Chapter I: Preface

THE customs of social life need frequent restating and adaptation to new needs. They are customs because they are the best rules of conduct that have been garnered from the experiences of succeeding generations under common conditions.

To know them, to catch their spirit, and to follow them in an intelligent way, without slavish punctiliousness but with careful observance, make one skillful in the art of social intercourse, and at home in any society.

Etiquette will not take the place of character, nor of an accurate knowledge of human nature and the arts of practical life. Given these, however, it will unlock to any man or woman doors of success and profit and real happiness which, without it, would have remained forever closed.

E. B. O.

"We feel 'at home' wherever we know how to conduct
ourselves."

T. L. NICHOLS

CONTENTS

CHAPTER PAGE

I. The Rewards of Etiquette 1

II. Personality 6

III. Family Etiquette 20
Obligations of the Married 20
General Rules of Conduct 26
Table Etiquette 33
Anniversaries 40
The Giving of Presents 41
Intimate Friends 42
Illness in the Home 44
Courtesy to Servants 45

IV. Conversation and Correspondence 48
The Art of Conversation 48
Correspondence 52
Paper 55
Ink 58
Handwriting 58
Sealing, Stamping, and Directing of Envelopes 59
Salutation, Conclusion, and Signature of Letters 66
Letters of Introduction 70
Letters of Recommendation 73
Third-person Letters 74
Informal Invitations and Announcements 74
Letters of Condolence 75
Answering Letters 76

V. Casual Meetings and Calls 78
Greetings and Recognitions 78
Introductions 84
Calls 90
Social Calls of Men 92
First Calls 94

VI. The Personal Card and the Engraved Invitation 96
Form of Card 96
Inscription 97
Titles 100
Use 102
The Engraved Invitation 105
Dining and Party Invitations 108
Wedding Invitations and Announcements 114
Various Announcement Cards 119

VII. Behavior in Public 122

VIII. The Art of Being a Guest 137

IX. Duties of Host and Hostess 145
Breakfasts and Luncheons 148
The Formal Dinner 149
Visits 158
Special Duties of the Country Hostess 161
Public Functions 165

X. Duties of the Chaperon 169

XI. Etiquette of the Marriage Engagement 174
The Proposal 174
Announcement of Engagement 179
Bridal "Showers" 181
The Broken Engagement 183
Preparation for a Wedding 185

XII. The Conduct of a Wedding 194
The Church Wedding 194
The Home Wedding 201
The Wedding Breakfast 204
The Wedding Journey 208
The Wedding Fee 208
Wedding Presents 210
The Country Wedding 212

XIII. Etiquette for Children 214

XIV. Etiquette of Mourning 224

XV. Military, Naval, and Flag Etiquette 231
The Formal Military Wedding 231
Naval and Yachting Usage 232
Etiquette of the Flag 233

INDEX 237

"THE secret of success in society is a certain
heartiness and sympathy. A man who is not happy in the
company cannot find any word in his memory that will
fit the occasion. All his information is a little
impertinent. A man who is happy there finds in every
turn of the conversation equally lucky occasions for
the introduction of that which he has to say. The
favorites of society, and what it calls _whole souls_,
are able men, and of more spirit than wit, who have no
uncomfortable egoism, but who exactly fill the hour
and the company, contented and contenting, at a
marriage or a funeral, a ball or a jury, a water party
or a shooting match."

_Emerson._

THE ETIQUETTE OF TO-DAY