Chapter VI (3)

5. Public necessities or service may with some be so great as to dispense with all secret duty both of prayer and contemplation (except short mental ejaculations) for some days together. So in wars it oft falls out that necessity forbiddeth all set or solemn holy service for many days together (even on the Lord's day). So a physician may sometimes be tied to so close attendance on his patients, as will not allow him time for a set prayer. So sometimes a preacher may be so taken up in preaching, and exhorting, and resolving people's weighty doubts, that they shall scarce have time for secret duties, for some days together (though such happy impediments are rare). In these cases to do the lesser is a sin, when the greater is neglected.

6. Servants, who are not masters of their time, must be faithful in employing it to their masters' service, and take none for holy duty from that part which they should work in; but rather from their rest so far as they are able; intermixing meditations with their labours when they can: but redeeming such time as is allowed them, the more diligently, because their opportunities are so rare and short.

7. The Lord's day, (excepting works of necessity,) and such vacancies as hinder not other work, (as when they travel on the way, or work, or wake in the night, &c.) are every man's own time, which he is not to alienate to another's service, but to reserve and use for the service of God, and for his soul, in holy duties.

8. Some persons cannot bear much contemplation, especially melancholy and weak-headed people; and such must serve God so much the more in other duties which they are able for; and must not tire out and distract themselves, with striving to do that which they are not able to undergo. But others feel no inconvenience by it at all, as I can speak by my own experience: my weakness and decay of spirits inclining me most to a dulness of mind, I find that the most exciting serious studies and contemplations, in the greatest solitude, are so far from hurting me by any abatement of health, or hilarity, or serenity of mind, that they seem rather a help to all. Those that can thus bear long solitude and contemplation, ought to be the more exercised in it, except when greater duties must take place. But to melancholy persons it is to be avoided as a hurt.

9. To the same persons, sometimes their own necessities require contemplation most, and sometimes action; and so that which is at one time a duty, may at another time be none.

10. A mere sinful backwardness is not to be indulged. A diseased disability (such as comes from melancholy, weak-headedness, or decay of memory) must be endured, and not too much accused; when Christ excused worse in his disciples, saying, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." But a sinful backwardness in cases of absolute necessity, is not at all to be endured, but striven against with all your power, whatever it cost you: as to bring yourselves to so much serious consideration, as is necessary to your repentance and unfeigned faith, and godly conversation, this must be done whatever follow; though the devil persuade you that it will make you melancholy or mad; for without it, you are far worse than mad.

11. The most desirable life, to those that have their choice, is that which joineth together contemplation and action; so as there shall be convenient leisure for the most high and serious contemplation, and this improved to fit us for the most great and profitable action. And such is the life of a faithful minister of Christ: and therefore no sort of men on earth are more obliged to thankfulness than they.

12. Servants, and poor men, and diseased men, and others, that are called off from much contemplation, and employed in a life of obedient action, yea, or suffering, by the providence of God, and not by their own sinful choice, must understand, that their labour and patience is the way of their acceptable attendance upon God, in the expense of most part of their time. And though it is madness in those that hope God will accept of their labours, instead of true faith and repentance, and a godly life; (for these must go together, and hinder not each other;) yet, instead of such further contemplations as are not necessary to the being of a godly life, a true christian may believe that his obedient labours and sufferings shall be accepted. If you set one servant to cast up an account, and another to sweep your chimney or channels, you will not accept the former, and reject the latter, for the difference of their works; but you will rather think that he hath most merited your acceptance, who yielded without grudging to the basest service. And doubtless it is an aggravation of acceptable obedience, when we readily and willingly serve God in the lowest, meanest work. He is too fine to serve him, who saith, I will serve thee in the magistracy or ministry, but not at plough or cart, or any such drudgery.[311] And if thou be but in God's way, he can make thy very obedience a state of greater holiness and safety, than if thou hadst spent all that time in the study of holy things, as you see many ungodly ministers do all their lifetime, and are never the better for it. It is not the quality of the work, but God's blessing, that makes it do you good. Nor is he most beloved of God, who hath rolled over the greatest number of good thoughts in his mind, or of good words in his mouth, no, nor he that hath stirred up the strongest passions hereabouts; but he that loveth God and heaven best, and hateth sin most, and whose will is most confirmed for holiness of life. He that goeth about his labour in obedience to God, may have as much comfort as another that is meditating or praying. But neither labour nor prayer is matter of comfort to an ungodly, carnal heart.

Yea, if decay of memory or natural ability take you off both action and contemplation, you may have as much acceptance, and solid comfort, in a patient bearing of the cross, and an obedient, cheerful submission to the holy will of God.

_Tit._ 5. _Directions to the Melancholy about their
Thoughts._

It is so easy and ordinary a thing for some weak-headed persons, to cast themselves into melancholy, by over-straining either their thoughts or their affections, and the case of such is so exceeding lamentable, that I think it requisite to give such some particular directions by themselves.[312] And the rather because I see some persons that are unacquainted with the nature of this and other diseases, exceedingly abuse the name of God, and bring the profession of religion into scorn, by imputing all the effects and speeches of such melancholy persons to some great and notable operations of the Spirit of God, and thence draw observations of the methods and workings of God upon the soul, and of the nature of the legal workings of the spirit of bondage. (As some other such have divulged the prophecies, the possessions and dispossessing of hysterical women, as I have read, especially in the writings of the friars.) I do not call those melancholy, who are rationally sorrowful for sin, and sensible of their misery, and solicitous about their recovery and salvation, though it be with as great seriousness as the faculties can bear; as long as they have sound reason, and the imagination, fantasy, or thinking faculty is not crazed or diseased: but by melancholy I mean this diseased craziness, hurt, or error of the imagination, and consequently of the understanding, which is known by these following signs (which yet are not all in every melancholy persons).[313]

1. They are commonly exceeding fearful, causelessly or beyond what there is cause for: every thing which they hear or see is ready to increase their fears, especially if fear was the first cause, as ordinarily it is. 2. Their fantasy most erreth in aggravating their sin, or dangers, or unhappiness: every ordinary infirmity they are ready to speak of with amazement, as a heinous sin; and every possible danger they take for probable, and every probable one for certain; and every little danger for a great one; and every calamity for an utter undoing. 3. They are still addicted to excess of sadness: some weeping they know not why, and some thinking it ought to be so: and if they should smile or speak merrily, their hearts smite them for it, as if they had done amiss. 4. They place most of their religion in sorrowing and austerities to the flesh. 5. They are continual self-accusers, turning all manner of accusation against themselves, which they hear, or read, or see, or think of: quarrelling with themselves for every thing they do, as a contentious person doth with others. 6. They are still apprehending themselves forsaken of God, and are prone to despair: they are just like a man in a wilderness, forsaken of all his friends and comforts, forlorn and desolate: their continual thought is, I am undone, undone, undone! 7. They are still thinking that the day of grace is past, and that it is now too late to repent or to find mercy. If you tell them of the tenor of the gospel, and offers of free pardon to every penitent believer, they cry out still, Too late, too late, my day is past; not considering that every soul that truly repenteth in this life is certainly forgiven. 8. They are oft tempted to gather despairing thoughts from the doctrine of predestination, and to think that if God have reprobated them, or have not elected them, all that they can do, or that all the world can do, cannot save them; and next they strongly conceit that they are not elected, and so that they are past help or hope: not knowing that God electeth not any man separately or simply to be saved, but conjunctly to believe, repent, and to be saved; and so to the end and means together; and that all that will repent and choose Christ and a holy life, are elected to salvation, because they are elected to the means and condition of salvation, which, if they persevere, they shall enjoy. To repent is the best way to prove that I am elected to repent. 9. They never read or hear of any miserable instance, but they are thinking that this is their case. If they hear of Cain, of Pharaoh given up to hardness of heart, or do but read that some are vessels of wrath fitted to destruction, or that they have eyes and see not, ears and hear not, hearts and understand not, they think, This is all spoken of me; or, This is just my case. If they hear of any terrible example of God's judgments on any, they think it will be so with them. If any die suddenly, or a house be burnt, or any be distracted, or die in despair, they think it will be so with them. The reading of Spira's case causeth or increaseth melancholy in many; the ignorant author having described a plain melancholy, contracted by the trouble of sinning against conscience, as if it were a damnable despair of a sound understanding. 10. And yet they think that never any one was as they are. I have had abundance in a few weeks with me, almost just in the same case, and yet every one say that never any one was as they. 11. They are utterly unable to rejoice in any thing; they cannot apprehend, believe, or think of any thing that is comfortable to them. They read all the threatenings of the word with quick sense and application, but the promises they read over and over, without taking notice of them, as if they had not read them; or else say, They do not belong to me: the greater the mercy of God is, and the riches of grace, the more miserable am I that have no part in them. They are like a man in continual pain or sickness, that cannot rejoice, because the feeling of his pain forbiddeth him. They look on husband, wife, friends, children, house, goods, and all without any comfort; as one would do that is going to be executed for some crime. 12. Their consciences are quick in telling them of sin, and putting them upon any dejection as a duty; but they are dead to all duties that tend to consolation; as to thanksgiving for mercies, praises of God, meditating on his love, and grace, and Christ, and promises: put them never so hard on these, and they feel not their duty, nor make any conscience of it, but think it is a duty for others, but unsuitable to them. 13. They always say that they cannot believe, and therefore think they cannot be saved: because that commonly they mistake the nature of faith, and take it to be a believing that they themselves are forgiven and in favour with God, and shall be saved; and because they cannot believe this, (which their disease will not suffer them to believe,) therefore they think that they are no believers: whereas saving faith is nothing but such a belief that the gospel is true, and Christ is the Saviour to be trusted with our souls, as causeth our wills to consent that he be ours and that we be his, and so to subscribe the covenant of grace. Yet while they thus consent, and would give a world to be sure that Christ was theirs, and to be perfectly holy, yet they think they believe not, because they believe not that he will forgive or save them. 14. They are still displeased and discontented with themselves; just as a peevish, froward person is apt to be with others: see one that is hard to be pleased, and is finding fault with every thing that he sees or hears, and offended at every one that comes in his way, and suspicious of every body that he sees whispering; and just so is a melancholy person against himself; suspecting, and displeased and finding fault with all. 15. They are much addicted to solitariness, and weary of company for the most part. 16. They are given up to fixed musings, and long, poring thoughts to little purpose: so that deep musings and thinkings are their chief employments, and much of their disease. 17. They are much averse to the labours of their callings, and given to idleness; either to lie in bed, or sit thinking unprofitably by themselves. 18. Their thoughts are most upon themselves, like the millstones that grind on themselves, when they have no grist: so one thought begets another: their thoughts are taken up about their thoughts: when they have been thinking irregularly, they think again what they have been thinking on: they meditate not much on God, (unless on his wrath,) nor heaven, nor Christ, nor the state of the church, nor any thing without them (ordinarily); but all their thoughts are contracted and turned inwards on themselves: self-troubling is the sum of their thoughts and lives. 19. Their thoughts are all perplexed like ravelled yarn or silk; or like a man in a maze, or wilderness, or that hath lost himself and his way in the night: he is poring and groping about, and can make little of any thing, but is bewildered, and moidered, and entangled the more; full of doubts and difficulties, out of which he cannot find the way. 20. He is endless in his scruples: afraid lest he sin in every word he speaketh, and in every thought, and every look, and every meal he eateth, and all the clothes he weareth: and if he think to amend them, he is still scrupling his supposed amendments: he dare neither travel, nor stay at home, neither speak, nor be silent; but he is scrupling all; as if he were wholly composed of self-perplexing scruples. 21. Hence it comes to pass that he is greatly addicted to superstition; to make many laws to himself that God never made him; and to insnare himself with needless vows, and resolutions, and hurtful austerities; "touch not, taste not, handle not;" and to place his religion much in such outward, self-imposed tasks;[314] to spend so many hours in this or that act of devotion; to wear such clothes, and forbear other that are finer; to forbear all diet that pleaseth the appetite, with much of the like. A great deal of the perfection of popish devotion proceeded from melancholy, though their government come from pride and covetousness. 22. They have lost the power of governing their thoughts by reason; so that if you convince them that they should cast out their self-perplexing, unprofitable thoughts, and turn their thoughts to other subjects, or be vacant, they are not able to obey you: they seem to be under a necessity or constraint; they cannot cast out their troublesome thoughts; they cannot turn away their minds; they cannot think of love and mercy; they can think of nothing but what they do think of, any more than a man in the tooth-ache can forbear to think of his pain. 23. They usually grow hence to a disability to any private prayer or meditation; their thoughts are presently cast all into a confusion, when they should pray or meditate; they scatter abroad a hundred ways; and they cannot keep them upon any thing: for this is the very point of their disease; a distempered, confused fantasy, with a weak reason which cannot govern it. Sometimes terror driveth them from prayer; they dare not hope, and therefore dare not pray: and usually they dare not receive the Lord's supper; here they are fearfulest of all; and if they do receive it, they are cast down with terrors, fearing that they have taken their own damnation, by receiving unworthily. 24. Hence they grow to a great averseness to all holy duty: fear and despair make them go to prayer, hearing, reading, as a bear to the stake; and then they think they are haters of God and godliness, imputing the effects of their disease to their souls; when yet at the same time, those of them that are godly, would rather be freed from all their sins, and be perfectly holy, than have all the riches or honour in the world. 25. They are usually so taken up with busy and earnest thoughts, (which being all perplexed, do but strive with themselves, and contradict one another,) that they feel it just as if something were speaking within them, and all their own violent thoughts were the pleadings and impulse of some other; and therefore they are wont to impute all their fantasies, either to some extraordinary actings of the devil, or to some extraordinary motions of the Spirit of God: and they are used to express themselves in such words as these, It was set upon my heart, or it was said to me, that I must do thus and thus; and then it was said, I must not do this or that; and I was told I must do so or so. And they think that their own imagination is something talking in them, and saying to them all that they are thinking. 26. When melancholy groweth strong, they are almost always troubled with hideous, blasphemous temptations, against God, or Christ, or the Scripture, and against the immortality of the soul; which cometh partly from their own fears, which make them think most (against their will) of that which they are most afraid of thinking: as the spirits and blood will have recourse to the part that is hurt. The very pain of their fears doth draw their thoughts to what they fear. As he that is over-desirous to sleep, and afraid lest he shall not sleep, is sure to wake, because his fears and desires keep him waking: so do the fears and desires of the melancholy cross themselves. And withal, the malice of the devil plainly here interposeth, and taketh advantage by this disease, to tempt and trouble them, and to show his hatred to God, and Christ, and Scripture, and to them. For as he can much easier tempt a choleric person to anger, than another, and a phlegmatic, fleshly person to sloth, and a sanguine or hot-tempered person to lust, and wantonness; so also a melancholy person to thoughts of blasphemy, infidelity, and despair. And ofttimes they feel a vehement urgency, as if something within them urged them to speak such or such a blasphemous or foolish, word; and they can have no rest unless they yield in this, and other such cases, to what they are urged to. And some are ready to yield in a temptation to be quiet: and when they have done, they are tempted utterly to despair because they have committed so great a sin: and when the devil hath got this advantage of them, he is still setting it before them. 27. Hereupon they are further tempted to think they have committed the sin against the Holy Ghost; not understanding what that sin is, but fearing it is theirs, because it is a fearful sin: at least they think they shall not be forgiven; not considering that a temptation is one thing, and a sin another; and that no man hath less cause to fear being condemned for his sin, than he that is least willing of it, and most hateth it. And no man can be less willing of any sin, than these poor souls are of the hideous, blasphemous thoughts which they complain of. 28. Hereupon some of them grow to think that they are possessed of devils: and if it do but enter into their fantasy how possessed persons used to act, the very strength of imagination will make them do so too: so that I have known those that would swear, and curse, and blaspheme, and imitate an inward alien voice, thinking themselves that it was the devil in them that did all this. But these that go so far are but few. 29. Some of them that are near distraction, verily think that they hear voices, and see lights and apparitions, that the curtains are opened on them, that something meets them, and saith this or that to them, when all is but the error of a crazed brain and sick imagination. 30. Many of them are weary of their lives, through the constant, tiring perplexities of their minds; and yet afraid of dying: some of them resolutely famish themselves: some are strongly tempted to murder themselves, and they are haunted with the temptation so restlessly, that they can go no whither but they feel as if somewhat within them put them on, and said, Do it, do it; so that many poor creatures yield, and make away with themselves. 31. Many of them are restlessly vexed with fears of want, and poverty, and misery to their families; and of imprisonment or banishment; and lest somebody will kill them; and every one that they see whisper, they think is plotting to take away their lives. 32. Some of them lay a law upon themselves that they will not speak, and so live long in resolute silence. 33. All of them are intractable, and stiff in their own conceits, and hardly persuaded out of them, be they never so irrational. 34. Few of them are the better for any reason, conviction, or counsel that is given them: if it seem to satisfy, and quiet, and rejoice them at the present, to-morrow they are as bad again: it being the nature of their disease, to think as they do think; and their thoughts are not cured while the disease is uncured. 35. Yet in all this distemper, few of them will believe that they are melancholy; but abhor to hear men tell them so, and say it is but the rational sense of their unhappiness, and the forsakings and heavy wrath of God. And therefore they are hardly persuaded to take any physic or use any means for the cure of their bodies, saying that they are well, and being confident that it is only their souls that are distressed.

This is the miserable case of these poor people, greatly to be pitied, and not to be despised by any. I have spoken nothing but what I have often seen and known. And let none despise such, for men of all sorts do fall into this misery; learned and unlearned, high and low, good and bad, yea, some that have lived in greatest jollity and sensuality, when God hath made them feel their folly.

The causes of it are, 1. Most commonly some worldly loss, or cross, or grief, or care, which made too deep an impression on them. 2. Sometimes excess of fear upon any common occasion of danger. 3. Sometimes over-hard and unintermitted studies, or thoughts, which screw up and rack the fantasy too much. 4. Sometimes too deep fears, or too constant, and serious, and passionate thoughts and cares about the danger of the soul. 5. The great preparatives to it, (which are indeed the principal cause,) are a weak head, and reason, joined with strong passion, which are oftest found in women, and those to whom it is natural. 6. And in some it is brought in by some heinous sin, the sight of which they cannot bear, when conscience is but once awakened.

When this disease is gone very far, directions to the persons themselves are vain, because they have not reason and free-will to practise them; but it is their friends about them that must have the directions. But because with the most of them, and at first, there is some power of reason left, I give directions for the use of such.

_Direct._ I. See that no error in religion be the cause of your distress: especially understand well the covenant of grace, and the riches of mercy manifested in Christ. Among others, it will be useful to you to understand these following truths.

[Sidenote: Special truths to be known for preventing causeless troubles.]

1. That our thoughts of the infinite goodness of God, should bear proportion with our thoughts concerning his infinite power and wisdom.

2. That the mercy of God hath provided for all mankind so sufficient a Saviour, that no sinner shall perish for want of a sufficient satisfaction made for his sins by Christ, nor is it made the condition of any man's salvation or pardon, that he satisfy for his own sins.

3. That Christ hath in his gospel covenant (which is an act of oblivion) made over himself with pardon and salvation, to all that will penitently and believingly accept the offer. And that none perish that hear the gospel, but the final, obstinate refusers of Christ and life.

4. That he that so far believeth the truth of the gospel, as to consent to the covenant of grace, even that God the Father be his Lord and reconciled Father, and Christ his Saviour, and the Holy Ghost his Sanctifier, hath true, saving faith, and right to the blessing of the covenant.

5. That the day of grace is so far commensurate or equal to our lifetime, that whosoever truly repenteth and consenteth to the covenant of grace, before his death, is certainly pardoned, and in a state of life: and that it is every man's duty so to do, that pardon may be theirs.

6. That Satan's temptations are none of our sins, but only our yielding to them.

7. That the effects of natural sickness or diseasedness, are not (in themselves) sins.

8. That those are the smallest sins (formally) and least like to condemn us, which we are most unwilling of, and are least in love or liking of.

9. That no sin shall condemn us which we hate more than love, and which we had rather leave and be delivered from than keep: for this is true repentance.

10. That he is truly sanctified who had rather be perfect in holiness of heart and life, in loving God, and living by faith, than to have the greatest pleasures, riches, or honours of the world; taking in the means also by which both are attained.

11. That he who hath this grace and desire may know that he is elect; and the making of our calling sure by our consenting to the holy covenant, is the making of our election sure.

12. That the same thing which is a great duty to others, may be no duty to one, who by bodily distemper (as fevers, phrensies, melancholy) is unable to perform it.

_Direct._ II. Take heed of worldly cares, and sorrows, and discontents. Set not so much by earthly things, as to enable them to disquiet you; but learn to cast your cares on God. You can have less peace in any affliction which cometh by such a carnal, sinful means. It is much more safe to be distracted with cares for heaven than for earth.

_Direct._ III. Meditation is no duty at all for a melancholy person, except some few that are able to bear a diverting meditation, which must be of something furthest from the matter which troubleth them; or except it be short meditations like ejaculatory prayers. A set and serious meditation will but confound you, and disturb you, and disable you to other duties. If a man have a broken leg, he must not go on it till it is knit, lest all the body fare the worse. It is your thinking faculty, or your imagination, which is the broken, pained part; and therefore you must not use it about the things that trouble you. Perhaps you will say, That this is to be profane, and forget God and your soul, and let the tempter have his will. But I answer, No; it is but to forbear that which you cannot do at present, that by doing other things which you can do, you may come again to do this which you now cannot do: it is but to forbear attempting that, which will but make you less able to do all other duties. And at the present, you may conduct the affairs of your soul by holy reason. I persuade you not from repenting or believing, but from set, and long, and deep meditations, which will but hurt you.

_Direct._ IV. Be not too long in any secret duty which you find you are not able to bear. Prayer itself, when you are unable, must be performed but as you can; short confessions and requests to God must serve instead of longer secret prayers, when you are unable to do more. If sickness may excuse a man for being short, where nature will not hold out, the case is the same here, in the sickness of the brain and spirits. God hath appointed no means to do you hurt.

_Direct._ V. Where you find yourselves unable for a secret duty, struggle not too hard with yourselves, but go that pace that you are able to go quietly. For as every striving doth not enable you, but vex you, and make duty wearisome to you, and disable you more, by increasing your disease: like an ox that draweth unquietly, and a horse that chafeth himself, that quickly tireth. Preserve your willingness to duty, and avoid that which makes it grievous to you. As to a sick stomach, it is not eating much, but digesting well, that tends to health; and little must be eaten when much cannot be digested; so it is here in case of your meditations and secret prayers.

_Direct._ VI. Be most in those duties which you are best able to bear; which, with most, is prayer, with others hearing, and good discourse. As a sick man whose stomach is against other meats, must eat of that which he can eat of. And God hath provided variety of means, that one may do the work, when the other are wanting. Do not misunderstand me; in cases of absolute necessity, I say again, you must strive to do it whatever come of it. If you are backward to believe, to repent, to love God and your neighbour, to live soberly, righteously, and godly, to pray at all; here you must strive, and not excuse it by any backwardness; for it is that which must needs be done, or you are lost. But a man that cannot read may be saved without his reading; and a man in prison or sickness may be saved without hearing the word, and without the church communion of saints: and so a man disabled by melancholy, may be saved by shorter thoughts and ejaculations, without set and long meditations and secret prayers; and other duties which he is able for will supply the want of these. Even as nature hath provided two eyes, and two ears, and two nostrils, and two reins, and lungs, that when one is stopped or faulty, the other may supply its wants for a time; so it is here.

_Direct._ VII. Avoid all unnecessary solitariness, and be as much as possible in honest, cheerful company. You have need of others, and are not sufficient for yourselves; and God will use and honour others, as his hands, to deliver us his blessings. Solitariness is to those that are fit for it, an excellent season for meditation and converse with God and with our hearts; but to you, it is the season of temptation and danger. If Satan tempted Christ himself, when he had him fasting and solitary in a wilderness; much more will he take this as his opportunity against you. Solitude is the season of musings and thoughtfulness, which are the things which you must fly from, if you will not be deprived of all.

_Direct._ VIII. When blasphemous or disturbing thoughts look in, or fruitless musings, presently meet them, and use that authority of reason which is left you, to cast them and command them out. If you have not lost it, reason and the will have a command over the thoughts as well as over the tongue, or hands, or feet. And as you would be ashamed to run up and down, or fight with your hands, and say, I cannot help it; or to let your tongue run all day, and say, I cannot stop it; so should you be ashamed to let your thoughts run at random, or on hurtful things, and say, I cannot help it. Do you do the best you can to help it? Cannot you bid them be gone? Cannot you turn your thoughts to something else? Or cannot you rouse up yourself, and shake them off? Some by casting a little cold water in their own faces, or bidding another do it, can rouse themselves from melancholy musings as from sleep. Or cannot you get out of the room, and set yourself about some business which will divert you? You might do more than you do, if you were but willing, and know how much it is your duty.

_Direct._ IX. When you do think of any holy things, let it be of the best things; of God, and grace, and Christ, and heaven; or of your brethren, or the church: and carry all your meditations outward; but be sure you pore not on yourselves, and spend not your thoughts upon your thoughts. As we have need to call the thoughts of careless sinners inwards, and turn them from the creature and sin, upon themselves; so we have need to call the thoughts of self-perplexing, melancholy persons outwards; for it is their disease to be still grinding upon themselves. Remember that it is a far higher, nobler, and sweeter work to think of God, and Christ, and heaven, than of such worms as we ourselves are. When we go up to God, we go to love, and light, and liberty; but when we look down into ourselves, we look into a dungeon, a prison, a wilderness, a place of darkness, horror, filthiness, misery, and confusion. Therefore, though such thoughts be needful, so far as without them our repentance and due watchfulness cannot be maintained, yet they are grievous, ignoble, yea, and barren, in comparison of our thoughts of God. When you are poring on your hearts, to search whether the love of God be there or no, it were wiser to be thinking of the infinite amiableness of God; and that will cause it, whether it were there before or not. So instead of poring on your hearts, to know whether they are set on heaven, lift up your thoughts to heaven, and think of its glory, and that will raise them thither, and give you and show you that which you were searching for. Bestow that time in planting holy desires in the garden of your hearts, which you bestow in routing and puzzling yourselves in searching whether it be there already. We are such dark, confused things, that the sight of ourselves is enough to raise a loathing and a horror in our minds, and make them melancholy; but in God and glory there is nothing to discourage our thoughts, but all to delight them, if Satan do not misrepresent him to us.

_Direct._ X. Overlook not the miracle of love which God hath showed us in the wonderful incarnation, office, life, death, resurrection, ascension, and reign of our Redeemer; but steep your thoughts most in these wonders of mercy, proposed by God to be the chief matter of your thoughts. You should in reason lay out many thoughts of Christ and grace, for one that you lay out on your sin and misery. God requireth you to see your sin and misery, but so much as tendeth to magnify the remedy, and cause you to accept it. Never think of sin and hell alone; but as the way to the thoughts of Christ and grace. This is the duty even of the worst. Are your sins ever before you? Why is not pardoning grace in Christ before you? Is hell open before you? Why is not the Redeemer also before you? Do you say, Because that sin and hell are yours, but Christ, and holiness, and heaven, are none of yours? I answer you, It is then because you will have it so: if you would not have it so, it is not so. God hath set life first before you, and not only death. He hath put Christ, and holiness, and heaven in his end of the balance; and the devil puts the pleasure of sin for a season in the other end. That which you choose unfeignedly is yours; for God hath given you your choice. Nothing is truer than that God hath so far made over Christ and life to all that hear the gospel, that nothing but their final obstinate refusal can condemn them:[315] Christ and life are brought to the will and choice of all, though all have not wills to accept and choose him. And if you would not have Christ, and life, and holiness, what would you rather have? and why complain you?

_Direct._ XI. Think and speak as much of the mercy which you have received, as of the sin you have committed; and of the mercy which is offered you, as of what you want. You dare not say that the mercy you have received, is no more worthy to be remembered and mentioned, than all your sins. Shall God do so much for you, and shall it be overlooked, extenuated, and made nothing of? as if his mercies had been a bare bone, or barren wilderness, which would yield no sustenance to your thoughts. Be not guilty of so great unthankfulness. Thoughts of love and mercy would breed love and sweetness in the soul; while thoughts of sin and wrath only breed averseness, terror, bitterness, perplexity, and drive away the heart from God.

_Direct._ XII. Tie yourselves daily to spend as great a part of your time in your prayers, in the confessing of mercy received, as in confessing sin committed; and in the praises of God, as in the lamenting of your own miseries. You dare not deny but this is your duty, if you understand your duty; thanksgiving and praise are greater duties than confessing sin and misery. Resolve then that they shall have the largest share of time. If you will but do this much, (which you can do if you will,) it will in time take off the bitterness of your spirits; and the very frequent mention of sweeter things, will sweeten your minds, and change their temperature and habit, as change of diet changeth the temperature of the body. I beseech you, resolve, and try this course. If you cannot mention mercy so thankfully as you would, nor mention God's excellencies so holily and praisefully as you would, yet do what you can, and mention them as you are able. You may command your time, (what shall have the greatest share in prayer,) though not your affections; you will find the benefit very great, if you will but do this.

_Direct._ XIII. Overvalue not the passionate part of duty, but know that judgment, will, and practice, a high esteem of God and holiness, a resolved choice, and a sincere endeavour, are the life of grace and duty, when feeling passions are but lower, uncertain things. You know not what you do, when you lay so much on the passionate part; nor when you strive so much for deep and transporting apprehensions; these are not the great things, nor essentials of holiness. Too much of this feeling may distract you. God knoweth how much you are able to bear. Passionate feelings depend much upon nature. Some persons are more sensible than others; a little thing goeth deep with some: the wisest and weightiest persons are usually least passionate; and the weakest hardly moderate their passions. God is not an object of sense, and therefore more fit for the understanding and will, than the passions, to work upon. That is the holiest soul which is most inclined to God, and resolved for him, and conformed to his will; and not that which is affected with the deepest griefs, and fears, and joys, and other such transporting passions; though it were best, if even holy passions could be raised at the will's command, in that measure which fitteth us best for duty. But I have known many complain for want of deeper feeling, who if their feeling (as they called their passion) had been more, it might have distracted them. I had rather be that christian that loathes himself for sin, resolveth against it, and forsaketh it, though he cannot weep for it; than one of those that can weep to-day, and sin again to-morrow, and whose sinful passions are quickly stirred, as well as their better passions.

_Direct._ XIV. Make not too great a matter of your own thoughts; and take not too much notice of them; but if Satan cast in molesting thoughts, if you cannot cast them out, set light by them, and take less notice of them. Making a great matter of every thought that is cast into your mind, will keep those thoughts in your mind the longer. For that which we are most sensible of, we most think on; and that which we least regard, we least remember. If you would never be rid of them, the way is to be still noting them, and making too great a matter of them. These troublesome thoughts are like troublesome scolds, that if you regard them, and answer them, will never have done with you; but if you let them talk, and take no notice of them, nor make any answer to them, they will be weary and give over. The devil's design is to vex and disquiet you; and if he see you will not be vexed and disquieted, he will give over attempting it. I know you will say, Should I be so ungodly as to make light of such sinful thoughts? I answer, Make not so light of them as to be indifferent what thoughts are in your mind, nor so as to take the small sin to be none; but make so light of them as not to take them for greater nor more dangerous sins than they are; and so light of them as not to take distinct, particular notice of them, nor to disquiet yourselves about them; for if you do, you will have no room in your thoughts for Christ and heaven, and that which should take up your thoughts; but the devil will rejoice to see how he employeth you in thinking over your own thoughts, or rather his temptations; and that he can employ you all the day in hearkening to all that he will say to you, and in thinking of his motions instead of thinking on the works of God. There are none of God's servants without irregularities and sin of thoughts, which they must daily ask forgiveness of, and rejoice to think that they have a sufficient Saviour and remedy, and that sin shall but occasion the magnifying of grace; but if they should excessively observe and be troubled at every unwarrantable thought, it would be a snare to take them off almost all their greater duties. Would you like it in your servant, if he should stop in observing and troubling himself about every ordinary imperfection in his work, instead of going on to do it?

_Direct._ XV. Remember that it is no sin to be tempted, but only to yield to the temptation; and that Christ himself was carried about and tempted blasphemously by the devil, even to fall down and worship him; and yet he made these temptations but an advantage to the glory of his victory. Take not the devil's sin to be yours. Are your temptations more horrid and odious than Christ's were? What if the devil had carried you to the pinnacle of the temple as he did Christ? Would you not have thought that God had forsaken you, and given you up to the power of Satan? But you will say, that you yield to the temptation, and so did not Christ. I answer, It cannot be expected that sinful man should bear a temptation as innocently as Christ did? Satan found nothing in Christ to comply with him; but in us he findeth a sinful nature! Wax will receive an impression when marble will not. But it is not every sinful taint that is a consent to the sin to which we are tempted.

_Direct._ XVI. Consider how far you are from loving, delighting in, or being loth to leave these sinful thoughts; and that no sin condemneth, but that which is so loved and delighted in, as that you had rather keep than leave it. Would you not fain be delivered from all these horrid thoughts and sins? Could you not be willing to live in disgrace, or want, or banishment, so you might but be free from sin? If so, why doubt you of the pardon of it? Can you have any surer sign of repentance, or that your sin is not a reigning, unpardoned sin, than that it is not loved and desired by you? The less will, the less sin, and the more will, the more sin. The covetous man loveth his money, and the fornicator loveth his lust, and the proud man loveth his honour, and the drunkard loveth his cups, and the glutton loveth to satisfy his appetite; and so love these that they will not leave them. But do you love your disturbing, confused, or blasphemous thoughts? Are you not so weary of them, as to be even weary of your lives because of them? would you not be glad and thankful never to be troubled with them more? And yet do you doubt of pardon?

_Direct._ XVII. Charge not your souls any deeper than there is cause with the effects of your disease. Indeed remotely a man that in distraction thinks or speaks amiss, may be said to be faulty, so far as his sin did cause his disease; but directly and of itself, the involuntary effects of sickness are no sin. Melancholy is a mere disease in the spirits and imagination, though you feel no sickness; and it is as natural for a melancholy person to be hurried and molested with doubts, and fears, and despairing thoughts, and blasphemous temptations, as it is for a man to talk idly in a fever when his understanding faileth; or to think of and desire drink, when his fever kindleth vehement thirst. And how much would you have a man in a fever accuse himself for such a thirst, or such thoughts, desire, or talk? If you had those hideous thoughts in your dreams, which you have when you are awake, would you think them unpardoned sins, or rather unavoidable infirmities? why your distemper makes them to be to you but almost as dreams.

_Direct._ XVIII. Be sure that you keep yourself constantly employed (as far as your strength will bear) in the diligent labours of a lawful calling; and spend none of your precious time in idleness. Idleness is the tide-time of the tempter: when you are idle, you invite the devil to come and vex you. Then you can have while to hearken to him, and think on all that he will put into your minds, and then to think over all those thoughts again! When you have nothing else to do, the devil will find you such work. Then you must sit still and muse; and your thoughts must be stirring in the mud of your own distempers, as children lie paddling in the dirt. And idleness is a sin, which God will not favour. He hath commanded you to "labour six days, and in the sweat of your brows to eat you bread; and he that will not labour is unworthy to eat," 2 Thess. iii. Remember that time is precious, and doth haste away, and God hath given you none in vain. Therefore, as you are troubled for other sins, make conscience of this sin, and waste not one quarter of an hour's time in your idle, unprofitable musings. It is just with God to make your sin itself to be your punishment, and your own idle thoughts to chastise you daily, when you will not get up and go about your lawful business. Nor will pretences of prayer, or any devotion, excuse your idleness, for it is against the law of God. Above all that I have said to you, let me entreat you therefore to obey this one direction. I have known despairing, melancholy persons cured by setting themselves resolutely and diligently about their callings (and changing air and company, and riding abroad.) If you will sit musing in a corner, and sin against God by idleness and loss of time, and increase your own miseries withal, rather than you will rouse up yourself, and ply your business, your calamity is just. Say not, that you have little or nothing to do; for God hath made it the duty of all, be they never so rich, to labour in such employment as is suitable to their place and strength.

_Direct._ XIX. Do but mark well how much the devil gets by keeping you in sad, despondent thoughts; and then you may easily see that it cannot be your duty, nor best for you, which is so gainful and pleasing to the devil. By keeping you in these self-perplexing doubts and fears, he robs God of the thanks and praise which you owe him for all his mercies. These highest duties you cast aside, as if they did not belong to you. You give not God the honour of his most miraculous mercy, in our redemption; nor do you study, or relish, or admire, or magnify the riches of grace in Jesus Christ! You have poor, low thoughts of the infinite love of God, and are unfit to judge of it or perceive it, being like a choleric stomach, which puts a continual bitterness in the mouth, which hinders it from tasting any sweetness in their meat. It hereby unfitteth you for the love of God, and more inclineth you to hate him, or fly from him as an enemy, while the devil representeth him to you as one that hateth you; it loseth your time; it depriveth you of all your willingness to duty, and delight in duty, and maketh all God's service a burden and vexation to you. It is very contrary to the spirit of adoption, and to the whole frame of evangelical worship and obedience. And will you, under pretence of being more humbled, and sorrowful, and sensible, thus gratify Satan, and wrong God and yourselves.