Chapter XI: Part 11

“How many creatures of great lords,—enriched by them and placed in very high esteem, entrusted with their castles and fortresses, whereon depend their whole state, life and weal,—have basely and sordidly surrendered these to such as had no right thereto, without shame or fear of being called traitors? And would to God there were so great a dearth of such men in our days, that we might have no more trouble to find a man who had done his duty in this regard, than to name those who have failed in theirs. Do we not see many others who daily go about slaying men in the forest and scouring the sea solely to steal money?

“How many prelates sell the property of God’s church! How many lawyers forge wills! How many perjurers bear false witness only to get money! How many physicians poison the sick to the same end! Again, how many do the vilest things from fear of death! And yet a tender and delicate girl often resists all these sharp and hard encounters; for many have been found who preferred death rather than lose their chastity.”

47.—Then my lord Gaspar said:

“These, messer Cesare, I believe are not on earth to-day.”

Messer Cesare replied:

“I will not cite the ancients now; but I tell you this, that many would be and are to be found, who in such case do not fear to die. And now I remember that when Capua was sacked by the French (which was not so long ago that you cannot recall it very well),[412] a beautiful young Capuan lady being led out of her house, where she had been captured by a company of Gascons, when she reached the river that flows through Capua,[413] she pretended that she wished to tie her shoe, so that he who was leading her let her go a little, and she suddenly threw herself into the river.

“What will you say of a peasant girl, who not many months ago, at Gazuolo in the Mantuan territory,[414] went with her sister to reap corn in the fields, and being overcome with thirst, entered a house for a drink of water; and the master of the house, who was a young man, seeing that she was very beautiful and alone, took her in his arms, and first with soft words, and then with threats, sought to persuade her to his wishes; and she resisting more and more stubbornly, he at last overcame her with many blows and with force. So, dishevelled and weeping, she went back to her sister in the field, nor would she for all her sister’s urgent questioning tell what outrage she had received in that house; but on the way home, feigning to grow calmer little by little and to speak quite without agitation, she gave her sister some directions. Then when she came to the Oglio, which is the river that flows by Gazuolo,[415] she left her sister a little behind not knowing or imagining what she meant to do, and suddenly threw herself in. Wailing and weeping her sister ran after her as fast as possible along the bank of the river, which was bearing her down-stream very rapidly: and each time the poor creature rose to the surface, her sister threw her a cord which they had to bind the corn, and although the cord reached her hands several times (for she was still near the bank), the steadfast and determined girl always refused it and put it from her; and thus rejecting every aid that might save her life, she soon died: nor was she moved by nobility of birth, nor by fear of most cruel death or of infamy, but solely by grief for her lost virginity.[416]

LUDOVICO GONZAGA
BISHOP OF MANTUA
1458-1511
]

From a photograph, specially made by Signor Lanzoni, of a part of the
fresco, “The Return of Cardinal Francesco Gonzaga,” in the _Sala
degli Sposi_ of the Gonzaga Palace at Mantua, painted not later than
1474 by Andrea Mantegna (1431-1506). See Woltmann’s _Geschichte der
Malerei_, ii, 268.

“Now from this you can understand how many other women, who are not known, perform acts most worthy of praise; for although this one gave such proof of her virtue only three days since, as one may say, there is no talk of her and even her name is unknown. But if the death of our lady Duchess’s uncle, the Bishop of Mantua,[417] had not occurred at that time, the bank of the Oglio, at the place where she threw herself in, would have been graced by a very beautiful monument to the memory of that glorious soul, which deserved so much the brighter fame after death, because in life it dwelt in a less noble body.”

48.—Here messer Cesare made a little pause; then he continued:

“At Rome, in my day, there happened another like case; and it was that a beautiful and noble Roman girl, being long pursued by one who seemed to love her much, was never willing to favour him at all, even with a single look. So, by means of money he corrupted one of her women; who, desirous of satisfying him in order to get more money from him, persuaded her mistress to visit the church of San Sebastiano on a certain day of small solemnity;[418] and having made everything known to the lover and shown him what he must do, she led the girl to one of those dark caves which nearly all who go to San Sebastiano are wont to visit; and in this the young man was already hidden secretly.

“Finding himself alone with her whom he loved so much, he began in all ways to beg her as gently as he could to have pity on him and change her former hardness to love. But after he saw all his prayers to be in vain, he had resort to threats, which failing too, he began to beat her cruelly; at last, although firmly resolved to attain his end, by force if necessary, and therein employing the help of the infamous woman who had led her thither, he was never able to bring her to consent. Nay, with both word and deed (although she had little strength), the poor girl defended herself to the last: so that partly from anger at seeing that he could not obtain what he desired, partly from fear lest her relatives might make him suffer for it when they learned the thing, this wretch, with the help of the servant (who feared the like), strangled the unhappy girl and left her there; and having fled, he took means not to be discovered. Blinded by her very crime, the servant could not flee, and being taken into custody on suspicion, confessed everything and so was punished as she deserved.

“The body of the steadfast and noble girl was taken from that cave with the greatest honour and brought to Rome for burial, with a laurel crown upon her head, and accompanied by a countless host of men and women; among whom there was no one who went home without tears in his eyes; and thus was this rare soul universally mourned as well as praised by all the people.

49.—“But to speak to you of those whom you yourselves know, do you not remember having heard that when my lady Felice della Rovere was journeying to Savona,[419] and feared that some sails that were sighted were vessels of Pope Alexander in pursuit of her, she made ready with fixed resolve to cast herself into the sea, in case they should come up and there was no remedy by flight: and it is in no wise to be believed that she acted in this from lightness, for you know as well as any other with what intelligence and wisdom this lady’s singular beauty was accompanied.

“Nor can I refrain from saying a word of our lady Duchess, who having for fifteen years lived like a widow in company with her husband, not only was steadfast in never revealing this to anyone in the world, but when urged by her own people to lay aside her widowhood, she chose rather to endure exile, poverty and every other sort of hardship, than to accept that which seemed to all others great favour and blessing of fortune;”[420] and as messer Cesare was going on to speak of this, my lady Duchess said:

“Speak of something else, and go no further with this subject, for you have many other things to say.”

Messer Cesare continued:

“Yet I know you will not deny this, my lord Gaspar, nor you, Frisio.”

“Indeed no,” replied Frisio; “but one does not make a host.”

50.—Then messer Cesare said:

“It is true that such great results as these are met in few women: still, those also who withstand the assaults of love are all admirable; and those who are sometimes overcome deserve much pity: for certainly the urgence of lovers, the arts they use, the snares they spread, are so many and so continual that it is but too great a wonder that a tender girl can escape. What day, what hour, ever passes that the persecuted girl is not besought by the lover with money, gifts and all things that must please her? When can she ever go to her window, but she shall always see her persistent lover pass, silent in word but with eyes that speak, with sad and languid face, with those burning sighs, often with most abundant tears? When does she ever go forth to church or other place, but he is always before her, and meets her at every turn of the street with his melancholy passion depicted in his eyes, as if he were expecting instant death? I leave aside the fripperies, inventions, mottoes, devices, festivals, dances, games, masques, jousts, tourneys!—all which things she knows are made for her.

“Then at night she can never wake but she hears music, or at least his unquiet spirit sighing about the house walls and making lamentable sounds. If by chance she wishes to speak to one of her women, the wench (already corrupted with money) soon has ready a little gift, a letter, a sonnet or some such thing to give her on the lover’s behalf, and then coming in opportunely, makes her understand how the poor man is burning with love, and in her service cares naught for his own life; and how he seeks nothing from her that is less than seemly, and only desires to speak with her. Then remedies are found for all difficulties, false keys, rope ladders, sleeping potions; the thing is painted as of little consequence; instances are given of many other women who do far worse. Thus everything is made so easy that she has no further trouble than to say, ‘I am willing.’ And even if the poor girl holds back for a time, they add so many inducements, find so many ways, that with their continual battering they break down that which stays her.

“And when they see that blandishments do not avail them, there are many who have resort to threats and say they will accuse the woman to her husband of being what she is not. Others bargain boldly with the fathers and often with the husbands, who for money or to get favours give their own daughters and wives as an unwilling prey. Others seek by incantations and sorceries to steal from them that liberty which God has bestowed upon their souls: whereof startling results are seen.

“But I could not in a thousand years rehearse all the wiles that men employ to bring women to their wishes, for the wiles are infinite; and besides those that every man finds for himself, writers have not been lacking who have ingeniously composed books and therein taken every pains to teach how women are to be duped in these matters.[421] Now, among so many snares, think how there can be any safety for these simple doves, lured by such sweet bait. And what wonder is it, then, if a woman (seeing herself thus loved and adored for many years by a beautiful, noble and accomplished youth, who a thousand times a day puts himself in danger of death to serve her, nor ever thinks of aught but to please her) is finally brought to love him by continual wearing (as water wears the hardest marble), and, conquered by this passion, contents him with that which you say she in the weakness of her sex desires more than her lover? Do you think that this errour is so grave that the poor creature who has been caught by so many flatteries, does not deserve even that pardon which is often vouchsafed to homicides, thieves, assassins and traitors? Will you insist that this offence is so heinous that because you find some woman commits it, womankind ought to be wholly despised and held universally devoid of continence, without regard to the many who are found unconquerable, and who are proof against love’s continual incitements, and firmer in their infinite constancy than rocks against the surges of the ocean?”

51.—Messer Cesare having ceased speaking, my lord Gaspar then began to reply, but my lord Ottaviano said, laughing:

“For the love of Heaven, pray grant him the victory, for I know you will profit little; and methinks I see that you will make not only all these ladies your enemies, but the greater part of the men also.”

My lord Gaspar laughed, and said:

“Nay, the ladies have great cause to thank me; for if I had not gainsaid my lord Magnifico and messer Cesare, all these praises which they have bestowed upon women would not have been heard.”

FERDINAND THE CATHOLIC
1452-1516
]

Much enlarged from a part of Laurent’s photograph (no. 533) of an
altar-piece, formerly in the royal chapel of the Convent of St.
Thomas de Avila, but now in the Prado Gallery at Madrid. It was
painted about 1491 by order of the Inquisitor Torquemada, and has
been attributed to Miguel Zittoz.

Then messer Cesare said:

“The things that my lord Magnifico and I have said in praise of women, and many others too, were very well known and hence superfluous.

“Who does not know that without women we can feel no content or satisfaction throughout this life of ours, which but for them would be rude and devoid of all sweetness and more savage than that of wild beasts? Who does not know that women alone banish from our hearts all vile and base thoughts, vexations, miseries, and those turbid melancholies that so often are their fellows? and if you will consider well the truth, we shall also see that in our understanding of great matters women do not hamper our wits but rather quicken them, and in war make men fearless and brave beyond measure. And certainly it is impossible for vileness ever again to rule in a man’s heart where once the flame of love has entered; for whoever loves desires always to make himself as lovable as he can, and always fears lest some disgrace befall him that may make him to be esteemed lightly with her by whom he desires to be esteemed highly. Nor does he stop at risking his life a thousand times a day to show himself worthy of her love: hence whoever could form an army of lovers and have them fight in the presence of the ladies of their love, would conquer all the world, unless there were opposed to it another army similarly in love. And be well assured that Troy’s ten years’ resistance against all Greece proceeded from naught else but a few lovers, who on sallying forth to battle, armed themselves in the presence of their women; and often these women helped them and spoke some word to them at leaving, which inflamed them and made them more than men. Then in battle they knew that they were watched by their women from the walls and towers; wherefore it seemed to them that every act of hardihood they performed, every proof they gave, won them their women’s praise, which was the greatest reward they could have in the world.

“There are many who think that the victory of King Ferdinand of Spain and Queen Isabella against the King of Granada was in great part due to women; for very often when the Spanish army went out to meet the enemy, Queen Isabella went out also with all her maids of honour, and in the army went many noble cavaliers who were in love. These always went conversing with their ladies until they reached the place where the enemy were seen, then taking leave each of his own lady, they went on in this presence to meet the enemy with that fierce spirit which was aroused in them by their love and by the desire to make their ladies sensible of being served by men of valour; thus a very few Spanish cavaliers were often found putting a host of Moors to flight and to death, thanks to gentle and beloved women.

“So I do not see, my lord Gaspar, what perversity of judgment has led you to cast reproach on women.

52.—“Do you not know that the origin of all the graceful exercises that give pleasure in the world is to be ascribed to none other than to women? Who learns to dance and caper gallantly for aught else than to please women? Who studies the sweetness of music for other cause than this? Who tries to compose verses, in the vernacular at least, unless to express those feelings that are inspired by women? Think how many very noble poems we should be deprived of, both in the Greek tongue and in the Latin, if women had been lightly esteemed by the poets. But to pass all the others by, would it not have been a very great loss if messer Francesco Petrarch, who so divinely wrote his loves in this language of ours, had turned his mind solely to things Latin, as he would have done if the love of madonna Laura had not sometimes drawn him from them?[422] I do not name you the bright geniuses now on earth and present here, who every day put forth some noble fruit and yet choose their subject only from the beauties and virtues of women.

“You see that Solomon, wishing to write mystically of things lofty and divine, to cover them with a graceful veil composed a fervent and tender dialogue between a lover and his sweetheart, deeming that he could not here below find any similitude more apt and befitting things divine than love for women; and in this way he tried to give us a little of the savour of that divinity which he both by knowledge and by grace knew better than the rest.[423]

“Hence there was no need, my lord Gaspar, to dispute about this, or at least so wordily: but by gainsaying the truth you have prevented us from hearing a thousand other fine and weighty matters concerning the perfection of the Court Lady.”

My lord Gaspar replied:

“I believe nothing more is left to say; yet if you think that my lord Magnifico has not adorned her with enough good qualities, the fault lay not with him, but with the one who arranged that there are not more virtues in the world; for the Magnifico gave her all there are.”

My lady Duchess said, laughing:

“You shall now see that my lord Magnifico will find still others.”

The Magnifico replied:

“Indeed, my Lady, methinks I have said enough, and for my part I am content with this Lady of mine; and if these gentlemen will not have her as she is, let them leave her to me.”

53.—Here everyone remaining silent, messer Federico said:

“My lord Magnifico, to spur you on to say something more, I should like to put you a question concerning what you would have the chief business of the Court Lady, and it is this: that I wish to hear how she ought to conduct herself with respect to one detail which seems to me very important; for although the excellent qualities wherewith you have endowed her include genius, wisdom, good sense, ease of bearing, modesty, and so many other virtues, whereby she ought in reason to be able to converse with everyone and on every theme, still I think that more than anything else she needs to know that which belongs to discussions on love. For as every gentle cavalier uses those noble exercises, elegances and fine manners that we have mentioned, as a means to win the favour of women, to this end likewise he employs words; and not only when he is moved by passion, but often also to do honour to the lady with whom he is speaking, since he thinks that to give signs of love for her is a proof that she is worthy of it, and that her beauty and merits are so great that they compel every man to serve her.

“Hence I fain would know how this lady ought to converse on such a theme discreetly, and how reply to him who loves her truly, and how to him who makes a false pretence thereof; and whether she ought to feign not to understand, whether to return his love or to refuse, and how conduct herself.”

54.—Then my lord Magnifico said:

“It would be needful to teach her first to distinguish those who pretend to love and those who love truly; then, as to returning love or not, I think she ought not to be governed by any others’ wish but her own.”

Messer Federico said:

“Then teach her what are the surest and safest signs to discern false love from true, and with what proof she ought to be content in order to be sure of the love shown her.”

The Magnifico replied, laughing:

“I know not, for men to-day are so cunning that they make false pretences without end, and sometimes weep when they have great wish to laugh; hence it were necessary to send them to Isola Ferma under the True Lovers’ Arch.[424]

“But to the end that this Lady of mine (of whom it behooves me to take special care, since she is my creation) may not fall into those errours wherein I have seen many others fall, I should tell her not to be quick to believe herself loved, nor act like some who not only do not feign not to understand when court is paid to them even covertly, but at the first word accept all the praise that is given them, or decline it with a certain air that is rather an invitation to love for those with whom they are speaking, than a refusal.

“Therefore the course of conduct that I wish my Court Lady to pursue in love talk, will be to refuse always to believe that whoever pays court to her for that reason loves her: and if the gentleman shall be as pert as many are, and speak to her with small respect, she will give him such answer that he may clearly understand he is causing her annoyance. Again, if he shall be discreet and use modest phrases and words of love covertly, with that gentle manner which I think the Courtier fashioned by these gentlemen will employ, the lady will feign not to understand and will apply his words in another sense, always modestly trying to change the subject with that skill and prudence which have been said befit her. If, again, the talk is such that she cannot feign not to understand, she will take it all as a jest, pretending to be aware that it is said to her more out of compliment to her than because it is so, depreciating her merits and ascribing the praises that he gives her to the gentleman’s courtesy; and in this way she will win a name for discretion and be safer against deceit.

“After this fashion methinks the Court Lady ought to conduct herself in love talk.”

55.—Then messer Federico said:

“My lord Magnifico, you discourse of this matter as if everyone who pays court to women must needs speak lies and seek to deceive them: if the which were true, I should say that your teachings were sound; but if this cavalier who is speaking loves truly and feels that passion which sometimes so sorely afflicts the human heart, do you not consider in what pain, in what calamity and mortal anguish you put him by insisting that the lady shall never believe anything he says on this subject? Ought his supplications, tears, and many other signs to go for naught? Have a care, my lord Magnifico, lest it be thought that besides the natural cruelty which many of these ladies have in them, you are teaching them still more.”

The Magnifico replied:

“I spoke not of him who loves, but of him who entertains with amourous talk, wherein one of the most necessary conditions is that words shall never be lacking. But just as true lovers have glowing hearts, so they have cold tongues, with broken speech and sudden silence; wherefore perhaps it would not be a false assumption to say: ‘Who loves much, speaks little.’ Yet as to this I believe no certain rule can be given, because of the diversity of men’s habits; nor could I say anything more than that the Lady must be very cautious, and always bear in mind that men can declare their love with much less danger than women can.”

56.—Then my lord Gaspar said, laughing:

“Would you not, my lord Magnifico, have this admirable Lady of yours love in return even when she knows that she is loved truly? For if the Courtier were not loved in return, it is not conceivable that he should go on loving her; and thus she would lose many advantages, and especially that service and reverence with which lovers honour and almost adore the virtue of their beloved.”

“As to that,” replied the Magnifico, “I do not wish to give advice; but I do say that I think love, as you understand it, is proper only for unmarried women; for when this love cannot end in marriage, the lady must always find in it that remorse and sting which things illicit give her, and run risk of staining that reputation for chastity which is so important to her.”

Then messer Federico replied, laughing:

“This opinion of yours, my lord Magnifico, seems to me very austere, and I think you have learned it from some preacher—one of those who rebuke women for loving laymen, in order to have themselves the better part therein. And methinks you impose too hard a rule on married women, for many of them are to be found whose husbands bear them the greatest hatred without cause, and affront them grievously, sometimes by loving other women, sometimes by causing them all the annoyances possible to devise; some against their will are married by their fathers to old men, infirm, loathsome and disgusting, who make them live in continual misery. If such women were allowed to be divorced and separated from those with whom they are ill mated, perhaps it would not be fitting for them to love any but their husbands; but when, either by enmity of the stars or by unfitness of temperament or by other accident, it happens that the marriage bed, which ought to be a nest of concord and of love, is strewn by the accursed infernal fury with the seed of its venom, which then brings forth anger, suspicion and the stinging thorns of hatred to torment those unhappy souls cruelly bound by an unbreakable chain until death,—why are you unwilling that the woman should be allowed to seek some refuge from the heavy lash, and to bestow on others that which is not only spurned but hated by her husband? I am quite of the opinion that those who have suitable husbands and are loved by them, ought not to do them wrong; but the others wrong themselves by not loving those who love them.”

“Nay,” replied the Magnifico, “they wrong themselves by loving others than their husbands. Still, since not to love is often beyond our power, if this mischance shall happen to the Court Lady (that her husband’s hate or another’s love brings her to love), I would have her yield her lover nothing but her spirit; nor ever let her show him any clear sign of love (either by words or by gestures or by any other means) by which he may be sure of it.”

57.—Then messer Roberto da Bari said, laughing:

“I appeal from this judgment of yours, my lord Magnifico, and think I shall have many with me; but since you will teach married women this rusticity, so to speak, do you wish also to have the unmarried equally cruel and discourteous?—and complaisant to their lovers in nothing whatever?”

“If my Court Lady be unmarried,” replied my lord Magnifico, “and must love, I wish her to love someone whom she can marry; nor shall I account it an errour if she shows him some sign of love: as to which matter I wish to teach her one universal rule in a few words, to the end that she may with little pains be able to bear it in mind; and this is, let her show him who loves her every token of love except such as may imbue her lover’s mind with the hope of obtaining something wanton from her. And it is necessary to give great heed to this, for it is an errour committed by countless women, who commonly desire nothing more than to be beautiful: and since to have many lovers seems to them proof of their beauty, they take every pain] to get as many as they can. Thus they are often carried into reckless behaviour, and forsaking that temperate modesty which so becomes them, they employ certain pert looks with scurrile words and acts full of immodesty, thinking that they are gladly seen and listened to for this and that by such ways they make themselves loved: which is false; for the demonstrations that are made to them spring from desire excited by a belief in their willingness, not from love. Wherefore I wish that my Court Lady may not by wanton behaviour seem to offer herself to anyone who wants her and to do her best to lure the eyes and appetite of all who look upon her, but that by her merits and virtuous conduct, by her loveliness, by her grace, she may imbue the mind of all who see her with that true love which is due to all things lovable, and with that respect which always deprives him of hope who thinks of any wantonness.

“Moreover, he who is loved by such a woman ought to content himself with her every slightest demonstration, and to prize a single loving look from her more than complete possession of any other woman; and to such a Lady I should not know how to add anything, unless to have her loved by so excellent a Courtier as these gentlemen have described, and to have her love him also, to the end that they may both attain their complete perfection.”

58.—Having thus far spoken, my lord Magnifico was silent; whereupon my lord Gaspar said, laughing:

“Now, in sooth, you will not be able to complain that my lord Magnifico has not described a most excellent Court Lady; and henceforth, if such an one is found, I admit that she deserves to be esteemed the Courtier’s equal.”

My lady Emilia replied:

“I engage to find her, provided you will find the Courtier.”

Messer Roberto added:

“Verily it cannot be denied that the Lady described by my lord Magnifico is most perfect: nevertheless, as to those last conditions of love, methinks he has made her a little too austere, especially when he would have her deprive her lover of all hope, by words, gestures and behaviour, and do all she can to plunge the man in despair. For as everyone knows, human desires do not spend themselves upon those things whereof there is not some hope. And although a few women may have indeed been found, haughty perhaps by reason of their beauty and worth, whose first word to anyone who paid them court was that he must never expect to have anything from them that he wished,—yet afterwards they have been a little more gracious to him in look and manner, so that by their kindly acts they have somewhat tempered their haughty words. But if this Lady by acts and words and manner removes all hope, I think our Courtier, if he is wise, will never love her; and thus she will have the imperfection of being without a lover.”

59.—Then the Magnifico said:

“I do not wish my Court Lady to remove hope of everything, but only of wanton things, which (if the Courtier be as courteous and discreet as these gentlemen have described him) he will not only not hope for, but will not even wish for. Because if the beauty, behaviour, cleverness, goodness, knowledge, modesty, and the many other worthy qualities that we have given the Lady, are the cause of the Courtier’s love for her, the end of his love will necessarily be worthy too: and if nobility, excellence in arms and letters and music, if gentleness and the possession of so many graces in speech and conversation, be the means whereby the Courtier is to win the lady’s love, the end of that love must needs be of like quality with the means whereby it is attained.

“Moreover, just as there are divers sorts of beauty in the world, so too there are divers tastes in men; and thus it happens that when they see a woman of that serious beauty, which (whether she be going or staying or joking or jesting or doing what you will) always so tempers her whole behaviour as to induce a certain reverence in anyone who looks upon her,—many are abashed and dare not serve her; and lured by hope, they oftener love attractive and enticing women, so soft and tender as to display in words and acts and looks a certain languourous passion that promises easily to pass and be changed into love.

“To be safe against deceits, some men love another sort of women, who are so free of eye and word and movement as to do the first thing that comes into their mind with a certain simplicity which does not hide their thoughts. Nor are there lacking other generous souls, who—(esteeming that worth is shown in difficulty, and that it would be a victory most sweet to conquer what to others seems unconquerable), in order to give proof that their valour is able to force a stubborn mind and persuade to love even wills that are contrary and recusant thereto,—readily turn to love the beauties of those women who by eyes and words and behaviour show more austere severity than the others. Wherefore these men who are so self-confident, and who account themselves secure against being deceived, willingly love certain women also who by cunning and art seem to conceal a thousand wiles with beauty; or else some others, who along with their beauty have a coquettishly disdainful manner of few words and few laughs, with almost an air of prizing little every man who looks upon them or serves them.

“Then there are certain other men who deign to love only those women who in face and speech and every movement carry all elegance, all gentle manners, all knowledge, and all the graces heaped together,—like a single flower composed of all the excellences in the world. Thus if my Court Lady have a dearth of those loves that spring from evil hope, she will not on that account be left without a lover; for she will not lack those loves that spring both from her merits and from her lovers’ confidence in their own worth, whereby they will know themselves to be worthy of being loved by her.”

60.—Messer Roberto still objected, but my lady Duchess held him in the wrong, supporting my lord Magnifico’s argument; then she continued:

“We have no cause to complain of my lord Magnifico, for I truly think that the Court Lady described by him may stand on a par with the Courtier, and even with some advantage; for he has taught her how to love, which these gentlemen did not do for their Courtier.”

Then the Unico Aretino said:

“It is very fitting to teach women how to love, for rarely have I seen any that knew how: since they nearly all accompany their beauty with cruelty and ingratitude towards those who serve them most faithfully and deserve the reward of their love by nobility of birth, gentleness and worth; and then they often give themselves a prey to men who are very silly, base, and of small account, and who not only love them not, but hate them.

“So, to avoid such grievous errours as these, perhaps it was well to teach them first how to make choice of a man who shall deserve to be loved, and then how to love him; which is not needful in the case of men, who know it but too well of themselves. And here I can be a good witness; for love was never taught me save by the divine beauty and divinest behaviour of a Lady whom it was beyond my power not to adore, wherein I had no need of art or any master;[425] and I think that the same happens with all who love truly. Hence it were fitting to teach the Courtier how to make himself loved rather than how to love.”

61.—Here my lady Emilia said:

“Then discourse of this now, my lord Unico.”

The Unico replied:

“Methinks reason would require that ladies’ favour should be won by serving and pleasing them; but by what they deem themselves served and pleased, I think must needs be learned from ladies themselves, who often desire things so strange that there is no man who would imagine the same, and sometimes they do not themselves know what they desire. Hence it is right that you, my Lady, who are a woman and so must surely know what pleases women, should undertake this task, to do the world so great a benefit.”

Then my lady Emilia said:

“The very great favour that you always find with women is good proof that you know all the ways by which their grace is won; hence it is quite fitting that you should teach them.”

“My Lady,” replied the Unico, “I could give a lover no more useful warning than to look to it that you have no influence over the lady whose favour he seeks; for such good qualities as the world once thought were in me, together with the sincerest love that ever was, have not had so much power to make me loved as you have to make me hated.”

62.—Then my lady Emilia replied:

“My lord Unico, God forbid that I should even think, much less do, anything to make you hated; for besides doing what I ought not, I should be esteemed of little sense for attempting the impossible. But since you urge me thus to speak of that which pleases women, I will speak; and if you shall be displeased, blame yourself for it.

“I think, then, that whoever would be loved must love and be lovable; and that these two things suffice to win women’s favour.

“Now to answer that which you accuse me of, I say that everyone knows and sees that you are very lovable; but whether you love as sincerely as you say, I am very much in doubt, and perhaps the others too. For your being too lovable has brought it to pass that you have been loved by many women: and great rivers divided into many parts become little streams; so love, bestowed upon more than one object, has little strength. But these continual laments of yours, and complaints of ingratitude in the women you have served (which is not probable, in view of your great merits), are a certain sort of mystery to hide the favours, contentments and pleasures attained by you in love, and to assure the women who love you and have given themselves to you, that you will not betray them; and hence also they are content that you should thus openly display feigned love for others to hide their real love for you. So, if the women whom you now pretend to love are not so ready to believe it as you would like, the reason is because this artfulness of yours in love is beginning to be understood, not because I make you hated.”

63.—Then my lord Unico said:

“I do not wish to try again to confute your words, because I at last perceive that it is as much my fate not to be believed when I say truth, as it is yours to be believed when you say untruth.”

“Say rather, my lord Unico,” replied by lady Emilia, “that you do not love as you would have us believe; for if you loved, all your desire would be to please your beloved lady and to wish what she wishes, because this is the law of love; but your thus complaining of her denotes some deceit, as I said, or indeed gives proof that you wish what she does not wish.”

“Nay,” said my lord Unico, “indeed I wish what she wishes, which is proof that I love her; but I complain that she does not wish what I wish, which is a token that she loves me not, according to that same rule that you have cited.”

My lady Emilia replied:

“He who begins to love ought also to begin to please his beloved and bend himself wholly to her wishes, and govern his by hers; and make his own desires her slaves, and his very soul like unto an obedient handmaid, nor ever think of aught but to let it be transformed, if possible, into that of his beloved, and to account this as his highest happiness; for they do thus who love truly.”

“Assuredly,” said my lord Unico, “my highest happiness would be to have a single wish rule her soul and mine.”

“It rests with you to have it so,” replied my lady Emilia.

64.—Then messer Bernardo interrupted and said:

“Certain it is that he who loves truly bends all his thoughts to serve and please the lady of his love, without being shown the way by others; but as these loving services are sometimes not clearly perceived, I think that besides loving and serving it is further necessary to make some other demonstration of his love so evident that the lady cannot hide her knowledge that she is loved; yet with such modesty withal that he may not seem to have small respect for her. And since you, my Lady, began to tell how the lover’s soul must be the obedient handmaid of his beloved, I pray you explain this secret also, which seems to me very important.”

Messer Cesare laughed, and said:

“If the lover is so modest that he is ashamed to tell her of his love, let him write it to her.”

My lady Emilia added:

“Nay, if he is as discreet as becomes him, he ought to be sure of not offending her before he declares himself to her.”

Then my lord Gaspar said:

“All women like to be sued in love, even though they mean to refuse that which they are sued for.”

The Magnifico Giuliano replied:

“You are very wrong; nor should I advise the Courtier ever to employ this method, unless he be certain of not being repulsed.”

65.—“Then what is he to do?” said my lord Gaspar.

The Magnifico continued:

“If he must speak or write, let him do it with such modesty and so warily that his first words shall try her mind, and shall touch so ambiguously upon her wish as to leave a way and certain loophole that may enable her to feign not to see that his discourse imports love, to the end that he may retreat in case of difficulty and pretend that he spoke or wrote to some other end, in order to enjoy in safety those intimate caresses and coquetries that a woman often grants to him who she thinks accepts them in friendship, and then withholds them as soon as she finds they are received as demonstrations of love. Hence those men who are too precipitate and venture thus presumptuously with a kind of fury and stubbornness, often lose these favours, and deservedly; for every noble lady regards herself as little esteemed by him who rudely wooes her before having done her service.

66.—“Therefore in my opinion the way that the Courtier ought to take to make his love known to the Lady, seems to me to be by showing it to her in manner rather than in words;—for verily more of love’s affection is sometimes revealed in a sigh, in reverence, in timidity, than in a thousand words;—next by making his eyes to be faithful messengers to bear the embassies of his heart, since they often show the passion that is within more clearly than the tongue itself or letters or other couriers: so that they not only disclose thoughts, but often kindle love in the beloved’s heart. Because those quick spirits that issue from the eyes, being generated near the heart, enter again by the eyes (whither they are aimed like an arrow at the mark), and naturally reach the heart as if it were their abode, and mingling with those other spirits there and with that subtle quality of blood which they have in them, they infect the blood near the heart to which they have come, and warm it, and make it like themselves and ready to receive the impression of that image which they have brought with them. Travelling thus to and fro over the road from eyes to heart, and bringing back the tinder and steel of beauty and grace, little by little these messengers fan with the breath of desire that fire which glows so ardently and never ceases to burn because they are always bringing it the fuel of hope to feed on.

“Hence it may be well said that eyes are the guide in love, especially if they are kind and soft; black, of a bright and gentle blackness, or blue; merry and laughing, so gracious and keen of glance, like some wherein the channels that give the spirits egress seem so deep that through them we can see the very heart. Then the eyes lie in wait, just as in war soldiers lurk in ambush; and if the form of the whole body is fair and well proportioned, it attracts and allures anyone who looks upon it from afar until he approaches, and, as soon as he is near, the eyes dart forth and bewitch like sorcerers; and especially when they send out their rays straight to the eyes of the beloved at a moment when these are doing the same; because the spirits meet, and in that sweet encounter each receives the other’s quality, as we see in the case of an eye diseased, which by looking fixedly into a sound one imparts thereto its own disease. So methinks in this way our Courtier can in great part manifest his love for his Lady.

“True it is that if the eyes are not governed with skill, they often most disclose a man’s amourous desires to whom he least would do so; for through them there shines forth almost visibly that ardent passion which (while wishing to reveal it only to his beloved) the lover often reveals also to those from whom he most would hide it. Therefore he who has not lost the bridle of reason, governs himself cautiously and observes time and place, and abstains when needful from such intent gazing, sweetest food though it be; for an open love is too difficult a thing.”

67.—Count Ludovico replied:

“Sometimes even openness does no harm, for in this case men often think such a love affair is not tending to the end which every lover desires, seeing that little care is taken to hide it, nor any heed given whether it be known or not; and so, by not denying it, a man wins a certain freedom that enables him to speak openly with his beloved and to be with her without suspicion; which those do not win who try to be secret, because they seem to hope for and to be near some great reward that they would not have others discover.

“Moreover I have often seen very ardent love spring up in a woman’s heart towards a man for whom she had at first not had the least affection, simply from hearing that many deemed them to be in love; and I think the reason of this was because such an universal opinion as that seemed to her sufficient proof to make her believe the man worthy of her love, and it seemed as if report brought her messages from the lover much truer and worthier of belief than he himself could have sent by letters and words, or another for him.

“Thus, this public report not only sometimes does no harm, but helps.”

The Magnifico replied:

“Love affairs that have report for their minister put a man in great danger of being pointed at with the finger; and hence he who would travel this road safely, must feign to have less fire within him than he has, and content himself with that which seems little to him, and conceal his desires, jealousies, griefs and joys, and often laugh with his mouth when his heart is weeping, and feign to be prodigal of that whereof he most is chary; and these things are so difficult to do, that they are almost impossible. Therefore if our Courtier would follow my advice, I should exhort him to keep his love affairs secret.”

68.—Then messer Bernardo said:

“There is need, then, for you to teach him how, and methinks it is of no small importance; for, besides the signals which men sometimes make so covertly that almost without a motion the person whom they wish reads in their face and eyes what is in their heart,—I have sometimes heard a long and free love talk between two lovers, of which, however, those present could understand clearly no details at all or even be sure that the talk was about love. And the reason of this lay in the speakers’ discretion and precaution; for without showing any sign of annoyance at being listened to, they whispered only those words that signified, and spoke aloud the rest, which could be construed in different senses.”

Then messer Federico said:

“To speak thus minutely about these precautions of secrecy would be a journey into the infinite; hence I would rather have some little discussion as to how the lover ought to maintain his lady’s favour, which seems to me much more necessary.”

69.—The Magnifico replied:

“I think that those means which serve to win it serve also to maintain it; and all this consists in pleasing the lady of our love without ever offending her. Wherefore it would be difficult to give any fixed rule for it; since in countless ways he who is not very discreet sometimes makes mistakes that seem little and yet grievously offend the lady’s spirit; and this befalls those, more than others, who are overmastered by passion: like some who, whenever they have means of speaking to the lady whom they love, lament and complain so bitterly and often wish for things that are so impossible, that they become wearisome by their very importunity. Others, when they are stung by any jealousy, allow themselves to be so carried away by their grief that they heedlessly run into speaking evil of him whom they suspect, and sometimes without fault either on his part or on the lady’s, and insist that she shall not speak to him or even turn her eyes in the direction where he is. And by this behaviour they often not only offend the lady, but are the cause that leads her to love the man: because the fear that lovers sometimes display lest their lady forsake them for another, shows that they are conscious of being inferior to him in merits and worth, and with this idea the lady is moved to love him, and perceiving that evil is said of him to put him out of favour, she believes it not although it be true, and loves him all the more.”

70.—Then messer Cesare said, laughing:

“I own I am not so wise that I could abstain from speaking evil of my rival, except you were to teach me some other better means of ruining him.”

My lord Magnifico replied, laughing: