Chapter XXXIX: Part 39
Abon Hassan was taken up with these thoughts and reflections when his mother came to see him. She found him so much altered and emaciated, that she let fall a torrent of tears; in the midst of which she saluted him as she used to do, and he returned her salute, which he had never done before, since he had been in the hospital. This she looked upon to be a good sign. Well, my son, said she, wiping her tears, how do you do, and how do you find yourself? Have you renounced all those whims and fancies which the devil had put into your head? Indeed, mother, replied Abon Hassan, very rationally and calmly, and in a tone expressive of his grief for the excesses he had been transported to against her, I acknowledge my error, and beg of you to forgive the execrable crime which I have been guilty of towards you, and which I detest. I ask pardon also of my neighbours that I have abused. I have been deceived by a dream; but by so extraordinary a one, and so like to truth, that I venture to affirm any other person, to whom such a thing might have happened, would have been guilty of as great or greater extravagancies; and I am this instant so much perplexed about it, that while I am speaking I can hardly persuade myself but that what has happened to me was a matter of fact, so like was it to what happens to people who are broad awake. But whatever it was, I do, and shall always look upon it as a dream and an illusion. I am convinced that I am not that shadow of a caliph and commander of the faithful, but Abon Hassan your son, the son of a person whom I have always honoured till that fatal day, the remembrance of which will cover me with confusion, and whom I shall honour and respect all my life as I ought.
At these sensible words, the tears of sorrow and affliction which the mother of Abon Hassan had so long shed were changed into those of joy, to find her son so well recovered. My son! cried she, transported with pleasure, my satisfaction and comfort to hear you talk so reasonably is inexpressible; and it gives me as much joy as if I had brought you into the world a second time; but I must tell you my opinion upon this adventure, and observe one thing which you may not have taken notice of; the stranger that you brought home with you one evening to sup with you, went away without shutting your chamber-door after him, as you desired him; which I believe gave the devil an opportunity to enter, and throw you into that horrible illusion you were in: and, therefore, my son, you ought to return God thanks for your deliverance, and beseech him to keep you from falling again into the snares of the evil spirit.
You have found out the source of my misfortunes, answered Abon Hassan. It was that very night I had this dream which turned my brain. I bid the merchant expressly to shut the door after him; and now I find he did not do it. I am persuaded, as well as you, the devil, finding it open, came in, and filled my head full of these fancies. The people of Moussol, from whence this merchant came, may not know how we at Bagdad are well convinced that the devil is the cause of troublesome dreams when we leave our chamber-doors open. But since, mother, you see I am, by the grace of God, so well recovered, for God’s sake get me out of this hellish place, and deliver me from the hand of this executioner, who will infallibly shorten my days if I stay here any longer. The mother, glad to hear her son was so well cured of his foolish imagination of being caliph, went immediately to the keeper, and assuring him that he was very sensible and well, he came and examined him, and released him in her presence.
When Abon Hassan came home, he staid within doors some days, to recover his health by better living than he had found in the hospital. But when he had recovered his strength, and felt no more effect of the harsh treatment he had suffered in his confinement, he began to be weary of spending his evenings alone. He presently entered again upon the same way of living as before; which was, to provide enough every day to regale a new stranger at night.
The day on which Abon Hassan renewed his custom of going about sunset to the foot of Bagdad bridge to stop the first stranger that offered, and desire him to do him the honour of supping with him, happened to be the first day of the month, which was the day that the caliph always set apart to go in disguise out of some of the city-gates to observe with his own eyes what was committed contrary to the good government of the city, as he had established and regulated it at the beginning of his reign. He had not been long arrived at the bridge, and sat himself on a bench which was fixed to the parapet, when, looking about him, he perceived the caliph disguised again like a Moussol merchant, and followed by the same slave. Persuaded that all his misfortunes were owing to the caliph (whom he took for a merchant) leaving his door open, he shuddered at the sight of him. God preserve me! said he to himself; if I am not deceived, there is the magician again that enchanted me! and thereupon got up, and looked over the parapet into the river, that he might not see him till he was past.
The caliph, who had a mind to carry on the diversion he had received by Abon Hassan, had taken care to inform himself of all that had happened when Abon Hassan awaked at home, and conceived a great pleasure at the relation given him, especially at his being sent to a madhouse, and the treatment he received there. But as this monarch was both just and generous, and had taken a great liking to Abon Hassan, as capable of contributing further to his amusement, and had doubted whether, after renouncing his pretended character of a caliph, he would return to his usual manner of living, he designed, with a view to get him nearer him, to dress himself again like a merchant of Moussol, the better to execute his plan. He perceived Abon Hassan at the same time that he saw him, and presently guessed by his action that he was angry with him, and wanted to shun him. This made him walk close to the parapet Abon Hassan leaned over; and when he came nigh him, he put his head over to look him in the face. Ho, brother Abon Hassan, said he, is it you? I greet you! Give me leave to embrace you! Not I, replied Abon Hassan, briskly, without looking at the pretended Moussol merchant; I do not greet you; I will have neither your greeting nor your embraces. Go along!
What! answered the caliph, do you not know me? Do you not remember the evening we spent together at your house this day month, where you did me the honour to treat me very generously? No, replied Abon Hassan in the same tone, I do not know you, nor what you talk about; go, I say again, about your business.
The caliph was not to be dashed with this rude behaviour of Abon Hassan. He knew very well the law he had imposed on himself, never to have any commerce again with a stranger he had once entertained; but though Abon Hassan had declared so much to him, he pretended to be ignorant of it. I cannot believe, said he, but you must know me again; it is not possible that you should have forgotten me in so short a time. Certainly some misfortune has befallen you, which inspires you with this aversion for me. However, you ought to remember, that I showed my gratitude by my good wishes, and that I offered you my interest, which is not to be slighted, in an affair which you had very much at heart.
I do not know, replied Abon Hassan, what your interest may be, and I have no desire to make use of it; but I am sensible the utmost of your good wishes ended in making me mad. In God’s name, I say, once more, go your way, and trouble me no more.
Ah! brother Abon Hassan, replied the caliph, embracing him, I do not intend to part with you in this manner, since I have had the good fortune to meet with you a second time; you must exercise the same hospitality towards me again, that you showed me a month ago, when I had the honour to drink with you.
I have protested against it, said Abon Hassan, and have so much power over myself, not to receive a second time such an unlucky man as you. You know the proverb, ‘Take up your drum and begone.’ Make the application to yourself. How often must I repeat it? God be with you! You have been the cause of my misfortune, and I will not venture myself with you again. My good friend Abon Hassan, said the caliph, embracing him again, you treat me in a way I little expected. I beg of you not to talk to me in this harsh manner, but be persuaded of my friendship. Do me the favour to tell me what has happened to you; for I assure you, I wished you well, and still do so; and would be glad of an opportunity to make you any amends for the trouble I have caused you, if it has been really my fault. Abon Hassan yielded to the pressing instances of the caliph, and bid him sit down by him. Your incredulity and importunity, said he, have tired my patience; and what I am going to tell you will show you that I do not accuse you wrongfully.
The caliph sat down by Abon Hassan, while he told him all that had happened to him, from his waking in the palace to his waking again in his own house, all as a mere dream, with all the circumstances which the caliph knew as well as himself, and which renewed his pleasure. He enlarged afterwards upon the impression that dream of being caliph and commander of the faithful made upon him, which he said, threw him into such extravagancies, that his neighbours were obliged to bind him as a madman, and carry him to a madhouse, where he was treated in a way that must seem very barbarous. But, said he, what will surprise you, and what you little think of, is, that it was altogether your fault that these things fell out; for, if you remember, I desired you to shut the door after you, which you neglected, and the devil, finding it open, put this dream into my head, which, though it was very agreeable, was the cause of the misfortune I complain of: you, therefore, for your negligence, are answerable for the horrid and detestable crime I was guilty of in lifting my hand against my mother, whom I might have killed, and committed parricide (I blush for shame when I think of it,) only because she said I was her son, and she would not acknowledge me for the commander of the faithful, as I thought, and positively insisted on to her that I was. You are the cause of the offence I have given my neighbours, when, running in at the cries of my poor mother, they surprised me bent on knocking her down; which would never have happened, if you had taken care to shut my chamber door when you went away, as I desired you. They would not have come into my house without my leave; and, what troubles me most of all, they would not have been witness of my folly. I should not have been obliged to strike them in my own defence, and they would not have bound and fettered me to carry me and shut me up in the hospital for madmen, where I assure you every day that I remained confined in that hell, I received a score of strokes with a bull’s pizzle. Abon Hassan recounted his complaints with great heat and vehemence to the caliph, who knew better than he what had passed, and was delighted to find that he had succeeded so well in his plan to throw him into the vagaries he still was in. He could not help bursting out a laughing at the simplicity wherewith he related them.
Abon Hassan, who thought that his story should rather move compassion, and that every one ought to be as much concerned at it as himself, very much resented the pretended Moussol merchant’s laughter: What! said he, do you make a jest of me, and laugh in my face, or do you believe I laugh at you when I speak seriously? if you want proof of what I advance, look here yourself and see whether or no I tell you the truth: with that, stooping down and baring his shoulders, he showed the caliph the scars and weals the bull’s pizzle had made.
The caliph could not behold those objects without horror. He pitied poor Abon Hassan, and was sorry he had carried the jest so far. Come, rise, dear brother, said he to him very seriously, and embracing Abon Hassan heartily in his arms; let us go to your house, and enjoy the happiness of being merry with you to-night; and to-morrow, if it please God, all things will go well.
Abon Hassan, notwithstanding his resolution and oath never to admit the same stranger a second time, could not resist the caresses of the caliph, whom he always took for a merchant of Moussol. I will consent, said he, if you will swear to shut my door after you, that the devil may not come in to distract my brain again. The caliph promised that he would; upon which they both got up, walked towards the city, and followed by the caliph’s slave, reached Abon Hassan’s house by the time it was dark.
The caliph, the more to engage Abon Hassan, said to him, Place a confidence in me; I promise you on my honour I will not break my word. After this, you need not hesitate to trust in a person like me, who wishes you all happiness and prosperity, of which you will see the effects. I desire not that, said Abon Hassan, stopping him short. I yield to your importunity; but I dispense with your good wishes, and beg you in God’s name to form none for me. All the mischief that has hitherto befallen me arose purely from those you already expressed for me, and from your leaving the door open. Well, replied the caliph, still laughing at the misguided imagination of Abon Hassan, since you will have it so, be it so; I promise you I will form none. You do me pleasure by speaking so, said Abon Hassan; I desire no more; I shall be more than satisfied provided you keep your word, and I shall forgive you all the rest.
As soon as Abon Hassan entered the doors, he called for his mother and for candles, and desired his guest to sit down upon a sofa, and then placed himself by him. A little time after, supper was brought up, and they both fell to without ceremony. When they had done, Abon Hassan’s mother cleared the table, set on a small dessert of fruit, wine and glasses by her son, and withdrew, and appeared no more. Abon Hassan first filled his own glass, and then the caliph’s; and after they had drank some time, and talked of indifferent matters, the caliph perceiving that his host grew warm with liquor, began to talk of love, and asked him if he had ever felt that passion.
Brother, replied Abon Hassan, familiarly, thinking his guest was his equal, I never looked upon love or marriage but as a slavery, to which I was always unwilling to submit; and must own to you, that I never loved any thing but good cheer and good wine; in short, to divert and entertain myself agreeably with my friends. Yet I do not tell you that I am so indifferent to marriage or incapable of attachment, if I could meet with a woman of such beauty and sweetness of temper as her I saw in my dream on that fatal night I first received you into my house, and you, to my misfortune, left my door open, who would pass the whole night with me drinking, singing, and playing on some instrument, and in agreeable conversation, and who would study to please and divert me: I believe, on the contrary, I should change all my indifference into a perfect attachment to such a person, and, I think, should live very happily with her. But where is such a woman to be found but in the caliph’s palace, or in those of the grand vizier or some great lords of the court who want no money to provide them? I choose therefore to stick close to my bottle, which is a much cheaper pleasure, and which I can enjoy as well as they. Saying these words, he filled out his own and the caliph’s glass, and said, Come, take your glass, and let us pursue this charming pleasure.
When they had drank off their wine, It is great pity, said the caliph, that so gallant a man as you, who owns himself not insensible of love, should lead so solitary a life. I prefer the easy quiet life I live, replied Abon Hassan, before the company of a wife, whose beauty might not please me, and who, besides, might create me a great deal of trouble by her imperfections and ill-humour. The conversation lasted a long time, and the caliph seeing Abon Hassan had drank up to the pitch he desired, said, Let me alone, since you have the same good taste as every other honest man, I warrant you I will find you one that shall please you. Then taking Abon Hassan’s glass, and putting a pinch of the same powder into it again, filled him up a bumper and presenting it to him, said, Come let us drink beforehand the fair lady’s health, who is to make you happy. I am sure you will like her.
Abon Hassan took the glass laughing, and shaking his head, said, Be it so; since you desire it, I cannot be guilty of so great a piece of incivility, nor disoblige a guest of so much merit in such a trifling matter. I will drink the lady’s health you promise me, though I am very well contented as I am, and do not rely on your promise. But no sooner had Abon Hassan drank off his bumper, than he was seized with as deep a sleep as before, and the caliph ordered the same slave to take him and carry him to the palace. The slave did so, and the caliph, who did not intend to send back Abon Hassan as before, shut the door after him, as he had promised, and followed the slave carrying Abon Hassan.
When they arrived at the palace, the caliph ordered Abon Hassan to be laid on a sofa, in the fourth hall, from whence he was carried home fast asleep a month before; but first he bid them put him on the same habit which he acted the caliph in, which was done forthwith before him. He then sent every body to bed, and charged all the eunuchs, officers, ladies, and musicians who were in the hall, when he drank the last glass of wine which had put him to sleep, to be there by daybreak, and to take care to act their parts well when he should awake. He then went to bed, charging Mesrour to awake him before they went into the hall, that he might conceal himself in the closet as before.
Mesrour, at the hour appointed, awakened the caliph, who immediately rose and went to the hall where Abon Hassan lay fast asleep, and when he had placed himself in his closet, Mesrour and the other officers, ladies and musicians, who waited for him, went in, and placed themselves about the sofa, so as not to hinder the caliph from seeing what passed, and noticing all his actions.
Things being thus disposed, and the caliph’s powder having had its effect, Abon Hassan began to awake without opening his eyes, and threw off the phlegm, which was received in a gold basin as before. In that moment the seven bands of musicians joined their charming voices to the sound of hautboys, fifes, flutes and other instruments, forming a very agreeable concert. Abon Hassan was in great surprise to hear that delightful harmony; but when he opened his eyes, and saw the ladies and officers about him, whom he thought he knew again, his amazement increased. The hall that he was in, seemed to be the same he saw in his first dream, and he observed the same lustres, and the same furniture and ornaments.
The concert ceased, to give the caliph an opportunity of attending to the countenance of his new guest, and all that he might say in his surprise. The ladies, Mesrour, and all the officers of the chamber, waited in profound and respectful silence. Abon Hassan bit his finger, and cried loud enough for the caliph to hear him, Alas! I am fallen again into the same dream and illusion that happened to me a month ago, and must expect again the bull’s pizzle and iron cage at the madhouse. Almighty God, added he, I commit myself into the hands of thy divine providence. He was a wicked man that I entertained at my house last night, who has been the cause of this illusion, and the hardships I must undergo. The base wretch swore to shut the door after him, but did not, and the devil came in and has turned my brain with this wicked dream of being commander of the faithful, and other phantoms which bewitch my eyes. God confound thee, Satan, and crush thee under some mountain of stones.
After these last words, Abon Hassan closed his eyes, and remained sometime thoughtful and very much perplexed; then opening them again, and looking about him, cried out a second time with less surprise, and smiling at the various objects before him, Great God! I commit myself into the hands of thy providence; preserve me from the temptations of Satan. Then shutting them again, he said, I know what I will do: I will go to sleep until Satan leaves me, and returns as he came, were I to wait till noon. They did not give him time to go to sleep again, as he had promised himself: for Strength of Hearts, one of the ladies whom he had seen before, approached, and sitting down on the sofa by him, said to him respectfully, Commander of the faithful, I intreat your majesty to forgive me for taking the liberty to tell you not to go to sleep; day appears, and it is time to rise. Begone, Satan! answered Abon Hassan, raising his voice: but looking upon the lady, he said, is it me you call the commander of the faithful? Certainly you take me for somebody else. It is to your majesty I give that title, replied the lady, to whom it belongs, as you are sovereign of the Mussulman world, and I am your most humble slave. Undoubtedly, added she, your majesty means to divert yourself by pretending to have forgotten yourself, or this is the effect of some troublesome dream; but if you would but open your eyes, the mists which may disturb your imagination will soon be dispelled, and you will find yourself in your own palace, surrounded by your officers and slaves, who all wait your commands: and that your majesty may not be surprised to find yourself in this hall, and not in bed, I beg leave to tell you, that you fell so suddenly asleep last night, that we were unwilling to wake you, to conduct you to your chamber, but laid you carefully upon the sofa. In short, she said to him so many things that appeared probable, that at last he sat up, opened his eyes, and recollected her and all the ladies again. They all drew near, and she who spoke first, resuming the discourse, said, Commander of the faithful, and vicar of the prophet on earth, be not displeased if I acquaint your majesty once more that it is time to rise, for day appears.
You are very troublesome and importunate, replied Abon Hassan, rubbing his eyes: I am not the commander of the faithful, but Abon Hassan; I know it well, and you shall not persuade me otherwise. We do not know that Abon Hassan your majesty speaks of, nor desire to know him, answered the lady; but we know you to be commander of the believers, and you cannot persuade us to the contrary.
Abon Hasan looking about and finding himself in the same hall, attributed all he saw and heard to such a dream as he had before, and very much feared the dreadful consequences. God have mercy on me! said he, lifting up his hands and eyes, like a man who knew not where he was; I commit myself into his hands. I cannot doubt, after what I have seen, but that the devil, who came into my chamber, possesses me, and fills my imagination full of all these visions.
The caliph, who saw him all the time, and heard these acclamations, began laughing so heartily, that he had much ado to forbear bursting into loud laughter.
Abon Hassan laying himself down again, and shutting his eyes, the same lady again said, Commander of the faithful, since your majesty does not rise, after we have, according to our duty, informed you it was day, and the despatch of business requires your presence, we shall use the liberty you give us in such cases. Then taking him by one arm, and calling to one of the other ladies to do the same by the other, they lifted him up, and carried him into the middle of the hall, where they set him on his breech, and taking all hands, danced and skipped round him while the music played and rattled in his ears.
Abon Hassan was in an inexpressible perplexity of mind, and said, What! am I indeed caliph, and commander of the faithful? And in the uncertainty he was in, would have said something more, but the music was so loud, that he could not be heard. At last he made a sign to String of Pearls and Morning Star, two of the ladies who were dancing, that he wanted to speak with them; upon which they forbore, and went to him. Do not lie now, said he, but tell me truly who I am?
Commander of the faithful, replied Morning Star, your majesty means either to surprise us, by asking this question, as if you did not know that you are commander of the faithful, and the vicar on earth of the prophet of God, master of both worlds, that whereon we now are and that to come after death, or else you must have had some very extraordinary dream to-night, which has made you forget who you are; which may very well be, considering that your majesty has slept longer to-night than ordinary: however, if you will give me leave, I will refresh your memory with what passed yesterday. Then she told him how he went to the council, punished the iman, and the four old men, and sent a present by his grand vizier of a thousand pieces of gold to the mother of one Abon Hassan; what he did in the inner part of the palace, and what passed at the three meals which he took in the three halls, and how in the fourth your majesty did us the honour to make us sit down by you, to hear our songs, and receive wine from our hands, until your majesty fell so fast asleep, as Strength of Hearts has told you. From that time your majesty has continued, contrary to custom, in a sound sleep until now. --Strength of Hearts, all your other slaves, and the officers present, can confirm what I say, and it is now time you should go to prayers.
Very well, replied Abon Hassan, shaking his head, you would have me believe all this; but I tell you, you are all fools, or mad, and that is a great pity, for you are very pretty. Since I saw you I have been at home, where I used my mother so ill that they sent me to a mad-house, and kept me there three weeks against my will, and beat me every day with a bull’s pizzle, and yet you would make me believe all this to be a dream. Commander of the faithful, answered Morning Star, you are mistaken; we are all ready to swear by all that your majesty holds most dear that all you tell is a dream. You never stirred out of this hall since yesterday, but slept here all night long.
The confidence with which the lady assured Abon Hassan that all she said was truth, and that he had never been out of the hall since that time, made him not know what to believe, but bewildered his senses. O Heaven! said he to himself, am I Abon Hassan, or the commander of the faithful? Almighty God, enlighten my understanding, and inform me of the truth, that I may know what to trust to. Then he uncovered his shoulders, and shewed the ladies the livid weals of the blows he had received. Look, said he; judge whether these strokes could come to me in a dream, or when I was asleep. For my part, I can affirm, that they were real blows; I feel the smart of them yet, and that is a testimonial there is no room to doubt of. Now if I received these strokes in my sleep, it is the most extraordinary thing in the world, and surpasses my comprehension.
In this uncertainty Abon Hassan called to one of the officers that stood round him: Come hither, said he, and bite the tip of my ear, that I may know whether I am asleep or awake. The officer obeyed him, and bit so hard that he made him cry out horridly; the music struck up at the same time, and the officers and ladies all began to sing, dance, and skip about Abon Hassan, and made such a noise, that he was in perfect enthusiasm, and played a thousand merry tricks. He tore off his caliph’s habit, threw off his turban, and jumped up in his shirt and drawers, and taking hold of two of the ladies’ hands, fell a dancing and singing and jumping and cutting capers, that the caliph could not contain himself, but burst into such violent laughter at this sudden pleasantry of Abon Hassan, that he fell backwards, and made a greater noise than all the musicians together. He was so long before he could check himself, that it had like to have hurt him. At last he got up, and opened the lattice, and putting out his head, cried out, Abon Hassan, Abon Hassan, have you a mind to kill me with laughing?
As soon as the caliph’s voice was heard, every body was silent, and Abon Hassan, among the rest, who, turning his head to see from whence the voice came, knew the caliph, and the Moussol merchant, but was not in the least dashed; on the contrary, he found that he was awake, and all that had happened to him was matter of fact, and not a dream. He entered into the caliph’s pleasantry and intention. Ha! ha! said he, looking at him with good assurance, you are a merchant of Moussol, and complain that I would kill you; you have been the occasion of my using my mother so ill, and being sent to a mad-house. It was you who treated the iman and the four scheiks in the manner they were used, and not me; I wash my hands of it. It was you who have been the cause of all my disorders and sufferings: in short, you are the aggressor, and I the injured person.
Indeed, you are in the right of it, Abon Hassan, answered the caliph, laughing all the while; but to comfort you, and make you amends for all your troubles, I call Heaven to witness, I am ready and willing to make you what reparation you please to ask. After these words, he came out of the closet into the hall, and ordered one of his most magnificent habits to be brought, and commanded the ladies to dress Abon Hassan in it; and when they had done so, he said, embracing him, Thou art my brother; ask what thou wilt, and thou shalt have it.
Commander of the faithful, replied Abon Hassan, I beg of your majesty to do me the favour to tell me what you did to disturb my brain in this manner, and what was your design; for it is a thing of the greatest importance for me to know, that I may perfectly recover my senses.
The caliph was ready to give him that satisfaction, and said, First you are to know, that I often disguise myself, and particularly at night, to observe if all goes right in Bagdad; and as I wish to know what passes in its environs, I set apart the first day of every month to make a tour about it, sometimes on one side, and sometimes on another, and always return by the bridge. The evening that you invited me to supper, I had been taking my rounds, and in our conversation you told me, that the only thing you wished for was to be caliph for four-and-twenty hours, to punish the iman of your mosque and his four counsellors. I fancied that this desire of yours would afford me a great deal of diversion, and thought immediately how I might procure you that satisfaction. I had about me a certain powder, which immediately throws the person who takes it into a sound sleep for a certain time. I put a dose of it, without being perceived by you, into the last glass I presented you, upon which you fell fast asleep, and I ordered my slave to carry you to my palace, and came away without shutting the door. I have no occasion to repeat what happened at my palace when you awaked, and during the whole day till evening; but after you had been regaled by my orders, one of the slaves who waited on you put another dose of the same powder at night into a glass she gave you; you fell asleep as before, and the same slave carried you home, and left the door open. You have told me all that happened to you afterwards. I never imagined that you could have suffered so much as you have done. But as I have a great regard for you, I will do every thing to comfort you, and make you forget all your sufferings; think of what I can do to please you, and ask me boldly what you wish.
Commander of the faithful, replied Abon Hassan, how great soever my tortures may have been, they are all blotted out of my remembrance, as soon as I understand my sovereign lord and master had any share in them. I doubt not in the least of your majesty’s bounty; but as interest never governed me, and you give me liberty to ask a favour, I beg that it may be that of having access to your person, to have the happiness of admiring, all my lifetime, your grandeur.
This last proof of disinterestedness in Abon Hassan completed the esteem the caliph had entertained for him. I am pleased with your request, said the caliph, and grant you free access to my person at all times and all hours. At the same time, he assigned him an apartment in the palace, and, in regard to his pension, told him that he would not have him apply to his treasurer, but come always to him for an order upon him; and immediately ordered his private treasurer to give him a purse containing a thousand pieces of gold. Abon Hassan made a low bow; and the caliph left him to go to council.
Abon Hassan took this opportunity to go and inform his mother of his good fortune, and what had happened, which he told her was not a dream; for that he had actually been caliph, and had acted as such, and received all the honours, and that she had no reason to doubt it, since he had it confirmed by the caliph himself.
It was not long before this story of Abon Hassan was spread over Bagdad, and carried into all the provinces both far and near, without the omission of a single circumstance.
The new favourite, Abon Hassan, was always with the caliph; for, as he was a man of a pleasant temper, and created mirth wherever he went by his wit and pleasantry, the caliph could not live without him. He formed no party of diversion without him, and sometimes carried him along with him to see his consort Zobiede, to whom he had told his story, which so highly pleased him, as it did Zobiede; who observed that every time he came with the caliph, he had his eyes always fixed upon one of her slaves, called Nouzhatoul-aouadat, (which is to say, _renewed pleasure_,) and resolved to tell the caliph of it. Commander of the faithful, said that princess one day, you do not observe so well as I, that every time Abon Hassan attends you in your visits to me, he never keeps his eyes off Nouzhatoul-aouadat, and makes her blush, which is almost a certain sign that she entertains no aversion for him. If you approve of it, we will make a match between them.
Madam, replied the caliph, you put me in mind of a thing which I ought to have done before now. I know Abon Hassan’s opinion respecting marriage from himself, and have always promised him a wife that should please him. I am glad you mentioned it; for I know not now I came to forget it. But it is better that Abon Hassan should follow his own inclination, and choose for himself; and if Nouzhatoul-aouadat is not averse to it, we ought not to hesitate upon their marriage; and since they are both present, they have only to say that they consent.
Abon Hassan threw himself at the caliph’s and Zobeide’s feet to show the sense he had of their goodness to him; and, rising up, said, I cannot receive a wife from better hands, but dare not hope that Nouzhatoul-aouadat will give me her hand as readily as I give her mine. At these words he looked upon the princess’s slave, who showed by her respectful silence, and the sudden blush that arose in her cheeks, that she was disposed to obey the caliph and her mistress Zobiede.
The marriage was solemnized, and the nuptials celebrated in the palace with great rejoicings, which lasted several days. Zobeide, in pleasure to the caliph, made her slave considerable presents, and the caliph did the same to Abon Hassan. The bride was conducted to the apartment the caliph had assigned Abon Hassan, who waited for her with all the impatience of a bridegroom, and received her with the sound of all sorts of instruments, and musicians of both sexes, who made the air echo again with their concert.
After these feasts and rejoicings, which lasted several days, the new married couple were left to pursue their loves in peace. --Abon Hassan and his spouse were charmed with each other, and lived together in perfect union, and seldom were asunder, but when either he paid his respects to the caliph, or she to Zobeide. Indeed, Nouzhatoul-aouadat was endued with every qualification capable of gaining Abon Hassan’s love and attachment, and was just such a wife as he described to the caliph, and fit to sit at the head of his table. With these dispositions they could not fail to pass their lives agreeably. They kept a good table, covered with the nicest and choicest rarities in season, by an excellent cook, who took upon him to provide every thing. Their sideboard was always stored with exquisite wines, placed within their reach when at table, where they enjoyed themselves in an agreeable tete-a-tete, and afterwards entertained each other with some pleasantry or other, which made them laugh more or less, as they had in the day met with something to divert them; and in the evenings, which they consecrated to mirth, they had generally some slight repast of dried sweetmeats, choice fruits, and cakes; and at each glass invited each other by new songs to drink, and sometimes accompanied their voices with a lute, or other instruments, which they could both touch.
Abon Hassan and Nouzhatoul-aouadat led this pleasant life a long time, unattentive to expense, when the caterer, who disbursed all the money for these expenses, brought them in a long bill, in hope of having an advance of money. They found it, too late, to be so considerable a sum, including the wedding clothes and jewels for the bride, that all the presents that the caliph and the princess Zobiede had given them at their marriage were but just enough to pay him. This made them reflect seriously on what was passed, which, however, was no remedy for the present evil. But they agreed to pay the caterer; and having sent for him, paid him all they owed him, without considering the difficulty they would be in immediately after.
The caterer went away very well pleased to receive so large a sum of ready money, though Abon Hassan and his wife were not so well satisfied with seeing the bottom of their purse, but remained a long time silent, and very much embarrassed to find themselves reduced to that condition the very first year of their marriage. Abon Hassan remembered that the caliph, when he took him into the palace, promised never to let him want any thing; but when he considered how prodigal he had been of his money in so short a time, he was unwilling to expose himself to the shame of letting the caliph know the ill use he had made of what he had given him, and that he wanted more. Besides, he had made over his patrimony to his mother, as soon as the caliph received him near his person, and was afraid to go to her, lest she should find that he had returned to the same extravagance he had been guilty of after his father’s death. His wife, on the other hand, looked upon Zobeide’s generosity, and the liberty she had given her to marry, as more than a sufficient recompense for her service, and thought she had not a right to ask more.
Abon Hassan at last broke silence, and, looking upon his wife, said, I see you are in the same embarrassment as myself, and are thinking what we must do in this unhappy juncture, when our money fails us so unexpectedly. I do not know what your sentiments may be, but mine are, let what will happen, not to retrench our expenses in the least; and I believe you will come into my opinion. The point is, how to support them without stooping to ask the caliph or Zobeide; and I think I have fallen on the means; but we must both assist each other.
This discourse of Abon Hassan very much pleased his wife, and gave her some hopes. I was thinking so as well as you, said she, but durst not explain my thoughts, because I did not know how to help ourselves; and must confess, that what you tell me gives me a great deal of pleasure. But since you say you have found out a way, and my assistance is necessary, you need but to tell me, and I will do all that lies in my power.
I was sure, replied Abon Hassan, that you would not fail in this business, which concerns us both; and therefore I must tell you, this want of money has made me think of a plan which will supply us with some, at least for a time. It consists in a little trick we will put, I upon the caliph, and you upon Zobeide, and at which, I am sure, they will both be diverted, and it will answer very well to us. You and I will both die. Not I, indeed, interrupted Nouzhatoul-aouadat; you may die by yourself, if you will; I am not so weary of this life, and, whether you are pleased or not, will not die so soon. If you have nothing else to propose than that, you may do it by yourself; for I assure you I shall not join you.
You are a woman, I mean of such vivacity and wonderful quickness, replied Abon Hassan, that you scarce give me time to explain my design. Have but a little patience, and you shall find that you will be ready enough to die such a death as I mean; for surely you could not think I meant a real death? Well, said his wife, if it is but a sham death you design, I am at your service, and you may depend on my zeal to second you in this manner of dying; for I must tell you truly, I am very unwilling to die, as I apprehended you at first.
Be but easy a little, said Abon Hassan, and I will tell you what I propose. I will feign myself dead, and you shall lay me out in a white sheet, in the middle of my chamber, with my turban upon my face, my feet towards Mecca, and just ready to be carried out to burial. When you have done so, you must cry, and shed tears, as is usual in such cases, and tear your clothes and hair, or pretend to do it, and go all in tears, with your hair loose about your ears, to Zobeide. The princess will ask you the cause of your grief; and when you have told her, with words intermixed with sighs, she will pity you, and give you some money to defray the expense of my funeral, and a piece of good brocade to cover my body with, that my interment may be the more magnificent, and to make you a habit in the room of that she saw you had torn. As soon as you return with the money and the brocade, I will get up and lay you in my place, and go and act the same part with the caliph as you have done with Zobeide; and I dare say the caliph will be as generous to me as Zobeide has been to you.
When Abon Hassan had explained his plan, I think, replied Nouzhatoul-aouadat, it will be a pleasant trick, and I am much mistaken if the caliph and Zobeide will not like us for it. Let us put it in execution. Leave me to myself; I will play my part at least as well as I expect you will yours, and with as much zeal and attention, as the benefit we expect from it is great.
Nouzhatoul-aouadat liked this project very well, and said to Abon Hassan, Come, lose no time; strip to your shirt and breeches, while I prepare a sheet. I know how to bury as well as any body; for while I was in Zobeide’s service, and any of my fellow slaves died, I had the conducting of the funeral. Abon Hassan did as his wife bid him, and laid himself flat on his back on the sheet which his wife had spread on the carpet in the middle of the room. As soon as he had crossed his arms, his wife wrapped him up, turned his feet towards Mecca, and put a piece of fine muslin and his turban upon his face, so as to leave his breath free, so that nothing seemed wanting but to put him in a coffin, and carry him out to be buried. After this she pulled off her head-dress, and, with tears in her eyes, and her hair dishevelled, and seeming to tear it off, with a dismal cry and lamentation, beating her face and breast with all the marks of the most lively grief, ran across the court to Zobeide’s apartments; who, hearing the voice of a person crying very loud, commanded some of her women to see who it was; who returned and told her that it was Nouzhatoul-aouadat, who was coming in a deplorable condition.
The princess, impatient to know what had happened to her, rose up immediately, and went to meet her at the door of her ante-chamber. Nouzhatoul-aouadat played her part to perfection. As soon as she saw Zobeide, who held the door open, she redoubled her cries, tore her hair off by handfuls, beat her face and breast, and threw herself at her feet, bathing them with her tears.
Zobeide, amazed to see her slave in such extraordinary affliction, asked what had happened to her; but instead of answering, she continued her sighs and sobs, and, at last, feigning to strive to check them, said, with words interrupted with sighs, Alas! my most honoured lady and mistress, what greater misfortune could have befell me than this, which obliges me to throw myself at your highness’s feet? God prolong your days, my most respectable princess, in perfect health, and grant you many happy years! --Abon Hassan! poor Abon Hassan! whom you honoured with your esteem, and gave me for a husband, is no more!
At these last words, Nouzhatoul-aouadat redoubled her tears and sighs, and threw herself again at the princess’s feet. Zobeide was extremely surprised at this news. Abon Hassan dead! cried she; that healthy, agreeable, pleasant man! Indeed I did not in the least expect his death so soon; he seemed to promise a long life, and well deserved to enjoy it. Then she also burst into tears, as did all her women, who had been often witnesses of Abon Hassan’s pleasantries, when the caliph brought him to see the princess Zobeide; and all together continued a long time bewailing the loss of him. At length the princess Zobeide broke silence: Wicked woman! cried she, addressing herself to the false widow, perhaps you have occasioned his death! Your ill temper has given him so much vexation, that you have at last brought him to his grave. Nouzhatoul-aoudat seemed much hurt at the reproaches of Zobeide: Ah, madam, cried she, I do not think I ever gave your majesty, all the time I was your slave, the least reason to entertain so disadvantageous an opinion of my conduct to a husband who was so dear to me. I should think myself the most wretched of women if you were persuaded of this. I behaved to Abon Hassan as a wife should do to a husband for whom she has a sincere affection; and I may say, without vanity, that I had for him the same regard he had for me, which proved he loved me with equal affection. I am persuaded he would, were he alive, justify me fully to your majesty; but, madam, added she, renewing her tears, his time was come, and that was the only cause of his death.
Zobeide had really observed in her slave an uniformly equal temper and mildness, great docility and zeal for her service, which showed she was rather actuated by inclination than duty. She hesitated not to believe her on her word, and ordered her treasurer to fetch a hundred pieces of gold, and a piece of rich brocade.
The slave soon returned with the purse and piece of brocade, which, by Zobeide’s order, she put into Nouzhatoul-aouadat’s hand, who threw herself again at the princess’s feet, and thanked her with great satisfaction, to think she had succeeded so well. Go, said Zobeide, make use of that brocade to cover the corpse of your husband, and with that money bury him handsomely, and as he deserves. Moderate the transports of your afflictions; I will take care of you.
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The Arabian Nights' EntertainmentsChapter XXXIX: Part 39
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