Chapter XLVII: Book XXX: Argument (1)

Most of the commentators seem to be agreed that the subject of
this book was "matrimonial life." Mercer considers that it
contained an altercation between a married couple, in which
the lady strenuously refuses to submit to the lawful authority
of her husband. Van Heusde says that in it were depicted the
miseries of married life generally; especially of those husbands
who are so devoted to their wives, that they surrender the reins
of government into the hands of those, for whom the law compels
them to provide subsistence, not only at the expense of their
own personal labor, but also at the risk of life itself: the
only return which they receive as an equivalent from the hands
of their wives, being opprobrious language, ill temper, haughty
exaction, treachery, and unfaithfulness to the marriage-bed. In
addition to this, Gerlach thinks that in this, his last book,
Lucilius recapitulated the subjects of his previous Satires; and
consequently many Fragments are assigned to this book, which
might easily be inserted in others. Among other matters, the poet
also defends himself against the malignant charges of envious
critics, one, Gaius, being especially noticed. The story of the
old lion, which Horace has copied «i., Ep. i., 74», may also lead
us to suppose that the treachery of false friends formed part of
the matter of the poem.

N.B.--Gerlach considers that the 80th was undoubtedly the _last_
book. The passages quoted from subsequent books are the result of
the carelessness of the Librarii. These passages, therefore, will
all be found incorporated into the preceding books.

1 † ... Lamia and Pytho ... with sharp teeth ... those
gluttonous, abandoned, obscene hags....[1952]

2 ... a sick and exhausted lion....[1953]

3 Then the lion said with subdued voice, "Why will you not come
hither yourself?"[1954]

4 What does it mean? how does it happen that the footsteps, all
without exception, lead inward and toward you?

5 For, be assured that disease is far enough removed from men in
wine, when one has regaled himself pretty sumptuously.[1955]

6 † ... in face and features ... sport, and in our conversation
... this is the virgin's prize, and let us pay this
honor....[1956]

7 ... Should you first fasten me to the yoke, and force me
against my will to submit to the plow, and break up the clods
with the coulter.[1957]

8 Immediately, as soon as the gale has blown a little more
violently, it has raised and lifted up the waves.

9 You may see all things glittering within, in the glowing
recess.[1958]

10 must I first break you in, fierce and haughty as you are, with
a Thessalian bit, like an unbroken filly, and tame you down by
war?[1959]

11 or when I am going somewhere, and have invented some pretext
as to the goldsmiths, to my mother, a relation or female
friend's.[1960]

12 Much fiercer than she of whom we spoke before: the milder she
is, the more savagely she bites.

13. † who not expecting ... entering on the impulse of an evil
omen.[1961]

14 ... hoping that time will bring forth the same--

... will give chewed food from her mouth--[1962]

15 So when fame, making thy fight illustrious, having been borne
to our ears, shall have reported.[1963]

16 Take care there are in the house a webster, waiting maids,
men-servants, a girdle-maker, a weaver--[1964]

17 You clean me out, then turn me out; ruin and insult me--[1965]

18 If Maximus left sixteen hundred ... of silver.[1966]

19 beardless hermaphrodites, bearded pathic-adulterers[1967]

20 What is it, if you possess a hundred or two hundred thousand

21 † ... what we seek in this matter ... deceived ... guarded
against[1968]

22 ... here like a mouse-trap laid, ... and like a scorpion with
tail erect....

23 ... and what great sorrows and afflictions you have now
endured.[1969]

24 † it was better you should be born, ... like a beast or ass.

25 ... on the ground, in the dung, stalls, manure, and
swine-dung.[1970]

26 ... as much as my fancy delights to draw from the Muses'
fountain.

27 ... and that our poems alone out of many are now praised.

28 Now, Gaius, since rebuking, you attack us in turn....[1971]

29 ... and would perceive that his ... lay neglected ... left
behind....

30 ... since you do not choose to recognize me at this time,
trifler!

31 ... still I will try to write briefly and compendiously
back.[1972]

32 ... and that by your harsh acts and cruel words....

33 ... no one's mind ought to be so confident--

34 ... if I may do this, and repay by verses....

35 ... just as you who ... those things which we consider to be an
example of life--

36 ... when having well drunk, he has retired from the midst....

37 Calvus Palatina, a man of renown, and good in war.[1973]

38 and in a fierce and stubborn war by far the noblest enemy.

39 ... as to your praising your own ... blaming, you profit not a
whit.[1974]

40 ... but tell me this, if it is not disagreeable, what is
it?[1975]

41 all the labor bestowed on the wool is wasted; neglect, and the
moths destroy all.[1976]

42 † ... one is flat-footed, with rotten feet....[1977]

43 ... no one gives to them: no one lets them in: nor do they
think that life....

44 by whose means the Trogine cup was renowned through the
camp.[1978]

45 ... thanks are returned to both: to them, and to themselves
together.[1979]

46 ... little mattresses besides for each, with two
coverlets.[1980]

47 What do you care, where I am befouled, and wallow?

48 Why do you watch where I go, what I do? What affair is that of
yours?

49 What he could give, what expend, what afford....

50 So the mind is insnared by nooses, shackles, fetters.

51 You are delighted when you spread that report about me, in your
conversations abroad.

52 and by evil-speaking you publish in many conversations

53 While you accuse me of this, do you not before revolve in your
mind?

54 ... let us kick them all out, master and all.

55 ... when once I saw you eager for a contest with Cælius.[1981]

56 These monuments of your skill and excellence are erected.

57 ... and remain, meanwhile, content with these verses.

58 They bring me forth to you, and compel me to show you these

59 ... at what our friends value us, when they can spare us.

60 ... both by your virtue and your illustrious writings to
contribute....

61 ... What? Do the Muses intrust their strong-holds to a mortal?

62 Listen to this also which I tell you; for it relates to the
matter.

63 The quæstor is at hand that you may serve....[1982]

64 ... receive laws by which the people is outlawed....

65 ... or to sacrifice with her fellows at some much frequented
temple.[1983]

66 Whom you know to be acquainted with all your disgrace and
infamy.

67 Then he sees this himself.... in sullied garments.

68 ... What you squander on the stews, prowling through the
town.[1984]

69 ... that she is sworn to one, to whom she is given and
consecrated.

70 ... serves him as a slave, allures his lips, fascinates with
love.[1985]

71 † ... himself oppresses ... a head nourished with sense.[1986]

72 ... fingers, and the bodkin in her beautifully-clustering
hair.[1987]

73 ... and beccaficos, and thrushes, flutter round ... carefully
tended for the cooks.[1988]

74 ... but why do I give vent to these words with trembling mind.

75 Think not that I could curse thee!

76 Sorry and marred with mange, and full of scab....[1989]

77 Which wearies out the people's eyes and ears and hearts.[1990]

78 † No one will thrust through that belly of yours ... and create
pleasure ... use force and you will see--[1991]

79 This you will omit: in that employ me gladly....

80 All modesty is banished--licentiousness and usury restored.

81 That too is a soft mischief, wheedling and treacherous.

82 They appear, on the contrary, to have invited, or instigated
these things.

83 ... all ... to you, handsome and rich--but I ... so be it![1992]

84 The husband traverses the wide sea, and commits himself to the
waves.

85 † whose whole body you know has grown up ... with cloven hoofs.

86 to be able to write out ... the thievish hand of Musco.[1993]

87 Time itself will give sometimes what it can for keeping
up....[1994]

88 and then fly, like a dog, at your face and eyes--[1995]

89 ... published it in conversation in many places....

90 He departed unexpectedly; in one hour quinsy carried him
off.[1996]

91 An old bed, fitted with ropes, is prepared for us....[1997]

92 that no one, without your knowledge, could remove from your
servants.

93 † And that they who despised you were so proud[1998]

94 and contract the pupil of their eyes at the glittering
splendor.[1999]

95 ... you rush hence, and collect all stealthily.

96 ... and since modesty has retreated from your breast

97 ... nor suffer that beard of yours to grow.

98 ... he destroys and devours me....

FOOTNOTES:

[1952] _Lamia._ Cf. lib. xx., Fr. 1. _Oxyodontes._ Scaliger's emendation for Ixiodontes. _Gumiæ._ Vid. lib. iv., Fr. 1.

[1953] _Leonem ægrotum._ Horace has copied the fable, i., Epist. i., 73, "Olim quod vulpes ægroto cauta leoni respondit, referam. Quia me vestigia terrent omnia te advorsum spectantia, nulla retrorsum."

[1954] _Deductus_, "tenuis; a lanâ quæ ad tenuitatem nendo deducitur." Serv. Cf. Virg., Ecl., vi., 5, "pastorem pingues pascere oportet oves, deductum dicere carmen."

[1955] _Invitare_, Nonius explains by "repleri," and quotes Sallust. Hist., "Se ibi cibo vinoque invitarent." So Plaut., Amph., I., i., 130, "Invitavit sese in cœna plusculum." Suet., Aug., 77, "quoties largissimè se invitaret senos sextantes non excessit." _Dapsilius._ So "Dapsiliter suos amicos alit." Næv. ap. Charis.

[1956] _Pretium_, "præmium." Non. Virg., Æn., v., 111, "Et palmæ pretium victoribus."

[1957] _Proscindere._ Cf. Varr., R. R., i., 29, "terram quum primum arant _proscindere_ appellant: quum iterum, _affringere_ quod primâ aratione gleba grandes solent excitari." Virg., Georg., ii., 237. Ov., Met., vii., 219.

[1958] _Lege_, "Omnia tum endo mucho (μυχῷ) videas fervente micare."--Turnebe's emendation.

[1959] The invention of bits is ascribed by Pliny and Virgil to the Thessalian Lapithæ. Plin., vii., 56. Virg., Georg., iii., 15, "Frena Pelethronii Lapithæ, gyrosque dedere." Cf. Lucan., Phars., vi., 396, _seq_. Val. Flac., i., 424, "Oraque Thessalico melior contundere fræno Castor." Gerlach proposes, therefore, to read _equam_ for _acrem_, as young ladies are often compared by the poets to fillies. Cf. Hor., iii., Od. xi., 9, "Quæ velut latis equa trima campis, ludit exultim." Anacr., Fr. 75. Heraclid. Pont., All. Hom., p. 16. «Vid. Theogn., 257. Arist., Lys., 1308. Eurip., Hec., 144. Hip., 546.»

[1960] _Commentavi._ The words of an adulterous wife, inventing some excuse to keep her assignation. _Aurifex._ Cf. Plaut., Aul., III., v., 34. Cic., Orat., ii., 38.

[1961] Dusa refers this to the fox in the fable, quoted above. _Ominis_ is Gerlach's emendation for _hominis_ and _hemonis_. (_Hemo_ was an older form of _Homo_, hence Nemo, ne hemo.)

[1962] _Mansum_ is the food that has been chewed by the nurse preparatory to its being given to the child. Cf. Cic., Orat., ii., 39, "tenuissimas particulas, atque omnia minima _mansa_, ut nutrices infantibus pueris, in os inserant." Quint., X., i. Pers., iii., 17, "pappare minutum poscis." Plaut., Epid., V., ii., 62. It is expressed by the Greek ψωμίζειν. Arist., Lys., 19. Thesm., 692.

[1963] _Clarans._ Cf. Hor., iv., Od. iii., 3, "Ilium non labor Isthmius clarabit pugilem."

[1964] These are the demands of an imperious, perhaps a dowered wife. The speech of Megadorus in the Aulularia of Plautus (iii., Sc. v.), admirably illustrates this Fragment. In the list of slaves which the "dotata" expects, we find the Aurifex, Lanarius, Sarcinatores, strophiarii, semizonarii, textores. The Gerdius is probably the same as the Lenarius: as it is explained in the Glos. γέρδιος, ὑφαντής. _Zonarius._ Cf. Cic. p. Flac, vii., 17.

[1965] Probably the indignant expostulation of some young man to a Lena. Compare the scene between Argyrippus and Cleæreta, in the Asinaria of Plautus (i., Sc. iii.). _Exsultare_, "Gestu vel dictu injuriam facere." Non. Gerlach reads _deures_. The old reading is _deaures_, which is defensible. Cf. xxvi., Fr. 8, _deargentassere_.

[1966] _Maximus._ Q. Fabius Maximus Cunctator, whose son was notorious for his profligacy and luxuriousness. This is probably, therefore, part of the old man's speech against the licentiousness of the young.

[1967] _Androgyni._ Cf. Herod., iv., 67, c. not. Bähr. Juv., vi., 373, "Tonsoris damno tantum rapit Heliodorus."

[1968] _Inductum._ Thus explained by Nonius. Cf. Tibul., I., vi., 1, "Semper ut inducar blandos offers mihi vultus."

[1969] _Exanclaris._ Ennius in Andromacha, "Quantis cum ærumnis illum exantlavi diem." Fr. 6, p. 36, ed. Bothe. Cic., Tusc., i., 49; ii., 8. Acad., ii., 34. On the difference of the forms "exanclare and exantlare," vid. Burmann, ad Quintil., Inst., i., 6. Cf. Æsch., P. V., 375. Choëph., 746. Eurip., Hipp., 898.

[1970] _Sucerda_, from sus and cerno.

[1971] _Gai._ Van Heusde, Burmann, and Merula agree in supposing these to be the words of Fabius Cunctator to C. Minutius Rufus. «Cf. Liv., xxii., 8, 12, where, however, most of the Edd. call him Marcus.» _Incilare_, "increpare, improbare." Non. Pacuv. in Dulor, "Si quis hâc me oratione incilet, quid respondeam?" Fr. 28, p. 121, ed. Bothe. Lucret., iii., 976, "jure increpet inciletque."

[1972] _Summatim._ Cic, Att., v., 16. Suet., Tib., 61, "Commentario quem summatim breviterque composuit."

[1973] _Calvus_, probably either L. Cæcilius Metellus Calvus, consul with Q. Fabius Maximus Servilianus, B.C. 142, or his son L. Cæcilius Metellus Calvus Dalmaticus, consul with L. Aurelius Cotta, B.C. 119, who repaired out of his spoils the temple of Castor and Pollux. From the form of the word _Palatina_, Dusa and Gerlach suppose it to imply the name of a tribe; though Gerlach says we have no evidence of the existence of a tribe called from the hill «but cf. Cic., Verr., II., ii., 43». Cf. ad Pers., v., 73, "Publius Velina."

[1974] _Hilum_ is the primitive from which nihilum is formed (i. e., ne-hilum). Cf. Poet. ap. Cic., Tusc., I., vi., "Sisyphus versat saxum sudans nitendo neque proficit hilum." Lucret., iii., 221, "nec defit ponderis hilum."

[1975] _Nænum_, probably "ne unum," written also _nenum_, _nena_ the Archaic form of Non. Cf. Varro, Epist. ad Fusium, ap. Non. "Si hodie nænum venis, cras quidem." Lucret., iii., 20, "Nenu potest."

[1976] _Pallor_, "negligentia, vetustas." Non.

[1977] _Plautus_, an Umbrian word implying "flat-footed." From this peculiarity the poet derived his name, "Plotos appellant Umbri pedibus planis natos." Fest. The end of the line is hopeless. Turnebe reads "mens elephanti," and says it refers to "the horrors of matrimony, and the bodily defects of wives." Gerlach reads "mensa Libonis," and says, "Lucilius compares women to the tables of the money-changers." Cf. Hor., Sat., II., vi., 35. Cf. ad Pers., Sat., iv., 49.

[1978] Cic., de Div., ii., 37, mentions a people of Galatia, called Trogini. The name does not occur elsewhere.

[1979] The Archaic _Simitû_ for _simul_ occurs repeatedly in Plautus.

[1980] _Privæ._ Cf. i., Fr. 13. Privum, "proprium uniuscujusque." Non. _Centonibus._ Cf. xxviii., Fr. 33. _Culcitulæ_, "small cushions or pillows," from _calco_. Fest. Cf. Plaut., Most., IV., i., 49.

[1981] _Invadere_, i. e., "appetenter incipere." _Cæli._ Cicero tells us (Auct. ad Her., ii., 13, 19) that Cælius was the name of the judge who acquitted the man on the charge of defamation, who had libeled Lucilius on the stage.

[1982] _Publica._ Fruter conjectures _Publicià_; but the Publician law is not mentioned.

[1983] _Operatum._ So ῥέζειν. Cf. Virg., Georg., i., 339, "Sacra refer Cereri lætis operatus in herbis." Liv., i., 81. Propert., ii., 24, 1. Nonius explains it "Deos religiose et cum summâ veneratione sacrificiis litare."

[1984] _Lustris._ Plaut., Asin., V., ii., 17, "Is liberis lustris studet." Casin., II., iii., 28, "Ubi in lustra jacuisti?" Cic., Phil., xiii., 11. Probest., "Aliquis emersus ex tenebris lustrorum ac stuprorum." The Fragment probably forms part of a speech of a jealous wife upbraiding her husband, as Cleostrata, in the Casina of Plautus, quoted above.

[1985] _Præservit._ Cf. Plaut., Amph., Prol., 126, "Ut præservire amanti meo possem patri." _Delicere_, "to allure from the right path." Titinius ap. Non. in voc., "parasitus habeat qui illum sciat delicere, et noctem facere possit de die." _Delenit._ Cf. xxviii., Fr. 1, "to inthrall the senses by the passion of love." So Titinius, "Dotibus deleniti ultro etiam uxoribus ancillantur."

[1986] _Nutricari_ for "nutrire." Cf. Cic., de Nat. Deor., ii., 34, "Educator et altor est mundus omniaque sicut membra et partis suas nutricatur et continet."

[1987] _Discerniculum_, "the bodkin in a woman's headdress for parting the hair."

[1988] _Ficedulæ._ Cf. ad Juv., xiv., 9. _Turdi._ Cf. ad Pers., vi., 24. Read perhaps "curatique cocis."

[1989] Cf. Juv., ii., 79, "Dedit hanc contagio labem et dabit in plures: sicut grex totus in agris unius _scabie_ cadit et _porrigine_ porci."

[1990] _Rumpit_, "defatigat." Non.

[1991] _Pertundet._ So Ennius, "latus pertudit hasta." Juv., vi., 46, "Mediam pertundite venam." vii., 26, "Aut claude et positos tineâ pertunde libellos." _Deliciet_ Gerlach explains by "Juvare, voluptatem creare:" and reads "_Utere vi atque videbis._"

[1992] _Fortis_ etiam "dives." Non.

[1993] Gerlach retains _Musconis_. _Tagax_, from the old form tago. "Furunculus a tangendo." Fest, "light-fingered." _Perscribere_ may mean (like conscribellare in Catullus) "to mark letters upon," i. e., brand him with the word Fur on the hand: hence trium literarum homo.

[1994] _Habendo._ Cf. Virg., Georg., iii., 159, "Et quos aut pecori malint summittere habendo."

[1995] _Involem._ Ter., Eun., V., ii., 20, "Vix me contineo quin involem in capillum." So "Castra involare." Tac., Hist., iv., 33.

[1996] _Angina_, "genus morbi; eo quod angat." Non. Cf. Plaut., Trin., II., iv., 139, "Sues moriuntur anginâ." Most., I., iii., 61, "In anginam ego nunc me velim vorti, ut veneficæ illi fauces prehendam."

[1997] _Consternere_ is applied "to preparing a couch." Cf. Catul., lxiv., 163, "Purpureâve tuum consternens veste cubile." This seems to be the meaning here; as there seems to be a vibration of the reading between consternitur, nobis lectus, and vetus, for Restes. Cf. ad lib. vi., Fr. 13.

[1998] Dusa's conjecture is followed. Scaliger supposes temnere to be an old form of the perfect "tempsere."

[1999] _Præstringere_ "non valdè stringere et claudere." Non.

THE SATIRES

OF

DECIMUS JUNIUS JUVENALIS,

AND OF

AULUS PERSIUS FLACCUS.

TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH VERSE,

BY WILLIAM GIFFORD, ESQ.

SATIRE I.

Oh! heavens--while THUS hoarse Codrus perseveres
To force his Theseid on my tortured ears,
Shall I not ONCE attempt "to quit the score,"
ALWAYS an auditor, and nothing more!
Forever at my side, shall this rehearse 5
His elegiac, that his comic verse,
Unpunished? shall huge Telephus, at will,
The livelong day consume, or, huger still,
Orestes, closely written, written, too,
Down the broad marge, and yet--no end in view! 10
Away, away!--None knows his home so well
As I the grove of Mars, and Vulcan's cell,
Fast by the Æolian rocks!--How the Winds roar,
How ghosts are tortured on the Stygian shore,
How Jason stole the golden fleece, and how 15
The Centaurs fought on Othrys' shaggy brow;
The walks of Fronto echo round and round--
The columns trembling with the eternal sound,
While high and low, as the mad fit invades,
Bellow the same trite nonsense through the shades. 20
I, TOO, CAN WRITE--and, at a pedant's frown,
ONCE poured my fustian rhetoric on the town:
And idly proved that Sylla, far from power,
Had passed, unknown to fear, the tranquil hour:--
Now I resume my pen; for, since we meet 25
Such swarms of desperate bards in every street,
'Tis vicious clemency to spare the oil,
And hapless paper they are sure to spoil.
But why I choose, adventurous, to retrace
The Auruncan's route, and, in the arduous race, 30
Follow his burning wheels, attentive hear,
If leisure serve, and truth be worth your ear.
When the soft eunuch weds, and the bold fair
Tilts at the Tuscan boar, with bosom bare;
When one that oft, since manhood first appeared, 35
Has trimmed the exuberance of this sounding beard,
In wealth outvies the senate; when a vile,
A slave-born, slave-bred, vagabond of Nile,
Crispinus, while he gathers now, now flings
His purple open, fans his summer rings; 40
And, as his fingers sweat beneath the freight,
Cries, "Save me--from a gem of greater weight!"
'Tis hard a less adventurous course to choose,
While folly plagues, and vice inflames the Muse.
For who so slow of heart, so dull of brain, 45
So patient of the town, as to contain
His bursting spleen, when, full before his eye,
Swings the new chair of lawyer Matho by,
Crammed with himself! then, with no less parade,
That caitiff's, who his noble friend betrayed, 50
Who now, in fancy, prostrate greatness tears,
And preys on what the imperial vulture spares!
Whom Massa dreads, Latinus, trembling, plies
With a fair wife, and anxious Carus buys!
When those supplant thee in thy dearest rights, 55
Who earn rich legacies by active nights;
Those, whom (the shortest, surest way to rise)
The widow's itch advances to the skies!--
Not that an equal rank her minions hold;
Just to their various powers, she metes her gold, 60
And Proculeius mourns his scanty share,
While Gillo triumphs, hers and nature's heir!
And let him triumph! 'tis the price of blood:
While, thus defrauded of the generous flood.
The color flies his cheek, as though he prest, 65
With unsuspecting foot, a serpent's crest;
Or stood engaged at Lyons to declaim,
Where the least peril is the loss of fame.
Ye gods!--what rage, what phrensy fires my brain,
When that false guardian, with his splendid train, 70
Crowds the long street, and leaves his orphan charge
To prostitution, and the world at large!
When, by a juggling sentence damned in vain,
(For who, that holds the plunder, heeds the pain?)
Marius to wine devotes his morning hours, 75
And laughs, in exile, at the offended Powers:
While, sighing o'er the victory she won,
The Province finds herself but more undone!
And shall I feel, that crimes like these require
The avenging strains of the Venusian lyre, 80
And not pursue them? I shall I still repeat
The legendary tales of Troy and Crete;
The toils of Hercules, the horses fed
On human flesh by savage Diomed,
The lowing labyrinth, the builder's flight, 85
And the rash boy, hurl'd from his airy height?
When, what the law forbids the wife to heir,
The adulterer's Will may to the wittol bear,
Who gave, with wand'ring eye and vacant face,
A tacit sanction to his own disgrace; 90
And, while at every turn a look he stole,
Snored, unsuspected, o'er the treacherous bowl!
When he presumes to ask a troop's command,
Who spent on horses all his father's land,
While, proud the experienced driver to display, 95
His glowing wheels smoked o'er the Appian way:--
For there our young Automedon first tried
His powers, there loved the rapid car to guide;
While great Pelides sought superior bliss,
And toyed and wantoned with his master-miss. 100
Who would not, reckless of the swarm he meets,
Fill his wide tablets, in the public streets,
With angry verse? when, through the midday glare,
Borne by six slaves, and in an open chair,
The forger comes, who owes this blaze of state 105
To a wet seal and a fictitious date;
Comes, like the soft Mæcenas, lolling by,
And impudently braves the public eye!
Or the rich dame, who stanched her husband's thirst
With generous wine, but--drugged it deeply first! 110
And now, more dext'rous than Locusta, shows
Her country friends the beverage to compose,
And, midst the curses of the indignant throng,
Bear, in broad day, the spotted corpse along.
Dare nobly, man! if greatness be thy aim, 115
And practice what may chains and exile claim:
On Guilt's broad base thy towering fortunes raise,
For virtue starves on--universal praise!
While crimes, in scorn of niggard fate, afford
The ivory couches, and the citron board, 120
The goblet high-embossed, the antique plate,
The lordly mansion, and the fair estate!
O! who can rest--who taste the sweets of life,
When sires debauch the son's too greedy wife;
When males to males, abjuring shame, are wed, 125
And beardless boys pollute the nuptial bed!
No: INDIGNATION, kindling as she views,
Shall, in each breast, a generous warmth infuse,
And pour, in Nature and the Nine's despite,
Such strains as I, or Cluvienus, write! 130
E'er since Deucalion, while, on every side,
The bursting clouds upraised the whelming tide,
Reached, in his little skiff, the forked hill,
And sought, at Themis' shrine, the Immortals' will;
When softening stones grew warm with gradual life, 135
And Pyrrha brought each male a virgin wife;
Whatever, passions have the soul possest,
Whatever wild desires inflamed the breast,
Joy, Sorrow, Fear, Love, Hatred, Transport, Rage,
Shall form the motley subject of my page. 140
And when could Satire boast so fair a field?
Say, when did Vice a richer harvest yield?
When did fell Avarice so engross the mind?
Or when the lust of play so curse mankind?--
No longer, now, the pocket's stores supply 145
The boundless charges of the desperate die:
The chest is staked!--muttering the steward stands,
And scarce resigns it, at his lord's commands.
Is it a SIMPLE MADNESS,--I would know,
To venture countless thousands on a throw, 150
Yet want the soul, a single piece to spare,
To clothe the slave, that shivering stands and bare!
Who called, of old, so many seats his own,
Or on seven sumptuous dishes supped alone?--
Then plain and open was the cheerful feast, 155
And every client was a bidden guest;
Now, at the gate, a paltry largess lies,
And eager hands and tongues dispute the prize.
But first (lest some false claimant should be found),
The wary steward takes his anxious round, 160
And pries in every face; then calls aloud,
"Come forth, ye great Dardanians, from the crowd!"
For, mixed with us, e'en these besiege the door,
And scramble for--the pittance of the poor!
"Dispatch the Prætor first," the master cries, 165
"And next the Tribune." "No, not so;" replies
The Freedman, bustling through, "first come is, still,
First served; and I may claim my right, and will!--
Though born a slave ('tis bootless to deny,
What these bored ears betray to every eye), 170
On my own rents, in splendor, now I live,
On five fair freeholds! Can the PURPLE give
Their Honors, more? when, to Laurentum sped,
NOBLE Corvinus tends a flock for bread!--
Pallas and the Licinii, in estate, 175
Must yield to me: let, then, the Tribunes wait."
Yes, let them wait! thine, Riches, be the field!--
It is not meet, that he to Honor yield,
To SACRED HONOR, who, with whitened feet,
Was hawked for sale, so lately, through the street. 180
O gold! though Rome beholds no altars flame,
No temples rise to thy pernicious name,
Such as to Victory, Virtue, Faith are reared,
And Concord, where the clamorous stork is heard,
Yet is thy full divinity confest, 185
Thy shrine established here, in every breast.
But while, with anxious eyes, the great explore
How much the dole augments their annual store,
What misery must the poor dependent dread,
Whom this small pittance clothed, and lodged, and fed? 190
Wedged in thick ranks before the donor's gates,
A phalanx firm, of chairs and litters, waits:
Thither one husband, at the risk of life,
Hurries his teeming, or his bedrid wife;
Another, practiced in the gainful art, 195
With deeper cunning tops the beggar's part;
Plants at his side a close and empty chair:
"My Galla, master;--give me Galla's share."
"Galla!" the porter cries; "let her look out."
"Sir, she's asleep. Nay, give me;--can you doubt!" 200
What rare pursuits employ the clients' day!
First to the patron's door their court to pay,
Next to the forum, to support his cause,
Thence to Apollo, learned in the laws,
And the triumphal statues; where some Jew, 205
Some mongrel Arab, some--I know not who--
Has impudently dared a niche to seize,
Fit to be p---- against, or--what you please.--
Returning home, he drops them at the gate:
And now the weary clients, wise too late, 210
Resign their hopes, and supperless retire,
To spend the paltry dole in herbs and fire.
Meanwhile, their patron sees his palace stored
With every dainty earth and sea afford:
Stretched on th' unsocial couch, he rolls his eyes 215
O'er many an orb of matchless form and size,
Selects the fairest to receive his plate,
And, at one meal, devours a whole estate!--
But who (for not a parasite is there)
The selfishness of luxury can bear? 220
See! the lone glutton craves whole boars! a beast
Designed, by nature, for the social feast!--
But speedy wrath o'ertakes him: gorged with food,
And swollen and fretted by the peacock crude,
He seeks the bath, his feverish pulse to still, 225
Hence sudden death, and age without a Will!
Swift flies the tale, by witty spleen increast,
And furnishes a laugh at every feast;
The laugh, his friends not undelighted hear,
And, fallen from all their hopes, insult his bier. 230
NOTHING is left, NOTHING, for future times
To add to the full catalogue of crimes;
The baffled sons must feel the same desires,
And act the same mad follies, as their sires.
VICE HAS ATTAINED ITS ZENITH:--Then set sail, 235
Spread all thy canvas, Satire, to the gale--
But where the powers so vast a theme requires?
Where the plain times, the simple, when our sires
Enjoyed a freedom, which I dare not name,
And gave the public sin to public shame, 240
Heedless who smiled or frowned?--Now, let a line
But glance at Tigellinus, and you shine,
Chained to a stake, in pitchy robes, and light,
Lugubrious torch, the deepening shades of night;
Or, writhing on a hook, are dragged around, 245
And, with your mangled members, plow the ground.
What, shall the wretch of hard, unpitying soul,
Who for THREE uncles mixed the deadly bowl,
Propped on his plumy couch, that all may see,
Tower by triumphant, and look down on me! 250
Yes; let him look. He comes! avoid his way,
And on your lip your cautious finger lay;
Crowds of informers linger in his rear,
And, if a whisper pass, will overhear.
Bring, if you please, Æneas on the stage, 255
Fierce war, with the Rutulian prince, to wage;
Subdue the stern Achilles; and once more,
With Hylas! Hylas! fill the echoing shore;
Harmless, nay pleasant, shall the tale be found,
It bares no ulcer, and it probes no wound. 260
But when Lucilius, fired with virtuous rage,
Waves his keen falchion o'er a guilty age,
The conscious villain shudders at his sin,
And burning blushes speak the pangs within;
Cold drops of sweat from every member roll, 265
And growing terrors harrow up his soul:
Then tears of shame, and dire revenge succeed--
Say, have you pondered well the advent'rous deed?
Now--ere the trumpet sounds--your strength debate;
The soldier, once engaged, repents too late. 270
J. Yet I MUST write: and since these iron times,
From living knaves preclude my angry rhymes,
I point my pen against the guilty dead,
And pour its gall on each obnoxious head.

SATIRE II.

O FOR an eagle's wings! that I might fly
To the bleak regions of the polar sky,
When from their lips the cant of virtue falls,
Who preach like Curii, live like Bacchanals!
Devoid of knowledge, as of worth, they thrust, 5
In every nook, some philosophic bust;
For he, among them, counts himself most wise,
Who most old sages of the sculptor buys;
Sets most true Zenos, or Cleanthes' heads,
To guard the volumes which he--never reads! 10
TRUST NOT TO OUTWARD SHOW: in every street
Obscenity, in formal garb, we meet.--
And dost thou, hypocrite, our lusts arraign,
Thou! of Socratic catamites the drain!
Nature thy rough and shaggy limbs designed 15
To mark a stern, inexorable mind;
But all's so smooth below!--"the surgeon smiles,
And scarcely can, for laughter, lance the piles."
Gravely demure, in wisdom's awful chair,
His beetling eyebrows longer than his hair, 20
In solemn state, the affected Stoic sits,
And drops his maxims on the crowd by fits!--
Yon Peribomius, whose emaciate air,
And tottering gait, his foul disease declare,
With patience I can view; he braves disgrace, 25
Not skulks behind a sanctimonious face:
Him may his folly, or his fate excuse--
But whip me those, who Virtue's name abuse,
And, soiled with all the vices of the times,
Thunder damnation on their neighbor's crimes! 30
"Shrink at the pathic Sextus! Can I be,
Whate'er my guilt, more infamous than he?"
Varillus cries: Let those who tread aright,
Deride the halt; the swarthy Moor, the white;
This we might bear; but who his spleen could rein, 35
And hear the Gracchi of the mob complain?
Who would not mingle earth, and sea, and sky,
Should Milo murder, Verres theft, decry,
Clodius adultery? Catiline accuse
Cethegus, Lentulus, of factious views, 40
Or Sylla's pupils, soil'd with deeper guilt,
Arraign their master for the blood he spilt?
Yet have we seen--O shame, for ever fled!--
A barbarous judge start from the incestuous bed,
And, with stern voice, those rigid laws awake, 45
At which the powers of War and Beauty quake,
What time his drugs were speeding to the tomb
The abortive fruit of Julia's teeming womb!--
And must not, now, the most debased and vile,
Hear these false Scauri with a scornful smile; 50
And, while the hypocrites their crimes arraign,
Turn, like the trampled asp, and bite again!
They must; they do:--When late, amid the crowd,
A zealot of the sect exclaimed aloud,
Where sleeps the Julian law? Laronia eyed 55
The scowling Stoicide, and taunting, cried,
"Blest be the age that such a censor gave,
The groaning world to chasten and to save!
Blush, Rome, and from the sink of sin arise--
Lo! a THIRD CATO, sent thee from the skies! 60
But--tell me yet--What shop the balm supplied,
Which, from your brawny neck and bristly hide,
Such potent fragrance breathes? nor let it shame
Your gravity, to show the vender's name.
"If ancient laws must reassume their course, 65
Give the Scantinian first its proper force.
Look, look at home; the ways of men explore--
Our faults, you say, are many; theirs are more:
Yet safe from censure, as from fear, they stand,
A firm, compact, impenetrable band! 70
We know your monstrous leagues; but can you find
One proof in us, of this detested kind?
Pure days and nights with Cluvia, Flora led,
And Tedia chastely shared Catulla's bed;
While Hippo's brutal itch both sexes tried, 75
And proved, by turns, the bridegroom and the bride!
We ne'er, with misspent zeal, explore the laws,
We throng no forum, and we plead no cause:
Some few, perhaps, may wrestle, some be fed,
To aid their breath, with strong athletic bread. 80
Ye fling the shuttle with a female grace,
And spin more subtly than Arachne's race;
Cowered o'er your labor, like the squalid jade,
That plies the distaff, to a block belayed.
"Why Hister's freedman heired his wealth, and why 85
His consort, while he lived, was bribed so high,
I spare to tell; the wife that, swayed by gain,
Can make a third in bed, and near complain,
Must ever thrive: on secrets jewels wait:
Then wed, my girls; be silent, and--be great!" 90
"Yet these are they, who, fierce in Virtue's cause,
Consign our venial frailties to the laws;
And, while with partial aim their censure moves,
Acquit the vultures, and condemn the doves!"
She paused: the unmanly zealots felt the sway 95
Of conscious truth, and slunk, abashed, away.
But how shall vice be shamed, when, loosely drest,
In the light texture of a cobweb vest,
You, Creticus, amid the indignant crowd
At Procla and Pollinea rail aloud?-- 100
These, he rejoins, are "daughters of the game."
Strike, then;--yet know, though lost to honest fame,
The wantons would reject a veil so thin,
And blush, while suffering, to display their skin.
"But Sirius glows; I burn." Then, quit your dress; 105
'Twill thus be madness, and the scandal less.
O! could our legions, with fresh laurels crowned,
And smarting still from many a glorious wound,
Our rustic mountaineers (the plow laid by,
For city cares), a judge so drest descry, 110
What thoughts would rise? Lo! robes which misbecome
A witness, deck the awful bench of Rome;
And Creticus, stern champion of the laws,
Gleams through the tissue of pellucid gauze!
Anon from you, as from its fountain-head, 115
Wide and more wide the flagrant pest will spread;
As swine take measles from distempered swine,
And one infected grape pollutes the vine.
Yes, Rome shall see you, lewdlier clad, erewhile,
(FOR NONE BECOME, AT ONCE, COMPLETELY VILE,) 120
In some opprobrious den of shame, combined
With that vile herd, the horror of their kind,
Who twine gay fillets round the forehead; deck
With strings of orient pearl the breast and neck;
Soothe the GOOD GODDESS with large bowls of wine, 125
And the soft belly of a pregnant swine.--
No female, foul perversion! dares appear,
For males, and males alone, officiate here;
"Far hence," they cry, "unholy sex, retire,
Our purer rites no lowing horn require!" 130
--At Athens thus, involved in thickest gloom,
Cotytto's priests her secret torch illume;
And to such orgies give the lustful night,
That e'en Cotytto sickens at the sight.
With tiring-pins, these spread the sooty dye, 135
Arch the full brow, and tinge the trembling eye;
Those bind their flowing locks in cawls of gold,
Swill from huge glasses of immodest mould,
Light, filmy robes of azure net-work wear;
And, by their Juno, hark! the attendants swear! 140
This grasps a mirror--pathic Otho's boast
(Auruncan Actor's spoil), where, while his host,
With shouts, the signal of the fight required,
He viewed his mailed form; viewed, and admired!
Lo, a new subject for the historic page, 145
A MIRROR, midst the arms of civil rage!--
To murder Galba, was--a general's part!
A stern republican's--to dress with art!
The empire of the world in arms to seek,
And spread--a softening poultice o'er the cheek! 150
Preposterous vanity! and never seen,
Or in the Assyrian or Egyptian queen,
Though one in arms near old Euphrates stood,
And one the doubtful fight at Actium viewed.
Nor reverence for the table here is found; 155
But brutal mirth and jests obscene go round:
They lisp, they squeal, and the rank language use
Of Cybele's lewd votaries, or the stews:
Some wild enthusiast, silvered o'er with age,
Yet fired by lust's ungovernable rage, 160
Of most insatiate throat, is named the priest,
And sits fit umpire of th' unhallowed feast;
Why pause they here? Phrygians long since in heart,
Whence this delay to lop a useless part?
Gracchus admired a cornet or a fife, 165
And, with an ample dower, became his wife.
The contract signed, the wonted bliss implored,
A costly supper decks the nuptial board;
And the new bride, amid the wondering room,
Lies in the bosom of the accursed groom!-- 170
Say now, ye nobles, claims this monstrous deed,
The Aruspex or the Censor? Can we need
More expiations?--sacrifices?--vows?
For calving women, or for lambing cows?
The lusty priest, whose limbs dissolved with heat, 175
What time he danced beneath the Ancilia's weight,
Now flings the ensigns of his god aside,
And takes the stole and flammea of a bride!
Father of Rome! from what pernicious clime,
Did Latian swains derive so foul a crime? 180
Tell where the poisonous nettle first arose,
Whose baneful juice through all thy offspring flows.
Behold! a man for rank and power renowned,
Marries a man!--and yet, with thundering sound,
Thy brazen helmet shakes not! earth yet stands, 185
Fixed on its base, nor feels thy wrathful hands!
Is thy arm shortened? Raise to Jove thy prayer--
But Rome no longer knows thy guardian care;
Quit, then, the charge to some severer Power,
Of strength to punish in the obnoxious hour. 190
"To-morrow, with the dawn, I must attend
In yonder valley!" Why so soon? "A friend
Takes HIM a husband there, and bids a few"--
FEW, yet: but wait awhile; and we shall view
Such contracts formed without or shame or fear, 195
And entered on THE RECORDS OF THE YEAR!
Meanwhile, one pang these passive monsters find,
One ceaseless pang, that preys upon the mind;
They can not shift their sex, and pregnant prove
With the dear pledges of a husband's love: 200
Wisely confined by Nature's steady plan,
Which counteracts the wild desires of man.
For them, no drugs prolific powers retain,
And the Luperci strike their palms in vain.
And yet these prodigies of vice appear, 205
Less monstrous, Gracchus, than the net and spear,
With which equipped, you urged the unequal fight,
And fled, dishonored, in a nation's sight;
Though nobler far than each illustrious name
That thronged the pit (spectators of your shame), 210
Nay, than the Prætor, who the SHOW supplied,
At which your base dexterity was tried.
That angry Justice formed a dreadful hell,
That ghosts in subterraneous regions dwell,
That hateful Styx his sable current rolls, 215
And Charon ferries o'er unbodied souls,
Are now as tales or idle fables prized;
By children questioned, and by men despised:
YET THESE, DO THOU BELIEVE. What thoughts, declare,
Ye Scipios, once the thunderbolts of war! 220
Fabricius, Curius, great Camillus' ghost!
Ye valiant Fabii, in yourselves an host!
Ye dauntless youths at fatal Cannæ slain!
Spirits of many a brave and bloody plain!
What thoughts are yours, whene'er, with feet unblest, 225
An UNBELIEVING SHADE invades your rest?
--Ye fly, to expiate the blasting view; }
Fling on the pine-tree torch the sulphur blue, }
And from the dripping bay, dash round the lustral dew. }
And yet--to these abodes we all must come, 230
Believe, or not, these are our final home;
Though now Iërne tremble at our sway,
And Britain, boastful of her length of day;
Though the blue Orcades receive our chain,
And isles that slumber in the frozen main. 235
But why of conquest boast? the conquered climes
Are free, O Rome, from thy detested crimes.
No;--one Armenian all our youth outgoes,
And, with cursed fires, for a base tribune glows.
True: such thy power, Example! He was brought 240
An hostage hither, and the infection caught.--
O, bid the striplings flee! for sensual art
Here lurks to snare the unsuspecting heart;
Then farewell, simple nature!--Pleased no more,
With knives, whips, bridles (all they prized of yore), 245
Thus taught, and thus debauched, they hasten home,
To spread the morals of Imperial Rome!

SATIRE III.