Chapter XVII: Act V: , Scene 1

LIBACER _solus_.

LIB. What politician was there ever yet Who, swimming through a sea of plots and treasons, Sank not at last i' th' very haven's mouth? And shall I do so too? No, my thoughts prompt me, I shall be told in story, as the first That stood secure upon the dreadful ruins He had thrown down beneath him. Yet I'm nigh The precipice I strive to shun with so much care. I have betray'd Plangus, 'tis true, and still Have found a growing fortune; but so long As jealousy binds up Ephorbas' thoughts From searching deeper, deeper, 'tis not well That Plangus lives at all: though he be disgrac'd. H' has friends enow about the king, and they Will find a time to pacify him, which will be My undoing. He must not therefore live. Andromana is of that mind too; But how to compass it? or when perhaps I have, what will become of me? Nothing more usual than for those folks, who Have by sinister means reach'd to the top O' th' mountain of their hopes, but they throw down And forget the power that rais'd them; indeed Necessity enforceth them, lest others climb By the same steps they did, and ruin them. I must not therefore trust her womanship, Who, though I know she cannot stand without Me now; yet, when she's queen alone, Fortune may alter her, and make her look Upon me as one whose life whispers Unto her own guilt. 'Tis not safe to be The object of a princess' fear; then she will find Others will be as apt to keep her up As I to raise her. I'll prevent her first. Time is not ripe yet; but when it is (for I must walk on with her a little farther) I will unravel all this labyrinth ev'n To the king himself. Then let her accuse me, Though she should damn herself to hell, I know she'll be believ'd no more Than Plangus hath been hitherto. Thus shall I still grow great, though all the world Be to a dreadful ruin madly hurl'd.

[_Exit._

SCENE II.

PLANGUS _solus_.

PLAN. I can no longer hold; 'tis not i' th' power Of fate to make me less. Bid me outstare The sun, outrun a falling star, Feed upon flames, or pocket up the clouds; Or if there be a task mad Juno's hate Could not invent to plague poor Hercules, Impose it upon me, I'll do't without a grudge. Condemn me to a galley, load me with chains Whose weight may so keep me down, I can scarce Swell under my burden to let out a sigh, I would o'ercome all. Were there a deity That men adore, and throw their prayers upon, That would lend just ears to human wishes, I would grow great by being punished, and be A plague myself, so that when people curs'd Beyond invention, to their prodigious rhetoric This epiphonema should be added, "Become as miserable as wretched Plangus." I have been jaded, basely jaded, By those tame fools, honour and piety, And now am wak'd into revenge, breathing forth ruin To those first spread this drowsiness upon My soul. A woman! O heaven, had I been gull'd By anything had borne the name of man! But this will look so sordidly in story: I shall be grown discourse for grooms and footboys, Be balladed, and sung to filthy tunes. But do I talk still? well, I must leave this patience. And now, Ephorbas, Since thou hast wrought me to this temper, I'll be reveng'd with as much skill as thou Hast injur'd me. I will to these presently, for My hour-glass shall not run ten minutes longer, And having kill'd myself before thee, I'll pluck my heart out, tell thee all My innocence, and leave thee hemm'd in with A despair thicker than Egyptian darkness. I know thou canst not choose but die for grief. But here he is.

[_Exit._

SCENE III.

EPHORBAS _solus_.

EPH. Riddle on[104] riddle! I have dream'd this night Plangus was cloth'd, like innocence, all white; And Andromana then methought was grown So black, nothing but all one guilt was shown. What shall I do? Shall I believe a dream? Which is a vapour borne along the stream Of fancy, and sprung up from the gross fumes Of a full stomach, sent to th' upper rooms O' th' brain by our ill genius, to spoil our sight, And cloud our judgments like a misty night. Why do I doubt? 'tis ominous to stay Demurring, when the way is plain. Is day Or night best to judge colours? shall I stand, Trying the water's soundness, when the land Presents firm footing? Truth by day appears, And I from tapers hope to find my fears Oppos'd. And yet methinks 'tis very strange, A son of mine should suddenly thus change, And throw his nature off; I did not so When I was young. I am resolv'd to know The truth, and clear this mist from 'fore my eyes, If't can be done by care, by gold, or spies.

[_Exit._

SCENE IV.

ANDROMANA _sola_.

AND. So badgers dig the holes, and foxes live in them. Of all factors, state-factors are the worst, And get least to themselves of all their labour. This Libacer Is wading to the throat in blood to do me Service. Tame fool! can he imagine I Remove a husband and a son, to suffer him To live still and upbraid my ills?

_Enter_ LIBACER.

LIB. It is resolv'd. But here she is, I must speak fairly for awhile.

AND. How doth it succeed now, my darling? Shall we be great? [be] great alone?

LIB. As great as pride and fulness of revenge Can swell us. Hark in your ear, madam, I'll tell you all our plot; but softly, for Perhaps the jealous walls may echo back The treason.

[_They whisper._

SCENE V.

_Enter_ PLANGUS _with his sword drawn_.

PLAN. I bore whil[e]st I could; but now 'tis grown Too great to be contain'd in human breast, And it shall out, though hoop'd with walls of brass. Are they at it? I stood once listening At their entreaty; this time at my own I'll stand and hearken.

[_Steps aside._

AND. 'Tis impossible.

LIB. I tell you, no. I'll aggravate the injuries, And tell him how basely poor it was for A father to betray his son so.

AND. His piety shall never----

LIB. But his fury shall. I'll stab the king himself, and bring Those witnesses shall swear 'twas Plangus.

PLAN. Nay, then, 'tis time to strike-- There, carry thy intents to hell.

[_He stabs_ LIBACER.

AND. Help! murder, murder! a rape, a rape!

_Enter_ EPHORBAS.

EPH. What dismal note was that?

AND. Sir, there You see your martyr, whose force being Too weak to save my honour, his fidelity Was greater, and [has] died a royal sacrifice, Offer'd by th' impious hand of that vile man.

EPH. O heav'n! doth not the earth yet gape and swallow thee? Thy life shall be my crime no longer; I gave it thee, And thus resume it with a thousand curses.

[_He stabs_ PLANGUS.

PLAN. Sir, I at length am happy to the height Of all my wishes. I'm a-going suddenly

[_Faints._

From all my troubles, all your fears; but I Will tell my story first-- How you have wrong'd, and been wronged yourself. This woman, to be short, hath twin'd Like ivy with my naked limbs, before She married you, and would--O, In spite of death I will go on--have tempted me To bed her since. Upon refusal, she Turned her love to hate, and plots my ruin, And next your death--I can no more--I kill'd The instrument--farewell, forgive me.

[_Dies._

EPH. Can this be true, Andromana?

AND. Do you believe it?

EPH. I wish I had not cause----

AND. Sir, every syllable was true he told you; Whose words I thus confirm.

[_She takes_ PLANGUS'S _dagger, flings it at_ EPHORBAS, _and
kills him_.

EPH. I'm slain! mercy, Heaven!

_Enter_ INOPHILUS.

AND. You should have come a little sooner.

INO. Do I see well? or is the prince here slain?

AND. He is, and 'cause you love him, Carry that token of my love to him.

[_Stabs_ INOPHILUS.

I know he'll take it kindly that you take So long a journey only to see him.

INO. It was the devil struck, sure, A woman could not do it.--Plangus, O!

[_Dies._

SCENE VI.

_Enter_ RINATUS, EUBULUS, ANAMEDES.

RIN. Heav'n defend us! what a sight is here? The king, The prince, both slain? what, and my son too? Only this woman living? Speak out, [thou] Screech-owl, witch, how came they by their deaths!

AND. By me; how else?

RIN. Let's torture her.

AND. I can Prevent you; I wouldn't live a minute longer Unless to act my ills again, for all Iberia.

[_Stabs herself._

I have lived long enough to boast an act, After which no mischief shall be new----

[_Dies._

RIN. Let's in, and weep our weary lives away; When this is told, let after-ages say, But Andromana none could have begun it, And none but Andromana could have done it.

[_Exeunt._

* * * * *

LADY ALIMONY.

_EDITION._

_Lady Alimony; or, The Alimony Lady. An Excellent Pleasant New
Comedy. Duly Authorized, daily Acted, and frequently Followed._

Nolumus amplexus sponsales; æra novellos
Nocte parent Socios, qui placuere magis.

LUCRET.

_London, Printed by Tho. Vere and William Gilbertson, and are
to be sold at the Angel without New-gate, and at the Bible in
Gilt-spur-street._ 1659. 4^o.

This piece is now first reprinted from the original edition. It is a curious and peculiar production, and was perhaps written twenty or twenty-five years before the date which appears on the title-page. Its attribution jointly to Thomas Lodge and Robert Greene is one of those alike silly and capricious affiliations of our earlier bibliographers, which sometimes scarcely seem as if they were seriously intended. From a passage at p. 281, it is readily apparent that it was not in existence till after 1633.

The interest and point of the present play principally depend on a vivid description of the doings of certain ladies of pleasure, or _bona-robas_, who are styled Ladies Alimony. The peculiarity of the piece in point of structure and character may be thought, perhaps, to go some way in atoning for its occasional licentiousness.

A considerable number of uncommon phrases are scattered through "Lady Alimony;" some of them are not noticed by our glossographers.

THE ACTORS PERSONATED IN THIS DRAMATIC.

EUGENIO, _the duke_.

SIR AMADIN PUNY, } SIR JASPER SIMPLETON, } SIR ARTHUR HEARTLESS, } _cashiered consorts_. SIR GREGORY SHAPELESS, } SIR TRISTRAM SHORTTOOL, } SIR REUBEN SCATTERGOOD, }

MADAM FRICASE, } MADAM CAVEARE, } MADAM JULIPPE, } _alimony ladies_. MADAM JOCULETTE, } MADAM MEDLER, } MADAM TINDER, }

FLORELLO, } CARANTO, } PALISADO, } _the ladies' Platonic confidants_. SALIBRAND, } MORISCO, } TILLYVALLY, }

GALLERIUS, _ghost_. TIMON, _the composer_. TRILLO, _the censor_. SIPARIUS, _the book-holder_.

_Chorist, Constable, Watch, Country Boors, Trepanners, Pages,
with other Officials._

_The Scene, Seville._

LADY ALIMONY.