Chapter III: Part 3

[_The Devil clenches his fists._

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_to Fanny, brightly_)

Oh, no limitations—he can spend anything he likes on himself—

FANNY (_eagerly_)

Say half of what you would have paid him at the Mills?

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_anxious to regain The Devil’s good-will_) Half? All! All! No strings to my generosity, young lady. I want him to be happy at his work. He can buy an automobile—or a—yacht—or—er—jewellery—or—anything—

FANNY (_throwing herself into The Devil’s arms_)

Addington! Addington! At last!

[_Agnus clenches his fists and starts across room_.

THE DEVIL (_in an injured tone_)

I thought you were going away never to return?

FANNY

And would you have been unhappy, dearest?

THE DEVIL

You just said: “All is over between us”—

FANNY

Just to see what you would say—and I saw—you grew quite red, Addington—

THE DEVIL (_bitterly_)

Yes—to keep from laughing—

FANNY

Ah! Addington! You are being proud now. Look at me! How I have sunk my pride, determined to get to the bottom of this. I have been wrong. I acknowledge it. I had no right to interfere with your work. I came back to tell you that—to sacrifice myself, too—

[_The Devil stares blankly at her. Agnus nudges him fiercely to take his arm away from Fanny. The Devil at last takes his arm away._

FANNY (_who has been talking in the meantime_)

But Mr. Magnus has repented. He has seen my side of the case, too. We can have a town house now, Addington, with that two million—and two motors—

THE DEVIL (_sarcastically_)

Oh, can we?

FANNY (_reproachfully_)

Remember, I was ready to sacrifice everything for you. I didn’t know Mr. Magnus would be so generous. And now—the marriage, dear—when? [_Doll Blondin reënters from the stairway, hatless and dressed in a shirtwaist._

DOLL BLONDIN

Who’s going to help your man bring up my trunks?

[_Fanny disengages herself from the Devil and stares at Doll: first wildly, then savagely, then catlike._

FANNY (_tragically to The Devil_)

Explain!

AGNUS (_wildly_)

Fanny, I can explain everything.

[_Fanny pushes him away. Her look is that of a tragedy-queen’s as she advances with folded arms toward The Devil, who smiles impishly, sure now that he has rid himself of her for good._

FANNY

Explain, Addington Agnus!

[_The Devil ignites a cigarette at the electric lighter, shrugs his shoulders and smiles again._

DOLL BLONDIN (_who has come down to The Devil_)

Well, how about those trunks?

THE DEVIL

Oh, Schwartzenhopfel will help you—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_indignantly, as if to say: “Remember I am John Magnus”_) What?

THE DEVIL (_pointing to Agnus_) Him!

[_Agnus folds his arms also and does not stir._

THE DEVIL (_to Agnus_)

Best thing—if the police should look in—

AGNUS (_unhappily_)

What do I care for the police—or anything—now!

FANNY (_to The Devil in a dangerously cold tone_)

I have _asked_ for an explanation!

THE DEVIL (_irritated_)

Oh, don’t try to Sarah Bernhardt it, Fanny. You haven’t the talent. Amateurs trying to be dramatic are only comic.

FANNY (_turning suddenly to Doll Blondin with a “woman-to-woman-no-foolishness” air_) What are you doing in this house? Are you the new housekeeper, or the parlor-maid?

DOLL BLONDIN (_half stunned and half admiring_) You cat, you!

FANNY (_loudly_)

Who is this woman?

DOLL BLONDIN (_aroused_)

I’m as much the lady as you! Howling and crying around here. What’s the matter? Are you crazy? (_Suddenly indignant_) Woman? Do you think—(_Her Broadway mock modesty and pretended lady-like morality halt her from saying what she means, so she explains shortly_) I’m boarding here! (_Violently_) How dared you think anything else—Woman, yourself!

FANNY (_with a dry laugh_)

Boarding? Can’t you think of a better story than that? Why should he take boarders?

DOLL BLONDIN (_shortly_)

Because he needs my twenty a week, I suppose.

[_Fanny laughs still more dryly._

DOLL BLONDIN (_enraged_)

Well, anyway, he ran after me in the street and called me in. (_Seeing she has hurt Fanny, she encourages the innuendo wickedly_) Said price didn’t matter—he said. (_Violently again_) But have no fear: I won’t stay here and be insulted: I’ll go—

FANNY

You had better—

THE DEVIL

Miss Blondin, if the place, or the food, or the service is unsatisfactory—go. Otherwise—stay. This lady is nothing to me.

DOLL BLONDIN (_in cool admiration_)

Well, you _are_ a brute!

FANNY (_to The Devil, seeing the admiration and rendered wild by it_) I understand now! This is why you’ve changed so suddenly. The sight of this woman of the street—

DOLL BLONDIN (_blazing_)

What?

FANNY (_a little alarmed_)

Woman in the street, I said—

DOLL BLONDIN

Oh!

FANNY

And you forget your honor, your duty, your religion—

THE DEVIL

What has religion got to do with it?

FANNY

Everything. Well, I won’t permit it. I care nothing for you. I hate you. But there’s a law in the land that protects defenceless women—

THE DEVIL

Defenceless? Not unless they’re dumb!

FANNY

And I’ll see what the law says. I’ll publish you in every newspaper in the country, and I’ll tell how the great scientist ran after a strange woman—a woman he knew nothing about—and begged her to live in his house so she would be convenient to make love to.

[_Doll Blondin looks at him suspiciously._

FANNY

Then where will your reputation be? Your Nobel prize?

DOLL BLONDIN (_hastily_)

I’m glad I didn’t have my trunks unpacked—

THE DEVIL

Miss Blondin—

DOLL BLONDIN

Who do you think’s paying for my lessons, my education? Think I saved it out of a chorus salary? If somebody in New York were to hear such a story, it would be good-bye to taking part of my pay in three sheets. (_Puts out her hand_) But I’ll run in on you every now and then to say “Hello.” You are _such_ a brute!

FANNY (_standing between them_)

You’ll do nothing of the sort, d’you hear?

DOLL BLONDIN

Indeed, miss?

FANNY

Indeed, miss, and indeed, miss—and as for you, Addington Agnus, I’ll stay here in this house—with mother, until our wedding-day—

THE DEVIL (_desperately_)

By Saturn—I wish I could think of something to do to you—

AGNUS (_desperately_)

Tell her the truth—the truth. If you don’t want her, I want her—

[_A noise is heard outside._

FANNY

You!

AGNUS

Yes, I! Fanny, listen! Here is the truth! (_He seizes her, overcome with love, and embraces and kisses her_)

[_Fanny screams._

AGNUS

Listen, Fanny, I am—

[_The noise increases. The door is thrown open, and through it are seen a Detective-lieutenant and his two men, all in plain clothes, as well as Sheriff Peattie and Judge Critty. They appear just in time to see Agnus embrace Fanny and to hear her scream._

JUDGE CRITTY

Here are the police you called for, Mr. Magnus. I brought them as fast as I could.

[_Schwartzenhopfel dodges instinctively at the word “Police.” Agnus releases Fanny and plunges headforemost onto the sofa, where he hides ostrich-like among the pillows._

JUDGE CRITTY (_pointing to The Devil_)

There’s the gentleman!

PEATTIE

What? Doctor Agnus?

JUDGE CRITTY

He’s as much my friend as yours, Constable. But he must have gone insane. I saw him—through that window—threatening Mr. Magnus there with a knife. Mr. Magnus was—I regret to say—reduced to kneeling for mercy and calling for the police—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_with shamefaced recollection_)

Oh, that was—that was—well—(_Looks to The Devil for assistance_)

THE DEVIL

That was only a little play we were rehearsing for charity. Don’t you understand—a rehearsal—Ha! Ha! A rehearsal!

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

That’s it—play—charity—rehearsal—

JUDGE CRITTY (_covered with confusion_)

I’m sure I’m sorry—

PEATTIE

I’m right glad—I’d hate to see Senator Agnus’s son in trouble. My apologies, Doctor—for these three New York detectives too—they just happened to be by when the Judge located me, and they came along to help me—thought it was something desperate. We’ll go—

FANNY (_furiously_)

One moment! I want that man punished. (_Points to Agnus on the sofa_) For the second time today—you saw him—he has grossly insulted me!

[_Peattie looks around, taken aback._

FANNY (_stamping her foot_)

I want him punished, I say!

LIEUTENANT (_gruffly, pointing to Agnus’s buried face_) Looks guilty, Cap. Trying to hide like that the minute he sees the police.

PEATTIE (_takes one quick step forward and jerks Agnus to his feet_) Here, what about this? Can’t have ladies insulted hereabouts, you know.

LIEUTENANT (_with a sudden change of face_)

By God, boys—the anarchist! (_Draws revolver_)

[_The women scream. The two detectives draw their revolvers also._

PEATTIE

What? Him? The fellow you been looking for all day? (_Still holding Agnus by the collar_)

LIEUTENANT

That’s the bird!

[_Peattie lets loose Agnus and draws ancient-looking Colt’s revolver, which he points at him. Agnus is now ringed around by four men with levelled weapons._

LIEUTENANT (_taking out handcuffs_)

Throw up your hands, Henry Schwartzenhopfel—

[_Agnus throws up his hands._

LIEUTENANT

Fan him for artillery, Hennessy.

[_The Second Detective is about to search Agnus._

THE DEVIL

Stop! (_All stare at The Devil_) _He’s my friend._

PEATTIE

But, Doc—he’s a dynamiter—

THE DEVIL

No matter, stop!

LIEUTENANT

Listen, Mister—Doctor—whoever you are—you can’t give orders to the Law—

THE DEVIL

Yes, I can; and the Law can give them to you. And it does; now! There’s the Law. (_Points to Schwartzenhopfel_) The man who makes you a policeman; who makes your Chief of Police; your Commissioner; who makes Mayors, Governors, Presidents! You’re in the presence of Money, you oxen! Take off your hats _to_ it—and take your orders _from_ it—_Mr. John Magnus_—The Law.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_suddenly realizing his power_)

And I order you to let Henry Schwartzenhopfel alone, now and all the time. Schwartzenhopfel (_with his hand on Agnus’s shoulder_) is _my_ friend, too.

DETECTIVES (_moving away in awe_)

_John_ Magnus!

FANNY (_throwing her arms around The Devil, whose look of triumph changes to one of hopeless dismay_)

My Hero!

CURTAIN

THE THIRD ACT

_The same room as before, and immediately following the preceding situation—not even a few seconds later, for the Detectives and the Constable are just putting away their revolvers._

_Doll Blondin, her admiration for The Devil growing, looks triumphant as he irritably disengages Fanny’s embrace. Some hope is revived in Doll of being rid of her._

_Fanny’s look is grimly determined._

_Agnus, relieved from a terrible situation, looks for the first time gratefully at The Devil._

_Schwartzenhopfel, feeling his power as Magnus and enjoying it, has assumed an air of enormous importance—by the simple method of flattening his jowls on the collar and clearing his throat, thus deepening his voice._

_Judge Critty is divided between his desire to serve Magnus and his horror at open defiance of the Law—when he knows Magnus is aware that the Law could have been circumvented secretly. He has the air of saying, “Why didn’t you tell me, and I’d have arranged it.” Also his manner is extra-apologetic and anxious, for he has blundered, and he fears the loss of Magnus’s good offices._

_The three detectives are blankly dismayed at having crossed the path of one so powerful as Magnus. They are anxious to retreat, but realize that some concessions must be made to the conventions._

_St. Elmo Peattie, the Sheriff, is simply confounded: for he is an honest villager, fearing God, and, consequently, no man. He is shocked at The Devil daring to put any man—Magnus, Taft, Wilson, Morgan, Rockefeller, or even Roosevelt—above the Law. Though he has no authority in the matter—the warrants being in the Lieutenant’s hands—Peattie feels called upon to protest in the name of civic dignity, and to uphold the faith of his fathers—the faith in which Jefferson wrote; on which Burr, a Vice-President, was convicted of treason; for which Washington fought and Nathan Hale died._

PEATTIE (_to the Detectives_)

What’s gone wrong, pardners? Why don’t you handcuff that there dynamiter?

LIEUTENANT (_roughly_)

What dynamiter?

PEATTIE (_points to Agnus_)

Fellow you’ve been hunting for all day—

LIEUTENANT (_taking out his note-book_)

Will you swear he’s a dynamiter?

PEATTIE

I ain’t never heard of him before. How’ll _I_ swear?

LIEUTENANT (_trying to make his tone official by speaking sternly, as if determined to get at evidence_)

You’ve seen him about the village every day?

PEATTIE

Sure—but—

LIEUTENANT

Just answer my questions: how has he behaved?

PEATTIE

I see him going into Pete Mellish’s and into Gus Hobbs’s—

LIEUTENANT (_with heavy constabulary levity_)

And—did he try to dynamite—er—Pete Jellyfish—or Corn Cob’s—whatever their names are?

PEATTIE

Hush, man! Pete’s our grocer. Gus’s our butcher. Prisoner’s human, ain’t he? He’s got to eat—

LIEUTENANT (_making note_)

Bought groceries and meat daily. (_Relieved_) Well, that ain’t criminal.

PEATTIE (_sulkily_)

I never see him dynamite nobody, if that’s what you’re trying to get at. Allus bin civil enough to me. Gi’me a cigar once.

LIEUTENANT (_poising pencil with same heavy police humor_) Ah! Cigar! Loaded?

PEATTIE (_annoyed_)

No, ’twarn’t. ’Twas as good as any two fer a nickel I ever bought myself.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_scandalized as he remembers the episode and the price_) Two for a nickel! It was a—(_Pulls himself up sharply_)

LIEUTENANT (_explaining apologetically, supposing the outbreak to be due to a millionaire’s ignorance of such cheap matters_) An expression, Mr. Magnus—“twofera nickel” is two cigars for five cents. Rubes smoke ’em.

PEATTIE (_angry_)

Rubes, eh? Well, thank Joshyouway, I ain’t a New Yorker, mister—where every next fella’s a Harp or a Ginny, a Kike or a Polack; where haff of ’em don’t even talk Amurrican. (_Turning to The Devil, who has been listening with approval_) Doctor Agnus, be ashamed of yourself! I’m older’n you: old enough to be Sheriff here when your daddy was Senator. And your dad, young gentleman, he told me to arrest old Commodore Vanderbilt. Yes, sir—the Commodore—driving his hosses too fast ‘long Main Street, endangerin’ lives and limbs of old women and children. Your dad, he sez: “St. Elmo, no matter who he is, any _big_ man that breaks laws is _little_.” _Little_, yes, sir; and why? “Because,” says your dad, the Honnible Maxwell Agnus, “because, Sheriff, people who don’t know no better is goin’to say: ‘If the biggest man in the country breaks laws then them laws ’es no good’—and so,” sez your dad, “ignorant people start breakin’ ’em too—” and, sez he, “the law’s like a brick barn, Sheriff; taking one brick out makes the walls git weak and, pritty soon, the whole blamed thing starts tumbling down.”

THE DEVIL (_interested_)

And did the Honorable Maxwell Agnus get elected to the Senate again after telling you to arrest the biggest man in the country?

PEATTIE

Betcha he did! People was different then. They was Amurricans. And when they found out why the Commodore hated your dad; why he was tryin’to keep him outa office agin; why, they just swan to goodness _that_ was the sorta fella they wanted in Congress—what would take up for the weak agin’ the strong. He was Senator pritty nigh fifteen years after—

THE DEVIL (_smiling_)

And then?

PEATTIE (_reluctantly_)

Wa-al _then_. Then that there Eye-talian colony got so big over to Cove Neck, and, seeing as how their votes war only a dollar apiece and a kiss for the babies, why, our votes warn’t strong enough to beat the politicians.

THE DEVIL

You see, money has a long memory, Sheriff. And it always wins in the end.

PEATTIE

But think of all the good he done in them fifteen years.

THE DEVIL

With the result that the railroad doesn’t run within seven miles of this village and the population has fallen to two thousand inhabitants.

PEATTIE (_sulkily_)

Wa-al—we’re all Amurricans, anyway. It kept the Eye-talians and the Polacks _out_. You—can’t—buy—votes—here—and _he_ (_points to Schwartzenhopfel, meaning Magnus_) can’t scare anybody like he kin New Yorkers. (_He jerks his head with a sneer at the Detectives_) Keeping ’em from arresting the man they’re sent to git—a furriner—not Amurrican, mind—a cowardly furriner that blows people up. Magnus, nor twenty Magnuses couldn’t keep me from doing my dooty on sich a villin—couldn’t keep any real Amurrican. (_Turning to the Detectives_) I’ll bet you folks ain’t Amurricans?

LIEUTENANT (_who all along has spoken with an Irish accent, and now, when violently angry, speaks with a pronounced brogue_) Go on, ye scut! (_He makes threatening motion at him_)

PEATTIE (_triumphantly_)

Amurrican! Huhnh? (_To second Detective_) And you?

SECOND DETECTIVE (_excitedly_)

I haf my naduraladion pabers got us goot as you or any udder man—

PEATTIE (_more triumphantly_)

Amurrican! Hey? (_To the third Detective_) And you?

THIRD DETECTIVE (_trying to speak carefully_)

I—was—born—in—New—York—

[_Peattie slaps thigh and grins unbelievingly._

THIRD DETECTIVE (_angrily_)

By your lave, Lootenant, I’ll—(_Losing his temper, he takes a step forward_)

PEATTIE (_clapping his hands in glee_)

You see? Not an Amurrican in the lot. (_To The Devil_) And so it’s with such cattle—and with anarchists—for just as your dad said of the Commodore, he’s (_points to Schwartzenhopfel, meaning Magnus_) as much of an anarchist as him (_points to Agnus, meaning Schwartzenhopfel_)—it’s with such—that the son of my old Senator has truck today. Good day to you, sir, and (_sorrowfully_) may you learn better before you come to my age.

[_He goes out._

THE DEVIL (_to Judge Critty, indicating Detectives_)

See that these fellows are paid something to keep their mouths shut—

LIEUTENANT (_protesting_)

Now, Doctor—you know—

THE DEVIL

Pshaw! No nonsense, my man! That old fellow just gone is worth the lot of you. With such men in your shoes, we’d hear no more talk of police graft and extortion.

LIEUTENANT (_sarcastically, pointing to Agnus_)

We’ll take this fellow if it’ll please you better—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_thoroughly enjoying himself_)

Keep your tongue quiet, policeman!—Here! (_Takes out a handful of bills and gives them to Judge_) Give ’em these. (_He looks for approval toward The Devil, who nods_) Now get out: the lot of you!

LIEUTENANT (_hurt_)

That’s no kind of language to use to men doing their best to favor you, Mr. Magnus. And, as for the money, that’s an insult—

THE DEVIL

I suppose you want it sent mysteriously? From an unknown benefactor who loves your fat housewife and your ugly babies. Well—you’ll—take—it—this way—(_He has snatched the bills from the Judge while talking and separated them into three parts; now he forces one on the Lieutenant_)

[_The Lieutenant pretends to push them away._

THE DEVIL (_finishing_)—or—not at all—(_He looks at Schwartzenhopfel to back him up_)

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_importantly_)

Or not at all—

[_The Lieutenant hesitates, but takes the money shamefacedly. The two Detectives repeat his actions and manners._

LIEUTENANT (_to Schwartzenhopfel diffidently, after looking at the women, the Judge and Agnus_) I suppose (_humbly_) there’ll be no come-back to this? It’s value received, ain’t it, sir?

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Yes. Get out.

LIEUTENANT

Yes, sir. (_He tips his hat and goes out on tip-toe_)

SECOND AND THIRD DETECTIVES (_in the same manner_)

Yes, sir. (_They go out_)

JUDGE CRITTY (_to Schwartzenhopfel_)

Such actions cause talk, sir—

THE DEVIL

If I’ve promoted even the germ of Socialism in those robber-barons’men-at-arms, I’m satisfied—

JUDGE CRITTY (_stiffly_)

I was not addressing you, Doctor Agnus—

THE DEVIL

Don’t try that fake dignity with me, you hoary-headed old fraud, because you haven’t the moral dignity back of it to hold you up. Get out, you arrant knave! (_Catches Schwartzenhopfel’s eye_)

JUDGE CRITTY (_dumfounded_)

Mr. Magnus—will you allow me to be so insulted by this cockerel? He’s either drunk or crazy.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_softly motioning The Devil to wait_) Didn’t you say once, Judge, that to properly punish anarchists they should not be hanged but burned?

JUDGE CRITTY (_with swelling dignity, thinking that Magnus is recalling the incident favorably_) I certainly did, Mr. Magnus.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

You didn’t say anything about the causes that make them anarchists, though—did you? (_Catching The Devil’s eye_) But how about a six-months’ strike prolonged because millionaires wouldn’t pay fifty cents more a day to men who work with hot rivets two hundred feet in the air—twenty-five per cent of them killed every year? How about the wives of those strikers who died of overwork and little food trying to support homes and husbands until employers gave in? How about their children who died unborn—eh? Who was it murdered wives and children? And who, after six months, still refused even to compromise? Was it any wonder that men went crazy? Murder for murder—they said—murder for murder. Schwartzenhopfel had such a wife, such children, all dead now, and he shouted: Dynamite, the worker’s friend! (_Fiercely to the Judge_) And so it isn’t enough to hang him? You’ve got to burn him, have you? Well, what about the men who took an honest workman and made him what he is today?

JUDGE CRITTY (_frantically_)

Mr. Magnus—

[_The Devil goes to the garden door, opens it and points the way out._

JUDGE CRITTY (_nervously, suddenly changing his attitude_) Mr. Magnus, your admission delights me—for the first time in my relations with you, I—I find it—possible—to—to—be—to be—perfectly natural with you. You cannot blame me for being a hypocrite. If you will pardon me, sir: who made me a hypocrite?—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_disgruntled_)

I didn’t tell you to burn anarchists, did I?

JUDGE CRITTY

Pardon me, sir—theoretically, no; but practically, yes, you did. If my bench orations hadn’t been passionately opposed to everything that even threatened the divine right of capital, why, you wouldn’t be considering me for the Supreme Bench now. How can a lawyer succeed nowadays except through capital?

THE DEVIL (_closes door and stands with his back to it_)

True enough, Magnus; true enough—(_Looks at the light, which has hung gravely suspended through these operations_)

THE DEVIL

The greedy millionaire criminal makes all the little criminals. He needs men like this hypocrite here (_pointing to the Judge_)—needs them to save corporations from fines, their officers from jail—with that damnable word “unconstitutional”; just as he needs Senators to make trust laws easy to break; Governors to sign exemptions and pardons; aldermen to steal city franchises; bosses to elect those aldermen to order; murdering gangsters to kill honest voting; and police who will permit the gangsters to steal, pimp and kill, and who share in their spoils. (_Still addressing the light_) And every crime of the lot—yes—don’t shrink from your guilt—even the stealing, the pimping, and the killing—is the fault of the greedy millionaire. (_Pointing to the Judge_) Even that might have been a man—

JUDGE CRITTY (_anxiously_)

But, Mr. Magnus—

THE DEVIL

No hypocrite may be trusted upon the Supreme Bench, Judge.

[_Schwartzenhopfel nods._

JUDGE CRITTY (_wildly_)

You use me—cast me aside—

THE DEVIL

Just what a prostitute would say when the man to whose worst passions she has pandered seeks to be clean again and casts her off. (_He opens the door again and points_) Get out! (_He fixes the unhappy Judge with his eyes. Unable to resist, the Judge follows the slowly pointing finger and goes out_)

DOLL BLONDIN (_whose admiration for The Devil has grown quickly, as evidenced by the expression on her face as she has sat listening almost with awe_) You are some man—believe me!

FANNY (_turns quickly on her at this danger-note in her voice, and speaks with an effort at politeness_) You said you would not like a certain party to hear a certain story—

[_The Devil, being recalled to this situation, looks hopelessly around._

DOLL BLONDIN

Let the certain party go—

FANNY (_glares at her_)

What?

DOLL BLONDIN (_glares back_)

I wouldn’t stay where I wasn’t wanted if I were some people—

FANNY

And I suppose you think you are wanted?

[_Doll Blondin smiles aggravatingly._

FANNY

What?

DOLL BLONDIN

I’ve been asked to stay anyhow. That’s more’n some people have—

FANNY

Addington! You’ll let this woman insult me?

THE DEVIL

Certainly, my dear.

DOLL BLONDIN

You see—(_She spreads hands and her manner becomes still more aggravating_)

FANNY

I’ll go and get mother. Even she will see who’s in the wrong now. When I’m prepared to give up everything for you—

THE DEVIL

But you aren’t—

FANNY (_wildly_)

I am. You needn’t even have a flat in town. I’ll stay here. Why, I’ll even live on your income.

THE DEVIL

You only say that until you get me safely married.

FANNY (_beside herself_)

I swear it. Addington—I didn’t realize how much I loved you until I saw you save your friend (_points to Agnus_); heard you defy those policemen, and—then—the way you talked to that nasty old Judge. Oh! I want you—I love you—

THE DEVIL (_stepping back to avoid an embrace_)

Well, you can’t have me!

DOLL BLONDIN

You see—(_Spreads her hands as before_)

FANNY

You give me up—for this woman?

THE DEVIL (_desperately_)

Yes!

FANNY (_suddenly realizing she is combating Fate_)

Oh, Addington, Addington, Addington—I love you—I love you—(_She bursts into real tears; there is no tragedy in her attitude now, no affectation, no theatricalism—just real sorrow and regret_)

AGNUS (_wildly to The Devil_) You must explain! You must! You must!

THE DEVIL (_whispering_)

Who’d believe us? We’d all be clapped into a lunatic asylum. Is one woman to stand in the way of science—a big step in world-regeneration? Think, man! One woman against a million better men? For the sake of humanity—think!

[_Agnus turns away. It is his tragic moment; his face should be that of a combined Hamlet and King Lear—for, while to others Fanny is comedic, to him she represents earthly happiness. Fanny continues her sobbing like an animal in pain. Doll Blondin looks troubled, but stands her ground._

THE DEVIL (_awkwardly_)

See here, Fanny—

FANNY (_trying to stem, her tears_)

Yes, dear—

THE DEVIL

It isn’t any woman—it’s my work. It needs me—all of me—

DOLL BLONDIN

Then you don’t love me?

THE DEVIL (_impatiently_)

Of course not. I only just saw you—didn’t I?

FANNY

You don’t love her? Your work? You’re giving me up for—

THE DEVIL

The good of humanity, Fanny—

FANNY (_forgetting tears_)

Ah, I knew you were too noble, Addington, too big to jilt me for another woman. “For the good of humanity!” That’s different. We’ll work together, dear. I’ll help, not hinder.

[_The Devil groans._

FANNY

You’ve brought out my true nature. I’m changed. I see now how hateful I was.

THE DEVIL

Fanny—

FANNY

Yes, dear—

THE DEVIL

No!

[_Doll Blondin catches his eye above Fanny’s head and winks hopefully._

THE DEVIL (_to Doll, in the same tone_)

No!

[_Mrs. Felix and Tromper enter, bundled up for motoring. They are followed by Magnus’s chauffeur and his valet carrying motoring coats._

VALET

Miss Felix, miss! (_He holds up her coat_)

[_Fanny inserts her arms mechanically in sleeves._

TROMPER (_grumpily, showing his watch to Schwartzenhopfel_) I took the liberty of getting ready to go back, Mr. Magnus. I thought you’d forgotten the time.

VALET

You have an appointment for dinner with Mr. Gayton, sir.

[_Schwartzenhopfel looks blank._

VALET

You know, sir—the Secretary of the Treasury—

[_The Devil nudges Schwartzenhopfel._

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_arrogantly_)

The Secretary must wait; that’s all! I’m staying here tonight.

THE DEVIL (_sotto voce to Agnus, indicating Tromper_)

Who’s he?

[_Agnus whispers the information in a thoroughly miserable manner._

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_to the chauffeur_)

You take these ladies back to New York. (_To the valet_) You go with him and bring me some clothes back.

THE DEVIL

Enough for a week or so.

[_The light shows that it is struck motionless by this last statement._

And now, Mrs. Felix, good-bye! Come and see me some time. I’ll find a husband for you yet.

[_The light flirts across his eyes._

THE DEVIL (_looks at it meditatively_)

I don’t know but what you’re right, Magnus. After I start training you—she might be able to complete the training—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_viewing Mrs. Felix with approval_) Suits me!

[_The light darts as viciously at Schwartzenhopfel as the latter once did when he was in Magnus’s condition._

THE DEVIL (_to the light_)

I meant you—Magnus—

[_The light hovers, sullenly suspicious._

THE DEVIL (_to all_)

And—now—good day to all of you. Schwartzenhopfel and I are about to do some important work together. (_Puts his arm on Agnus’s shoulder_) So we must ask you to excuse us.

DOLL BLONDIN

And what about me?

THE DEVIL

Aren’t the rooms good?

[_Doll Blondin nods._

THE DEVIL

And the food?

[_Doll Blondin nods again._

THE DEVIL

And the service?

DOLL BLONDIN

Yes—but—

THE DEVIL

Then what about you? And as for amusement: why, there’s Magnus. (_He points to Schwartzenhopfel. Then he goes, almost dragging Agnus with him_)

[_Agnus’s head is turned, with lack-lustre eyes, toward Fanny. They pass out through the folding-doors, closing these behind them._

TROMPER (_whose indignation has been mounting, now vents himself explosively_) Well, damn his nerve! I beg your pardon, ladies. Mr. Magnus, you let a whippersnapper doctor talk that way to you? You! Why, sir, I wouldn’t—I actually wouldn’t permit you to talk that way to me!

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_viciously_)

You wouldn’t?

TROMPER (_nervously_)

With all respect: no, sir.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Then you’re discharged.

TROMPER (_thunderstruck_)

Have you gone crazy, Mr. Magnus? Discharged? After twenty-five years’service? After saving you hundreds of thousands of dollars?

MRS. FELIX (_putting her hand on his shoulder_)

John, that’s petty! That’s small, John. I never knew you to be petty or small before.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_to Mrs. Felix_)

Wait! (_To Tromper_) Saving? How?

TROMPER (_stuttering_)

Why, the Churchstead strike alone—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_militantly_)

Strike! Ha! Go on! What did you do?

TROMPER (_miserably_)

You know well enough what I did, sir—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Tell me anyhow—

TROMPER

I locked ’em out, the bums!

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

What did they want? Just union rates, union hours; white men’s pay, white men’s hours; not nigger slaves—?

MRS. FELIX (_admiringly_)

Bravo, John! You ’re shaping up!

[_The light moves closer, as if listening intently._

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_nodding_)

I told you to wait! (_To Tromper_) You beat them, didn’t you?

TROMPER

And a tough job! Strike-breakers weren’t enough—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_to Mrs. Felix_)

New York thugs, gunmen—with brass knuckles, hand spikes, and automatics—licensed to bruise, maim and kill—

TROMPER

Weren’t the strikers breaking windows and burning fences? Didn’t they threaten to burn the works?

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Fighting for their children and their homes, they were—for the right to have more than cattle or pigs—more than a place to sleep—and enough food to keep them working. Food! Ha! Like gasoline put into a motor-car—

TROMPER

I was fighting to save you money—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Against the men you used to work with, side by side, your own blood-brothers—

TROMPER

No brothers of mine, those sweating, smelly ignorant dogs! I might have been born one. That wasn’t _my_ fault. But I didn’t stay one.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

No, and I’ll bet I know why. Because you spied on them, carried tales, for little foreman jobs, and sweated more work out of them.

TROMPER (_bitterly_)

Always saving you money—

MRS. FELIX (_to Schwartzenhopfel_)

You see, John: all crime, bloodshed, murder finally comes back to yourself. He said it: “_Always saving you money_.”

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

I’m going to change all that. Consequently I don’t need his sort any more.

MRS. FELIX (_delightedly_)

You are? (_Suspiciously_) But so suddenly—what’s changed you?

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_points toward the laboratory_) The—(_corrects himself_) D—Doctor. (_Enthusiastically_) The trouble about us human beings is that we don’t know nothing about nothing—

MRS. FELIX

Can’t you be moral and retain your grammar?

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_disregarding her, enthusiastically_) Then he comes along (_pointing toward laboratory_) and shows us that millionaires on one hand—anarchists on the other—are one part right, ninety-nine parts wrong—

FANNY (_bursts into wild tears again_)

And I’ve lost him! I’ve lost him!

[_Mrs. Felix comforts her._

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_to Tromper_)

How much have you saved? Not for me—for yourself?

TROMPER (_haughtily_)

I don’t save; I invest.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Worth half a million, aren’t you? Not above grafting some of that sweat-and-blood money you saved for me, are you?

TROMPER

I defy you to prove it. I defy anybody. I’ve been strictly honest.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

No matter, Tromper, no matter—you ’re fired! I never want to see your face again.

TROMPER

You’ll regret this the longest day you live, you—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Be careful. I still own the judges and the politicians. Don’t try to stand in my way, or I’ll job you into jail. Get out!

TROMPER (_suddenly whining_)

How am I to get back to New York?

MRS. FELIX (_touching Schwartzenhopfel’s shoulder_)

Don’t be little, John—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_repressing himself_)

The automobile will take you back. Wait for it at the Inn.

TROMPER (_thinking he is relenting_)

One word, sir—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Not one. (_Points to the door_)

[_Tromper goes out abjectedly._

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_turning suddenly to valet_)

What do I pay you?

VALET (_alarmed on behalf of his own position_)

Only a hundred a month, sir.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

And what you can steal, eh?

VALET (_earnestly_)

Mr. Magnus, sir.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Percentages from haberdashers and shirt-makers, tailors, bootmakers, jewellers. Double bills: one for me, one for you—you pocket the difference?

VALET (_astounded at his accuracy_)

Mr. Magnus, I swear—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Don’t perjure yourself. Take one hundred and fifty dollars a month—I’m buying back your self-respect with the extra fifty and giving it to you. But if you cheat again—remember, if you cheat again—jail!

VALET (_with tears in his eyes and choking voice_)

Sir—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Wait in there. (_Points to the door, and the valet goes out; then to chauffeur_) And I give you?

CHAUFFEUR (_trembling_)

One hundred and twenty-five dollars a month, sir.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

And the gasoline you take out every night and put back in the morning? The extra shoes that don’t wear out? The valve-cleaning and new parts that only figure in the bill? Other things—how much do they come to?

CHAUFFEUR

Mr. Magnus—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Don’t lie. Please—how much?

CHAUFFEUR (_whining_)

I don’t know, sir. Please—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Take one seventy-five and be a decent man—a skilled mechanic who respects himself and his craft too much to be a thief. Will that do?

CHAUFFEUR (_thickly_)

If they all treated us like that, nobuddy ’ud steal except dirty scoundrels, sir. (_Goes out_)

MRS. FELIX

You see: the generals make the morals of their soldiers. Let generals loot a church-treasure, and the privates will loot a hen-roost. Magnus steals a Subway. Therefore, his manager steals his profits, his valet steals his stickpins, his chauffeur his gasoline.

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Reform always begins at the top, _I_ know. The trouble with us—(_corrects himself_) with Socialists and anarchists—they try to begin reforms among the ignorant. It will take me many years to break even with my criminal misunderstanding.

MRS. FELIX (_suddenly touched_)

I’ll help you. (_In a whisper_) I love you, John—

[_The light jumps._

MRS. FELIX (_with her hand on his shoulder_)

I’ve always wanted to say “Yes”—always hoped for the day when your great brain would resent the petty use you were making of it—

[_Fanny does not hear this. For some time she has been sitting all humped up, staring blankly into space. Doll Blondin sits in same position, showing the same attitude, and the same lack of expression. The two of them look more like decorative statues than human beings, one on either side of the room. The light flies about distractedly. Mrs. Felix slowly drawing the startled Schwartzenhopfel around until he faces her and stares into her eyes._

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_stutters_)

When I’m—wor—worthy, I—I ’ll ask you to say “Yes” again—I don’t de—deserve you yet—

[_Doll Blondin turns wearily around to watch them. Fanny does the same. The light pauses, satisfied._

MRS. FELIX

John Magnus—you’re a great man at last— (_Smiling shyly, she practically offers her cheek to be kissed_) Remember _my_ worthless years, too, and _consider_ you’re worthy now—

[_The light begins again to fly about distractedly. Schwartzenhopfel looks at it apologetically before he bends over to kiss her. The light deliberately flashes between them. Both of them stand back dazzled._

MRS. FELIX (_blinking_)

What a powerful reflection! (_Smiling and holding out her hand to Schwartzenhopfel, she bends toward him again_)

[_The light again flashes between them._

MRS. FELIX (_as they stagger back again_)

What is it, John? I see no mirrors or lenses—

DOLL BLONDIN (_who has been watching the light in an awed way ever since she turned_) It doesn’t come from mirrors or lenses. (_In an awed tone_) There’s something queer about that light—almost as if it were human—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL

Non—nonsense!

MRS. FELIX (_noting his look_)

John Magnus! You—frightened?

DOLL BLONDIN (_pointing to the light_)

Look at it now, as though it was listening!

FANNY (_with a little cry_)

Mother! mother! Forgive me—

MRS. FELIX (_patting her hair_)

Forgive you—why, my dear?

FANNY (_shivering_)

I don’t know—but I’m afraid.—There’s something wrong in this house—

[_The light twitches as if trying to sneak out of the room._

FANNY (_with a little scream_)

Look at it—now!

[_The light stands still. The three women huddle together with that feminine instinct that prefers to die with its worst enemy rather than alone._

DOLL BLONDIN

Whenever he made a move to even touch you, it flew at him—

FANNY (_shrieking_)

It moved again!

[_Mrs. Felix clutches Schwartzenhopfel. Fanny gives another short scream. At that moment the folding-doors fly open and Agnus reënters quickly, disclosing The Devil inside._

THE DEVIL (_with his eye to microscope, examining slide_)

As well as I could do myself! Bravo! Bravissima!

AGNUS (_agitated_)

Can I do anything? (_Sees the tableau of the three frightened women, clinging to Schwartzenhopfel; his eyes follow theirs, and he sees that they are watching the light; then he falls back, holding his head_)

DOLL BLONDIN (_seeing Agnus’s look_)

See! He’s frightened, too.

THE DEVIL (_puts up the microscope and comes out_)

What’s wrong?

FANNY (_running to him_)

Addington, Addington!

DEVIL (_wearily_)

Not gone yet?

FANNY (_pointing to the light, which twitches sullenly_)

Addington, I’m frightened. What is it?

THE DEVIL (_shaken, but retaining his mastery_)

Oh—that? (_He tries to move over to the table and shake Fanny off_)

FANNY

Oh, Addington, don’t leave me! I’m frightened, I tell you, frightened!

THE DEVIL

I thought you wanted to know what that was?

MRS. FELIX }
}
What is it? }
}
DOLL BLONDIN }
}
Yes, what? } (_simultaneously_)
}
FANNY }
}
We do— }

THE DEVIL (_to Fanny in an irritated tone_)

Well, how can I explain while you hang on to me?—

FANNY

Just let me hold one hand—just your little finger—that’ll make me brave—

[_The Devil crosses to the table, scowling. Fanny tags after him, holding on to one of his fingers. The Devil looks sternly at the light. Then he turns to the women and touches the switch-key of the lighted electric cigar-lighter._

THE DEVIL

When I turn this off, it will disappear! (_He waits for Magnus to understand. Then, showily, he snaps off the electric-lighter, bending down as if it required some effort_) You see?

[_The light does not budge._

DOLL BLONDIN (_since Fanny is looking admiringly at The Devil and Mrs. Felix is hiding her head on Schwartzenhopfel’s shoulder_)

But it didn’t work!—

THE DEVIL (_looking up and seeing it, nonplussed and desperate_)

No?

DOLL BLONDIN

No. There it is. See?

THE DEVIL (_boldly_)

Nonsense. (_He fixes her with his eyes_) It’s gone: d’you hear? It’s gone!

DOLL BLONDIN (_fascinatedly watching him_)

It’s gone?

MRS. FELIX

But _I_ see it!

THE DEVIL (_fixing her with his eyes_)

Nonsense. It’s gone, d’you hear? Gone!

MRS. FELIX (_with the same expression as Doll_)

Gone?

[_Fanny looks up._

THE DEVIL (_catching her eye before she can look at the light_) You see, it’s gone, don’t you? Gone?

FANNY (_in the same manner as others_)

Gone?

THE DEVIL

And now, why haven’t _you_—gone?

FANNY

And leave her in the house? (_Nodding toward Doll_)

THE DEVIL

Is it your house?

FANNY (_boldly_)

Yes, it is!

THE DEVIL (_taken aback_)

What?

FANNY

Our house! (_Sweetly_) And, Addington, dear: it could be mine if I sued you for breach of promise! You know I’d win—your letters are so dear! And the engagement announcement that was in all the papers—and our pictures together in that Sunday Supplement—I can’t imagine where they get those pictures, can you? Framed heart-shape with the dearest little Cupids shooting arrows at us—you know, how you loved it—

THE DEVIL (_revolted_)

I loved it!

FANNY (_continuing_)

And your money’s in trust, dear. You can’t touch the principal. So you’d have to sell this house to pay my damages. And you know I wouldn’t let you sell it, not to strangers—I’d just come and live in it, going about every day and kissing things I knew your dear hands had touched, and sitting in your favorite places, waiting for the day you’d come back and we’d sit there together!

[_The Devil grits his teeth._

FANNY (_almost cloyingly sweet_)

Oh, you could come here every day and work in your laboratory. I’d let you—you’d be quite welcome—

DOLL BLONDIN (_her sense of humor triumphing_)

You’re some sticker, sister—I gotta hand it to you. Talk about glue!

THE DEVIL (_desperately_)

You wouldn’t do that—your womanly instinct—your sense of shame—your position in society—

DOLL BLONDIN

No use grasping at straws like that, Doctor. You’re gone!

MRS. FELIX (_in wonderment_)

I never imagined she had it in her. (_Mildly_) There’s no doubt she loves you, Addington. No girl would endure the insults you’ve heaped on her today—(_hastily_) not that she didn’t deserve them—

FANNY (_naïvely_)

I did—I was a selfish beast—

MRS. FELIX

She wouldn’t have admitted she was a beast just now—unless she loved you—madly—

THE DEVIL (_bitterly_)

She knows I’ve got a check for two million in my pocket—

FANNY

Oh, I know I deserve that, too. But I wish you didn’t have the old check just to prove to you—

THE DEVIL

You do?

FANNY (_hastily_)

No. I don’t mean that. Forgive me for being selfish. The check means triumph for your work—

THE DEVIL (_grinning maliciously_)

Means houses in New York, and motors, and private railroad cars, and boxes at the opera, too, doesn’t it?

FANNY (_earnestly_)

Addington, I’d be content to live on the top of a mountain if I had you, dear.

THE DEVIL

That’s all right as a popular song, darling! (_He grits his teeth again_)

AGNUS (_in agony_)

She means it, can’t you see? She’s changed. The fear of losing the man she loves has made her forget all the little things—realizing that the only big thing is—love!—

FANNY

Oh, Mr. Schwartzenhopfel, you have loved! _You_ understand. Make _him_ understand—

THE DEVIL (_to Agnus_)

You sentimental idiot! You think she means it, do you?

AGNUS (_boldly_)

I know it!

DOLL BLONDIN (_herself touched_)

Honest, Doctor, I believe she does.

[_Fanny looks gratefully at them._

THE DEVIL (_desperately_)

You see this? (_He thrusts the check under her nose_) What is it?

FANNY

The two-million-dollar check.

THE DEVIL

All right. (_He puts it in her hand_) Tear it up!

FANNY (_paling_)

But—Addington—your work—

THE DEVIL (_with a sneer to Agnus_)

You see? (_To Doll_) See?

FANNY (_joyously_)

I see, too! It’s wrong, but it makes me the happiest girl in the world.

THE DEVIL (_exasperated_)

What does?

FANNY

It’s wicked for me to feel that way—I know I shouldn’t.—Forgive me.

THE DEVIL (_shouting_)

What damned mare’s-nest have you foisted on me this time? What’s the latest crazy eroticism you’re going to pretend to see in me?

FANNY

Don’t swear, dear. You’re above it. But as for the check: I understand and I love you the more for it.

THE DEVIL (_shouting louder_)

Love me the more? By Saturn! this is too much—this passes all endurance—

FANNY

You’re angry because I’ve discovered your secret. Because you know now that I know that no matter how much you try to make your work come first, you can’t.

THE DEVIL (_swearing wildly_)

Oh, Jupiter! Oh, the Pleiades! Oh, the Milky Way, the Crab, and the Gemini!—Where under the light of the sun or in the bowels of the earth—in what corner of a lunatic asylum did you find that colossal, preposterous and utterly insane hallucination of a disordered brain?

FANNY

In your heart, dear—in your heart. This morning I made you give up work that was dearer to you than life. You promised. Your better nature made you break that promise. Then I came again, tempting you; threatening to leave you forever. Your heart betrayed you again. And—when I was gone—you loathed yourself for your weakness.

THE DEVIL (_reduced to the frigid politeness of a man who realizes he will be stricken with apoplexy if he allows his feelings to get the better of him again_) I—I see—and now I should like to know—what was the President of China thinking while in his bath this morning?—

FANNY (_placidly, seeing, in his loss of control her own dominance of the situation_) Don’t sneer, darling. You loathed yourself for giving in to me a second time. “Even though my heart is broken, I will cast her out of it,” you said sternly.

THE DEVIL

Just like the kind of novels you read, wasn’t it?

FANNY

You had been so modest, dear, that I didn’t realize you were a great man. That was your fault. “She doesn’t love me,” you said, “or she’d want me to go on winning Nobel prizes and _being_ a great man. All _she_ loves is the money I can make.” (_Triumphantly_) Am I right? Isn’t that what you thought?

THE DEVIL (_wildly_)

You’re never right! And I never think.

AGNUS

You are right—you are!

THE DEVIL (_looking morosely at him_)

I’ll settle with you later—

[_Agnus, terrified, remains silent._

FANNY

Don’t be ashamed to concede a woman’s wit, dear. It’s all your teaching. Today you taught me to use my brain. “All she loves is the money I can make,” you said—

THE DEVIL

You said I said that once—

FANNY (_unheeding_)

And you _still_ believe it? Don’t you?

THE DEVIL

Yes.

FANNY

I know you do. That’s why you gave me the check. Sooner than marry me—thinking that I was playing a part until I could get control of the two million dollars—sooner than be married for your money you said: “Tear it up.” And that shows you love me more than your work, more than your future fame, more than the gratitude of the world—more than humanity—more than everything. And it makes me love you more than ever. (_She takes his hand_)

THE DEVIL (_almost in a shrill scream_)

Love me more than ever?

FANNY (_hurt_)

You don’t believe in me, yet?

THE DEVIL (_as before_)

No! No! No!

FANNY

Then—I’m sorry for you. Sorry for your work, your fame, your future. But if I can’t make you believe in me any other way, why—then—here goes. (_She twists up the check, strikes a match and lights it; following an old childish game, she says_) He loves me, he loves me not; loves me, loves me not. (_The flame scorches her fingers, but she holds it long enough to say_) He loves me! (_Then she throws the last blazing bit into ash-receiver and throws her arms around The Devil_)

MRS. FELIX (_judicially_)

I think now—Addington—you can be sure!

THE DEVIL (_wrenching himself free_)

Damn it!—Doesn’t she know that if Magnus will write one check, he’ll write another!

FANNY (_her lip drawn_)

Oh, I forgot that! I forgot that! (_Sobbing on her mother’s breast_) Oh, mammy, what can I do to prove it to him? This is my punishment—this is my punishment!

DOLL BLONDIN (_to The Devil, herself in tears_)

She’s on the square with that stuff, old boy. Don’t be a devil!

THE DEVIL (_suddenly realizing_)

A devil: that’s what I am—a devil. No human being would act as I’m doing, would he?

DOLL BLONDIN (_judicially_)

Oh, you’ll come out of it, now you see the girl’s all right, won’t you?

THE DEVIL

But suppose I didn’t?

DOLL BLONDIN (_indignantly_)

Then you _would_ be a devil! Not fit to associate with human beings.

FANNY (_crying to her mother_)

Can’t you think of something I can do to prove I’m not the same girl who came here this morning?

MRS. FELIX (_crying_)

It’s my fault. If I’d been a good mother, instead of a good bridge player—

AGNUS (_agonizedly_)

Oh! for God’s sake! Can’t something be done? I’ll kill myself—

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_who has also been moved, says now sharply_) Here, here! (_In a hoarse whisper_) Don’t you go taking such liberties with what don’t belong to you.

THE DEVIL (_who has been musing on what Doll has said_)

Not fit to associate with human beings. No, I guess not. (_Looking at Schwartzenhopfel_) I should have remained the Dutchman with no human ties. Sentiment and romance just make me ill.

DOLL BLONDIN (_indignantly_)

Shame on you! (_She goes over to comfort the other two women_)

THE DEVIL (_still musing_)

I suppose that’s how The Devil got his bad name. Trying to cure Faust of Marguerite in order to use him for the world’s advancement. Same ingratitude, same mix-up; everybody calling me names. (_Sharply to Schwartzenhopfel, who has listened_) Very incorrectly reported, even at that—very unjustly—that Faust affair. Those stupid Germans—when they’re not drinking themselves into sentimental poetry, the ravings of a disordered brain, they’re guzzling themselves into gloomy philosophy—the pessimism of a disordered liver—and the fellow who wrote up the Faust-Marguerite case had both maladies (_viciously_) in their most virulent form! And that’s what most humans get their idea of me from—when, actually, the case was just about like this one—(_meditatively_) I wonder what I did to straighten things out that time? (_Meditates_)

[_All the others watch him in awe._

FANNY (_lifting a tear-stained face, whispers_)

What is he saying, mammy? Is it about me?

THE DEVIL (_giving the Faust matter up_)

No use, I forget—

AGNUS (_piteously_)

You _will_ do something, won’t you?

THE DEVIL (_sadly_)

I suppose I ’ll have to. Humanity has to suffer as usual. Sentiment, always sentiment, maudlin sentiment: that’s what keeps abuses unrectified, men ignorant, women slaves, the world’s intellect developing no faster than a snail crawls. Sentiment—maudlin sentiment—and I’ve lived so long among men that the cancer’s in me, too—

AGNUS

You have got a heart then—they did wrong you. I’ll devote years to setting you right in the eyes of the world.

THE DEVIL

What?

AGNUS (_stammering_)

A book!

THE DEVIL (_harshly_)

Set _me_ right in men’s eyes? Have _my_ conduct applauded by stupid human beings? When the world applauds anybody whole-heartedly, without a dissenting voice, be sure he’s a fool or a knave! Your whole being has been in arms against me ever since I came to bring you wisdom. Now that you think there’s a chance I’ll let you be a fool again, you talk of setting me right! Let me be or I’ll repent it. (_To Fanny_) What would you do if I made you realize that I don’t and can’t love you?

FANNY

I know you do.

THE DEVIL

But you can’t make me marry you?

FANNY

You wouldn’t want the scandal of a suit discrediting you with the world?

THE DEVIL

You’d do that, loving me?

FANNY (_gently_)

To bring you to your senses. You would be unhappy without me.

THE DEVIL

And unhappy with you.

FANNY

Not after the change that has come over me today.

THE DEVIL (_throwing up both hands_)

Useless—useless! I give in—I’m vanquished.

FANNY

Love conquers all, dear—

THE DEVIL

Oh, those damned novels! (_Fending her off_) Wait! Go in there! The three of you. (_He points to the hall door_) Tell the chauffeur to get ready to go back to New York, Fanny.

FANNY

One kiss, dear!

[_The Devil sighs heavily as he permits it._

FANNY (_in rapture_)

My dear one! My dearest!

[_The Devil points to door. Fanny goes with Mrs. Felix._

THE DEVIL (_to Doll_)

You, too!

[_Doll Blondin shrugs her shoulders and goes after the other two women._

THE DEVIL (_throwing himself down in utter weariness_)

I give in. I must find another body—go through another sentimental riot before I can begin my work here again. Bernard Shaws don’t grow in every village or every London. (_He rises and crosses toward the window_) Oh, Mars! Mars! I’m homesick again. (_He stretches out his hands_) Only a day away from you, and homesick already: homesick, how homesick I am—

AGNUS (_trembling eagerly_)

I know, we’re not advanced enough for you yet. Why don’t you go back and wait until we are?

THE DEVIL (_turning on him with a terrible look_)