Chapter II: Part 2

+R. Royster.+ Go to it sirs lustily.

+M. Mumbl.+ Pipe vp a mery note, Let me heare it playde, I will foote it for a grote.

_Cantent._

+R. Royster.+ Now nurse take thys same letter here to thy mistresse. And as my trust is in thee plie my businesse.

+M. Mumbl.+ It shalbe done?

+M. Mery.+ Who made it?

+R. Royster.+ I wrote it ech whit.

+M. Mery.+ Then nedes it no mending.

+R. Royster.+ No, no.

+M. Mery.+ No I know your wit. I warrant it wel.

+M. Mumbl.+ It shal be deliuered. But if ye speede, shall I be considered?

+M. Mery.+ Whough, dost thou doubt of that?

+Madge.+ What shal I haue?

+M. Mery.+ An hundred times more than thou canst deuise to craue.

+M. Mumbl.+ Shall I haue some newe geare? for my olde is all spent.

+M. Mery.+ The worst kitchen wench shall goe in ladies rayment.

+M. Mumbl.+ Yea?

+M. Mery.+ And the worst drudge in the house shal go better Than your mistresse doth now.

+Mar.+ Then I trudge with your letter.

+R. Royster.+ Now may I repose me: Custance is mine owne. Let vs sing and play homeward that it may be knowne.

+M. Mery.+ But are you sure, that your letter is well enough?

+R. Royster.+ I wrote it my selfe.

+M. Mery.+ Then sing we to dinner.

_Here they sing, and go out singing._

Actus. j. Scæna. v.

+Christian Custance. Margerie Mumblecrust.+

+C. Custance.+ Who tooke thee thys letter Margerie Mumblecrust?

+M. Mumbl.+ A lustie gay bacheler tooke it me of trust, And if ye seeke to him he will lowe your doing.

+C. Custance.+ Yea, but where learned he that manner of wowing?

+M. Mumbl.+ If to sue to hym, you will any paines take, He will haue you to his wife (he sayth) for my sake.

+C. Custance.+ Some wise gentleman belike. I am bespoken: And I thought verily thys had bene some token From my dere spouse Gawin Goodluck, whom when him please God luckily sende home to both our heartes ease.

+M. Mumbl.+ A ioyly man it is I wote well by report, And would haue you to him for marriage resort: Best open the writing, and see what it doth speake.

+C. Custance.+ At thys time nourse I will neither reade ne breake.

+M. Mumbl.+ He promised to giue you a whole pecke of golde.

+C. Custance.+ Perchaunce lacke of a pynte when it shall be all tolde.

+M. Mumbl.+ I would take a gay riche husbande, and I were you.

+C. Custance.+ In good sooth Madge, een so would I, if I were thou. But no more of this fond talke now, let vs go in, And see thou no more moue me folly to begin. Nor bring mee no mo letters for no mans pleasure, But thou know from whom.

+M. Mumbl.+ I warrant ye shall be sure.

Actus. ij. Scæna. j.

+Dobinet Doughtie.+

+D. Dough.+ Where is the house I goe to, before or behinde? I know not where nor when nor how I shal it finde. If I had ten mens bodies and legs and strength, This trotting that I haue must needes lame me at length. And nowe that my maister is new set on wowyng, I trust there shall none of vs finde lacke of doyng: Two paire of shoes a day will nowe be too litle To serue me, I must trotte to and fro so mickle. Go beare me thys token, carrie me this letter, Nowe this is the best way, nowe that way is better. Vp before day sirs, I charge you, an houre or twaine, Trudge, do me thys message, and bring worde quicke againe, If one misse but a minute, then his armes and woundes, I woulde not haue slacked for ten thousand poundes. Nay see I befeeche you, if my most trustie page, Goe not nowe aboute to hinder my mariage, So feruent hotte wowyng, and so farre from wiuing, I trowe neuer was any creature liuyng, With euery woman is he in some loues pang, Then vp to our lute at midnight, twangledome twang, Then twang with our sonets, and twang with our dumps, And heyhough from our heart, as heauie as lead lumpess: Then to our recorder with toodleloodle poope As the howlet out of an yuie bushe should hoope. Anon to our gitterne, thrumpledum, thrumpledum thrum, Thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrumpledum thrum. Of Songs and Balades also he is a maker, And that can he as finely doe as Iacke Raker, Yea and _extempore_ will he dities compose, Foolishe _Marsias_ nere made the like I suppose, Yet must we sing them, as good stuffe I vndertake, As for such a pen man is well fittyng to make. Ah for these long nights, heyhow, when will it be day? I feare ere I come she will be wowed away. Then when aunswere is made that it may not bee, O death why commest thou not? by and by (sayth he) But then, from his heart to put away sorowe, He is as farre in with some newe loue next morowe. But in the meane season we trudge and we trot, From dayspring to midnyght, I sit not, nor rest not. And now am I sent to dame Christian Custance: But I feare it will ende with a mocke for pastance. I bring hir a ring, with a token in a cloute, And by all gesse, this same is hir house out of doute. I knowe it nowe perfect, I am in my right way. And loe yond the olde nourse that was wyth vs last day.

Actus. ij. Scæna. ij.

+Mage Mumblecrust. Dobinet Doughtie.+

+M. Mumbl.+ I was nere so shoke vp afore since I was borne, That our mistresse coulde not haue chid I wold haue sworne: And I pray God I die if I ment any harme, But for my life time this shall be to me a charme.

+D. Dough.+ God you saue and see nurse, and howe is it with you?

+M. Mumbl.+ Mary a great deale the worse it is for suche as thou.

+D. Dough.+ For me? Why so?

+M. Mumb.+ Why wer not thou one of them, say, That song and playde here with the gentleman last day?

+D. Dough.+ Yes, and he would know if you haue for him spoken. And prayes you to deliuer this ring and token.

+M. Mumbl.+ Nowe by the token that God tokened brother, I will deliuer no token one nor other. I haue once ben so shent for your maisters pleasure, As I will not be agayne for all hys treasure.

+D. Dough.+ He will thank you woman.

+M. Mumbl.+ I will none of his thanke. _Ex._

+D. Dough.+ I weene I am a prophete, this geare will proue blanke: But what should I home againe without answere go? It were better go to _Rome_ on my head than so. I will tary here this moneth, but some of the house Shall take it of me, and then I care not a louse. But yonder commeth forth a wenche or a ladde, If he haue not one Lumbardes touche, my lucke is bad.

Actus. ij. Scæna. iij.

+Truepenie. D. Dough. Tibet T. Anot Al.+

+Trupeny.+ I am cleane lost for lacke of mery companie, We gree not halfe well within, our wenches and I, They will commaunde like mistresses, they will forbyd, If they be not serued, Trupeny must be chyd. Let them be as mery nowe as ye can desire, With turnyng of a hande, our mirth lieth in the mire, I can not skill of such chaungeable mettle, There is nothing with them but in docke out nettle.

+D. Dough.+ Whether is it better that speake to him furst, Or he first to me, it is good to cast the wurst. If I beginne first, he will smell all my purpose, Otherwise I shall not neede any thing to disclose.

+Trupeny.+ What boy haue we yonder? I will see what he is.

+D. Dough.+ He commeth to me. It is hereabout ywis.

+Trupeny.+ Wouldest thou ought friende, that thou lookest so about?

+D. Dough.+ Yea, but whether ye can helpe me or no, I dout. I seeke to one mistresse Custance house here dwellyng.

+Trupenie.+ It is my mistresse ye seeke too by your telling.

+D. Dough.+ Is there any of that name heere but shee?

+Trupenie.+ Not one in all the whole towne that I knowe pardee.

+D. Dough.+ A Widowe she is I trow.

+Trupenie.+ And what and she be?

+D. Dough.+ But ensured to an husbande.

+Trupenie.+ Yea, so thinke we.

+D. Dough.+ And I dwell with hir husbande that trusteth to be.

+Trupenie.+ In faith then, must thou needes be welcome to me, Let vs for acquaintance shake handes togither, And what ere thou be, heartily welcome hither.

+Tib. Talk.+ Well Trupenie neuer but flinging.

+An. Alyface.+ And frisking?

+Trupenie.+ Well Tibet and Annot, still swingyng and whiskyng?

+Tib. Talk.+ But ye roile abroade.

+An. Alyface.+ In the streete euere where.

+Trupenie.+ Where are ye twaine, in chambers when ye mete me there? But come hither fooles, I haue one nowe by the hande, Seruant to hym that must be our mistresse husbande, Byd him welcome.

+An. Alyface.+ To me truly is he welcome.

+Tib. Talk.+ Forsooth and as I may say, heartily welcome.

+D. Dough.+ I thank you mistresse maides

+An. Alyface.+ I hope we shal better know

+Tib. Talk.+ And when wil our new master come.

+D. Dough.+ Shortly I trow.

+Tib. Talk.+ I would it were to morow: for till he resorte Our mistresse being a Widow hath small comforte, And I hearde our nourse speake of an husbande to day Ready for our mistresse, a riche man and a gay, And we shall go in our frenche hoodes euery day, In our silke cassocks (I warrant you) freshe and gay, In our tricke serdegews and billiments of golde, Braue in our sutes of chaunge seuen double folde, Then shall ye see Tibet sirs, treade the mosse so trimme, Nay, why sayd I treade? ye shall see hir glide and swimme, Not lumperdee clumperdee like our spaniell Rig.

+Trupeny.+ Mary then prickmedaintie come toste me a fig, Who shall then know our Tib Talke apace trow ye?

+An. Alyface.+ And why not Annot Alyface as fyne as she?

+Trupeny.+ And what had Tom Trupeny, a father or none?

+An. Alyface.+ Then our prety newe come man will looke to be one.

+Trupeny.+ We foure I trust shall be a ioily mery knot. Shall we sing a fitte to welcome our friende, Annot?

+An. Alyface.+ Perchaunce he can not sing.

+D. Dough.+ I am at all assayes.

+Tib. Talk.+ By cocke and the better welcome to vs alwayes.

_Here they sing._

A thing very fitte For them that haue witte, And are felowes knitte Seruants in one house to bee, Is fast fast for to sitte, And not oft to flitte, Nor varie a whitte, But louingly to agree.

No man complainyng, Nor other disdayning, For losse or for gainyng, But felowes or friends to bee. No grudge remainyng, No worke refrainyng, Nor helpe restrainyng, But louingly to agree.

No man for despite, By worde or by write His felowe to twite, But further in honestie, No good turnes entwite, Nor olde sores recite, But let all goe quite, And louingly to agree.

After drudgerie, When they be werie, Then to be merie, To laugh and sing they be free With chip and cherie Heigh derie derie, Trill on the berie, And louingly to agree.

_Finis._

+Tib. Talk.+ Wyll you now in with vs vnto our mistresse go?

+D. Dough.+ I haue first for my maister an errand or two. But I haue here from him a token and a ring, They shall haue moste thanke of hir that first doth it bring.

+Tib. Talk.+ Mary that will I.

+Trupeny.+ See and Tibet snatch not now.

+Tib. Talk.+ And why may not I sir, get thanks as well as you? _Exeat._

+An. Alyface.+ Yet get ye not all, we will go with you both. And haue part of your thanks be ye neuer so loth. [_Exeant omnes._

+D. Dough.+ So my handes are ridde of it: I care for no more. I may now return home: so durst I not afore. _Exeat._

Actus. ij. Scæna. iiij.

+C. Custance. Tibet. Annot Alyface. Trupeny.+

+C. Custance.+ Nay come forth all three: and come hither pretie mayde: Will not so many forewarnings make you afrayde?

+Tib. Talk.+ Yes forsoth.

+C. Custance.+ But stil be a runner vp and downe Still be a bringer of tidings and tokens to towne.

+Tib. Talk.+ No forsoth mistresse.

+C. Custance.+ Is all your delite and ioy In whiskyng and ramping abroade like a Tom boy.

+Tib. Talk.+ Forsoth these were there too, Annot and Trupenie.

+Trupenie.+ Yea but ye alone tooke it, ye can not denie.

+Annot Aly.+ Yea that ye did.

+Tibet.+ But if I had not, ye twaine would.

+C. Custance.+ You great calfe ye should haue more witte, so ye should: But why shoulde any of you take such things in hande?

+Tibet.+ Because it came from him that must be your husbande.

+C. Custance.+ How do ye know that?

+Tibet.+ Forsoth the boy did say so.

+C. Custance.+ What was his name?

+An. Alyface.+ We asked not.

+C. Custance.+ No did?

+An. Aliface.+ He is not farre gone of likelyhod.

+Trupeny.+ I will see.

+C. Custance.+ If thou canst finde him in the streete bring him to me.

+Trupenie.+ Yes.

_Exeat._

+C. Custance.+ Well ye naughty girles, if euer I perceiue That henceforth you do letters or tokens receiue, To bring vnto me from any person or place, Except ye first shewe me the partie face to face, Eyther thou or thou, full truly abye thou shalt.

+Tibet.+ Pardon this, and the next tyme pouder me in falt.

+C. Custance.+ I shall make all girles by you twaine to beware.

+Tibet.+ If euer I offende againe do not me spare. But if euer I see that false boy any more By your mistreshyps licence I tell you afore I will rather haue my cote twentie times swinged, Than on the naughtie wag not to be auenged.

+C. Custance.+ Good wenches would not so rampe abrode ydelly, But keepe within doores, and plie their work earnestly, If one would speake with me that is a man likely, Ye shall haue right good thanke to bring me worde quickly. But otherwyse with messages to come in post From henceforth I promise you, shall be to your cost. Get you in to your work.

+Tib.+ An. Yes forsoth.

+C. Custance.+ Hence both twaine. And let me see you play me such a part againe.

+Trupeny.+ Maistresse, I haue runne past the farre ende of the streete, Yet can I not yonder craftie boy see nor meete.

+C. Custance.+ No?

+Trupeny.+ Yet I looked as farre beyonde the people. As one may see out of the toppe of Paules steeple.

+C. Custance.+ Hence in at doores, and let me no more be vext.

+Trupeny.+ Forgeue me this one fault, and lay on for the next.

+C. Custance.+ Now will I in too, for I thinke so God me mende, This will proue some foolishe matter in the ende.

_Exeat._

Actus. [i]ij. Scæna. j.

+Mathewe Merygreeke.+

+M. Mery.+ Nowe say thys againe: he hath somewhat to dooing Which followeth the trace of one that is wowing, Specially that hath no more wit in his hedde, Than my cousin Roister Doister withall is ledde. I am sent in all haste to espie and to marke How our letters and tokens are likely to warke. Maister Roister Doister must haue aunswere in haste For he loueth not to spende much labour in waste. Nowe as for Christian Custance by this light, Though she had not hir trouth to Gawin Goodluck plight, Yet rather than with such a loutishe dolte to marie, I dare say woulde lyue a poore lyfe solitarie, But fayne would I speake with Custance if I wist how To laugh at the matter, yond commeth one forth now.

Actus. iij. Scæna. ij.

+Tibet. M. Merygreeke. Christian Custance.+

+Tib. Talk.+ Ah that I might but once in my life haue a sight Of him that made vs all so yll shent by this light, He should neuer escape if I had him by the eare, But euen from his head, I would it bite or teare. Yea and if one of them were not inowe, I would bite them both off, I make God auow.

+M. Mery.+ What is he, whome this little mouse doth so threaten?

+Tib. Talk.+ I woulde teache him I trow, to make girles shent or beaten.

+M. Mery.+ I will call hir: Maide with whome are ye so hastie?

+Tib. Talk.+ Not with you sir, but with a little wag-pastie, A deceiuer of folkes, by subtill craft and guile.

+M. Mery.+ I knowe where she is: Dobinet hath wrought some wile.

+Tib. Talk.+ He brought a ring and token which he sayd was sent From our dames husbande, but I wot well I was shent: For it liked hir as well to tell you no lies, As water in hir shyppe, or salt cast in hir eies: And yet whence it came neyther we nor she can tell.

+M. Mery.+ We shall haue sport anone: I like this very well. And dwell ye here with mistresse Custance faire maide?

+Tib. Talk.+ Yea mary doe I sir: what would ye haue sayd?

+M. Mery.+ A little message vnto hir by worde of mouth.

+Tib. Talk.+ No messages by your leaue, nor tokens forsoth.

+M. Mery.+ Then help me to speke with hir.

+Tibet.+ With a good wil that. Here she commeth forth. Now speake ye know best what.

+C. Custance.+ None other life with you maide, but abrode to skip?

+Tib. Talk.+ Forsoth here is one would speake with your mistresship.

+C. Custance.+ Ah, haue ye ben learning of mo messages now?

+Tib. Talk.+ I would not heare his minde, but bad him shewe it to you.

+C. Custance.+ In at dores.

+Tib. Talk.+ I am gon. _Ex._

+M. Mery.+ Dame Custance god ye saue.

+C. Custance.+ Welcome friend Merygreeke: and what thing wold ye haue?

+M. Mery.+ I am come to you a little matter to breake.

+C. Custance.+ But see it be honest, else better not to speake.

+M. Mery.+ Howe feele ye your selfe affected here of late?

+C. Custance.+ I feele no maner chaunge but after the olde rate. But wherby do ye meane?

+M. Mery.+ Concerning mariage. Doth not loue lade you?

+C. Custance.+ I feele no such cariage.

+M. Mery.+ Doe ye feele no pangues of dotage? aunswere me right.

+C. Custance.+ I dote so, that I make but one sleepe all the night But what neede all these wordes?

+M. Mery.+ Oh Iesus, will ye see What dissemblyng creatures these same women be? The gentleman ye wote of, whome ye doe so loue, That ye woulde fayne marrie him, yf ye durst it moue, Emong other riche widowes, which are of him glad, Lest ye for lesing of him perchaunce might runne mad, Is nowe contented that vpon your sute making, Ye be as one in election of taking.

+C. Custance.+ What a tale is this? that I wote of? whome I loue?

+M. Mery.+ Yea and he is as louing a worme againe as a doue. Een of very pitie he is willyng you to take, Bicause ye shall not destroy your selfe for his sake.

+C. Custance.+ Mary God yelde his mashyp what euer he be, It is gentmanly spoken.

+M. Mery.+ Is it not trowe ye? If ye haue the grace now to offer your self, ye speede.

+C. Custance.+ As muche as though I did, this time it shall not neede, But what gentman is it, I pray you tell me plaine, That woweth so finely?

+M. Mery.+ Lo where ye be againe, As though ye knewe him not.

+C. Custance.+ Tush ye speake in iest.

+M. Mery.+ Nay sure, the partie is in good knacking earnest, And haue you he will (he sayth) and haue you he must.

+C. Custance.+ I am promised duryng my life, that is iust.

+M. Mery.+ Mary so thinketh he, vnto him alone.

+C. Custance.+ No creature hath my faith and trouth but one, That is Gawin Goodlucke: and if it be not hee, He hath no title this way what euer he be, Nor I know none to whome I haue such worde spoken.

+M. Mery.+ Ye knowe him not you by his letter and token.

+C. Custance.+ In dede true it is, that a letter I haue, But I neuer reade it yet as God me saue.

+M. Mery.+ Ye a woman? and your letter so long vnredde.

+C. Custance.+ Ye may therby know what hast I haue to wedde. But now who it is, for my hande I knowe by gesse.

+M. Mery.+ Ah well I say.

+C. Custance.+ It is Roister Doister doubtlesse.

+M. Mery.+ Will ye neuer leaue this dissimulation? Ye know hym not.

+C. Custance.+ But by imagination, For no man there is but a very dolt and loute That to wowe a Widowe woulde so go about. He shall neuer haue me hys wife while he doe liue.

+M. Mery.+ Then will he haue you if he may, so mote I thriue, And he biddeth you sende him worde by me, That ye humbly beseech him, ye may his wife be, And that there shall be no let in you nor mistrust, But to be wedded on sunday next if he lust, And biddeth you to looke for him.

+C. Custance.+ Doth he byd so?

+M. Mery.+ When he commeth, aske hym whether he did or no?

+C. Custance.+ Goe say, that I bid him keepe him warme at home For if he come abroade, he shall cough me a mome. My mynde was vexed, I shrew his head sottish dolt.

+M. Mery.+ He hath in his head.

+C. Custance.+ As much braine as a burbolt.

+M. Mery.+ Well dame Custance, if he heare you thus play choploge.

+C. Custance.+ What will he?

+M. Mery.+ Play the deuill in the horologe.

+C. Custance.+ I defye him loute.

+M. Mery.+ Shall I tell hym what ye say?

+C. Custance.+ Yea and adde what so euer thou canst, I thee pray, And I will auouche it what so euer it bee.

+M. Mery.+ Then let me alone we will laugh well ye shall see, It will not be long ere he will hither resorte.

+C. Custance.+ Let hym come when hym lust, I wishe no better sport. Fare ye well, I will in, and read my great letter. I shall to my wower make answere the better. _Exeat._

Actus. iij. Scæna. iij.

+Mathew Merygreeke. Roister Doister.+

+M. Mery.+ Nowe that the whole answere in my deuise doth rest, I shall paint out our wower in colours of the best. And all that I say shall be on Custances mouth, She is author of all that I shall speake forsoth. But yond commeth Roister Doister nowe in a traunce.

+R. Royster.+ Iuno sende me this day good lucke and good chaunce. I can not but come see how Merygreeke doth speede.

+M. Mery.+ I will not see him, but giue him a iutte in deede. I crie your mastershyp mercie.

+R. Royster.+ And whither now?

+M. Mery.+ As fast as I could runne sir in poste against you. But why speake ye so faintly, or why are ye so sad?

+R. Royster.+ Thou knowest the prouerbe, bycause I can not be had. Hast thou spoken with this woman?

+M. Mery.+ Yea that I haue.

+R. Royster.+ And what will this geare be?

+M. Mery.+ No so God me saue.

+R. Royster.+ Hast thou a flat answer?

+M. Mery.+ Nay a sharp answer.

+R. Royster.+ What

+M. Mery.+ Ye shall not (she sayth) by hir will marry hir cat. Ye are such a calfe, such an asse, such a blocke, Such a lilburne, such a hoball, such a lobcocke, And bicause ye shoulde come to hir at no season, She despised your maship out of all reason. Bawawe what ye say (ko I) of such a ientman, Nay I feare him not (ko she) doe the best he can. He vaunteth him selfe for a man of prowesse greate, Where as a good gander I dare say may him beate. And where he is louted and laughed to skorne, For the veriest dolte that euer was borne, And veriest lubber, slouen and beast, Liuing in this worlde from the west to the east: Yet of himselfe hath he suche opinion, That in all the worlde is not the like minion. He thinketh eche woman to be brought in dotage With the onely sight of his goodly personage: Yet none that will haue hym: we do hym loute and flocke, And make him among vs, our common sporting stocke, And so would I now (ko she) saue onely bicause, Better nay (ko I) I lust not medle with dawes. Ye are happy (ko I) that ye are a woman, This would cost you your life in case ye were a man.

+R. Royster.+ Yea an hundred thousand pound should not saue hir life.

+M. Mery.+ No but that ye wowe hir to haue hir to your wife, But I coulde not stoppe hir mouth.

+R. Royster.+ Heigh how alas,

+M. Mery.+ Be of good cheere man, and let the worlde passe.

+R. Royster.+ What shall I doe or say nowe that it will not bee.

+M. Mery.+ Ye shall haue choise of a thousande as good as shee, And ye must pardon hir, it is for lacke of witte.

+R. Royster.+ Yea, for were not I an husbande for hir fitte? Well what should I now doe?

+M. Mery.+ In faith I can not tell.

+R. Royster.+ I will go home and die.

+M. Mery.+ Then shall I bidde toll the bell?

+R. Royster.+ No.

+M. Mery.+ God haue mercie on your soule, ah good gentleman, That er ye shuld th[u]s dye for an vnkinde woman. Will ye drinke once ere ye goe.

+R. Royster.+ No, no, I will none.

+M. Mery.+ How feele your soule to God.

+R. Royster.+ I am nigh gone.

+M. Mery.+ And shall we hence streight?

+R. Royster.+ Yea.

+M. Mery.+ _Placebo dilexi._ Maister Doister Doister will streight go home and die. _vt infra._*

[Footnote *: _See pp. 87, 88._]

[Transcriber's Note:
"Ut infra" directions refer to "Certaine Songs" printed separately
at the end of the play. The text "Maister Doister Doister" is
unchanged.]

+R. Royster.+ Heigh how, alas, the pangs of death my hearte do breake.

+M. Mery.+ Holde your peace for shame sir, a dead man may not speake. _Nequando_: What mourners and what torches shall we haue?

+R. Royster.+ None.

+M. Mery.+ _Dirige._ He will go darklyng to his graue, _Neque, lux, neque crux, neque_ mourners, _neque_ clinke, He will steale to heauen, vnknowing to God I thinke. _A porta inferi_, who shall your goodes possesse?

+R. Royster.+ Thou shalt be my sectour, and haue all more and lesse.

+M. Mery.+ _Requiem æternam._ Now God reward your mastershyp. And I will crie halfepenie doale for your worshyp. [Sidenote: _Euocat seruos militis._] Come forth sirs, heare the dolefull newes I shall you tell. Our good maister here will no longer with vs dwell, But in spite of Custance, which hath hym weried, Let vs see his mashyp solemnely buried. And while some piece of his soule is yet hym within, Some part of his funeralls let vs here begin. _Audiui vocem_, All men take heede by this one gentleman, Howe you sette your loue vpon an vnkinde woman. For these women be all such madde pieuishe elues, They will not be wonne except it please them selues. But in fayth Custance if euer ye come in hell, Maister Roister Doister shall serue you as well. And will ye needes go from vs thus in very deede?

+R. Royster.+ Yea in good sadnesse?

+M. Mery.+ Now Iesus Christ be your speede. Good night Roger olde knaue, farewell Roger olde knaue, Good night Roger olde knaue, knaue knap. _vt infra.**_ Pray for the late maister Roister Doisters soule, And come forth parish Clarke, let the passing bell toll. [Sidenote: _Ad seruos militis._] Pray for your mayster sirs, and for hym ring a peale. He was your right good maister while he was in heale. _Qui Lazarum._

[Footnote **: See p. 88.]

+R. Royster.+ Heigh how.

+M. Mery.+ Dead men go not so fast In Paradisum.

+R. Royster.+ Heihow.

+M. Mery.+ Soft, heare what I haue cast

+R. Royster.+ I will heare nothing, I am past.

+M. Mery.+ Whough, wellaway. Ye may tarie one houre, and heare what I shall say, Ye were best sir for a while to reuiue againe, And quite them er ye go.

+R. Royster.+ Trowest thou so?

+M. Mery.+ Ye plain.

+R. Royster.+ How may I reuiue being nowe so farre past?

+M. Mery.+ I will rubbe your temples, and fette you againe at last.

+R. Royster.+ It will not be possible.

+M. Mery.+ Yes for twentie pounde.

+R. Royster.+ Armes what dost thou?

+M. Mery.+ Fet you again out of your sound By this crosse ye were nigh gone in deede, I might feele Your soule departing within an inche of your heele. Now folow my counsell.

+R. Royster.+ What is it?

+M. Mery.+ If I wer you, Custance should eft seeke to me, ere I woulde bowe.

+R. Royster.+ Well, as thou wilt haue me, euen so will I doe.

+M. Mery.+ Then shall ye reuiue againe for an houre or two.

+R. Royster.+ As thou wilt I am content for a little space.

+M. Mery.+ Good happe is not hastie: yet in space com[e]th grace, To speake with Custance your selfe shoulde be very well, What good therof may come, nor I, nor you can tell. But now the matter standeth vpon your mariage, Ye must now take vnto you a lustie courage. Ye may not speake with a faint heart to Custance, But with a lusty breast and countenance, That she may knowe she hath to answere to a man.

+R. Royster.+ Yes I can do that as well as any can.

+M. Mery.+ Then bicause ye must Custance face to face wowe, Let vs see how to behaue your selfe ye can doe. Ye must haue a portely bragge after your estate.

+R. Royster.+ Tushe, I can handle that after the best rate.

+M. Mery.+ Well done, so loe, vp man with your head and chin, Vp with that snoute man: so loe, nowe ye begin, So, that is somewhat like, but prankie cote, nay whan, That is a lustie brute, handes vnder your side man: So loe, now is it euen as it should bee, That is somewhat like, for a man of your degree. Then must ye stately goe, ietting vp and downe, Tut, can ye no better shake the taile of your gowne? There loe, suche a lustie bragge it is ye must make.

+R. Royster.+ To come behind, and make curtsie, thou must som pains
take.

+M. Mery.+ Else were I much to blame, I thanke your mastershyp. The lorde one day all to begrime you with worshyp, Backe sir sauce, let gentlefolkes haue elbowe roome, Voyde sirs, see ye not maister Roister Doister come? Make place my maisters.

+R. Royster.+ Thou iustlest nowe to nigh.

+M. Mery.+ Back al rude loutes.

+R. Royster.+ Tush.

+M. Mery.+ I crie your maship mercy Hoighdagh, if faire fine mistresse Custance sawe you now, Ralph Royster Doister were hir owne I warrant you.

+R. Royster.+ Neare an M by your girdle?

+M. Mery.+ Your good mastershyps Maistershyp, were hir owne Mistreshyps mistreshyps, Ye were take vp for haukes, ye were gone, ye were gone, But now one other thing more yet I thinke vpon.

+R. Royster.+ Shewe what it is.

+M. Mery.+ A wower be he neuer so poore Must play and sing before his bestbeloues doore, How much more than you?

+R. Royster.+ Thou speakest wel out of dout.

+M. Mery.+ And perchaunce that woulde make hir the sooner come out.

+R. Royster.+ Goe call my Musitians, bydde them high apace.

+M. Mery.+ I wyll be here with them ere ye can say trey ace.
_Exeat._

+R. Royster.+ This was well sayde of Merygreeke, I lowe hys wit, Before my sweete hearts dore we will haue a fit, That if my loue come forth, that I may with hir talke, I doubt not but this geare shall on my side walke. But lo, how well Merygreeke is returned sence.

+M. Mery.+ There hath grown no grasse on my heele since I went hence, Lo here haue I brought that shall make you pastance.

+R. Royster.+ Come sirs let vs sing to winne my deare loue Custance.

_Cantent._

+M. Mery.+ Lo where she commeth, some countenaunce to hir make And ye shall heare me be plaine with hir for your sake.

Actus. iij. Scæna. iiij.

+Custance. Merygreeke. Roister Doister.+

+C. Custance.+ What gaudyng and foolyng is this afore my doore?

+M. Mery.+ May not folks be honest, pray you, though they be pore?

+C. Custance.+ As that thing may be true, so rich folks may be fooles,

+R. Royster.+ Hir talke is as fine as she had learned in schooles.

+M. Mery.+ Looke partly towarde hir, and drawe a little nere.

+C. Custance.+ Get ye home idle folkes.

+M. Mery.+ Why may not we be here? Nay and ye will haze, haze: otherwise I tell you plaine, And ye will not haze, then giue vs our geare againe.

+C. Custance.+ In deede I haue of yours much gay things God saue all.

+R. Royster.+ Speake gently vnto hir, and let hir take all.

+M. Mery.+ Ye are to tender hearted: shall she make vs dawes? Nay dame, I will be plaine with you in my friends cause.

+R. Royster.+ Let all this passe sweete heart and accept my seruice.

+C. Custance.+ I will not be serued with a foole in no wise, When I choose an husbande I hope to take a man.

+M. Mery.+ And where will ye finde one which can doe that he can? Now thys man towarde you being so kinde, You not to make him an answere somewhat to his minde.

+C. Custance.+ I sent him a full answere by you dyd I not?

+M. Mery.+ And I reported it.

+C. Custance.+ Nay I must speake it againe.

+R. Royster.+ No no, he tolde it all.

+M. Mery.+ Was I not metely plaine?

+R. Royster.+ Yes.

+M. Mery.+ But I would not tell all, for faith if I had With you dame Custance ere this houre it had been bad, And not without cause: for this goodly personage, Ment no lesse than to ioyne with you in mariage.

+C. Custance.+ Let him wast no more labour nor sute about me.

+M. Mery.+ Ye know not where your preferment lieth I see, He sending you such a token, ring and letter.

+C. Custance.+ Mary here it is, ye neuer sawe a better.

+M. Mery.+ Let vs see your letter.

+C. Custance.+ Holde, reade it if ye can. And see what letter it is to winne a woman.

+M. Mery.+ To mine owne deare coney birde, swete heart, and pigsny Good Mistresse Custance present these by and by, Of this superscription do ye blame the stile?

+C. Custance.+ With the rest as good stuffe as ye redde a great while.

+M. Mery.+ Sweete mistresse where as I loue you nothing at all, Regarding your substance and richesse chiefe of all, For your personage, beautie, demeanour and wit, I commende me vnto you neuer a whit. Sorie to heare report of your good welfare. For (as I heare say) suche your conditions are, That ye be worthie fauour of no liuing man, To be abhorred of euery honest man. To be taken for a woman enclined to vice. Nothing at all to Vertue gyuing hir due price. Whersore concerning mariage, ye are thought Suche a fine Paragon, as nere honest man bought. And nowe by these presentes I do you aduertise That I am minded to marrie you in no wise. For your goodes and substance, I coulde bee content To take you as ye are. If ye mynde to bee my wyfe, Ye shall be assured for the tyme of my lyfe, I will keepe ye ryght well, from good rayment and fare, Ye shall not be kepte but in sorowe and care. Ye shall in no wyse lyue at your owne libertie, Doe and say what ye lust, ye shall neuer please me, But when ye are mery, I will be all sadde, When ye are sory, I will be very gladde. When ye seeke your heartes ease, I will be vnkinde, At no tyme, in me shall ye muche gentlenesse finde. But all things contrary to your will and minde, Shall be done: otherwise I wyll not be behinde To speake. And as for all them that woulde do you wrong I will so helpe and mainteyne, ye shall not lyue long. Nor any foolishe dolte, shall cumbre you but I. Thus good mistresse Custance, the lorde you saue and kepe, From me Roister Doister, whether I wake or slepe. Who fauoureth you no lesse, (ye may be bolde) Than this letter purporteth, which ye haue vnfolde.

+C. Custance.+ Howe by this letter of loue? is it not fine?

+R. Royster.+ By the armes of Caleys it is none of myne.

+M. Mery.+ Fie you are fowle to blame this is your owne hand.

+C. Custance.+ Might not a woman be proude of such an husbande?

+M. Mery.+ Ah that ye would in a letter shew such despite.

+R. Royster.+ Oh I would I had hym here, the which did it endite.

+M. Mery.+ Why ye made it your selfe ye tolde me by this light.

+R. Royster.+ Yea I ment I wrote it myne owne selfe yesternight.

+C. Custance.+ Ywis sir, I would not haue sent you such a mocke.

+R. Royster.+ Ye may so take it, but I ment it not so by cocke.

+M. Mery.+ Who can blame this woman to fume and frette and rage? Tut, tut, your selfe nowe haue marde your owne marriage. Well, yet mistresse Custance, if ye can this remitte, This gentleman other wise may your loue requitte.

+C. Custance.+ No God be with you both, and seeke no more to me.
_Exeat._

+R. Royster.+ Wough, she is gone for euer, I shall hir no more see.

+M. Mery.+ What weepe? fye for shame, and blubber? for manhods sake, Neuer lette your foe so muche pleasure of you take. Rather play the mans parte, and doe loue refraine. If she despise you een despise ye hir againe.

+R. Royster.+ By gosse and for thy sake I defye hir in deede.

+M. Mery.+ Yea and perchaunce that way ye shall much sooner speede, For one madde propretie these women haue in fey, When ye will, they will not: Will not ye, then will they. Ah foolishe woman, ah moste vnluckie Custance, Ah vnfortunate woman, ah pieuishe Custance, Art thou to thine harmes so obstinately bent, That thou canst not see where lieth thine high preferment? Canst thou not lub dis man, which coulde lub dee so well? Art thou so much thine own foe.

+R. Royster.+ Thou dost the truth tell.

+M. Mery.+ Wel I lament.

+R. Royster.+ So do I.

+M. Mery.+ Wherfor?

+R. Royster.+ For this thing Bicause she is gone.

+M. Mery.+ I mourne for an other thing.

+R. Royster.+ What is it Merygreeke, wherfore thou dost griefe take?

+M. Mery.+ That I am not a woman myselfe for your sake, I would haue you my selfe, and a strawe for yond Gill, And mocke much of you though it were against my will. I would not I warrant you, fall in such a rage, As so to refuse suche a goodly personage.

+R. Royster.+ In faith I heartily thanke thee Merygreeke.

+M. Mery.+ And I were a woman.

+R. Royster.+ Thou wouldest to me seeke.

+M. Mery.+ For though I say it, a goodly person ye bee.

+R. Royster.+ No, no.

+M. Mery.+ Yes a goodly man as ere I dyd see.

+R. Royster.+ No, I am a poore homely man as God made mee.

+M. Mery.+ By the faith that I owe to God sir, but ye bee. Woulde I might for your sake, spende a thousande pound land.

+R. Royster.+ I dare say thou wouldest haue me to thy husbande.

+M. Mery.+ Yea: And I were the fairest lady in the shiere, And knewe you as I know you, and see you nowe here. Well I say no more.

+R. Royster.+ Gramercies with all my hart.

+M. Mery.+ But since that can not be, will ye play a wise parte?

+R. Royster.+ How should I?

+M. Mery.+ Refraine from Custance a while now. And I warrant hir soone right glad to seeke to you, Ye shall see hir anon come on hir knees creeping, And pray you to be good to hir salte teares weeping.

+R. Royster.+ But what and she come not?

+M. Mery.+ In faith then farewel she. Or else if ye be wroth, ye may auenged be.

+R. Royster.+ By cocks precious potsticke, and een so I shall. I wyll vtterly destroy hir, and house and all, But I woulde be auenged in the meane space, On that vile scribler, that did my wowyng disgrace.

+M. Mery.+ Scribler (ko you) in deede he is worthy no lesse. I will call hym to you, and ye bidde me doubtlesse.

+R. Royster.+ Yes, for although he had as many liues, As a thousande widowes, and a thousande wiues, As a thousande lyons, and a thousand rattes, A thousande wolues, and a thousande cattes, A thousande bulles, and a thousande calues, And a thousande legions diuided in halues, He shall neuer scape death on my swordes point, Though I shoulde be torne therfore ioynt by ioynt.

+M. Mery.+ Nay, if ye will kyll him, I will not fette him, I will not in so muche extremitie sette him, He may yet amende sir, and be an honest man, Therfore pardon him good soule, as muche as ye can.

+R. Royster.+ Well, for thy sake, this once with his lyfe he shall passe, But I wyll hewe hym all to pieces by the Masse.

+M. Mery.+ Nay fayth ye shall promise that he shall no harme haue, Else I will not fet him.

+R. Royster.+ I shall so God me saue. But I may chide him a good.

+M. Mery.+ Yea that do hardely.

+R. Royster.+ Go then.

+M. Mery.+ I returne, and bring him to you by and by. _Ex._

Actus. iij. Scæna. v.

+Roister Doister. Mathewe Merygreeke. Scriuener.+

+R. Royster.+ What is a gentleman but his worde and his promise? I must nowe saue this vilaines lyfe in any wise, And yet at hym already my handes doe tickle, I shall vneth holde them, they wyll be so fickle. But lo and Merygreeke haue not brought him sens?

+M. Mery.+ Nay I woulde I had of my purse payde fortie pens.

+Scriuener.+ So woulde I too: but it needed not that stounde,

+M. Mery.+ But the ientman had rather spent fiue thousande pounde, For it disgraced him at least fiue tymes so muche.

+Scriuener.+ He disgraced hym selfe, his loutishnesse is suche.

+R. Royster.+ Howe long they stande prating? Why comst thou not away?

+M. Mery.+ Come nowe to hymselfe, and hearke what he will say.

+Scriuener.+ I am not afrayde in his presence to appeere.

+R. Royster.+ Arte thou come felow?

+Scriuener.+ How thinke you? am I not here?

+R. Royster.+ What hindrance hast thou done me, and what villanie?

+Scriuener.+ It hath come of thy selfe, if thou hast had any.

+R. Royster.+ All the stocke thou comest of later or rather, From thy fyrst fathers grandfathers fathers father, Nor all that shall come of thee to the worldes ende, Though to three score generations they descende, Can be able to make me a iust recompense, For this trespasse of thine and this one offense.

+Scriuener.+ Wherin?

+R. Royster.+ Did not you make me a letter brother?

+Scriuener.+ Pay the like hire, I will make you suche an other.

+R. Royster.+ Nay see and these whooreson Phariseys and Scribes Doe not get their liuyng by polling and bribes. If it were not for shame.

+Scriuener.+ Nay holde thy hands still.

+M. Mery.+ Why did ye not promise that ye would not him spill?

+Scriuener.+ Let him not spare me.

+R. Royster.+ Why wilt thou strike me again?

+Scriuener.+ Ye shall haue as good as ye bring of me that is plaine.

+M. Mery.+ I can not blame him sir, though your blowes wold him greue. For he knoweth present death to ensue of all ye geue.

+R. Royster.+ Well, this man for once hath purchased thy pardon.

+Scriuener.+ And what say ye to me? or else I will be gon.

+R. Royster.+ I say the letter thou madest me was not good.

+Scriuener.+ Then did ye wrong copy it of likelyhood.

+R. Royster.+ Yes, out of thy copy worde for worde I wrote.

+Scriuener.+ Then was it as ye prayed to haue it I wote, But in reading and pointyng there was made some faulte.

+R. Royster.+ I wote not, but it made all my matter to haulte.

+Scriuener.+ Howe say you, is this mine originall or no?

+R. Royster.+ The selfe same that I wrote out of, so mote I go.

+Scriuener.+ Loke you on your owne fist, and I will looke on this, And let this man be iudge whether I reade amisse. To myne owne dere coney birde, sweete heart, and Good mistresse Custance, present these by and by. How now? doth not this superscription agree?

+R. Royster.+ Reade that is within, and there ye shall the fault see.

+Scriuener.+ Sweete mistresse, where as I loue you, nothing at all Regarding your richesse and substance: chiefe of all For your personage, beautie, demeanour and witte I commende me vnto you: Neuer a whitte Sory to heare reporte of your good welfare. For (as I heare say) suche your conditions are, That ye be worthie fauour: Of no liuing man To be abhorred: of euery honest man To be taken for a woman enclined to vice Nothing at all: to vertue giuing hir due price. Wherfore concerning mariage, ye are thought Suche a fine Paragon, as nere honest man bought. And nowe by these presents I doe you aduertise, That I am minded to marrie you: In no wyse For your goodes and substance: I can be content To take you as you are: yf ye will be my wife, Ye shall be assured for the time of my life, I wyll keepe you right well: from good raiment and fare, Ye shall not be kept: but in sorowe and care Ye shall in no wyse lyue: at your owne libertie, Doe and say what ye lust: ye shall neuer please me But when ye are merrie: I will bee all sadde When ye are sorie: I wyll be very gladde When ye seeke your heartes ease: I will be vnkinde At no time: in me shall ye muche gentlenesse finde. But all things contrary to your will and minde Shall be done otherwise: I wyll not be behynde To speake: And as for all they that woulde do you wrong, (I wyll so helpe and maintayne ye) shall not lyue long. Nor any foolishe dolte shall cumber you, but I, I, who ere say nay, wyll sticke by you tyll I die. Thus good mistresse Custance, the lorde you saue and kepe. From me Roister Doister, whether I wake or slepe, Who fauoureth you no lesse, (ye may be bolde) Than this letter purporteth, which ye haue vnfolde. Now sir, what default can ye finde in this letter?

+R. Royster.+ Of truth in my mynde there can not be a better.

+Scriuener.+ Then was the fault in readyng, and not in writyng, No nor I dare say in the fourme of endityng, But who read this letter, that it sounded so nought?

+M. Mery.+ I redde it in deede.

+Scriuener.+ Ye red it not as ye ought.

+R. Royster.+ Why thou wretched villaine was all this same fault
in thee?

+M. Mery.+ I knocke your costarde if ye offer to strike me.

+R. Royster.+ Strikest thou in deede? and I offer but in iest?

+M. Mery.+ Yea and rappe you againe except ye can sit in rest. And I will no longer tarie here me beleue.

+R. Royster.+ What wilt thou be angry, and I do thee forgeue? Fare thou well scribler, I crie thee mercie in deede.

+Scriuener.+ Fare ye well bibbler, and worthily may ye speede.

+R. Royster.+ If it were an other but thou, it were a knaue.

+M. Mery.+ Ye are an other your selfe sir, the lorde vs both saue, Albeit in this matter I must your pardon craue, Alas woulde ye wyshe in me the witte that ye haue? But as for my fault I can quickely amende, I will shewe Custance it was I that did offende.

+R. Royster.+ By so doing hir anger may be reformed.

+M. Mery.+ But if by no entreatie she will be turned, Then sette lyght by hir and bee as testie as shee, And doe your force vpon hir with extremitie.

+R. Royster.+ Come on therefore lette vs go home in sadnesse.

+M. Mery.+ That if force shall neede all may be in a readinesse, And as for thys letter hardely let all go, We wyll know where she refuse you for that or no. [_Exeant am._

Actus. iiij. Scæna. j.

+Sym Suresby.+

+Sim Sure.+ Is there any man but I Sym Suresby alone, That would haue taken such an enterprise him vpon, In suche an outragious tempest as as this was. Suche a daungerous gulfe of the sea to passe. I thinke verily _Neptunes_ mightie godshyp, Was angry with some that was in our shyp, And but for the honestie which in me he founde, I thinke for the others sake we had bene drownde. But fye on that seruant which for his maisters wealth Will sticke for to hazarde both his lyfe and his health. My maister Gawyn Goodlucke after me a day Bicause of the weather, thought best hys shyppe to stay, And now that I haue the rough sourges so well past, God graunt I may finde all things safe here at last. Then will I thinke all my trauaile well spent. Nowe the first poynt wherfore my maister hath me sent Is to salute dame Christian Custance his wife, Espoused: whome he tendreth no lesse than his life, I must see how it is with hir well or wrong, And whether for him she doth not now thinke long: Then to other friendes I haue a message or tway, And then so to returne and mete him on the way. Now wyll I goe knocke that I may dispatche with speede, But loe forth commeth hir selfe happily in deede.

Actus. iiij. Scæna. ij.

+Christian Custance. Sim. Suresby.+

+C. Custance.+ I come to see if any more stirryng be here, But what straunger is this, which doth to me appere?

+Sym Surs.+ I will speake to hir: Dame the lorde you saue and see.

+C. Custance.+ What friende Sym Suresby? Forsoth right welcome ye be, Howe doth mine owne Gawyn Goodlucke, I pray the tell?

+S. Suresby.+ When he knoweth of your health he will be perfect well.

+C. Custance.+ If he haue perfect helth, I am as I would be.

+Sim. Sure.+ Suche newes will please him well, this is as it should be.

+C. Custance.+ I thinke now long for him.

+Sym Sure.+ And he as long for you.

+C. Custance.+ When wil he be at home?

+Sym Sure.+ His heart is here een now His body commeth after.

+C. Custance.+ I woulde see that faine.

+Sim Sure.+ As fast as wynde and sayle can cary it a maine. But what two men are yonde comming hitherwarde?

+C. Custance.+ Now I shrew their best Christmasse chekes both
togetherward.

Actus. iiij. Scæna. iij.

+Christian Custance. Sym Suresby. Ralph Roister. Mathew Merygreke.
Trupeny.+

+C. Custance.+ What meane these lewde felowes thus to trouble me stil? Sym Suresby here perchance shal therof deme som yll, And shall suspect in me some point of naughtinesse, And they come hitherward.

+Sym Sure.+ What is their businesse?

+C. Custance.+ I haue nought to them, nor they to me in sadnesse.

+Sim Sure.+ Let vs hearken them, somewhat there is I feare it.

+R. Royster.+ I will speake out aloude best, that she may heare it.

+M. Mery.+ Nay alas, ye may so feare hir out of hir wit.

+R. Royster.+ By the crosse of my sworde, I will hurt hir no whit.

+M. Mery.+ Will ye doe no harme in deede, shall I trust your worde?

+R. Royster.+ By Roister Doisters fayth I will speake but in borde.

+Sim Sure.+ Let vs hearken them, somwhat there is I feare it.