Chapter XIII: Act V: Scene I

_The cornets sound for the Act._

_The dumb show._

_Enter at one door_ CASTILIO _and_ FOROBOSCO, _with halberts; four
Pages with torches_; LUCIO, _bare_; PIERO, MARIA, _and_ ALBERTO,
_talking_; ALBERTO _draws out his dagger_, MARIA _her knife, aiming
to menace the Duke. Then_ GALEATZO, _betwixt two Senators, reading a
paper to them, at which they all make semblance of loathing_ PIERO,
_and knit their fists at him; two Ladies and_ NUTRICHE. _All these
go softly over the stage, whilst at the other door enters the ghost
of_ ANDRUGIO, _who passeth by them, tossing his torch about his head
in triumph. All forsake the stage, saving_ ANDRUGIO, _who, speaking,
begins the Act_.

_Ghost of And. Venit dies, tempusque, quo reddat suis Animam
squalentem sceleribus._

The[314] fist of strenuous vengeance is clutch'd,
And stern Vindicta tow'reth up aloft,
That she may fall with a more weighty paise,
And crush life's sap from out Piero's veins.
Now 'gins the leprous cores of ulcered sins
Wheel to a head; now is his fate grown mellow,
Instant to fall into the rotten jaws
Of chap-fall'n death. Now down looks Providence, 10
T'attend the last act of my son's revenge.
Be gracious, observation, to our scene,
For now the plot unites his scatter'd limbs
Close in contracted bands. The Florence Prince
(Drawn by firm notice of the Duke's black deeds)
Is made a partner in conspiracy.
The states of Venice are so swoll'n in hate
Against the Duke for his accursèd deeds
(Of which they are confirm'd by some odd letters
Found in dead Strotzo's study, which had past 20
Betwixt Piero and the murd'ring slave)
That they can scarce retain from bursting forth
In plain revolt. O, now triumphs my ghost,
Exclaiming, Heaven's just, for I shall see
The scourge of murder and impiety!

[_Exit._

[314] This line is ridiculed in _The Poetaster_, v. 1:--
"Break his back,
O poets all and some! for now we list
_Of strenuous vengeance to clutch the fist_."

SCENE I.

BALURDO _from under the Stage_.

_Bal._ Ho, who's above there, ho? A murrain on all
proverbs. They say hunger breaks through stone walls;
but I am as gaunt as lean-ribb'd famine, yet I can burst
through no stone walls. O now, Sir Jeffrey, show thy
valour, break prison and be hang'd. Nor shall the
darkest nook of hell contain the discontented Sir
Balurdo's ghost. Well, I am out well; I have put
off the prison to put on the rope. O poor shotten
herring, what a pickle art thou in! O hunger, how thou
domineer'st in my guts! O for a fat leg of ewe mutton
in stewed broth, or drunken song to feed on! I could
belch rarely, for I am all wind. O cold, cold, cold,
cold, cold! O poor knight! O poor Sir Jeffrey, sing
like an unicorn before thou dost dip thy horn in the
water of death. O cold, O sing, O cold, O poor
Sir Jeffrey, sing, sing! 16

[_A song._

_Enter_ ANTONIO _and_ Alberto _at several doors, their
rapiers drawn, in their masking attire_.

_Ant._ Vindicta!

_Alb._ Mellida!

_Ant._ Alberto!

_Alb._ Antonio!

_Ant._ Hath the Duke supp'd?

_Alb._ Yes, and triumphant revels mount aloft.
The Duke drinks deep to overflow his grief;
The court is rack'd to pleasure; each man strains
To feign a jocund eye. The Florentine----

_Ant._ Young Galeatzo!

_Alb._ Even he is mighty on our part. The states of Venice----

_Enter_ PANDULPHO, _running, in masking attire_.

_Pan._ Like high-swoll'n floods drive down the muddy dams
Of pent allegiance. O, my lusty bloods,
Heaven sits clapping of our enterprise. 30
I have been labouring general favour firm,
And I do find the citizens grown sick
With swallowing the bloody crudities
Of black Piero's acts; they fain would cast
And vomit him from off their government.
Now is the plot of mischief ript wide ope;
Letters are found 'twixt Strotzo and the Duke,
So clear apparent, yet more firmly strong
By suiting circumstance, that, as I walk'd,
Muffled, to eavesdrop speech, I might observe 40
The graver statesmen whispering fearfully.
Here one gives nods and hums what he would speak;
The rumour's got 'mong troop of citizens,
Making loud murmur, with confusèd din;
One shakes his head and sighs, "O ill-used power!"
Another frets, and sets his grinding teeth,
Foaming with rage, and swears this must not be;
Here one complots, and on a sudden starts,
And cries, O monstrous, O deep villainy!
All knit their nerves, and from beneath swoll'n brows 50
Appears a gloating eye of much mislike;
Whilst swart Piero's lips reak steam of wine,
Swallows lust-thoughts, devours all pleasing hopes,
With strong imagination of--what not?
O now Vindicta! that's the word we have,
A royal vengeance, or a royal grave!

_Ant._ Vindicta!

_Bal._ [_From beneath the stage._] I am acold.

_Pan._ Who's there? Sir Jeffrey?

_Bal._ A poor knight, god wot: the nose of thy knighthood
is bitten off with cold. O poor Sir Jeffrey, cold,
cold! 62

_Pan._ What chance of fortune hath tripp'd up his heels,
And laid him in the kennel, ha?

_Alb._ I will discourse it all. Poor honest soul,
Hadst thou a beaver to clasp up thy face,
Thou should'st associate us in masquery,
And see revenge.

_Bal._ Nay, and you talk of revenge, my stomach's up,
for I am most tyrannically hungry. A beaver! I have
a headpiece, a skull, a brain of proof, I warrant ye. 71

_Alb._ Slink to my chamber then, and tire thee.

_Bal._ Is there a fire?

_Alb._ Yes.

_Bal._ Is there a fat leg of ewe mutton?

_Alb._ Yes.

_Bal._ And a clean shirt?

_Alb._ Yes.

_Bal._ Then am I for you, most pathetically, and unvulgarly,
law! 80

[_Exit._

_Ant._ Resolved hearts, time curtails night, opportunity
shakes us his foretop. Steel your thoughts, sharp your
resolve, embolden your spirit, grasp your swords; alarum
mischief, and with an undaunted brow, out scout the
grim opposition of most menacing peril.

Hark! here proud pomp shoots mounting triumph up,
Borne in loud accents to the front of Jove.

_Pan._ O now, he that wants soul to kill a slave,
Let him die slave, and rot in peasant's grave.

_Ant._ Give me thy hand, and thine, most noble heart;
Thus will we live, and, but thus, never part. 91

[_Exeunt, twined together._

_Cornets sound a senet._

SCENE II.

_A Banqueting-hall._

_Enter_ CASTILIO _and_ FOROBOSCO; _two Pages, with torches_;
LUCIO, _bare_; PIERO _and_ MARIA, GALEATZO, _two
Senators, and_ NUTRICHE.

_Pier._ Sit close unto my breast, heart of my love;
Advance thy drooping eyes, thy son is drown'd.
Rich happiness that such a son is drown'd!
Thy husband's dead: life of my joys most bless'd,
In that the sapless log, that press'd thy bed
With an unpleasing weight, being lifted hence,
Even I, Piero, live to warm his place.
I tell you, lady, had you view'd us both
With an unpartial eye, when first we wooed
Your maiden beauties, I had borne the prize. 10
'Tis firm I had; for, fair, I ha' done that----

_Mar._ [_Aside._] Murder.

_Pier._ Which he would quake to have adventurèd;
Thou know'st I have----

_Mar._ [_Aside._] Murder'd my husband.

_Pier._ Borne out the shock of war, and done--what not,
That valour durst? Dost love me, fairest? Say.

_Mar._ As I do hate my son, I love thy soul.

_Pier._ Why, then, Io[315] to Hymen, mount a lofty note!
Fill[316] red-cheek'd Bacchus, let Lyæus float 20
In burnish'd goblets! Force the plump-lipp'd god.
Skip light lavoltas[317] in your full-sapp'd veins!
'Tis well, brim full. Even I have glut of blood:
Let quaff carouse. I drink this Burdeaux wine
Unto the health of dead Andrugio,
Feliche, Strotzo, and Antonio's ghosts.
[_Aside._] Would I had some poison to infuse it with;
That having done this honour to the dead,
I might send one to give them notice on't:
I would endear my favour to the full.-- 30
Boy, sing aloud; make heaven's vault to ring
With thy breath's strength. I drink. Now loudly sing.

[_A song. The song ended the cornets sound a senet._

_Enter_ ANTONIO, PANDULPHO, _and_ ALBERTO, _in maskery_;
BALURDO, _and a Torchbearer_.

_Pier._ Call Julio hither. Where's the little soul?
I saw him not to-day. Here's sport alone
For him, i'faith; for babes and fools, I know,
Relish not substance, but applaud the show.

_Gal._ (_To the conspirators as they stand in rank for the
measure._[318]) All blessèd fortune crown your brave
attempt. [_To_ ANTONIO.
I have a troop to second your attempt. [_To_ PANDULPHO.
The Venice states join hearts unto your hands. [_To_ ALBERTO.

_Pier._ By the delights in contemplation 40
Of coming joys, 'tis magnificent.
You grace my marriage eve with sumptuous pomp.
Sound still, loud music! O, your breath gives grace
To curious feet, that in proud measure pace.

_Ant._ [_Aside to_ MARIA.] Mother, is Julio's body----

_Mar._ [_Aside to_ ANTONIO.] Speak not, doubt not; all is
above all hope.

_Ant._ [_Aside._] Then will I dance and whirl about the air:
Methinks I am all soul, all heart, all spirit.
Now murder shall receive his ample merit.

_The measure._

_While the measure is dancing_, ANDRUGIO'S _ghost is placed
betwixt the music-houses_.[319]

_Pier._ Bring hither suckets, candied delicates. 50
We'll taste some sweetmeats, gallants, ere we sleep.

_Ant._--We'll cook your sweetmeats, gallants, with tart sour sauce.

_Ghost of And._ Here will I sit, spectator of revenge,
And glad my ghost in anguish of my foe.

[_The maskers whisper with_ PIERO.

_Pier._ Marry and shall; i'faith I were too rude,
If I gainsaid so civil fashion.--
The maskers pray you to forbear the room
Till they have banqueted. Let it be so:
No man presume to visit them, on death.

[_The maskers whisper again._

Only my self? O, why, with all my heart; 60

[_Exeunt all but_ PIERO _and the maskers_.

I'll fill your consort. Here Piero sits;
Come on, unmask, let's fall to.

[_The conspirators bind_ PIERO, _pluck out his tongue,
and triumph over him_.

_Ant._ Murder and torture! no prayers, no entreats!

_Pan._ We'll spoil your oratory. Out with his tongue.

_Ant._ I have 't, Pandulpho; the veins panting bleed,
Trickling fresh gore about my fist. Bind fast--so, so!

_Ghost of And._ Bless'd be thy hand! I taste the joys of heaven,
Viewing my son triumph in his black blood.

_Bal._ Down to the dungeon with him! I'll dungeon
with him! I'll fool you; Sir Jeffrey will be Sir Jeffrey;
I'll tickle you. 71

_Ant._ Behold, black dog!

_Pan._ Grinn'st thou, thou snurling[320] cur?

_Alb._ Eat thy black liver.

_Ant._ To thine anguish see
A fool triumphant in thy misery.
Vex him, Balurdo.

_Pan._ He weeps; now do I glorify my hands;
I had no vengeance, if I had no tears.

_Ant._ Fall to, good Duke. O these are worthless cates,
You have no stomach to them; look, look here:
Here lies a dish to feast thy father's gorge. 80

[_Uncovering the dish that contains_ LUCIO'S _limbs_.

Here's flesh and blood, which I am sure thou lov'st.

[PIERO _seems to condole his son_.

_Pan._ Was he thy flesh, thy son, thy dearest son?

_Ant._ So was Andrugio, my dearest father.

_Pan._ So was Feliche, my dearest son.

_Enter_ MARIA.

_Mar._ So was Andrugio my dearest husband.

_Ant._ My father found no pity in thy blood.

_Pan._ Remorse was banish'd, when thou slew'st my son.

_Mar._ When thou empoisoned'st my loving lord,
Exiled was piety.

_Ant._ Now therefore pity, piety, remorse, 90
Be aliens to our thoughts; grim fire-ey'd rage
Possess us wholly.

_Pan._ Thy son? true; and which is my most joy,
I hope no bastard, but thy very blood,
Thy true-begotten, most legitimate
And lovèd issue--there's the comfort on't.

_Ant._ Scum of the mud of hell!

_Alb._ Slime of all filth!

_Mar._ Thou most detested toad!

_Bal._ Thou most retort and obtuse rascal!

_Ant._ Thus charge we death at thee; remember hell,
And let the howling murmurs of black spirits, 101
The horrid torments of the damnèd ghosts,
Affright thy soul as it descendeth down
Into the entrails of the ugly deep.

_Pan._ Sa, sa; no, let him die, and die, and still be dying.

[_They offer to run all at_ PIERO, _and on a sudden stop_.

And yet not die till he hath died and died
Ten thousand deaths in agony of heart.

Ant. Now pellmell: thus the hand of Heaven chokes
The throat of murder. This for my father's blood!

[_He stabs_ PIERO.

_Pan._ This for my son! 110

_Alb._ This for them all!
And this, and this, sink to the heart of hell!

[_They run all at_ PIERO _with their rapiers_.

_Pan._ Murder for murder, blood for blood, doth yell!

_And._ 'Tis done, and now my soul shall sleep in rest:
Sons that revenge their father's blood are blest.

[_The curtains being drawn, exit_ ANDRUGIO.

_Enter_ GALEATZO, _two_ Senators, LUCIO, FOROBOSCO,
CASTILIO, _and Ladies_.

_1st Sen._ Whose hand presents this gory spectacle?

_Ant._ Mine.

_Pan._ No, mine.

_Alb._ No, mine.

_Ant._ I will not lose the glory of the deed, 120
Were all the tortures of the deepest hell
Fix'd to my limbs. I pierced the monster's heart
With an undaunted hand.

_Pan._ By yon bright-spangled front of heaven 'twas I!
'Twas I sluiced[321] out his life-blood.

_Alb._ Tush, to say truth, 'twas all.

_2d Sen._ Blest be you all, and may your honours live
Religiously held sacred, even for ever and ever.

_Gal._ (_to_ ANTONIO). Thou art another Hercules to us,
In ridding huge pollution from our state. 130

_1st Sen._ Antonio, belief is fortified
With most invincible approvements[322] of much wrong
By this Piero to thee. We have found
Beadrolls of mischief, plots of villainy,
Laid 'twixt the Duke and Strotzo, which we found
Too firmly acted.

_2d Sen._ Alas, poor orphant!

_Ant._ Poor!
Standing triumphant over Belzebub!
Having large interest for blood, and yet deem'd poor?

_1st Sen._ What satisfaction outward pomp can yield,
Or chiefest fortunes of the Venice state, 140
Claim freely. You are well-season'd props,
And will not warp, or lean to either part;
Calamity gives a man a steady heart.

_Ant._ We are amaz'd at your benignity;
But other vows constrain another course.

_Pan._ We know the world, and did we know no more,
We would not live to know; but since constraint
Of holy bands forceth us keep this lodge
Of dirt's corruption, till dread power calls
Our soul's appearance, we will live enclosed 150
In holy verge of some religious order,
Most constant votaries.

[_The curtains are drawn_, PIERO _departeth_.

_Ant._ First let's cleanse our hands,
Purge hearts of hatred, and entomb my love,
Over whose hearse I'll weep away my brain
In true affection's tears.
For her sake here I vow a virgin bed:
She lives in me, with her my love is dead.

_2d Sen._ We will attend her mournful exequies;
Conduct you to your calm sequestered life,
And then---- 160

_Mar._ Leave us to meditate on misery,
To sad our thought with contemplation
Of past calamities. If any ask
Where lives the widow of the poison'd lord?
Where lies the orphant of a murder'd father?
Where lies the father of a butcher'd son?
Where lives all woe?--conduct him to us three,
The down-cast ruins of calamity.

_Ant._[323] Sound doleful tunes, a solemn hymn advance,
To close the last act of my vengeance; 170
And when the subject of your passion's spent,
Sing _Mellida is dead_; all hearts will relent,
In sad condolement at that heavy sound.
Never more woe in lesser plot was found!
And, O, if ever time create a muse,
That to th' immortal fame of virgin faith
Dares once engage his pen to write her death,
Presenting it in some black tragedy,
May it prove gracious; may his style be deck'd
With freshest blooms of purest elegance;
May it have gentle presence, and the scenes suck'd up
By calm attention of choice audience; 181
And when the closing Epilogue appears,
Instead of claps, may it obtain but tears.

[_A song.--Exeunt omnes._

_Antonii vindictæ_ [_sic_].

[315] "Io"--the joyful cry with which Hymen was invoked by the
ancients. Cf. Catullus:--
"Ite, concinite in modum:
Io Hymen Hymenæe io,
Io Hymen Hymenæe!"

[316] Old eds. "Ful."

[317] A sort of waltz, described in Sir John Davies'
_Orchestra_, st. 70.--Cf. Chapman's _May Day_ (1611), iv. 1:--
"Fill red-cheek'd Bacchus, let the Burdeux grape
Skip like [sic] lavoltas in their swelling veins"
--lines made up from the present passage.

[318] "Measure"--a grave solemn dance.

[319] See Collier's _Hist. of Engl. Dram. Poetry_, iii. 251-2
(ed. 2).

[320] So Marston uses "kn_u_rl'd" (p. 166) for "gn_a_rl'd."

[321] Cf. _Richard II._, i. 1:--"_Sluiced out_ his innocent soul
through streams of blood."

[322] Proofs.

[323] Old eds. "_And._"

THE MALCONTENT.

_The Malcontent. By Iohn Marston._ 1604. _At London printed by V. S. for William Aspley, and are to be solde at his shop in Paules Church-yard._ 4to.

_The Malcontent. Augmented by Marston. With the Additions played by the Kings Maiesties servants. Written by Ihon Webster._ 1604. _At London Printed by V. S. for William Aspley, and are to be sold at his shop in Paules Church-yard._ 4to.

STORY OF THE PLAY.

Giovanni Altofronto, Duke of Genoa, driven from power by the plots of Pietro Jacomo, disguises himself and lives under the name of Malevole at the usurper's court, assuming the character of a malcontent. His identity is known only to his faithful friend Celso. A crafty courtier, Mendoza, who had assisted in dethroning Altofronto, has adulterous intercourse with Pietro's wife, Aurelia. Malevole exposes the intrigue to Pietro; but meanwhile Aurelia, induced by an old procuress, Maquerelle, to believe that her lover is faithless, discards Mendoza and engages in an intrigue with another courtier, Ferneze. Pietro, sword in hand, seeks Mendoza, who makes passionate protestations of his own innocence, and declares that the guilty person is Ferneze. On that very night Ferneze has an appointment with the Duchess; and it is agreed that Pietro with some of the guard shall break into the Duchess' chamber, while Mendoza waits with his drawn sword at the door. Ferneze is to be allowed to escape from the chamber, only to be received on the sword of Mendoza, who is then to stand over the body and pretend that he is guarding it from assault. Thus Mendoza will not only serve Pietro, but by his seeming generosity towards Ferneze will earn the gratitude of Aurelia, who, should she attempt to take vengeance on her husband, will not fail to make Mendoza acquainted with her plots, which he will incontinently reveal to Pietro. At the hour appointed, Pietro and the guard invade the Duchess' chamber; the flying gallant is stabbed by Mendoza and left for dead (though he afterwards recovers from the wound); Aurelia receives Mendoza again into favour, and practises with him to murder Pietro. Mendoza, selecting a time when Pietro had gone a-hunting, bribes Malevole to commit the murder. Malevole undertakes to kill Pietro by stealth in the forest, fling his body into the sea, and then return to announce that Pietro, distracted by grief at the dishonour brought on him by his wife, has made away with himself by leaping into the sea from a high rock. To the forest goes Malevole, finds Pietro, and exposes to him the plot; presently Celso appears bringing a hermit's weeds, into which Pietro shifts. They return to the court, and the pretended hermit describes with much detail how he saw Pietro perish, the narrative being substantiated by Malevole. Mendoza is proclaimed Duke, and his first act is to pronounce a sentence of perpetual banishment on Aurelia. He then commissions Malevole to bring from the citadel (where she is confined) the wife of the banished Altofronto, the virtuous Maria, whom he intends to make his Duchess. His brain is now exercised to procure the destruction of the supposed murderers. Malevole is instructed to poison the hermit at a supper given in the citadel, and the hermit on the same occasion is to poison Malevole; thus two awkward agents will be removed, and the suspicion will fall on Maria, whose fears will drive her to submit to Mendoza. Pietro informs Malevole of the instructions he had received, and learns that similar instructions have been given to Malevole. Weighed down with sorrow at his own dishonour, and disgusted with Mendoza's villainy, Pietro declares his determination to dedicate his life to religious solitude, and make it his one care that the banished Altofronto shall be restored to the dukedom. Thereupon Malevole puts off his disguise, and Pietro beholds the banished Duke. Ferneze now approaches with Celso, and receives pardon from Pietro, who had supposed him to be dead. The four then take counsel how they shall depose Mendoza. Malevole goes to the usurper and announces that he has poisoned the hermit; he then produces a box of poison, which, he declares, will cause instant death on being opened and held to the nostrils. Mendoza opens the box and tries its effects on Malevole, who feigns to fall dead. A masque is ordered by Mendoza to be given in honour of Maria, who shows herself indifferent both to the tyrant's flatteries and threats. At the entertainment Malevole, Pietro, and Ferneze appear masked; Malevole chooses Maria as his partner in the dance, and Pietro is matched with Aurelia, who has deeply repented of her misconduct. At the close of the dance, during which Malevole and Pietro have discovered themselves to their partners, the maskers environ Mendoza, level their pistols at his head, and unmask. Altofronto is received with joyful acclamations by the assembled company, and Mendoza--whose life the restored Duke disdains to take--is banished with shameful ignominy.

BENIAMINO[324] JONSONIO,

POETÆ

ELEGANTISSIMO,

GRAVISSIMO,

AMICO

SVO, CANDIDO ET CORDATO,

IOHANNES MARSTON,

MVSARVM ALVMNVS,

ASPERAM HANC SVAM THALIAM

D. D.

[324] Ed. 2. "_Beniamini._"

TO THE READER.

I am an ill orator; and, in truth, use to indite more honestly than eloquently, for it is my custom to speak as I think, and write as I speak.

In plainness, therefore, understand, that in some things I have willingly erred, as in supposing a Duke of Genoa, and in taking names different from that city's families: for which some may wittily accuse me; but my defence shall be as honest as many reproofs unto me have been most malicious. Since, I heartily protest, it was my care to write so far from reasonable offence, that even strangers, in whose state I laid my scene, should not from thence draw any disgrace to any, dead or living. Yet, in despite of my endeavours, I understand some have been most unadvisedly over-cunning in misinterpreting me, and with subtlety as deep as hell have maliciously spread ill rumours, which, springing from themselves, might to themselves have heavily returned. Surely I desire to satisfy every firm spirit, who, in all his actions, proposeth to himself no more ends than God and virtue do, whose intentions are always simple: to such I protest that, with my free understanding, I have not glanced at disgrace of any, but of those whose unquiet studies labour innovation, contempt of holy policy, reverend, comely superiority, and established unity: for the rest of my supposed tartness, I fear not but unto every worthy mind it will be approved so general and honest as may modestly pass with the freedom of a satire. I would fain leave the paper; only one thing afflicts me, to think that scenes, invented merely to be spoken, should be enforcively published to be read, and that the least hurt I can receive is to do myself the wrong. But, since others otherwise would do me more, the least inconvenience is to be accepted. I have myself, therefore, set forth this comedy; but so, that my enforced absence must much rely upon the printer's discretion: but I shall entreat slight errors in orthography may be as slightly over-passed, and that the unhandsome shape which this trifle in reading presents, may be pardoned for the pleasure it once afforded you when it was presented with the soul of lively action.

_Sine aliqua dementia nullus Phoebus._[325]

[325] For this motto ed. 1. gives "_Me mea sequentur fata._"

THE INDUCTION[326]

TO

THE MALCONTENT, AND THE ADDITIONS ACTED BY
THE KING'S MAJESTY'S SERVANTS.

WRITTEN BY JOHN WEBSTER.

_Enter_ W. SLY,[327] _a_ Tire-man _following him with a stool_.

_Tire-man._ Sir, the gentlemen will be angry if you sit
here.

_Sly._ Why, we may sit upon the stage at the private
house.[328] Thou dost not take me for a country gentleman,
dost? dost think I fear hissing?[329] I'll hold my
life thou tookest me for one of the players.

_Tire-man._ No, sir.

_Sly._ By God's slid, if you had, I would have given you
but sixpence[330] for your stool. Let them that have stale
suits sit in the galleries. Hiss at me! He that will be
laughed out of a tavern or an ordinary, shall seldom feed
well, or be drunk in good company.--Where's Harry
Condell, Dick Burbadge, and William Sly? Let me
speak with some of them. 14

_Tire-man._ An't please you to go in, sir, you may.

_Sly._ I tell you, no: I am one that hath seen this play
often, and can give them intelligence for their action: I
have most of the jests here in my table-book.

_Enter_ SINKLO.[331]

_Sinklo._ Save you, coz!

_Sly._ O, cousin, come, you shall sit between my legs
here. 21

_Sinklo._ No, indeed, cousin: the audience then will
take me for a viol-de-gambo, and think that you play
upon me.

_Sly._ Nay, rather that I work upon you, coz.

_Sinklo._ We stayed for you at supper last night at my
cousin Honeymoon's, the woollen-draper. After supper
we drew cuts for a score of apricocks, the longest cut
still to draw an apricock: by this light, 'twas Mistress
Frank Honeymoon's fortune still to have the longest
cut: I did measure for the women.--What be these,
coz? 32

_Enter_ D. BURBADGE,[332] H. CONDELL, _and_ J. LOWIN.

_Sly._ The players.--God save you!

_Burbadge._ You are very welcome.

_Sly._ I pray you, know this gentleman, my cousin;
'tis Master Doomsday's son, the usurer.

_Condell._ I beseech you, sir, be covered.

_Sly._ No,[333] in good faith, for mine ease: look you, my
hat's the handle to this fan: God's so, what a beast
was I, I did not leave my feather at home! Well,
but I'll take an order with you. 41

[_Puts his feather in his pocket._

_Burbadge._ Why do you conceal your feather, sir?

_Sly._ Why, do you think I'll have jests broken upon
me in the play, to be laughed at? this play hath beaten
all your gallants out of the feathers: Blackfriars hath
almost spoiled Blackfriars for feathers.[334]

_Sinklo._ God's so, I thought 'twas for somewhat our
gentlewomen at home counselled me to wear my feather
to the play: yet I am loth to spoil it.

_Sly._ Why, coz? 50

_Sinklo._ Because I got it in the tilt-yard; there was a
herald broke my pate for taking it up: but I have worn
it up and down the Strand, and met him forty times
since, and yet he dares not challenge it.

_Sly._ Do you hear, sir? this play is a bitter play.

_Condell._ Why, sir, 'tis neither satire nor moral, but the
mean passage of a history: yet there are a sort of discontented
creatures that bear a stingless envy to great
ones, and these will wrest the doings of any man to their
base, malicious appliment; but should their interpretation
come to the test, like your marmoset, they presently
turn their teeth to their tail and eat it. 62

_Sly._ I will not go so far with you; but I say, any
man that hath wit may censure,[335] if he sit in the twelve-penny
room;[336] and I say again, the play is bitter.

_Burbadge._ Sir, you are like a patron that, presenting
a poor scholar to a benefice, enjoins him not to rail
against anything that stands within compass of his
patron's folly. Why should not we enjoy the ancient
freedom of poesy? Shall we protest to the ladies that
their painting makes them angels? or to my young
gallant that his expenses in the brothel shall gain him
reputation? No, sir, such vices as stand not accountable
to law should be cured as men heal tetters, by casting
ink upon them. Would you be satisfied in anything
else, sir? 76

_Sly._ Ay, marry, would I: I would know how you
came by this play?

_Condell._ Faith, sir, the book was lost; and because
'twas pity so good a play should be lost, we found it,
and play it. 81

_Sly._ I wonder you would play it, another company
having interest in it.

_Condell._ Why not Malevole in folio with us, as Jeronimo
in decimo-sexto[337] with them? They taught us a
name for our play; we call it _One for another_.

_Sly._ What are your additions?

_Burbadge._ Sooth, not greatly needful; only as your
salad to your great feast, to entertain a little more time,
and to abridge the not-received custom of music in our
theatre. I must leave you, sir.

[_Exit._

_Sinklo._ Doth he play the Malcontent. 92

_Condell._ Yes, sir.

_Sinklo._ I durst lay four of mine ears the play is not so
well acted as it hath been.

_Condell._ O, no, sir, nothing _ad Parmenonis suem_.[338]

_Lowin._ Have you lost your ears, sir, that you are so
prodigal of laying them?

_Sinklo._ Why did you ask that, friend?

_Lowin._ Marry, sir, because I have heard of a fellow
would offer to lay a hundred-pound wager that was not
worth five baubees:[339] and in this kind you might venture
four of your elbows; yet God defend[340] your coat should
have so many! 104

_Sinklo._ Nay, truly, I am no great censurer; and yet I
might have been one of the college of critics once. My
cousin here hath an excellent memory indeed, sir.

_Sly._ Who, I? I'll tell you a strange thing of myself;
and I can tell you, for one that never studied the art of
memory, 'tis very strange too. 110

_Condell._ What's that, sir?

_Sly._ Why, I'll lay a hundred pound, I'll walk but once
down by the Goldsmiths' Row in Cheap, take notice of
the signs, and tell you them with a breath instantly.

_Lowin._ 'Tis very strange.

_Sly._ They begin as the world did, with Adam and
Eve. There's in all just five and fifty.[341] I do use to
meditate much when I come to plays too. What do
you think might come into a man's head now, seeing all
this company? 120

_Condell._ I know not, sir.

_Sly._ I have an excellent thought. If some fifty of the
Grecians that were crammed in the horse'-belly had
eaten garlic, do you not think the Trojans might have
smelt out their knavery?

_Condell._ Very likely.

_Sly._ By God, I would they[342] had, for I love Hector
horribly.

_Sinklo._ O, but, coz, coz!
"Great[343] Alexander, when he came to the tomb of Achilles,
Spake with a big loud voice, O thou thrice blessèd and happy!" 131

_Sly._ Alexander was an ass to speak so well of a filthy
cullion.[344]

_Lowin._ Good sir, will you leave the stage? I'll help
you to a private room.[345]

_Sly._ Come, coz, let's take some tobacco.[346]--Have you
never a prologue?

_Lowin._ Not any, sir.

_Sly._ Let me see, I will make one extempore.

[_Come[347] to them, and fencing of a congey with arms
and legs, be round with them._

Gentlemen,[348] I could wish for the women's sakes you
had all soft cushions; and, gentlewomen, I could wish
that for the men's sakes you had all more easy standings.

What would they wish more but the play now? and
that they shall have instantly. 144

[_Exeunt._

[326] The Induction was added in ed. 2.

[327] For an account of William Sly and the other actors
introduced in the Induction, see Collier's _Memoirs of the
Principal Actors in the Plays of Shakespeare_.

[328] _The Malcontent_ had been acted at the Blackfriars Theatre,
a private theatre. It was afterwards acted at the Globe, a public
theatre.

[329] It was a common practice for gallants to sit on the stage;
but when a coxcomb obstructed the view by planting himself in a
prominent position, the audience naturally took offence. Dekker,
in the chapter of the _Gull's Horn-Book_, describing "how a
gallant should behave himself at a play-house," writes:--"But on
the very rushes where the comedy is to dance, yea, and under the
state of Cambyses himself, must our feathered estridge, like a
piece of ordnance, be planted valiantly (because impudently),
_beating down the mews and hisses of the opposed rascality_."

[330] Sixpence, as we learn from the _Gull's Horn-Book_,
Induction to _Cynthia's Revels_, &c., was the usual charge for
the loan of a stool. Francis Lenton in his _Young Gallant's
Whirligig_ tells us of an "expensive fool" who was ready to "pay
an angel for a paltry stool." It was not uncommon to pay a
shilling for the convenience.

[331] Dr. Karl Elze in his _Notes on the Elizabethan Dramatists_
(2nd. ser., pp. 160-4) indulges in some speculations about this
actor.

[332] From _A Funeral Elegy_ on Burbadge, first printed by
Collier, we learn that the great actor took the part of Malevole
in _The Malcontent_:--
"Vindex is gone, and what a loss was he!
Frankford, Brachiano, and Malevole."

The elegy is in the main unquestionably genuine.

[333] "A quotation from the part of Osrick in _Hamlet_. Sly might
have been the original performer of that character."--_Steevens._

[334] The meaning is that in _The Malcontent_, which had been
originally acted at Blackfriars Theatre, the practice of wearing
feathers had been so ridiculed that the feather-makers of
Blackfriars had suffered injury in their business. In v. 4 occurs
the passage in which the use of feathers is ridiculed:--"For as
now-a-days no courtier but has his mistress, no captain but has
his cockatrice, no cuckold but has his horns, and _no fool but
has his feather._" &c. Blackfriars was noted as being the
residence of Puritans, many of whom followed the trade of
feather-makers. There is some amusing ridicule of the Puritan
feather-makers in Ben Jonson's _Bartholomew Fair_, Randolph's
_Muses' Looking-Glass_, &c.

[335] Judge.

[336] Box.

[337] The expression "in decimo sexto" is used in reference to
the company of the Children of the Chapel, acting at Blackfriars.
Cf. Middleton's _Father Hubburd's Tales_ (_Works_, ed. Bullen,
viii. 64):--"But for fear I interrupt this _small actor in less
than decimo sexto_, "&c. The Children's Company at the
Blackfriars seems to have appropriated Jeronimo, _i.e._, _The
Spanish Tragedy_, in which the King's Company at the Globe had an
interest; whereupon the King's Company retaliated by acting
Malevole, _i.e. The Malcontent_. The expression "Malevole _in
folio_" means "_The Malcontent_ acted by _men-actors_."--Dyce did
not understand the passage.

[338] A proverbial saying. "L. S." in the Shakespeare Society's
_Papers_, ii. 85 (1847), quotes from Plutarch's Symposium, v.
1:--"For upon what other account should men be moved to admire
_Parmeno's sow_ so much as to pass it into a proverb? Yet 'tis
reported that Parmeno, being very famous for imitating the
grunting of a pig, some endeavoured to rival and outdo him. And
when the hearers, being prejudiced, cried out, 'Very well,
indeed, but nothing comparable to Parmeno's sow,' one took a pig
under his arm and came upon the stage; and when, tho' they heard
the very pig, they still continued, 'This is nothing comparable
to Parmeno's sow,' he threw his pig amongst them to show that
they judged according to opinion and not truth" (Creech's
translation). Phædrus has a fable on the subject.

[339] Halfpennies.

[340] Forbid.

[341] "This is a pleasant exaggeration on the part of Sly. There
were in all, as Stow tells, 'ten fair dwelling-houses and
fourteen shops.' See 'Goldsmiths' Row' in _Handbook of London_,
ed. 1850.--_P. Cunningham_ (_Notes and Queries_, 2d ser. vol. i.
71).

[342] The old ed. "he."

[343] These lines are a translation by Gabriel Harvey's younger
brother John, of some lines of Petrarch, Son. cliii. They are
quoted with two other "lusty hexameters" in a letter of Gabriel
Harvey to Spenser. See Grosart's edition of Gabriel Harvey, i.
89-90.

[344] Rogue.

[345] Box.

[346] It was the practice for gallants to smoke in the theatre.
"Fie, this stinking tobacco kills me!" says the citizen's wife,
in _The Knight of the Burning Pestle_, to the gallants smoking on
the stage: "Would there were none in England! Now, I pray,
gentlemen, what good does this stinking tobacco do you? nothing,
I warrant you: make chimnies o' your faces!"

[347] This stage direction is printed as part of the text in old
ed.

[348] "This seems intended as a burlesque [?] on the epilogue to
_As You Like It_."--_Reed._

_DRAMATIS PERSONÆ._

GIOVANNI ALTOFRONTO, _disguised as_ MALEVOLE, _sometime Duke
of Genoa_.
PIETRO JACOMO, _Duke of Genoa_.
MENDOZA, _a minion to the_ Duchess of PIETRO JACOMO.
CELSO, _a friend to_ ALTOFRONTO.
BILIOSO, _an old choleric marshal_.
PREPASSO, _a gentleman-usher_.
FERNEZE, _a young courtier, and enamoured on the Duchess_.
FERRARDO, _a minion to_ DUKE PIETRO JACOMO.
EQUATO, }
GUERRINO, } _two courtiers_.
PASSARELLO, _fool to_ BILIOSO.

AURELIA, _Duchess to_ DUKE PIETRO JACOMO.
MARIA, _Duchess to_ DUKE ALTOFRONTO.
EMILIA, }
BIANCA, } _two ladies attending on_ AURELIA.
MAQUERELLE, _an old panderess_.

THE SCENE--GENOA.

THE MALCONTENT.[349]