy we should have been! But it was not so; and now, since I have found the riches of grace, I am glad it was not so. No one can escape the onward-leading hand of Time. He will lead us, despite our protests, into days where the sun has ceased shining, where the birds have flown to a more genial clime, and where the flowers have faded. As our much-loved poet has said,

"Into each life some rain must fall--
Some days must be dark and dreary."

My life has been a confirmation of these words.

MY FIRST SIN

Among the recollections of my early childhood, one is more deeply impressed on my mind than any other, so deeply and firmly stamped that the many and varied experiences of fifty years have failed to make it less clear and distinct to the vision of memory than it was the day it occurred. It was the committing of a sin. It may have been my first wilful transgression, but, however that may be, it was one that caused an awful sense of guilt to come into my heart, and I trembled, as it were, in an unseen presence. No one had ever spoken to me of God, of shunning the wrong, or of doing the right, except my mother (sweet today is my memory of her); so I carried my trouble to her, and in her presence the tempter led me into falsehood, so that I was made more wretched than before.

GETTING DEEPER INTO SIN

The days sped on; and after a few years, I had won the title of "Bad Boy." Though the sins of those youthful days (over which I prefer to throw the relieving mantle of forgetfulness) were dark and deep, I did not altogether lose my love for the beautiful and the good. In those shadowy days, a ray of sunlight would now and then break through, a bird-note would be heard, and a fragrant flower would raise its drooping head. In such hours, I would get a glimpse of a better life. An unseen hand would set before me a picture of a pure life, and in my fancy I would see myself a good man. Oh, that the dreams of those youthful days were more perfectly fulfilled! but I must give praise to God for what he has wrought in me.

Many a time at the midnight hour in those youthful days, after I had left some den of vice, there would be whisperings in my soul of a higher, nobler life. As I, in my fancy, gazed down through the years, the angel of goodness would shift before me bright pictures of the different characteristics of a holy life. At this distant day, on looking back, I am surprized to note in what trueness the Holy Spirit set before me the ideal godly life.

But I must be brief, as only a few pages of this work are allotted to me in which to tell you how I found--or, rather, what I found to be--the secret of a perfect life.

MY CONVERSION

I was converted at the age of twenty-eight. A few months later, realizing the need of a deeper spiritual life, I yielded myself a living sacrifice to God, and he gave me the desire of my heart. Bless his name! To tell you the joy of my soul in these experiences, is immeasurably beyond the power of my pen. The happiness of a pure life fancied in the day-dreams of my youth were more than realized. Although I was of a highly imaginative mind, the joy my heart found in the riches of redeeming grace was numberless times greater than the fancied joys pictured to my mind in my boyhood hours.

My heart now flowed out in a gushing stream of love to God, and my mind glowed with thoughts of him. It was the poet Milton who said: "As to other points, what God may have determined for me, I know now; but this I know--that if he ever instilled an intense love of moral beauty into the breast of any man, he has instilled it into mine. Ceres, in the fable, pursued not her daughter with a greater keenness of inquiry than I, day and night, the idea of perfection." And I think the same was true of me.

Early in my religious life I became conscious that the law of development is written in the Christian heart, and that this law, if given full scope, will raise us year after year into higher degrees of perfection. The Holy Spirit revealed to me also at this time the secret of attaining to this perfect life by a natural growth in grace day after day. In love and humility lies the secret of a perfect and successful Christian life. The earnestness with which we seek God is in proportion to our love for him. Just as truly as the seven colors are woven together in one white ray of sunlight, so truly are the laws of a perfect life gathered up and fulfilled in the life of those who love God. "Love is the fulfilling of the law." No man can escape the effect of breaking a law of love. What fragrance is to the flower, obedience is to love. Any act of unfaithfulness to God or man sounds a false note on the golden harp of love. He who loves truth intensely will dwell with truth; he who loves purity of thought will think only on things that are pure. Vain thoughts will he hate. He who loves learning will seek after learning and just to that intensity of his love for it. He who loves home will dwell at home as much as possible, and home will become sweeter home. He who loves God will dwell with God, will seek after God, thereby strengthening his affection for God and daily growing into his perfection.

HUMILITY NEEDED

But love alone will not suffice; humility is needed that love may be rightly directed. If humility be lacking, love unconsciously begins to center in self. With a feeling of shame I confess that twice in my life since becoming a Christian, I have lost the ballast of humility so that love went astray. I thought to love God and be faithful; I thought that I was attaining to greater love; but to my surprize, when the Holy Spirit set my heart before me in the clear light of pure love, I found within that awful, ghastly, defiling principle of self-love.

If your soul loves the perfect life, "humble yourself under the hand of God" and "keep yourself in his love." After years of experiences and some sad failures, I have found, with a greater certainty than ever, that love ballasted by humility is the secret of a happy, holy life. I trust that during the remaining days of my life my soul shall flourish like the palm-tree, and grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon, and that I shall develop into that greater fulness of God--into a more perfect image of him.

Today I know that "God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him." As my inner man is renewed day by day, to my spiritual eyes the ideal perfect life grows in loveliness. As I journey on toward the setting of life's sun, I can see farther into the beyond, catch clearer glimpses of unseen things, hear more distinctly the songs of angels, scent in greater sweetness the fragrance from the flowers that grow in that celestial land, and feel the beauty of the Lord growing upon me. I have passed through the furnace flames; but God has brought me through, and he will bring you through.

A PERFECT IDEAL

Have there been times in your life when a glowing feeling crept into your heart and you beheld a vision of ideal perfection? Oh, be "obedient to the heavenly vision," remembering this, that the secret of approach to your ideal is love and humility. Humility will keep you in the right path as love hurries you on after your ideal. Neither the rocks, the thorns, the waves, nor the furnace flames, retard the lover in his race for a perfect life when the vision is kept clear before his soul. Have you made failures? So have I--greater failures, perhaps, than any you have made or ever will make; but the God who transforms the caterpillar into the butterfly will transform you into his perfect image if you only love him intently and be submissive to all his will.

Conversion of a Young Jewish Rabbi

EXPERIENCE NUMBER 7

I was born in an orthodox Jewish family. When I was but four years of age, my parents took me to England and put me in charge of the late Rabbi Horowitz of London to fully teach me the basis of rabbinical life. At the age of seventeen years I completed my course of instruction as a fully legalized rabbi, but was too young to take the responsibilities of a district or synagog. At that time I returned to the United States and soon drifted into socialism and became a socialist orator, traveling from city to city and State to State, until I left the first principles of my rabbinical teaching.

While traveling through Canada I became acquainted with an anarchist and partly accepted his belief. I strayed so far away from my early teaching that from time to time while speaking, I would hold up my Hebrew Bible and tear it to pieces, cursing God and denying that there was a God. I really became so hardened that I almost believed in my heart that there was no God.

On the twenty-sixth day of October, 1907, I came to Chicago, and while I was speaking that night on the platform, holding the Hebrew Bible, tearing it, and ready to curse God, there came a sudden strong voice, as it were, and, to my surprize, repeated to me the following words: "They shall look upon me whom they have pierced, and they shall mourn after him as one mourneth for its only begotten, and they shall be in bitterness after him as one is in bitterness after his first-born."

While I listened to this, I thought that some one was behind the platform speaking these words. I looked behind the platform, but could find no one. When I resumed my speech, the voice came again speaking the same verse, and I became almost paralyzed for a while. After the meeting was over, as I walked toward my apartments, I heard the voice for the third time, speaking to me in stronger terms than ever. The miserable feelings came stronger and stronger. In fact, I began to look for peace to my conscience, but did not know how to find it. In this trouble of soul, no one among all the orators, Jewish rabbis, or religious people of different denominations came up to tell me how to do better nor to give me advice.

I left Chicago for New York, but could not find rest. The words of that voice never left me day or night. One night, while walking the streets of New York looking for something to comfort me, I saw a sign reading, "Men Wanted for the United States Army." At nine o'clock the next morning I went to the recruiting-station and asked for an application-blank. The man at the station thought it strange that a Jew would come to enlist, but he gave me an application-blank. I filled it out and was examined and sent to Ft. Slocum, New York, where I was sworn in for three years' faithful service for the United States Army. After I enlisted I began to look for peace; but the more I looked, the worse and more trouble came to me. In fact, persecutions from different soldiers were very bitter because I was a Jew and did not do what they were doing.

While in Ft. Slocum I contracted fever and was taken to a hospital. From Ft. Slocum I was sent to Ft. Sill, Oklahoma, where I was assigned to Battery B, First Field Artillery. There was only one Jewish man besides me amongst over three hundred Roman Catholics, and they believed in making things hot for us, so the more I looked for peace the worse misery and persecutions I found.

On Decoration Day, 1908, they were playing football, and after the game they went into the kitchen, procured large butcher knives, and came out to cut the "sheenies" up. When we saw them coming with the knives, we ran into the tailor-shop and locked ourselves in, hiding underneath mattresses between the covers. They broke the door, but through Providence they could not find us. Then for the first time since I had embraced socialism I began to think there was a God, since our lives were so spared.

On the sixth of June we went bathing in the Red River on the reservation, and the boys came and turned us head down and feet up in the water and wanted to drown us, but it seemed that through Providence I was once more saved from being destroyed by these blood-thirsty men. Upon our return, we found the tailor-shop flooded. This was reported to the commander, but no action was taken in regard to this or any other case of persecution.

We decided to desert the army after pay-day. When pay-day came, I had coming to me about $200 from the tailor-shop and $13 as pay for the month from the army, but out of the $200 I collected only about $70. That afternoon we walked to Lawton, Oklahoma, to get the train from there to St. Louis. Upon our arrival at St. Louis, the other man got a job, and I wrote to my uncle in Chicago, who sent me a ticket to come to Chicago. When I arrived there, he advised me to go to Canada and said that he would support me all the time that I was there, as they would apprehend me in the United States for a deserter.

I went to Canada, but was still in much distress. Some time later I had a desire to leave Vancouver, British Columbia, and go over the border into the State of Washington, but went under the assumed name of Friedman. While under that name I looked for a position, but could not find one; so I cabled to my parents for money and two weeks afterward I received enough money to open up a little store. I took for my next name Feldman. I opened a book-store, but within three months I lost almost $3,000. Then I left Seattle, Washington, for Tacoma under the name Gray.

Three weeks later I left Tacoma for Portland, Oregon, under the name of Grayson, where I looked up a friend of mine. He was at that time manager of the Oregon Hotel. The next morning I was more miserable than ever before and thought that I was sick. The night preceding I related to my friend all my troubles, with the exception of my being a deserter from the army.

While I was looking for a charity physician who could give me something to relieve my distress and trouble, I found a Salvation Army man and asked him if he knew of any physician who worked for charity and would give me treatment. He told me that he had a friend who was a physician and who was a lover of Jewish people. This was the first time that I ever heard that a Christian loved a Jew.

I went to the office of the doctor, whose name was Estock, and he gave me a cordial welcome. Putting his right hand on my right wrist and his left hand around my neck, he said that he loved the Jews because his Savior was a Jew and that he was glad God had sent me to his office in answer to his prayers. I was dumbfounded and unable to answer. The doctor said, "You do not need a physician for your body, but you need the Lord Jesus to heal your soul, for your trouble is with your soul, and the Lord Jesus is able to save you from your distress and troubles." He gave me a little bottle and said: "Here is a little medicine, but you do not need it. The only thing that will help you is prayer, and I will 'phone to my wife and ask her to pray for you, and I will also pray for you. This will be the only way you will get peace."

The next morning as I was offering my thanks to him he said, "Do not thank me, but thank God that he sent his only begotten Son, that through him such poor unworthy people as we should be saved through his love."

"What can this mean?" I answered. "Is there a God that will love such a man as I am?--a man who curses him? a man that stamped his Bible under his feet and fought against him? Is it true that he will love me so?"

The doctor answered, "He died for such men as you, that he might save you." He further said: "My house belongs to the Lord, and I owe everything to him. The God of Abraham and Isaac is my God, and the God of David and also the Prophets. He is my God, and he is your God, whether you want him or not; and I beg you to come with me to my house."

"It is impossible for me to go into your house," I answered, "because I do not believe that there is a God, and if there is one, I am unworthy to go into such a house."

He pleaded with me further to go, and I went with him. I lived at the doctor's house for thirty days. We had the strongest arguments on Scriptures, he trying to prove to me that Jesus is the Messiah that came to save his people from sin. I contradicted every word of his with the Old Testament Scriptures.

On the thirtieth day in the doctor's house I was more vile than ever before. I got up in the morning looking for the first chance to get even with the doctor because of his persistence in mentioning the Lord Jesus on every occasion. When I came down-stairs, they were ready for breakfast. I sat at the table brewing within myself, full of hatred, malice, and bitterness against them because of their holding up to me the Lord Jesus as my only Savior. While at the table I could not withhold my bitterness, and when they read the Scriptures after the meal, I began to laugh, mock, and curse, calling them all kinds of vile names.

While I was doing this they went down on their knees to pray as they did every morning. Looking up to me, the doctor said, "My friend, if you will not respect God nor respect me as your only and personal friend in the city, for the Lord's sake respect this house, for this house is consecrated unto God."

These words sank deep into my heart, and I kneeled down still with bitterness in my heart against Jesus and the doctor. While I was down on my knees, I was cursing, mocking at them and their Lord. The doctor prayed first, then his wife, and then his little boy, who said, "Lord Jesus, you have promised to save him; won't you save him?"

These words broke my heart, and I began crying, "If there is a God, come and prove yourself." The carpet around me was wet with the tears which I had shed in crying for God to come and prove himself. I felt within myself a love for the Lord Jesus and soon had a living faith that the Lord Jesus died for me and that through his death I was saved. After I rose from my knees, the doctor, his wife, and the little boy stood with eyes full of tears, rejoicing with me that there was power in the blood of Jesus Christ to save such a vile sinner as I was.

One hour later I left the house of the doctor to tell my friend, the manager of the hotel, that the Lord Jesus was now my Savior and that he had saved me from my sins. He took a heavy chunk of wood and hit me on my right side, nearly breaking my ribs.

I said, "May God forgive you for this and not hold it against you," while the tears were streaming down my face. This is the first time in my life that I ever said to any one, "May God bless you!" Then I said to him, "If it were only yesterday that you had done this to me, I would have killed you; but now the Lord Jesus has taken anger out of my heart, and I will endeavor to pray for you that God may have mercy upon you." Walking out of his hotel crippled as I was and holding my side with my hand, I said again, "God bless you!"

While walking down the street, I saw a company of mission workers on the corner of Jefferson and Washington Avenues. I pushed myself through the crowd, seeing that there were some Jews there, and I began to preach to my own people for the first time that the only way of salvation is through the Lord Jesus Christ. In answer, there came rotten eggs and rotten tomatoes at my head and body until I was covered from head to foot.

After the meeting I walked on singing a song and rejoicing that the Lord Jesus had seen fit to save such a poor sinner as I was. Thus ended my first day as a convert. I thank God for the first pay I ever received in the gospel--a crippled side and rotten eggs. I continued to preach the gospel to my people in Portland for several days.

Three days after my conversion, while I was on my knees praying, it occurred to me that I had better write to my relatives and tell them what love the Lord Jesus had for me, and that he had died to save them as well as me, and that he was the only true Messiah. I reasoned for several days against this; but at last I had to write, because I saw that the Lord was on one side and my relatives on the other side, and that I had to choose between them. So I wrote to them, sending to each a separate letter telling them that Jesus was my Savior and that he is the only and true Messiah.

Sometime after this, answer came from my relatives that they could not believe that there was any power to save me, because, if I could leave my first principles and leave my own people, the teaching which I was brought up under and drift so far away as to curse God, they did not believe there was any power to save me. I kept sending them Testaments and Gospels, but still they could not believe.