Chapter XXX: Letter XXX: Achor’s Vale, January 23rd, 1818

Mrs. BARNES.

MY DEAR OLD FRIEND,

I trust these lines will find you well in health, seeking the Lord from a feeling sense of need, waiting for more grace, that you may love the Saviour more, and serve him better. He is a good master, and I have found him so. He is kind, loving, and gracious, and no doubt I shall prove him so to the end. I find him now in his supporting hand, his sacred presence, his word sweet in reading, and his throne still open to receive my petitions. I am shut out from my public work, but I am not shut out from God, and I shall yet see why I am put in this place, through the cruelty of a wicked man, who has sworn falsely, both before a magistrate and a judge, when I could not defend myself, but he will have his reward another day. No doubt I am sent here for some very great end, and if it is but for the good of one soul, it will be worth all my sorrow. I only want to live to know more of Christ, to bring forth more fruit to God, and to be useful to others—and I may be useful here, as well as in any other place. I hope you will be favored by the blessed Spirit with an enlarged mind, to see such excellencies in Christ—as God-Man Mediator, as bearing all your sin, as suffering in your stead, as obeying the law for you, taking away the sting of death, rising for your life, ascending to heaven, and appearing in your room for you before God; in a prepared place to make intercession with God, to send you every blessing, and to wait till your appointed time, then he will send for you home, to be with him for ever. There you will see his face, and never, never sin. These are blessings you must long for, if you belong to God. Sin must be felt as a burden, sin must be hated as an enemy, sin must be fled from as a serpent, sin must be pardoned and took away before God; and nothing can do this for us, but the precious blood of Christ, and the free favour of God, manifested in the work of the Holy Spirit, leading our minds to the Saviour, and enabling us to believe in him to the saving of the soul. O that you may be blessed with clearer knowledge, stronger faith, greater love, and sweeter obedience. I am grieved I am not able to preach the unsearchable riches of Christ, as I once did, but I live in the hopes of being a greater blessing to the church than I ever was before; but, I trust, if I ever do again, I shall keep many at a greater distance than I did before. I am at times broken-hearted about the cause of Christ, especially that part of it I had the management of. It is like a ship at sea, we will call her the Packet Distress—the disciples went out to sea, night came on, the wind blew hard, the sea arose in consequence of it, the poor ship was in the dark, and in the deep. No sails were unfurled, they were obliged to tug at the oar, and after they had rowed a great way, Jesus was seen on the water coming towards them; but although when they were toiling in rowing, and what is very blessed to remember is, that while they were tossed about on the stormy sea, Jesus was on a mountain, praying for them. This circumstance was in the 6th chapter of Mark, 45 to 51st verse; the 6th of John, 16 to 21st verse. I need not tell you a great storm has arose, by reason of a great wind that has blown—blessed be God it is but wind, and the Lord commands that, and he must allay it, when he has accomplished all the ends he had in view. And though he permits these things, he has some grand end in view—he will be glorified in all he permits. The sailors had no sails up in this storm, it was too great, and perhaps very little love is felt by those who are tempest tossed, so that we must ply the oar of all-prayer together, and in due time the dear Redeemer will appeal to our joy. He is now in heaven, I hope pleading the cause of his poor tried people, and in life own time, when we are tired in toiling and rowing, we shall see him treading down the proud waves of our enemies, and calling out—_It is I_, _be not afraid_. Then all will be calm again—none can make it calm but the Saviour; to him let us look, in him let us hope, life has all power in heaven and in earth, and none can stay his hand, or say, What doest thou? I hope we shall yet see better days, and live more to God’s glory. This we cannot do without more grace, and when we feel what poor sinners we are, then is the time to pray for more grace. It is not enough to be convinced we are sinners, but we must know we are pardoned sinners, and as we receive this knowledge, so our sins are subdued. Nothing can so truly subdue sin, as the hope, or the full assurance they are forgiven. I hope the Lord is shewing you what you are in yourself, humbling you with the most blessed views of Christ, and at times giving you a spirit of prayer, and of hearing, and tho’ you are not able to read much, yet I trust many sweet texts of scripture come to your mind, to encourage you to hope for salvation, through the doing and dying of Christ. I hope you will be led to know more of Christ and his precious salvation, more of his person and work, by the teaching of the Holy Spirit, that you may feel the earnests of heaven. The Lord has promised we shall know him, from the least to the greatest, that he will be merciful to our souls, and that we shall be satisfied with his favour. This is all that is worth living for, and as it is to his glory, so we glorify him by seeking after this.

I have many precious moments in this place alone. I find the Saviour very dear to my heart, and though I am much distressed at times about my family, on whose account I weep in secret very bitterly, and also about my friends, who have been persecuted for my sake. These things grieve my soul, but yet I have much to be thankful for. All the persons I am situated with, treat me with great respect, and my dear friends supply my wants. Thus I am favored, time is on the wing, eternity and heaven draws near, we shall soon have done with all temporal things, and God will then fill every power of the soul. May your life be in faith, and your death glorious. May God be with you, and among many mercies, may you be thankful the Lord has blessed you with so good a master and mistress, who indulges you with an opportunity of hearing the Gospel—what would I have given for such a situation once. May the Saviour bless them.

I remain, your’s, truly,
_Ruhamah_.