Chapter XII: Part 12

Ἰδού, πάλιν ἐγὼ τὰ συνήθη τεχνιτεύω λεξείδια καὶ οὐδ᾽ ἐμαυτῷ συγχωρῶ φθέγγεσθαι ὡς ἔτυχεν ἀδεῶς καὶ ἐλευθέρως, ἀλλὰ ὑπὸ τῆς συνήθους σκαιότητος καὶ ἐμαυτὸν συκοφαντῶ. ταῦτά τις καὶ τοιαῦτ᾽ ἂν λέγοι πρὸς ἄνδρας οὐ τὰ πρὸς τοὺς ἄρχοντας μόνον, [C] ἀλλὰ καὶ τὰ πρὸς τοὺς θεοὺς ἐλευθέρους εἶναι θέλοντας, ὅπως τις εὔνους αὐτοῖς ὥσπερ πατὴρ ἤπιος νομισθείη, φύσει πονηρὸς ὢν ὥσπερ ἐγώ. ἀνέχου τοίνυν αὐτῶν μισούντων καὶ λοιδορούντων λάθρᾳ ἢ καὶ φανερῶς, ἐπειδὴ κολακεύειν ἐνόμισας τοὺς ἐν τοῖς ἱεροῖς ὁρμῇ μιᾷ(708) σε ἐπαινοῦντας. οὐ γὰρ οἶμαι διενοήθης ὅπως ἁρμόσει τῶν ἀνδρῶν οὔτε τοῖς ἐπιτηδεύμασιν οὔτε τοῖς βίοις οὔτε τοῖς ἤθεσιν. εἶεν. ἀλλ᾽ ἐκεῖνο τίς ἀνέξεταί σου; καθεύδεις ὡς ἐπίπαν νύκτωρ μόνος οὐδ᾽ ἔστιν οὐδέν, [D] ὅ σου τὸν ἄγριον καὶ ἀνήμερον μαλάξει θυμόν· ἀποκέκλεισται δὲ πάσῃ πανταχοῦ πάροδος γλυκυθυμίᾳ· καὶ τὸ μέγιστον τῶν κακῶν, ὅτι τοιοῦτον ζῶν βίον εὐφραίνῃ καὶ πεποίησαι τὰς κοινὰς κατάρας ἡδονήν. εἶτα ἀγανακτεῖς, εἴ του τὰ τοιαῦτα ἀκοίεις; ἐξὸν εἰδέναι χάριν τοῖς ὑπ᾽ εὐνοίας ἐμμελέστερόν σε νουθετοῦσιν ἐν τοῖς ἀναπαίστοις ἀποψιλῶσαι μὲν τὰς παρειάς, καλὰ δὲ ἀπὸ σαυτοῦ πρῶτον ἀρξάμενον δεικνύειν πάντα τῷ δήμῳ τῷ φιλογέλωτι τῷδε θεάματα, [346] μίμους, ὀρχηστάς, ἥκιστα αἰσχυνομένας γυναῖκας, παιδάρια περὶ κάλλους ἁμιλλώμενα ταῖς γυναιξίν, ἄνδρας ἀπεψιλωμένους οὔτι τὰς γνάθους μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἅπαν τὸ σῶμα, λειότεροι τῶν γυναικῶν ὅπως φαίνοιντο τοῖς ἐντυγχάνουσιν, ἑορτάς, πανηγύρεις, οὔτι μὰ Δία τὰς ἱεράς, ἐν αἷς χρὴ σωφρονεῖν· ἅλις μὲν γὰρ ἐκείνων ἐστίν, ὥσπερ τῆς δρυός, [B] καὶ πολὺς ὁ κόρος αὐτῶν. ἔθυσεν ὁ καῖσαρ ἐν τῷ τοῦ Διὸς ἅπαξ, εἶτα ἐν τῷ τῆς Τύχης, εἰς τὸ τῆς Δήμητρος τρὶς ἐφεξῆς ἐβάδισεν· ἐπιλέλησμαι γὰρ εἰς τὸ τῆς Δάφνης ὁσάκις εἰσῆλθον πέμενος, προδοθὲν μὲν ὀλιγωρίᾳ τῶν φυλάκων, ταῖς δὲ τῶν ἀθέων ἀνδρῶν τόλμαις ἀφανισθέν. ἡ Σύρων ἥκει νουμηνία, καὶ ὁ καῖσαρ αὖθις εἰς Φιλίου Διός· εἶτα ἡ πάγκοινος ἑορτή, καὶ ὁ καῖσαρ εἰς τὸ τῆς [C] Τύχης ἔρχεται τέμενοσ. ἐπισχὼν δὲ τὴν ἀποφράδα πάλιν ἐς Φιλίου Διὸς τὰς εὐχὰς ἀναλαμβάνει κατὰ τὰ πάτρια. καὶ τίς ἀνέξεται τοσαυτάκις εἰς ἱερὰ φοιτῶντος καίσαρος, ἐξὸν ἅπαξ ἢ δὶς ἐνοχλεῖν τοῖς θεοῖς, ἐπιτελεῖν δὲ τὰς πανηγύρεις ἐκείνας, ὁπόσαι κοιναὶ μέν εἰσι παντὶ τῷ δήμῳ καὶ ὧν ἔξεστι μετέχειν οὐ τοῖς ἐπισταμένοις μόνον θεούς,(709) ἀλλὰ καὶ τοῖς ὦν(710) ἐστιν ἡ πόλις πλήρης; ἡδονὴ δὲ πολλὴ καὶ χάριτες, ὁποίας ἄν τις εὐφραίνοιτο διηνεκῶς καρπούμενος, [D] ὁρῶν ὀρχουμένους ἄνδρας καὶ παιδάρια καὶ γύναια πολλά.

(See there I am again, busy with my usual phrase‐making! I do not even allow myself to speak out at random fearlessly and freely, but with my usual awkwardness I am laying information against myself. It is thus and in words like these that one ought to address men who want to be free not only with respect to those who govern them but to the gods also, in order that one may be considered well‐disposed towards them, “like an indulgent father,”(711) even though one is by nature an ill‐conditioned person like myself: “Bear with them then, when they hate and abuse you in secret or even openly, since you thought that those who applauded you with one accord in the temples were only flattering you. For surely you did not suppose that you would be in harmony with the pursuits or the lives or the temperaments of these men. I grant that. But who will bear with this other habit of yours? You always sleep alone at night, and there is no way of softening your savage and uncivilised temper—since all avenues are closed to anything that might sweeten your disposition,—and the worst of all these evils is that you delight in living that sort of life and have laid pleasure under a general ban. Then can you feel aggrieved if you hear yourself spoken of in such terms? No, you ought to feel grateful to those who out of kindness of heart admonish you wittily in anapaestic verse to shave your cheeks smooth, and then, beginning with yourself, first to show to this laughter‐loving people all sorts of fine spectacles, mimes, dancers, shameless women, boys who in their beauty emulate women, and men who have not only their jaws shaved smooth but their whole bodies too, so that those who meet them may think them smoother than women; yes and feasts too and general festivals, not, by Zeus, the sacred ones at which one is bound to behave with sobriety. No, we have had enough of those, like the oak tree in the proverb;(712) we are completely surfeited with them. The Emperor sacrificed once in the temple of Zeus, then in the temple of Fortune; he visited the temple of Demeter three times in succession.” (I have in fact forgotten how many times I entered the shrine of Daphne, which had been first abandoned owing to the carelessness of its guardians, and then destroyed by the audacious acts of godless men.(713)) “The Syrian New Year arrived, and again the Emperor went to the temple of Zeus the Friendly One. Then came the general festival, and the Emperor went to the shrine of Fortune. Then, after refraining on the forbidden day,(714) again he goes to the temple of Zeus the Friendly One, and offers up prayers according to the custom of our ancestors. Now who could put up with an Emperor who goes to the temples so often, when it is in his power to disturb the gods only once or twice, and to celebrate the general festivals which are for all the people in common, those in which not only men whose profession it is to have knowledge of the gods can take part, but also the people who have crowded into the city? For pleasure is here in abundance, and delights whose fruits one could enjoy continuously; for instance the sight of men and pretty boys dancing, and any number of charming women.”)

Ὅταν οὖν ταῦτα λογίσωμαι, μακαρίζω μὲν ὑμᾶς τῆς εὐδαιμονίας, ἐμαυτῷ δὲ οὐκ ἄχθομαι· φίλα γάρ ἐστί μοι κατά τινα θεὸν ἴσως ταῦτα. διόπερ οὐδ᾽ ἀγανακτῶ, εὖ ἴστε, τοῖς δυσχεραίνουσί μου τῷ βίῳ καὶ τῇ προαιρέσει. προστίθημι δ᾽ αὐτὸς ὅσα δυνατόν ἐστί μοι τοῖς εἰς ἐμαυτὸν σκώμμασι μειζόνως ἐπικαταχέων ἐμαυτοῦ ταυτασὶ τὰς λοιδορίας, [347] ὃς ὑπὸ ἀφροσύνης οὐ συνὴκα, ποταπὸν ἐξ ἀρχῆς τὸ τῆσδε τῆς πόλεως ἦθος, καὶ ταῦτα τῶν ἡλικιωτῶν τῶν ἐμῶν, ὡς ἐμαυτὸν πείθω, βιβλία ἀνελίξας οὐδενὸς ἀριθμὸν ἐλάττω. λέγεταί τοί ποτε τὸν ἐπώνυμον τῆσδε τῆς πόλεως βασιλέα, μᾶλλον δὲ οὗπερ ἐπώνυμος ἥδε ἡ πόλις συνῳκίσθη· πεπόλισται(715) μὲν γὰρ ὑπὸ Σελεύκου, τοὔνομα δὲ ἔχει ἀπὸ τοῦ Σελεύκου παιδός· ὃν δή φασι δι᾽ ὑπερβολὴν ἁβρότητος [B] καὶ τρυφῆς ἐρῶντα ἀεὶ καὶ ἐρώμενον τέλος ἄδικον ἔρωτα τῆς ἑαυτοῦ μητρυιᾶς ἐρασθῆναι· κρύπτειν δ᾽ ἐθέλοντα τὸ πάθος οὐ δύνασθαι, τὸ σῶμα δ᾽ αὐτῷ κατὰ μικρὸν τηκόμενον ἀφανῶς οἴχεσθαι, καὶ ὑπορρεῖν τὰς δυνάμεις, καὶ τὸ πνεῦμα ἔλαττον εἶναι τοῦ συνήθους. ἐῴκει δ᾽ οἶμαι τὰ(716) κατ᾽ αὐτὸν αἰνίγματι, σαφῆ μὲν οὐκ ἐχούσης αἰτίαν τῆς νόσου, μᾶλλον δὲ οὐδ᾽ αὐτῆς, [C] ἥτις ποτέ ἐστι, φαινομένης, ἐναργοῦς δ᾽ οὔσης τῆς περὶ τὸ μειράκιον ἀσθηνίεας. ἐνθάδε μέγας ἆθλος ἰατρῷ προυτέθη τῷ Σαμίῳ τὴν νόσον, ἥτις ποτέ ἐστιν, ἐξευρεῖν. ὁ δὲ ὑπονοήσας ἐκ τῶν Ὁμήρου, τίνες ποτέ εἰσιν αἱ γυιοβόροι μελεδῶναι, καὶ ὅτι πολλάκις οὐκ ἀσθένεια σώματος, ἀλλ᾽ ἀρροστία ψυχῆς αἰτία γίγνεται τηκεδόνος τῷ σώματι, καὶ τὸ μειράκιον ὁρῶν ὑπό τε ἡλικίας καὶ συνηθείας οὐκ ἀναφρόδιτον, ὁδὸν ἐτράπετο τοιαύτην ἐπὶ τὴν τοῦ νοσήματος θήραν. [D] καθίζει πλησίον τῆς κλίνης ἀφορῶν εἰς τὸ πρόσωπον τοῦ μειρακίου, παριέναι κελεύσας καλούς τε καὶ καλὰς ἀπὸ τῆς βασιλίδος ἀρξαμένους. ἡ δ᾽ ὡς ἦλθεν, ἐπισκεψομένη δῆθεν αὐτόν, αὐτίκα ἐδίδου τὰ συνθήματα τοῦ πάθους ὁ νεανίας, ἆσθμα τῶν θλιβομένον ἠφίει, ἐπέχειν γὰρ αὐτὸ κινούμενον καίπερ σφόδρα ἐθέλων οὐχ οἷός τε ἦν, καὶ ταραχὴ ἦν τοῦ πνεύματος καὶ πολὺ περὶ τὸ πρόσωπον ἐρύθημα. [348] ταῦτα ὁρῶν ὁ ἰατρὸς προσάγει τῷ στέρνῳ τὴν χεῖρα, καὶ ἐπήδα δεινῶς ἡ καρδία καὶ ἔξω ἵετο. τοιαῦτα ἄττα ἔπασχεν ἐκείνης παρούσης· ἐπεὶ δὲ ἀπῆλθεν, ἐπιόντων ἄλλων, ἀτρέμας εἶχε καὶ ἦν ὅμοιος τοῖς οὐδὲν πάσχουσι. συνιδὼν δὲ τὸ πάθος ὁ Ἐρασίστρατος φράζει πρὸς τὸν βασιλέα, καὶ ὃς ὑπὸ τοῦ φιλόπαις εἶναι παραχωρεῖν ἔφη τῷ παιδὶ τῆς γαμετῆς. ὁ δὲ αὐτίκα μὲν ἠρνήσατο· τελευτήσαντος δὲ τοῦ πατρὸς μικρὸν ὕστερον, ἣν πρότερον διδομένην αὐτῷ χάριν εὐγενῶς ἠρνήθη, μάλα κραταιῶς μετεδίωξεν.

(When I take all this into account, I do indeed congratulate you on your good fortune, though I do not reproach myself. For perhaps it is some god who has made me prefer my own ways. Be assured then that I have no grievance against those who quarrel with my way of life and my choice. But I myself add, as far as I can, to the sarcasms against myself and with a more liberal hand I pour down on my own head these abusive charges. For it was due to my own folly that I did not understand what has been the temper of this city from the beginning; and that too though I am convinced that I have turned over quite as many books as any man of my own age. You know of course the tale that is told about the king who gave his name to this city—or rather whose name the city received when it was colonised, for it was founded by Seleucus, though it takes its name from the son(717) of Seleucus—; they say(718) then that out of excessive softness and luxury the latter was constantly falling in love and being loved, and finally he conceived a dishonourable passion for his own step‐mother. And though he wished to conceal his condition he could not, and little by little his body began to waste away and to become transparent, and his powers to wane, and his breathing was feebler than usual. But what could be the matter with him was, I think, a sort of riddle, since his malady had no visible cause, or rather it did not even appear what was its nature, though the youth’s weakness was manifest. Then the physician of Samos(719) was set a difficult problem, namely to discover what was the nature of the malady. Now he, suspecting from the words of Homer(720) what is the nature of “cares that devour the limbs,” and that in many cases it is not a bodily weakness but an infirmity of soul that causes a wasting of the body; and seeing moreover that the youth was very susceptible to love because of his time of life and his habits, he took the following way of tracking down the disease. He sat near the youth’s couch and watched his face, after ordering handsome youths and women to walk past him, beginning with the queen(721) herself. Now when she entered, apparently to see how he was, the young man at once began to show the symptoms of his malady. He breathed like one who is being choked; for though he was very anxious to control his agitated breathing, he could not, but it became disordered, and a deep blush spread over his face. The physician on seeing this laid his hand to his breast, and found that his heart was beating terribly fast and was trying to burst forth from his breast. Such were his symptoms while she was present; but when she had gone away and others came in he remained calm and was like a man in a normal state of health. Then Erasistratus saw what ailed him and told the king, and he out of love for his son said that he would give up his wife to him. Now the youth for the moment refused; but when his father died not long after, he sought with the greatest vehemence the favour which he had so honourably refused when it was first offered to him.(722))

[B] Ἀντιόχῳ μὲν δὴ ταῦτα ἐποιήθη. τοῖς δ᾽ ἀπ᾽ ἐκείνου γενομένοις οὐ νέμεσις ζηλοῦν τὸν οἰκιστὴν ἢ τὸν ἐπώνυμον.(723) ὥσπερ γὰρ ἐν τοῖς φυτοῖς εἰκός ἐστι διαδίδοσθαι μέχρι πολλοῦ τὰς ποιότητας, ἴσως δὲ καὶ ἐπίπαν ὅμοια τὰ μετὰ ταῦτα τοῖς ἐξ ὧν ἐβλάστησε φύεσθαι, οὕτω καὶ ἐπὶ τῶν ἀνθρώπων εἶναι εἰκὸς παραπλήσια τὰ ἤθη τῶν ἀπογόνων τοῖς προγόνοις. ἐγώ τοι καὶ αὐτὸς ἔγνων Ἀθηναίους [C] Ἑλλήνων φιλοτιμοτάτους καὶ φιλανθρωποτάτους· καίτοι τοῦτό γε ἐπιεικῶς ἐν πᾶσιν εἶδον τοῖς Ἕλλησιν, ἔχω δ᾽ ὑπὲρ αὐτῶν εἰπεῖν, ὡς καὶ φιλόθεοι μάλιστα πάντων εἰσὶ καὶ δεξιοὶ τὰ πρὸς τοὺς ξένους, καθόλου μὲν Ἕλληνες πάντες, αὐτῶν δ᾽ Ἑλλήνων πλέον τοῦτο ἔχω μαρτυρεῖν Ἀθηναίοις. εἰ δὲ ἐκεῖνοι διασώζουσιν εἰκόνα τῆς παλαιᾶς ἐν τοῖς ἤθεσιν ἀρετῆς, εἰκὸς δήπουθεν τὸ αὐτὸ ὑπάρχειν καὶ Σύροις καὶ Ἀραβίοις καὶ Κελτοῖς καὶ Θρᾳξὶ καὶ Παίοσι καὶ τοῖς ἐν μέσῳ κειμένοις Θρᾳκῶν [D] καὶ Παιόνων ἐπ᾽ αὐταῖς Ἴστρου ταῖς ᾐόσι Μυσοῖς, ὅθεν δὴ καὶ τὸ γένος ἐστί μοι πᾶν ἄγροικον, αὐστηρόν, ἀδέξιον, ἀναφρόδιτον, ἐμμένον τοῖς κριθεῖσιν ἀμετακινήτως· ἃ δὴ πάντα ἐστὶ δείγματα δεινῆς ἀγροικίας.

(Now since this was the conduct of Antiochus, I have no right to be angry with his descendants when they emulate their founder or him who gave his name to the city. For just as in the case of plants it is natural that their qualities should be transmitted for a long time, or rather that, in general, the succeeding generation should resemble its ancestors; so too in the case of human beings it is natural that the morals of descendants should resemble those of their ancestors. I myself, for instance, have found that the Athenians are the most ambitious for honour and the most humane of all the Greeks. And indeed I have observed that these qualities exist in an admirable degree among all the Greeks, and I can say for them that more than all other nations they love the gods, and are hospitable to strangers; I mean all the Greeks generally, but among them the Athenians above all as I can bear witness. And if they still preserve in their characters the image of their ancient virtue, surely it is natural that the same thing should be true of the Syrians also, and the Arabs and Celts and Thracians and Paeonians, and those who dwell between the Thracians and Paeonians, I mean the Mysians on the very banks of the Danube, from whom my own family is derived, a stock wholly boorish, austere, awkward, without charm and abiding immovably by its decisions; all of which qualities are proofs of terrible boorishness.)

Αἰτοῦμαι τοίνυν ὑπὲρ ἐμαυτοῦ πρῶτον συγγνώμην, ἐν μέρει δὲ καὶ ὑμῖν νέμω τὰ πάτρια ζηλοῦσιν, οὐδ᾽ ἐν ὀνείδει προφέρομαι τὸ

(I therefore ask for forgiveness, in the first place for myself, and in my turn I grant it to you also since you emulate the manners of your forefathers, nor do I bring it against you as a reproach when I say that you are)

[349] Ψεῦσταί τ᾽ ὀρχησταί τε χοροιτυπίῃσιν ἄριστοι,

(“Liars and dancers, well skilled to dance in a chorus”;(724))

τοὐναντίον δὲ ἀντ᾽ ἐγκωμίων ὑμῖν προσεῖναί φημι πατρίων ζῆλον ἐπιτηδευμάτων. ἐπεὶ καὶ Ὅμηρος ἐπαινῶν τὸν Αὐτόλυκόν φησι περιεῖναι πάντων

(on the contrary it is in the place of a panegyric that I ascribe to you emulation of the practice of your forefathers. For Homer too is praising Autolycus when he says that he surpassed all men)

Κλεπτοσύνῃ θ᾽ ὅρκῳ τε.

(“in stealing and perjury.”(725))

καὶ ἐμαυτοῦ τὴν σκαιότητα καὶ τὴν ἀμαθίαν καὶ τὴν δυσκολίαν [B] καὶ τὸ μὴ ῥᾳδίως μαλάττεσθαι μηδὲ ἐπὶ τοῖς δεομένοις ἢ τοῖς ἐξαπατῶσι τὰ ἐμαυτοῦ ποιεῖσθαι μηδὲ ταῖς βοαῖς εἴκειν καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα στέργω ὀνείδη. πότερα μὲν οὖν ἐστι κουφότερα, θεοῖς ἴσως δῆλον, ἐπείπερ ἀνθρώπων οὐδεὶς οἷός τε ἡμῖν ἐστιν ὑπὲρ τῶν διαφορῶν βραβεῦσαι· πεισόμεθα γὰρ οὐδαμῶς αὐτῷ διὰ φιλαυτίαν, θαυμάζειν γὰρ εἰκὸς τὰ ἑαυτοῦ ἕκαστον, ἀτιμάζειν δὲ τὰ παρὰ τοῖς ἄλλοις. ὁ δὲ τῷ τὰ ἐναντία ζηλοῦντι νέμων συγγνώμην εἶναί μοι δοκεῖ πρᾳότατος.

(And as for my own awkwardness and ignorance and ill‐temper, and my inability to be influenced, or to mind my own business when people beg me to do so or try to deceive me and that I cannot yield to their clamour—even such reproaches I gladly accept. But whether your ways or mine are more supportable is perhaps clear to the gods, for among men there is no one capable of arbitrating in our disagreement. For such is our self‐love that we shall never believe him, since everyone of us naturally admires his own ways and despises those of other men. In fact he who grants indulgence to one whose aims are the opposite of his own is, in my opinion, the most considerate of men.)

[C] Ἐγὼ δὲ ἐννοήσας εὑρίσκω καὶ ἕτερα δεινὰ ἐμαυτὸν εἰργασμένον. πόλει γὰρ προσιὼν ἐλευθέρᾳ, τὸν αὐχμὸν τῶν τριχῶν οὐκ ἀνεχομένῃ, ὥσπερ οἱ κουρέων ἀποροῦντες ἄκαρτος καὶ βαθυγένειος εἰσέδραμον· ἐνόμισας ἂν Σμικρίνην ὁρᾶν ἢ Θρασυλέοντα, δύσκολον πρεσβύτην ἢ στρατιώτην ἀνόητον, ἐξὸν φανῆναι τῷ καλλωπισμῷ παῖδα ὡραῖον καὶ γενέσθαι μειράκιον, εἰ μὴ τὴν ἡλικίαν, τὸν τρόπον γε [D] καὶ τὴν ἁβρότητα τοῦ προσώπου. “Οὐκ οἶσθα ἀνθρώποις ὁμιλεῖν, οὐδ᾽ ἐπαινέτης εἶ τοῦ Θεόγνιδος, οὐδὲ μιμῇ τὸν ἀφομοιούμενον ταῖς πέτραις πολύπουν, ἀλλ᾽ ἡ λεγομένη Μυκόνιος ἀγροικία τε καὶ ἀμαθία καὶ ἀβελτηρία πρὸς πάντας ἐπιτηδεύεται παρὰ σοῦ. λέληθέ σε ὅτι(726) πολλοῦ δεῖ ταῦτα εἶναι Κελτοὶ καὶ Θρᾷκες καὶ Ἰλλυριοί; οὐχ ὁρᾷς, ὁπόσα μὲν ἐν τῇ πόλει ταύτῃ καπηλεῖα; [350] σὺ δὲ ἀπεχθάνῃ τοῖς καπήλοις οὐ ξυγχωρῶν ὁπόσου βούλονται πωλεῖν αὐτοὺς(727) τῷ δήμῳ τὰ ἐπιτήδεια καὶ τοῖς ἐπιδημοῦσιν. οἱ δὲ τοὺς κεκτημένους τὴν γῆν αἰτιῶνται. σὺ δὲ καὶ τούτους ἐχθροὺς ποιεῖ σαυτῷ τὰ δίκαια ποιεῖν ἀναγκάζων. οἱ δὲ ἐν τέλει τῆς πόλεως ἀμφοῖν μετέχοντες ταῖν ζημίαιν, ὥσπερ οἶιμαι πρότερον ἔχαριρον διχόθεν καρπούμενοι τὰς ὠφελείας, [B] καὶ ὡς κεκτημένοι καὶ ὡς καπηλεύοντες, τὰ νῦν εἰκότως λυποῦνται δι᾽ ἀμφοτέρων ἀφῃρημένοι τὰς ἐπικερδείας. ὁ δὲ τῶν Σύρων δῆμος οὐκ ἔχων μεθύειν οὐδὲ κορδακίζειν ἄχθεται. σὺ δὲ σῖτον ἄφθονον παρέχων οἴει τρέφειν αὐτοὺς ἱκανῶς. ἐκεῖνο δέ σου χαρίεν, ὅτι οὐδὲ ὅπως ἰχθὺς ἐν τῇ πόλει πετραῖος ἔσται σκοπεῖς· ἀλλὰ καὶ πρῴην μεμφομένου τινός, ὡς οὔτε ἰχθυδίων οὔτε ὀρνίθων πολλῶν εὑρισκομένων ἐν ἀγορᾷ, [C] τωθαστικὸν μάλα ἐγέλασας, ἄρτου καὶ οἴνου καὶ ἐλαίου τῇ σώφρονι πόλει δεῖν φάμενος, κρεῶν δ᾽ ἤδη τῇ τρυφώσῃ· τὸ γὰρ καὶ ἰχθύων καὶ ὀρνιθίων λόγον ποιεῖσθαι πέρα τρυφῆς εἶναι καὶ ἧς οὐδὲ τοῖς ἐν Ἰθάκῃ μνηστῆρσι μετῆν ἀσελγείας. ὅτῳ δὲ οὐκ ἐν ἡδονῇ κρέα ὕεια καὶ προβάτεια σιτεῖσθαι, τῶν ὀσπρίων ἁπτόμενος εὖ πράξει. ταῦτα ἐνόμισας Θρᾳξὶ νομοθετεῖν [D] τοῖς σεαυτοῦ πολίταις ἢ τοῖς ἀναισθήτοις Γαλάταις, οἵ σε ἐπαιδοτρίβησαν καθ᾽ ἡμῶν ‘πρίνινον, σφενδάμνινον,’ οὐκέτι μέντοι καὶ ‘Μαραθωνομάχον,’ ἀλλ᾽ Ἀχαρνέα μὲν ἐξ ἡμισείας, ἀηδῆ δ᾽ ἄνδρα παντάπασι καὶ ἄνθρωπον ἄχαριν. οὐ κρεῖττον ἦν ὀδωδέναι μύρων τὴν ἀγορὰν βαδίζοντός σου καὶ παῖδας ἡγεῖσθαι καλούς, εἰς οὓς ἀποβλέψουσιν οἱ πολῖται, καὶ χοροὺς γυναικῶν, ὁποῖοι παρ᾽ ἡμῖν ἵστανται καθ᾽ ἑκάστην ἡμέραν;”

(But now I come to ponder the matter I find that I have committed yet other terrible sins. For though I was coming to a free city which cannot tolerate unkempt hair, I entered it unshaven and with a long beard, like men who are at a loss for a barber. One would have thought it was some Smicrines(728) he saw, or some Thrasyleon, some ill‐tempered old man or crazy soldier, when by beautifying myself I might have appeared as a blooming boy and transformed myself into a youth, if not in years, at any rate in manners and effeminacy of features. “You do not know,” you answer, “how to mix with people, and cannot approve of the maxim of Theognis,(729) for you do not imitate the polypus which takes on the colours of the rocks. Nay rather you behave to all men with the proverbial Myconian(730) boorishness and ignorance and stupidity. Are you not aware that we here are far from being Celts or Thracians or Illyrians? Do you not see what a number of shops there are in this city? But you are hated by the shopkeepers because you do not allow them to sell provisions to the common people and those who are visiting the city at a price as high as they please. The shopkeepers blame the landowners for the high prices; but you make these men also your enemies, by compelling them to do what is just. Again, those who hold office in the city are subject to both penalties; I mean that just as, before you came, they obviously used to enjoy profits from both sources, both as landowners and as shopkeepers, so naturally they are now aggrieved on both accounts, since they have been robbed of their profits from both sources. Then the whole body of Syrian citizens are discontented because they cannot get drunk and dance the cordax.(731) You, however, think that you are feeding them well enough if you provide them with plenty of corn. Another charming thing about you is that you do not even take care that the city shall have shell‐fish. Nay more, when someone complained the other day that neither shell‐fish nor much poultry could be found in the market, you laughed very maliciously and said that a well‐conducted city needs bread, wine and olive oil, but meat only when it is growing luxurious.(732) For you said that even to speak of fish and poultry is the extreme of luxury and of profligacy such as was beyond the reach of even the suitors in Ithaca; and that anyone who did not enjoy eating pork and mutton(733) would fare very well if he took to vegetables.(734) You must have thought that you were laying down these rules for Thracians, your own fellow‐citizens, or for the uncultured people of Gaul who—so much the worse for us!—trained you to be ‘a heart of maple, a heart of oak,’ though not indeed ‘one who fought at Marathon’(735) also, but rather to be half of you an Acharnian and altogether an unpleasant person and an ungracious fellow. Would it not be better that the market place should be fragrant with myrrh when you walk there and that you should be followed by a troop of handsome boys at whom the citizens could stare, and by choruses of women like those that exhibit themselves every day in our city?”)

[351] Ἐμὲ δὲ ὑγρὸν βλέπειν ῥιπτοῦντα πανταχοῦ τὰ ὄμματα, ὅπως ὑμῖν καλός, οὔτι τὴν ψυχήν, ἀλλὰ τὸ πρόσωπον ὀφθείην, ὁ τρόπος οὐ συγχωρεῖ. ἔστι γάρ, ὡς ὑμεῖς κρίνετε, ψυχῆς ἀληθινὸν κάλλος ὑγρότης βίου. ἐμὲ δὲ ὁ παιδαγωγὸς ἐδίδασκεν εἰς γῆν βλέπειν ἐς διδασκάλου φοιτῶντα· θέατρον δ᾽ οὐκ εἶδον πρὶν μᾶλλον κομῆσαι τῆς κεφαλῆς τὸ γένειον, ἐν ἐκείνῳ δὲ τῆς ἡλικίας ἰδίᾳ μὲν καὶ κατ᾽ ἐμαυτὸν οὐδέποτε, τρίτον δὲ ἢ τέταρτον, εὖ ἴστε, [B] Πατρόκλῳ ἐπίηρα φέρων ἄρχων ἐπέταττεν οἰκεῖος ὢν ἐμοὶ καὶ ἀναγκαῖος· ἐτύγχανον δὲ ἰδιώτης ἔτι· σύγγνωτε οὖν ἐμοί· δίδωμι γὰρ ὃν ἀντ᾽ ἐμοῦ δικαιότερον μισήσετε τὸν φιλαπεχθήμονα παιδαγωγόν, ὅς με καὶ τότε ἐλύπει μίαν ὁδὸν ἰέναι διδάσκων καὶ νῦν αἴτιος ἐστί μοι τῆς πρὸς ὑμᾶς ἀπεχθείας, [C] ἐνεργασάμενος τῇ ψυχῇ καὶ ὥσπερ ἐντυπώσας ὅπερ ἐγὼ μὲν οὐκ ἐβουλόμην τότε, ὁ δὲ ὡς δή τι χαρίεν ποιῶν μάλα προθύμως ἐνετίθει, καλῶν οἶμαι σεμνότητα τὴν ἀγροικίαν καὶ σωφροσύνην τὴν ἀναισθησίαν, ἀνδρείαν δὲ τὸ μὴ εἴκειν ταῖς ἐπιθυμίαις μηδ᾽ εὐδαίμονα ταύτῃ γίνεσθαι. ἔφη δέ μοι πολλάκις, εὖ ἴστε, ναὶ μὰ Δία καὶ μούσας, ὁ παιδαγωγὸς ἔτι παιδαρίῳ κομιδῇ, Μή σε παραπειθέτω τὸ πλῆθος τῶν ἡλικιωτῶν ἐπὶ τὰ θέατρα [D] φερόμενον ὀρεχθῆναί ποτε ταυτησὶ τῆς θέας. ἱπποδρομίας ἐπιθυμεῖς; ἔστι παρ᾽ Ὁμήρῳ δεξιώτατα πεποιημένη· λαβὼν ἐπέξιθι τὸ βιβλίον. τοὺς παντομίμους ἀκούεις ὀρχηστάς; ἔα χαίρειν αὐτούς· ἀνδρικώτερον παρὰ τοῖς Φαίαξιν ὀρχεῖται τὰ μειράκια· σὺ δ᾽ ἔχεις κιθαρῳδὸν τὸν Φήμιον καὶ ᾠδὸν τὸν Δημόδοκον. ἔστι καὶ φυτὰ παρ᾽ αὐτῷ πολλὰ τερπνότερα ἀκοῦσαι τῶν ὁρωμένων·

(No, my temperament does not allow me to look wanton, casting my eyes in all directions in order that in your sight I may appear beautiful, not indeed in soul but in face. For, in your judgment, true beauty of soul consists in a wanton life. I, however, was taught by my tutor to look on the ground when I was on my way to school; and as for a theatre, I never saw one until I had more hair on my chin than on my head,(736) and even at that age it was never on my own account and by my own wish, but three or four times, you must know, the governor who was my kinsman and near relative, “doing a favour to Patroclus,” ordered me to attend; it was while I was still a private individual.(737) Therefore forgive me. For I hand over to you instead of myself one whom you will more justly detest, I mean that curmudgeon my tutor who even then used to harass me by teaching me to walk in one straight path(738) and now he is responsible for my quarrel with you. It was he who wrought in my soul and as it were carved therein what I did not then desire, though he was very zealous in implanting it, as though he were producing some charming characteristic; and boorishness he called dignity, lack of taste he called sobriety, and not yielding to one’s desires or achieving happiness by that means he called manliness. I assure you, by Zeus and the Muses, that while I was still a mere boy my tutor would often say to me: “Never let the crowd of your playmates who flock to the theatres lead you into the mistake of craving for such spectacles as these. Have you a passion for horse races? There is one in Homer,(739) very cleverly described. Take the book and study it. Do you hear them talking about dancers in pantomime? Leave them alone! Among the Phaeacians the youths dance in more manly fashion. And for citharode(740) you have Phemius; for singer Demodocus. Moreover there are in Homer many plants more delightful to hear of than those that we can see:)

Δήλῳ δή ποτε τοῖον Ἀπόλλωνος παρὰ βωμὸν
[352] Φοίνικος νέον ἔρνος ἀνερχόμενον ἐνόησα.

(‘Even so did I once see the young shoot of a date palm springing
up near the altar of Apollo on Delos.’(741))

καὶ ἡ δενδρήεσσα τῆς Καλυψοῦς νῆσος καὶ τὰ τῆς Κίρκης σπήλαια καὶ ὁ Ἀλκίνου κῆπος· εὖ ἴσθι, τούτων οὐδὲν ὄψει τερπνότερον.

(“And consider the wooded island of Calypso and the caves of Circe and the garden of Alcinous; be assured that you will never see anything more delightful than these.”)

Ἆρα ποθεῖτε καὶ τοὔνομα ὑμῖν φράσω τοῦ παιδαγωγοῦ, καὶ ὅστις ὢν γένος ταῦτα ἔλεγε; βάρβαρος νὴ θεοὺς καὶ θεάς, Σκύθης μὲν τὸ γένος, ὁμώνυμος δὲ τοῦ τὸν Ξέρξην ἀναπείσαντος ἐπὶ τὴν Ἑλλάδα στρατεῦσαι, καὶ τὸ πολυθρύλητον τοῦτο δὴ [B] πρὸ μηνῶν μὲν εἴκοσι προσκυνούμενον ὄνομα, νυνὶ δὲ προφερόμενον ἀντ᾽ ἀδικήματος καὶ ὀνείδους, εὐνοῦχος ἦν, ὑπὸ τὠμῷ τεθραμμένος πάππῳ, τὴν μητέρα τὴν ἐμὴν ὅπως ἀγάγοι διὰ τῶν Ὁμήρου καὶ Ἡσιόδου ποιημάτων. ἐπεὶ δ᾽ ἐκείνη πρῶτον ἐμὲ καὶ μόνον τεκοῦσα μησὶν ὕστερον ὀλίγοις ἐτελεύτησεν ὑπὸ τῆς ἀμήτορος παρθένου πολλῶν [C] συμφορῶν ἐκκλαπεῖσα κόρη καὶ νέα, μετ᾽ ἐνιαυτὸν ἕβδομον αὐτῷ παρεδόθην. οὗτος ἐξ ἐκείνου ταῦτα ἀνέπεισεν ἄγων ἐς διδασκάλου μίαν ὁδόν· ἄλλην δ᾽ οὔτ᾽ αὐτὸς εἰδέναι θέλων οὔτ᾽ ἐμοὶ βαδίζειν ξυγχωρῶν ἐποίησεν ἀπεχθάνεσθαί με πᾶσιν ὑμῖν. ἀλλ᾽, εἰ δοκεῖ, σπεισώμεθα πρὸς αὐτὸν ἐγώ τε καὶ ὑμεῖς τὴν ἀπέχθειαν λύσαντες. οὔτε γὰρ ἠπίστατο πρὸς ὑμᾶς ἀφιξόμενον οὔτ᾽, εἰ τὰ μάλιστα φοιτᾶν μέλλοιμι, [D] ὅτι καὶ ἄρχων προσεδόκα, καὶ τοσαύτην ἀρχήν, ὅσην ἔδωκαν οἱ θεοί, πολλὰ ὁμοῦ βιασάμενοι, πείσθητέ μοι, καὶ τὸν διδόντα καὶ τὸν δεχόμενον. ἐῴκει γὰρ ἡμῶν οὐδέτερος ἐθέλειν οὔτε ὁ διδοὺς τὴν τιμὴν ἢ χάριν ἢ ὅ,τι φίλον ὑμῖν αὐτὸ ὀνομάζειν δοῦναι, καὶ ὁ λαμβάνων, ὡς ἴσασιν οἱ θεοὶ πάντες, ἀληθῶς ἠρνεῖτο. καὶ δὴ τοῦτο μὲν ὅπῃ τοῖς θεοῖς φίλον ἔχει τε καὰ ἕξει. τυχὸν δὲ ὁ παιδαγωγὸς εἰ προύγνω τοῦτο, [353] πολλὴν ἂν ἐποιήσατο προμήθειαν, ὅπως ὅ,τι μάλιστα ὑμῖν φανείην κεχαρισμένος.

(And now do you want me to tell you also my tutor’s name and the nationality of the man who used to say these things? He was a barbarian, by the gods and goddesses; by birth he was a Scythian, and he had the same name(742) as the man who persuaded Xerxes to invade Greece. Moreover he was a eunuch, a word which, twenty months ago,(743) was constantly heard and revered, though it is now applied as an insult and a term of abuse. He had been brought up under the patronage of my grandfather, in order that he might instruct my mother(744) in the poems of Homer and Hesiod. And since she, after giving birth to me her first and only child, died a few months later, snatched away while she was still a young girl by the motherless maiden(745) from so many misfortunes that were to come, I was handed over to him after my seventh year. From that time he won me over to these views of his, and led me to school by one straight path; and since neither he himself desired to know any other nor allowed me to travel by any other path, it is he who has caused me to be hated by all of you. However, if you agree, let us make a truce with him, you and I, and make an end of our quarrel. For he neither knew that I should visit you nor did he anticipate that, even supposing I was likely to come here, it would be as a ruler, and that too over so great an empire as the gods bestowed on me; though they did not do so, believe me, without using great compulsion both towards him who offered and him who accepted it. For neither of us had the air of being willing; since he who offered that honour or favour or whatever you may please to call it, was unwilling to bestow it, while he who received it was sincere in steadily refusing it. This matter, however, is and shall be as the gods will. But perhaps if my tutor had foreseen this he would have exercised much forethought to the end that I might, as far as possible, seem agreeable in your eyes.)

Εἶτα οὐκ ἔξεστιν ἀποθέσθαι νῦν καὶ μεταμαθεῖν εἴ τι πρότερον ἡμῖν ἄγροικον ἦθος ἐνετράφη; Ἔθος, φασί, δευτέρη φύσις· φύσει μάχεσθαι δ᾽ ἔργον, ἐτῶν τριάκοντα μελέτην ἀφεῖναι παγχάλεπον ἄλλως τε καὶ μετὰ τοσαύτης ἐγγενομένην τῆς χαλεπότητος· ἐμοὶ δὲ ἤδη πλείω τούτων ἐστίν. Εἶεν· [B] ἀλλὰ τί παθὼν αὐτὸς ἐπιχειρεῖς ἀκροᾶσθαι περὶ τῶν συμβολαίων καὶ δικάζειν; οὐ γὰρ δὴ καὶ τοῦτό σε ὁ παιδαγωγὸς ἐδίδασκεν, ὃς οὐδ᾽ εἰ ἄρξεις ἠπίστατο. Δεινὸς δὲ ἀνέπεισε γέρων, ὃν καὶ ὑμειῖς ὡς ὄντα μάλιστα αἰτιώτατον τῶν ἐμῶν ἐπιτηδευμάτων ὀρθῶς ποιοῦντες ξυλλοιδορεῖτέ μοι, καὶ τοῦτον δ᾽, εὖ ἴστε, ὑπ᾽ ἄλλων ἐξηπατημένον. ὀνόματα ἥκει πρὸς ὑμᾶς πολλάκις κωμῳδούμενα, Πλάτων καὶ Σωκράτης καὶ Ἀριστοτέλης καὶ Θεόφραστος. [C] ἐκείνοις ὁ γέρων οὗτος πεισθεὶς ὑπ᾽ ἀφροσύνης, ἔπειτα ἐμὲ νέον εὑρών, ἐραστὴν λόγων, ἀνέπεισεν, ὡς, εἰ τὰ πάντα ἐκείνων ζηλωτὴς γενοίμην, ἀμείνων ἔσομαι τῶν μὲν ἄλλων ἀνθρώπων ἴσως οὐδενός· οὐ γὰρ εἶναί μοι πρὸς αὐτοὺς τὴν ἅμιλλαν· ἐμαυτοῦ δὲ πάντως. ἐγὼ δέ· οὐ γὰρ εἶχον ὅ,τι ποιῶ· πεισθεὶς οὐκέτι δύναμαι μεταθέσθαι, καὶ ταῦτα ἐθέλων πολλάκις, [D] ἀλλ᾽ ὀνειδίζω μὲν ἐμαυτῷ, διότι μὴ ποιῶ πᾶσιν ἄδειαν(746) ἁπάντων ἀδικημάτων· ὕπεισι δέ με ἐκ τῶν Πλάτωνος ὅσα ὁ Ἀθηναῖος διεξῆλθε ξένος, “Τίμιος μὲν δὴ καὶ ὁ μηδὲν ἀδικῶν, ὁ δὲ μηδ᾽ ἐπιτρέπων τοῖς ἀδικοῦσιν ἀδικεῖν πλέον ἢ διπλασίας τιμῆς ἄξιος ἐκείνου· ὁ μὲν γὰρ ἑνός, ὁ δὲ πολλῶν ἀντάξιος ἑτέρων, μηνύων τὴν τῶν ἄλλων τοῖς ἄρχουσιν ἀδικίαν. ὁ δὲ καὶ συγκολάζων εἰς δύναμιν τοῖς ἄρχουσιν, [354] ὁ μέγας ἀνὴρ ἐν πόλει καὶ τέλειος, οὗτος ἀναγορευέσθω νικηφόρος ἀρετῆς. τὸν αὐτὸν δὴ τοῦτον ἔπαινον καὶ περὶ σωφροσύνης χρὴ λέγειν καὶ περὶ φρονήσεως καὶ ὅσα ἄλλα ἀγαθά τις κέκτηται, δυνατὰ μὴ μόνον αὐτὸν ἔχειν, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἄλλοις μεταδιδόναι.”

(What then, you will ask, is it not possible even now for me to lay aside my character, and to repent of the boorish temper that was bred in me in earlier days? Habit, as the saying goes, is second nature. But to fight with nature is hard; and to shake off the training of thirty years is very difficult, especially when it was carried on with such painful effort, and I am already more than thirty years old. “Well and good,” you answer, “but what is the matter with you that you try to hear and decide cases about contracts? For surely your tutor did not teach you this also, since he did not even know whether you would govern.” Yes, it was that terrible old man who convinced me that I ought to do so; and you also do well to help me to abuse him, since he is of all men most responsible for my way of life; though he too, you must know, had in his turn been misled by others. Theirs are names that you have often met when they are ridiculed in Comedy—I mean Plato and Socrates, Aristotle and Theophrastus. This old man in his folly was first convinced by them, and then he got hold of me, since I was young and loved literature, and convinced me that if I would emulate those famous men in all things I should become better, not perhaps than other men—for it was not with them that I had to compete—but certainly better than my former self. Accordingly, since I had no choice in the matter, I obeyed him, and now I am no longer able to change my character, though indeed I often wish I could, and I blame myself for not granting to all men impunity for all wrong‐doing. But then the words of the Athenian stranger in Plato occur to my mind: “Though he who does no wrong himself is worthy of honour, he who does not allow the wicked to do wrong is worthy of more than twice as much honour. For whereas the former is responsible for one man only, the latter is responsible for many others besides himself, when he reports to the magistrates the wrong‐doing of the rest. And he who as far as he can helps the magistrates to punish wrong‐ doers, himself being the great and powerful man in the city, let him I say be proclaimed as winner of the prize for virtue. And we ought to utter the same eulogy with regard to temperance also, and wisdom and all the other good qualities that such a man possesses, and which are such that he is able not only to have them himself but also to impart them to other men.”(747))

Ταῦτα ἐδίδασκέ με νομίζων ἰδιώτην ἔσεσθαι· [B] καὶ γὰρ οὐδὲ προύγνω ταύτην ἐκ Διός μοι τὴν τύχην ἐσομένην, εἰς ἣν νῦν ὁ θεὸς φέρων κατέστησεν. ἐγὼ δὲ αἰσχυνόμενος ἄρχων ἰδιώτου φαυλότερος εἶναι λέληθα ἐμαυτόν, οὐδὲν δέον, ὑμῖν τῆς ἀγροικίας μεταδιδοὺς τῆς ἐμαυτοῦ. καί με ἕτερος τῶν Πλάτωνος νόμων ὑπομνησθέντα ἐμαυτοῦ πεποίηκεν ἀπεχθάνεσθαι πρὸς ὑμᾶς, ὅς φησι δεῖν αἰδῶ καὶ σωφροσύνην ἀσκεῖν τοὺς ἄρχοντας καὶ τοὺς πρεσβυτέρους, [C] ἵνα τὰ πλήθη πρὸς αὐτοὺς ἀποβλέποντα κοσμῆται. μόνῳ οὖν μοι, μᾶλλον δὲ ξὺν ὀλίγοις ἐπιτηδεύοντι νῦν τοῦτο πρὸς θάτερα περιέστη καὶ γέγονεν οὐκ ἀπεικότως ἐν ὀνείδει. ἑπτὰ γάρ ἐσμεν οἵδε παρ᾽ ὑμῖν ξένοι νεήλυδες, εἷς δὲ καὶ πολίτης ὑμέτερος, Ἑρμῇ φίλος καὶ ἐμοί, λόγων ἀγαθὸς δημιουργός, οἷς οὐδέν ἐστι πρός τινα συμβόλαιον, οὐδ᾽ ἄλλην ὁδὸν βαδίζομεν ἦ πρὸς τὰ τῶν θεῶν ἱερά, [D] καὶ ὀλιγάκις, οὐ πάντες, εἰς τὰ θέατρα, πεποιημένοι τὸ δυσκλεέστατον τῶν ἔργων καὶ ἐπονειδιστότατον(748) τοῦ βίου τέλος· ἐπιτρέψουσί μοι πάντως οἱ τῶν Ἑλλήνων σοφοὶ φάναι τι τῶν παρ᾽ ὑμῖν ἐπιπολαζόντων· οὐ γὰρ ἔχω πῶς ἂν αὐτὸ μᾶλλον ἐνδειξαίμην· ἐπὶ τῆς μεσιτείας αὑτοὺς ἐτάξαμεν, οὕτω περὶ πολλοῦ ποιούμεθα τὸ προσκρούειν ὑμῖν καὶ ἀπεχθάνεσθαι, δέον ἀρέσκειν καὶ θωπεύειν. ὁ δεῖνα ἐβιάσατο τὸν δεῖνα. Τί τοῦτο, ὦ μῶρε, πρὸς σέ; κοινωνεῖν ἐξὸν μετ᾽ εὐνοίας τῶν ἀδικημάτων, ἀφεὶς τὸ κέρδος ἔχθραν ἐπαναιρῇ, [355] καὶ τοῦτο ποιῶν ὀρθῶς οἴει ποιεῖν καὶ φρονεῖν ὑπὲρ τῶν σεαυτοῦ. λογίσασθαι ἐχρῆν, ὅτι τῶν μὲν ἀδικουμένων οὐδεὶς αἰτιᾶται τοὺς ἄρχοντας, ἀλλὰ τὸν ἀδικήσαντα, ὁ δ᾽ ἀδικῶν εἶτα εἰργόμενος, ἀφεὶς μέμφεσθαι τὸν ἀδικούμενον, εἰς τοὺς ἄρχοντας τρέπει τὸ ἄχθος.

(These things he taught me when he thought that I should be a private citizen. For he certainly did not foresee that there would be assigned to me by Zeus this lot in life to which the god has now brought me and has set me therein. But I, because I was ashamed to be less virtuous as a ruler than I had been as a private citizen, have unconsciously given you the benefit of my own boorishness, though there was no necessity. And another of Plato’s laws has made me take thought for myself and so become hateful in your eyes: I mean the law which says that those who govern, and also the older men, ought to train themselves in respect for others and in self‐control, in order that the masses may look to them and so order their own lives aright. Now since I alone, or rather in company with a few others, am now pursuing this course, it has had a very different result and has naturally become a reproach against me. For we here are only seven persons, strangers and newcomers in your city,—though indeed one of our number is a fellow‐citizen of yours, a man dear to Hermes and to me, an excellent craftsman of discourses.(749) And we have business dealings with no man, nor do we go by any road that does not lead to the temples of the gods; and seldom, and then not all of us, do we go to the theatres, since we have adopted the most inglorious line of conduct and the most unpopular aim and end of life. The wise men of Greece will surely allow me to repeat some of the sayings current among you; for I have no better way of illustrating what I mean. We have stationed ourselves in the middle of the road, so highly do we prize the opportunity to collide with you and to be disliked, when we ought rather to try to please and flatter you. “So‐and‐ so has oppressed So‐and‐so.” “Fool! What business is it of yours? When it was in your power to win his good‐will by becoming the partner in his wrong‐doing, you first let the profit go, and incur hatred besides; and when you do this you think that you are doing right and are wise about your own affairs. You ought to have taken into account that, when men are wronged, not one of them ever blames the magistrates but only the man who has wronged him; but the man who seeks to do wrong and is prevented from it, far from blaming his proposed victim, turns his grievance against the magistrates.)

Ἐξὸν οὖν ὑπὸ τῆς εὐλογιστίας ταύτης ἀπέχεσθαι μὲν τοῦ τὰ δίκαια ποιεῖν ἀναγκάζειν, ἐπιτρέψαι δ᾽ ἑκάστῳ πράττειν ὅ, τι [B] ἂν ἐθέλῃ καὶ δυνατὸς ᾖ· τὸ γὰρ τῆς πόλεως ἦθος οἶμαι τοιοῦτόν ἐστιν, ἐλεύθερον λίαν· σὺ δὲ οὐ ξυνεὶς ἄρχεσθαι αὐτοὺς μετὰ φρονήσεως ἀξιοῖς; οὐδ᾽ ἀπέβλεψας ὅση καὶ μέχρι τῶν ὄνων ἐστὶν ἐλευθερία παρ᾽ αὐτοῖς καὶ τῶν καμήλων; ἄγουσί τοι καὶ ταύτας οἱ μισθωτοὶ διὰ τῶν στοῶν ὥσπερ τὰς νύμφας· οἱ γὰρ ὑπαίθριοι στενωποὶ καὶ αἱ πλατεῖαι τῶν ὁδῶν οὐκ ἐπὶ τούτῳ δήπου πεποίηνται, τῷ χρῆσθαι αὐταῖς τοὺς κανθηλίους, ἀλλ᾽ ἐκεῖναι μὲν αὐτὸ δὴ τοῦτο κόσμου τινὸς ἕνεκα πρόκεινται καὶ πολυτελείας, [C] χρῆσθαι δὲ ὑπ᾽ ἐλευθερίας οἱ ὄνοι βούλονται ταῖς στοαῖς, εἴργει δ᾽ αὐτοὺς οὐδεὶς οὐδενός, ἵνα μὴ τὴν ἐλευθερίαν ἀφέληται· οὕτως ἡ πόλις ἐστὶν ἐλευθέρα. σὺ δὲ ἀξιοῖς τοὺς ἐν αὐτῇ νεανίσκους ἄγειν ἡσυχίαν καὶ μάλιστα μὲν φρονεῖν ὅ, τι σοι φίλον, εἰ δὲ μή, φθέγγεσθαι ὅσων ἂν ἡδέως ἀκούσῃς.(750) οἱ δὲ ὑπ᾽ ἐλευθερίας εἰώθασι κωμάζειν, ἀεὶ μὲν ἐπιεικῶς αὐτὸ ποιοῦντες, ἐν δὲ ταῖς ἑορταῖς πλέον.

(“Then when it was in your power by the aid of this careful reasoning to refrain from compelling us to do what is just; when you might have allowed every man to do whatever he pleases and has the power to do,—for the temper of the city is surely like that, excessively independent—do you then, I say, fail to understand this and assert that the citizens ought to be wisely governed? Have you not even observed what great independence exists among the citizens, even down to the very asses and camels? The men who hire them out lead even these animals through the porticoes as though they were brides. For the unroofed alleys and the broad highways were certainly not made for the use of pack‐asses, but they are provided merely for show and as an extravagance; but in their independence the asses prefer to use the porticoes, and no one keeps them out of any one of these, for fear he should be robbing them of their independence; so independent is our city! And yet you think that even the charming youths in the city ought to keep quiet and, if possible, think whatever you like, but at any rate utter only what is agreeable for you to hear! But it is their independence that makes them hold revels; and this they always do handsomely, but during the festivals they revel more than usual.”)

Ἔδωκάν ποτε τῶν τοιούτων σκωμμάτων Ῥωμαίοις Ταραντῖνοι δίκας, [D] ὅτι μεθύοντες ἐν τοῖς Διονυσίοις ὕβρισαν αὐτῶν τὴν πρεσβείαν. ὑμεῖς δέ ἐστε τῶν Ταραντίνων τὰ πάντα εὐδαιμονέστεροι, ἀντὶ μὲν ὀλίγων ἡμερῶν ὅλον εὐπαθοῦντες ἐνιαυτόν, ἀντὶ δὲ τῶν ξένων πρέσβεων εἰς αὐτοὺς ἐξυβρίζοντες τοὺς ἄρχοντας καὶ τούτων εἰς τὰς ἐπὶ τοῦ γενείου τρίχας καὶ τὰ ἐν τοῖς νομίσμασι χαράγματα. [356] εὖ γε, ὦ πολῖται σώφρονες, οἵ τε παίζοντες τὰ τοιαῦτα καὶ οἱ τῶν παιζόντων ἀποδεχόμενοι καὶ ἀπολαύοντες. δῆλον γάρ, ὅτι τοῖς μὲν ἡδονὴν παρέχει τὸ λέγειν, τοὺς δὲ τὸ ἀκροᾶσθαι τῶν τοιούτων σκωμμάτων εὐφραίνει. ταύτης ὑμῖν ἐγὼ τῆς ὁμονοίας συνήδομαι, καὶ εὖ γε ποιεῖτε μία δὴ πόλις ὄντες τὰ τοιαῦτα, ὡς ἐκεῖνό γε οὐδαμοῦ σπουδαῖον οὐδὲ ζηλωτὸν εἴργειν [B] καὶ κολάζειν τῶν νέων τὸ ἀκόλαστον. παραιρεῖσθαι γάρ ἐστι καὶ ἀποθραύειν τῆς ἐλευθερίας τὸ κεφάλαιον, εἴ τις ἀφέλοιτο τοῦ λέγειν καὶ πράττειν ὅ,τι βούλονται τοὺς ἀνθρώπους. ὀρθῶς οὖν ὑμεῖς τοῦτο εἰδότες, ὅτι δεῖ τὰ πάντα ἐλευθέρους εἶναι, πρῶτον ἐπετρέψατε ταῖς γυναιξὶν ἄρχειν αὑτῶν, ἵνα ὑμῖν ὦσι λίαν ἐλεύθεραι καὶ ἀκόλαστοι, εἶτα ἐκείναις ξυνεχωρήσατε ἀνάγειν τὰ παιδία, [C] μή ποτε ὑμῖν ἀρχῆς πειρώμενα τραχυτέρας ἔπειτα ἀποφανθῇ δοῦλα, καὶ γενόμενα μειράκια πρῶτον αἰδεῖσθαι διδαχθῇ τοὺς πρεσβυτέρους, ὑπὸ δὲ τῆς οὕτω κακῆς συνηθείας εὐλαβέστερα γένηται πρὸς τοὺς ἄρχοντασ, καὶ τέλος οὐκ εἰς ἄνδρας, ἀλλ᾽ εἰς ἀνδράποδα τελέσαντες καὶ γενόμενοι σώφρονες καὶ ἐπιεικεῖς καὶ κόσμιοι λάθωσι διαφθαρέντες παντάπασι. τί οὖν αἱ γυναῖκες; ἐπὶ τὰ σφέτερα σεβάσματα ἄγουσιν αὐτὰ δι᾽ ἡδονῆς, ὃ δη μακαριώτατον εἶναι [D] φαίνεται καὶ πολυτίμητον οὐκ ἀνθρώποις μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ θηρίοις. ἔνθεν οἶμαι συμβαίνει μάλα ὑμῖν εὐδαίμοσιν εἶναι πᾶσαν ἀρνουμένοις δουλείαν, ἀπὸ τῆς εἰς τοὺς θεοὺς ἀρξαμένοις(751) πρῶτον, εἶτα τοὺς νόμους καὶ τρίτον τοὺς νομοφύλακας ἡμᾶς. ἄτοποί τε ἂν εἴημεν ἡμεῖς, εἰ τῶν θεῶν περιορώντων οὕτως ἐλευθέραν τὴν πόλιν καὶ οὐκ ἐπεξιόντων ἀγανακτοίημεν καὶ χαλεπαίνοιμεν. [357] εὖ γὰρ ἴστε ὅτι ταύτης ἡμῖν ἐκοινώνησαν οἱ θεοὶ τῆς ἀτιμίας παρὰ τῇ πόλει.

(Once upon a time the citizens of Tarentum paid to the Romans the penalty for this sort of jesting, seeing that, when drunk at the festival of Dionysus, they insulted the Roman ambassadors.(752) But you are in all respects more fortunate than the citizens of Tarentum, for you give yourselves up to pleasure throughout the whole year, instead of for a few days; and instead of foreign ambassadors you insult your own Sovereign, yes even the very hairs on his chin and the devices engraved on his coins.(753) Well done, O wise citizens, both ye who make such jests and ye who welcome and find profit in the jesters! For it is evident that uttering them gives pleasure to the former, while the latter rejoice to hear jests of this sort. I share your pleasure in this unanimity, and you do well to be a city of one mind in such matters, since it is not at all dignified or an enviable task to restrain and chastise the licentiousness of the young. For if one were to rob human beings of the power to do and say what they please, that would be to take away and curtail the first principle of independence. Therefore, since you knew that men ought to be independent in all respects, you acted quite rightly, in the first place when you permitted the women to govern themselves, so that you might profit by their being independent and licentious to excess; secondly, when you entrusted to them the bringing up of the children, for fear that if they had to experience any harsher authority they might later turn out to be slaves; and as they grew up to be boys might be taught first of all to respect their elders, and then under the influence of this bad habit might show too much reverence for the magistrates, and finally might have to be classed not as men but as slaves; and becoming temperate and well‐behaved and orderly might be, before they knew it, altogether corrupted. Then what effect have the women on the children? They induce them to reverence the same things as they do by means of pleasure, which is, it seems, the most blessed thing and the most highly honoured, not only by men but by beasts also. It is for this reason, I think, that you are so very happy, because you refuse every form of slavery; first you begin by refusing slavery to the gods, secondly to the laws, and thirdly to me who am the guardian of the laws. And I should indeed be eccentric if, when the gods suffer the city to be so independent and do not chastise her, I should be resentful and angry. For be assured that the gods have shared with me in the disrespect that has been shown to me in your city.)

Τὸ Χῖ, φασίν, οὐδὲν ἠδίκησε τὴν πόλιν οὐδὲ τὸ Κάππα. τί μέν ἐστι τοῦτο τῆς ὑμετέρας σοφίας τὸ αἴνιγμα ξυνεῖναι χαλεπόν, τυχόντες δ᾽ ἡμεῖς ἐξηγητῶν ἀπὸ τῆς ὑμετέρας πόλεως ἐδιδάχθημεν ἀρχὰς ὀνομάτων εἶναι τὰ γράμματα, δηλοῦν δ᾽ ἐθέλειν τὸ μὲν Χριστόν, τὸ δὲ Κωνστάντιον. ἀνέχεσθε οὖν [B] μου λέγοντος μετὰ παρρησίας. ἓν μόνον ὑμᾶς ὁ Κωνστάντιος ἠδίκησεν, ὅτι με καίσαρα ποιήσας οὐκ ἀπέκτεινεν· ὡς τά γε ἄλλα ὑμῖν μόνοις ἐκ πάντων Ῥωμαίων πολλῶν δοῖεν οἱ θεοὶ Κωνσταντίων πειραθῆναι, μᾶλλον δὲ τῶν ἐκείνου φίλων τῆς πλεονεξίας. ἐμοὶ γὰρ ὁ ἀνὴρ καὶ ἀνεψιὸς ἐγένετο καὶ φίλος. ἐπεὶ δὲ πρὸ τῆς φιλίας εἵλετο τὴν ἔχθραν, εἶτα ἡμῖν οἱ θεοὶ τὸν πρὸς ἀλλήλους ἀγῶνα λίαν ἐβράβευσαν φιλανθρώπως, [C] ἐγενόμην αὐτῷ πιστότερος φίλος ἢ προσεδόκησεν ἕξειν με πρῖν ἐχθρὸν γενέσθαι. τί οὖν οἴεσθέ με τοῖς ἐκείνου λυπεῖν ἐγκωμίοις, ὃς ἄχθομαι τοῖς λοιδορουμένοις αὐτῷ; Χριστὸν δὲ ἀγαπῶντες ἔχετε πολιοῦχον ἀντὶ τοῦ Διὸς καὶ τοῦ Δαφναίου καὶ τῆς Καλλιίπης, ἣ τὸ σόφισμα ὑμῶν ἀπεγύμνωσεν. Ἐμισηνοὶ Χριστὸν ἐπόθουν οἱ πῦρ ἐμβαλόντες τοῖς τάφοις τῶν Γαλιλαίων; ἐλύπησα δ᾽ ἐγὼ τίνας Ἐμισηνῶν πώποτε; [D] ὑμῶν μέντοι πολλοὺς καὶ ὀλίγου δέω φάναι πάντας, τὴν βουλήν, τοὺς εὐπόρους, τὸν δῆμον. ὁ μὲν γὰρ δῆμος ἄχθεταί μοι τῷ πλείστῳ μέρει, μᾶλλον δ᾽ ἅπας ἀθεότητα προελόμενος, ὅτι τοῖς πατρίοις ὁρᾷ τῆς ἁγιστείας θεσμοῖς προσκείμενον, οἱ δὲ δυνατοὶ κωλυόμενοι πολλοῦ πάντα πωλεῖν ἀργυρίου, πάντες δὲ ὑπὲρ τῶν ὀρχηστῶν καὶ τῶν θεάτρων, οὐχ ὅτι τοὺς ἄλλους ἀποστερῶ τούτων, [358] ἀλλ᾽ ὅτι μέλει μοι τῶν τοιούτων ἧττον ἢ τῶν ἐν τοῖς τέλμασι βατράχων. εἶτα οὐκ εἰκότως ἐμαυτοῦ κατηγορῶ τοσαύτας ἀπεχθείας λαβὰς παρασχόντος;

(“The _Chi_,” say the citizens, “never harmed the city in any way, nor did the _Kappa_.” Now the meaning of this riddle which your wisdom has invented is hard to understand, but I obtained interpreters from your city and I was informed that these are the first letters of names, and that the former is intended to represent Christ, the latter Constantius. Bear with me then, if I speak frankly. In one thing Constantius did harm you, in that when he had appointed me as Caesar he did not put me to death. Now for the rest may the gods grant to you alone out of all the many citizens of Rome to have experience of the avarice of many a Constantius, or I should say rather, of the avarice of his friends. For the man was my cousin and dear to me; but after he had chosen enmity with me instead of friendship, and then the gods with the utmost benevolence arbitrated our contention with one another, I proved myself a more loyal friend to him than he had expected to find me before I became his enemy. Then why do you think that you are annoying me by your praises of him, when I am really angry with those who slander him? But as for Christ you love him, you say, and adopt him as the guardian of your city instead of Zeus and the god of Daphne and Calliope(754) who revealed your clever invention? Did those citizens of Emesa long for Christ who set fire to the tombs of the Galilaeans?(755) But what citizens of Emesa have I ever annoyed? I have however annoyed many of you, I may almost say all, the Senate, the wealthy citizens, the common people. The latter indeed, since they have chosen atheism, hate me for the most part, or rather all of them hate me because they see that I adhere to the ordinances of the sacred rites which our forefathers observed; the powerful citizens hate me because they are prevented from selling everything at a high price; but all of you hate me on account of the dancers and the theatres. Not because I deprive others of these pleasures, but because I care less for things of that sort than for frogs croaking in a pond.(756) Then is it not natural for me to accuse myself, when I have furnished so many handles for your hatred?)

Ἀλλ᾽ ὁ Ῥωμαῖος Κάτων, ὅπως μὲν ἔχων πώγωνος οὐκ οἶδα, παρ᾽ ὁντινοῦν δὲ τῶν ἐπὶ σωφροσύνῃ καὶ μεγαλοψυχίᾳ καὶ τὸ μέγιστον ἀνδρείᾳ μέγα φρονούντων ἄξιος ἐπαινεῖσθαι, προσιὼν τῇδε τῇ πολυανθρώπῳ καὶ τρυφερᾷ καὶ πλουσίᾳ πόλει [B] τοὺς ἐφήβους ἰδὼν ἐν τῷ προαστείῳ μετὰ τῶν ἀρχόντων ἐσταλμένους ὡς ἐπί τινα δορυφορίαν ἐνόμισεν αὑτοῦ χάριν ὑμῶν τοὺς προγόνους τὴν παρασκευὴν πᾶσαν πεποιῆσθαι· καὶ θᾶσσον ἀποβὰς τοῦ ἵππου προῆγεν ἅμα καὶ πρὸς τοὺς προλαβόντας τῶν φίλων δυσχεραίνων ὡς μηνυτὰς γενομένους αὐτοῖς, ὅτι Κάτων προσάγει, καὶ ἀναπείσαντας ἐκδραμεῖν. ὄντος δ᾽ ἐν τοιούτοις αὐτοῦ καὶ διαποροῦντος ἠρέμα καὶ ἐρυθριῶντος, ὁ γυμνασίαρχος προσδραμών, Ὦ ξένε, ἔφη, [C] ποῦ Δημήτριος; ἦν δ᾽ οὗτος ἀπελεύθερος Πομπηίου, κεκτημένος οὐσίαν πολλὴν πάνυ· μέτρον δ᾽ αὐτῆς εἰ ποθεῖτε μαθεῖν· οἶμαι γὰρ ὑμᾶς ἐκ πάντων τῶν λεγομένων πρὸς ταύτην μάλιστα ὡρμῆσθαι τὴν ἀκοήν· ἐγὼ τὸν εἰπόντα φράσω. Δαμοφίλῳ τῷ Βιθυνῷ πεποίηται συγγράμματα τοιαῦτα, ἐν οἷς δρεπόμενος ἐκ βίβλων πολλῶν(757) εἰργάσατο [D] λόγους ἡδίστους νέῳ φιληκόῳ καὶ πρεσβυτέρῳ· φιλεῖ γὰρ τὸ γῆρας ἐπανάγειν αὖθις εἰς τὴν τῶν νέων φιληκοΐαν τοὺς ἀφηλικεστέρους· ὅθεν οἶμαι συμβαίνει νέους καὶ πρεσβύτας ἐξ ἴσης εἶναι φιλομύθους· εἶεν. ὁ δὲ δὴ Κάτων ὅπως ἀπήντησε τῷ γυμνασιάρχῳ βούλεσθε φράσω; μή με λοιδορεῖν ὑπολάβητε τὴν πόλιν· οὐκ ἔστιν ὁ λόγος ἐμός. εἴ τις ἀφῖκται [359] περιφερομένη καὶ εἰς ὑμᾶς ἀκοὴ Χαιρωνέως ἀνδρὸς ἐκ τοῦ φαύλου γένους, ὁ δὴ λέγεται παρὰ τῶν ἀλαζόνων φιλόσοφον· οὗ δὴ καὶ αὐτὸς οὐκ ἐφικόμην μέν, ηὐξάμην δὲ ὑπὸ ἀμαθίας κοινωνῆσαι καὶ μετασχεῖν. ταῦτα οὖν ἐκεῖνος ἔφρασεν, ὡς ὁ Κάτων ἀπεκρίνατο μὲν οὐδέν, βοήσας δὲ μόνον οἷά τις ἔμπληκτος καὶ ἀνόητος ἄνθρωπος, Ὢ τῆς κακοδαίμονος πόλεως, ἀπιὼν ᾤχετο.

(Cato the Roman,(758) however,—how he wore his beard I do not know,(759) but he deserves to be praised in comparison with anyone of those who pride themselves on their temperance and nobility of soul and on their courage above all,—he, I say, once visited this populous and luxurious and wealthy city; and when he saw the youths in the suburb drawn up in full array, and with them the magistrates, as though for some military display, he thought your ancestors had made all those preparations in his honour. So he quickly dismounted from his horse and came forward, though at the same time he was vexed with those of his friends who had preceded him for having informed the citizens that Cato was approaching, and so induced them to hasten forth. And while he was in this position, and was slightly embarrassed and blushing, the master of the gymnasium ran to meet him and called out “Stranger, where is Demetrius?” Now this Demetrius was a freedman of Pompey, who had acquired a very large fortune; and if you want to know the amount of it,—for I suppose that in all that I am now telling you are most anxious to hear this,—I will tell you who has related the story. Damophilus of Bithynia has written compositions of this sort, and in them, by culling ancedotes from many books, he has produced tales that give the greatest delight to anyone who loves to listen to gossip, whether he be young or old. For old age usually revives in the elderly that love of gossip which is natural to the young; and this is, I think, the reason why both the old and the young are equally fond of stories. Well then, to return to Cato. Do you want me to tell you how he greeted the master of the gymnasium? Do not imagine that I am slandering your city; for the story is not my own.(760) If any rumour has come round, even to your ears, of the man of Chaeronea,(761) who belongs to that worthless class of men who are called by impostors philosophers,—I myself never attained to that class though in my ignorance I claimed to be a member of it and to have part in it,—well he, as I was saying, related that Cato answered not a word, but only cried aloud like a man stricken with madness and out of his senses, “Alas for this ill‐fated city!” and took himself off.)