Chapter XIII: Letter XII

CHOICE OF COMPANIONS AND FRIENDS.--SELECTION OF A PURSUIT IN LIFE.--COURTSHIP.--MARRIAGE.--HOUSEKEEPING.--PECUNIARY MATTERS.

RULE to be observed in the Selection of Associates--Advantage
of the Companionship of Persons of more Experience than
Ourselves--False Sentiments entertained by Lord Byron
regarding Friendship--Self-Consciousness affords the best
Contradiction to these Erroneous Opinions--Value of
Friendship--Importance of the Judicious Selection of
Confidants--Folly of demanding Perfection in one's Friends
--Selection of Employment--The first Consideration in this
Relation--Thorough Education should not be confined to
Candidates for the Learned Professions--The Merchant Princes
of America--Avenues for Effort--All Honest Occupations
dignified by Right Conduct--The Pursuit of Wealth as an
End--Freedom the Prerogative of the Worker--A Professional
Manner Condemned--Individual Insignificance--Advantages of
Early Marriage--Cause of prevalent Domestic Unhappiness--Each
Individual the best Judge of his own Conjugal Requisites--
Health, Good-Temper, and Education essential in a Wife--
Accomplishments not essential to Domestic Happiness--
Disadvantages resulting from a previous Fashionable Career
--A True Wife--Respect due to the proper Guardians of a Lady
by her Suitor--Advantages of a Friendship with a Married Lady
--Reserve and Respect of Manner due to Female Friends--Manly
Frankness as a Suitor the only Honorable Course--Attachment
to one Woman no Excuse for Rudeness to others--The Art of
Pleasing--Presents, Complimentary Attentions, etc.--Nicety
of Perception usual in Women--Power of the Law of Kindness
in Home-Life--The Slightest Approach to Family Dissension to
be carefully avoided--The Duty of a Husband to exert a Right
Influence over his Wife--Union of Spirit the only Satisfying
Bond--More than Roman Sternness assumed by some--Sacredness
of all the Better Emotions of the Human Heart--Expressive
Synonymes--Pecuniary Matters--The Pernicious Effects of
Boarding--An Old Man's Advice--Household Gods--Propriety of
Providing for Future Contingencies--Slavery Imposed by Pride
and Poverty--Comfort and Refinement compatible with Moderate
Resources--Books and Works of Art to be preferred to Fine
Furniture--Importance of Cherishing the Esthetical Tastes of
Children--"Keeping" a great Desideratum in Social and
Domestic Life, 447

ILLUSTRATIVE SKETCHES, ETC.

THE MOOTED POINT.--A Morning Visit and Morning Occupations--
Macaulay and the Blanket Coat--Curate's Daughters and the
Daughters of New-England--A Sybarite--A Disclaimer and a
Witticism--Not a Gentleman--"Trifles make the sum of Human
Things"--The Slough of Despond--A Gift--Reading Poetry--
A Soldier's Tactics--The "Unpardonable Sin"--A Fair Champion
and a Noble Sentiment, 463

Anecdotes of a British Minister, an Ex-Governor, and an
American Statesman, 470

Chief-Justice Marshall and the Young Man of Fashion, 472

Habits of Early Friends, 478

THE PROPHECY FULFILLED.--A Denouement--Cupid turned Carrier--
Wedding-Cards and Welcome News--A True Woman's Letter, 478

Uncle Hal's Farewell, 480

THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE.