Chapter I: Preface

The present work has had an extensive circulation in France, the country which we are accustomed to consider as the genial soil of politeness; and the publishers have thought it would be rendering a useful service on this side of the Atlantic to issue a translation of it.

Some foreign visitors in our country, whose own manners have not always given them a right to be censors of others, have very freely told us what we ought _not_ to do; and it will be useful to know from respectable authority, what is done in polished society in Europe, and, of course, what we _ought to do_, in order to avoid all just censure. This object, we are confident, will be more effectually accomplished by the study of the principles and rules contained in the present volume, than by any other of the kind.

By persons who are deemed competent judges in such a case, this little work has been pronounced to be one of the most useful and practical works extant upon the numerous and delicate topics which are discussed in it. We are aware, that a man can no more acquire the ease and elegance of a finished gentleman, by any manual of this kind, than in the fine arts he could become a skilful painter or sculptor by studying books alone, without practice. It is, however, equally true, that the _principles_ of Politeness may be studied, as well as the principles of the arts. At the same time, intercourse with polite society, in other words, _practice_, as in the case of the arts, must do the rest.

The reader will find in this volume some rules founded on customs and usages peculiar to France and other countries, where the Roman Catholic religion is established. But it was thought better to retain them in the work, than to mutilate it, by making such material alterations as would have been occasioned by expunging every thing of that description. In our liberal and tolerant country, these peculiarities will give offence to none; while to many, their novelty, at least, will be interesting.

The Translator.

_Boston, May 6, 1833._

CONTENTS.

PART I.

Page.
Introduction.

Of Propriety of Deportment, and its Advantages xiii

CHAPTER I.

Of Propriety of Conduct in Relation to Religious Duties 1

Sect. 1. Of respectful Deportment at Church ibid.
2. Of religious Propriety in our Intercourse with
the World 6

CHAPTER II.

Of Propriety of Conduct in Relation to Domestic Duties 9

CHAPTER III.

Of Propriety of Conduct in Conjugal and Domestic Relations 12

CHAPTER IV.

Of Propriety as regards one's self 19

Sect. 1. Of the Toilet ibid.
2. Of Reputation 27

CHAPTER V.

Of Propriety in regard to one's Business or Profession 32

Sect. 1. Politeness of Shopkeepers and Customers ibid.
2. Politeness between Persons in Office and the Public 38
3. Politeness of Lawyers and their Clients 39
4. Politeness of Physicians and their Patients 40
5. Politeness of Artists and Authors, and the deference
due to them 42
6. Politeness of Military Men 46
7. Politeness of Ecclesiastics and Females of Religious
Orders; and the deference due to them 48

PART II.

OF PROPRIETY OF DEPORTMENT IN REGARD TO OUR SOCIAL RELATIONS.

CHAPTER I.

Of Deportment in the Street 50

CHAPTER II.

Of different kinds of Visits 59

CHAPTER III.

Of the Manner of receiving Visitors 75

CHAPTER IV.

Of the Carriage of the Body 82

CHAPTER V.

Of Physical Proprieties in Conversation 88

Sect. 1. Physical Observances in Conversation ibid.
2. Of Gestures 90
3. Of the Talent of listening to others 92
4. Of Pronunciation 97
5. Of Correctness in Speaking 100

CHAPTER VI.

Of the Moral Observances in Conversation 104

Sect. 1. Of Formal and Vulgar Usages ibid.
2. Of Questions and frequently recurring Expressions 110
3. Of Narrations, Analysis, and Digressions 111
4. Of Suppositions and Comparisons 118
5. Of Discussions and Quotations 119
6. Of Pleasantry, Proverbs, Puns, and Bon Mots 121
7. Of Eulogiums, Complainings, Improprieties in general,
and Prejudices 125

CHAPTER VII.

Of Epistolary Composition 130

Sect. 1. Of Propriety in Letter Writing ibid.
2. Of the Interior and Exterior Form of Letters 136

CHAPTER VIII.

Additional Rules in respect to the Social Relations 146

Sect. 1. Of an obliging Deportment ibid.
2. Of Presents 151
3. Of Advice 154
4. Of Discretion 155

CHAPTER IX.

Of Travelling 159

PART III.

OF PROPRIETY IN RELATION TO PLEASURES.

CHAPTER I.

Of Entertainments. 163

CHAPTER II.

Of Promenades, Parties, and Amusements 171

Sect. 1. Of Promenades ibid.
2. Of Parties and Amusements 175
3. Little Sports and Games of Society 180

CHAPTER III.

Of Balls, Concerts, and Public Shows 182

Sect. 1. Of Balls ibid.
2. Of Concerts 188
3. Of Public Shows and Spectacles 189

CHAPTER IV.

Of the Duties of Hospitality 193

PART IV.

OF PROPRIETY AS REGARDS OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES.

CHAPTER I.

Of Marriage and Baptism 196

Sect. 1. Of Marriage ibid.
2. Of Baptism 202

CHAPTER II.

Of Duties toward the Unfortunate 205

Sect. 1. Of Duties toward the Sick, Infirm, and Unfortunate ibid.
2. Of Funerals and Mourning 208