Chapter I: HAVE often thought that the adjectives of the English language were

not sufficiently definite for the purposes of description.

They have but three degrees of comparison—a very insufficient number, certainly, when we consider that they are to be applied to a thousand objects, which, though of the same general class or quality, differ from each other by a thousand different shades or degrees of the same peculiarity. Thus, though there are three hundred and sixty-five days in a year, all of which must, from the nature of things, differ from each other in the matter of climate, we have but half-a-dozen expressions to convey to one another our ideas of this inequality. We say—“It is a fine day;” “It is a _very_ fine day;” “It is the _finest_ day we have seen;” or, “It is an unpleasant day;” “A _very_ unpleasant day;” “The _most_ unpleasant day we ever saw.”

But it is plain that none of these expressions give an _exact_ idea of the nature of the day; and the two superlative expressions are generally untrue. I once heard a gentleman remark, on a rainy, snowy, windy, and (in the ordinary English language) indescribable day, that it was “most preposterous weather.” He came nearer to giving a correct idea of it than he could have done by any ordinary mode of expression; but his description was not sufficiently definite.

Again:—we say of a lady—“She is beautiful;” “She is _very_ beautiful;” or “She is _perfectly_ beautiful;” descriptions which, to one who never saw her, are no descriptions at all, for among thousands of women he has seen, probably no two are equally beautiful; and as to a _perfectly_ beautiful woman, he knows that no such being was ever created—unless by G. P. R. James, for one of the two horsemen to fall in love with, and marry at the end of the second volume.

If I meet Smith in the street, and ask him—as I am pretty sure to do—“How he does?” he infallibly replies, “_Tolerable_, thank you,” which gives one no _exact_ idea of Smith’s health, for he has made the same reply to me on a hundred different occasions, on every one of which there _must_ have been some slight shade of difference in his physical economy, and of course a corresponding change in his feelings.

To a man of a mathematical turn of mind, to a student and lover of the exact sciences, these inaccuracies of expression, this inability to understand _exactly_ how things are, must be a constant source of annoyance; and to one who, like myself, unites this turn of mind to an ardent love of truth, for its own sake,—the reflection that the English language does not enable us to speak the truth with exactness, is peculiarly painful. For this reason I have, with some trouble, made myself thoroughly acquainted with every ancient and modern language, in the hope that I might find some one of them that would enable me to express precisely my ideas; but the same insufficiency of adjectives exist in all except that of the Flathead Indians of Puget Sound, which consists of but forty-six words, mostly nouns, but to the constant use of which exists the objection, that nobody but that tribe can understand it. And as their literary and scientific advancement is not such as to make a residence among them, for a man of my disposition, desirable, I have abandoned the use of their language, in the belief that for me it is _hyas_, _cultus_, or, as the Spaniard hath it, _no me vale nada_.

Despairing, therefore, of making new discoveries in foreign languages, I have set myself seriously to work to reform our own; and have, I think, made an important discovery, which, when developed into a system and universally adopted, will give a precision of expression, and a consequent clearness of idea, that will leave little to be desired, and will, I modestly hope, immortalise my humble name as the promulgator of the truth, and the benefactor of the human race.

Before entering upon my system I will give you an account of its discovery (which perhaps I might with more modesty term an adaptation and enlargement of the idea of another), which will surprise you by its simplicity, and, like the method of standing eggs on end, of Columbus, the inventions of printing, gunpowder, and the mariner’s compass—prove another exemplification of the truth of Hannah More’s beautifully expressed sentiment—

“Large streams from little fountains flow,
Large aches from little toe-corns grow.”

During the past week my attention was attracted by a large placard embellishing the corners of our streets, headed in mighty capitals with the word “PHRENOLOGY,” and illustrated by a map of a man’s head, closely shaven and laid off in lots, duly numbered from one to forty-seven. Beneath this edifying illustration appeared a legend, informing the inhabitants of San Diego and vicinity that Professor Dodge had arrived and taken rooms (which was inaccurate, as he had but one room) at Gyascutus House, where he would be happy to examine and furnish them with a chart of their heads, showing the moral and intellectual endowments, at the low price of three dollars each.

Always gratified with an opportunity of spending my money and making scientific researches, I immediately had my hair cut and carefully combed, and hastened to present myself and my head to the Professor’s notice. I found him a tall and thin Professor, in a suit of rusty, not to say seedy black, with a closely-buttoned vest, and no perceptible shirtcollar or wristbands. His nose was red, his spectacles were blue, and he wore a brown wig, beneath which, as I subsequently ascertained, his bald head was laid off in lots, marked and numbered with Indian ink, after the manner of the diagram upon his advertisement. Upon a small table lay many little books with yellow covers, several of the placards, pen and ink, a pair of iron callipers with brass knobs, and six dollars in silver. Having explained the object of my visit, and increased the pile of silver by six half-dollars from my pocket—whereat he smiled, and I observed he wore false teeth (scientific men always do; they love to encourage art)—the Professor placed me in a chair, and rapidly manipulating my head, after the manner of a _shampooh_ (I am not certain as to the orthography of this expression), said that my temperament was “lymphatic, nervous, bilious.” I remarked that “I thought myself dyspeptic,” but he made no reply. Then, seizing on the callipers, he embraced with them my head in various places, and made notes upon a small card that lay near him on the table. He then stated that my “hair was getting very thin on the top,” placed in my hand one of the yellow-covered books, which I found to be an almanac containing anecdotes about the virtue of Dodge’s Hair Invigorator, and recommending it to my perusal, he remarked that he was agent for the sale of this wonderful fluid, and urged me to purchase a bottle—price two dollars. Stating my willingness to do so, the Professor produced from a hair trunk that stood in the corner of the room, which he stated, by the way, was originally an ordinary pine box, on which the hair had grown since “the Invigorator” had been placed in it—(a singular fact)—and recommended me to be cautious in wearing gloves while rubbing it upon my head, as unhappy accidents had occurred—the hair growing freely from the ends of the fingers, if used with the bare hand. He then seated himself at the table, and rapidly filling up what appeared to me a blank certificate, he soon handed over the following singular document:—

“Phrenological Chart of the Head of Mr. John Phœnix, by Flatbroke B. Dodge, Professor of Phrenology, and inventor and proprietor of Dodge’s celebrated Hair Invigorator, Stimulator of the Conscience, and Arouser of the Mental Faculties:—

Temperament—_Lymphatic, Nervous, Bilious_.
Size of Head, 11.
Amativeness, 11½.
Caution, 3.
Conscientiousness, 12.
Destructiveness, 9.
Hope, 10.
Imitation, 11.
Self-Esteem, ½.
Benevolence, 12.
Combativeness, 2½.
Credulity, 1.
Causality, 12.
Mirth, 1.
Language, 12.
Firmness, 2.
Veneration, 12.
Philoprogenitiveness, 0.”

Having gazed on this for a few moments in mute astonishment—during
which the Professor took a glass of brandy and water, and afterwards
a mouthful of tobacco—I turned to him and requested an explanation.

“Why,” said he, “it’s very simple; the number 12 is the maximum, 1
the minimum; for instance, you are as benevolent as a man can
be—therefore I mark you, Benevolence, 12. You have little or no
self-esteem—hence I place you, Self-esteem, ½. You’ve scarcely any
credulity, don’t you see?”

_I did see!_ This was my discovery. I saw at a flash how the English
language was susceptible of improvement, and, fired with the
glorious idea, I rushed from the room and the house; heedless of the
Professor’s request that I would buy more of his Invigorator;
heedless of his alarmed cry that I would pay for the bottle I had
got; heedless that I tripped on the last step of the Gyascutus
House, and smashed there the precious fluid (the step has now a
growth of four inches of hair on it, and the people use it as a
door-mat); I rushed home, and never grew calm till with pen, ink,
and paper before me, I commenced the development of my system.

This system—shall I say this great system?—is exceedingly simple,
and easily explained in a few words. In the first place, “_figures
won’t lie_.” Let us then represent by the number 100, the maximum,
the _ne plus ultra_ of every human quality—grace, beauty, courage,
strength, wisdom, learning—everything. Let _perfection_, I say, be
represented by 100, and an absolute minimum of all qualities by the
number 1.

Then by applying the numbers between, to the adjectives used in
conversation, we shall be able to arrive at a very close
approximation to the idea we wish to convey; in other words, we
shall be enabled to speak the truth. Glorious, soul-inspiring idea!
For instance, the most ordinary question asked of you is, “How do
you do?” To this, instead of replying, “Pretty well,” “Very well,”
“Quite well,” or the like absurdities—after running through your
mind that _perfection_ of health is 100, no health at all, 1—you
say, with a graceful bow, “Thank you, I’m 52 to-day;” or, feeling
poorly, “I’m 13, I’m obliged to you,” or, “I’m 68,” or “75,” or
“87½” as the case may be! Do you see how very close in this way you
may approximate to the truth; and how clearly your questioner will
understand what he so anxiously wishes to arrive at—your _exact_
state of health?

Let this system be adopted into our elements of grammar, our
conversation, our literature, and we become at once an exact,
precise, mathematical, truth-telling people. It will apply to
everything but politics; there, truth being of no account, the
system is useless. But in literature, how admirable! Take an
example:—

As a 19 young and 76 beautiful lady was 52 gaily tripping down the
side-walk of our 84 frequented street, she accidentally came in
contact—100 (this shows that she came in close contact)—with a 73
fat, but 87 good-humoured looking gentleman, who was 93 (_i.e._,
intently) gazing into the window of a toy-shop. Gracefully 56
extricating herself, she received the excuses of the 96 embarrassed
Falstaff with a 68 bland smile, and continued on her way. But
hardly—7—had she reached the corner of the block, ere she was
overtaken by a 24 young man, 32 poorly dressed, but of an 85
expression of countenance; 91 hastily touching her 54 beautifully
rounded arm, he said, to her 67 surprise—

“Madam, at the window of the toy-shop yonder, you dropped this
bracelet, which I had the 71 good fortune to observe, and now have
the 94 happiness to hand to you.”

(Of course the expression “94 happiness” is merely the young man’s
polite hyperbole.)

Blushing with 76 modesty, the lovely (76, as before, of course) lady
took the bracelet—which was a 24 magnificent diamond clasp—(24
_magnificent_, playfully sarcastic; it was probably _not_ one of
Tucker’s) from the young man’s hand, and 84 hesitatingly drew from
her beautifully 38 embroidered reticule a 67 portemonnaie. The young
man noticed the action, and 73 proudly drawing back, added—

“Do not thank me; the pleasure of gazing for an instant at those 100
eyes (perhaps too exaggerated a compliment) has already more than
compensated me for any trouble that I might have had.”

She thanked him, however, and with a 67 deep blush and a 48 pensive
air, turned from him, and pursued with 33 slow step her promenade.

Of course you see that this is but the commencement of a pretty
little tale, which I might throw off, if I had a mind to, showing in
two volumes, or forty-eight chapters of thrilling interest, how the
young man sought the girl’s acquaintance, how the interest first
excited deepened into love, how they suffered much from the
opposition of parents (her parents, of course), and how, after much
trouble, annoyance, and many perilous adventures, they were finally
married—their happiness, of course, being represented by 100. But I
trust that I have said enough to recommend my system to the good and
truthful of the literary world; and besides, just at present I have
something of more immediate importance to attend to.

You would hardly believe it, but that everlasting (100) scamp of a
Professor has brought a suit against me for stealing a bottle of his
disgusting Invigorator; and as the suit comes off before a Justice
of the Peace, whose only principle of law is to find guilty and fine
any accused person whom he thinks has any money—(because if he don’t
he has to take his costs in County Scrip), it behoves me to “take
time by the forelock.” So for the present, adieu!

Should my system succeed to the extent of my hopes and expectations,
I shall publish my new grammar early in the ensuing month, with
suitable dedication and preface; and should you, with your
well-known liberality, publish my prospectus, and give me a handsome
literary notice, I shall be pleased to furnish a presentation copy
to each of the little Pioneer children.

P.S.—I regret to add, that having just read this article to Mrs.
Phœnix, and asked her opinion thereon, she replied that, “If a
first-rate magazine article were represented by 100, she should
judge this to be about 13; or if the quintessence of stupidity were
100, she should take this to be in the neighbourhood of 96.”

This, as a criticism, is perhaps a little discouraging, but as an
exemplification of the merits of my system it is exceedingly
flattering. How could she, I should like to know, in ordinary
language, have given so _exact_ and truthful an idea—how expressed
so forcibly her opinion (which, of course, differs from mine) on the
subject?

As Dr. Samuel Johnson learnedly remarked to James Boswell, Laird of
Auchinleck, on a certain occasion—“Sir, the proof of the pudding is
the eating thereof.”

“_John Phœnix._”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

BIOGRAPHICAL INDEX OF AMERICAN HUMORISTS.

ABY, JOE C., “Hoffenstein,” born 1858. A humorist who made his
reputation on the _New Orleans Times-Democrat_. His “Hoffenstein”
sketches have been issued in book form.

ADAMS, CHARLES FOLLEN (1842). “Leedle Yawcob Strauss,” a short poem
bubbling over with quiet, kindly, pathetic humour, given in quaint
German-American vernacular, first brought Mr. Adams before the
public. “Leedle Yawcob Strauss” has been followed by many sunny
pieces in similar dialect. Mr. Adams has published _Leedle Yawcob
Strauss and other Poems_, _Dialect Ballads_, etc.

ADAMS, JOHN QUINCY (1767-1848), sixth President of the United States,
first attracted public attention by his writings, and principally on
account of his pen he was appointed to many honourable posts by
President George Washington. He wrote a number of humorous pieces of
verse, the most popular being “The Plague in the Forest” and “The
Wants of Man.”

ALCOTT, LOUISA MAY (1832-1888). Author of _Little Women_, _Little Men_,
_Moods_, _An Old-Fashioned Girl_, _Eight Cousins_, etc. Most popular
with the young people of America and Great Britain.

ALDEN, WILLIAM L., born 1837. Author of _Domestic Explosives_, _Shooting
Stars_, _Moral Pirates_, _A Lost Soul_ (Chatto & Windus), and a host
of volumes of facetious short stories. He was admitted to the bar,
but took to journalism; made himself famous as the “fifth-column
man” on the _New York Times_; was appointed consul-general at Rome,
the king decorating him with the cross of Chevalier of the “Crown of
Italy” at the end of his consulship. He introduced canoeing as a
pastime into the United States, and founded the first canoe club. He
is now (1893) writing humorous “stories” for the _Idler_ and other
English publications, and his work has lost none of his old-time
flavour.

ALDRICH, THOMAS BAILEY, born 1837. Mr. Aldrich, who for many years was
looked upon as one of the most promising younger writers of America,
has now attained the first rank in American poetry. His first great
success was the _Ballad of Babie Bell_, published in 1856, and this
induced him to adopt literature as a profession. In March 1881 he
was appointed editor of the _Atlantic Monthly_. Since _Babie Bell_
appeared he has given to the public much work of a high order.
_Pampinea and other Poems_, 1861; _Poems_ (two collections), 1863
and 1865; _Cloth of Gold_, 1874; _Flower and Thorn_, 1876; _Lyrics
and Sonnets_, 1880, in verse; and _Marjorie Daw and other People_,
1873; _Prudence Palfrey_, 1874; _The Stillwater Tragedy_, 1880;
_Mercedes_, 1883, in prose, are well known in Great Britain and
America. Messrs. Macmillan & Co. publish his works in England, and
Houghton, Mifflin, & Co. in America.

ALSOP, GEORGE, born 1638. When twenty years old he sailed to Maryland,
and for four years laboured as a servant. At the restoration of King
Charles he, a warm Royalist, returned to England, and whether he
returned to America or not is uncertain. He published _A Character
of the Province of Maryland_, a volume of prose and verse, absurdly
humorous from beginning to end.

ALSOP, RICHARD (1761-1815). Founder of a society of literary-inclined
individuals known as the “Hartford Wits.” Alsop was the chief writer
of the _Echo_, a series of burlesque essays published between 1791
and 1795. He also published _The Enchanted Lake of Fairy Morgana_,
_Monody on the Death of Washington_, _The Natural and Civil History
of Chili_, and edited the _Captivity and Adventures of J. R. Jewett
among the Savages of Nootka Sound_. He was an accomplished linguist.

AMES, NATHANIEL (1708-1764), commenced publishing in 1725 a yearly
calendar—the great-grandfather of the present weekly paper. He was a
shrewd wit, and his almanac, which obtained marked popularity, was
full of quaint and wise sayings.

ANDERSON, MRS. ARESTINE (1855). A writer of humorous newspaper verse.
Contributor to many of the humorous papers in America.

ANDRÉ, MAJOR JOHN (1751-1780). This unfortunate soldier wrote a humorous
piece entitled “The Cow Chase,” which, strangely enough, appeared in
_Rivington’s Royal Gazette_ the same day that the author was
captured.

ARNOLD, GEORGE (1834-1865). Author of _McArone Papers_, _The Jolly Old
Pedagogue, and other Poems_.

AUSTIN, WILLIAM (1778-1841). His “Peter Rugg, the Missing Man,”
published in the _New England Galaxy_, made a great hit, and his
“Letters from London” are full of quiet humour and quaint
information. He was also the author of “Oration on the Anniversary
of the Battle of Bunker’s Hill,” and “Essay on the Human Character
of Jesus Christ.”

BAGBY, GEORGE WILLIAM (1828-1883). Took his degree in medicine, adopted
journalism as a profession, was appointed (1870) state librarian for
Virginia. His humorous articles were published under the pen-name
“Mozis Addums,” and after his death his sketches were collected and
published by Mrs. Bagby in three volumes.

BAILEY, JAMES MONTGOMERY, born 1841. In 1873 and 1874 America, from the
Atlantic to the Pacific, was laughing at the “Danbury News-Man’s”
funny articles. His work was to be found copied in every paper in
the land, and the _Danbury News_, which up to that time had claimed
only local attention, soon rose in circulation, until it had readers
in every state in the Union. Mr. Bailey, whose laughable sketches
made this sensation, began life as a carpenter, served in the ranks
during the war, and then entered journalism. His humorous sketches
have been collected and published. _Life in Danbury_ and _England
from a Back Window_ are the best compilations.

BANGS, J. K. Has published the _Tiddledywink Poetry Book_. His verse is
in much request by the better-class humorous papers and magazines in
America.

BARLOW, JOEL (1754-1812). After serving with the Revolutionary army as
chaplain, he, in 1783, settled at Hartford, studied law, and was
admitted to the bar. He joined the “Hartford Wits,” founded a paper,
and began writing satirical verse. In 1791 he journeyed to England
to take part in the political movements of the day, and published
his _Advice to the Privileged Orders_, which the Government
proscribed. He took refuge in France, and while there wrote “Hasty
Pudding,” his most popular poem. After serving his country
diplomatically on a number of trying occasions, he, while acting as
minister to France, set out to visit Napoleon, then on his Russian
campaign, and died of cold in the famous retreat from Moscow.

BARR, JOHN, born in Canada 1858. Taught school, sailed the great lakes,
appointed marine editor of the _Detroit Free Press_, and is now
commercial editor of the paper. Has written under the pen-name
“Baron Joe.” The extract given is from _The White Feather_, a
farcical opera.

BARR, ROBERT (1851), co-editor of the _Idler_ (1892), and for many years
connected with the _Detroit Free Press_. His humorous sketches and
short stories, both humorous and dramatic, under the _nom de guerre_
of “Luke Sharp,” first made him known to the readers of the United
Kingdom and America, but lately he has taken to writing under his
proper name. His published works are _In a Steamer Chair, and other
Shipboard Stories_ (Chatto & Windus), _From Whose Bourn_, _Strange
Happenings_, _One Day’s Courtship_, _Jones and I_, etc. Although
inseparably connected with American humour, and having made his
first success in America and on an American paper, he was educated
in Canada.

BARTLETT, JOSEPH (1762-1827), graduated at Harvard, studied law, and
travelled to England to spend his money, which he easily succeeded
in doing, and as a result found himself in prison for debt. In
prison he wrote a play, and with the money obtained for it bought
his release. Trying the stage for a while and not making headway, he
obtained a cargo of goods on credit for sale in America, set sail,
and was shipwrecked. In Boston he started in business, failed,
opened a law office in Woburn, and removed to Cambridge. There he
wrote “Physiognomy,” a poem lampooning celebrities of the day, and
afterwards “The New Vicar of Bray.” He died penniless.

BAYLES, MATHER (1706-1788), humorous verse-writer.

BEERS, HENRY AUGUSTIN, born 1847, Professor of English at Yale. Has
published _Odds and Ends_, _The Thankless Muse_, volumes of verse,
and _Life of N. P. Willis_, _A Century of American Literature_, and
_An Outline Sketch of English Literature_. Has written a few
facetious poems.

BELKNAP, REV. JEREMY (1744-1798), a New England historian, and author of
_The Foresters, an American Tale_, a work rich in humour.

BELLAW, AMERICUS W., humorous verse-writer, contributor to most of the
humorous papers of America. He is well-known to readers of newspaper
humour in the United States.

BENJAMIN, PARK (1809-1864), a Boston attorney, who drifted into magazine
writing, and being equally at home in verse or prose, published a
great amount of matter. For a time he was associated with Horace
Greeley as editor of the _New Yorker_, and in 1840 he founded the
_New World_, and, with others, edited it for five years. His
principal works are _Infatuation_ and _Poetry_, both satires in
verse.

BEVERIDGE, JOHN, a Scotsman by birth, who in 1758 was appointed
Professor of Languages in Philadelphia College; published some Latin
verse of a humorous description, with their English translations by
his students.

BOLTON, MRS. SARAH TITTLE (1815). She wrote “Paddle your own Canoe.”

BRACKENRIDGE, HUGH HENRY (1748-1816). Born in Scotland and taken to
America while still a child, he earned enough money to put himself
through Princetown, graduating in 1771, and rose to be one of the
Justices of Pennsylvania Supreme Court (1799). _Modern Chivalry, or
the Adventures of Captain Farrago and Teague O’Regan his Servant_,
published in Pittsburg, 1796, a political satire, established his
reputation as a humorist.

BRAINARD, JOHN GARDINER CALKINS (1796-1828). Studied law, but on being
called to the bar he forsook his profession for that of editor of a
weekly paper. He wrote a number of ballads, and his “Sonnet to a
Sea-Serpent” is humorous.

BROUGHAM, JOHN, born in Dublin, 1810; died in America, 1880. A prolific
writer of comedies and farces, and was editor and proprietor of the
_Lantern_, a comic paper published in 1852. Two collections of his
writings have appeared, _A Basket of Chips_ and _The Bunsby Papers_.

BROWNE, CHARLES FARRAR (1834-1867), “Artemus Ward.” When fifteen years
old he contributed comic articles to the _Carpet Bag_, a Boston
weekly. Subsequently he secured the situation of reporter on the
_Cleveland Plaindealer_, a paper of good standing, and while acting
in that position commenced his showman articles. The first of these
were written in a careless style, more as a “fill up” than anything
else, but finding that they met with extraordinary success Mr.
Browne began taking greater pains with them, and the result is a
series of as clever and humorous articles as America has produced.
He was a successful lecturer, and in this capacity visited England
in 1866, but his health, which had long been failing, became so poor
that he was forced to cancel engagements. He died in Southampton,
England.

BROWNE, JOHN ROSS (1817-1875), author of _Yusef_, _American Family in
Germany_, _Land of Thor_, and other records of his travels in
Europe, well worth reading. He was a great traveller, visiting every
quarter of the globe, and his pen was never idle.

BUNNER, HENRY CUYLER (1885), present editor of _Puck_ (1892). He is a
writer of graceful verse and short stories, which are overflowing
with refined humour. _Airs from Arcady_, a volume of short verse,
_Short Sixes_ and _The Zodac Pines_, volumes of short stories, and
_A Woman of Honour_, a novel, are his principal published works. He
is one of the best of the many brilliant short-story writers America
of to-day possesses. Charles Scribner’s Sons and Ogilvie & Co.,
publishers, America.

BURBANK, “MAJOR,” editor _New Orleans Piccayune_, a humorous writer and
lecturer.

BURDETTE, ROBERT JONES (1844), first attracted attention by his humorous
articles to the _Burlington Hawkeye_. These sketches have been
collected and published in book form under the titles of _The Rise
and Fall of the Moustache_, _Hawkeyes_, _Sumach Garden_, and other
comic sketches. His humour is of the evanescent quality, and suited
better to the columns of a daily or weekly paper than to publication
in book form.

BURTON, WILLIAM EVANS, born in England, 1804; died in America, 1860. In
1834 he emigrated to America, and for a time was the leader of the
dramatic profession in America. In 1858 he published the _Cyclopædia
of Wit and Humour_ (2 vols.).

BUTLER, WILLIAM ALLEN, born 1825. A lawyer of New York who has been a
frequent contributor to the periodical literature of the country.
His _Nothing to Wear_, first published in 1857, is to be found in
most collections of American humour.

BYLES, DR. MATHER (1707-1788), more famous for his jokes in conversation
and in the pulpit than for his writings.

BYRD, COLONEL WILLIAM (1674-1744). Founder of Richmond, Va., three times
agent for the colony in England, and for thirty-seven years member
of the King’s Council. His _Westover Manuscripts_ were published in
1841. They are “A Journey to the Land of Eden,” “A Progress to the
Mines,” and “History of the Dividing Line.” He wrote verse, and was
considered a great wit.

CARLETON, WILL, born 1845. Without doubt the most popular humorous
verse-writer of the day in America. His versification is far from
being irreproachable, but he takes the everyday occurrences of life
and treats them in a simple humorous style which appeals to the
great public. His works are, _Farm Ballads_, _Farm Legends_, _Young
Folks’ Rhymes_, _Farm Festivals_, _City Ballads_, _City Legends_,
all published by Harper’s, New York, and most of them by Sampson
Low, Marston, & Co., London. For pictures of rural life his work is
invaluable.

CHENEY, JOHN VANCE (1848), public librarian of San Francisco. He has
published two dainty books of fascinating, graceful, and wayward
verse_, Thistledrift_ and _Wood Blooms_. See also _Poems of Wild
Life_, “Canterbury Poets.”

CLARK, LEWIS GAYLORD (1810-1873). Appointed editor of the _Knickerbocker
Magazine_ in 1834. He brought the magazine into fame, and gathered
around him as contributors, Longfellow, Irving, Bryant, Halleck,
Morris, and other well-known men. His published works in book form
are _Knickerbocker Sketch-Book_, and _Knick-Knacks from an Editor’s
Table_.

CLARK, WILL W., the “Frisbee” and “Gilhooley” of the _Pittsburg Leader_.

CLEMENS, SAMUEL LANGHORNE, born 1835. A true citizen of the United
States, he began at the bottom of the ladder and has worked his way
to the top. After receiving a meagre education at a village school,
he was apprenticed to a printer at the age of thirteen, and for
three years “stuck type.” In 1851 he took to the Mississippi,
earning his living as a pilot, and later on tried mining and
editing. Under the pseudonym “Mark Twain” he began to publish the
work which has earned for him the right to be considered the
greatest humorous writer of the century. _The Jumping Frog and other
Sketches_ was his first book, appearing in 1867, and this he has
followed with a splendid line of successes down to _The American
Claimant_, which has just appeared. Messrs. Chatto & Windus publish
his works in England, and Webster & Co. in America.

CLIFTON, WILLIAM (1772-1799), a satirical writer of prose and verse.
Author of _The Group_, _The Rhapsody of the Times_, and an
unfinished poem, “Chimeriad.”

COTES, MRS. E. C., “SARAH JEANNETTE DUNCAN” (1863). Miss Duncan, a
native of Brantford, Ontario, Canada, did her first literary work on
the _Toronto Globe_, and, after occupying positions on the staff of
the _Globe_ and _Washington Post_, spent a session at Ottawa as
special correspondent of the _Montreal Star_. This newspaper
training is clearly shown in her two clever books, _A Social
Departure_ and _An American Girl in London_. The first is an
original and wholly unconventional account of travel, telling how
she, in company with another girl, went round the world. The other
book is an equally bright description of her doings in London.

COX, SAMUEL SULLIVAN (“SUNSET COX”), born 1824, and died 1889. A lawyer,
journalist, and politician. He served the United States as
diplomatist in Peru and Turkey, and wrote and spoke much that was
witty. He published _The Buck-Eye Abroad_, _Why We Laugh_, _A Search
for Winter Sunbeams_, _Arctic Sunbeams_, _Orient Sunbeams_, and _The
Isles of the Princes_—the last three bright and laughable accounts
of his travels in many lands. They are published by G. P. Putnam’s
Sons, New York and London.

COX, WILLIAM, died about 1851. Author of _Crayon Sketches_. He wrote
under the pseudonym “An Amateur.”

COZZENS, FREDERICK SWARTOUT (1818-1869), author of _The Sayings of Dr.
Bushwhacker and other Learned Men_, and _The Sparrowgrass Papers_. A
genuine humorist and graceful writer. Some of his work was published
under the pen-name “Richard Haywarde.”

CURTIS, GEORGE WILLIAM (1824-1892). As the “Easy Chair” in _Harper’s
Magazine_, Mr. Curtis’ work was familiar to a wide circle of readers
throughout the English-speaking world. His writings are all
brightened by a vein of refined and genial humour. His chief works
are_ Nile Notes_, _The Howadji in Syria_, _Lotus-Eating_, _Potiphar
Papers_, _Prue and I_, and _Trumps_.

DERRING, NATHANIEL (1791-1881), a playwright of note and humorous story
writer. Author of _Bozzaris_ and _The Clairvoyants_.

DE MILLE, JAMES, Canadian (1837-1880). He began his career as a humorous
writer while still at school, his writings appearing in New
Brunswick papers. In 1860 he was appointed to the Chair of Classics
in Acadia College, and four years later that of history and rhetoric
in Dalhousie College, Halifax, holding the position till his death.
He published, during his comparatively short lifetime, more than
twenty books, of which _The Dodge Club_ found the most readers.

DENNIE, JOSEPH (1768-1812), a lawyer who thought better of it, and
adopted literature as a profession. In 1801 he became editor of the
_Portfolio_, and, under the _nom de plume_ “Oliver Old School,”
edited and wrote for it till his death. His _Short Sermons for Idle
Readers_ are rich in humour.

DEPEW, CHAUNCEY MITCHELL, born 1834. He entered politics before 1860,
and has stayed in ever since. He is President of the New York
Central Railway, the right-hand man of the Republican party, and
America’s most famous facetious after-dinner speaker and
story-teller.

DERBY, GEORGE HORATIO (“JOHN PHŒNIX”), 1823-1861, a graduate of West
Point, and served in the war with Mexico, receiving a severe wound
in the battle of Cerro Gordo. He explored Minnesota territory in
1849, and after holding many important government positions, was
made captain of engineers. He died from effects produced by
sunstroke. Under the pseudonym “John Phœnix,” he wrote the first of
what may be called newspaper humour. His _Phœnixiana_ and _The
Squibob Papers_ have been published on both sides the Atlantic.

DIAZ, MRS. ABBY (1821), a humorous writer for the young; author of
_Chronicles of the Stimpcett Family_, _The William Henry Letters_,
etc.

DODGE, H. C., a writer of newspaper verse, ready with his rhymes, but
whose chief ingenuity is displayed in the typographical arrangements
of his verse.

DOUGLASS, WILLIAM, a Scotsman who made America his home in 1718. He was
a famous satirist in his day.

DOWE, MRS. JENNIE, E. T. Her best work is to be found in the _Century
Magazine_, where she, every now and again, fills a page or two with
graceful and fantastical verse, usually employing a slight dialect
of one sort or another. Her poems are full of life and music, and
are decidedly clever.

DRAKE, JOSEPH RODMAN (1795-1820), co-author with Halleck of the _Croaker
Papers_, and author of _The Culprit Fay_.

DRUMMOND, DR. W. H., a resident of Montreal, Canada. He is a master of
the French-Canadian dialect, and in verse has the field pretty much
to himself. His _Wreck of the Julie Plante_ is the most popular
humorous song Canada has produced.

DUNCAN, SARAH JEANNETTE. _See_ COTES, MRS.

DUNLOP, WILLIAM, born in Scotland 1795 (?), died in Canada 1848. He
contributed to _Blackwood’s Magazine_ “The Autobiography of a Rat,”
founded the Toronto Literary Society, and represented Huron County
in the first parliament after the union of Upper and Lower Canada.

DWIGHT, TIMOTHY (1752-1817), President of Yale College, and hymn-writer
of note. Among his many published works is _Triumph of Infidelity_,
a satire.

EDWARDS, EDWARD E., the author of “Facts and Fancies” in the _Boston
Transcript_.

FAY, THEODORE SEDGEWICK, born 1807, an associate of Morris and Willis in
the _New York Mirror_. Mr. Fay, about 1830, joined the diplomatic
service, and was stationed at Berlin and Berne for years. He
published many works of a quietly humorous character.

FESSENDEN, THOMAS GREEN (1771-1837). When at Dartmouth College he wrote
“Jonathan’s Courtship,” a ballad which became popular, and was
reprinted in England. He studied law and wrote humorous verse until
1801, when he was sent to England with a newly-patented hydraulic
machine which proved a failure. This and other patents in which he
experimented ruined him. Returning to America, he edited for a time
the _New York Weekly Inspector_, and from this time till his death
was connected with one paper or another. His published works include
_Democracy Unveiled_, “Pills, Poetical, Political, and
Philosophical, prescribed for the purpose of purging the Public
of—Philosophers, Penny Poetasters, of Paltry Politicians and Petty
Partisans. By Peter Pepperbox, Poet and Physician, Philadelphia.”

FIELD, EUGENE (1850). During the year 1891 Mr. Field made a successful
_début_ before the reading public of Great Britain with his _Little
Book of Western Verse_, and _Little Book of Profitable Tales_,
published by Osgood, McIlvain, & Co. For many years past Mr. Field
has been the chief humorist of Chicago, and in verse and prose holds
an honoured place among the present-day writers of America. He is
equally at home in prose and verse.

FIELD, MATTHEW C. (1812-1844), a contributor to many southern journals
from 1834 till the time of his death.

FIELDS, JAMES THOMAS (1817-1881). He edited the _Atlantic Monthly_ for
eleven years, and wrote several volumes of prose and clever humorous
verse. He was partner in the publishing house of Ticknor & Fields.

FINN, HENRY J. (1782-1840), an actor, miniature painter, and humorist.
He was lost in the burning of the steamer _Lexington_.

FOLGER, PETER (1617-1690), grandfather of Benjamin Franklin, published a
satirical attack on the follies of the day, under the extensive
title of _A Looking-glass for the Times; or, the Former Spirit of
New England Revised in this Generation_.

FOSS, SAM WALTER (1858), editor of the _Yankee Blade_. Although his
poems are as widely quoted on one side the Atlantic as the other,
they have not yet appeared in book form in England.

FRANKLIN, BENJAMIN (1706-1790) It is difficult to say what Franklin was
not, and there can be no question of his being the best-informed man
of his day. Along with his other virtues, he was a humorist, and
sparkling witty in conversation and writing. He was the first
American to achieve cosmopolitan fame as a writer.

FRENEAU, PHILIP (1752-1832). He commenced to write poetry before he left
college, and continued to do so all his life. As a consequence, his
published works are many. His reputation as a humorist rests to a
great extent on “A Journey from Philadelphia to New York, by Robert
Slender, Stocking-Weaver,” published 1787.

GOLDSMITH, JAY CHARLTON, the “P.I. Man” of the _New York Herald_, and
the author of the “Jay Charlton” papers which appeared in the
_Danbury News_.

GRAYDON, ALEXANDER (1752-1818). Graydon served in the War of
Independence, was taken prisoner; when peace was restored was
appointed to a government office, which he held for many years. He
wrote his memoirs, and was an epigrammatist of note.

GREEN, JOSEPH (1706-1780), a writer of verse, chiefly parody. His
“Poet’s Lament for the Loss of his Cat, which he used to call his
Mews,” published in the _London Magazine_, 1733, and “The Wonderful
Lament of Old Mr. Tenor,” are the most notable of his productions.
He died in England.

GREENE, ALBERT GORTON (1802-1868), founder of the Providence Athenæum,
and president of the Rhode Island Historical Society from 1854 till
his death. His poem, “Old Grimes,” has appeared in almost every
collection of American humour published.

GREGORY W. H., working editor of _Judge_, and a brilliant paragraphist.

GRISWOLD, A. MINOR (_nom de guerre_, “The Fat Contributor”), first made
his name on the _Cincinnati Enquirer_, and afterwards became
identified with _Texas Siftings_. In 1889 he started on a lecturing
tour à la Artemus Ward, and died in Michigan.

HABBERTON, JOHN, born 1842. The author of _Helen’s Babies_. He served
through the war, and after an unsuccessful attempt to establish
himself in business he took up journalism. In 1876, after several
refusals, he found a publisher for _Helen’s Babies_, and the result
was a sale of close on half a million copies in the United States
alone. Since that time he has published a dozen or more books, most
of them successes.

HALE, LUCRETIA PEABODY, born 1820. Her _Peterkim Papers_, published in
America by Osgood & Co., Boston, made her famous with the young folk
of America, but the reader must be young to enjoy the skits.

HALIBURTON, THOMAS CHANDLER (1797-1865), Canada’s most famous humorist.
Was admitted to the bar in Nova Scotia at the age of twenty-three,
and nine years later was made Chief Justice of the Court of Common
Pleas, and in 1840 Judge of the Supreme Court. In 1842 he resigned
this office and settled in England, sitting in Parliament as
Conservative member for Launceston from 1859 to 1865. It was in the
year 1835 he commenced writing his humorous works that made the name
of “Sam Slick” famous the world over. His first production was T_he
Clockmaker; or, The Sayings and Doings of Sam Slick_; and this he
followed up with _Bubbles of Canada_, _Letter Bag of the Great
Western_, _Yankee Stories_, _Nature and Human Nature_, etc.

HALLECK, FITZ-GREENE (1790-1867), a descendant of John Eliot, “The
Apostle of the Indians.” In 1819 he and John Rodman Drake published
the _Croaker Papers_, humorous and satirical, which attracted much
attention at the time. These papers he followed with “Fanny,” his
longest poem, hitting off the follies of the day. These are his
chief contributions to humorous literature.

HALPINE, CHARLES GRAHAM (1829-1868), “Miles O’Reilly,” a verse-writer.
Established with “Mrs. Partington” a humorous paper called _The
Carpet Bag_, which proved a failure. He enlisted during “the war,”
and worked his way up until he finally became a colonel. He issued
_Life and Adventures, Songs, Services, and Speeches of Private Miles
O’Reilly, 47th Regiment, New York Volunteers_, and _A Collection of
Essays, Poems, Speeches, and Banquets by Private Miles O’Reilly.
Collected, Revised, and Edited, with the Requisite Corrections of
Punctuation, Spelling, and Grammar, by an ex-Colonel of the
Adjutant-General’s Department, etc._

HARRIS, CHARLES H., “Carl Pretzel,” born 1833. Author of _Pretzelisms,
My Book of Expressions_, etc., humorous compilations in Dutch
dialect.

HARRIS, JOEL CHANDLER, born 1848. The greatest exponent of the negro
dialect. In the columns of the _Atlanta Constitution_, of which he
is editor and part proprietor, his _Uncle Remus_ sketches first saw
the light, and proved enormously successful. His humour is delicate
and fascinating, and as a consequence the _Remus_ series of books
have had a world-wide circulation. No lover of the humorous should
overlook Mr. Harris’s work. American publishers, Appleton & Co.

HARTE, FRANCIS BRET, born 1836. Taking full advantage of his unique
acquaintance with the West of America during the stirring days of
’49, when, in California, he was in turn gold-digger, express-rider,
printer, and editor, Bret Harte has given to the world volume after
volume of short stories which picture in an inimitable way the
manners and men of the gold days. No writer is more
characteristically American than he; his style is vivid and
beautiful, and he has a wonderful fund of humour, which appears in
every line he writes. His published works, prose and verse, are
many. Messrs. Chatto & Windus have recently published a complete
edition of his writings. American publishers, Houghton, Mifflin, &
Co.

HAWTHORNE, NATHANIEL (1804-1864). Like most men of exceptional worth in
literature; he found great difficulty at first in getting his work
published. After writing and destroying many tales, he published, at
his own expense, a novel entitled _Fanshawe_, which proved a
failure; and it was not until 1837 that he, or rather a friend,
induced a publisher to bring out _Twice-told Tales_. In the spring
of 1850 appeared _The Scarlet Letter_, which raised the author from
obscurity to the front rank of American literature, and the works
which followed established his position in the letters of his
country.

HAY, COLONEL JOHN, born 1838, one of President Lincoln’s private
secretaries during the war, and has since in collaboration written a
history of the martyr-president. His reputation for humour was made
by a small volume of verse entitled _Pike Country Ballads_. Best
known of these ballads are “Little Breeches” and “Jim Bludso,” both
strong pieces of verse.

HENDERSON, WILLIAM JAMES, born 1855, a New York journalist who has
written much pleasant verse and prose.

HOLLAND, JOSIAH GILBERT (1819-1881). For some time editor of _Scribner’s
Monthly_ (now the _Century_), and a writer who, though judged from a
literary point of view is quite second class, still is popular with
the reading public of America. He wrote a number of articles under
the _nom de plume_ of “Timothy Titcomb.”

HOLLEY, MARIETTA. Under the pseudonym of “Josiah Allen’s Wife” she wrote
a great deal of humorous matter. Author of _My Opinions and Betsey
Bobbet’s_, _My Wayward Partner_, _Josiah Allen’s Wife as a P. A. and
P.I._, etc.

HOLMES, DR. OLIVER WENDELL, born 1809, physician, novelist, essayist,
and poet, began literary work at an early age, and for more than
half a century has written industriously and with consistent
success. The _Breakfast-Table_ series is among the most read of all
America’s humorous writings, and various short poems of a humorous
nature, such as “The One-Hoss Shay,” “Contentment,” “The Spectre
Pig,” etc., are in every compilation of humour. His chief works are
_The Autocrat at the Breakfast-Table_, _The Professor at the
Breakfast-Table_, _The Poet at the Breakfast-Table_, _Songs of Many
Seasons_, _Songs in Many Keys_. He is one of the small band of
humorists who are as carefully read and highly appreciated in the
United Kingdom as in their native land. American publishers,
Houghton, Mifflin, & Co.

HOOPER, JOHNSON, J. (1815-1863), a native of North Carolina, studied law
in Alabama, was made a judge, and in 1861 appointed Secretary of the
Provisional Confederate Congress. He published _Widow Rugby’s
Husband and Adventures of Captain Simon Suggs_. Clever, but somewhat
broad in humour.

HOPKINS, LEMUEL (1750-1801), one of the “Hartford Wits,” and co-author
and projector of _The Anarchiad_, a poem on State Rights, cuttingly
sarcastic. He also wrote _The Echo_, _The Political Greenhouse_, and
_New Year’s Verses_, all full of sarcasm.

HOPKINSON, FRANCIS (1737-1791), a telling, sarcastic writer, widely read
in his lifetime, and author of the poem, “The Battle of the Kegs,”
which remains famous. He was one of those who signed the Declaration
of Independence. His son wrote “Hail, Columbia.”

HOWARD, BRONSON (1842). The most successful American dramatist of the
day, and almost the only American whose plays command attention in
England. His plays, _Saratoga_, _Truth_, _The Old Love and the New_,
_Young Mrs. Winthrope_, _The Henrietta_, and others are full of
humour, and have been successful on both sides the Atlantic.

HOWELLS, WILLIAM DEAN, born 1837. He is now America’s representative
novelist, and has qualified for representation in a humorous book by
his comedies, _Out of the Question_, _A Counterfeit Presentment_,
_The Parlour Car_, _The Sleeping Car_, etc. He is an industrious
writer. D. Douglas, Edinburgh, in his American author series, has
included twenty-five of Mr. Howells’ works. The extract given in
this book is from _A Chance Acquaintance_. American publishers,
Houghton, Mifflin, & Co., and Osgood & Co.

HOYT, CHARLES, humorous paragraphist of the _Boston Post_, the paper, by
the way, which is credited with having originated the column of
witty paragraphs now so popular with American and British papers.

HUMPHREYS, DAVID (1752-1818), served as aide-de-camp to Washington, and
wrote lyrics of a patriotic nature for the good of the cause. He was
an intimate friend of the first president, residing with and being
treated as a member of the Washington family, and held many
positions of trust. He was one of the famous “Hartford Wits.”

HUNTER-DUVAR, LIEUTENANT-COLONEL JOHN (1830), one of the principal
literary men of Canada, his work polished, bright, and full of
imagination. His “Emigration of the Fairies,” a poem of 117 stanzas
of six lines each, is quite the best piece of verse as regards
light, fantastical, imaginative humour that Canada has produced.
Many of his lyrics are dainty and sweet, with a seventeenth century
ring about them. He has published in verse _De Roberval_, a drama
dealing with early life in Canada, _The Triumph of Constancy_, _The
Enamorado_, and for private circulation, _John a’ Var, his Lays_.

HUNTLEY, STANLEY. In 1881 Mr. Huntley joined the staff of the _Brooklyn
Eagle_, to which paper he contributed his famous “Spoopendyke”
articles. He died before he had the opportunity of following up his
success.

IRVING, JOHN TREAT (1778-1838), a writer of sarcastic political verse.

IRVING, WASHINGTON (1783-1859), author of those undying works of
delightful and quaint humour, _Rip Van Winkle_, _Sketch Book_,
_History of New York by Diedrich Knickerbocker_, etc. A hospitable,
vivacious, good-natured, humorous man, who, at the opening of his
career, was much harassed by business worries, and it was not until
his books had scattered his fame broadcast, and the revenue from his
writings began to accrue to him, that he could lead the life of
hearty hospitality and freedom he loved. He was one of the small
band of American authors which first attracted attention outside of
their own country, and established the literary reputation of
America.

IKE MARVEL. _See_ MITCHELL, D. G.

JAMES, HENRY (1843). His stories are slight in plot, but worked out
gracefully, and full of character delineation, vivacious, and witty.

JOHNSTON, RICHARD MALCOLM, born 1822, a native of Georgia, author of
_The Dukesborough Tales_ and _Mark Langston_.

JOSIAH ALLEN’S WIFE. _See_ HOLLEY.

KEELER, RALPH (1840-1873). Mr. Keeler had an adventurous career, running
away from home when a lad, serving as cabin-boy on a lake steamer,
train-boy on a railway, joining several bands of strolling
minstrels, worked in a post-office, visited Europe, and supported
himself by correspondence with newspapers and lecturing. He
published _Three Years a Negro Minstrel_, _A Tour of Europe on
$181_, _Gloverson and his Silent Partners_ (from which “A Breach of
Promise Case” in this volume is taken), and _Vagabond Adventures_.
He mysteriously disappeared while doing newspaper work in Cuba, and
it is supposed he was murdered and thrown overboard from a steamer.

KELLY, ANDREW W. (“PHARMENAS MIX”), died 1888. A writer of humorous
poetry, which appeared in the _Century Magazine_, _Detroit Free
Press_, etc.

KERR, ORPHEUS C. _See_ NEWELL.

KIMBALL, MATHER DEAN (1849), a Wisconsin journalist who has written some
dialect pieces of merit.

LANDON, MELVILLE D., “ELI PERKINS,” born 1840. In 1871 he published his
first book, a detailed history of the Franco-German war, and
afterwards began writing in a lighter vein for various publications,
among them the _Chicago Tribune_.

LANIGAN, GEORGE THOMAS (1845-1886), a Canadian journalist who drifted
across the borders, and who, after filling important positions on
the staff of many of the great American newspapers, died in
Philadelphia. He was a brilliant and versatile journalist, and his
poems, “The Ahkoond of Swat” and “Dirge of the Moolta Kotal,” are
masterpieces of oddness of theme and wording.

LELAND, CHARLES GODFREY (1824). Best known to lovers of the humorous as
the author of the laughable _Breitmann Ballads_. Since fifteen years
of age Mr. Leland has been busy with his pen, and there is no
greater authority on folk-lore, superstition, and legend than he. He
has written many volumes of verse, sketches of travel, etc., and is
still (1893) hard at work.

LEWIS, CHARLES B., “M QUAD,” born 1842. The creator of _His Honor and
Bijah_, his first great success; _The Lime Kiln Club_, with all its
comical darkey characters; _Carl Dunder_, the unsophisticated
Dutchman who is always being “shwindled”; _The Arisona Kicker_,
whose editor keeps a private graveyard; and _Mr. and Mrs. Bowser_.
“M Quad” is without question the greatest newspaper humorist of
America. His style is deliciously original; he can write weekly for
years on the same subject without wearying the reader. “Quad” is
popularly known as the _Detroit Free Press_ man, from his long
connection with that weekly.

LIGHTHALL WILLIAM DOUW, born 1857. His _Songs of the Great Dominion_, a
collection of verse by various Canadian writers, attracted
considerable attention in this kingdom. His works are, _An Analysis
of the Altruistic Act_, _Sketch of a New Utilitarianism_, _Thoughts,
Moods, and Ideas_ (a collection of verse), and a novel, _The Young
Seigneur_. He has paid little attention to humorous writing.

LOCKE, DAVID ROSS, “PETROLEUM V. NASBY” (1833-1888). A political
humorist and satirical writer, whose works have left their
impression on American political life. He was editor of the _Toledo
Blade_. His principal published works are, _Swinging Round the
Circle_, _The Moral History of Americans Little Struggle_, and _A
Paper City_.

LOGAN, JOHN E., a Canadian who, under the _nom de guerre_ of “Barry
Dane,” has written some clever humorous pieces. _See_ Lighthall’s
_Songs of the Great Dominion_.

LONGSTREET, AUGUSTUS BALDWIN (1790-1870), in turn a lawyer, legislator,
judge, editor, Methodist minister, college president, and farmer. He
was a ready and brilliant speaker, and an industrious writer of
humour and pathos. His _Georgia, Scenes, Characters, and Incidents_,
first published in periodicals, and afterwards collected in book
form, were widely read. The papers are full of humour, rather broad,
but it is said by those who know, truly characteristic of the place
and period.

LOW, SAMUEL, born 1765. Author of two volumes of poetry, containing many
pieces of a humorous character.

LOWELL, JAMES RUSSELL (1819-1891), poet, essayist, and diplomat. One of
the foremost literary geniuses of America. His first volume of poems
was published in 1838, under the title of _Class Poems_. In 1841
followed _A Year’s Life_, consisting mainly of love poems, only a
few of which the author in later years considered worth
republishing. In the year 1846 the _Biglow Papers_ began appearing
in the columns of the _Boston Courier_, and it was not until 1848
that what is probably the most remarkable series of satirical poems
which ever appeared were furnished. For wit, insight into human
nature, and finish, these poems, in the peculiar dialect of the
“down-easter,” must be considered nothing short of perfect. These
poems had an instantaneous effect on America, and raised the
question of slavery and corruption in politics to the eyes of the
people in a way they had never before been presented. Mr. Lowell was
an out-and-out democrat and a fearless exponent of democracy of the
kind established by the founders of American independence. His
works, of which a complete and excellent edition is published by
Messrs. Macmillan & Co., London, are numerous, the best known being
_Class Poems_, _A Year’s Life_, _Poems_ (1844), _The Vision of Sir
Launfal_ (1848), _Conversations on some of the Old Poets_ (1945),
_Poems_ (1848), _The Biglow Papers_, _A Fable for Critics_, _Poems_
(1849), _Life of Keats, Mason and Slidell_, _Fireside Travels_, _The
President’s Policy_, _Biglow Papers_ (second series), _Under the
Willows_, _Among my Books_, _Democracy, and other Addresses_.
Messrs. Houghton, Mifflin, & Co. have published a complete edition
of his works in America.

MACCLURG, DR. JAMES (1747-1825), a writer of the dainty _vers de
société_, which has since become so popular with a school of modern
writers.

MACDOWELL, MRS. KATE (1853-1883), a writer of humorous sketches in
vernacular, and published by _Harper’s_. Pseudonym, “Sherwood
Bonner.”

M’LENNAN, WILLIAM, Canadian. His French-Canadian dialect sketches and
stories are full of humour, and the dialect is perfect. See
Lighthall’s _Songs of the Great Dominion_.

MILES O’REILLY. _See_ HALPINE.

MILLER, CINCINNATUS HINER, “Joaquin” (1841). The most American of all
America’s poets. In his youth he took to gold-mining in California,
afterwards acting as express-rider, later on drifted into
journalism, and began his literary career while judge of Grant
county, Oregon. His best-known works are _Songs of the Sierras_,
_Songs of Sunland_, _Songs of the Desert_, _Songs of the Mexican
Seas_, and _In Classic Shades_. He has not written much in a
humorous vein, but his “William Brown of Oregon,” “That Gentle Man
from Boston Town,” and “Saratoga and the Psalmist,” all humorous
verse, have been widely read.

MITCHELL, DONALD GRANT, born 1822. His delicate health compelled him to
abandon the study of law, and he has spent most of his time in
landscape gardening, writing, and travelling. His first book, _Fresh
Gleanings, or a New Sheaf from the Old Field of Continental Europe_,
was published in 1847, and in 1850 his widely-read work, _Reveries
of a Bachelor_, appeared. In the sixties appeared the “Edgewood”
series of books from his pen. Most of his humorous work appeared
under the pen-name of “Ike Marvel.”

MITCHELL, DR. SAMUEL LATHAM (1764-1831), a valuable and voluminous
writer on scientific subjects. He was a humorist in his way.

MOORE, CLEMENT CLARKE (1779-1863). He wrote the famous piece of verse
beginning—

“’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.”

MORRIS, GEORGE P. (1802-1864), began writing for the press when but
fifteen years of age, and during his lifetime saw many of his poems
attain international celebrity. In 1823, he, in conjunction with
Samuel Woodworth, established the _New York Mirror_, and in 1843,
with N. P. Willis, the _New Mirror_; and in 1845 himself founded the
_National Press_, afterwards the _Home Journal_. _The Little
Frenchman and his Water-Lots_, a volume of prose sketches, published
in 1839, was widely read; but his greatest hits were made by the
songs, “Woodman, spare that Tree,” “We were Boys together,” “My
Mother’s Bible,” and “Whip-poor-will.”

MORTON, THOMAS, born in England about 1575; died in America, 1646.
During his adventurous life he caused Miles Standish and his Puritan
followers a great deal of trouble, being many times imprisoned for
misdeeds. He wrote a book, of which the following is a copy of the
title-page:—“New English Canaan or New Canaan, containing an
abstract of New England, composed in three Bookes. The first Booke
setting forth the originall of the Natives, their Manners and
Customs, together with their tractable Nature and Love towards the
English. The second Booke setting forth, what people are planted
there, their prosperity, what remarkable accidents have happened
since the first planting of it, together with their Tenents and
practise of their Church. _Written by_ Thomas Morton of Clifford’s
Inne gent, _upon Tenne years knowledge and experiment of the
country_. Printed at Amsterdam by Jacob Frederick Stain in the yeare
1637.” This book is full of ridicule of all things pertaining to the
Puritans.