Chapter C

[Footnote 1: Fought April 25 (O.S. 14), 1707, between the English, under Lord Galway, a Frenchman, with Portuguese, Dutch, and Spanish allies, and a superior force of French and Spaniards, under an Englishman, the Duke of Berwick, natural son of James II. Deserted by many of the foreign troops, the English were defeated.]

[Footnote 2: cleaning]

[Footnote 3: that]

[Footnote 4: that]

* * * * *

No. 8. Friday, March 9, 1711. Addison.

'At _Venus_ obscuro gradientes ære sepsit,
Et multo Nebulae circum Dea fudit amictu,
Cernere ne quis eos ...'

Virg.

I shall here communicate to the World a couple of Letters, which I believe will give the Reader as good an Entertainment as any that I am able to furnish [him [1]] with, and therefore shall make no Apology for them.

'To the SPECTATOR, &c.

SIR,

I am one of the Directors of the Society for the Reformation of
Manners, and therefore think myself a proper Person for your
Correspondence. I have thoroughly examined the present State of
Religion in _Great-Britain_, and am able to acquaint you with the
predominant Vice of every Market-Town in the whole Island. I can tell
you the Progress that Virtue has made in all our Cities, Boroughs, and
Corporations; and know as well the evil Practices that are committed
in _Berwick_ or _Exeter_, as what is done in my own Family. In a Word,
Sir, I have my Correspondents in the remotest Parts of the Nation, who
send me up punctual Accounts from time to time of all the little
Irregularities that fall under their Notice in their several Districts
and Divisions.

I am no less acquainted with the particular Quarters and Regions of
this great Town, than with the different Parts and Distributions of
the whole Nation. I can describe every Parish by its Impieties, and
can tell you in which of our Streets Lewdness prevails, which Gaming
has taken the Possession of, and where Drunkenness has got the better
of them both. When I am disposed to raise a Fine for the Poor, I know
the Lanes and Allies that are inhabited by common Swearers. When I
would encourage the Hospital of _Bridewell_, and improve the Hempen
Manufacture, I am very well acquainted with all the Haunts and Resorts
of Female Night-walkers.

After this short Account of my self, I must let you know, that the
Design of this Paper is to give you Information of a certain irregular
Assembly which I think falls very properly under your Observation,
especially since the Persons it is composed of are Criminals too
considerable for the Animadversions of our Society. I mean, Sir, the
Midnight Masque, which has of late been frequently held in one of the
most conspicuous Parts of the Town, and which I hear will be continued
with Additions and Improvements. As all the Persons who compose this
lawless Assembly are masqued, we dare not attack any of them in _our
Way_, lest we should send a Woman of Quality to _Bridewell_, or a Peer
of _Great-Britain_ to the _Counter_: Besides, that their Numbers are
so very great, that I am afraid they would be able to rout our whole
Fraternity, tho' we were accompanied with all our Guard of Constables.
Both these Reasons which secure them from our Authority, make them
obnoxious to yours; as both their Disguise and their Numbers will give
no particular Person Reason to think himself affronted by you.

If we are rightly inform'd, the Rules that are observed by this new
Society are wonderfully contriv'd for the Advancement of Cuckoldom.
The Women either come by themselves, or are introduced by Friends, who
are obliged to quit them upon their first Entrance, to the
Conversation of any Body that addresses himself to them. There are
several Rooms where the Parties may retire, and, if they please, show
their Faces by Consent. Whispers, Squeezes, Nods, and Embraces, are
the innocent Freedoms of the Place. In short, the whole Design of this
libidinous Assembly seems to terminate in Assignations and Intrigues;
and I hope you will take effectual Methods, by your publick Advice and
Admonitions, to prevent such a promiscuous Multitude of both Sexes
from meeting together in so clandestine a Manner.'

I am,

Your humble Servant,

And Fellow Labourer,

T. B.

Not long after the Perusal of this Letter I received another upon the same Subject; which by the Date and Stile of it, I take to be written by some young Templer.

Middle Temple, 1710-11.

SIR,

When a Man has been guilty of any Vice or Folly, I think the best
Attonement he can make for it is to warn others not to fall into the
like. In order to this I must acquaint you, that some Time in
_February_ last I went to the Tuesday's Masquerade. Upon my first
going in I was attacked by half a Dozen female Quakers, who seemed
willing to adopt me for a Brother; but, upon a nearer Examination, I
found they were a Sisterhood of Coquets, disguised in that precise
Habit. I was soon after taken out to dance, and, as I fancied, by a
Woman of the first Quality, for she was very tall, and moved
gracefully. As soon as the Minuet was over, we ogled one another
through our Masques; and as I am very well read in _Waller_, I
repeated to her the four following Verses out of his poem to
_Vandike_.

'The heedless Lover does not know
Whose Eyes they are that wound him so;
But confounded with thy Art,
Enquires her Name that has his Heart.'

I pronounced these Words with such a languishing Air, that I had some
Reason to conclude I had made a Conquest. She told me that she hoped
my Face was not akin to my Tongue; and looking upon her Watch, I
accidentally discovered the Figure of a Coronet on the back Part of
it. I was so transported with the Thought of such an Amour, that I
plied her from one Room to another with all the Gallantries I could
invent; and at length brought things to so happy an Issue, that she
gave me a private Meeting the next Day, without Page or Footman, Coach
or Equipage. My Heart danced in Raptures; but I had not lived in this
golden Dream above three Days, before I found good Reason to wish that
I had continued true to my Landress. I have since heard by a very
great Accident, that this fine Lady does not live far from
_Covent-Garden_, and that I am not the first Cully whom she has passed
herself upon for a Countess.

Thus, Sir, you see how I have mistaken a _Cloud_ for a _Juno_; and if
you can make any use of this Adventure for the Benefit of those who
may possibly be as vain young Coxcombs as my self, I do most heartily
give you Leave.'

I am,

Sir,

Your most humble admirer,

B. L.

I design to visit the next Masquerade my self, in the same Habit I wore at _Grand Cairo_; [2] and till then shall suspend my Judgment of this Midnight Entertainment.