Chapter I: Front Matter

THE EXTRAORDINARY CONFESSIONS OF DIANA PLEASE

HERE “ENGLISHED” FROM THE ORIGINAL SHORTHAND NOTES, IN FRENCH, OF M. LE MARQUIS DE C----, A FRIEND TO WHOM SHE DICTATED THEM,

BY BERNARD CAPES AUTHOR OF “THE LAKE OF WINE,” “PLOTS” ETC. ETC.

METHUEN & CO. 36 ESSEX STREET W.C. LONDON 1904

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTORY I. I MAKE MY DÉBUT II. I AM ABDUCTED III. I ESCAPE IV. I FALL INTO THE HANDS OF A COLLECTOR V. I AM CARRIED AWAY AS A SPECIMEN VI. I AM “PINNED OUT” VII. I AM PUT AWAY IN CAMPHOR VIII. I MEET MR. NOEL DE CRESPIGNY IX. I AM COMMITTED TO THE ---- X. I BEWITCH A MONSTER XI. I ADD THE LAST TOUCH TO A PORTRAIT XII. I AM INFAMOUSLY RETALIATED ON XIII. I AM WOOED TO SELF-DESTRUCTION XIV. I AM RESCUED BY MY MONSTER XV. I BECOME AN INMATE OF “RUPERT’S FOLLY” XVI. I PUT AN END TO ONE FOLLY XVII. I AM CONSIGNED TO A GREEN GRAVE XVIII. I BEGIN ANOTHER FOLLY XIX. I AM MAID MARIAN XX. I PUT AN END TO FOLLY NUMBER TWO XXI. I AM METAMORPHOSED XXII. I RUN ACROSS AN OLD FRIEND XXIII. I AM MADE FORTUNE’S MISTRESS XXIV. I FIND A FRIEND IN NEED XXV. I DECLARE FOR THE KING XXVI. I RENEW AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE XXVII. I KNOW HOW TO WAIT XXVIII. I RETURN TO NAPLES XXIX. I STILL KNOW HOW TO WAIT XXX. I AM JUSTIFIED IN MY POLICY XXXI. I KNOW MY OWN HEART

INTRODUCTORY

“_I am convinced she rivalled, at fifty, the exquisite Diane de Poitiers herself, in the brightness of her wit and the perfection of her form, and might have passed as triumphantly a like test of the marble._”

The Marquis de C---- in his “Foreword.”

If the public seeks any apology for this introduction to it, at a late date, of the extraordinary woman whose self-dictated Memoirs form the staple of the following pages, it must look for it in the references of her contemporaries; it will be far from gathering it from her own autobiography.

Diane Rosemonde de St. Croix (to give her her proper mother-title) considered that she owed to Romance, in a glowing age, what, in a practical one, is conceded by a thousand dull and petty vanities to a vulgar curiosity--her personal reminiscences. She had at least the justification of her qualities, and the good fortune to find, in her latter-day friend, the Marquis de C----, an enthusiastic historian of them. In the question of their appeal, one way or the other, to the English reader, the present transcriber (from the original French notes) must hold himself responsible both for choice and style.

Madame de St. Croix was a “passionist,” as the French called Casanova; and, indeed, she had many points in common with that redoubtable adventurer: an unappeasable vagabondism; a love of letters; an ardent imagination; an incorruptible self-love; and, lastly, what we may term an exotic orthodoxy. If, subscribing to the universal creed which makes man’s soul his fetish, she worshipped an exacting god, she was at least always ready to sacrifice the world to gratify it, and now, no doubt, very logically sings among the angels.

In the matter of her more notorious characteristics, M. de C----, lest her part on earth should suffer misconstruction by the censorious, is so good as to speak with some show of finality. “I deny,” he says, “the title adventuress to my charming and accomplished friend. It is nothing if not misleading. Every day we venture something, for love, for hunger, for ambition. He who deviates from rice and barley-water, venturing on spiced dishes, makes every time an assault on his epigastrium. He who is not content with an ignoble mediocrity, though he do no more than take pains with a letter, is a candidate for fame. And as for love, it does not exist on the highway. Why should it imply distinction to call a man an adventurer, and be invidious to style a woman adventuress? Ulysses dallying in Ææa is surely no more honourable a sight than Godiva traversing Coventry in an adorable deshabille. To have the wide outlook, the catholic sympathy--is that to merit defamation? No, it is to be heroically human. Better sin like an angel, I say, than be a sick devil and virtuous.”

It remains only to mention that the present transcript conducts no further than to the finish of a dramatic period of Madame de St. Croix’s story; and to that, even, at the expense of a considerable lacuna (referred to in its place), which no research has hitherto been successful in filling. It is hoped, however, that, in what is given, enough will be found to interest.

B. C.

[_Note_.--An ingenious etymologist supplies a likely derivation for the “duck-stone,” so often mentioned in the text, from the Slavic _dook_ or _duk_, signifying to spirit away. Accepting this genesis, the duck-stone, given to Mrs. Please by the gypsy, becomes the _dook_, or _bewitching_-stone, and is imbued with whatever virtues our faith or our credulity may suggest.]

THE EXTRAORDINARY CONFESSIONS OF DIANA PLEASE[1]