Chapter XIII: Palace, Uganda--Continued (2)

On arriving at the mooring station, not one boat was to be found, nor did any arrive until after dark, when, on the beating of drums and firing of guns, some fifty large ones appeared. They were all painted with red clay, and averaged from ten to thirty paddles, with long prows standing out like the neck of a syphon or swan, decorated on the head with the horns of the Nsunnu (lencotis) antelope, between which was stuck upright a tuft of feathers exactly like a grenadier's plume. These arrived to convey us across the mouth of a deep rushy swamp to the royal yachting establishment, the Cowes of Uganda, distant five hours' travelling from the palace. We reached the Cowes by torchlight at 9 p.m., when the king had a picnic dinner with me, turned in with his women in great comfort, and sent me off to a dreary hut, where I had to sleep upon a grass-strew floor. I was surprised we had to walk so far, when, by appearance, we might have boated it from the head of the creek all the way down; but, on inquiry, was informed of the swampy nature of the ground at the head of the creek precluded any approach to the clear water there, and hence the long overland journey, which, though fatiguing to the unfortunate women, who had to trot the whole way behind Mtesa's four-mile-an-hour strides, was very amusing. The whole of the scenery--hill, dale, and lake--was extremely beautiful. The Wanguana in my escort compared the view to their own beautiful Poani (coast); but in my opinion it far surpassed anything I ever saw, either from the sea or upon the coast of Zanzibar.

The king rose betimes in the morning and called me, unwashed and very uncomfortable, to picnic with him, during the collection of the boats. The breakfast, eaten in the open court, consisted of sundry baskets of roast-beef and plantain-squash, folded in plantain-leaves. He sometimes ate with a copper knife and picker, not forked--but more usually like a dog, with both hands. The bits too tough for his mastication he would take from his mouth and give as a treat to the pages, who n'yanzigged, and swallowed them with much seeming relish. Whatever remained over was then divided by the boys, and the baskets taken to the cooks. Pombe served as tea, coffee, and beer for the king; but his guests might think themselves very lucky if they ever got a drop of it.

Now for the lake. Everybody in a hurry falls into his place the best way he can--Wakungu leading, and women behind. They rattle along, through plantains and shrubs, under large trees, seven, eight, and nine feet in diameter, till the beautiful waters are reached--a picture of the Rio scenery, barring that of the higher mountains in the background of that lovely place, which are here represented by the most beautiful little hills. A band of fifteen drums of all sizes, called the Mazaguzo, playing with the regularity of a lot of factory engines at work, announced the king's arrival, and brought all the boats to the shore--but not as in England, where Jack, with all the consequence of a lord at home, invites the ladies to be seated, and enjoys the sight of so many pretty faces. Here every poor fellow, with his apprehensions written in his face, leaps over the gunwale into the water--ducking his head for fear of being accused of gazing on the fair sex, which is death--and bides patiently his time. They were dressed in plantain leaves, looking like grotesque Neptunes. The king, in his red coat and wideawake, conducted the arrangements, ordering all to their proper places--the women, in certain boats, the Wakungu and Wanguana in others, whilst I sat in the same boat with him at his feet, three women holding mbugus of pombe behind. The king's Kisuahali now came into play, and he was prompt in carrying out the directions he got from myself to approach the hippopotami. But the waters were too large and the animals too shy, so we toiled all the day without any effect, going only once ashore to picnic; not for the women to eat--for they, poor things, got nothing--but the king, myself, the pages, and the principal Wakungu. As a wind-up to the day's amusement, the king led the band of drums, changed the men according to their powers, put them into concert pitch, and readily detected every slight irregularity, showing himself a thorough musician.

This day requires no remark, everything done being the counterpart of yesterday, excepting that the king, growing bolder with me in consequence of our talking together, became more playful and familiar--amusing himself, for instance, sometimes by catching hold of my beard as the rolling of the boat unsteadied him.

We started early in the usual manner; but after working up and down the creek, inspecting the inlets for hippopotami, and tiring from want of sport, the king changed his tactics, and, paddling and steering himself with a pair of new white paddles, finally directing the boats to an island occupied by the Mgussa, or Neptune of the N'yanza, not in person--for Mgussa is a spirit--but by his familiar or deputy, the great medium who communicates the secrets of the deep to the king of Uganda. In another sense, he might be said to be the presiding priest of the source of the mighty Nile, and as such was, of course, an interesting person for me to meet. The first operation on shore was picnicking, when many large bugus of pombe were brought for the king; next, the whole party took a walk, winking through the trees, and picking fruit, enjoying themselves amazingly, till, by some unlucky chance, one of the royal wives, a most charming creature, and truly one of the best of the lot, plucked a fruit and offered it to the king, thinking, doubtless, to please him greatly; but he, like a madman, flew into a towering passion, said it was the first time a woman ever had the impudence to offer him anything, and ordered the pages to seize, bind, and lead her off to execution.

These words were no sooner uttered by the king than the whole bevy of pages slipped their cord turbans from their heads, and rushed, like a pack of cupid beagles upon the fairy queen, who, indignant at the little urchins daring to touch her majesty, remonstrated with the king, and tried to beat them off like flies, but was soon captured, overcome, and dragged away, crying, in the names of the Kamraviona and Mzungu (myself), for help and protection; whilst Lubuga, the pet sister, and all the other women, clasped the king by his legs, and, kneeling, implored forgiveness for their sister. The more they craved for mercy, the more brutal he became, till at last he took a heavy stick and began to belabour the poor victim on the head.

Hitherto I had been extremely careful not to interfere with any of the king's acts of arbitrary cruelty, knowing that such interference, at an early stage, would produce more harm than good. This last act of barbarism, however, was too much for my English blood to stand; and as I heard my name, Mzungu, imploringly pronounced, I rushed at the king, and, staying his uplifted arm, demanded from him the woman's life. Of course I ran imminent risk of losing my own in thus thwarting the capricious tyrant; but his caprice proved the friend of both. The novelty of interference even made him smile, and the woman was instantly released.

Proceeding on through the trees of this beautiful island, we next turned into the hut of the Mgussa's familiar, which at the farther end was decorated with many mystic symbols amongst others a paddle, the badge of his high office--and for some time we sat chatting, when pombe was brought, and the spiritual medium arrived. He was dressed Wichwezi fashion, with a little white goat-skin apron, adorned with numerous charms, and used a paddle for a mace or walking stick. He was not an old man, though he affected to be so--walking very slowly and deliberately, coughing asthmatically, glimmering with his eyes, and mumbling like a witch. With much affected difficulty he sat at the end of the hut beside the symbols alluded to, and continued his coughing full half an hour, when his wife came in in the same manner, without saying a word, and assumed the same affected style. The king jokingly looked at me and laughed, and then at these strange creatures, by turn, as much as to say, What do you think of them? but no voice was heard save that of the old wife, who croaked like a frog for water, and, when some was brought, croaked again because it was not the purest of the lake's produce--had the first cup changed, wetted her lips with the second, and hobbled away in the same manner as she came.

At this juncture the Mgussa's familiar motioned the Kamraviona and several officers to draw around him, when, in a very low tone, he gave them all the orders of the deep, and walked away. His revelations seemed unpropitious, for we immediately repaired to our boats and returned to our quarters. Here we no sooner arrived than a host of Wakungu, lately returned from the Unyoro war, came to pay their respects to the king: they had returned six days or more, but etiquette had forbidden their approaching majesty sooner. Their successes had been great, their losses, nil, for not one man had lost his life fighting. To these men the king narrated all the adventures of the day; dwelling more particularly on my defending his wife's life, whom he had destined for execution. This was highly approved of by all; and they unanimously said Bana knew what he was about, because he dispenses justice like a king in his own country.

Early in the morning a great hue and cry was made because the Wanguana had been seen bathing in the N'yanza naked, without the slightest regard to decency. We went boating as usual all day long, sometimes after hippopotami, at others racing up and down the lake, the king and Wakungu paddling and steering by turns, the only break to this fatigue being when we went ashore to picnic, or the king took a turn at the drums. During the evening some of the principal Wakungu were collected to listen to an intellectual discourse on the peculiarities of the different women in the royal establishment, and the king in good-honour described the benefits he had derived from this pleasant tour on the water.

Whilst I was preparing my Massey's log to show the use of it to the king, he went off boating without me; and as the few remaining boats would not take me off because they had received no orders to do so, I fired guns, but, getting no reply, went into the country hoping to find game; but, disappointed in that also, I spent the first half of the day with a hospitable old lady, who treated us to the last drop of pombe in her house--for the king's servants had robbed her of nearly everything--smoked her pipe with me, and chatted incessantly on the honour paid her by the white king's visit, as well as of the horrors of Uganda punishment, when my servants told her I saved the life of one queen. Returning homewards, the afternoon was spent at a hospitable officer's, who would not allow us to depart until my men were all fuddled with pombe, and the evening setting in warned us to wend our way. On arrival at camp, the king, quite shocked with himself for having deserted me, asked me if I did not hear his guns fire. He had sent twenty officers to scour the country, looking for me everywhere. He had been on the lake the whole day himself, and was now amusing his officers with a little archery practice, even using the bow himself, and making them shoot by turns. A lucky shot brought forth immense applause, all jumping and n'yanzigging with delight, whether it was done by their own bows or the king's.

A shield was the mark, stuck up at only thirty paces; still they were such bad shots that they hardly ever hit it. Now tired of this slow sport, and to show his superior prowess, the king ordered sixteen shields to be placed before him, one in front of the other, and with one shot from Whitworth pierced the whole of them, the bullet passing through the bosses of nearly every one. "Ah!" says the king, strutting about with gigantic strides, and brandishing the rifle over his head before all his men, "what is the use of spears and bows? I shall never fight with anything but guns in the future." These Wakungu, having only just then returned from plundering Unyoro, had never before seen their king in a chair, or anybody sitting, as I was, by his side; and it being foreign to their notions, as well as, perhaps, unpleasant to their feelings, to find a stranger sitting higher than themselves, they complained against this outrage to custom, and induced the king to order my dethronement. The result was, as my iron stool was objectionable, I stood for a moment to see that I thoroughly understood their meaning; and then showing them my back, walked straightway home to make a grass throne, and dodge them that way.

There was nothing for dinner last night, nothing again this morning, yet no one would go in to report this fact, as rain was falling, and the king was shut up with his women. Presently the thought struck me that the rifle, which was always infallible in gaining me admittance at the palace, might be of the same service now. I therefore shot a dove close to the royal abode, and, as I expected, roused the king at once, who sent his pages to know what the firing was about. When told the truth--that I had been trying to shoot a dish of doves for breakfast, as I could get neither meat nor drink from his kitchen--the head boy, rather guessing than understanding what was told him, distorted my message, and said to the king, as I could not obtain a regular supply of food from his house, I did not wish to accept anything further at his hands, but intended foraging for the future in the jungles. The king, as might be imagined, did not believe the boy's story, and sent other pages to ascertain the truth of the case, bidding them listen well, and beware of what they were about. This second lot of boys conveyed the story rightly, when the king sent me a cow. As I afterwards heard, he cut off the ears of the unfortunate little mischief-maker for not making a proper use of those organs; and then, as the lad was the son of one of his own officers he was sent home to have the sores healed. After breakfast the king called me to go boating, when I used my grass throne, to the annoyance of the attendants. This induced the king to say before them, laughing, "Bana, you see, is not to be done; he is accustomed to sit before kings, and sit he will." Then by way of a change, he ordered all the drums to embark and play upon the waters; whilst he and his attendants paddled and steered by turns, first up the creek, and then down nearly to the broad waters of the lake.

There was a passage this way, it was said, leading up to Usoga, but very circuitous, on account of reefs or shoals, and on the way the Kitiri island was passed; but no other Kitiri was known to the Waganda, though boats went sometimes coasting down the western side of the lake to Ukerewe. The largest island on the lake is the Sese, [20] off the mouth of the Katonga river, where another of the high priests of the Neptune of the N'yanza resides. The king's largest vessels are kept there, and it is famous for its supply of mbugu barks. We next went on shore to picnic, when a young hippopotamus, speared by harpoon, one pig, and a pongo or bush-boc, were presented to the king. I now advised boat-racing, which was duly ordered, and afforded much amusement as the whole fifty boats formed in line, and paddle furiously to the beat of drum to the goal which I indicated.

The day was done. In great glee the king, ever much attached to the blackguard Maula, in consequence of his amusing stories, appointed him to the office of seizer, or chief kidnapper of Wakungu; observing that, after the return of so many officers from war, much business in that line would naturally have to be done, and there was none so trustworthy now at court to carry out the king's orders. All now went to the camp; but what was my astonishment on reaching the hut to find every servant gone, along with the pots, pans, meat, everything; and all in consequence of the king's having taken the drums on board, which, being unusual, was regarded as one of his delusive tricks, and a sign of immediate departure. He had told no one he was going to the N'yanza, and now it was thought he would return in the same way. I fired for my supper, but fired in vain. Boys came out, by the king's order to inquire what I wanted, but left again without doing anything further.

At my request the king sent off boats to inquire after the one that left, or was supposed to have left, for Grant on the 3d of March, and he then ordered the return home, much to my delight; for, beautiful as the N'yanza was, the want of consideration for other people's comfort, the tiring, incessant boating, all day long and every day, in the sun, as well as the king's hurry-scurry about everything he undertook to do, without the smallest forethought, preparation, or warning, made me dream of my children, and look forward with pleasure to rejoining them. Strange as it may appear to Englishmen, I had a sort of paternal love for those little blackamoors as if they had been my offspring; and I enjoyed the simple stories that their sable visitors told me every day they came over to smoke their pipes, which they did with the utmost familiarity, helping themselves from my stores just as they liked.

Without any breakfast, we returned by the same route by which we had come, at four miles an hour, till half the way was cleared, when the king said, laughing, "Bana, are you hungry?"--a ridiculous question after twenty-four hours of starvation, which he knew full well--and led the way into a plantain-grove, where the first hut that was found was turned inside out for the king's accommodation, and picnic was prepared. As, however, he ordered my portion to be given outside with the pages', and allowed neither pombe or water, I gave him the slip, and walked hurriedly home, where I found Kahala smirking, and apparently glad to see us, but Meri shamming ill in bed, whilst Manamaka, the governess, was full of smiles and conversation. She declared Meri had neither tasted food or slept since my departure, but had been retching all the time. Dreadfully concerned at the doleful story I immediately thought of giving relief with medicines, but neither pulse, tongue, nor anything else indicated the slightest disorder; and to add to these troubles, Ilmas's woman had tried during my absence to hang herself, because she would not serve as servant but wished to be my wife; and Bombay's wife, after taking a doze of quinine, was delivered of a still-born child.

1st.--I visited the king, at his request, with the medicine-chest. He had caught a cold. He showed me several of his women grievously affected with boils, and expected me to cure them at once. I then went home, and found twenty men who had passed Grant, coming on a stretcher from Karague, without any of the rear property. Meri, still persistent, rejected strengthening medicines, but said, in a confidential manner, if I would give her a goat to sacrifice to the Uganga she would recover in no time. There was something in her manner when she said this that I did not like--it looked suspicious; and I contented myself by saying, "No, I am a wiser doctor than any in these lands; if anybody could cure you, that person is myself: and further, if I gave you a goat to sacrifice, God would be angry with both of us for our superstitious credulity; you must therefore say no more about it."

2d.--The whole country around the palace was in a state of commotion to-day, from Maula and his children hunting down those officers who had returned from the war, yet had not paid their respects to the king at the N'yanza, because they thought they would not be justified in calling on him so quickly after their arrival. Maula's house, in consequence of this, was full of beef and pombe; whilst, in his courtyard, men, women, and children, with feet in stocks, very like the old parish stocks in England, waited his pleasure, to see what demands he would make upon them as the price of their release. After anxiously watching, I found out that Meri was angry with me for not allowing Ilmas's woman to live in my house; and, to conquer my resolution against it--although I ordered it with a view to please Ilmas, for he was desperately in love with her--she made herself sick by putting her finger down her throat. I scolded her for her obstinacy. She said she was ill--it was not feigned; and if I would give her a goat to sacrifice she would be well at once; for she had looked into the magic horn already, and discovered that if I have her a goat for that purpose it would prove that I loved her, and her health would be restored to her at once. Hallo! Here was a transformation from the paternal position into that of a henpecked husband! Somebody, I smelt at once, had been tampering with my household whilst I was away. I commenced investigations, and after a while found out that Rozaro's sister had brought a magician belonging to her family into the hut during my absence, who had put Meri up to this trick of extorting a goat from me, in order that he might benefit by it himself, for the magician eats the sacrifice, and keeps the skin.

I immediately ordered him to be seized and bound to the flag-staff, whilst Maula, Uledi, Rozaro, and Bombay were summoned to witness the process of investigation. Rozaro flew into a passion, and tried to release the magician as soon as he saw him, affecting intense indignation that I should take the law into my own hands when one of Rumanika's subjects was accused; but only lost his dignity still more on being told he had acknowledged his inability to control his men so often when they had misbehaved, that I scorned to ask his assistance any longer. He took huff at this, and, as he could not help himself, walked away, leaving us to do as we liked. The charge was fully proved. The impudent magician, without leave, and contrary to all the usages of the country, had entered and set my house against itself during my absence, and had schemed to rob me of a goat. I therefore sentenced him to fifty lashes--twenty-five for the injury he had inflicted on my by working up a rebellion in my house, and the remaining twenty-five for attempting larceny--saying, as he had wanted my goat and its skin, so now in return I wanted his skin. These words were no sooner pronounced than the wretched Meri cried out against it, saying all the fault was hers: "Let the stick skin my back, but spare my doctor; it would kill me to see him touched."

This appeal let me see that there was something in the whole matter too deep and intricate to be remedied by my skill. I therefore dismissed her on the spot, and gave her, as a sister and free woman, to Uledi and his pretty Mhmula wife, giving Bombay orders to carry the sentences into execution. After walking about till after dark, on returning to the empty house, I had some misgivings as to the apparent cruelty of abandoning one so helpless to the uncertainties of this wicked world. Ilmas's woman also ran away, doubtless at the instigation of Rozaro's sister, for she had been denied any further access to the house as being at the bottom of all this mischief.

3d.--I was haunted all night by my fancied cruelty, and in the morning sent its victim, after Uganda fashion, some symbolical presents, including a goat, in token of esteem; a black blanket, as a sign of mourning; a bundle of gundu anklets; and a packet of tobacco, in proof of my forgiveness.