Chapter XIX: Part 19

In my teaching I wandered beyond our doctrines and taught that this world is but a mock, a shame, a disgrace, and that naught was of avail but repentance. John's teaching took possession of me, but I would not have you think here that I am about to lay my sins at John's door, for sin it is for a man to desire that which God has not given, and I should have remained an Essene shepherd following my flocks in the hills, whereas John did well to come out of his desert and preach that the end of the world was approaching and that men must repent, for God willed him to preach these things. His teaching was true when he was the teacher, but when I became his disciple his teaching became false; it turned me from my natural self and into such great harshness of mind that in Nazareth when my mother came with my brothers and sisters to the synagogue I said, woman, I have no need of thee, and when Joseph of Arimathea returned to me after a long attendance by his father's bedside (his father had lain in a great sickness for many months; it was through Joseph's care that he had been saved from death, Joseph was a good son), I told him he must learn to hate his father and his mother if he would become worthy to follow me. But my passion was so great in those days that I did not see that my teaching was not less than blasphemy against God, for God has created the world for us to live in it, and he has put love of parents into our hearts because he wishes us to love our parents, and if he has put into the heart of man love of woman, and into the heart of woman love of man, it is because he wishes both to enjoy that love.

I fear to think of the things I said at that time, but I must speak of them. One man asked me before he left all things to follow me if he might not bury his father first. I answered, leave the dead to bury their dead, and to another who said, my hand is at the plough, may I not drive it to the headland, I answered: leave all things and follow me. My teaching grew more and more violent. It is not peace, I said, that I bring to you, but a sword, and I come as a brand wherewith to set the world in flame. I said, too, that I came to divide the house; to set father against mother, brother against brother, sister against sister. I can see that my remembrance of him who once was wounds the dear brethren with whom I have lived so long; I knew it would be hard for you to hear that an Essene had broken the rules of a holy order, and it is hard for me to stand before you and tell that I, who was instructed by Hazael in all the pious traditions of our race, should have blasphemed against God's creation and God's own self. You will thrust me through the door as an unworthy brother, saying, go, live in the wilderness, and I shall not cry out against my expulsion through the hills and valleys, but continue to repent my sins in silence till death leads me into silence that never ends. You are perhaps asking yourselves why I returned here: was it to hide myself from Pilate and the Jews? No, but to repent of the evil seed that I had sown that I returned here; and it was because he wished me to repent that God took me down from the cross and cured me of my wounds in Joseph's house and sent me here to lead the sheep over the hills, and it was he who put this last confession into my mouth.

It seems to me that in telling this story, brethren, I am doing but the work of God; no man strays very far from the work that God has decreed to him. But in the time I am telling I was so exalted by the many miracles which I had performed by the power of God or the power of a demon, I know not which, that I encouraged my disciples to speak of me as the son of David, though I knew myself to be the son of Joseph the carpenter; and when I rode into Jerusalem and the people strewed palms before me and called out, the son of David, and Joseph said to me, let them not call thee the son of David, I answered in my pride, if they did not call it forth the stones themselves would. In the days I am telling, pride lifted me above myself, and I went about asking who I was, Moses, Elijah, Jeremiah or the Messiah promised to the Jews.

A madman! A madman, or possessed by some evil spirit, Paul cried out, and rising to his feet he rushed out of the cenoby, but nobody rose to detain him; some of the Essenes raised their heads, and a moment after the interruption was forgotten.

A day passed in the great exaltation and hope, and one evening I took bread and broke it, saying that I was the bread of life that came down from heaven and that whosoever ate of it had everlasting life given to him. After saying these words a great disquiet fell upon me, and calling my disciples together I asked them to come to the garden of olives with me. And it was while asking God's forgiveness for my blasphemies that the emissaries and agents of the priests came and took me prisoner.

At the touch of their hands the belief that I was the Messiah promised to the Jews rose up in my heart again, and when the priests asked me if I were the Christ, the Son of the Blessed, I answered, I am, and ye shall see the son of man sitting on the right hand of God; and it was not till I was hanging on the cross for upwards of two hours that the belief I had come down from heaven to do our Father's will faded; again much that I had said seemed to me evil and blasphemous, and feeling myself about to die I called out to my Father, who answered my call at once, bringing Joseph of Arimathea to the foot of the cross to ask the centurion for my body for burial. But the centurion could not deliver me unto him without Pilate's order, and both went to Pilate, and he gave me to Joseph for burial.

Nor did our Father allow the swoon to be lifted till Joseph entered the tomb to kiss me for the last time. It was then he opened my eyes and I saw Joseph standing by me, a lantern in his hand, looking at me ... for the last time before closing the tomb.

He lifted me on to his shoulder and carried me up a little twisting path to his house, and an old woman, named Esora, attended to my wounds with balsam, and when they were cured Joseph began to tell me that my stay in his house was dangerous to him and to me, and he vaunted to me in turn Cæsarea and Antioch as cities in which I should be safe from the Jews. But my mind was so weak and shaken that his reasons faded from my mind and I sat smiling at the sunlight like one bereft of sense. Strive as he might, he could not awaken me from the lethargy in which I was sunken, and every day and every week increased his danger and mine; and it was not till the news came that my old comrades had come to live in the Brook Kerith that my mind began to awaken and to move towards a resolution; an outline began to appear, when I said, I have led my sheep over the hills yonder many a time, and tempted me to speak of you till the desire arose in me to see you again. You remember our arrival one morning at daybreak and my eagerness to see the flock.

Brother Amos was glad to see me back again, and in talking of the flock Joseph was almost forgotten, which shows how wandering my mind was at the time.... He left without seeing me, but not without warning Hazael not to question me else my mind might yield to the strain, saying that it hung on a thread, which was true, and I remember how for many a year every cliff's edge tempted me to jump over. Joseph was gone for ever, and the memory of my sins were as tongues of flame that leaped by turns out of the ashes. But the fiercest ashes grow cold in time; we turn them over without fear of flame, and last night I said to Hazael as we sat together, there is a sin in my life that none knows of, it is buried fathoms deep out of all sight of men, and Hazael having said there was little of the world's time in front of him, I felt suddenly I could not conceal from him any longer the sin that Joseph had not dared to tell him--that I had once believed myself to be a precursor of the Messiah like many that came before me, but unlike any other I began to believe myself to be the incarnate word.

A soft, vague sound, the gurgle of the brook, rose out of the stillness, as it flowed down the gorge from cavern to cavern.

After a little while Hazael called to Manahem and bade him relate to Jesus the story Paul had told them, and when Jesus had heard the story he was overtaken with a great pity for Paul. But thinkest that he will believe thee? Hazael asked, lifting his chin out of his beard, and the calm of Jesus' face was troubled by the question and he sank upon a stool close by Hazael's chair. What may we do? he muttered, and the Essenes withdrew, for they guessed that the elders had serious words to speak together.

Thou hast heard my story, Hazael; nothing remains now but to bid farewell to thy old friend. To say farewell, Jesus, Hazael repeated, why should we say farewell? Hazael, the rule of our order forbids me to stay, Jesus answered; those who commit crimes like mine are cast out and left to starve in the desert. But, Jesus, Hazael replied, thou knowest well that none here would put thee beyond the doors. Thy crimes, whatever they may have been, are between thee and God. It is for thee to repent, and from hill-top to hill-top thou hast prayed for forgiveness, and through all the valleys. All things in the end rest with him. Speak to us not of going. But if God had forgiven me, Jesus answered, and my blasphemies against him, he would not have sent this man hither. And what dost thou propose to do? Hazael asked, raising his head from his beard and looking Jesus in the face.

To go to Jerusalem, Jesus answered, and to tell the people that I was not raised from the dead by God to open the doors of heaven to Jews and infidels alike. But who will believe thee to be Jesus that Pilate condemned to the cross? Hazael asked. Twenty years have gone over and they will say: a poor, insane shepherd from the Judean hills. Be this as it may, my repentance will then be complete, Jesus muttered. But thou hast repented, Hazael wailed in his beard. But, Jesus, all religions, except ours, are founded on lies, and there have been thousands, and there will be thousands more. Why trouble thyself about the races that cover the face of the earth or even about thine own race. Let thy thoughts not stray from this group of Essenes whom thou hast known always or from me who found thee in Nazareth and took thee by the hand. Why think of me? It is enough to remember that all good and all evil (that concern us) proceeds from ourselves. Hast not said to me that God has implanted a sense of good and evil in our hearts and that it is by this sense that we know him rather than through scrolls and miracles? Abide by thy own words, Jesus. Be not led away again by an impulse, and go not forth again, for it is by going forth, as thou knowest, that we fall into sin. Wouldst try once more to make others according to thine own image and likeness, to make them see and hear and feel as thou feelest, seest and hearest; but such changes may not be made by any man in another. We may not alter the work of God, and we are all the works of God, each shaped out of a design that lay in the back of his mind for all eternity. We cannot reshape others nor ourselves, and why do I tell things thou knowest better than I? The thoughts that I am teaching now are thine own thoughts related to me often on thy return from the hills and collected by me in faithful memory. Hast forgotten, Jesus, having said to me, the world cannot be remoulded, all men may not be saved, only a few, by the grace of God? I said these things to thee, Hazael, but what did I say but my thoughts, and what are my thoughts? Lighter than the bloom of dandelion floating on the hills. It is not to our own thoughts we must look for guidance but God's thoughts, which are deep in us and clear in us, but we do not listen and are led away by our reason. My sin was to have preached John as well as myself. I strayed beyond myself and lost myself in the love of God, a thing a man may do if he love not his fellows. My sin was not to have loved men enough. But we are as God made us, and must do the best we can with ourselves.

Jesus waited for Hazael to answer him, but Hazael made no answer, but sat like a stone, his head hanging upon his chest. Why dost thou not answer, Hazael? he said, and Hazael answered: Jesus, my thoughts were away. I was thinking of last night, of our talk together in that balcony--I was thinking, Jesus, how sweet life is in the beginning, and how it grows bitter in the mouth; and the end seems bitter indeed when we think of the gladness that day when we walked through the garlanded streets of our first day together in Nazareth. It was in the springtime of our lives and of the year. How delightful it was for me to find one like thee so eager to understand the life of the Essenes: so eager to join us. Such delight I shall not find again. We spoke last night of our journey from Nazareth to Jerusalem and across the Jordan. Thou wouldst not follow thy father's trade, but would lead flocks from the hills, and becamest in time the best shepherd, it is said, ever known in the hills. No one ever had an eye for a ram or ewe like thee, and of thy cure for scab all the shepherds are envious. We were proud of our shepherd, but he met John and came to me saying that God had called him to go forth and convert the world. Since God has placed thee here, I said, how is it that he should come and call thee away now? And thou wast eager with explanation up and down the terraces till we reached the bridge. We crossed it and followed the path and under the cliffs till we came to the road that leads to Jerusalem. It was there we said farewell. Two years or more passed away, and then Joseph brought thee back. A tired, suffering man whose wits were half gone and who recovered them slowly, but who did not recover them while leading his flock. How often have we talked of its increase, and now we shall never talk again of rams and ewes nor of thy meditations in the desert and on the hill-tops and in the cave at night. So much to me were these sweet returnings of thee from the hills that my hope was that the dawn was drawing nigh when thou wouldst return no more to the hills, and yesternight was a happy night when we sat together on the balcony indulging in recollection, thinking that henceforth we should live within sight of each other's faces always. My hope last night was that it would be thou that wouldst close my eyes and lay me in a rock sepulchre out of reach of the hyenas. But my hopes have all vanished now. Thou art about to leave me. The brethren? No, they will not leave me, but even should all remain, if thou be not here I shall be as alone.

But, Hazael, all may be as thou sayest, the Jews will welcome me, Jesus answered. I am no longer the enemy; Paul is the enemy of Judaism and I am become the testimony. Judaism, he says, is the root that bears the branches, and if I go to Jerusalem and tell the Jews that the Nazarene whom Pilate put upon the cross still lives in the flesh, they will rejoice exceedingly, and send agents and emissaries after him wherever he goes. Paul persecuted me and my disciples, and now it would seem that my hand is turned against him. Remain with us, Hazael cried. Forget the world, leave it to itself and fear not; one lie more will make no difference in a world that has lived upon lies from the beginning of time. A counsel that tempts me, for I would begin no persecution against Paul, but the lie has spread and will run all over the world even as a single mustard seed, and the seed is of my sowing; all returns to me; that Paul was able to follow the path is certain testimony that he was sent by God to me, and that I am called to be about my Father's work. As thou sayest, things repeat themselves. Farewell, Hazael. Farewell, my father in the faith. So there is no detaining thee, my dear son, and, rising from his seat, Hazael put a staff in Jesus' hand and hung a scrip about his neck. If thy business be done perhaps---- But no, let us indulge in no false hopes. Neither will look upon the other's face again. Jesus did not answer, and returning to the balcony Hazael said: I will sit here and watch thee for the last time.

But Jesus did not raise his eyes until he reached the bridge, and then he took the path that led by the cenobies of other days, and walked hastily, for he was too agitated to think. A little in front of him, some hundred yards, a great rock overhung the path, and when he came there he stopped, for it was the last point from which he could have sight of the balcony. As he stood looking back, shading his eyes with his hand, he saw two of the brethren come and touch Hazael on the shoulder. As he did not raise his head to answer, they consulted together, and Jesus hurried away lest some sudden and impetuous emotion should call him back from his errand.

CHAP. XXXVIII.

A small black bird with yellow wings, usually met with along the brook flitting from stone to stone, diverted his thoughts from Jerusalem and set him wondering what instinct had brought the bird up from the brook on to a dry hill-top. The bird must have sensed the coming rain, he said, and he came up here to escape the torrent. On looking round the sky for confirmation of the bird's instinct, he saw dark clouds gathering everywhere and in a manner that to his shepherd's eye betokened rain. The bird seems a little impatient with the clouds for not breaking, he continued, and at that moment the bird turned sharply from the rock on which he was about to alight, and Jesus, divining a cause for the change of intention, sought behind the rock for it and found it in a man lying there with foam upon his lips. He seemed to Jesus like one returning to himself out of a great swoon, and helping him to his feet Jesus seated him on a rock. In a little while, Paul said, I shall be able to continue my journey. Thou'rt Jesus whom I left speaking in the cenoby. Give me a little water to drink. I forgot to fill the bottle before I left the brook, Jesus answered. There is a little left, but not the fresh water that I would like to give thee, Paul, but water from overnight. It matters not, Paul said, and having drunk a little and bathed his temples, Paul asked Jesus to help him to his feet, but after a few yards he tottered into Jesus' arms and had to rest again, and while resting he said: I rushed out of the cenoby, for I felt the swoon was nigh upon me. I am sorry to have interrupted thy discourse, he added, but refrain from repeating any of it, for my brain is too tired to listen to thee. Thou'lt understand the weakness of a sick man and pardon me. Now I'm beginning to remember. I had a promise from thee to lead me out of this desert. Yes, Paul, I promised to guide thee to Cæsarea---- But I rushed away, Paul said, and thou hast followed me, knowing well that I should not find my way alone to Cæsarea. I should have missed it and perhaps fallen into the hands of the Jews or fallen over the precipice and become food for vultures. Now my strength is coming back to me, but without thee I shall not find my way out of the desert. Fear nothing, Paul, I shall not leave thee till I have seen thee safely on thy way to Cæsarea or within sight of that city. Thou hast come to guide me? Paul asked, looking up. Yes, to guide thee, Paul, to accompany thee to Cæsarea, if not all the way the greater part of it, Jesus answered. Thou'lt sleep to-morrow at a village about two hours from Cæsarea, and there we shall part. But be not afraid. I'll not leave thee till thou'rt safe out of reach of the Jews. But I must be at Cæsarea to-morrow, Paul said, or else my mission to Italy and Spain will be delayed, perhaps forfeited. My mission to Spain, dost hear me? Do not speak of thy mission now, Jesus answered, for he was afraid lest a discussion might spring up between him and Paul, and he was glad when Paul asked him how it was he had come upon him in this great wilderness. He asked Jesus if he had traced his footsteps in the sand, or if an angel had guided him. My eyes are not young enough to follow footsteps in the sand, Jesus replied, and I saw no angel, but a bird turned aside from the rock on which he was about to alight abruptly, and going to seek the cause of it I found thee.... Now if thy strength be coming back we will try to walk a little farther.

I'll lean on thee, and then, just as if Paul felt that Jesus might tell him once again that he was Jesus of Nazareth whom Pilate had condemned to the cross, he began to put questions: was Jesus sure that it was not an angel disguised as a bird that had directed him? Jesus could only answer that as far as he knew the bird was a bird and no more. But birds and angels are alike contained within the will of God; whereupon Paul invited Jesus to speak of the angels that doubtless alighted among the rocks and conversed with the Essenes without fear of falling into sin, there being no women in the cenoby. But in the churches and synagogues it was different, and he had always taught that women must be careful to cover their hair under veils lest angels might be tempted. For the soiled angel, he explained, is unable to return to heaven, and therefore passes into the bodies of men and women and becomes a demon, and when the soiled angel can find neither men nor women to descend into they abide in animals, and become arch demons.

Paul, who had seemed to Jesus to have recovered a great part of his strength, spoke with great volubility and vehemence, saying that angels were but the messengers of God, and to carry on the work of the world God must have messengers, but angels had no power to carry messages from man back to God. There was but one Mediator, and he was on the point of saying that this Mediator was Jesus Christ our Lord, but he checked himself, and said instead that the power to perform miracles was not transmitted from God to man by means of angels. Angels, he continued, were no more than God's messengers, and he related that when he had shed a mist and darkness over the eyes of Elymas, the sooth-sayer in Cyprus, he had received the power to do so direct from God; he affirmed too, and in great earnestness, that it was not an angel but God himself that had prompted him to tell the cripple at Iconium to stand upright on his feet; he had been warned in a vision not to go into Bithynia; and at Troas a man had appeared to him in the night and ordered him to come over to Macedonia, which was his country; he did not know if the man was a real man in the flesh or the spirit of a man who had lived in the flesh: but he was not an angel. Of that Paul was sure and certain; then he related how he had taken ship and sailed to Samothrace, and next day to Neopolis, and the next day to Philippi, and how in the city of Thyatira he had bidden a demon depart out of a certain damsel who brought her master much gain by soothsaying. And for doing this he had been cast into prison. He knew not of angels, and it was an earthquake that caused the prison doors to open and not an angel. Peter had met angels, but he, Paul, had never met one, he knew naught of angels, except the terrible Kosmokratores, the rulers of this world, the planetary spirits of the Chaldeans, and he feared angel worship, and had spoken to the Colossians against it, saying: remember there is always but one Mediator between God and man, Jesus Christ our Lord, who came to deliver us from those usurping powers and their chief, the Prince of the Powers of the Air. They it was, as he had told the Corinthians, that crucified the Lord of glory. But perhaps even they may be saved, for they knew not what they did.

Jesus was afraid that Paul's vehemence would carry him on into another fit like the one that he had just come out of, and he was glad to meet a shepherd, who passed his water-bottle to Paul. Fill thy bottle from mine, the shepherd said to Jesus, and there is half-a-loaf of bread in my wallet which I'd like thee to have to share with thy traveller in the morning, else he will not be able to begin the journey again. Nay, do not fear to take it, he said, my wife'll have prepared supper for me. Jesus took the bread and bade his mate farewell. There is a cave, Paul, Jesus said, in yonder valley which we can make safe against wolves and panthers. Lean on my arm. Thy head is still a trouble; drink a little more water. See, the shepherd has given me half-a-loaf, which we will share in the morning. Come, the cave is not far: in yon valley. Paul raised his eyes, and they reasoned with vague, pathetic appeal, for at that moment Jesus was the stronger. Since it must be so, I'll try, he said, and he tottered, leaning heavily on Jesus for what seemed to him a long way and then stopped. I can go no farther; thou wouldst do well to leave me to the hyenas. Go thy way. But Jesus continued to encourage him, saying that the cave in which they were to rest was at the end of the valley, and when Paul asked how many yards distant, he did not answer the exact distance, but halved it, so that Paul might be heartened and encouraged, and when the distance mentioned had been traversed and the cave was still far away he bore with Paul's reproaches and answered them with kindly voice: we shall soon be there, another few steps will bring us into it, and it isn't a long valley; only a gutter, Paul answered, the way the rains have worn through the centuries. A strange desert, the strangest we have seen yet, and I have travelled a thousand leagues but never seen one so melancholy. I like better the great desert. I have lived all my life among these hills, Jesus replied, and to my eyes they have lost their melancholy.

All thy life in these deserts, Paul replied eagerly, and his manner softened and became almost winning. Thou'lt forgive, he said, any abruptness there may have been in my speech, I am speaking differently from my wont, but to-morrow I shall be in health and able to follow thee and to listen with interest to thy tales of shepherding among these hills of which thou must know a goodly number. My speech is improving, isn't it? answer me. Jesus answered that he understood Paul very well; and could tell him many stories of flocks, pillaging by robbers and fights between brave Thracian dogs and wolves, and if such stories interested Paul he could relate them. But here is our cave, he said, pointing to a passage between the rocks. We must go down on our hands and knees to enter it; and in answer to Paul, who was anxious to know the depth of the cave, Jesus averred that he only knew the cave through having once looked into it. The caves we know best are the vast caves into which the shepherd can gather his flocks, trusting to his dogs to scent the approach of a wild animal and to awaken him. Go first and I'll follow thee, and Jesus crawled till the rocks opened above him and he stood up in what Paul described as a bowel in the mountain; a long cave it was, surely, twisting for miles through the darkness, and especially evil-smelling, Paul said. Because of the bats, Jesus answered, and looking up they saw the vermin hanging among the clefts, a sort of hideous fruit, measuring three feet from wing to wing, Paul muttered, and as large as rats. We shall see them drop from their roosts as the sky darkens and flit away in search of food, Jesus said. Paul asked what food they could find in the desert, and Jesus answered: we are not many miles from Jericho and these winged rats travel a long way. In Brook Kerith they are destructive among our figs; we take many in traps. Our rule forbids us to take life, but we cannot lose all our figs. I've often wondered why we hesitate to light bundles of damp straw in these caves, for that is the way to reduce the multitudes, which are worse than the locusts, for they are eaten; and Jesus told stories of the locust-eating hermits he had known, omitting, however, all mention of the Baptist, so afraid was he lest he might provoke Paul into disputation. See, he said, that great fellow clinging to that ledge, he is beginning to be conscious of the sun setting, and a moment after the bat flopped away, passing close over their heads into the evening air, followed soon after by dozens of male and female and many half-grown bats that were a few months before on the dug, a stinking colony, that the wayfarers were glad to be rid of. But they'll be in and out the whole night, Jesus said, and I know of no other cave within reach where we can sleep safely. Sometimes the wild cats come after them and then there is much squealing. But think no more of them. I will roll up my sheepskin for a pillow for thee, and sleep as well as thou mayest, comrade, for to-morrow's march is a long one.

CHAP. XXXIX.

It was as Jesus had said, the bats kept coming in and going out all the night through, and their squeakings as they settled themselves to sleep a little before dawn awakened Paul, who, lifting his head from the sheepskin that Jesus had rolled into a comfortable pillow for him, spied Jesus asleep in a corner, and he began to ask himself if he should awaken Jesus or let him sleep a little while longer. But myself, he said, must escape from the stifle of this cave and the reek of the bats, and, dropping on his hands and knees, he crawled into the air.

It was a great joy to draw the pure air into his lungs, to drink a deep draught, and to look round for a wild cat. One may be lurking, he said, impatient for our departure, and as soon as we go will creep in and spring among the roosts and carry off the flopping, squeaking morsel. But if a cat had been there licking her fur, waiting for the tiresome wayfarers to depart, she would have remained undiscovered to Paul's eyes, so thick was the shadow, and it was a long time before the valley lengthened out and the rocks reassumed their different shapes.

He was in a long narrow valley between steep hills, with a path zigzagging up the hillside at the farther end, among rocks that set Paul thinking of the little that would remain of his sandals before they reached Cæsarea.

A long day's march of twelve or thirteen hours lay before him, one that he would have been able to undertake in the old days without a thought of failure, but it was over and above his strength to-day. But was it? It seemed to him that he could walk a long way if the present breeze that had come up with the day were to continue. It came up the valley, delicious as spring water, but suddenly he recognised in it the smell of a wild animal; the sour smell of wolves, he said to himself, and looking among the rocks he spied two large wolves not more than fifty yards distant. It is fortunate, he said, that the wind is blowing from them to me, else they would have scented me; and Paul watched the lolloping gait of the wolves till they were out of sight, and then descending from the rock he returned to the cave, thinking he had done wrong to leave it, for he had entrusted himself to Jesus, and perforce to clear his conscience had to confide to him he had been out in the valley and seen two wolves go by. But they did not scent me, the wind being unfavourable. If they had, and been hungry, it might have gone hard with thee, Jesus said, and then he spoke of Bethennabrio, a village within a dozen miles of Cæsarea in which Paul would sleep that night. Thou canst not get to Cæsarea to-night, Jesus affirmed to him, and they resumed their journey through a country that seemed to grow more arid and melancholy as they advanced.

Paul complained often that he had come by a more direct and a better way with Timothy, but Jesus insisted that the way they were going was not many miles longer than the way Paul had come by. Moreover, the way he was taking was safer to follow. The Jews of Jericho had had many hours in which to lay plans for his capture, but Jesus thought that if Paul would believe in him he would be able to get him in safety to the village of Bethennabrio, where Paul thought he would be safe; the Jews would not dare to arrest a Roman prisoner, one who had been ordered by Festus to Italy to receive Cæsar's judgment within a few miles of Cæsarea. Thou'lt be within two hours of Cæsarea, Jesus said, and can look forward to seeing your comrade Timothy the next day. Jesus' words brought comfort to Paul's heart and helped him to forget his feet that were beginning to pain him. But a long distance would still have to be traversed, and his eyes wandered over the outlines of the round-backed hills divided by steep valleys, so much alike that he asked himself how it was that Jesus could distinguish one from the other; but his guide seemed to divine the way as by instinct, and Paul struggled on, encouraged by a promise of a half-hour's rest as soon as they reached the summit of the hill before them. But no sooner had they reached it than Jesus said, come behind this rock and hide thyself quickly. And when he was safely hidden Jesus said, now peep over the top and thou'lt see a shepherd leading his sheep along the hillside. What of that? Paul answered, and Jesus said, not much, only I am thinking whether it would be well to let him go his way without putting a question to him, or whether it would be better to leave thee here while I go to him with the intention of finding out from him if there be tidings going about that one Paul of Tarsus, a spreader of great heresies, a pestilential fellow, a stirrer-up of sedition, has been seen wandering, trying to find his way back to Cæsarea.

The shepherd was passing away over the crest of the hill when Jesus said, the pretext will come to me on my way to him. Do thou abide here till I return, and Paul watched him running, lurching from side to side over the rough ground towards the shepherd, still far away. Will he overtake him before he passes out of sight and hearing? he asked himself.

The sheep were running merrily, and the breeze carried down to Paul's ear the sound of the pipe, setting him thinking of the Patriarchs and then of his guide; only mad, he said, in one corner of his brain, convinced that he returned to the Essenes because he had said in Jerusalem that he was the Messiah. A strange blasphemy, he muttered, and yet not strange enough to save the brethren from the infection of it. It would seem that they believe with him that he suffered under Pilate, without knowing, however, for what crime he was punished; and a terrible curiosity arose in Paul to learn the true story of his guide's life, who, he judged, might be led into telling it if care were taken not to arouse his suspicion. But these madmen are full of cunning, he said to himself, and when Jesus returned Paul asked if he had discovered from the shepherd if an order was abroad from Jericho to arrest two itinerant preachers on their way to Cæsarea. Jesus answered him that he had put no direct question to the shepherd. He had talked to him of the prospect of future rains, and we were both agreed, Jesus said, that the sky looked like rain, and he told me we should find water in the valley collected in pools among the rocks; he mentioned one by a group of fig-trees which we could not miss seeing. Thou art safe, Paul, have no fear for thy safe arrival at Cæsarea at midday to-morrow. If a search had been ordered to arrest two wayfarers my shepherd would have heard of it, for it was about here that they would try to intercept us, and we shall do well to turn into a path that they will overlook even if they have sent out agents in pursuit of thee and Timothy.

CHAP. XL.

By midday they reached a region more rugged than the one they had come out of. The path they followed zigzagged up steep ascents and descended into crumbling valleys and plains filled with split stones, rubble and sand, a desert truly, without sign of a living thing till the shadow of an eagle's wings passed over the hot stones. Jesus told Paul that the birds nested up among the clefts yonder and were most destructive in the spring when the ewes were lambing. Having to feed three or four eaglets, he said, the birds would descend on the flocks, the she-eagle, the larger, stronger and fiercer, will attack and drive off even the dog that does not fear a wolf, yet I have seen, he continued, a timid ewe, her youngling behind her in a coign in the hill, face the bird fiercely and butt it till she lost her eyes, poor ewe, for I came up too late with my staff. And the lamb? Paul inquired: was far away, Jesus answered, aloft among the eaglets.

Jesus had stories of wolves and hyenas to beguile the way with, and he pointed with his staff to the narrow paths above them up which they would have to climb. But be not discouraged, he said, we shall be in a better country presently; as soon as we pass the hill yonder we shall begin to descend into the plain, another three leagues beyond yon hill we shall be where we bid each other farewell. Paul answered he was leaving Palestine for ever. His way was first to Italy and then to Spain and afterwards his life would be over, his mission fulfilled, but he was glad to have been to Jericho to have seen the Jordan, the river in which John had baptized Jesus. He was sorry now when it was too late that he had never been to Galilee, and Jesus told of wooded hills rising gently from the lake shore, and he took pleasure in relating the town of Magdala and the house of Dan of Arimathea, Joseph's father, and the great industry he had established there; he continued talking, showing such an intimate and personal knowledge of Galilee that Paul could not doubt that he was what he professed to be, a Nazarene. There were hundreds of Nazarenes, many of which were called Jesus: but there was only one Jesus of Nazareth. He did not say this to Jesus; but after Jesus had asked him how it was that he who had travelled the world over had never turned into Galilee, he replied that the human life of Jesus in Galilee concerned him not at all and his teaching very little. He taught all the virtues, but these were known to humanity from the beginning; they are in the law that God revealed to Moses. Even pagans know of them. The Greeks have expounded them excellently well. A teacher Jesus was and a great teacher, but far more important was the fact that God had raised him from the dead, thereby placing him above all the prophets and near to God himself. So I have always taught that if Jesus were not raised from the dead our teaching is vain. A miracle, he said, and he looked into Jesus' face just as if he suspected him to be thinking that something more than a miracle was needed to convince the world of the truth of Paul's doctrine. A miracle, to the truth of which more than five hundred have already testified. First he appeared to Mary and Martha, afterwards to Cleophas and Khuza. On the way to Emmaus he stayed and supped with them and afterwards he appeared to the twelve. Hast met all the twelve and consulted with them? Jesus asked, and Paul, a little irritated by the interruption, answered that he had seen Peter and John and James and Philip but he knew not the others; and, of course, James, the brother of the Lord. Tell me about him, Jesus answered. He admits Jesus as a prophet among the others but no more, and observes the law more strictly than any other Jew, a narrow-minded bigot that has opposed my teaching as bitterly as the priests themselves. It was he who, Paul began, but Jesus interrupted and asked about Peter. Where was he? And what doctrine is he preaching? Paul answered that Peter was at Antioch, though why he should choose to live there has always seemed strange to me, for he does not speak Greek. But what trade does he follow? Jesus asked. There are marshes and lakes about Antioch, Paul replied, and these are well stocked with fish, of a quality inferior, however, to those he used to catch in the lake of Gennesaret, but still fish for which there is some sale. He and John own some boats and they ply up and down the marshes, and draw up a living in their nets, a poor and uncertain living I believe it to be, for they are often about telling stories to the faithful of our Lord Jesus Christ, who pay them for their recitals. One is always with them, a woman called Rachel. It is said that she poisoned a rival at a wedding, a girl called Ruth whom Jesus raised from the dead. Ruth went to her husband, but Rachel followed Jesus of Nazareth.... Thou'rt a Galilean, Paul said, and know these stories better than I.

As they walked on together, Paul's thoughts returned to the miracle of his apostleship, received, he said, by me from Jesus Christ our Lord himself on the road to Damascus. Thy brethren have doubtless related the story to thee how in my journey from Jerusalem to Damascus, full of wrath to kill and to punish the saints, I was blinded by a great light from the skies, and out of a cloud Jesus Christ our Lord spoke to me: Paul! Paul! he cried, why persecutest thou me? Ever since I have preached that there is but one Mediator between God and man--Christ Jesus our Lord, and if I ran out whilst thou wast telling thy story, crying, he is mad, he is mad! it was because it seemed to me that thou wert speaking by order of the Jews who would ensnare and entrap me or for some other reason. None may divine men's desire of soul, unless an evil spirit has descended into thee I may not divine any reason for thy story. There is some mistake that none would regret more than thou, for thou wouldst hear the truth from me this day, thereby gaining everlasting life. Why dost thou not answer me, Jesus? Because thou'rt waiting to hear from me the words that our Lord Jesus Christ spoke to me? My brethren have told it to me, Jesus answered. And thou believest it not? Paul cried. I believe, Jesus answered, that the Jesus that spake to thee out of a cloud never lived in the flesh; he was a Lord Jesus Christ of thy own imagining, and I believe, too, that if we had met in Galilee thou wouldst not have heeded me, and thou wouldst have done well, for in Galilee I was but a seeker; go thou and seek and be not always satisfied with what first comes to thy hand.

These words provoked a great rage in Paul, and believing Jesus to be an evil spirit come to tempt him, he turned fiercely upon him, threatening him with his staff, bidding him begone. But as he could not desert Paul in the wilderness Jesus dropped behind him and directed Paul's journey, bidding him tread here and not there, to avoid the hill in front of him, and to keep along the valley.

In this way they proceeded for about another hour, and then Jesus cried out to Paul: yonder are the fig-trees where the shepherd told me to look for a pool among the rocks after the late rains. Art overcome, Paul, with the long march and the heat? Rest. Let me untie thy sandals. Alas! they are worn through and will scarce carry thee into Bethennabrio. But they must carry me thither, Paul answered, and if there be water in the pool after we have drunken and filled our water-bottle I'll loose the thongs and bathe my feet.

The season was advanced, but there were still leaves on the fig-trees, and among the rocks some water had collected, and having drunk and filled the water-bottle, Jesus loosed the thongs of Paul's sandals and bound his feet with some bandages torn from his own clothing. He broke the bread that the passing shepherd had given him, but Paul could eat very little so overcome was he with fatigue. I shall try to eat after I have slept a little, and having made his head comfortable with his sheepskin, Jesus watched him doze away.

Soon after the warm rocks brought sleep to Jesus' eyes, and he fell asleep trying to remember that he had nothing more explicit to rely upon than his own declaration (where should it be made, in the streets to the people or in the Sanhedrin to the priests?) that he was Jesus of Nazareth whom Pilate condemned to the cross, only his own words to convince the priests and the people that he was not a shepherd whom the loneliness of the hills had robbed of his senses. He could not bring the Essenes as testimony, nor could they if they came vouch for the whole truth of his story.

CHAP. XLI.

Hast slept well, Paul, and hath sleep refreshed thee and given thee strength to pursue thy journey? Paul answered that he was very weary, but however weary must struggle on to Cæsarea. Thy strength wilt not suffer thee to get farther than Bethennabrio, and to reach Bethennabrio I must make thy sandals comfortable, Jesus answered, and on these words he knelt and succeeded in arranging the thongs so that Paul walked without pain.