Chapter I: AM now beginning to get fairly into my work; and by the help of a

vegetable diet, with a few of the cold seeds, I make no doubt but I shall be able to go on with my uncle _Toby_’s story, and my own, in a tolerable straight line. Now,

four very squiggly lines across the page signed Inv.T.S and Scw.T.S

These were the four lines I moved in through my first, second, third, and fourth volumes[32]——In the fifth volume I have been very good,——the precise line I have described in it being this:

One very squiggly line across the page with loops marked A,B,C,C,C,C,C,D.

By which it appears, that except at the curve, marked A. where I took a trip to _Navarre_,—and the indented curve B. which is the short airing when I was there with the Lady _Baussiere_ and her page,—I have not taken the least frisk of a digression, till _John de la Casse_’s devils led me the round you see marked D.—for as for _c c c c c_ they are nothing but parentheses, and the common ins and outs incident to the lives of the greatest ministers of state; and when compared with what men have done,—or with my own transgressions at the letters A B D—they vanish into nothing.

In this last volume I have done better still—for from the end of Le Fever’s episode, to the beginning of my uncle _Toby_’s campaigns,—I have scarce stepped a yard out of my way.

If I mend at this rate, it is not impossible——by the good leave of his grace of _Benevento_’s devils——but I may arrive hereafter at the excellency of going on even thus:

which is a line drawn as straight as I could draw it, by a writing-master’s ruler (borrowed for that purpose), turning neither to the right hand or to the left.

This _right line_,—the path-way for Christians to walk in! say divines——

——The emblem of moral rectitude! says _Cicero_——

——_The best line!_ say cabbage planters——is the shortest line, says _Archimedes_, which can be drawn from one given point to another.——

I wish your ladyships would lay this matter to heart, in your next birth- day suits!

——What a journey!

Pray can you tell me,—that is, without anger, before I write my chapter upon straight lines——by what mistake——who told them so——or how it has come to pass, that your men of wit and genius have all along confounded this line, with the line of GRAVITATION?

[32] Alluding to the first edition.