Chapter I: CARE not much for gold or land,

Give me a mortgage here and there,
Some good bank stock—some note of hand,
Or trifling railroad share.
I only ask that Fortune send
A little more than I can spend.

* * * * *

MAN’S love is like Scotch snuff—
You take a pinch and that’s enough.
Profit by this sage advice,
When you fall in love, think twice.

* * * * *

LONG may you live,
Happy may you be,
When you get married
Come and see me.

* * * * *

MAY you be happy,
Each day of your life,
Get a good husband
And make a good wife.

* * * * *

AS sure as comes your wedding day,
A broom to you I’ll send;
In _sunshine_, use the brushy part,
In _storm_, the other end.

* * * * *